Troubleshooters (1971) - full transcript

The day he is released from jail, Serge is expected by four killers sent by Count Charles Varèse assigned to make him confess where he has hidden the jewels stolen during his last stickup. On the other hand the police inspector who arrested him offers him protection on condition he gives him the same piece of information. Serge refuses and is about to be tortured by Varèse's henchmen when Michel, a friendly hood, comes to his rescue. His friendship will result in... a heap of corpses! - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
Albert Simon,
good weather news today.

In Normandie, they say "There's as much
sun shining hours on the All Saint's day

than weeks to blow in your hands."
Now the beautiful fall ends,

the trees will turn bald and my hair will
grow back. Rain asks to be washed down!






Here we go again with that shit.

I put some music. I guess you didn't
hear much of it across the street.

An espresso. Make it strong, I've been
waiting for this for five years.

Nobody cared to pick you up?
Not even a friend?

No. I've got only one
and he can't come.

He's too far?

No, he's just across the street.
But he still has 43 days to do.

Then you'll come to pick him up.
- I don't know if I'm gonna could

but anyway there's gonna
be people waiting for him.


Remission! What does it mean?
He was supposed to serve six years.

It's unfair.
- He was a model prisoner.

I really can't help it.

Don't worry, I've got four men
waiting for him. They won't miss him.

What's the matter? Are you crying?

He's still my husband.

Aubin, you won a remission thanks
to your exemplary behaviour.

But we're gonna do more.
We'll help you not to fall again

in the diabolical spiral of crime.

Superintendent Caillaud had an idea.

I put you in so I wanted to be there to help
you out in the best possible conditions.

Count Charles Varese's men
are waiting for you outside,

we can't let them slaughter you, do we?

Come have a look.


There's four of them.

The driver is Djemal, an Indian.

That's Reuter, you already know him.

So as Tosca, the Italian.

Here's a new guy, Congo.
An American bully.

Why don't you lock them up?
They're right in front of you!

I agree they're killers but they're
also registered executives!

With pay stubs and papers in order.

Is the count such a big shot?
- You know I'm just a humble superintendent.

And I won't change the world
five years before retirement.

That's a shame.

You're right, that's a shame.

In the meanwhile, you're gonna
take a tunnel who'll lead you

two streets away in
a building's cellar.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

But by the way, Aubin...
We're saving your life right now...

You agree, don't you?
We're saving your life.


That deserves a piece
of information, no?

You tell us where the jewels are hidden.
Just in a friendly way...

Santini gets them.

- You heard everything, my dear friend.
- That's crystal clear.

After three years in jail,
he's still the same!

I questioned him myself for two days
and two nights, he's always deny.

- What's gonna happen to him?
- He'll tell us like a good boy

where he hid the jewels and that's all.
That's all I want.

Are they gonna torture him?

Dunno. We'll see...

And you're the one who mentioned
the jewels after all.


You don't want them anymore?

I want him to stay alive.

So that's your final word:
you don't have the jewels?


Then you'll go out on your own
by the main door.

But those guys don't belong to
the League of Human Rights.

They'll know how to make you speak.

You'll end up regretting
the good old republican police.

That's a shame.

The two of us could have get along.
- It's true: that's a shame.

Rethink about it, Aubin...

Santini gets the jewels, okay.

It's a nicely packaged story but we don't
buy it. Your Santini doesn't exist.

Nobody knows him,
nobody ever saw him: he's a ghost.

You never had any accomplice, anyway.
You always worked on your own.

You hid the jewels. Everybody told it
at your trial, even your wife.

My wife is a bitch.

- I'm not a bitch.
- Of course. But when a woman

has been bitchy with a man,
she can be bitchy with another man.

I'd better be cautious.

George won't move from the door.
- Hello, Countess. Hello, Count...

- You've seen?
- So if I get it, I can't go out anymore.


It's just to avoid you making
something stupid. Like going at

the prison, for example.
- To do what?

- To give him a hand.
- He said he wanna kill me; I'm not crazy.

Anyway, if he wants to reach you,
he's gonna have a long way to go.

Come have a look.

Look who's waiting for him:
Manuel in the car park;

and inside the Meari,
Albert and Daniel.

See? I thought of everything.

I don't want to lose you.
- My love!

It's okay, you can come in.

- Hello, sir.
- Hello.

A shandy.
- With lots of beer or lots of lemonade?

With lots of both.

What are you drinking?


Not a bad idea.

And you?
- A Ricard.

- Two shandies and a Ricard, please.
- Yes.

I have to take a leak.

Go with him.

Can I go, now?

I was afraid you won't be here.

Don't worry, I planed everything.

What are we doing? There is four of them,
I hope you brought a bazooka.

You'll go with them and I'll come
at the right moment.

What if you don't come?

I'd be waiting for Zorro while
I'd get my face smashed in.

I'll be there before they get a chance
to touch you, don't worry.

And her? Do you know where she is?
- Come on, don't you start

bugging me again with your chick!

I told you: don't worry,
I planed everything.

- How far have you got?
- Just a sec! There's no rush!

Okay, let's go.

They got him.

Here they come.

Hey, Serge; how do you
like being outside?

If we need you, we'll call you
on the entry phone. Understood?!

I hope you don't mind
if I walk first.



Hey, go wait in the hall.

Come on, in the hall!

Okay, put him through.

Hi, Serge. I heard you want
to speak to me about the jewels.

I know you have them because a husband
has no secret for his wife.


You got away from me once three years ago.
But now I want you to talk.


You know, Carla, I'm gonna kill you.

I'm gonna kill you!

I don't know anything!


I'll go at my office.
You'll let me know.

It's Santini!


If he makes it,
he'll break the record.

- Is that you, honey?
- Yes, it's me.

He didn't break the record.

Where are the jewels?

Okay, let's try. But I disagree.

Electroshocks of variable
intensity and length

successively given on
the main nerve centers.

It's awesome!
- I don't know anything.

How do you manage
to keep your chin up?

I fight for a right cause.


What are you doing, sir?

Oh, yes! Again.

I don't know anything!

Plug it.

Do I start?

Go ahead.

The fuses have blown.

I can see that.

Oh, yes; tighten me hard.

I love it.

I'm gonna waste you!

Untie him.

Hurry up!

What's the names of your friends
in the Volkswagen? - What?

Come on, what's their names?

- Pierre and Carlo.
- Thanks.

It wasn't too long, isn't it?

You didn't worry? - Of course not
since you'd planed everything!

- No more than 30 seconds!?
- No more than 30 seconds.

- And the second time?
- There's no second time.

After, I'm beat, I just fall asleep.

- Did you tried some medicines?
- You bet! Medicines...

Pierre, Carlo... Come quickly!

I tried everything,
even sport; come on!

- And?
- I run the 100 meters in 12 seconds.

Yes, we've done a wonderful work.

But now the lesson's over.
I'm fed up with it!

You understand?
I'm nervous today. Nervous!

So now, relax.

Me have little shower.

What!? Do you wanna
have a shower?

If it's what you want, go ahead.

After you.

- What's wrong with the elevator!?
- It's coming!

- I can't even climb ten floors.
- Don't worry; it was the same

for me when I got out.

Hurry up; I'll wait for you downstairs.
- Yeah.

- Well, Mr Ferglough...

Hurry up!

Not here, there!

Charles, is that you?

Charles, is that you?


Are you okay?
- Not too bad.

Are you alone, honey?

- Come on in.
- Remember what I told you?

I don't care.

Come on in.

You don't look good, my love.

I'm glad you're out, you know.
- Of course.

You don't have to believe me
but it's true.

Let me say what I want to say.

I'll just finish my sentence
then you'll do what you want;

trample on me, beating me out,
killing me; I don't care!

Then finish it quickly,
I'm in a hurry.

I don't want anymore,
you're too stupid.

That was painful.

- You're not gonna shoot?
- Of course not.

Oh, Serge; the weather's so fine,
the sun is shining!

It wasn't shining in jail.

- That's the other one.
- Answer him.

Carla darling, is everything okay?

- So-so.
- Is he here?


Yes, he's here.

Right before me.

He's threatening me with a gun.

A gun with a silencer.

Charles, I'm afraid.
- Don't worry. My love,

there's no danger.
You're not alone.

I'm not far, watching over you.

I'm blocking the car park's entrance,
there's no way he can make it.

Put him through.

He won't talk to you.

He says he won't talk
to a cheap playboy.

He says he's gonna exit,
very quietly...

with me.

His gun will be pointed
towards me,

and he's gonna shoot me
if you move.

And you, Charles;
what are you saying?

Please Charles, don't do anything stupid.
- Don't worry, he won't go far.

Move your ass, we're not gonna
hang around here for ever.

- Here we go again!
- No way!

Don't rejoice, it's just a respite.

Can you get my fur coat
in the closet?

No! Not this closet.
The one in the entrance, my love.

Got a comb?

- Are you comfortable?
- It's okay, thanks.

- We were supposed to be only two.
- Life is full of surprises, you know.

Please don't go too far.

Especially in the current circumstance.

I think you have the evil eye.
That's the only explanation.

- Listen, chief...
- A phone call for you, sir.

Listen Caillaud, you asked for a special
leave to get back on Aubin's case;

you assured me
you'll find the jewels...

That everything will work perfectly...

So Aubin exited from jail...

And three hours later,
there's already five bodies.

Five bodies is a lot.

They were ex-convicts.


But five is a lot.

I'll have to justify it.

Tall, dark-haired, handsome,
with small eyes close together...

and of such a cruelty!

What do I say?

Please, chief; I know it's asking a lot
but give me two days, I have my little idea.

There's two more.

Here's what you get
with remissions!

An understanding justice
and crack: it's anarchy!

So, superintendent...

Can you tell me know where
Miss Carla Bichie has been taken?

My fiancee.
- You mean Mrs Serge Aubin.

I don't ask you what's her name,
I ask you where she is.

You shouldn't worry like this.
She just left with her husband.

They didn't see each other for
a long time and they're both young.

You know what is it.

You're very unpleasant to me.

Superintendent, I know a lot of people
and I'll take the liberty of advising you

to find my fiancee
as quickly as possible.

I've got connections.

I could phone the department,

Or even better...

I could compromise you.

With some sex scandal.

Articles in gossip newspapers,

trick photographs...

I think that would
fit you perfectly.

A nice sexual deviance.

A repulsive one.

Revolting, sordid.

It's not looked upon kindly.

Especially in your profession.

My english teacher.

This place's full of life.

I love the smell of hay.
- Beetroot.

- What? - I doesn't smell hay,
it smells beetroot.

And beetroot stinks!

A nice friend you've got.
Do you know him for long?

Three years.

Come on.

You can lock her up in there.



Are you okay?
- Yes.

Let me out!
If you want to kill me, do it now!

I can't bear being locked up,
I'm claustrophobic; and you know it!

And I can't bear the smell
of mothballs!

I can't breath!

Bastard! Torturer!


I can't stand being called a pig.

- But...
- Don't worry, look...

"Filthy pig, torturer!..."

See? I shot up here.

I wouldn't have take the liberty,
you're the one supposed to kill her.

Poor bastard!

What's wrong with you? You've been
bugging me every night for the last

three years saying you're gonna
kill her. You change your mind?

I'll go dig a hole in
the courtyard tonight.

You'll be back on your feet
in three days.

Sorry about the butter,
it tastes funny.

- It doesn't matter.
- You think so?

I'm not easy to please
with butter.

You're done?

What do you think about?
- Nothing.

- No, your mind's always busy.
- Not now.

Do I serve you?

Why don't you talk to me?

- I am talking to you!
- Yes, but not like before.

You feed me, I eat.

Yes, but you're not talking.


Was your friend eating
at night in the cell?

- No, why?
- Because he could have woke you up.

- Am I noisy?
- Forget it.

Leave him alone!

Listen, Carla...

I'm not the one who wants
to bump you off, he is.

And I'm not the one who sent him
in jail, you are.

- We're not going to speak about
that again. - But we'll have to.

It's time to go dig the hole.
Exercise will help my digestion.

What hole?


I hope you'll give me a hand.

Yeah, I'm coming.

What are you waiting for?
Go with him.

'There's plenty more fish in the sea'
but sometimes you can't catch another one.

And 'the love of one's life'
sort of thing does exist.

It would be a shame to miss it,
or even worst: lose it.

When a woman is underground,
there's no way you can lose her.

You know where she is.

You'll tell me there's things
you can forget, like jail.

But you'll tell me three years
isn't that long...

I'm not gonna tell you that.

I met you thanks to the pen.

There's good in everything.
You always only see the wrong side.

If you want to take her on a cruise,
tell it to me before I'm done.

I'm gladly digging but it would
piss me off to get a lumbago for nothing.

Things aren't getting better.



You can't do that in
broad daylight.

I'll do it after I finish
my cigarette.


Your cigarette is kinda long!

- So?
- So I'm waiting!

- What are you waiting for?
- That you kill me.

But hurry up and stop
your melodrama.

Don't you thing I've got
good reason for that?

- Not especially.
- Admit that you're quite a bitch!

Since they released you,
that's the only thing you can say:

"You're a bitch, you're a bitch."
- I'm maybe lacking vocabulary,

I can't think of another word
to describe someone who acts

like you did.
- This is not being a bitch!

I just can't live alone.
It's not my fault.

Just listen to her:
soon she'll be the victim!

The poor woman abandoned
by her husband!

He was at ease in the pen
and she was crying her eyes out!

Exactly, it wasn't easy for her;
you can believe me.

And you'll soon tell me you were
feverishly waiting for me!?

And you were glad to see me again!
- Perfectly.

The best proof is that
I'm here, now.

You really got some nerve! I don't
even know why I'm talking to you.

- Serge...
- What?

Won't you come to bed with me?

Admit that you're quite a bitch!

And now?


It's okay, I got the picture.

I'll go buy some croissants
for you tomorrow morning.

You make me laugh, you don't know what
is it to kill someone in cold blood.

Are you teasing me?

- Are your kidneys aching?
- Sure, remember the grave?

Are you gonna sleep here?

Why? Am I in your way?

No, me I don't care...

That's her...
She's feeling you next door and...

that's bothering her.

- Don't tell me she wants me to leave!?
- No...

I mean... Ideally...

It would be better.

That's a bit rich!

Good night!


- What now?
- Where are you?

What do you care?

I can't believe he's in the hole!

What the fuck are you doing?
Are you gonna sleep here?

I just fell into it, asshole!

Are you insane?
What's your problem?

I'm sick and tired of this, Serge.

Instead of going basking my ass
in the sun when I've been discharged,

I just waited for you for a month.
I met you in smelly toilets.

You had some troubles,
I wasted seven guys.

I found a hideout, stole a car,
drove for 200 kms.

We arrived here; I did the shopping,
cooking, cleaning

and now I've got to sleep outside
because I'm bothering Milady!

You're bothering me too.

- I'm bothering you too!?
- Not really but...

This situation ain't natural.

I've been bugging you for three years
saying "I'm gonna kill her."

but I just fell into her arms
after I found her.

Don't you understand I feel
like a dick in front of you?

To speak frankly,
I'm not very surprised.

Just go meet her up.
Don't worry for me, I know where to go.

By the way, we still can buy ourselves
some nice holidays in the sun.

As soon as I 'll get the jewels back.
- You really have them!?

- Of course!
- You two-faced bastard!

By the way, it's maybe not
so honest to use that money...

Sure but... we're not gonna
start working, right?

That's the last straw!


When I think that bitch
is getting laid in my bed!

Come back down.

I can't believe that!

I'm so fucking stupid!

I'm so fucking stupid to sleep
in that fucking car!



Do you know what
I'm gonna do to you?

You're listening Europe 1 and
let me tell you we own the night.

You're telling me!

I'm hungry.

I'm hungry.

Do you want some coffee?

My love.


Put that away, don't be a fool.

What a night!

I've never been so happy.

You can live that kind of things
only once.

Don't you think so?
- Stop it.

- Don't you think?
- You're kidding.

That's why I want to put
an end to our story.

Stop it now, you're not funny.


I'll never forget you.

You'll always stay a dick.


You're totally fucked off!
Out of your mind!

My love...

look what we've got here!
You shouldn't had trouble yourself.

- Mrs Aubin, I presume...
- Hands up.

- I can't, my arms are too short.

- How nice of you to stop by.
- I was jogging in the neighbourhood.

If I don't jog my 12 kms
every morning, I get fat.

Superintendent Caillaud,
my young and lovely wife.

How do you do?

The jewels?
- Oh, come on...

Do you need a hole that big and deep
for jewels? - You're right...

That's too bad.
- Would you care for a cup of tea?

A wine from la Loire?
- Yeah.

It's delicious.

May I?

Are you alone here?

I don't have a warrant...
Just to let you know.

- I don't have anything to hide.
- Too bad.

It looks like plenty of things
are pictured in three years!

My dear Aubin, I'd like you to know
that my behaviour is conducted

by only two things:

The sense of duty

and the respect of the oath.


So give me the jewels or I bust you.
- Reason?

Murder, of course.

We've got plenty of bodies.
- I never killed anyone.


You have two days.

That's the best I can do.

I'll keep you in sight.
Whatever you do, wherever you are.

At the right moment: crack!

So long.

What a nasty man.

Shit, we're not gonna spend
our day here!

It doesn't take two hours
to speak with Anvers!

Mrs Chauvet, is our
phone call coming?

I complained already, Mr Michel.

We need to pick up the clothes,
then the jewels,

it's gonna take at least three hours.
Then, of course, cross the border.

And that's no picnic.

But after that,
the three of us will have it easy

and the superintendent and the police
are unlikely to find us.

The Belgium is on the line, sir.

That was about time.

You don't seem glad to come with us.
Don't you like Belgium?

Don't go too far.

You can treat him as an idiot,
he's enjoying it. But I don't.

I don't treat him as an idiot.

Come on, he spent three years
in jail because of you!

That's not true!

Do you want to hear
my version of the story?

- Go ahead.
- One day, he comes back home

with 300 million of jewels
and show them to me like this!

A perfect job:
no accomplice, no mistake.

We could had flee right away
but he wanted to stay cautious.

So he hides the jewels and we start
waiting: one month, two months...

After six months, I got fed up
and I talked about it.

But that's all I've done: talk.

So it made its way to the cops
and they busted him.

I didn't finger him, I didn't write
any anonymous letter. Nothing.

- Okay, but what about Charles?
- He knew about the jewels.

That's actually why he got
his hands on me and after...

I couldn't get rid of him.

But since I've seen him again,
I don't want to fool around anymore.

He's the only one
I'm having fun with.

Okay, the border crossing is arranged
and in Anvers, we'll cash the money

in dollars. - And then...
the three of us will have it easy...

You bet!

I got it. I'll have
to find myself a chick too.

We've got company.

The superintendent?


- You'll go on your own, nice and easy.
- But...

Don't argue, you'll manage
that very well.

- It's unfair.
- Go now!

"Drawn by the smell,
Master Fox spoke, below..."

There's nothing dumber
than a crow!

What is he doing here?

I'm the one asking you.

Oh, you're here!?

What was he doing
in the closet?

He was afraid because of Serge
so he hid into the closet.


It's terrible the way you always
want a reason for everything.

- Tuto nudo!
- Of course, naked; are you blind?

Where are the other two?

In Anvers, loser; with the jewels.

I saw the jewels,
I even touched them.

They are selling them right now;
they'll be back tomorrow with the cash.

Serge is still in love with me,
he wants us to leave together.

Did you agree?

I played the game, moron!

To gain some time.

Because I love you.

I wonder why.

And you, instead of taking me
in your arms, what are you doing?

You slap me. Like a coward.

All this because of this sucker!

This moron who wanted to have a shower.
My teacher was too hot.

Here's what you get
for being nice.

No, don't beat me!

Please forgive me.

I have a lot of troubles in
this moment but you'll see,

soon everything will be fine.


Nothing will happen
before tomorrow.

You'll spend the night here.
Set up spells of duty.

I'll stay in the farm. Don't
disturb me unless it's important.

And knock before to enter.

Did you hear that?

What is it?

A gunshot, I guess.



When a woman has betray a man,
she can betray another man.

What's wrong, Charles?



The heart?

He was very emotional,
you know.

Don't you think
we felt moved enough?

Now the important thing is to go
to see Santini to pick up the jewels.

- Who?
- What?

- Yes, Santini.
- Santini!

He does exist and
he does have the jewels.

Will we have to waste
that Santini of yours?

It's terrible that habit you have.
No, we don't have to waste him!

I'm actually glad to see him,
that's him who brought me up.

He's been keeping the jewels
for the last three years.

You really got a cheek to give
his name to the police!

No one believes you
when you say the truth.

I absolutely agree.

See? It's here.

A bit above Arras. Be careful
not to take the wrong turn,

there's a secondary road.

That's no Bermuda, there's nothing
sumptuous, no palm trees...

Just an isolated small house near
the city. It's not bad, it's quiet.

It's rustic.

Who's dead?

- Are you part of the family?
- I don't know.

Santini. Gustave Santini.

What about the jewels?

- That's life!
- Do you have flowers?

A garland?... Anything?


That's life!

Listen, Caillaud;
you're not reasonable.

No... Really not reasonable!

Yes, I'm aware that you have
your little idea.

- By now, they probably have the jewels.
- Jewels or not jewels,

if they don't sleep
in jail tonight,

you really gonna have
some serious troubles.

I understand, chief.

Yet I'm sure that
my idea was right.

Nothing here neither.

Not a bloody thing.

It can't be here. Actually, I'm pretty
sure he put it into his old tin trunk.

He always kept it with him.
That was the thing he cared about the most.

As the house is empty, we have
to face it: someone was here before us.


- That's the question.
- Yes, who?

Come on.

That's life.

Does someone came into
the house before us?

There was a couple loading stuff
in an old van when we arrived.

You don't know who they were?

- Who's paying for the funeral?
- That's him.

That's life.

- So, were screwed.
- Shut up, you're gonna jinx us.

- I don't see how it could be worst.
- Can't you shut up for a while?

- What's wrong with you?
- Grief.

- Go play somewhere else.
- I don't play, I follow my grandpa,

he's in the truck, he's dead.

- Oh, it's your grandpa?
- Yes, I like him.

- What's your name?
- Mum always tell me not to answer

to strangers in the street.

- He's so cute.
- It's good, isn't it?

Kids could eat loads of this.

- It's good, isn't it?
- Listen pal, you're a big boy,

we can have a talk.

You must tell us what's your name
and where you live.

We need to see
your dad and mum.

Do you want another one?

Yes, a chocolate one.

Chocolate and cream!

An eclair, Mrs.

Hey, kiddo...

Tell us now!

I'm not afraid of the fatso.

- It's tough.
- How much is it, Mrs?

12 francs, service included, sir.

12 francs!
And without the service?

I don't even have 10 francs.

We're damn broke.

You know I have
100 francs in my bra?

She still has 100 francs in her bra.

That's good,
with that we can go to Anvers.

Yeah, but if the kid doesn't yap,
you can say goodbye to Anvers.

- Are you gonna spill the beans!?
- Chocolate is so good.

Thank you, miss social worker.
- Social worker!?

Don't you know the queen
of the shanty towns?

They call her the Mini
driving priest!

It's here.

I want to see what's
the man is doing.

Only the mattress was still good.
He left nothing but old junks.

- Let me see.
- I didn't take the time to look yet.

Take what you want.
- Yeah, don't worry.

I'll finish this and
I'll pour you a drink.

It's nice to meet a cousin we don't know.
Family still means something.

Isn't it?
- Of course... Family is great...

That's the most important thing.

That's me when I was a kid.

It deserves a small tear, isn't it?

What is he looking for?

Did you find what
you were looking for?

Not much,
just a couple of photos.

Things to remember.

He was a nice man,
I liked him.


You'll give this to your mum.
- Yes.

Go quickly.

- Here's the social worker.
- Hurry up,

we ain't gonna spend
our life on that beach.

Swear me something:
when we'll have the money, we'll send

a few million to that woman.
- A few million!

- One.
- Yeah, one. A small one.

Swear it.

Come on.

Cross my heart.

- You too.
- Yeah, we'll see.

- Swear it!
- We'll see. Hop in.

- You're heartless.
- Okay, when we'll have the money.

Sister Mary of anguishes!

And then...

He faced the guy and said...

"Do you have
a pair of pliers?"

A good one, isn't it?

I like it.

We'll be in Anvers for dinner.

Are you sure
of your border escort?

He's a former customs officer.

Children, that's the last stop
before the border.

- And then: sun and love...
- And then: sun and love, yeah.

Love, love...
In the meanwhile, gimme your 100 francs.

- I don't have them anymore.
- Stop joking!

I don't have them anymore.

- What? Did you lose them?
- No.

- Then, what have you done with them?
- I gave them.

- To whom?
- To that woman with the kids.

I can't believe this,
are you fucked off or what!?

- Stop yelling.
- We have just 100 francs and you give them!

- Stop it.
- You're such an idiot.

- Do I fill it up?
- No!

- You don't want gas!?
- No!

- Then what you want?
- Just ask you something.

- You'll tell me; you're married, right?
- Yes; so what?

- You have children, you look nice.
- I've got three children.

- Then you get family allowance.
- Like everybody does.

But you still have difficulty
making ends meet.

- Yeah.
- Then if you're in trouble,

just ask her for help because
she's giving money to everybody.

It's Georgette Schweitzer,
the sister of the doctor.

Every time she sees a China man
without rice or a toothless dog,

she has to help, so we don't have
a dime left to buy some gas.

What's that?...
Are you making a fool out of me?

- Absolutely.
- Hey, it won't be as easy as that!

Piss off!

Go wash your hands,
you smell gas!


- Angry?
- No, my love!

How could I be angry?
You only do stupid things but

that's because you've good heart.
- Don't be sulking...

I'm not! - Cool it!
You're not gonna fight for 100 francs.

We'll just bust a cash drawer,
nice and easy; that's all.

We're gonna find
a gas station on the road.

This one looks quiet.

I'm afraid.

"In the marchioness's large bed,

we were 80 hunters..."

The seventh

"Iron battalion...

steel battalion..."

The thirteenth

"No bread and no brug, on the thirteenth,
they've got nothing but water!"

Hey, guys!
If we had to go to action again,

I'd go without hesitation.

The 27th

"If you have balls,
you'll have to prove it!"

Do you know where to find
chief warrant officer Perolas?

On the meeting of roads 84 and 117,
like in the good old days!

Make love, not war!

Traitor! Defeatist!

If he still was among us...

We really miss him, do we?

Perolas, someone horned.

I'll go.

And if it's a Mercedes...

I don't clean the windscreen.

It's better not being
in a hurry here.


- Excuse-me, the bathroom?
- Over there.

Do I fill it up?
- Yeah.

- Do you have mint candies?
- In the shop. I'll meet you there.

There's nothing downstairs but
it's quite noisy upstairs.

Then be ready to leave fast.

- Did you find?
- The cash!


Hurry up!



No, it's okay.

Get on the wheel.

- Bragagnad, on observation.
- Yes, chief.

- What are you doing?
- I'm calling the police.

Are you insane? We're gonna
handle this by ourselves.

Leave it.
Come on!

Cover me.


- Beat it and stash the jewels!
- No!

Never mind,
I'll go without a helmet!


Go forward!



- Jesus Christ, you get bad!
- That's my leg.

Beat it!

Come on, beat it!

Split, I said!

She's so fucking dumb!
- Get lost, don't bust our balls!

Get the hell out of here,
you cunt!

You're lucky they're firing at us,
otherwise I'd kick your ass!

She's so fucking dumb!

- Get lost! Don't stay in our way!
- That chick is so dumb, beat it!


Beat it, or I feel
I'm gonna become rude.

- Beat it with the jewels!
- Go stash the jewels, flog them.

Beat it.
Go stash the jewels, we said!

Drink this buddy,
you'll feel better.

It doesn't look to get better.

I even feel like we're screwed.
- Not sure.

- Got an idea?
- A little one.

A very little one.


Here comes my little idea.

Get out quickly!



Do you think those bastards
would stop?


- Papers, please.
- Yes, of course.

Please follow me, Mrs.

That's France. You can die on the side
of the road, no one would stop!

Fucking shitty gun!

- You have no rights to stay here.
- I've got all the rights, Mrs.

- Stop that, would you!?
- No, I won't.

Hey, come on...

That's it.
- No. Don't touch me!

Hey, come on!

- Get out of here or I skin you alive!
- Get out, you stupid bride!

- This is no way to behave...
- Are you crazy!?

Beat it or I waste you!

- Come, my darling.
- Henry, do something!

But they're armed
and they're tall!

Here's to the bride!

Move your ass, cuckold!

And you didn't move
a single finger, sucker!

They were really needing gas.

It's not us.


"The cold will mostly be felt
between the 20 and the 26..."


Do you allow me

to stop for a minute?


Are you really enthusiastic
about going to jail?

In this shitty country where the sun
shines three days a year?

Of course not.

My little idea was not bad.

That's it!

Come on.

It's even an awesome one....

An awesome little idea.

By the way, superintendent...


You had the jewels, you could had run
on your own, why taking us with you?

Because I'm honest.

Yes, but dumb.

How silly of you, superintendent,
not to know your departments!

Martinique is part of France!

Cheers, superintendent!