Truant Hero (1992) - full transcript
This film is produced by
Jing's Prod. Ltd.
Named "School Commandos".
Starring?
Who is the art director?
Our director is...
Fatly!
Our director is...
The handsome, smart, artiste...
Mr. Wong Jing!
Commissioner!
What's on?
2 men and a woman, 3 thieves inside.
They have strong arms,
one of the thieves,
called Mad Ball, he is really mad!
Did you call the Special Unit?
Yes!
Negotiation expert?
Yes!
Who'll come?
Big Mouth Ken!
Shit! Anybody else?
Commissioner, he is your nephew.
That's shit!
Give me the bullet proof vest.
Yes Sir!
Merciful God, please give me power.
To let the thieves surrender
automatically.
I've been a negotiation expert
for quite a long time.
But I've done none successful case.
God, please let me make one case
successfully, okay?
Ken!
Uncle!
Be smart! If you mess up again.
That Spider woman
will attack me again.
She is under you!
Why'd you be afraid of her?
But some female Legisco members
support her.
Said she is
the tight of women in police,
she wants my post.
That's shit!
Commissioner Wong, the vest.
Your mom asked me
to take care of you before she died.
Wear it! You've one life only.
Where is mine?
Sorry, we've only one left.
Uncle!
You are young and smart!
Youth'd lake risk.
So as to train him to smart
and successful.
Are you scared?
Don't be afraid,
the God will protect you.
Stop! Bullet's no big deal!
Uncle!
The light of woman.
Spider woman!
Why you are wet in such cold weather?
It's small case,
since you're too old.
Why not take a rest at home?
Calm down...
Since she is woman!
Or I'll chop them out.
So she can't milk!
Asking me?
Where have you last night?
Why didn't you call me?
To play mahjong!
You've used 5 minutes to answer!
Cunning you!
Who did you play with?
Turtle, Bull, and chicken.
You answer so fast! You must
have recited it several times.
Win or lose?
I've lost $200.
I give you $300
as pocket money per month.
How can you lose $200
by the end of the month?
You must have kept a lot with you.
It's my red pocket money.
Well, give me $1,000 more
for saving staring from next month.
What?
You can refuse,
I can refuse to marry you too.
The people inside listen!
I'm the liaison expert
from the Police Dept.
I'm sincere.
I want to enter and talk to you.
You are surrounded by us,
you have no way out.
If you don't surrender,
you'll be dead meal.
Ken, save the hostages.
What?
You are nearest to them.
Save the hostage.
Yes Madam!
Miss...
Don't move.
Don't move, don't get closed.
Be careful of me!
Go in!
How dare you hurt my wife?
None of my business.
I can tell you are telling lies
from your eyes.
My eyes itch!
Undress!
You can beat me!
But you have no reason to rape me!
Bottle playing!
We are playing - Russian Roulette.
I'll shoot
whom with a pointed bottle.
One, two!
Three!
Let's play in 3!
Three?
May I be excused?
I'll add one more.
What?
You and 1, 2 men, we've 4 together.
No!
I've got one only.
I've 3 then.
Don't!
Are you happy?
No!
I'm painful!
Let's play six this time!
No! I've to play, I'm not satisfied!
Wait for me, I'll be back.
Wait for me!
Don't point at me...
How are you? Are you okay?
You kill him!
Uncle, mom asked you
to take care of me.
Sure, I'm doing what she instructed.
I'm not asking you
to be undercover cop.
But to be an undercover in school,
to act as teacher.
What should I do?
To investigate the triads?
The students!
A Taiwan kid, nicked named Doggie.
Raise your legs.
Yes!
I see! You practice
your scissors legs in this way.
Nosy!
I'll break your head!
The kid's dad, Blackie Ko is
an VIP in Taiwan Triad Society.
Recently, he promised to co-operate
with the cops.
To change against 2 triad heads,
but the evidence is taken
by his ex-wife.
Search his ex-wife then.
She died 3 months ago
in a car accident.
Maybe, his son will know it.
So search his son.
But the kid hates his dad so much.
He deny knowing Blackie.
I've found some clue that.
He may be a student in
St. Yoke Keung High School.
How he looks like?
His dad can't even recognize him
by that picture.
He was 7 when his dad last saw him.
Now, he is 17 years old.
The only thing to be recognized.
Is a birthmark,
a dog shape on the ass.
But I've got some information.
Taiwan triads are coming
to assassinate him.
So we must search Doggie first.
It's so difficult for me!
Spider woman is pushing me!
If you can't find him,
I'll put you in deep shit.
I'm afraid I'm not capable.
Well, I'll teach you my Kung-fu.
My most powerful kung-fu
is not scissors legs.
But Super Palms, right?
No! I've to play, I'm not satisfied!
Super finger!
Super finger?
This is no big deal.
You can do it.
My sole finger can support
my whole body.
If you can move the glass
with one finger.
You are successful!
To be an undercover,
I'd keep the secret.
But I've to report
to Hing 3 times a day.
You'd brush that sharp
longued woman off.
We've been together for 3 years!
3 years? Have you had sex?
No!
You can't spoil them!
What are you chatting?
Is my bra ready?
Sure! I want to Iron more
to make it softer.
So you'll feel more comfortable.
Let's separate.
Why do you cry?
It's useless, you know?
Calm down!
Why do you kneel down?
The passengers are looking,
are you kidding?
Don't pull my trousers,
I'll hit you, I swear!
Go to hell!
Stop it!
Am I cool enough?
You are cold blooded!
If I walk away right
after talking to her.
She'll cry terribly.
Please help me, watch over her.
I'm afraid she'd jump and suicide.
It's so difficult for me!
Okay, I know how.
She is coming.
I've something to tell you.
Go ahead!
Let's separate!
What?
I said... let's separate.
Why don't you stop it?
I am telling you.
We separate now.
Why?
It's no use for you to cry!
We'd keep calm.
I don't want to be calm.
No...
Don't leave me, don't!
Don't pull my legs!
Don't leave me!
Let go of me, hurry up!
No! I won't.
I'll kick you away, I swear!
No!
Get lost!
Don't leave me...
I'll die in front of you!
I'm going to die!
Don't! Calm down!
Get lost! Leave me alone!
Pal, don't suicide.
She brushed me off!
Since my affair is over.
I'd try very hard
and get success in my career.
I want to be a successful man.
I'll try very hard.
Work very hard.
I scare nothing.
I want to be a successful...
Teacher!
None of your business!
Are you the new teacher?
What's up?
Are you the teacher of his school?
I suppose to be!
That's great!
I'm new!
If anything wrong in the past.
Don't blame me!
That's really great!
I don't know how to fix it!
Please help me.
That's no big deal!
Thank you!
I'm new too!
Have you gone to a wrong place?
No! Am I like a teacher?
Yes!
The gov't sent us here.
I've my triad record clean.
I join the society
by the help of the gov't.
To work in some decent field!
Education, that's it.
We are ordinary citizens!
Yeah...
Which subject will you teach!
Look at me, I'm smart in...
Negotiation, oh, no.
I teach legal education, EPA.
I can't even stand
a mosquito in front of me.
That means,
I can't stand any bad student.
In my school.
Since you 2 join as teachers.
You're the responsibility
to fix the school discipline.
No problem.
If any of them doesn't follow
our instruction.
I'll beat that damn bastard.
Frame the damn boys and.
Rape the dame students.
Is that right?
Mr. Chan,
would you use civilized terms?
Well, if they don't follow
our instruction.
Let's use a bag to tie them in.
Teach them good lesson
with baseball bat.
And then, frame him, lastly.
We'd in order, one by one.
Have intercourse with them, please!
As it civilized enough?
But, in our school!
No one is bad student.
But all are bad students.
They are all rubbish.
All rotten students
are gathered here.
Two new teachers are here.
Let's enjoy another war.
Great!
Get ready!
In this semester,
a fierce war is going to start.
Listened?
What's the matter?
Damn...
I'm deal!
What did he say?
Why do you take an umbrella
in such sunny day?
This is a bridge between
the students and teachers.
What's is it?
You use the umbrella as bridge
to cross the river.
When you walk out,
take your umbrella, turn right here.
Jump after 3 steps.
Bend down now!
Why don't you warm me before hand?
You'll remember very well now, right?
You'd pay more attention.
Especially a boy called Ace.
He broke many regulations of school.
If he breaks any regulation,
I can kick him out.
When you have the roll call,
pay attention to him.
If he is late, we can kick him out.
Why Ace hasn't shown up yet?
We heard that Ace will be
kicked out even he's late.
Let's put him in deep shit!
Chase after him.
Okay!
You go there to block his way.
Yes!
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Roll call now, AL...
Alex!
Present!
Ace, your school bag.
Thank you!
Let's clap to welcome our new teacher.
Welcome...
Are you Alex?
Yes, everyone calls me Ace.
This is my 1st day here.
My name is Hou Shui Ken.
Don't be cheated by my outlook,
which is.
Cheerful, always with smile.
My nature is so cruel that.
I'll throw anyone who wants
to mess up out this classroom.
I want him hold a chair with his leg,
with a table on his back.
Stand out of the window.
Until the classes are over.
I won't give any mercy, understand?
Who dare to play single with me
means a group suicide.
Understand?
Hope I didn't scare you.
Literature class now,
turn to page 42.
This an article written by Hung Ming.
He is also called Chu Guo Leung.
Where are they?
Headmaster...
What's up?
I've lost.
Wallet?
Every new teachers
lose their wallets.
In the ladies toilet,
you can't find it here.
No! I haven't lost my wallet.
Any new trick?
But my students!
Hurry up!
You mean they disappeared?
They did disappear!
Be frank!
Tell headmaster!
Shut up, Ace, tell frankly.
Get up and tell.
He wrote something on the blackboard
and he left.
"I've dated Amy Yip on Monday,
and Frankie Chan on Tuesday."
"Undress on Wednesday,
touch her thigh on Thursday".
"Visit Mary's home on Friday,
I've no sex impulse on Saturday".
"But masturbate on Sunday".
What's your explanation?
None of my business.
I don't mean the content.
But you'd not teach English
in a Chinese class.
Don't do that again.
Be calm, we are here.
Where have you gone just then?
If we can stay in peace in future.
We'll never escape again,
what do you think?
Can I choose?
To express our sincerity,
we class A
will not fool you in 3 days.
But classes B C D E F are dangerous.
We can't help you.
Dangerous?
Good morning sir.
Morning!
My name is Hou Shui...
Hou Shui Ken.
What's wrong with him?
He maybe mad!
Don't you know bus is always full!
You'd bring your own seat
in case there is any, stupid.
Let's go, he's mad!
Good-bye Sir!
I suffered enough!
I won't be merciful!
This is the naughtiest class,
class H.
I've heard that the most shameless
and cheapest student here.
Is Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Come out.
I don't mean you 2.
Sit down!
I'm Arnold.
I'm Schwar.
I'm Zeneggar.
We are Arnold Schwarzeneggar.
No more bad behavior from now on.
Or you'll have so miserable ending.
It's so seriously hurt!
Am I seriously hurt? Yes or no.
Your glasses are seriously hurt,
not you.
I think I can use some eder
or copper 3.
Mix it and fix it,
and use silicon copper cleaner
to clean it.
Am I hurt? Serious or not?
I only know how to repair things,
I don't know how to repair man.
Are you okay?
You're strong life!
I'm Hou Shui Ken.
I'm Lam Moon-Shang.
I'm a Chemistry Teacher.
Moon-Shang!?
You can call me Dreamy,
I'm a P.E. Teacher.
I'm a Chemistry teacher.
I'm a full-subject teacher.
I'm a Chemistry teacher, I mean it.
The students said I've poor memory,
actually it's rumor.
I know you are Miss Hou,
you are Mr. Lam.
Don't you think I've sound memory?
What's your name?
My name...
Look at the I.D. First.
Where is my I.D. Card?
I guess I've forgot to apply
after I've lost.
Go and ask the student's your name.
Which class I'm teaching?
I have sound memory, you're Hou.
You are Lam, I've to ask someone now.
I'm a Chemistry, teacher.
How can he be a teacher?
This is a funny school!
How do you hurt?
I was fainted being thrown
by the student's school bag.
The students are naughty but...
They have good hearts.
Their native is cruel.
Teach them with love! We've the
responsibility to teach them.
I've bought you coke, Miss Lam.
Why not you take it?
I've walked a long way to buy it.
If you are thirsty,
go and buy yourself.
Okay, you drink it.
You must be thirsty, go and buy one.
I'm not! Why should I buy one?
If you're bleeding,
do you still feel thirsty?
Tell me, thirsty or not?
Mr. Chan Wai Ha.
Sir!
Mr. Hou is hurt,
you better substitute his class.
Me?
This is a Mathematics class.
I saw her first, don't court her,
she's mine.
Have a rest!
Do you understand?
No?
You are all creepers!
I had a quarrel with somebody once.
We wanted to fight,
we take out our weapons.
I killed 3 up there,
and 3 down there.
They burnt my club.
I burnt his karaoke.
Eventually, I destroyed this gang.
We were almost to fight,
but were all arrested.
Just few of us escaped
and had a duel.
Eventually, one was stayed alive.
Who is that guy?
I'm the one! Understand?
Bravo!
Thank you!
I'm here to substitute you.
Dear classmates,
he is your real head.
They are difficult to handle,
take you turn.
You'd pay me personally
if I substitute you again.
Okay!
See you!
My name is Hou Shui Ken.
I want to be growth and
learn together with you.
Here are some soft drinks,
have your time.
If you have any complaints, tell me.
Thank you!
You are welcome!
Thank you!
My pleasure.
Thank you sir!
Are you sick?
Nothing special, go on!
How are you?
I want to go to toilet.
Let me bring you to the medical room.
How are you?
Let me have a look.
Face me!
I've caught a cold.
Your hair finds a cockroach!
Cockroach?
Are you Kwan Tak Hing?
No, I'm Ng Siu Yuen.
You are Kwan Tak Ming!
Why you pretend as student?
I'm not!
You are!
I'm not!
You are Kwan Tak Hing!
No!
How dare you deny?
I'm not!
Why do you deny?
I'm not!
Why do you follow me?
Admit you are Kwan Tak Hing.
My name is Ng Sin Yuan.
Are you?
If you want to change my name,
ask my dad first.
3.
Dad!
Come and help...
Mr. Hou said my name is Kwan.
Are you her dad?
Yes I am!
I'm sure you are not!
How do you know that?
I'm her dad! We are alike!
Are you the informer Blackie Tai?
Yes... No...
Have some fishball, okay?
You are student, you are workman?
Yeah!
Come out...
I'll shout for help
if you don't let me go.
1, 2, 3.
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Mr. Lam.
What are you doing?
The man's toilet is over there.
I want to check the spelling
of the sign board.
Let's discuss it after school.
What are you starring?
Have you ever seen people smoking?
Never!
Never seen one smoked so secretly.
What are you talking about?
Are you new comer?
Don't he that cocky
when facing your big sister.
Are you big sister?
Didn't anyone tell you
when you paid the school fee?
I'm here to learn, but not,
to meet my sister or something.
Bitch!
Don't fight with me!
Why don't you salute to me?
Donate your money to me.
I'll kick you to the wall.
Cocky as you... Beat her.
Don't!
Anybody else?
How is it? Big sister?
I am the 2nd now.
Who is the eldest?
Sure you are.
Alright.
Sop that please.
You don't like it?
You don't like it either?
Blackie Tai!
What's up?
Stop pretending,
I'm the student of
the Super Scissors Legs.
If you don't tell me the truth.
I'll...
Don't!
Don't lie to me!
You can't burst my head
with your finger.
Are you sure?
No!
I stab...
Are you crazy?
You can't hurt me in this way.
Is Kwan Tak Hing your daughter?
No!
Are you informer Blackie Tai?
Yes... No!
I'm the dog of the aunt
of the God mother.
Of the admirer of the cousin
of the Queen's son.
I'm the bone of the mom of uncle of,
the brother of the wife of Hussin.
Dog eats bone.
You lazy bone!
I'm the inspector of
RHKP Hou Shui Ken.
Me too.
Black Tat, informer of RHKP.
Why don't you
tell me the truth just now?
You didn't tell the code.
Now, you are my informer.
Tell me why Kwan is your daughter?
Because I'm her informer too.
So you are under us?
I can't help! Commissioner
send you as under-cover.
Spider woman sends her
as under-cover.
You both want to achieve something,
then I'll be shit.
Pai, it's the gas pipe!
Don't mess up!
No wonder Hing brushed me off.
I'll go and talk to her now.
She is living with me!
I'll move in.
No way!
Why?
Who do you think I am?
Okay, move in as soon as possible.
No, he can't live here.
He is my informer,
the gov't pays him.
So I've to live here.
You identity now is my dad.
How can you let him move in?
Now you are my mom,
how can you let his bitch here?
No problem,
one is wolf, one is bitch.
Perfect couple!
I don't care,
if he stays here tomorrow.
I'll use suitable force...
What do you mean...
We are working for our own boss,
call me Inspector Kwan.
PC Hou Shui Ken!
Why do you look at the wine?
I try to quit it,
his will satisfy my need.
I'll be natural high
if a stare at it.
If I can smell it,
I'll be drunken, at once!
Really?
It's expensive! Don't stare so much!
I want to-get drunk
to cure my sorrow.
Do you really love her?
Why do you ask in such a direct way?
My wife is even more fierce than her.
But I can melt her with one stance.
Which one?
I'll embrace her, and kiss her.
Kiss her all over and melt her.
On the next morning,
she is so happy to see me.
Does it really work?
Sure! Come on!
Inspector Chow Sing Sing
used this thing.
To court his better hall.
Make good use of it,
she is a good girl.
Really?
You mouth stink?
You'd not use it in this way?
Poor sex knowledge!
She hits me!
She like torture?
I'll take you my whip, Walt!
To noisy!
I can't live without you.
I don't know how to live
if I lose you.
I want to stay with.
This one!
I told you smell it only.
You deserve it!
Have a bowl of congee.
Do you want salted egg?
Okay!
Why do you pull it
inside the salt bottle?
So it is salty! Come on!
Do you want bad smell bean cube?
I love that!
Why do you put in inside your shoe?
So it'll create bad smell.
Come on!
I've got preserved bean cube?
Preserved bean cube?
Yes!
What are you doing?
According to your theory,
you may put it here.
You are crazy!
Eat your congee!
Where is Hing?
She went to school early
in the morning.
Do you feel lonely? Siu Yuen.
Why not go to shopping? Disco?
My house is big...
Forget these bad eggs.
Come to my home tonight.
Let's have revision together.
You are the...
Worse of all!
I'm kidding!
Beat him!
She seems to be Ng Siu Yuen
of F.5 she is pretty.
And is welcomed by boys.
Bitchy! What a world!
It's no big deal!
Miss Lam, Mr. Hou!
She is courting teenagers.
She is teenager too,
puppy love is so simple.
Be open minded.
I am!
Stay out of my way.
No!
No birthmark!
Big sister!
How is it?
Nothing is discovered.
Who else will be our target?
Do you still want to challenge?
Sure!
Bye!
How is it?
He is coming.
Hey, Ace.
What?
Topless.
The target goes down!
Any birthmark?
No.
Get away, I'll check myself.
Who is Doggie then?
Tell sister now.
Big brother, what'll we do?
They've all gone.
Please give back my underwear.
Wash it frequently!
Ng Shi Yuen.
Miss Lam.
Mr. Hou said your skirt is too short.
Make it longer, okay?
Yes!
Who do you think you're?
Amy Yip or Yip Yuk Hing?
They are taking your advantage.
In order to get clue, we'd scarify.
But no sex sacrifice.
We've departed! You'd not bother me.
So, let's search our own affair.
That's sound great.
Miss Lam, I've 2 concert tickets.
Let's go tonight.
It's not good if the students see it.
It's you who asked me
to be open minded.
Do you like concert?
I have no tickets at all.
Who is it?
Who is it?
Who is it...
I've twisted my neck.
Why are you so seared?
Of course!
There is wolf of ass.
Almost every men is undressed
by them to have ass checked.
Are you scared?
Sure, I've a pure ass.
This is done by Hing and the girls.
They went to search for Doggie.
Don't touch me!
That's line.
But I mind it.
My poor girlfriend,
she sees different asses a day.
With different shapes,
round, square...
There is hair in between the flesh.
Maybe, there are plies.
With pus coming out.
That maybe yellow.
Don't keep the stuff
inside the stomach.
Vomit it!
I agree!
Sorry... l'm sorry!
Mr. Hou.
Miss Lam...
You'd help me this time.
Sure, Mr. Hou will do it.
And you, maybe
you'd scarily a little bit.
You can do it.
No way...
My tape for sex education is damaged.
So I'd like you 2 to demonstrate it,
okay?
Sex education? Okay?
Make up is needed.
No problem.
We've Mr.,
Hou to demonstrate to us.
Welcome, Mr. Hou.
Mr. Hou, come this way please.
When a boy is 13-14.
His sperms
are started to be produced.
The quantity is over billion.
They do this to prepare
for the next generation.
The shape of each sperm,
is like Mr. Hou now, with a tail.
The sperms can do
one thing in its life.
Swimming!
It wish to swim towards
the female organ.
Search the egg.
I swim...
A normal girl will produce,
one egg after each period.
That's it.
Billions of sperms swim
to their target.
They'll surround this egg.
I want to enter you.
Inspector, I'm sorry...
The Headmaster is out...
Maybe we'll arrange some time
for your visit, okay.
I love sudden Inspection.
The arranged Inspection
can show nothing.
When he 1st sperm swim near the egg.
The egg will spread its hair.
I want you.
Okay!
It's worth swimming so hardly!
Let's go!
When the sperm entered the egg.
It becomes a fertilized the egg.
A baby will be born after 40 weeks.
Hello!
The education Inspector
wants to ask what they are doing.
They are assisting me
to demonstrate sex education.
How can you do that?
I... You're too much!
Those kind should be scolded!
Once more!
See, you just benefit the others!
Luckily, I can control myself.
Hue Chi?
Our boss Mr. It wants to see you.
Doggie, long time no see.
How are you?
Ti Po Sham Martial Arts?
I haven't wasted my practice
all these years.
Bastard, you'd blame the God.
How dare you be the witness
to sue against me?
You can't go!
My statement is sufficient
enough to put you behind bars.
I've checked completely.
The haven't got the document
from your son yet.
I'll go H.K.
And kill your son tomorrow.
Then you'll meet your wife
and son in hell.
Madam, where is my uncle?
He is in the hospital.
Why?
Being too excited.
My God.
He's got a letter.
What is it?
Recommendation for
his early retirement.
From now on, I'm the in-charge.
Madam Chu...
Commissioner!
I'm busy,
I went to tell you a good news
and a bad one.
Tell me the good ones first.
You're done nothing after being
under-cover.
Now, you are dismissed
from this dangerous job.
Go to the Anti-vice Section now.
They want a wolf to trop the whores.
But I am busy!
Your job will be pasted
to Kwan Tak Hing.
Yes Madam!
Assisted by Blackie Tai.
Yes Madam!
Don't step in the school,
this is and order.
Doggie's dad is killed by the no.
One killer of Taiwan.
It Chun Tung.
I've got a clue that he is coming
to Hong Kong to kill Doggie.
You'd try harder to investigate.
Yes madam!
Madam, what's the bad news?
The nut, Mad Ball
whom is caught by you last month.
Has escaped from the hospital.
He wrote 14 words on the wall
before escape.
"I want to play
with that 4-eyes frog."
How about the rest?
The rest are lout language!
Are you 4-eyes frog? Take care.
Out!
Order a cup of tea and
toast before you are out.
You don't deserve it! Stupid!
I tell you, I quit now.
I won't give up me job
in St. Yok Keung School.
My identity is a teacher now.
I want to be a teacher.
So what?
Mr. Hou!
What are you doing?
Don't be that narrow minded!
I know you are suffering!
Do you treat me as friend?
Yes!
Friends should help each other.
You know?
Yes!
Lend me $3,000 for a whore okay?
Why do you hit me? Who are you?
He is our boss, Brother On.
Read my face carefully!
I'll beat you not only once.
I want you to come to the school
gate after school.
Kowtou to my brothers.
And join us.
If you don't.
I'll beat you whenever I see you.
You feel bored, don't you?
Ace hasn't attend school,
he hasn't apply for leave.
He must be late.
He has no more excuse!
He'd be kicked out of school.
Would that be any accident?
Never, please!
I hope he'd be kicked out,
that's okay!
I suggest, ask him to join our triad,
that's it.
Shut you mouth okay?
Headmaster, it's not fair
to treat Ace like that.
He is a small kid only.
You'd not talk like that.
We've our regulations.
Our head doesn't like him,
so he's be punished.
Super finger.
Do you want
to bend your finger again?
Headmaster...
How are you?
Stomach ache!
You are actually hurt by my finger.
Headmaster, give Ace one more chance.
At least you'd check the reason
of his late.
Once, okay?
Mr. Hou!
What's up?
What happened to Ace?
He fainted in front of the gate,
I picked him in.
You can tell immediately that
he was beaten.
I was beaten by Amold's boss.
I've told you to study only.
You'd not have been beaten
if you didn't go with the triads.
Ask his parents here
to stop his studentship.
I am orphan! My mom's dead.
There are many triad members
in this school.
He is a victim,
you'd not kick him out.
I'd set an example,
so as to remind the students.
Yes!
If I can amend
the behavior of the students.
Make them all be A grade students
in academic and conduct too.
So would you keep him here?
Your point is really good.
But don't be big month!
If I can not be successful.
I'll resign!
I'm on Mr. Hou's side.
I'm on your side, but in this case,
I can't help you.
I'll go to your side, Miss Lam.
We support you.
Okay, I'll give you one month.
If anyone of them can't get A grade.
I'll kick him out too.
Bravo!
Mr. Hou, you'd not have
treated me so good.
You are my student, I'll help you.
I'm afraid I can't live
though this evening.
Why?
On asked to stay behind after school.
He wants me to apologize to Arnold.
What? He is too cocky!
Don't worry, I'm here to help you.
I'll ask my boys to chop them.
You are not triad members now!
Yeah, what's I do?
I'll fix it!
You are no longer cop now,
don't be mad.
Uncle, I'm in the school now.
I'm down-graded,
don't mess up, okay?
I won't give up!
I want you to help me.
Boss, he asked a gang here.
Ace, what a good boy!
You brought so many brothers
to join my triad.
Kneel down and Kowtou to me now.
Each should pay me $3,333.
Are you talking to us?
Who do you think you are?
Turtle, mom is here.
Go home and dine, come on.
Mom, go back yourself,
I've some business to do.
How dare you be that cocky?
Beat his mom!
Don't...
Mom...
Don't beat her...
Mom, I dragged you down!
We've done our job.
Mister, don't threaten my boys
with such violence.
This is not legal,
not merciful and stupid.
Every society has it's regulation.
Do you know what you are talking?
Cantonese.
May I know your name, sir?
I'm 14 On!
Oh, Mr. Fourteen On!
Look at your look, is awful!
But I can see your kind-heart!
Let's settle it in peace.
Who hit me? Who did it?
There is betrayer!
It's me who hit you! All bull shit!
I'm the one responsible
for Ace's case.
If you feel mad,
you can light with me.
I won't give it a damn!
Bravo Mr. Chan.
See! The students
love Mr. Chan more than you.
Thin and short bastard, who are you?
Question me? I...
You're left the triad already.
I come from the YMCA, okay?
How dare you to cheat me! Beat him!
Teacher and students can fight!
Who can fight them?
Uncle!
What's it?
Super scissors legs!
Help!
If I save you, who'll save me?
Who is a triad member?
I am not!
I'm a small try only!
He deserves it!
Ace, melt it!
Go!
I've said, teacher and students
can't fight.
But my friends are different.
I'll burst your head.
Don't!
Apologize or not?
Okay, I'll apologize.
Brother Ace, I deserve it!
Forgive me.
Please forgive us, okay?
Get lost now!
Okay, I'll go!
Bravo!
I tell you,
the real triad won't
bully common people.
Only those rascals would
cheat students money.
You'd know what to do.
Yes!
We'd follow you.
What?
We are leaving!
They are the Kung Fu masters
in PC Training School.
I have to go to my class.
My super finger always fall!
I know it!
I've recorded it in a tape.
Listen it when you are free.
See you!
You'd practice
super finger concentrately.
Concentrate your air in your abdomen.
Where is it?
Under your navel.
Eyes look at nose, nose looks
at heart, heart looks at penis.
I can look at my penis with eyes
but not heart.
Don't answer back.
Concentrate your air to the finger,
and point.
I think you are successful now.
Congratulation!
But this tape
will explode 15 mins later.
Leave now!
Are you kidding?
Damn! I can't open it!
10... 9
I'm dying!
8, 7...
My God!
6, 5...
What are you doing?
Don't go in! It's dangerous!
Don't block my way! I'm in hurry!
Explode!
Mr. Chan!
Please help me, I'm painful!
Why do you wash your face here?
Damn!
I don't smoke, don't hit me!
Are you okay?
Continue!
Someone cheats!
Beat him!
You can't beat in this way!
But he cheats!
Fist is no use!
But use this hammer!
Damn!
Really?
I dare not cheat again!
Go to hell!
Do you dare?
Thank you!
Head Master!
You, this way, and you, that way.
You, here.
See you!
Be careful!
Okay!
This is your personal tape.
I made it for you.
But, nothing can be seen.
You understand?
I think I'd be rewarded and A.
I've got it! How about you?
Why not asking them?
What do you get?
Ace.
And you?
Thank you Headmaster.
What's it?
Ace.
Turtle.
Don't worry!
Headmaster.
What is it?
I've got it! How about you?
I decided
to keep you with our school.
Thank you!
That's good!
Maybe, there is a chance
to be promoted.
But you'd go through today.
Why?
Today is the last day of this month.
If no students break
the school regulation.
This can be effective.
I can guarantee,
no bad students in this school now.
We'd not be afraid of
any mischievous.
That's perfect.
Go to classroom now.
Be smart!
You are really great!
I feel successful!
I've promised to treat you a meal,
why not today?
I'll cook you a meal.
Okay!
What are you doing?
No, let's dine outside.
What are you doing?
Don't you trust me?
No!
I go and buy the soft drink,
do you want it?
Hing...
Hing...
Don't let the Headmaster see it,
or I'll be shit.
Do you agree with my suggestion?
Good! Where is Mr. Hou?
He is inside.
Shit!
Miss Lam's got good idea.
Really? What's it?
We'll arrange a party to celebrate
the improvement of the students.
Do you agree?
Perfect!
Miss Lam, you handle this.
Okay, bye!
Bye!
Do you like sun bathing in this way?
Yes, I'll get tan easily.
The students are really behaved!
We need no umbrella.
Because of your keen leadership.
What a sunny weather!
You'd get tan in this way.
I've told you I could easily get tan.
This way is sunny tool.
Try, this tomato fish.
Okay!
I think there is too much food.
Eggs are nutrious and delicious!
Those who'd never forget
the past would like this.
Dad, let's eat now.
I've it!
Come on!
I don't like fish.
Why don't you eat?
You give me because no one eats.
What are doing?
I've skeleton in my throat.
I'll fetch the vinegar.
Open your month.
It's too deep, I can't fetch it.
Why don't you take it?
Okay!
How are you? Are you okay?
Dad, I'm going
to eat the wontons noodle.
Hing...
How about the skeleton?
Are you okay? That's fine.
Someone is jealous.
You lied to me.
What?
You love your student.
No.
Stop lying!
Only woman understands woman.
I've discovered that
you are fond of me.
What? Really?
Only woman understands man.
As you say, woman knows everything.
Don't deny, I know what you think.
Yes, I've a little bit fond of you.
I discovered that
you are not a real teacher.
She isn't a real student.
Actually, I shouldn't tell you,
but I can trust you.
I was a cop, but now I'm not.
I hope you can keep
this secret for me.
Bye!
Sometimes, you'd choose.
I know.
He is a honest guy.
If he know my secret what he thinks.
Dreamy, you are the dream of all men.
But, I always remember the past.
She looks better.
It's only dreaming.
I see nothing!
What's it?
Nothing happened!
Nothing happened.
Fried eggs long live
It's yours, Mr. Chan!
Thank you!
Headmaster,
I know that the party
in the past forbided 4 steps.
Because those were bad students.
Tonight, you can dance what you like.
What a wonderful master!
If anyone goes against you.
I'll kill him!
I do want to dance with Miss Lam!
Old wolf!
This student is totally changed.
How amazing!
Get away!
Four eyes wolf!
Enjoy your chatting.
Are you still angry with me?
What a failure this time!
I can't find Doggie.
But I've found that
I am suitable to be teacher.
So, it's no big deal of
not finding Doggie.
I wish to get marry.
With whom?
Me?
No I want to marry with an Indian.
Indian?
Boys and girls!
Please keep quiet, please come here.
Now we'll play a game
called arresting the terrorists.
What are you doing?
Sir, what's the matter? Are you...
Are you hitting me?
My God Gun!
I just want you to co-operate!
I want to look for
a boy called Doggie.
There is a birth mark on his ass.
Doggie?
Who is the one responsible?
I'm the headmaster.
Don't hurt my students.
Okay, I'll hurt you instead.
Who is the one next to him.
He is!
He is!
Come out!
Go!
Who is Doggies? Come out!
I don't knows!
Even you know it, you won't tell!
You don't want me
to hurt you students?
No!
Why do you beat me?
Oh, it's you?
He is a cop!
We are cops too!
Oh, we'd not have to worry then.
Martial arts master?!
Ironic Stomach!
It Bo Sham Martial Arts...
Don't get mad.
You too.
It's you!
We are just this same.
But, I'm the undercover
of the opposite side.
Good done!
Miss Lam!
Kill them first.
Brother lt,
hand this guy to me, okay?
I just promised to investigate
but not kill.
You tricks me!
Go now! Go!
What'll we do now?
Go up and have a look first.
How is it?
The lines are cut.
Go now, we'll go out
to call the police.
No! I can go!
Don't go in, you'll be killed.
It's too dangerous
for me to save you.
I know you betrayed them for me.
I appreciated so much!
But I can't leave my fiancee alone.
Hope you'll understand me.
Where is Doggie?
Stupid!
Ace!
Mr. Hou!
How are you?
We are fine.
How are they?
The guy is mad, go now.
I can't leave you behind!
He's coming for me,
none of your business.
Go!
It's my business, I'm Doggie.
That's why you asked me
to show them my ass!
Sorry!
I don't want to see my dad,
so I hide my identity.
But I can't imagine
it's really a mess.
So you needn't hide yourself now.
You dad is killed.
Go! I know how to fix him.
Turtle, help me.
How?
I'll make them
enter the Chemistry tab.
Now is 8:53,
7 minutes to 9.
You press the bell, okay? Remember!
You want to cut the gas tube?
The bell rings,
they'll be killed by explosion.
How are you? Mr. Hou.
Fortune teller said
I'll have long life, I'll be fine.
Let's go!
Let's check our watches.
Okay!
I'll go and help.
Help Mr. Hou!
I'm here.
I'll be okay!
Kidding?
Let's go!
Don't shoot!
Where can you go?
Super finger! Watch out!
Don't bend my finger!
Don't! I don't like that!
We haven't finished
our game last time.
This time, we play in 5 bullets.
Why can't you smell the gas?
I can't help, it's because of you.
I'm sorry!
Never mind!
Let's play in 6 this time.
6?
There is only 10 more seconds
to the explosion.
Time is so limited!
Chemistry lab...
Which is chemistry lab
and which is Maths room?
Just 2 seconds left. I've to risk.
Not this one!
Let's talk in peace okay?
This one!
I made it!
Damn you Mad Ball!
Go to hell!
Eat shit now!
You are really great!
I don't want it actually!
You stupid!
Uncle Tai!
Where is Hou?
They are in the PE hall.
Call the police!
What else to you have?
He knows Ti Bo Sham Martial Arts.
Attack his heart and throat.
Attack him together!
American football.
I can't jump that high!
What'll I do now?
Attack his penis!
Hurry up!
Why that's no use?
Kidding?
You killed my father.
You are Doggie?!
Don't beat him, release him.
Kidding only!
Damn!
Let's bet our lives!
Super finger is much
more powerful than scissors legs.
Turtle.
Yes!
You words would become evidence.
Got it?
Are you okay?
Don't you think I'd be in trouble?
What are you starring?
Come and help! It's heavy!
Ace, don't just play.
Study hard I'll miss you.
See you!
I want to talk to you.
But I don't know where to start.
Go ahead!
You are too handsome! I love you.
Mr. Hou, in a hurry?!
Come on!
I'll wait!
Madam!
I decided to promote
you as Chief Inspector.
You can resume duty now.
Thank you madam.
But I don't think it suits me.
What'll suit you then?
They'll do.
I want to be teacher.
Because I'll feel successful
if I can make them good.
Sorry madam!
I'm back!
Bravo! Hurray!
Your boyfriend is useless,
don't marry him.
Or you'll be in deep shit.
Open the door.
Yes madam!
Wait!
Madam...
My uncle has one thing in mind
but he's never done this.
What's it?
That's...
How can you milk?
Jing's Prod. Ltd.
Named "School Commandos".
Starring?
Who is the art director?
Our director is...
Fatly!
Our director is...
The handsome, smart, artiste...
Mr. Wong Jing!
Commissioner!
What's on?
2 men and a woman, 3 thieves inside.
They have strong arms,
one of the thieves,
called Mad Ball, he is really mad!
Did you call the Special Unit?
Yes!
Negotiation expert?
Yes!
Who'll come?
Big Mouth Ken!
Shit! Anybody else?
Commissioner, he is your nephew.
That's shit!
Give me the bullet proof vest.
Yes Sir!
Merciful God, please give me power.
To let the thieves surrender
automatically.
I've been a negotiation expert
for quite a long time.
But I've done none successful case.
God, please let me make one case
successfully, okay?
Ken!
Uncle!
Be smart! If you mess up again.
That Spider woman
will attack me again.
She is under you!
Why'd you be afraid of her?
But some female Legisco members
support her.
Said she is
the tight of women in police,
she wants my post.
That's shit!
Commissioner Wong, the vest.
Your mom asked me
to take care of you before she died.
Wear it! You've one life only.
Where is mine?
Sorry, we've only one left.
Uncle!
You are young and smart!
Youth'd lake risk.
So as to train him to smart
and successful.
Are you scared?
Don't be afraid,
the God will protect you.
Stop! Bullet's no big deal!
Uncle!
The light of woman.
Spider woman!
Why you are wet in such cold weather?
It's small case,
since you're too old.
Why not take a rest at home?
Calm down...
Since she is woman!
Or I'll chop them out.
So she can't milk!
Asking me?
Where have you last night?
Why didn't you call me?
To play mahjong!
You've used 5 minutes to answer!
Cunning you!
Who did you play with?
Turtle, Bull, and chicken.
You answer so fast! You must
have recited it several times.
Win or lose?
I've lost $200.
I give you $300
as pocket money per month.
How can you lose $200
by the end of the month?
You must have kept a lot with you.
It's my red pocket money.
Well, give me $1,000 more
for saving staring from next month.
What?
You can refuse,
I can refuse to marry you too.
The people inside listen!
I'm the liaison expert
from the Police Dept.
I'm sincere.
I want to enter and talk to you.
You are surrounded by us,
you have no way out.
If you don't surrender,
you'll be dead meal.
Ken, save the hostages.
What?
You are nearest to them.
Save the hostage.
Yes Madam!
Miss...
Don't move.
Don't move, don't get closed.
Be careful of me!
Go in!
How dare you hurt my wife?
None of my business.
I can tell you are telling lies
from your eyes.
My eyes itch!
Undress!
You can beat me!
But you have no reason to rape me!
Bottle playing!
We are playing - Russian Roulette.
I'll shoot
whom with a pointed bottle.
One, two!
Three!
Let's play in 3!
Three?
May I be excused?
I'll add one more.
What?
You and 1, 2 men, we've 4 together.
No!
I've got one only.
I've 3 then.
Don't!
Are you happy?
No!
I'm painful!
Let's play six this time!
No! I've to play, I'm not satisfied!
Wait for me, I'll be back.
Wait for me!
Don't point at me...
How are you? Are you okay?
You kill him!
Uncle, mom asked you
to take care of me.
Sure, I'm doing what she instructed.
I'm not asking you
to be undercover cop.
But to be an undercover in school,
to act as teacher.
What should I do?
To investigate the triads?
The students!
A Taiwan kid, nicked named Doggie.
Raise your legs.
Yes!
I see! You practice
your scissors legs in this way.
Nosy!
I'll break your head!
The kid's dad, Blackie Ko is
an VIP in Taiwan Triad Society.
Recently, he promised to co-operate
with the cops.
To change against 2 triad heads,
but the evidence is taken
by his ex-wife.
Search his ex-wife then.
She died 3 months ago
in a car accident.
Maybe, his son will know it.
So search his son.
But the kid hates his dad so much.
He deny knowing Blackie.
I've found some clue that.
He may be a student in
St. Yoke Keung High School.
How he looks like?
His dad can't even recognize him
by that picture.
He was 7 when his dad last saw him.
Now, he is 17 years old.
The only thing to be recognized.
Is a birthmark,
a dog shape on the ass.
But I've got some information.
Taiwan triads are coming
to assassinate him.
So we must search Doggie first.
It's so difficult for me!
Spider woman is pushing me!
If you can't find him,
I'll put you in deep shit.
I'm afraid I'm not capable.
Well, I'll teach you my Kung-fu.
My most powerful kung-fu
is not scissors legs.
But Super Palms, right?
No! I've to play, I'm not satisfied!
Super finger!
Super finger?
This is no big deal.
You can do it.
My sole finger can support
my whole body.
If you can move the glass
with one finger.
You are successful!
To be an undercover,
I'd keep the secret.
But I've to report
to Hing 3 times a day.
You'd brush that sharp
longued woman off.
We've been together for 3 years!
3 years? Have you had sex?
No!
You can't spoil them!
What are you chatting?
Is my bra ready?
Sure! I want to Iron more
to make it softer.
So you'll feel more comfortable.
Let's separate.
Why do you cry?
It's useless, you know?
Calm down!
Why do you kneel down?
The passengers are looking,
are you kidding?
Don't pull my trousers,
I'll hit you, I swear!
Go to hell!
Stop it!
Am I cool enough?
You are cold blooded!
If I walk away right
after talking to her.
She'll cry terribly.
Please help me, watch over her.
I'm afraid she'd jump and suicide.
It's so difficult for me!
Okay, I know how.
She is coming.
I've something to tell you.
Go ahead!
Let's separate!
What?
I said... let's separate.
Why don't you stop it?
I am telling you.
We separate now.
Why?
It's no use for you to cry!
We'd keep calm.
I don't want to be calm.
No...
Don't leave me, don't!
Don't pull my legs!
Don't leave me!
Let go of me, hurry up!
No! I won't.
I'll kick you away, I swear!
No!
Get lost!
Don't leave me...
I'll die in front of you!
I'm going to die!
Don't! Calm down!
Get lost! Leave me alone!
Pal, don't suicide.
She brushed me off!
Since my affair is over.
I'd try very hard
and get success in my career.
I want to be a successful man.
I'll try very hard.
Work very hard.
I scare nothing.
I want to be a successful...
Teacher!
None of your business!
Are you the new teacher?
What's up?
Are you the teacher of his school?
I suppose to be!
That's great!
I'm new!
If anything wrong in the past.
Don't blame me!
That's really great!
I don't know how to fix it!
Please help me.
That's no big deal!
Thank you!
I'm new too!
Have you gone to a wrong place?
No! Am I like a teacher?
Yes!
The gov't sent us here.
I've my triad record clean.
I join the society
by the help of the gov't.
To work in some decent field!
Education, that's it.
We are ordinary citizens!
Yeah...
Which subject will you teach!
Look at me, I'm smart in...
Negotiation, oh, no.
I teach legal education, EPA.
I can't even stand
a mosquito in front of me.
That means,
I can't stand any bad student.
In my school.
Since you 2 join as teachers.
You're the responsibility
to fix the school discipline.
No problem.
If any of them doesn't follow
our instruction.
I'll beat that damn bastard.
Frame the damn boys and.
Rape the dame students.
Is that right?
Mr. Chan,
would you use civilized terms?
Well, if they don't follow
our instruction.
Let's use a bag to tie them in.
Teach them good lesson
with baseball bat.
And then, frame him, lastly.
We'd in order, one by one.
Have intercourse with them, please!
As it civilized enough?
But, in our school!
No one is bad student.
But all are bad students.
They are all rubbish.
All rotten students
are gathered here.
Two new teachers are here.
Let's enjoy another war.
Great!
Get ready!
In this semester,
a fierce war is going to start.
Listened?
What's the matter?
Damn...
I'm deal!
What did he say?
Why do you take an umbrella
in such sunny day?
This is a bridge between
the students and teachers.
What's is it?
You use the umbrella as bridge
to cross the river.
When you walk out,
take your umbrella, turn right here.
Jump after 3 steps.
Bend down now!
Why don't you warm me before hand?
You'll remember very well now, right?
You'd pay more attention.
Especially a boy called Ace.
He broke many regulations of school.
If he breaks any regulation,
I can kick him out.
When you have the roll call,
pay attention to him.
If he is late, we can kick him out.
Why Ace hasn't shown up yet?
We heard that Ace will be
kicked out even he's late.
Let's put him in deep shit!
Chase after him.
Okay!
You go there to block his way.
Yes!
5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
Roll call now, AL...
Alex!
Present!
Ace, your school bag.
Thank you!
Let's clap to welcome our new teacher.
Welcome...
Are you Alex?
Yes, everyone calls me Ace.
This is my 1st day here.
My name is Hou Shui Ken.
Don't be cheated by my outlook,
which is.
Cheerful, always with smile.
My nature is so cruel that.
I'll throw anyone who wants
to mess up out this classroom.
I want him hold a chair with his leg,
with a table on his back.
Stand out of the window.
Until the classes are over.
I won't give any mercy, understand?
Who dare to play single with me
means a group suicide.
Understand?
Hope I didn't scare you.
Literature class now,
turn to page 42.
This an article written by Hung Ming.
He is also called Chu Guo Leung.
Where are they?
Headmaster...
What's up?
I've lost.
Wallet?
Every new teachers
lose their wallets.
In the ladies toilet,
you can't find it here.
No! I haven't lost my wallet.
Any new trick?
But my students!
Hurry up!
You mean they disappeared?
They did disappear!
Be frank!
Tell headmaster!
Shut up, Ace, tell frankly.
Get up and tell.
He wrote something on the blackboard
and he left.
"I've dated Amy Yip on Monday,
and Frankie Chan on Tuesday."
"Undress on Wednesday,
touch her thigh on Thursday".
"Visit Mary's home on Friday,
I've no sex impulse on Saturday".
"But masturbate on Sunday".
What's your explanation?
None of my business.
I don't mean the content.
But you'd not teach English
in a Chinese class.
Don't do that again.
Be calm, we are here.
Where have you gone just then?
If we can stay in peace in future.
We'll never escape again,
what do you think?
Can I choose?
To express our sincerity,
we class A
will not fool you in 3 days.
But classes B C D E F are dangerous.
We can't help you.
Dangerous?
Good morning sir.
Morning!
My name is Hou Shui...
Hou Shui Ken.
What's wrong with him?
He maybe mad!
Don't you know bus is always full!
You'd bring your own seat
in case there is any, stupid.
Let's go, he's mad!
Good-bye Sir!
I suffered enough!
I won't be merciful!
This is the naughtiest class,
class H.
I've heard that the most shameless
and cheapest student here.
Is Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Come out.
I don't mean you 2.
Sit down!
I'm Arnold.
I'm Schwar.
I'm Zeneggar.
We are Arnold Schwarzeneggar.
No more bad behavior from now on.
Or you'll have so miserable ending.
It's so seriously hurt!
Am I seriously hurt? Yes or no.
Your glasses are seriously hurt,
not you.
I think I can use some eder
or copper 3.
Mix it and fix it,
and use silicon copper cleaner
to clean it.
Am I hurt? Serious or not?
I only know how to repair things,
I don't know how to repair man.
Are you okay?
You're strong life!
I'm Hou Shui Ken.
I'm Lam Moon-Shang.
I'm a Chemistry Teacher.
Moon-Shang!?
You can call me Dreamy,
I'm a P.E. Teacher.
I'm a Chemistry teacher.
I'm a full-subject teacher.
I'm a Chemistry teacher, I mean it.
The students said I've poor memory,
actually it's rumor.
I know you are Miss Hou,
you are Mr. Lam.
Don't you think I've sound memory?
What's your name?
My name...
Look at the I.D. First.
Where is my I.D. Card?
I guess I've forgot to apply
after I've lost.
Go and ask the student's your name.
Which class I'm teaching?
I have sound memory, you're Hou.
You are Lam, I've to ask someone now.
I'm a Chemistry, teacher.
How can he be a teacher?
This is a funny school!
How do you hurt?
I was fainted being thrown
by the student's school bag.
The students are naughty but...
They have good hearts.
Their native is cruel.
Teach them with love! We've the
responsibility to teach them.
I've bought you coke, Miss Lam.
Why not you take it?
I've walked a long way to buy it.
If you are thirsty,
go and buy yourself.
Okay, you drink it.
You must be thirsty, go and buy one.
I'm not! Why should I buy one?
If you're bleeding,
do you still feel thirsty?
Tell me, thirsty or not?
Mr. Chan Wai Ha.
Sir!
Mr. Hou is hurt,
you better substitute his class.
Me?
This is a Mathematics class.
I saw her first, don't court her,
she's mine.
Have a rest!
Do you understand?
No?
You are all creepers!
I had a quarrel with somebody once.
We wanted to fight,
we take out our weapons.
I killed 3 up there,
and 3 down there.
They burnt my club.
I burnt his karaoke.
Eventually, I destroyed this gang.
We were almost to fight,
but were all arrested.
Just few of us escaped
and had a duel.
Eventually, one was stayed alive.
Who is that guy?
I'm the one! Understand?
Bravo!
Thank you!
I'm here to substitute you.
Dear classmates,
he is your real head.
They are difficult to handle,
take you turn.
You'd pay me personally
if I substitute you again.
Okay!
See you!
My name is Hou Shui Ken.
I want to be growth and
learn together with you.
Here are some soft drinks,
have your time.
If you have any complaints, tell me.
Thank you!
You are welcome!
Thank you!
My pleasure.
Thank you sir!
Are you sick?
Nothing special, go on!
How are you?
I want to go to toilet.
Let me bring you to the medical room.
How are you?
Let me have a look.
Face me!
I've caught a cold.
Your hair finds a cockroach!
Cockroach?
Are you Kwan Tak Hing?
No, I'm Ng Siu Yuen.
You are Kwan Tak Ming!
Why you pretend as student?
I'm not!
You are!
I'm not!
You are Kwan Tak Hing!
No!
How dare you deny?
I'm not!
Why do you deny?
I'm not!
Why do you follow me?
Admit you are Kwan Tak Hing.
My name is Ng Sin Yuan.
Are you?
If you want to change my name,
ask my dad first.
3.
Dad!
Come and help...
Mr. Hou said my name is Kwan.
Are you her dad?
Yes I am!
I'm sure you are not!
How do you know that?
I'm her dad! We are alike!
Are you the informer Blackie Tai?
Yes... No...
Have some fishball, okay?
You are student, you are workman?
Yeah!
Come out...
I'll shout for help
if you don't let me go.
1, 2, 3.
4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Mr. Lam.
What are you doing?
The man's toilet is over there.
I want to check the spelling
of the sign board.
Let's discuss it after school.
What are you starring?
Have you ever seen people smoking?
Never!
Never seen one smoked so secretly.
What are you talking about?
Are you new comer?
Don't he that cocky
when facing your big sister.
Are you big sister?
Didn't anyone tell you
when you paid the school fee?
I'm here to learn, but not,
to meet my sister or something.
Bitch!
Don't fight with me!
Why don't you salute to me?
Donate your money to me.
I'll kick you to the wall.
Cocky as you... Beat her.
Don't!
Anybody else?
How is it? Big sister?
I am the 2nd now.
Who is the eldest?
Sure you are.
Alright.
Sop that please.
You don't like it?
You don't like it either?
Blackie Tai!
What's up?
Stop pretending,
I'm the student of
the Super Scissors Legs.
If you don't tell me the truth.
I'll...
Don't!
Don't lie to me!
You can't burst my head
with your finger.
Are you sure?
No!
I stab...
Are you crazy?
You can't hurt me in this way.
Is Kwan Tak Hing your daughter?
No!
Are you informer Blackie Tai?
Yes... No!
I'm the dog of the aunt
of the God mother.
Of the admirer of the cousin
of the Queen's son.
I'm the bone of the mom of uncle of,
the brother of the wife of Hussin.
Dog eats bone.
You lazy bone!
I'm the inspector of
RHKP Hou Shui Ken.
Me too.
Black Tat, informer of RHKP.
Why don't you
tell me the truth just now?
You didn't tell the code.
Now, you are my informer.
Tell me why Kwan is your daughter?
Because I'm her informer too.
So you are under us?
I can't help! Commissioner
send you as under-cover.
Spider woman sends her
as under-cover.
You both want to achieve something,
then I'll be shit.
Pai, it's the gas pipe!
Don't mess up!
No wonder Hing brushed me off.
I'll go and talk to her now.
She is living with me!
I'll move in.
No way!
Why?
Who do you think I am?
Okay, move in as soon as possible.
No, he can't live here.
He is my informer,
the gov't pays him.
So I've to live here.
You identity now is my dad.
How can you let him move in?
Now you are my mom,
how can you let his bitch here?
No problem,
one is wolf, one is bitch.
Perfect couple!
I don't care,
if he stays here tomorrow.
I'll use suitable force...
What do you mean...
We are working for our own boss,
call me Inspector Kwan.
PC Hou Shui Ken!
Why do you look at the wine?
I try to quit it,
his will satisfy my need.
I'll be natural high
if a stare at it.
If I can smell it,
I'll be drunken, at once!
Really?
It's expensive! Don't stare so much!
I want to-get drunk
to cure my sorrow.
Do you really love her?
Why do you ask in such a direct way?
My wife is even more fierce than her.
But I can melt her with one stance.
Which one?
I'll embrace her, and kiss her.
Kiss her all over and melt her.
On the next morning,
she is so happy to see me.
Does it really work?
Sure! Come on!
Inspector Chow Sing Sing
used this thing.
To court his better hall.
Make good use of it,
she is a good girl.
Really?
You mouth stink?
You'd not use it in this way?
Poor sex knowledge!
She hits me!
She like torture?
I'll take you my whip, Walt!
To noisy!
I can't live without you.
I don't know how to live
if I lose you.
I want to stay with.
This one!
I told you smell it only.
You deserve it!
Have a bowl of congee.
Do you want salted egg?
Okay!
Why do you pull it
inside the salt bottle?
So it is salty! Come on!
Do you want bad smell bean cube?
I love that!
Why do you put in inside your shoe?
So it'll create bad smell.
Come on!
I've got preserved bean cube?
Preserved bean cube?
Yes!
What are you doing?
According to your theory,
you may put it here.
You are crazy!
Eat your congee!
Where is Hing?
She went to school early
in the morning.
Do you feel lonely? Siu Yuen.
Why not go to shopping? Disco?
My house is big...
Forget these bad eggs.
Come to my home tonight.
Let's have revision together.
You are the...
Worse of all!
I'm kidding!
Beat him!
She seems to be Ng Siu Yuen
of F.5 she is pretty.
And is welcomed by boys.
Bitchy! What a world!
It's no big deal!
Miss Lam, Mr. Hou!
She is courting teenagers.
She is teenager too,
puppy love is so simple.
Be open minded.
I am!
Stay out of my way.
No!
No birthmark!
Big sister!
How is it?
Nothing is discovered.
Who else will be our target?
Do you still want to challenge?
Sure!
Bye!
How is it?
He is coming.
Hey, Ace.
What?
Topless.
The target goes down!
Any birthmark?
No.
Get away, I'll check myself.
Who is Doggie then?
Tell sister now.
Big brother, what'll we do?
They've all gone.
Please give back my underwear.
Wash it frequently!
Ng Shi Yuen.
Miss Lam.
Mr. Hou said your skirt is too short.
Make it longer, okay?
Yes!
Who do you think you're?
Amy Yip or Yip Yuk Hing?
They are taking your advantage.
In order to get clue, we'd scarify.
But no sex sacrifice.
We've departed! You'd not bother me.
So, let's search our own affair.
That's sound great.
Miss Lam, I've 2 concert tickets.
Let's go tonight.
It's not good if the students see it.
It's you who asked me
to be open minded.
Do you like concert?
I have no tickets at all.
Who is it?
Who is it?
Who is it...
I've twisted my neck.
Why are you so seared?
Of course!
There is wolf of ass.
Almost every men is undressed
by them to have ass checked.
Are you scared?
Sure, I've a pure ass.
This is done by Hing and the girls.
They went to search for Doggie.
Don't touch me!
That's line.
But I mind it.
My poor girlfriend,
she sees different asses a day.
With different shapes,
round, square...
There is hair in between the flesh.
Maybe, there are plies.
With pus coming out.
That maybe yellow.
Don't keep the stuff
inside the stomach.
Vomit it!
I agree!
Sorry... l'm sorry!
Mr. Hou.
Miss Lam...
You'd help me this time.
Sure, Mr. Hou will do it.
And you, maybe
you'd scarily a little bit.
You can do it.
No way...
My tape for sex education is damaged.
So I'd like you 2 to demonstrate it,
okay?
Sex education? Okay?
Make up is needed.
No problem.
We've Mr.,
Hou to demonstrate to us.
Welcome, Mr. Hou.
Mr. Hou, come this way please.
When a boy is 13-14.
His sperms
are started to be produced.
The quantity is over billion.
They do this to prepare
for the next generation.
The shape of each sperm,
is like Mr. Hou now, with a tail.
The sperms can do
one thing in its life.
Swimming!
It wish to swim towards
the female organ.
Search the egg.
I swim...
A normal girl will produce,
one egg after each period.
That's it.
Billions of sperms swim
to their target.
They'll surround this egg.
I want to enter you.
Inspector, I'm sorry...
The Headmaster is out...
Maybe we'll arrange some time
for your visit, okay.
I love sudden Inspection.
The arranged Inspection
can show nothing.
When he 1st sperm swim near the egg.
The egg will spread its hair.
I want you.
Okay!
It's worth swimming so hardly!
Let's go!
When the sperm entered the egg.
It becomes a fertilized the egg.
A baby will be born after 40 weeks.
Hello!
The education Inspector
wants to ask what they are doing.
They are assisting me
to demonstrate sex education.
How can you do that?
I... You're too much!
Those kind should be scolded!
Once more!
See, you just benefit the others!
Luckily, I can control myself.
Hue Chi?
Our boss Mr. It wants to see you.
Doggie, long time no see.
How are you?
Ti Po Sham Martial Arts?
I haven't wasted my practice
all these years.
Bastard, you'd blame the God.
How dare you be the witness
to sue against me?
You can't go!
My statement is sufficient
enough to put you behind bars.
I've checked completely.
The haven't got the document
from your son yet.
I'll go H.K.
And kill your son tomorrow.
Then you'll meet your wife
and son in hell.
Madam, where is my uncle?
He is in the hospital.
Why?
Being too excited.
My God.
He's got a letter.
What is it?
Recommendation for
his early retirement.
From now on, I'm the in-charge.
Madam Chu...
Commissioner!
I'm busy,
I went to tell you a good news
and a bad one.
Tell me the good ones first.
You're done nothing after being
under-cover.
Now, you are dismissed
from this dangerous job.
Go to the Anti-vice Section now.
They want a wolf to trop the whores.
But I am busy!
Your job will be pasted
to Kwan Tak Hing.
Yes Madam!
Assisted by Blackie Tai.
Yes Madam!
Don't step in the school,
this is and order.
Doggie's dad is killed by the no.
One killer of Taiwan.
It Chun Tung.
I've got a clue that he is coming
to Hong Kong to kill Doggie.
You'd try harder to investigate.
Yes madam!
Madam, what's the bad news?
The nut, Mad Ball
whom is caught by you last month.
Has escaped from the hospital.
He wrote 14 words on the wall
before escape.
"I want to play
with that 4-eyes frog."
How about the rest?
The rest are lout language!
Are you 4-eyes frog? Take care.
Out!
Order a cup of tea and
toast before you are out.
You don't deserve it! Stupid!
I tell you, I quit now.
I won't give up me job
in St. Yok Keung School.
My identity is a teacher now.
I want to be a teacher.
So what?
Mr. Hou!
What are you doing?
Don't be that narrow minded!
I know you are suffering!
Do you treat me as friend?
Yes!
Friends should help each other.
You know?
Yes!
Lend me $3,000 for a whore okay?
Why do you hit me? Who are you?
He is our boss, Brother On.
Read my face carefully!
I'll beat you not only once.
I want you to come to the school
gate after school.
Kowtou to my brothers.
And join us.
If you don't.
I'll beat you whenever I see you.
You feel bored, don't you?
Ace hasn't attend school,
he hasn't apply for leave.
He must be late.
He has no more excuse!
He'd be kicked out of school.
Would that be any accident?
Never, please!
I hope he'd be kicked out,
that's okay!
I suggest, ask him to join our triad,
that's it.
Shut you mouth okay?
Headmaster, it's not fair
to treat Ace like that.
He is a small kid only.
You'd not talk like that.
We've our regulations.
Our head doesn't like him,
so he's be punished.
Super finger.
Do you want
to bend your finger again?
Headmaster...
How are you?
Stomach ache!
You are actually hurt by my finger.
Headmaster, give Ace one more chance.
At least you'd check the reason
of his late.
Once, okay?
Mr. Hou!
What's up?
What happened to Ace?
He fainted in front of the gate,
I picked him in.
You can tell immediately that
he was beaten.
I was beaten by Amold's boss.
I've told you to study only.
You'd not have been beaten
if you didn't go with the triads.
Ask his parents here
to stop his studentship.
I am orphan! My mom's dead.
There are many triad members
in this school.
He is a victim,
you'd not kick him out.
I'd set an example,
so as to remind the students.
Yes!
If I can amend
the behavior of the students.
Make them all be A grade students
in academic and conduct too.
So would you keep him here?
Your point is really good.
But don't be big month!
If I can not be successful.
I'll resign!
I'm on Mr. Hou's side.
I'm on your side, but in this case,
I can't help you.
I'll go to your side, Miss Lam.
We support you.
Okay, I'll give you one month.
If anyone of them can't get A grade.
I'll kick him out too.
Bravo!
Mr. Hou, you'd not have
treated me so good.
You are my student, I'll help you.
I'm afraid I can't live
though this evening.
Why?
On asked to stay behind after school.
He wants me to apologize to Arnold.
What? He is too cocky!
Don't worry, I'm here to help you.
I'll ask my boys to chop them.
You are not triad members now!
Yeah, what's I do?
I'll fix it!
You are no longer cop now,
don't be mad.
Uncle, I'm in the school now.
I'm down-graded,
don't mess up, okay?
I won't give up!
I want you to help me.
Boss, he asked a gang here.
Ace, what a good boy!
You brought so many brothers
to join my triad.
Kneel down and Kowtou to me now.
Each should pay me $3,333.
Are you talking to us?
Who do you think you are?
Turtle, mom is here.
Go home and dine, come on.
Mom, go back yourself,
I've some business to do.
How dare you be that cocky?
Beat his mom!
Don't...
Mom...
Don't beat her...
Mom, I dragged you down!
We've done our job.
Mister, don't threaten my boys
with such violence.
This is not legal,
not merciful and stupid.
Every society has it's regulation.
Do you know what you are talking?
Cantonese.
May I know your name, sir?
I'm 14 On!
Oh, Mr. Fourteen On!
Look at your look, is awful!
But I can see your kind-heart!
Let's settle it in peace.
Who hit me? Who did it?
There is betrayer!
It's me who hit you! All bull shit!
I'm the one responsible
for Ace's case.
If you feel mad,
you can light with me.
I won't give it a damn!
Bravo Mr. Chan.
See! The students
love Mr. Chan more than you.
Thin and short bastard, who are you?
Question me? I...
You're left the triad already.
I come from the YMCA, okay?
How dare you to cheat me! Beat him!
Teacher and students can fight!
Who can fight them?
Uncle!
What's it?
Super scissors legs!
Help!
If I save you, who'll save me?
Who is a triad member?
I am not!
I'm a small try only!
He deserves it!
Ace, melt it!
Go!
I've said, teacher and students
can't fight.
But my friends are different.
I'll burst your head.
Don't!
Apologize or not?
Okay, I'll apologize.
Brother Ace, I deserve it!
Forgive me.
Please forgive us, okay?
Get lost now!
Okay, I'll go!
Bravo!
I tell you,
the real triad won't
bully common people.
Only those rascals would
cheat students money.
You'd know what to do.
Yes!
We'd follow you.
What?
We are leaving!
They are the Kung Fu masters
in PC Training School.
I have to go to my class.
My super finger always fall!
I know it!
I've recorded it in a tape.
Listen it when you are free.
See you!
You'd practice
super finger concentrately.
Concentrate your air in your abdomen.
Where is it?
Under your navel.
Eyes look at nose, nose looks
at heart, heart looks at penis.
I can look at my penis with eyes
but not heart.
Don't answer back.
Concentrate your air to the finger,
and point.
I think you are successful now.
Congratulation!
But this tape
will explode 15 mins later.
Leave now!
Are you kidding?
Damn! I can't open it!
10... 9
I'm dying!
8, 7...
My God!
6, 5...
What are you doing?
Don't go in! It's dangerous!
Don't block my way! I'm in hurry!
Explode!
Mr. Chan!
Please help me, I'm painful!
Why do you wash your face here?
Damn!
I don't smoke, don't hit me!
Are you okay?
Continue!
Someone cheats!
Beat him!
You can't beat in this way!
But he cheats!
Fist is no use!
But use this hammer!
Damn!
Really?
I dare not cheat again!
Go to hell!
Do you dare?
Thank you!
Head Master!
You, this way, and you, that way.
You, here.
See you!
Be careful!
Okay!
This is your personal tape.
I made it for you.
But, nothing can be seen.
You understand?
I think I'd be rewarded and A.
I've got it! How about you?
Why not asking them?
What do you get?
Ace.
And you?
Thank you Headmaster.
What's it?
Ace.
Turtle.
Don't worry!
Headmaster.
What is it?
I've got it! How about you?
I decided
to keep you with our school.
Thank you!
That's good!
Maybe, there is a chance
to be promoted.
But you'd go through today.
Why?
Today is the last day of this month.
If no students break
the school regulation.
This can be effective.
I can guarantee,
no bad students in this school now.
We'd not be afraid of
any mischievous.
That's perfect.
Go to classroom now.
Be smart!
You are really great!
I feel successful!
I've promised to treat you a meal,
why not today?
I'll cook you a meal.
Okay!
What are you doing?
No, let's dine outside.
What are you doing?
Don't you trust me?
No!
I go and buy the soft drink,
do you want it?
Hing...
Hing...
Don't let the Headmaster see it,
or I'll be shit.
Do you agree with my suggestion?
Good! Where is Mr. Hou?
He is inside.
Shit!
Miss Lam's got good idea.
Really? What's it?
We'll arrange a party to celebrate
the improvement of the students.
Do you agree?
Perfect!
Miss Lam, you handle this.
Okay, bye!
Bye!
Do you like sun bathing in this way?
Yes, I'll get tan easily.
The students are really behaved!
We need no umbrella.
Because of your keen leadership.
What a sunny weather!
You'd get tan in this way.
I've told you I could easily get tan.
This way is sunny tool.
Try, this tomato fish.
Okay!
I think there is too much food.
Eggs are nutrious and delicious!
Those who'd never forget
the past would like this.
Dad, let's eat now.
I've it!
Come on!
I don't like fish.
Why don't you eat?
You give me because no one eats.
What are doing?
I've skeleton in my throat.
I'll fetch the vinegar.
Open your month.
It's too deep, I can't fetch it.
Why don't you take it?
Okay!
How are you? Are you okay?
Dad, I'm going
to eat the wontons noodle.
Hing...
How about the skeleton?
Are you okay? That's fine.
Someone is jealous.
You lied to me.
What?
You love your student.
No.
Stop lying!
Only woman understands woman.
I've discovered that
you are fond of me.
What? Really?
Only woman understands man.
As you say, woman knows everything.
Don't deny, I know what you think.
Yes, I've a little bit fond of you.
I discovered that
you are not a real teacher.
She isn't a real student.
Actually, I shouldn't tell you,
but I can trust you.
I was a cop, but now I'm not.
I hope you can keep
this secret for me.
Bye!
Sometimes, you'd choose.
I know.
He is a honest guy.
If he know my secret what he thinks.
Dreamy, you are the dream of all men.
But, I always remember the past.
She looks better.
It's only dreaming.
I see nothing!
What's it?
Nothing happened!
Nothing happened.
Fried eggs long live
It's yours, Mr. Chan!
Thank you!
Headmaster,
I know that the party
in the past forbided 4 steps.
Because those were bad students.
Tonight, you can dance what you like.
What a wonderful master!
If anyone goes against you.
I'll kill him!
I do want to dance with Miss Lam!
Old wolf!
This student is totally changed.
How amazing!
Get away!
Four eyes wolf!
Enjoy your chatting.
Are you still angry with me?
What a failure this time!
I can't find Doggie.
But I've found that
I am suitable to be teacher.
So, it's no big deal of
not finding Doggie.
I wish to get marry.
With whom?
Me?
No I want to marry with an Indian.
Indian?
Boys and girls!
Please keep quiet, please come here.
Now we'll play a game
called arresting the terrorists.
What are you doing?
Sir, what's the matter? Are you...
Are you hitting me?
My God Gun!
I just want you to co-operate!
I want to look for
a boy called Doggie.
There is a birth mark on his ass.
Doggie?
Who is the one responsible?
I'm the headmaster.
Don't hurt my students.
Okay, I'll hurt you instead.
Who is the one next to him.
He is!
He is!
Come out!
Go!
Who is Doggies? Come out!
I don't knows!
Even you know it, you won't tell!
You don't want me
to hurt you students?
No!
Why do you beat me?
Oh, it's you?
He is a cop!
We are cops too!
Oh, we'd not have to worry then.
Martial arts master?!
Ironic Stomach!
It Bo Sham Martial Arts...
Don't get mad.
You too.
It's you!
We are just this same.
But, I'm the undercover
of the opposite side.
Good done!
Miss Lam!
Kill them first.
Brother lt,
hand this guy to me, okay?
I just promised to investigate
but not kill.
You tricks me!
Go now! Go!
What'll we do now?
Go up and have a look first.
How is it?
The lines are cut.
Go now, we'll go out
to call the police.
No! I can go!
Don't go in, you'll be killed.
It's too dangerous
for me to save you.
I know you betrayed them for me.
I appreciated so much!
But I can't leave my fiancee alone.
Hope you'll understand me.
Where is Doggie?
Stupid!
Ace!
Mr. Hou!
How are you?
We are fine.
How are they?
The guy is mad, go now.
I can't leave you behind!
He's coming for me,
none of your business.
Go!
It's my business, I'm Doggie.
That's why you asked me
to show them my ass!
Sorry!
I don't want to see my dad,
so I hide my identity.
But I can't imagine
it's really a mess.
So you needn't hide yourself now.
You dad is killed.
Go! I know how to fix him.
Turtle, help me.
How?
I'll make them
enter the Chemistry tab.
Now is 8:53,
7 minutes to 9.
You press the bell, okay? Remember!
You want to cut the gas tube?
The bell rings,
they'll be killed by explosion.
How are you? Mr. Hou.
Fortune teller said
I'll have long life, I'll be fine.
Let's go!
Let's check our watches.
Okay!
I'll go and help.
Help Mr. Hou!
I'm here.
I'll be okay!
Kidding?
Let's go!
Don't shoot!
Where can you go?
Super finger! Watch out!
Don't bend my finger!
Don't! I don't like that!
We haven't finished
our game last time.
This time, we play in 5 bullets.
Why can't you smell the gas?
I can't help, it's because of you.
I'm sorry!
Never mind!
Let's play in 6 this time.
6?
There is only 10 more seconds
to the explosion.
Time is so limited!
Chemistry lab...
Which is chemistry lab
and which is Maths room?
Just 2 seconds left. I've to risk.
Not this one!
Let's talk in peace okay?
This one!
I made it!
Damn you Mad Ball!
Go to hell!
Eat shit now!
You are really great!
I don't want it actually!
You stupid!
Uncle Tai!
Where is Hou?
They are in the PE hall.
Call the police!
What else to you have?
He knows Ti Bo Sham Martial Arts.
Attack his heart and throat.
Attack him together!
American football.
I can't jump that high!
What'll I do now?
Attack his penis!
Hurry up!
Why that's no use?
Kidding?
You killed my father.
You are Doggie?!
Don't beat him, release him.
Kidding only!
Damn!
Let's bet our lives!
Super finger is much
more powerful than scissors legs.
Turtle.
Yes!
You words would become evidence.
Got it?
Are you okay?
Don't you think I'd be in trouble?
What are you starring?
Come and help! It's heavy!
Ace, don't just play.
Study hard I'll miss you.
See you!
I want to talk to you.
But I don't know where to start.
Go ahead!
You are too handsome! I love you.
Mr. Hou, in a hurry?!
Come on!
I'll wait!
Madam!
I decided to promote
you as Chief Inspector.
You can resume duty now.
Thank you madam.
But I don't think it suits me.
What'll suit you then?
They'll do.
I want to be teacher.
Because I'll feel successful
if I can make them good.
Sorry madam!
I'm back!
Bravo! Hurray!
Your boyfriend is useless,
don't marry him.
Or you'll be in deep shit.
Open the door.
Yes madam!
Wait!
Madam...
My uncle has one thing in mind
but he's never done this.
What's it?
That's...
How can you milk?