Trouble Brewing (1939) - full transcript
George has won a lot of money at the races but he's paid with counterfeit money. He sets about tracking down the criminals himself.
Last week Cardiff, the
week before newcastle.
Six months now they've
been getting away with it.
And what have you discovered? Nothing.
We've proved it's the
work of one gang, sir.
The "daily sun"
doesn't seem to think so.
Of course, sir, if you
prefer to back the judgement
of a pack of news hawks to our-
- no, no, no. I'm not saying that.
We've got to face facts.
These "sun" reporters are
always discovering slush
one town ahead of us.
Yes, I know sir.
Well for heaven's sake get busy.
They're making a laughing stock of us
and I won't have my police
organisation laughed at
by the "daily sun" or any other newspaper.
How can I set this up if
I can't read a word of it?
Who made these filthy marks?
Not me, sir.
Couldn't say, sir.
Well somebody must have.
Well, you better ask George gullip.
Gullip?
Yes, he thinks he's Sherlock Holmes
and sexton Blake rolled into one.
He'll find out anything.
Gullip!
Yes, sir?
Oil
beg your pardon.
Yes, sir?
So you're a bit of a
detective, eh, gullip?
Well you see sir with my new-
- see those marks?
Oh, yes, sir.
Show me who did them and
you can pack up a quarter
of an hour earlier tonight.
Well, it's elementary, my dear Watson.
What?
Look, another one.
Soitis.
Look. There's another one.
Look.
Another one.
Look, there's another one.
Look, the criminal.
Where?
There.
What's the idea?
Well, look.
You can see the ink Mark on pussy's feet.
That's right, so you can.
But how did he get the ink on
his feet in the first place?
I put it on.
You put it on?
Yes, you see, with my
patent crime detector-
- then you can take that
to Mr. Brady and tell him
why I can't read it.
Mr. Brady, quick.
What the devil do you want?
Well, it's about your copy sir.
Well, what about it?
Well, I've invented a
sort of detector which-
- all right, now wait here.
Wait here.
Ah.
Yes, sir?
What's the meaning of
all this sludge business?
Slush sir, not sludge.
This counterfeit money business.
Who told you to run it on the front page?
It's a great stunt.
Nonsense. No public appeal.
But thousands of our readers-
- you heard what I said?
I did.
Hey, I haven't
finished with you yet.
Very good, sir.
Tell my secretary to
cancel that slush copy.
Come here Brady.
Coming sir.
Cancel, slush.
Go on.
Hey look out. Look what you're doing.
Hey, what's the idea?
I'm just gonna see miss. Brown.
Well, don't practise on me.
But professor Ashton, you can't do that.
It's one of the most popular
features in the paper.
Oh, all right, I'll tell Mr. Brady.
Hello.
Miss. Brown, Mr. Brady
said you had to cancel
the slush copy.
Oh, did he?
And there's this.
Oh yes, that's about slush too.
Well that won't be needed either.
Ooh, thank goodness for that.
What are all these marks on it?
Oh, that's from my detector.
Detector?
Yes. Look, if they'd let me use it
I'd soon catch the slushers for them.
You would?
Yes, well you see, through
working in the printing shop
we get to know quite a lot about the inks
and I've been mixing them up a bit
and this is the solution
I got that won't come off.
Go on.
Yes, well when I say that
it comes off on your finger
all right and it comes off
on anything that you touch
with your finger but it stays
on your fingers just the same.
Do you mind saying that
again, very slowly, please?
Well, I'll show you.
You see, this is the ink I mixed.
Now [I'll put a bit on your
finger and you'll see.
Now go on, Mark something.
See, leaves a Mark.
Well, of course.
Now you try and get it off your finger.
It won't come off.
Course it won't, and it'll
stay there for a whole week.
What?
And I'll know everything
you've been doing
by the marks you leave.
Well I don't think that's very funny.
No, no, I didn't mean it that way.
Look, I've got a special bottle
of antimacassar that'll bring it off.
I mean, I wouldn't do
it to you miss. Brown,
only do it to slushers and
these Mark slushers, you see.
What the devil are you doing here?
I was explaining to miss. Brown-
- well get out.
Have you finished that typing yet?
Nearly.
Now come on, hurry up.
Take those things off my desk.
I'm being as quick as I can, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Good night, miss. Brown.
Get out!
It'd be a lot easier for
everyone if lord redhill
kept to his own job of owning the paper
instead of trying to run it.
The noise of that typewriter's
driving me crackers.
Everyone else in the building
has one of the silent ones,
why haven't I?
I'm sorry, Mr. Brady, but
the stores made a mistake.
You see, they issued the last silent one-
- then stores had better put it right.
Take that one back.
Very good, Mr. Brady.
Cancel that slush leader.
Yes.
Oh, and professor Ashton phoned up.
He's had to dash of to examine
a prehistoric skull or something.
He won't be able to get
his copy through in time.
He can't do that, his daily
horoscope's read by thousands.
Yes, I know.
You'll have to vamp it up yourself.
Yes, but that's impossible-
- well someone's got to do it.
His blinking lordship's in a
bad enough temper as it is.
Very good, Mr. Brady.
Yes, sir?
Give this to the head storekeeper.
Yes, sir.
Oh, hello, can I help you?
Oh, thanks.
I'm taking it to the store room.
I'll wait here for you, Romeo.
Yeah.
I was wondering if you'd come
out and have a drink with us?
Oh, I'm sorry I can't.
Mr. Brady has given me
some extra work to do.
Mr. Brady insists on having
one of those silent ones.
I'll do my best, miss.
Thank you.
Good night.
Good night.
I was wondering if I could be
of any help, I don't suppose?
Do you know anything about horoscopes?
Not much, but I can try.
All right then, two
heads are always better
than one, aren't they?
Course.
However empty.
Yes.
It's along here.
Beats me how you work this thing.
Ooh, I wish this was real and
I was following up a murder.
Ooh, tried to bite me.
Tell you what, we'd better pick some
out of the back numbers and trust to luck.
What's that?
This is a cover for my disguises.
I'll show ya.
King of Norway.
The other way.
And I always thought
you were a keen musician.
Well, I am.
All right then, you play
something while I get on
with the horoscope.
All right, and I might be able to help.
J I can read the future j
j and tell if fate's unkind &
j the stars I've read j
j I look ahead j
j and this is what I find &
j climbing last week j
j a big mountain peak j
j I slipped down a rocky slope &
j I cried as I fell j
j I'm on my way to bed j
j I can tell it by me horoscope j
j my brother Joe j
j pulled a wishbone with flo &
j and said, "for the best let's hope" j
j then he whispered, "ooh j
j me wish is coming true j
j I can tell it by my horoscope” j
j there's lucky colours j
j lucky stones j
j lucky numbers too j
j lucky eight j
jq as sure as fate j
j will always pull me through &
j my cousin Kate j
j is putting on weight &
j I said you're beyond all hope j
j nature's unkind j
j your future's all behind 2
j I can tell it by your horoscope j
j once an old maid j
j said, "I'm afraid j
j my future brings no hope" j
j I said don't give way j
j the troops are home today j
j I can tell it by your horoscope j
j early one morn j
j a baby was born j
j it's father said please don't mope j
j let's jump for joy j
j I know that it's a boy j
j I can tell it by his horoscope j
j there's lucky colours j
j lucky stones j
j there's lucky numbers too j
j lucky eight j
jq as sure as fate j
j will always pull me through &
j I study stars j
j Venus and Mars j
j for Venus there isn't much hope j
j she's all wrapped in gauze j
j with a pair of flannel socks j
j I can tell it by her horoscope j
Why that was lovely.
Will you play again for me some time?
Any time you like.
Good.
Well, I suppose I'd better
be taking our horoscope along
and hope for the best.
And I'll better be getting
off back again to bill.
Good night. - Good night.
Happy dreams.
Ooh.
Ooh!
For 15 years I've been
hen-pecked and I never realised it.
You don't say so, sir.
And then today being my
birthday I happen to glance
at my horoscope: "In domestic
matters you display a lack
of willpower which is at odds
with your true character.
This weakness must be
vanquished at all costs."
At that moment in comes
my wife, nagging as usual.
I pick up the hairbrush and oh...
Send for Ashton, I owe
him a lot of thanks.
I'm afraid he's away
for a few days, sir.
Really?
Well then who wrote this
morning's brilliant horoscope?
Oh, well as a matter of fact-
- it was mostly George gullip, sir.
Gullip? Never heard of him.
He works in the composing room, sir.
Composing room?
Hello, hello. Put me on
to the composing room.
Gullip, lord redhill wants
you in Mr. Brady's office.
Me? What for?
The sack, I hope.
Well, I'll tell your
mother your last thoughts
were of her.
Good bye.
From now on I'm going to reorganise
my home life completely.
Come in.
You sent for me, sir?
Are you gullop?
Gullip, sir.
Come here, gullip.
So you wrote today's horoscope, did you?
Disgraceful fraud, you don't deny that?
Scandalous betrayal of the
ethics of journalism, eh?
And of course you knew it was my birthday?
Oh, yes, yes, he did sir, yes.
Well, it's always been my
policy to give youth a chance.
What's your ambition in life?
Crime, your worship.
I mean, lordship.
Committing?
No, detecting, your lordship.
Well, reporting crime often amounts
to the same thing gallop.
Gullip, sir.
Oh yes, give him a chance
one of these days, Brady.
Be interesting to see what he can do.
- Certainly, sir.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
When do I start?
You heard what he said, gullip.
One of these days.
- I know, but-
- Now hop it, I'm busy.
Get out!
We'd better get some lunch
otherwise we'll be late
for the races.
I'll meet you at the main entrance.
Okay.
You know you are a pal.
Am I?
This is the chance of a
lifetime and I owe it all to you.
Oh, nonsense.
Yes, I'll be able to
use my detector now.
I can show Mr. Brady
how it works on Monday.
Oh, do you think you should?
I don't see why not.
Well, listen, George, it's a great idea
but after all how are you going
to be able to Mark anybody
who doesn't want to be marked?
I've thought of all that.
Well you see it's like this.
You choose anybody you like.
Yes.
I'll ink a sixpence,
I'll put it near them,
they'll pick it up and
they'll Mark their thumb.
Oh, I see.
Well how about that man
over there in the black hat?
Heh, in the bag.
I've got a story here
packed with thrills, tears
and laughter.
Doubtless, sir, but all manuscripts
must be submitted through the post.
A man of my reputation?
Ring the fiction editor.
Very good sir.
Turned out nice, didn't it?
You watch.
I'm sorry sir, he says
you must submit it by post.
Ridiculous, why should I
waste a perfectly good sixpence.
Oh, excuse me, is this your sixpence?
Funny, aren't you?
Well, I nearly got him.
Very nearly.
Well, you'd better go and
get your sixpence back.
Ooh aye.
I'd like to speak to
the news editor, please.
Major Hopkins.
I'll ring through sir.
Anything wrong?
Yes, have you seen
a round sixpence here?
Eh?
I mean, have you seen
a sixpence round here?
No, I haven't.
I'm sorry major Hopkins,
the news editor's out.
All right, I'll ring through later.
Good day.
Bad luck.
Well, never mind.
I've got another sixpence.
I'm gonna prove me detector if it costs me
everything I've got.
What about the queen of sheba?
Yes.
I wish to speak to your
musical critic, vite.
His name's Wilson, madam, not vite.
Whatever his name is tell
him that madame berdi is here.
I think he left for the
Stockholm music festival.
I'll make sure, madame.
Ah.
Now I won't look, you tell me.
Look, she's seen it.
You've won, good for you.
Quick, go and get your sixpence.
- Ah.
- Ooh.
What is it?
Nothing.
Oh, you poor thing.
You are unlucky.
Well, never mind.
It was worth it to prove it to you.
Hey, what are you doing here?
I was just showing
miss. Brown my detector.
Your what?
Would you like to see it?
No, I shouldn't.
Now, where would you like to go dear?
Majestic palace? Anywhere you like.
Hello, George.
Hello.
Was it the sack?
No.
Then what are you
looking so miserable for?
Well, it's that fellow Brady.
I mean, taking miss. Brown out to lunch.
What chance have I got when he takes her
the majestic palace?
I can only afford a fish and chip shop.
Say, George.
What?
How much money have you got saved up?
About a couple of quid.
That's grand.
You've got the money,
I've got the information.
We can make our fortune
this afternoon at the races.
I'm having nothing to do with it, no.
Now George, I've got
a tip for this afternoon
that can't go wrong.
We split 50/50.
You can make enough money to take the girl
wherever you want to take her.
No, no and no. I'm having
nothing to do with horses.
But George-
- no.
What, what's its name?
Hello, Carey.
Oh, hello Brady.
Not hoping to pick up
any clues here are you?
You never know.
Anything'd be better than nothing.
As bad as that?
Between you and me.
Okay, I won't use it.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Race cards.
Race card.
Thank you very much, sir.
Hello, steamroller.
New line for you, isn't it?
What's wrong with selling race cards?
Nothing.
As long as you're only selling race cards.
Then why don't you leave me alone?
- All right.
- Race card.
Here you are lady.
Race card.
Race card.
There you go, sir.
Thank you.
Hey!
Race card, sir?
2:30's the race and
we're backing every horse.
What? All of 'em?
Yes, all of 'em.
And cover as many bookies
as'll take the money.
But the phantom can't lose.
Put all the slush on the phantom
and we get all the more
real dough in the winnings.
You do as you're told.
I'm not taking any chances.
Even with outsiders.
Here.
All right then.
Race card. Race card.
Number five, that's lollypop.
That's bound to get licked.
Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle.
Well I thought it was funny.
Shh.
All the results,
"star news" and "standard".
You're number eight.
Number eight? Golden boy.
There you are, told you so.
What about it?
Look, golden boy,
Violet cap and sleeves.
There it is.
There's the horse that's
gonna make our fortune.
Shut up.
What are they laughing at?
Just a lot of mugs, that's all.
Give me the money, hand it over.
Of course you would make
it more difficult for me.
Why lock it up in a moneybox?
Well, I mean that's the place-
- what do we do now?
They'll be off any minute.
Ah.
Ooh, hey!
Here, why don't you have the key?
Oh, will you go in the
stand and find a place
while I get the money on.
Give me two dollars, phantom.
Phantom,
hello Brady.
See you've got your typewriter with you.
Well I...
Tell me, who's that very
attractive woman over there?
Your bag.
Thank you very much.
Not at all.
That's madam berdi, the singer.
Oh, is it?
Yes, she's very angry with "the sun".
Wilson described her voice
as almost as stunning
as her looks and she
took it the wrong way.
Oh, good heavens, I
must apologise at once.
Introduce me.
Sure.
Here we are George.
What do you think of that?
30 quid to come.
Then we've won 30 quid?
Almost. Look out, they'll soon be off.
I hope we've done right.
Of course we've done right.
30 quid.
Look, 888, that proves it.
Proves what?
Why look, Violet and
eight, it's in the stars.
Oh, then we're all right then.
Yes.
Ashton's never wrong.
At least never on Saturdays.
Well that's good because
now that Ashton's...
Did you say Ashton?
Yes.
Let's have a look.
Oh...
What's the matter?
Ashton didn't write that.
I wrote it.
My pal.
Loves to have his little joke.
Oh no it's true.
That's why lord redhill
sent for me in his office this morning.
Yes I know...
Wait, what?
Phantom's in front.
Oh, good.
What's that coming through?
Want a pass out, sir?
What won?
Golden boy.
What?
Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
888.
- 888.
- 888.
We're looking for nothing but 888.
We'll never find it.
We've gotta find it.
Ooh, my finger, you daft thing.
Oh, don't do that.
- 888.
- 888.
Hey, haven't we enough
without adding more to it?
What are you doing?
887.
Oh, 888. Every number but 888-
- I've got it, I've got it.
Then give it to me.
Here we are, 30 quid.
Right. 10, 20, 30.
- There you are, 30 pounds.
- Thank you.
Look George, look. 30 quid.
Whoopee.
Now for a drink and what a drink.
There's somebody over there
I particularly want to see.
Will you be all right for a minute?
Yes, of course.
Right-oh.
George!
Well what are you doing here?
I've made a fortune,
I've made a fortune.
- What?
- Come on George.
All right, but I'd like
you to come too miss. Brown.
Will you?
Well, all right.
Take the order my
dear, drinks all round on me.
What about a tune guv'nor?
Why not?
Hello miss. Brown.
Has he told you what I've done for him?
He certainly has.
Aye, and he's right too.
J can't help grinning j
j I've been winning j
j had a real good do j
j and now I'm telling you j
j grey skies are turning blue j
j what a racket &
j what a packet j&
j I have won today j
j troubles over &
j I'min clover j
j everything's okay j
j I feel like a millionaire j
j I'm all deluxe and how j
j I'm in the money tasting the honey j
j hitting the high spots now j
j all my frowns have turned to smiles j
j no wrinkles on my brow j
j I'm stepping out more j
j getting about more j
j hitting the high spots now j
j life is what you make it j
j so make it worth while j
j whatever comes just take it j
j you've got to swing
along and get in rhythm j
j I'm on top of all the world j
j I'm making good and how j
j turning the switch on j
j putting the ritz on j
j hitting the high spots now j
J I'll be living like a lord j
j the lord knows who or how j
j I'm in the right school j
j going to night school j
j hitting the high spots now j
j horses, women, wine and song j
j and greyhounds too, bow-wow j
j when there's a cert on j
j putting me shirt on j
j hitting the high spots now j
j life is what you make it j
j so make it worth while j
j whatever comes just take it j
j you've got to swing
along and get in rhythm j
j in the best society j
j I soon will make my bow j
j dressed up tricky j
j with a clean shirton j
j hitting the high spots j
j I'll be a big shot j
j hitting the high spots now j
good boy, George.
That was grand.
Did you like it miss. Brown?
How about Mary for a change?
You mean I can call you Mary?
Well, why not?
Well, miss. Brown, Mary, now
that I've got a lot of money,
I feel daft saying it.
Do you think you'd come
out with me sometime?
I'd love to.
Do you mean you would?
Yes.
Well I think I'd better
be getting back now.
Mr. Brady will be wondering where I am.
I suppose he will.
Cheerio everybody.
Good luck.
Good bye.
Bye-bye.
A tenner.
Oh, haven't you got anything smaller?
Sorry, nothing smaller.
I've got some fivers.
How much do you want?
Well, 30 quid.
Oh, that's easy my lad.
That's grand. Have a drink, old pal?
No thanks.
What a mug.
Here you are dear, that's better.
Five pounds.
Aye-aye, just a minute, just a minute.
Who do you think you are?
Detective inspector Carey.
What? A real detective?
I thought so, slush.
Slush!
Well, what about our money?
'Fraid I'll have to confiscate that.
Hello, what's the matter?
Get your lorry going.
I've gotta hop it.
Quick. - Right.
Well now I'll not be
able to take miss. Brown,
I mean Mary, out after all.
If I could only get me hands on him.
Look, that's him.
All right, all right, what's the idea.
Come on.
Beg your pardon.
What the blazes?
Te == et ep ae
Bit of luck finding you like that.
Soon as you can you'd
better let the boss
know what happened.
Any idea where he'll be tonight?
Yes, at the...
Blinking draught round here, isn't there?
Just as I was getting a clue.
Clue my foot.
He's got our money, that's all I know.
The first stop I'm gonna
hand him over to the police.
No, you can't do that,
it'll spoil everything.
We've got to track him.
What for?
Well, he'll lead us to the headquarters
of the gang, the slushers.
And on the way I'm gonna
Mark it with me detector.
Oh.
Half a mo, half a mo.
But we want to see a man about-
- and so do a lot of others.
You pay at the pay box.
We'll have to wait til he comes out.
I say, how much you got left?
Two and tuppence.
That's a shilling each.
We can just make it.
But that only leaves me with tuppence.
No, listen.
I'll stay at the exit and
see that he doesn't get out.
You go and see if you can
find him in the swimming bath.
Me in the swimming bath?
No... now don't tell me
you can't swim?
Yes, no.
Yes, I can swim like a duck.
Well, what are you worrying about?
Bathing suits sixpence extra
and I've only got tuppence.
Oh, never mind.
Go and get the tickets anyway.
Tickets.
Days are drawing in a bit, aren't they?
Won't be long before
we see Christmas now.
Don't forget to hang
up the old stocking.
Got the tickets?
Yeah, but it's a waste of two Bob.
Straight on.
Straight through, hold that will you.
Now listen, just duck
inside and get changed
while I scout round a bit.
Don't be daft, I haven't got a costume.
Costume.
No, well can't you put it on?
I don't mind but what size do you take?
32.
32itis.
40 I take.
You go inside, it's you.
Don't worry, you swim
like a duck, don't you?
Yeah, but ducks don't have costumes.
That's right, you get inside.
I'll see you later.
No swimming?
No, mate.
Saturday's wrestling night.
If you want a go at the tiger
he's taking on all covers.
That's very kind of him.
Of all the crazy halfwits,
what did you want to go
and do a thing like that for?
They'll have him down on
us like a tonne of bricks.
I didn't mean no harm guv'nor.
There's a purse of five
quid, five beautiful quid,
for the person who stands
up to the terrible tiger
for three minutes.
Three beautiful minutes.
Been in?
Not likely?
Why? Too cold?
Too hot.
Too hot? Ooh, I like it hot.
Ah, ha.
The answer to a maiden's prayer.
Come along, sir. We need you.
Me?
I can see at a glance
you're gonna wipe the floor
with the poor old tiger.
Me?
Yes, sir, you.
Your name, sir?
Your name, sir?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. aberaber challenges
the terrible tiger for
five beautiful quid.
Now listen, no biting, no
gouging and no hair pulling.
Don't tell me, tell him.
Any oil? Any grease?
Look, look, look.
Hello, what's this?
Oh, well I put these on because-
- no, me? No, me no fight him.
No, no, no.
Because I didn't want to-
I mean... look, look.
Okay, okay.
Hey, get away. Somebody stop him.
Mother.
Hey.
Get away you cheeky fast cat, go away.
Clean fight tiger.
How you doing tiger?
Mother, get away.
Blimey, it's one of the
geezers I worked the slush on.
What?
Come on out of here,
before the fight finishes.
Mother!
Stop this.
Wring his neck.
Oh I can't look, I can't look.
Mother!
Break it up.
We want a murder.
Go on tiger.
Hey, get away.
Get away.
Gouge his eyeballs.
Ooh.
Mother!
I'll stop the fight.
Like a smoke, pal?
Why don't you stop?
Oi, my hat pin.
How you doing, tiger?
Give him the works.
Stop him.
Get away.
Mother!
Eight, nine, out.
Think of it George, you win five quid.
That's two pounds 10 each.
Yes, but what about the slushers?
They've gone.
Gone?
Gone.
Do you mean to say while
I've been going through
all that you let them go?
Congratulations my boy,
you can take on the world.
The world?
The world.
Do you mean that?
Yes.
Not me, George.
Oh well, see you in the.
Mary.
Yes, Mr. Brady?
What's been the matter with you all day?
Something upsetting you?
You know perfectly well.
Oh, don't tell me
it's still that gullip?
Well, I after all I
do think it's a shame
when he's just got the chance-
- just look at this.
I cleaned up a couple of
hundred on the last race
at Norton and now my
bank manager tells me the
that most of it's sludge.
Slush, sir.
Slush. - Counterfeit.
No question about it.
Me, I, redhill of "the sun".
Redhill, had for a mug.
But sir-
- you'll run a front page.
Lord redhill to rid racecourses
of slush racketeers.
Offers 500 pounds for
anyone giving information
that'll lead to the arrest of the gang.
A very generous offer, sir.
Yeah, I'll get busy right away, sir.
And if I may say so, I-
- oh yes, yes, yes.
I know what you're going to
say and I admit I was wrong.
From now on sludge, slush, is
going to be the main feature
of the paper.
I'm going to fix this
gang once and for all.
It's a national disgrace.
George, lord redhill
has offered 500 pounds
to anybody who can find the slush gang
and bring them to justice.
He has?
Yes, and look at this.
Well, what about it?
A dud fiver that was paid
out to him at the races.
And look, your Mark.
Soitis.
But how did it get there?
I know, the woman I marked.
That's right, madame
berdi the opera singer.
What? Her in the slush racket?
Don't make me laugh.
Come to think of it I
saw her betting heavily
with five pound notes.
There you are.
I'll go and tell Mr. Brady.
George, and let him get the reward?
Oh no you're not, you're
going to have it yourself.
Am I?
Well, what am I gonna do?
Well first of all
you've got to make sure
that it is this madame berd.I.
But how?
Well, get another fingerprint
and compare it with this.
You'll have to get into her house somehow.
What, me?
Oh Vicky, this stuff you
gave me is absolutely useless.
Well the chemist guaranteed it.
But what am I to do?
All these important people coming
and I look as if I've
come out of a coal hole.
What's that?
Not one of the guests already?
Oh, no, no.
Probably extra waiters from the agency.
Oh, stop fidgeting George
and try and look like a reporter.
Well, what are we going
to interview her about?
Should girls wear pyjamas
or old-fashioned nighties,
or anything?
Or anything?
Oh, I couldn't ask a lady
a question like that.
Don't worry, [I'll do all the talking.
All you have to do is
to take the camera out.
While you're posing her for
a photograph get her to Mark
a piece of paper.
Yeah, but if the lady
won't Mark the paper-
- good evening.
I was afraid you were
going to be late. Follow me.
Late?
Get inside.
Got your things in there?
Yes.
Well you better change in the cloakroom?
Change?
You don't usually wait
in lounge suits, do you?
Wait, for what?
Ah, George will have his little joke.
Well keep it to yourselves.
You're hired as waiters, not entertainers.
What do you want?
Madame's shouting for you.
When you've changed,
go into the kitchen.
Okay, miss.
Eh, what's to do?
What's going on here?
Don't you see, she thinks
were a couple of hired waiters.
Let her think.
All the easier to get the Mark.
We're gonna get a thick
ear if we're not careful.
We can't wait, we'll
have to have black suits
and I want a Dickie.
Yes, don't worry.
Hey, what are you gonna do?
Leave it to me, I'm
gonna see the hall Porter.
Hey, look, the waiters.
Hey, quick, in the
kitchen, keep 'em busy.
What, me?
Take their photos, anything
you like only give me time
to deal with the waiters.
Well, what are you gonna do?
Don't worry, get inside.
Turned out nice again, hasn't it?
Has it?
You ought to be changing.
Yes, I know, but you
see my pal he's a bit shy
and he doesn't like anybody watching
while he's changing you see.
What are you gonna do then? Dress here?
Yes. No, no.
No, I thought, you see, while I was here
I could take your photograph.
Oh, look, what a funny thing
for a waiter to carry around.
Yes, well you see the places I work,
I mean, nightclubs and-
- night clubs?
Do you know the underworld?
Well no, I've never met her.
Oh, underworld?
Oh, yes, I can show you.
J up the west end j
j that's the best end j
j where the night clubs thrive j&
j down into a dive j
jyougo jd
j now there's a jazz queen j
j she's a has been j
j has been lord knows what j
j every night she's there &
j on show j
j she dances underneath a magic spell j
j she's full of charm j&
j and beer and stout as well j
j she's 66 but she looks 16 j
j her friends don't know
her now her face is clean j
j that's fanlight Fanny, the
frowsy night club queen j
j see her glide around the floor j
j then glide around
into the pub next door j
j that's fanlight Fanny, the
frowsy night club queen j
j she looks well in the lime j&
j a queen all the time j
j you get your money's worth j
j by day you'd say it's
her second time on earth j
j every morn at the break of day j
j they call for the empties
and they cart away j
j fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
j by Ted she's followed j
j and when she's collared &
j the judge she always cheeks j
j twice a month, two weeks j
j she'll do &
j she's often boasted j
j she's been toasted j
j toasted by her friends j
j she ought to be cremated too j
j you can't tell if she's
brunette or a blonde j
j she's like something
you'd drag out of a pond j
j now she's a peach but understand j
j she's called a peach
because she's always canned j
j that's fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
j when she's dressed she's like Mae west j
j she wears two saucepan
lids upon her chest j&
j that's fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
j she looks well in the lime j&
j a queen all the time j
j you get your money's worth j
j by day you'd say it's
her second time on earth j
j she waltzes in the west end shops j
j then she waltzes out
in between two cops j
j that's fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
Hey!
Sorry to break up the party ladies
but my friend's got to come and change.
Out.
Oh, I think he's beautiful.
Yes? Oh, get on with your work.
There you are.
Well what's these?
Your clothes.
Well, what's happened to the waiters?
Oh, they're hanging around.
Ooh, murder.
Oh, just a couple of taps on the bean.
They'll be all right.
No, come on.
Shh. Coming.
Get changed quickly. Quickly.
He won't be a moment.
Well, tell him to hurry.
Madame will be down at any moment
and her nerves are very much on edge.
Oh, something upset her?
A tiresome stain on her
finger that nothing'll get off.
You may tell madame she
need have no further worry.
Why?
My friend in there
is a brilliant pharma,
pharma, pharmacutelist.
A what?
Removing stains is his specialty.
Oh, I'll tell madame at once.
Splendid.
I won't do it.
What? And throw 500 quid down the drain?
But what am I going to say to her?
Get her to Mark a piece of paper.
Yeah, but how?
Tell her it's a test, to see
what sort of a stain it is.
When you've got that, remove the stain.
It's too easy.
Well, why don't you do it?
Madame will see him at once.
Here, take your bottle.
Yeah, but-
- I'll put your clothes in
here, leave it in the hall
in case we have to make a quick getaway.
Yeah. Ooh.
This way.
Are those all the implements you carry?
Well, you see, this is a
secret process of my own.
Oh.
Madame will be here in a minute.
Was that you at my bathroom door?
Well, I beg your pardon,
but I thought somebody
was doing you in.
Do mein?
Yes.
That was Wagner.
Well, d'you think he'll
mind me being in here?
No, no, no, no.
Wagner, opera.
Oh, well, that's different, isn't it?
So you are the expert, yes?
Yes, I'm the expert.
Well then, come along,
come along, come along.
What are you waiting for?
Well, what's the matter?
You'll catch your death of cold.
Oh, don't be so silly.
Sit down. Hurry up.
Well, now first of all I must ask you
to make an impression.
What?
Me, madame berdi, to make
an impression on you?
No, no, no. On the piece of paper.
See, I'll show you, with your thumb.
Oh, I see.
For one moment I thought you.
Ooh, couldn't be better.
What?
I mean, I've got the
stuff to take it off with.
Well, stop wasting time
with that piece of paper,
take the Mark off my thumb.
I suppose that liquid is
something very special.
Oh yes, it's my own private invention.
Naturally. Look, it's coming off.
Course, if you know how to
do it it doesn't take long.
It's gone.
Oh, thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you.
Yes? - Oh boy.
Oh, is that you darling?
No, don't be so silly
of course I'll be there.
11.30, Maxim's. Good bye darling.
Oh, no, you mustn't do that.
How dare you?
Well I-
- so you are what they
call a peeping Thomas, yes?
No, it's that paper.
Will you please get out
of here, I'm in a hurry.
I want, I want-
- get out.
But you don't understand-
- get out.
By gum, it's a long way down this lift.
There we are.
Can you manage?
I hope so.
Mind, it's hot.
You're telling me.
Excuse me.
Gangway. Gangway.
Excuse me.
Clumsy idiot.
Well, it was burning me fingers.
I thought you removed
stains, not made them.
Go and hand round those drinks.
Ah, that's better.
I'm glad of that, sir.
Where's my handkerchief?
If your overcoat probably.
Through there, sir.
Straight through.
- Thank you.
- Well, did you get it?
Well, no. You see it was like this.
I was just going to and-
- why aren't you handing
round those drinks?
Come along, do hurry.
You're frightfully slow.
I'll tell you later.
Drink, mrs?
Divine.
Drink, mrs?
Divine.
Cocktail?
Well, just one perhaps.
Strictly against doctor's orders.
Indigestion, sir?
Hallucinations.
Divine.
Oh!
This should
be an interesting party,
don't you think?
Should be, dear lady?
Well, isn't it rather unkind
of madame berdi to be so late?
Well these prima Donnas do get detained.
Ah, my dear professor.
How nice to see you again.
Well I don't get very far from my work
these days, you know.
Oh, dear lady vanson,
how nice to see you.
How are you? And how is your husband?
I saw someone the other
day who knew him so well.
Oh dear mrs-
Ooh.
Oh Mrs. Mason, I thought
I should see you here.
I know how devoted you are to the arts.
Why aren't you serving those drinks?
That's enough out of you. Get busy.
Good evening everybody.
How can you ever forgive
me for being so late?
How are you madame? How are you?
How nice of you-
- ah, madame berd.I.
Ah, sir William.
Well, did you get the Mark?
Yes, I got it on a piece of paper.
Then what are we waiting here for?
But she put the piece of paper
in the top of her stocking.
What?
Yes.
We'll have to get another.
Well we can't, I've taken
the stain off her thumb.
You would.
I did.
You idling again?
Take this fruit round.
Go on.
As I was saying to the French ambassador
only this afternoon, you
can say what you like
about these other prima
Donnas but there are none
who can compare with madame berd.I.
How sweet of you.
Fruit, mrs?
You daft thing, look what you've done.
My apologies madame.
To your very good health.
Get under the table and get that paper.
Oh, I couldn't do that.
It's your own fault for not
getting it the first time.
Get under.
Yes, indeed, some of the
others may have beautiful voices
but none can come within
a mile of you, my dear.
You flatter me, sir William.
Not at all.
When it comes to feeling
there's something about
your lower register, I
don't know what it is,
I can't even describe it,
but it seems to raise one
to a higher, a more spiritual plane.
Sir William, you are drunk.
I beg your pardon?
Might I possibly have a
word with you in private?
Certainly, professor.
But what have I done?
You know perfectly well.
Sir William, how nice to see you again.
Do you know I saw a great
friend of yours the other day
who was with you through all the horrors
of the Russian revolution.
I can hardly describe the horrors
of the that winter of 1918.
As I lay there in my
prison cell I could hear
the firing squad at work.
Hey, what's to do?
Wrong table you fool.
She's moved over there.
Go on, it's worth 500 quid.
You daft thing.
And I can assure you
that there is no more deserving charity.
Good evening, sir.
Good evening.
Haven't I seen your face before somewhere?
Well, sir, I have a twin brother, sir.
I'll put your hat and things
in the cloakroom, my lord.
How dare you.
I beg your pardon.
Once again I am insulted.
Oh my dear madame berdi,
I'm so sorry to be late.
I hope I'm not butting in?
By no means. Not at all.
May I join you?
Please do, lord redhill.
I should be delighted.
Would you care for some soup, my lord?
Soup?
Thank you, yes, that would be very nice.
I hope you're a more agreeable companion
than the average englishman.
Don't worry my dear, I've spent most
of my life on the continent.
What's the matter?
Nothing, madame. Nothing.
I hope you will enjoy this soup,
I have ordered it specially for you.
May I talk to you very confidentially?
A dear woman, my wife, but she
doesn't understand me at all.
It's very lonely when
one's not understood.
That's why it's such a pleasure to meet
a broadminded person like yourself.
Well I never.
I suppose that is what you
call the freedom of the press.
I have never been so
insulted in my life.
I shall leave this house at once.
Oh, my.
I've got it.
I've got it. Look.
Help. Murder.
The waiters.
Ooh.
Quick, follow me down the fire escape.
Where's that gullip? I'll show him.
I'll show him.
I know he's in here somewhere.
I'll have him.
He must be here somewhere.
Gallop!
No, gullip, sir.
Stop him, stop him. Stop him.
There he goes.
- Get him.
- Ooh, mother!
Ha ha, never touched me!
May we come in?
Well, hello.
What on earth are you
in those clothes for?
Oh, just one of our disguises.
Yes, but they're all messed up.
Well, we've had a bit
of a dust up with the gang
but they couldn't stop us
from getting what we went for.
You've got it? Well done.
Are they the same?
Of course they're the same.
Well, let's have a look
in the magnifying glass.
Oh look, they're both exactly...
Different.
But they can't be.
Do you mean to say
after I've risked my neck-
- oh, now, now bill.
I've got it.
It must've been that
fellow I marked by mistake.
That's right.
What was his name?
Oh, major...
Oh George, you must remember.
It must be him, it can't be anybody else.
It started with f.
- F?
- Phillips.
No, no. Something to do with fruit.
Raspberry?
No, that's a noise.
Hops?
- Hopkins. Major Hopkins.
- Hopkins.
Good old bill.
Well, I mean to say after
all what's your head for?
To put your hat on.
Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle.
Here we are. Here we are.
Major Hopkins, 17 candlemas mansions...
I've never known such a day.
What with telephone calls and tradesmen,
and now, on top of it all, this error
of eightpence in the accounts.
Well, my dear, eightpence
isn't going to break us.
It's the principle of the thing.
I simply shan't rest til I find it.
You'll find it in the morning.
Eightpence. Such an odd amount.
Now, you get along to bed.
I believe it was...
No. No, I paid that.
Well, what do you want?
Good evening, sir.
It's turned out nice again, hasn't it?
We represent the "daily sun".
Oh?
We're running a new column,
"candid opinions from the
fireside" and we thought-
- well, you can think again.
That's torn it.
Did you see it?
What?
Piles of notes on his desk?
Slush?
Yes. Let me get up here, quick.
Steady. Steady.
Slush.
Slush. Slush.
He's putting it away in his safe.
Probably going to bed.
You daft thing.
- George.
- What?
Somehow or other we've
got to get those notes
out of the safe and take
them to police headquarters.
Yes, who is it?
Inspector Carey here sir.
Have you had time to examine
that bundle of slush I sent round?
Yes, hardly a flaw in it.
The more expert they
get the more difficult
they're going to be to track down.
I can't help that.
As I've told you before I will not
have my police organisation laughed at.
Somehow or other you've
got to get results.
Stop arguing George.
Here have I practically got you the reward
and all you can do is to argue.
Yeah, well why can't you do it?
What's the matter with you?
You told me yourself he's
left the window open.
I know I did but I was-
- well, all you've got to do
is go along the fire escape.
Fire escape? I can't do that.
In through the window
and open the door for me.
Yes, I know, but-
- while I do the difficult
task of getting the tools
to open the safe.
But I can't stand heights.
Get out.
And bill. No, but.
No, no, you.
Bill.
Bill.
Bill!
Alfred! Alfred!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Somebody save me, I'm slipping.
Somebody stop me.
My dear Agnes, do stop worrying
about that wretched eightpence.
It's the principle of the thing.
Good night, my dear.
Ooh!
Everything all right?
Yes.
We'll have to hurry up.
I only borrowed these.
Who from?
A fellow outside,
mending the tram lines.
Where's major Hopkins?
In there.
Right.
Shh.
Ooh!
It's all right, he's going to sleep.
Come on. Shh.
Shh, quiet. Shh!
Locked.
Let me have a do.
You're right, it's locked.
Well, we'll have to
get busy on the hinges.
Take your coat off.
Here you are, hold these.
You hold that, I'll hit it.
No, you hold it and I'll hit it.
Don't argue, hold it.
Oh.
We'll have to use the blow lamp.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Ouch!
Stop jumping about.
Well, what about-
- shh!
Oh stop shushing, you're drowning me.
Here, if we can only burn
through that it's a cinch.
Now quietly. Shh.
Carry on George, I'm going to investigate.
How's it coming?
Won't be long now.
Well, hurry up, hurry up.
You daft thing, you know I'm ticklish.
Mind, see if it's coming loose.
Shh!
Well how can I shush when you
keep on burning holes in me?
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Shut up you fool, they'll hear us.
Eightpence.
Shut up.
Eightpence.
Shut up.
- Eightpence.
- Oh!
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
I think she's sleepwalking.
Well, what are you gonna do?
Make sure.
How?
Leave it to me.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Oh, what did you want to do that for?
I couldn't help it.
Just in time.
Ooh, the slush.
Putit in the sack.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Here's fanlight Fanny back again.
- Eightpence.
- Here's 20 quid.
Stop it, will you, you know I'm ticklish.
Put 'em up.
Oh, oh.
Don't shoot, please.
Don't.
Get me police headquarters.
I didn't. I didn't.
You've murdered him.
You've killed him.
He's all right.
What do we do now?
I know, put him in the sack.
What for?
Take him along to police headquarters.
Oh yes.
And on the way...
Don't make me laugh.
The head of the slush racket in that sack.
Well, let's have a look at him.
Not until you get the
chief of the police.
There's a 500 pound reward for this,
and no one's butting in.
Lie down and speak
when you're spoken to.
What's this?
These men say they've got
the head of the slush racket.
What?
Yes, the master mind.
Are you the chief of police?
He's at home in bed.
Well, can't you get him up.
Of course not.
Very good.
For you, sir.
The major's flat. Sounds important.
So happens this is the chief.
Hello.
Major Hopkins. He's been
kidnapped, in his pyjamas.
Don't worry Mrs. Hopkins,
we'll soon get him back for you.
Warn all cars, major Hopkins kidnapped.
Every conveyance to be searched.
Major Hopkins kidnapped.
Send two men round to his flat at once.
Did you say, "Hopkins,"?
Yes.
Ooh.
Have every barrier
watched at every station.
17 candlemas mansions?
Yes.
Well, we'll see you in the morning.
I can see you're busy now,
we'll come back again.
Open that sack.
Well, well you see we didn't mean to-
- what's happened?
Where the blazes am I?
Turned out nice again, hasn't it?
So you thought you'd caught the head
of the slush racket, eh?
Yes, I thought it was in the bag.
Hello, you still here?
Yes, I'm waiting for someone.
Not George gullip, the printer's error.
If you knew what he was doing
at this moment you might not
think he was such a joke.
Ah, now let me guess.
I know, he's at wapping
old stairs capturing a gang
of crooks single-handed.
That's not so far off either.
Or better still, he's running
the slush gang to earth.
Got it, in two guesses.
Say, you're not pulling my leg are you?
Well, who are they?
The leader of the gang
is a man called Hopkins.
Hopkins?
Yes, George rang up just now.
They actually discovered
him working on the slush.
Not, not major Hopkins?
Why yes. Do you know him?
Do I know him?
My dear, he's only chief of police.
What?
Where's that galley proof?
They were just doing an article on him.
Yes, but that's impossible.
He left his Mark on the
note and everything-
- Mark?
What Mark?
George's detector.
And the only two people
whose fingers he's marked
were madame berdi and
Hopkins, so it must be one.
I think I'd better be getting home now.
It's getting rather late.
Just one minute.
You're quite sure you're
going straight home?
Why yes, of course.
You weren't thinking of
calling in at a police station
by any chance?
You know, finger prints are
remarkably damning things.
I'd like to point out, in
case you want to scream
or anything, that I've
got a gun in my pocket.
Don't forget it.
Riverbank 2814.
What made your friend
George suspect me enough
to Mark my finger?
I didn't know he had.
Oh, don't talk nonsense.
You were in here with
him the other morning
when he upset his bottles
over the bell push.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see, so it was a mistake.
Dear George gullip doesn't
suspect me after all.
Hello, blue star brewery?
Bridgewater?
This is Brady here, I'm
bringing you a visitor down.
A young woman who's
remarkably well-informed.
I've persuaded her she needs a sea voyage.
Yes, just a couple of months
while we get things cleared up.
All right. I'll be down right away.
Good bye.
Ah, sorry, sir, thought you'd gone.
We have.
I bet she'll have a
fur coat before long.
We're a couple of mugs
if ever there was one.
I phoned Mary and told her
that we were coming back
to collect the reward.
Well, if that police chief
hadn't been such a decent
fellow we wouldn't be coming back at all.
I know that.
Here, Brady's car.
Good, then he'll not be able
to sack me til the morning.
Come in.
Oh, excuse me. Have you seen her?
Who?
Mary. Miss. Brown.
I mean Mr. Brady's secretary.
They went out together
a few minutes ago.
Together?
Couldn't have been closer
together if they'd tried.
Almost made me blush.
Come on.
See if we can get a drink.
Here, be a pal and answer it.
I don't understand them things.
Hello, who's there?
Lord redhill?
Ooh. Hello, lord redhill.
Yes sir.
No I'm sorry, Mr. Brady's gone out.
Could I take a message, sir?
Yes sir, one moment please.
Piece of paper bill?
Just a moment your lordship.
Yes sir, I'm on my way with
police officers to charge two
of my staff, George
gallop, no, gullip, sir.
Ooh.
Here, let's get out of here.
- Yes, come on.
- Here, haven't I enough
to clear up as it is?
Sorry.
Don't fuss. In the tray.
In the tray.
Good heavens it's Mary. She's in danger.
Come on, let's go and get her.
Not me. I've had enough for one night.
She's at the blue star brewery.
That's different.
Oil
Hello?
Who?
Can't hear.
Who?
Oh, good evening your lordship.
They've just nipped it
to the blue star brewery.
Well, what do we do now?
Shh, don't make such a noise.
Look out, there's a blue star Van.
Bill, look.
It's the chap that drove
the Van at the races.
Is it?
Come on, jump to it mate.
All right, all right.
Come on boys, quickly. Over there.
Any more in there?
That's the idea.
Quick as you can boys.
Brady?
With the fellow who passed the slush.
There's something fishy going on here.
I don't like the look of it.
Here we've got a classy
little brewing concern,
a1, first class reputation
then you start unloading
kidnapped women on us.
It's asking for trouble.
Hear, hear.
Shut up.
I tell you there's not
the slightest danger.
Even if the police walk in
they'd never discover the presses.
I daresay, but that doesn't make
that girl any the less dangerous.
You get her out of here before daylight.
Where'd you park her?
In the waiting room.
Waiting room.
Quick. We gotta get her out of there.
You'll be back at the "daily sun"
tomorrow morning as usual.
We shall need your stories to
keep the police off the scent
more than ever now.
Yes, but-
- don't argue.
Get that girl on board the blue horizon.
She sails at daybreak.
Chelsea, they've let
me down week after week.
Come on useless.
Okay.
Is that all you've gotta do?
Go on, get on with your work.
George.
You go and fetch the police
while bill and I find where
the presses are hidden.
Yes but I-
- now go and fetch the police.
Yes but-
- don't argue, go and fetch the police.
Better leave all the talking to me.
Then you keep her quiet in there
while I see about the boat.
Hey, Bert. Where's she gone?
It won't take long if
you put your backs into it.
Better move this lot first.
Over there.
Okay.
Now come on, if we're quick
we might still catch her.
Okay.
Hello? Hello, police headquarters.
I'm speaking from near
the blue star brewery-
- hello?
Hello?
Make him let me go, he's hurting me.
He'll hurt you a lot more
if you don't keep quiet.
Help! Help!
She's fainted boss.
Good, bring her inside.
Okay.
Why haven't you started?
We have.
Looks like it.
Yeah, but we-
- that's enough from you.
Get on with it. Both of ya.
Well it beats me.
Now, keep her the other
side of the far door.
Okay.
Don't worry, she won't see
nothing. She's just fainted.
Oh, you must have breathed on her.
Yes, that's right mate.
Throw us down a bit of rope, Fred?
If you want any help, let me know.
Okay.
Well, we don't seem to
be making much impression
with this lot.
Jim, you're wanted in the printing room.
What for?
Something wrong with the press.
They want to print all the slush they can.
What's that?
Must have been those
onions I had for supper.
How many more times must I
tell you to shift these crates?
Well, it's like there's-
- don't argue. Get on with it.
Hey!
Ooh.
Who the devil are you?
I don't know.
What are you doing here?
Well you see it was a mistake.
We were wandering round and
we took the wrong turning.
What's the matter with the lights?
Ooh, they're probably
changing over at the mains.
Come on. Quick.
Quick, someone's in the store room.
Blimey.
Well, we'll have to be getting along.
Yes, very. Good night.
Good night boys.
Good night.
Ooh.
Ooh.
I caught them in here a few minutes ago.
Oh, it's you is it?
Are they dangerous?
I'll say so.
Get 'em boys.
- Come on.
- Come on.
Ooh.
Quick. Creep up and overturn
the crates on top of 'em.
Ooh.
There they are!
Go on, after them.
Go on.
Go on, after them.
Go on.
Bill? Bill?
Ooh.
Oh. Ooh.
Go on, after him.
Mother.
Ooh.
Now get back and look after that girl.
That's a mug's job.
Where's that pal of yours?
I don't know.
Cops.
Now keep your heads.
Any questions, you're
the ordinary night shift.
One word from you and it'll be your last.
Take it away.
Ah, so there you are gallop.
Oh, gullip, sir.
Oh, gullip then.
Take him away officer.
I didn't mean any harm sir.
Harm? What do you call this?
I was unconscious
for an hour and a half.
Well I, well...
Ah, Brady, charwoman told you too, eh?
Yes, that's right sir.
Ooh, no, I'm going to
tell even if I don't live
to get the reward.
Reward? What on earth
are you talking about?
Well, I've found the slushers.
Oh obviously a lunatic.
Take him away.
I'm not as daft as I look.
I've got a witness.
Bill. Bill.
J I hear you calling me j
there you are.
You know all about the
slushers, don't you, bill?
My old pal lord redhill.
Bill, pull yourself together.
Here, take him away. Come on.
Well, if you don't believe
me ring up police headquarters.
Miss. Brown'll be there by now.
Come on will ya.
No you can't. No-
- come on.
- No, you can't.
I'm tired of your excuses.
Take him away.
Look!
Look, the presses, I told ya.
Bless my soul.
Quick, get 'em in.
Here, open that door. Open the door.
Quick, up the ladder.
Come on bill. Come on.
Quick. After them.
- Hurry up.
- Come on.
They'll catch us. Hurry up.
So gallop was right after all.
Well, what are we going to do?
What about a little
game of find the lady?
What? Look for women
at a time like this?
Hurry up.
Quick, the crane.
You'll be all right.
Go and get the police.
Are you ready?
George, I think you're wonderful.
Ooh.
Oh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
They must be here somewhere.
Search the barrels.
Come on. Quick.
Come on, hurry up.
I've got him boys.
Let's have him.
Okay.
Quick.
Oh!
There she is.
Find the queen and the money's yours.
I'll have two Bob on that one.
Wrong.
Ooh!
Ooh! Mother!
It's all right, bill.
Mary's on her way for the police
and they're all in the vat.
That's what you think.
Now where is she?
I'll have me last quid on that one.
Wrong again.
Ah, my old pal Brady.
Coming, bill. Coming.
Get that man away.
George.
Are you all right?
I'm champion.
Where's the rest of the gang?
There.
Take 'em in.
What about lord redhill?
Ooh yes.
Oh.
Look.
Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
I'll have 50 quid on each of 'em.
Oh, we're saved.
But George, you must be exhausted.
No, I'm all right.
You've certainly won the reward gallop.
Oh, for the last time, gullip, sir.
Perhaps in future I'd
better call you George.
Ah, now you're talking.
Come on.
Great boy that, I'll certainly
take my hat off to him.
Yes, I'll take mine off too.
Oh, George, I think you're marvellous.
Well, I think you're...
What?
I don't like saying it.
Oh, go on.
Well I don't like...
week before newcastle.
Six months now they've
been getting away with it.
And what have you discovered? Nothing.
We've proved it's the
work of one gang, sir.
The "daily sun"
doesn't seem to think so.
Of course, sir, if you
prefer to back the judgement
of a pack of news hawks to our-
- no, no, no. I'm not saying that.
We've got to face facts.
These "sun" reporters are
always discovering slush
one town ahead of us.
Yes, I know sir.
Well for heaven's sake get busy.
They're making a laughing stock of us
and I won't have my police
organisation laughed at
by the "daily sun" or any other newspaper.
How can I set this up if
I can't read a word of it?
Who made these filthy marks?
Not me, sir.
Couldn't say, sir.
Well somebody must have.
Well, you better ask George gullip.
Gullip?
Yes, he thinks he's Sherlock Holmes
and sexton Blake rolled into one.
He'll find out anything.
Gullip!
Yes, sir?
Oil
beg your pardon.
Yes, sir?
So you're a bit of a
detective, eh, gullip?
Well you see sir with my new-
- see those marks?
Oh, yes, sir.
Show me who did them and
you can pack up a quarter
of an hour earlier tonight.
Well, it's elementary, my dear Watson.
What?
Look, another one.
Soitis.
Look. There's another one.
Look.
Another one.
Look, there's another one.
Look, the criminal.
Where?
There.
What's the idea?
Well, look.
You can see the ink Mark on pussy's feet.
That's right, so you can.
But how did he get the ink on
his feet in the first place?
I put it on.
You put it on?
Yes, you see, with my
patent crime detector-
- then you can take that
to Mr. Brady and tell him
why I can't read it.
Mr. Brady, quick.
What the devil do you want?
Well, it's about your copy sir.
Well, what about it?
Well, I've invented a
sort of detector which-
- all right, now wait here.
Wait here.
Ah.
Yes, sir?
What's the meaning of
all this sludge business?
Slush sir, not sludge.
This counterfeit money business.
Who told you to run it on the front page?
It's a great stunt.
Nonsense. No public appeal.
But thousands of our readers-
- you heard what I said?
I did.
Hey, I haven't
finished with you yet.
Very good, sir.
Tell my secretary to
cancel that slush copy.
Come here Brady.
Coming sir.
Cancel, slush.
Go on.
Hey look out. Look what you're doing.
Hey, what's the idea?
I'm just gonna see miss. Brown.
Well, don't practise on me.
But professor Ashton, you can't do that.
It's one of the most popular
features in the paper.
Oh, all right, I'll tell Mr. Brady.
Hello.
Miss. Brown, Mr. Brady
said you had to cancel
the slush copy.
Oh, did he?
And there's this.
Oh yes, that's about slush too.
Well that won't be needed either.
Ooh, thank goodness for that.
What are all these marks on it?
Oh, that's from my detector.
Detector?
Yes. Look, if they'd let me use it
I'd soon catch the slushers for them.
You would?
Yes, well you see, through
working in the printing shop
we get to know quite a lot about the inks
and I've been mixing them up a bit
and this is the solution
I got that won't come off.
Go on.
Yes, well when I say that
it comes off on your finger
all right and it comes off
on anything that you touch
with your finger but it stays
on your fingers just the same.
Do you mind saying that
again, very slowly, please?
Well, I'll show you.
You see, this is the ink I mixed.
Now [I'll put a bit on your
finger and you'll see.
Now go on, Mark something.
See, leaves a Mark.
Well, of course.
Now you try and get it off your finger.
It won't come off.
Course it won't, and it'll
stay there for a whole week.
What?
And I'll know everything
you've been doing
by the marks you leave.
Well I don't think that's very funny.
No, no, I didn't mean it that way.
Look, I've got a special bottle
of antimacassar that'll bring it off.
I mean, I wouldn't do
it to you miss. Brown,
only do it to slushers and
these Mark slushers, you see.
What the devil are you doing here?
I was explaining to miss. Brown-
- well get out.
Have you finished that typing yet?
Nearly.
Now come on, hurry up.
Take those things off my desk.
I'm being as quick as I can, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Good night, miss. Brown.
Get out!
It'd be a lot easier for
everyone if lord redhill
kept to his own job of owning the paper
instead of trying to run it.
The noise of that typewriter's
driving me crackers.
Everyone else in the building
has one of the silent ones,
why haven't I?
I'm sorry, Mr. Brady, but
the stores made a mistake.
You see, they issued the last silent one-
- then stores had better put it right.
Take that one back.
Very good, Mr. Brady.
Cancel that slush leader.
Yes.
Oh, and professor Ashton phoned up.
He's had to dash of to examine
a prehistoric skull or something.
He won't be able to get
his copy through in time.
He can't do that, his daily
horoscope's read by thousands.
Yes, I know.
You'll have to vamp it up yourself.
Yes, but that's impossible-
- well someone's got to do it.
His blinking lordship's in a
bad enough temper as it is.
Very good, Mr. Brady.
Yes, sir?
Give this to the head storekeeper.
Yes, sir.
Oh, hello, can I help you?
Oh, thanks.
I'm taking it to the store room.
I'll wait here for you, Romeo.
Yeah.
I was wondering if you'd come
out and have a drink with us?
Oh, I'm sorry I can't.
Mr. Brady has given me
some extra work to do.
Mr. Brady insists on having
one of those silent ones.
I'll do my best, miss.
Thank you.
Good night.
Good night.
I was wondering if I could be
of any help, I don't suppose?
Do you know anything about horoscopes?
Not much, but I can try.
All right then, two
heads are always better
than one, aren't they?
Course.
However empty.
Yes.
It's along here.
Beats me how you work this thing.
Ooh, I wish this was real and
I was following up a murder.
Ooh, tried to bite me.
Tell you what, we'd better pick some
out of the back numbers and trust to luck.
What's that?
This is a cover for my disguises.
I'll show ya.
King of Norway.
The other way.
And I always thought
you were a keen musician.
Well, I am.
All right then, you play
something while I get on
with the horoscope.
All right, and I might be able to help.
J I can read the future j
j and tell if fate's unkind &
j the stars I've read j
j I look ahead j
j and this is what I find &
j climbing last week j
j a big mountain peak j
j I slipped down a rocky slope &
j I cried as I fell j
j I'm on my way to bed j
j I can tell it by me horoscope j
j my brother Joe j
j pulled a wishbone with flo &
j and said, "for the best let's hope" j
j then he whispered, "ooh j
j me wish is coming true j
j I can tell it by my horoscope” j
j there's lucky colours j
j lucky stones j
j lucky numbers too j
j lucky eight j
jq as sure as fate j
j will always pull me through &
j my cousin Kate j
j is putting on weight &
j I said you're beyond all hope j
j nature's unkind j
j your future's all behind 2
j I can tell it by your horoscope j
j once an old maid j
j said, "I'm afraid j
j my future brings no hope" j
j I said don't give way j
j the troops are home today j
j I can tell it by your horoscope j
j early one morn j
j a baby was born j
j it's father said please don't mope j
j let's jump for joy j
j I know that it's a boy j
j I can tell it by his horoscope j
j there's lucky colours j
j lucky stones j
j there's lucky numbers too j
j lucky eight j
jq as sure as fate j
j will always pull me through &
j I study stars j
j Venus and Mars j
j for Venus there isn't much hope j
j she's all wrapped in gauze j
j with a pair of flannel socks j
j I can tell it by her horoscope j
Why that was lovely.
Will you play again for me some time?
Any time you like.
Good.
Well, I suppose I'd better
be taking our horoscope along
and hope for the best.
And I'll better be getting
off back again to bill.
Good night. - Good night.
Happy dreams.
Ooh.
Ooh!
For 15 years I've been
hen-pecked and I never realised it.
You don't say so, sir.
And then today being my
birthday I happen to glance
at my horoscope: "In domestic
matters you display a lack
of willpower which is at odds
with your true character.
This weakness must be
vanquished at all costs."
At that moment in comes
my wife, nagging as usual.
I pick up the hairbrush and oh...
Send for Ashton, I owe
him a lot of thanks.
I'm afraid he's away
for a few days, sir.
Really?
Well then who wrote this
morning's brilliant horoscope?
Oh, well as a matter of fact-
- it was mostly George gullip, sir.
Gullip? Never heard of him.
He works in the composing room, sir.
Composing room?
Hello, hello. Put me on
to the composing room.
Gullip, lord redhill wants
you in Mr. Brady's office.
Me? What for?
The sack, I hope.
Well, I'll tell your
mother your last thoughts
were of her.
Good bye.
From now on I'm going to reorganise
my home life completely.
Come in.
You sent for me, sir?
Are you gullop?
Gullip, sir.
Come here, gullip.
So you wrote today's horoscope, did you?
Disgraceful fraud, you don't deny that?
Scandalous betrayal of the
ethics of journalism, eh?
And of course you knew it was my birthday?
Oh, yes, yes, he did sir, yes.
Well, it's always been my
policy to give youth a chance.
What's your ambition in life?
Crime, your worship.
I mean, lordship.
Committing?
No, detecting, your lordship.
Well, reporting crime often amounts
to the same thing gallop.
Gullip, sir.
Oh yes, give him a chance
one of these days, Brady.
Be interesting to see what he can do.
- Certainly, sir.
- Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
When do I start?
You heard what he said, gullip.
One of these days.
- I know, but-
- Now hop it, I'm busy.
Get out!
We'd better get some lunch
otherwise we'll be late
for the races.
I'll meet you at the main entrance.
Okay.
You know you are a pal.
Am I?
This is the chance of a
lifetime and I owe it all to you.
Oh, nonsense.
Yes, I'll be able to
use my detector now.
I can show Mr. Brady
how it works on Monday.
Oh, do you think you should?
I don't see why not.
Well, listen, George, it's a great idea
but after all how are you going
to be able to Mark anybody
who doesn't want to be marked?
I've thought of all that.
Well you see it's like this.
You choose anybody you like.
Yes.
I'll ink a sixpence,
I'll put it near them,
they'll pick it up and
they'll Mark their thumb.
Oh, I see.
Well how about that man
over there in the black hat?
Heh, in the bag.
I've got a story here
packed with thrills, tears
and laughter.
Doubtless, sir, but all manuscripts
must be submitted through the post.
A man of my reputation?
Ring the fiction editor.
Very good sir.
Turned out nice, didn't it?
You watch.
I'm sorry sir, he says
you must submit it by post.
Ridiculous, why should I
waste a perfectly good sixpence.
Oh, excuse me, is this your sixpence?
Funny, aren't you?
Well, I nearly got him.
Very nearly.
Well, you'd better go and
get your sixpence back.
Ooh aye.
I'd like to speak to
the news editor, please.
Major Hopkins.
I'll ring through sir.
Anything wrong?
Yes, have you seen
a round sixpence here?
Eh?
I mean, have you seen
a sixpence round here?
No, I haven't.
I'm sorry major Hopkins,
the news editor's out.
All right, I'll ring through later.
Good day.
Bad luck.
Well, never mind.
I've got another sixpence.
I'm gonna prove me detector if it costs me
everything I've got.
What about the queen of sheba?
Yes.
I wish to speak to your
musical critic, vite.
His name's Wilson, madam, not vite.
Whatever his name is tell
him that madame berdi is here.
I think he left for the
Stockholm music festival.
I'll make sure, madame.
Ah.
Now I won't look, you tell me.
Look, she's seen it.
You've won, good for you.
Quick, go and get your sixpence.
- Ah.
- Ooh.
What is it?
Nothing.
Oh, you poor thing.
You are unlucky.
Well, never mind.
It was worth it to prove it to you.
Hey, what are you doing here?
I was just showing
miss. Brown my detector.
Your what?
Would you like to see it?
No, I shouldn't.
Now, where would you like to go dear?
Majestic palace? Anywhere you like.
Hello, George.
Hello.
Was it the sack?
No.
Then what are you
looking so miserable for?
Well, it's that fellow Brady.
I mean, taking miss. Brown out to lunch.
What chance have I got when he takes her
the majestic palace?
I can only afford a fish and chip shop.
Say, George.
What?
How much money have you got saved up?
About a couple of quid.
That's grand.
You've got the money,
I've got the information.
We can make our fortune
this afternoon at the races.
I'm having nothing to do with it, no.
Now George, I've got
a tip for this afternoon
that can't go wrong.
We split 50/50.
You can make enough money to take the girl
wherever you want to take her.
No, no and no. I'm having
nothing to do with horses.
But George-
- no.
What, what's its name?
Hello, Carey.
Oh, hello Brady.
Not hoping to pick up
any clues here are you?
You never know.
Anything'd be better than nothing.
As bad as that?
Between you and me.
Okay, I won't use it.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Race cards.
Race card.
Thank you very much, sir.
Hello, steamroller.
New line for you, isn't it?
What's wrong with selling race cards?
Nothing.
As long as you're only selling race cards.
Then why don't you leave me alone?
- All right.
- Race card.
Here you are lady.
Race card.
Race card.
There you go, sir.
Thank you.
Hey!
Race card, sir?
2:30's the race and
we're backing every horse.
What? All of 'em?
Yes, all of 'em.
And cover as many bookies
as'll take the money.
But the phantom can't lose.
Put all the slush on the phantom
and we get all the more
real dough in the winnings.
You do as you're told.
I'm not taking any chances.
Even with outsiders.
Here.
All right then.
Race card. Race card.
Number five, that's lollypop.
That's bound to get licked.
Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle.
Well I thought it was funny.
Shh.
All the results,
"star news" and "standard".
You're number eight.
Number eight? Golden boy.
There you are, told you so.
What about it?
Look, golden boy,
Violet cap and sleeves.
There it is.
There's the horse that's
gonna make our fortune.
Shut up.
What are they laughing at?
Just a lot of mugs, that's all.
Give me the money, hand it over.
Of course you would make
it more difficult for me.
Why lock it up in a moneybox?
Well, I mean that's the place-
- what do we do now?
They'll be off any minute.
Ah.
Ooh, hey!
Here, why don't you have the key?
Oh, will you go in the
stand and find a place
while I get the money on.
Give me two dollars, phantom.
Phantom,
hello Brady.
See you've got your typewriter with you.
Well I...
Tell me, who's that very
attractive woman over there?
Your bag.
Thank you very much.
Not at all.
That's madam berdi, the singer.
Oh, is it?
Yes, she's very angry with "the sun".
Wilson described her voice
as almost as stunning
as her looks and she
took it the wrong way.
Oh, good heavens, I
must apologise at once.
Introduce me.
Sure.
Here we are George.
What do you think of that?
30 quid to come.
Then we've won 30 quid?
Almost. Look out, they'll soon be off.
I hope we've done right.
Of course we've done right.
30 quid.
Look, 888, that proves it.
Proves what?
Why look, Violet and
eight, it's in the stars.
Oh, then we're all right then.
Yes.
Ashton's never wrong.
At least never on Saturdays.
Well that's good because
now that Ashton's...
Did you say Ashton?
Yes.
Let's have a look.
Oh...
What's the matter?
Ashton didn't write that.
I wrote it.
My pal.
Loves to have his little joke.
Oh no it's true.
That's why lord redhill
sent for me in his office this morning.
Yes I know...
Wait, what?
Phantom's in front.
Oh, good.
What's that coming through?
Want a pass out, sir?
What won?
Golden boy.
What?
Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
888.
- 888.
- 888.
We're looking for nothing but 888.
We'll never find it.
We've gotta find it.
Ooh, my finger, you daft thing.
Oh, don't do that.
- 888.
- 888.
Hey, haven't we enough
without adding more to it?
What are you doing?
887.
Oh, 888. Every number but 888-
- I've got it, I've got it.
Then give it to me.
Here we are, 30 quid.
Right. 10, 20, 30.
- There you are, 30 pounds.
- Thank you.
Look George, look. 30 quid.
Whoopee.
Now for a drink and what a drink.
There's somebody over there
I particularly want to see.
Will you be all right for a minute?
Yes, of course.
Right-oh.
George!
Well what are you doing here?
I've made a fortune,
I've made a fortune.
- What?
- Come on George.
All right, but I'd like
you to come too miss. Brown.
Will you?
Well, all right.
Take the order my
dear, drinks all round on me.
What about a tune guv'nor?
Why not?
Hello miss. Brown.
Has he told you what I've done for him?
He certainly has.
Aye, and he's right too.
J can't help grinning j
j I've been winning j
j had a real good do j
j and now I'm telling you j
j grey skies are turning blue j
j what a racket &
j what a packet j&
j I have won today j
j troubles over &
j I'min clover j
j everything's okay j
j I feel like a millionaire j
j I'm all deluxe and how j
j I'm in the money tasting the honey j
j hitting the high spots now j
j all my frowns have turned to smiles j
j no wrinkles on my brow j
j I'm stepping out more j
j getting about more j
j hitting the high spots now j
j life is what you make it j
j so make it worth while j
j whatever comes just take it j
j you've got to swing
along and get in rhythm j
j I'm on top of all the world j
j I'm making good and how j
j turning the switch on j
j putting the ritz on j
j hitting the high spots now j
J I'll be living like a lord j
j the lord knows who or how j
j I'm in the right school j
j going to night school j
j hitting the high spots now j
j horses, women, wine and song j
j and greyhounds too, bow-wow j
j when there's a cert on j
j putting me shirt on j
j hitting the high spots now j
j life is what you make it j
j so make it worth while j
j whatever comes just take it j
j you've got to swing
along and get in rhythm j
j in the best society j
j I soon will make my bow j
j dressed up tricky j
j with a clean shirton j
j hitting the high spots j
j I'll be a big shot j
j hitting the high spots now j
good boy, George.
That was grand.
Did you like it miss. Brown?
How about Mary for a change?
You mean I can call you Mary?
Well, why not?
Well, miss. Brown, Mary, now
that I've got a lot of money,
I feel daft saying it.
Do you think you'd come
out with me sometime?
I'd love to.
Do you mean you would?
Yes.
Well I think I'd better
be getting back now.
Mr. Brady will be wondering where I am.
I suppose he will.
Cheerio everybody.
Good luck.
Good bye.
Bye-bye.
A tenner.
Oh, haven't you got anything smaller?
Sorry, nothing smaller.
I've got some fivers.
How much do you want?
Well, 30 quid.
Oh, that's easy my lad.
That's grand. Have a drink, old pal?
No thanks.
What a mug.
Here you are dear, that's better.
Five pounds.
Aye-aye, just a minute, just a minute.
Who do you think you are?
Detective inspector Carey.
What? A real detective?
I thought so, slush.
Slush!
Well, what about our money?
'Fraid I'll have to confiscate that.
Hello, what's the matter?
Get your lorry going.
I've gotta hop it.
Quick. - Right.
Well now I'll not be
able to take miss. Brown,
I mean Mary, out after all.
If I could only get me hands on him.
Look, that's him.
All right, all right, what's the idea.
Come on.
Beg your pardon.
What the blazes?
Te == et ep ae
Bit of luck finding you like that.
Soon as you can you'd
better let the boss
know what happened.
Any idea where he'll be tonight?
Yes, at the...
Blinking draught round here, isn't there?
Just as I was getting a clue.
Clue my foot.
He's got our money, that's all I know.
The first stop I'm gonna
hand him over to the police.
No, you can't do that,
it'll spoil everything.
We've got to track him.
What for?
Well, he'll lead us to the headquarters
of the gang, the slushers.
And on the way I'm gonna
Mark it with me detector.
Oh.
Half a mo, half a mo.
But we want to see a man about-
- and so do a lot of others.
You pay at the pay box.
We'll have to wait til he comes out.
I say, how much you got left?
Two and tuppence.
That's a shilling each.
We can just make it.
But that only leaves me with tuppence.
No, listen.
I'll stay at the exit and
see that he doesn't get out.
You go and see if you can
find him in the swimming bath.
Me in the swimming bath?
No... now don't tell me
you can't swim?
Yes, no.
Yes, I can swim like a duck.
Well, what are you worrying about?
Bathing suits sixpence extra
and I've only got tuppence.
Oh, never mind.
Go and get the tickets anyway.
Tickets.
Days are drawing in a bit, aren't they?
Won't be long before
we see Christmas now.
Don't forget to hang
up the old stocking.
Got the tickets?
Yeah, but it's a waste of two Bob.
Straight on.
Straight through, hold that will you.
Now listen, just duck
inside and get changed
while I scout round a bit.
Don't be daft, I haven't got a costume.
Costume.
No, well can't you put it on?
I don't mind but what size do you take?
32.
32itis.
40 I take.
You go inside, it's you.
Don't worry, you swim
like a duck, don't you?
Yeah, but ducks don't have costumes.
That's right, you get inside.
I'll see you later.
No swimming?
No, mate.
Saturday's wrestling night.
If you want a go at the tiger
he's taking on all covers.
That's very kind of him.
Of all the crazy halfwits,
what did you want to go
and do a thing like that for?
They'll have him down on
us like a tonne of bricks.
I didn't mean no harm guv'nor.
There's a purse of five
quid, five beautiful quid,
for the person who stands
up to the terrible tiger
for three minutes.
Three beautiful minutes.
Been in?
Not likely?
Why? Too cold?
Too hot.
Too hot? Ooh, I like it hot.
Ah, ha.
The answer to a maiden's prayer.
Come along, sir. We need you.
Me?
I can see at a glance
you're gonna wipe the floor
with the poor old tiger.
Me?
Yes, sir, you.
Your name, sir?
Your name, sir?
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. aberaber challenges
the terrible tiger for
five beautiful quid.
Now listen, no biting, no
gouging and no hair pulling.
Don't tell me, tell him.
Any oil? Any grease?
Look, look, look.
Hello, what's this?
Oh, well I put these on because-
- no, me? No, me no fight him.
No, no, no.
Because I didn't want to-
I mean... look, look.
Okay, okay.
Hey, get away. Somebody stop him.
Mother.
Hey.
Get away you cheeky fast cat, go away.
Clean fight tiger.
How you doing tiger?
Mother, get away.
Blimey, it's one of the
geezers I worked the slush on.
What?
Come on out of here,
before the fight finishes.
Mother!
Stop this.
Wring his neck.
Oh I can't look, I can't look.
Mother!
Break it up.
We want a murder.
Go on tiger.
Hey, get away.
Get away.
Gouge his eyeballs.
Ooh.
Mother!
I'll stop the fight.
Like a smoke, pal?
Why don't you stop?
Oi, my hat pin.
How you doing, tiger?
Give him the works.
Stop him.
Get away.
Mother!
Eight, nine, out.
Think of it George, you win five quid.
That's two pounds 10 each.
Yes, but what about the slushers?
They've gone.
Gone?
Gone.
Do you mean to say while
I've been going through
all that you let them go?
Congratulations my boy,
you can take on the world.
The world?
The world.
Do you mean that?
Yes.
Not me, George.
Oh well, see you in the.
Mary.
Yes, Mr. Brady?
What's been the matter with you all day?
Something upsetting you?
You know perfectly well.
Oh, don't tell me
it's still that gullip?
Well, I after all I
do think it's a shame
when he's just got the chance-
- just look at this.
I cleaned up a couple of
hundred on the last race
at Norton and now my
bank manager tells me the
that most of it's sludge.
Slush, sir.
Slush. - Counterfeit.
No question about it.
Me, I, redhill of "the sun".
Redhill, had for a mug.
But sir-
- you'll run a front page.
Lord redhill to rid racecourses
of slush racketeers.
Offers 500 pounds for
anyone giving information
that'll lead to the arrest of the gang.
A very generous offer, sir.
Yeah, I'll get busy right away, sir.
And if I may say so, I-
- oh yes, yes, yes.
I know what you're going to
say and I admit I was wrong.
From now on sludge, slush, is
going to be the main feature
of the paper.
I'm going to fix this
gang once and for all.
It's a national disgrace.
George, lord redhill
has offered 500 pounds
to anybody who can find the slush gang
and bring them to justice.
He has?
Yes, and look at this.
Well, what about it?
A dud fiver that was paid
out to him at the races.
And look, your Mark.
Soitis.
But how did it get there?
I know, the woman I marked.
That's right, madame
berdi the opera singer.
What? Her in the slush racket?
Don't make me laugh.
Come to think of it I
saw her betting heavily
with five pound notes.
There you are.
I'll go and tell Mr. Brady.
George, and let him get the reward?
Oh no you're not, you're
going to have it yourself.
Am I?
Well, what am I gonna do?
Well first of all
you've got to make sure
that it is this madame berd.I.
But how?
Well, get another fingerprint
and compare it with this.
You'll have to get into her house somehow.
What, me?
Oh Vicky, this stuff you
gave me is absolutely useless.
Well the chemist guaranteed it.
But what am I to do?
All these important people coming
and I look as if I've
come out of a coal hole.
What's that?
Not one of the guests already?
Oh, no, no.
Probably extra waiters from the agency.
Oh, stop fidgeting George
and try and look like a reporter.
Well, what are we going
to interview her about?
Should girls wear pyjamas
or old-fashioned nighties,
or anything?
Or anything?
Oh, I couldn't ask a lady
a question like that.
Don't worry, [I'll do all the talking.
All you have to do is
to take the camera out.
While you're posing her for
a photograph get her to Mark
a piece of paper.
Yeah, but if the lady
won't Mark the paper-
- good evening.
I was afraid you were
going to be late. Follow me.
Late?
Get inside.
Got your things in there?
Yes.
Well you better change in the cloakroom?
Change?
You don't usually wait
in lounge suits, do you?
Wait, for what?
Ah, George will have his little joke.
Well keep it to yourselves.
You're hired as waiters, not entertainers.
What do you want?
Madame's shouting for you.
When you've changed,
go into the kitchen.
Okay, miss.
Eh, what's to do?
What's going on here?
Don't you see, she thinks
were a couple of hired waiters.
Let her think.
All the easier to get the Mark.
We're gonna get a thick
ear if we're not careful.
We can't wait, we'll
have to have black suits
and I want a Dickie.
Yes, don't worry.
Hey, what are you gonna do?
Leave it to me, I'm
gonna see the hall Porter.
Hey, look, the waiters.
Hey, quick, in the
kitchen, keep 'em busy.
What, me?
Take their photos, anything
you like only give me time
to deal with the waiters.
Well, what are you gonna do?
Don't worry, get inside.
Turned out nice again, hasn't it?
Has it?
You ought to be changing.
Yes, I know, but you
see my pal he's a bit shy
and he doesn't like anybody watching
while he's changing you see.
What are you gonna do then? Dress here?
Yes. No, no.
No, I thought, you see, while I was here
I could take your photograph.
Oh, look, what a funny thing
for a waiter to carry around.
Yes, well you see the places I work,
I mean, nightclubs and-
- night clubs?
Do you know the underworld?
Well no, I've never met her.
Oh, underworld?
Oh, yes, I can show you.
J up the west end j
j that's the best end j
j where the night clubs thrive j&
j down into a dive j
jyougo jd
j now there's a jazz queen j
j she's a has been j
j has been lord knows what j
j every night she's there &
j on show j
j she dances underneath a magic spell j
j she's full of charm j&
j and beer and stout as well j
j she's 66 but she looks 16 j
j her friends don't know
her now her face is clean j
j that's fanlight Fanny, the
frowsy night club queen j
j see her glide around the floor j
j then glide around
into the pub next door j
j that's fanlight Fanny, the
frowsy night club queen j
j she looks well in the lime j&
j a queen all the time j
j you get your money's worth j
j by day you'd say it's
her second time on earth j
j every morn at the break of day j
j they call for the empties
and they cart away j
j fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
j by Ted she's followed j
j and when she's collared &
j the judge she always cheeks j
j twice a month, two weeks j
j she'll do &
j she's often boasted j
j she's been toasted j
j toasted by her friends j
j she ought to be cremated too j
j you can't tell if she's
brunette or a blonde j
j she's like something
you'd drag out of a pond j
j now she's a peach but understand j
j she's called a peach
because she's always canned j
j that's fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
j when she's dressed she's like Mae west j
j she wears two saucepan
lids upon her chest j&
j that's fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
j she looks well in the lime j&
j a queen all the time j
j you get your money's worth j
j by day you'd say it's
her second time on earth j
j she waltzes in the west end shops j
j then she waltzes out
in between two cops j
j that's fanlight Fanny the
frowsy night club queen j
Hey!
Sorry to break up the party ladies
but my friend's got to come and change.
Out.
Oh, I think he's beautiful.
Yes? Oh, get on with your work.
There you are.
Well what's these?
Your clothes.
Well, what's happened to the waiters?
Oh, they're hanging around.
Ooh, murder.
Oh, just a couple of taps on the bean.
They'll be all right.
No, come on.
Shh. Coming.
Get changed quickly. Quickly.
He won't be a moment.
Well, tell him to hurry.
Madame will be down at any moment
and her nerves are very much on edge.
Oh, something upset her?
A tiresome stain on her
finger that nothing'll get off.
You may tell madame she
need have no further worry.
Why?
My friend in there
is a brilliant pharma,
pharma, pharmacutelist.
A what?
Removing stains is his specialty.
Oh, I'll tell madame at once.
Splendid.
I won't do it.
What? And throw 500 quid down the drain?
But what am I going to say to her?
Get her to Mark a piece of paper.
Yeah, but how?
Tell her it's a test, to see
what sort of a stain it is.
When you've got that, remove the stain.
It's too easy.
Well, why don't you do it?
Madame will see him at once.
Here, take your bottle.
Yeah, but-
- I'll put your clothes in
here, leave it in the hall
in case we have to make a quick getaway.
Yeah. Ooh.
This way.
Are those all the implements you carry?
Well, you see, this is a
secret process of my own.
Oh.
Madame will be here in a minute.
Was that you at my bathroom door?
Well, I beg your pardon,
but I thought somebody
was doing you in.
Do mein?
Yes.
That was Wagner.
Well, d'you think he'll
mind me being in here?
No, no, no, no.
Wagner, opera.
Oh, well, that's different, isn't it?
So you are the expert, yes?
Yes, I'm the expert.
Well then, come along,
come along, come along.
What are you waiting for?
Well, what's the matter?
You'll catch your death of cold.
Oh, don't be so silly.
Sit down. Hurry up.
Well, now first of all I must ask you
to make an impression.
What?
Me, madame berdi, to make
an impression on you?
No, no, no. On the piece of paper.
See, I'll show you, with your thumb.
Oh, I see.
For one moment I thought you.
Ooh, couldn't be better.
What?
I mean, I've got the
stuff to take it off with.
Well, stop wasting time
with that piece of paper,
take the Mark off my thumb.
I suppose that liquid is
something very special.
Oh yes, it's my own private invention.
Naturally. Look, it's coming off.
Course, if you know how to
do it it doesn't take long.
It's gone.
Oh, thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you.
Yes? - Oh boy.
Oh, is that you darling?
No, don't be so silly
of course I'll be there.
11.30, Maxim's. Good bye darling.
Oh, no, you mustn't do that.
How dare you?
Well I-
- so you are what they
call a peeping Thomas, yes?
No, it's that paper.
Will you please get out
of here, I'm in a hurry.
I want, I want-
- get out.
But you don't understand-
- get out.
By gum, it's a long way down this lift.
There we are.
Can you manage?
I hope so.
Mind, it's hot.
You're telling me.
Excuse me.
Gangway. Gangway.
Excuse me.
Clumsy idiot.
Well, it was burning me fingers.
I thought you removed
stains, not made them.
Go and hand round those drinks.
Ah, that's better.
I'm glad of that, sir.
Where's my handkerchief?
If your overcoat probably.
Through there, sir.
Straight through.
- Thank you.
- Well, did you get it?
Well, no. You see it was like this.
I was just going to and-
- why aren't you handing
round those drinks?
Come along, do hurry.
You're frightfully slow.
I'll tell you later.
Drink, mrs?
Divine.
Drink, mrs?
Divine.
Cocktail?
Well, just one perhaps.
Strictly against doctor's orders.
Indigestion, sir?
Hallucinations.
Divine.
Oh!
This should
be an interesting party,
don't you think?
Should be, dear lady?
Well, isn't it rather unkind
of madame berdi to be so late?
Well these prima Donnas do get detained.
Ah, my dear professor.
How nice to see you again.
Well I don't get very far from my work
these days, you know.
Oh, dear lady vanson,
how nice to see you.
How are you? And how is your husband?
I saw someone the other
day who knew him so well.
Oh dear mrs-
Ooh.
Oh Mrs. Mason, I thought
I should see you here.
I know how devoted you are to the arts.
Why aren't you serving those drinks?
That's enough out of you. Get busy.
Good evening everybody.
How can you ever forgive
me for being so late?
How are you madame? How are you?
How nice of you-
- ah, madame berd.I.
Ah, sir William.
Well, did you get the Mark?
Yes, I got it on a piece of paper.
Then what are we waiting here for?
But she put the piece of paper
in the top of her stocking.
What?
Yes.
We'll have to get another.
Well we can't, I've taken
the stain off her thumb.
You would.
I did.
You idling again?
Take this fruit round.
Go on.
As I was saying to the French ambassador
only this afternoon, you
can say what you like
about these other prima
Donnas but there are none
who can compare with madame berd.I.
How sweet of you.
Fruit, mrs?
You daft thing, look what you've done.
My apologies madame.
To your very good health.
Get under the table and get that paper.
Oh, I couldn't do that.
It's your own fault for not
getting it the first time.
Get under.
Yes, indeed, some of the
others may have beautiful voices
but none can come within
a mile of you, my dear.
You flatter me, sir William.
Not at all.
When it comes to feeling
there's something about
your lower register, I
don't know what it is,
I can't even describe it,
but it seems to raise one
to a higher, a more spiritual plane.
Sir William, you are drunk.
I beg your pardon?
Might I possibly have a
word with you in private?
Certainly, professor.
But what have I done?
You know perfectly well.
Sir William, how nice to see you again.
Do you know I saw a great
friend of yours the other day
who was with you through all the horrors
of the Russian revolution.
I can hardly describe the horrors
of the that winter of 1918.
As I lay there in my
prison cell I could hear
the firing squad at work.
Hey, what's to do?
Wrong table you fool.
She's moved over there.
Go on, it's worth 500 quid.
You daft thing.
And I can assure you
that there is no more deserving charity.
Good evening, sir.
Good evening.
Haven't I seen your face before somewhere?
Well, sir, I have a twin brother, sir.
I'll put your hat and things
in the cloakroom, my lord.
How dare you.
I beg your pardon.
Once again I am insulted.
Oh my dear madame berdi,
I'm so sorry to be late.
I hope I'm not butting in?
By no means. Not at all.
May I join you?
Please do, lord redhill.
I should be delighted.
Would you care for some soup, my lord?
Soup?
Thank you, yes, that would be very nice.
I hope you're a more agreeable companion
than the average englishman.
Don't worry my dear, I've spent most
of my life on the continent.
What's the matter?
Nothing, madame. Nothing.
I hope you will enjoy this soup,
I have ordered it specially for you.
May I talk to you very confidentially?
A dear woman, my wife, but she
doesn't understand me at all.
It's very lonely when
one's not understood.
That's why it's such a pleasure to meet
a broadminded person like yourself.
Well I never.
I suppose that is what you
call the freedom of the press.
I have never been so
insulted in my life.
I shall leave this house at once.
Oh, my.
I've got it.
I've got it. Look.
Help. Murder.
The waiters.
Ooh.
Quick, follow me down the fire escape.
Where's that gullip? I'll show him.
I'll show him.
I know he's in here somewhere.
I'll have him.
He must be here somewhere.
Gallop!
No, gullip, sir.
Stop him, stop him. Stop him.
There he goes.
- Get him.
- Ooh, mother!
Ha ha, never touched me!
May we come in?
Well, hello.
What on earth are you
in those clothes for?
Oh, just one of our disguises.
Yes, but they're all messed up.
Well, we've had a bit
of a dust up with the gang
but they couldn't stop us
from getting what we went for.
You've got it? Well done.
Are they the same?
Of course they're the same.
Well, let's have a look
in the magnifying glass.
Oh look, they're both exactly...
Different.
But they can't be.
Do you mean to say
after I've risked my neck-
- oh, now, now bill.
I've got it.
It must've been that
fellow I marked by mistake.
That's right.
What was his name?
Oh, major...
Oh George, you must remember.
It must be him, it can't be anybody else.
It started with f.
- F?
- Phillips.
No, no. Something to do with fruit.
Raspberry?
No, that's a noise.
Hops?
- Hopkins. Major Hopkins.
- Hopkins.
Good old bill.
Well, I mean to say after
all what's your head for?
To put your hat on.
Ha ha, chuckle, chuckle.
Here we are. Here we are.
Major Hopkins, 17 candlemas mansions...
I've never known such a day.
What with telephone calls and tradesmen,
and now, on top of it all, this error
of eightpence in the accounts.
Well, my dear, eightpence
isn't going to break us.
It's the principle of the thing.
I simply shan't rest til I find it.
You'll find it in the morning.
Eightpence. Such an odd amount.
Now, you get along to bed.
I believe it was...
No. No, I paid that.
Well, what do you want?
Good evening, sir.
It's turned out nice again, hasn't it?
We represent the "daily sun".
Oh?
We're running a new column,
"candid opinions from the
fireside" and we thought-
- well, you can think again.
That's torn it.
Did you see it?
What?
Piles of notes on his desk?
Slush?
Yes. Let me get up here, quick.
Steady. Steady.
Slush.
Slush. Slush.
He's putting it away in his safe.
Probably going to bed.
You daft thing.
- George.
- What?
Somehow or other we've
got to get those notes
out of the safe and take
them to police headquarters.
Yes, who is it?
Inspector Carey here sir.
Have you had time to examine
that bundle of slush I sent round?
Yes, hardly a flaw in it.
The more expert they
get the more difficult
they're going to be to track down.
I can't help that.
As I've told you before I will not
have my police organisation laughed at.
Somehow or other you've
got to get results.
Stop arguing George.
Here have I practically got you the reward
and all you can do is to argue.
Yeah, well why can't you do it?
What's the matter with you?
You told me yourself he's
left the window open.
I know I did but I was-
- well, all you've got to do
is go along the fire escape.
Fire escape? I can't do that.
In through the window
and open the door for me.
Yes, I know, but-
- while I do the difficult
task of getting the tools
to open the safe.
But I can't stand heights.
Get out.
And bill. No, but.
No, no, you.
Bill.
Bill.
Bill!
Alfred! Alfred!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Somebody save me, I'm slipping.
Somebody stop me.
My dear Agnes, do stop worrying
about that wretched eightpence.
It's the principle of the thing.
Good night, my dear.
Ooh!
Everything all right?
Yes.
We'll have to hurry up.
I only borrowed these.
Who from?
A fellow outside,
mending the tram lines.
Where's major Hopkins?
In there.
Right.
Shh.
Ooh!
It's all right, he's going to sleep.
Come on. Shh.
Shh, quiet. Shh!
Locked.
Let me have a do.
You're right, it's locked.
Well, we'll have to
get busy on the hinges.
Take your coat off.
Here you are, hold these.
You hold that, I'll hit it.
No, you hold it and I'll hit it.
Don't argue, hold it.
Oh.
We'll have to use the blow lamp.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Ouch!
Stop jumping about.
Well, what about-
- shh!
Oh stop shushing, you're drowning me.
Here, if we can only burn
through that it's a cinch.
Now quietly. Shh.
Carry on George, I'm going to investigate.
How's it coming?
Won't be long now.
Well, hurry up, hurry up.
You daft thing, you know I'm ticklish.
Mind, see if it's coming loose.
Shh!
Well how can I shush when you
keep on burning holes in me?
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Shut up you fool, they'll hear us.
Eightpence.
Shut up.
Eightpence.
Shut up.
- Eightpence.
- Oh!
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
I think she's sleepwalking.
Well, what are you gonna do?
Make sure.
How?
Leave it to me.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Oh, what did you want to do that for?
I couldn't help it.
Just in time.
Ooh, the slush.
Putit in the sack.
Eightpence.
Eightpence.
Here's fanlight Fanny back again.
- Eightpence.
- Here's 20 quid.
Stop it, will you, you know I'm ticklish.
Put 'em up.
Oh, oh.
Don't shoot, please.
Don't.
Get me police headquarters.
I didn't. I didn't.
You've murdered him.
You've killed him.
He's all right.
What do we do now?
I know, put him in the sack.
What for?
Take him along to police headquarters.
Oh yes.
And on the way...
Don't make me laugh.
The head of the slush racket in that sack.
Well, let's have a look at him.
Not until you get the
chief of the police.
There's a 500 pound reward for this,
and no one's butting in.
Lie down and speak
when you're spoken to.
What's this?
These men say they've got
the head of the slush racket.
What?
Yes, the master mind.
Are you the chief of police?
He's at home in bed.
Well, can't you get him up.
Of course not.
Very good.
For you, sir.
The major's flat. Sounds important.
So happens this is the chief.
Hello.
Major Hopkins. He's been
kidnapped, in his pyjamas.
Don't worry Mrs. Hopkins,
we'll soon get him back for you.
Warn all cars, major Hopkins kidnapped.
Every conveyance to be searched.
Major Hopkins kidnapped.
Send two men round to his flat at once.
Did you say, "Hopkins,"?
Yes.
Ooh.
Have every barrier
watched at every station.
17 candlemas mansions?
Yes.
Well, we'll see you in the morning.
I can see you're busy now,
we'll come back again.
Open that sack.
Well, well you see we didn't mean to-
- what's happened?
Where the blazes am I?
Turned out nice again, hasn't it?
So you thought you'd caught the head
of the slush racket, eh?
Yes, I thought it was in the bag.
Hello, you still here?
Yes, I'm waiting for someone.
Not George gullip, the printer's error.
If you knew what he was doing
at this moment you might not
think he was such a joke.
Ah, now let me guess.
I know, he's at wapping
old stairs capturing a gang
of crooks single-handed.
That's not so far off either.
Or better still, he's running
the slush gang to earth.
Got it, in two guesses.
Say, you're not pulling my leg are you?
Well, who are they?
The leader of the gang
is a man called Hopkins.
Hopkins?
Yes, George rang up just now.
They actually discovered
him working on the slush.
Not, not major Hopkins?
Why yes. Do you know him?
Do I know him?
My dear, he's only chief of police.
What?
Where's that galley proof?
They were just doing an article on him.
Yes, but that's impossible.
He left his Mark on the
note and everything-
- Mark?
What Mark?
George's detector.
And the only two people
whose fingers he's marked
were madame berdi and
Hopkins, so it must be one.
I think I'd better be getting home now.
It's getting rather late.
Just one minute.
You're quite sure you're
going straight home?
Why yes, of course.
You weren't thinking of
calling in at a police station
by any chance?
You know, finger prints are
remarkably damning things.
I'd like to point out, in
case you want to scream
or anything, that I've
got a gun in my pocket.
Don't forget it.
Riverbank 2814.
What made your friend
George suspect me enough
to Mark my finger?
I didn't know he had.
Oh, don't talk nonsense.
You were in here with
him the other morning
when he upset his bottles
over the bell push.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see, so it was a mistake.
Dear George gullip doesn't
suspect me after all.
Hello, blue star brewery?
Bridgewater?
This is Brady here, I'm
bringing you a visitor down.
A young woman who's
remarkably well-informed.
I've persuaded her she needs a sea voyage.
Yes, just a couple of months
while we get things cleared up.
All right. I'll be down right away.
Good bye.
Ah, sorry, sir, thought you'd gone.
We have.
I bet she'll have a
fur coat before long.
We're a couple of mugs
if ever there was one.
I phoned Mary and told her
that we were coming back
to collect the reward.
Well, if that police chief
hadn't been such a decent
fellow we wouldn't be coming back at all.
I know that.
Here, Brady's car.
Good, then he'll not be able
to sack me til the morning.
Come in.
Oh, excuse me. Have you seen her?
Who?
Mary. Miss. Brown.
I mean Mr. Brady's secretary.
They went out together
a few minutes ago.
Together?
Couldn't have been closer
together if they'd tried.
Almost made me blush.
Come on.
See if we can get a drink.
Here, be a pal and answer it.
I don't understand them things.
Hello, who's there?
Lord redhill?
Ooh. Hello, lord redhill.
Yes sir.
No I'm sorry, Mr. Brady's gone out.
Could I take a message, sir?
Yes sir, one moment please.
Piece of paper bill?
Just a moment your lordship.
Yes sir, I'm on my way with
police officers to charge two
of my staff, George
gallop, no, gullip, sir.
Ooh.
Here, let's get out of here.
- Yes, come on.
- Here, haven't I enough
to clear up as it is?
Sorry.
Don't fuss. In the tray.
In the tray.
Good heavens it's Mary. She's in danger.
Come on, let's go and get her.
Not me. I've had enough for one night.
She's at the blue star brewery.
That's different.
Oil
Hello?
Who?
Can't hear.
Who?
Oh, good evening your lordship.
They've just nipped it
to the blue star brewery.
Well, what do we do now?
Shh, don't make such a noise.
Look out, there's a blue star Van.
Bill, look.
It's the chap that drove
the Van at the races.
Is it?
Come on, jump to it mate.
All right, all right.
Come on boys, quickly. Over there.
Any more in there?
That's the idea.
Quick as you can boys.
Brady?
With the fellow who passed the slush.
There's something fishy going on here.
I don't like the look of it.
Here we've got a classy
little brewing concern,
a1, first class reputation
then you start unloading
kidnapped women on us.
It's asking for trouble.
Hear, hear.
Shut up.
I tell you there's not
the slightest danger.
Even if the police walk in
they'd never discover the presses.
I daresay, but that doesn't make
that girl any the less dangerous.
You get her out of here before daylight.
Where'd you park her?
In the waiting room.
Waiting room.
Quick. We gotta get her out of there.
You'll be back at the "daily sun"
tomorrow morning as usual.
We shall need your stories to
keep the police off the scent
more than ever now.
Yes, but-
- don't argue.
Get that girl on board the blue horizon.
She sails at daybreak.
Chelsea, they've let
me down week after week.
Come on useless.
Okay.
Is that all you've gotta do?
Go on, get on with your work.
George.
You go and fetch the police
while bill and I find where
the presses are hidden.
Yes but I-
- now go and fetch the police.
Yes but-
- don't argue, go and fetch the police.
Better leave all the talking to me.
Then you keep her quiet in there
while I see about the boat.
Hey, Bert. Where's she gone?
It won't take long if
you put your backs into it.
Better move this lot first.
Over there.
Okay.
Now come on, if we're quick
we might still catch her.
Okay.
Hello? Hello, police headquarters.
I'm speaking from near
the blue star brewery-
- hello?
Hello?
Make him let me go, he's hurting me.
He'll hurt you a lot more
if you don't keep quiet.
Help! Help!
She's fainted boss.
Good, bring her inside.
Okay.
Why haven't you started?
We have.
Looks like it.
Yeah, but we-
- that's enough from you.
Get on with it. Both of ya.
Well it beats me.
Now, keep her the other
side of the far door.
Okay.
Don't worry, she won't see
nothing. She's just fainted.
Oh, you must have breathed on her.
Yes, that's right mate.
Throw us down a bit of rope, Fred?
If you want any help, let me know.
Okay.
Well, we don't seem to
be making much impression
with this lot.
Jim, you're wanted in the printing room.
What for?
Something wrong with the press.
They want to print all the slush they can.
What's that?
Must have been those
onions I had for supper.
How many more times must I
tell you to shift these crates?
Well, it's like there's-
- don't argue. Get on with it.
Hey!
Ooh.
Who the devil are you?
I don't know.
What are you doing here?
Well you see it was a mistake.
We were wandering round and
we took the wrong turning.
What's the matter with the lights?
Ooh, they're probably
changing over at the mains.
Come on. Quick.
Quick, someone's in the store room.
Blimey.
Well, we'll have to be getting along.
Yes, very. Good night.
Good night boys.
Good night.
Ooh.
Ooh.
I caught them in here a few minutes ago.
Oh, it's you is it?
Are they dangerous?
I'll say so.
Get 'em boys.
- Come on.
- Come on.
Ooh.
Quick. Creep up and overturn
the crates on top of 'em.
Ooh.
There they are!
Go on, after them.
Go on.
Go on, after them.
Go on.
Bill? Bill?
Ooh.
Oh. Ooh.
Go on, after him.
Mother.
Ooh.
Now get back and look after that girl.
That's a mug's job.
Where's that pal of yours?
I don't know.
Cops.
Now keep your heads.
Any questions, you're
the ordinary night shift.
One word from you and it'll be your last.
Take it away.
Ah, so there you are gallop.
Oh, gullip, sir.
Oh, gullip then.
Take him away officer.
I didn't mean any harm sir.
Harm? What do you call this?
I was unconscious
for an hour and a half.
Well I, well...
Ah, Brady, charwoman told you too, eh?
Yes, that's right sir.
Ooh, no, I'm going to
tell even if I don't live
to get the reward.
Reward? What on earth
are you talking about?
Well, I've found the slushers.
Oh obviously a lunatic.
Take him away.
I'm not as daft as I look.
I've got a witness.
Bill. Bill.
J I hear you calling me j
there you are.
You know all about the
slushers, don't you, bill?
My old pal lord redhill.
Bill, pull yourself together.
Here, take him away. Come on.
Well, if you don't believe
me ring up police headquarters.
Miss. Brown'll be there by now.
Come on will ya.
No you can't. No-
- come on.
- No, you can't.
I'm tired of your excuses.
Take him away.
Look!
Look, the presses, I told ya.
Bless my soul.
Quick, get 'em in.
Here, open that door. Open the door.
Quick, up the ladder.
Come on bill. Come on.
Quick. After them.
- Hurry up.
- Come on.
They'll catch us. Hurry up.
So gallop was right after all.
Well, what are we going to do?
What about a little
game of find the lady?
What? Look for women
at a time like this?
Hurry up.
Quick, the crane.
You'll be all right.
Go and get the police.
Are you ready?
George, I think you're wonderful.
Ooh.
Oh.
Ooh.
Ooh.
They must be here somewhere.
Search the barrels.
Come on. Quick.
Come on, hurry up.
I've got him boys.
Let's have him.
Okay.
Quick.
Oh!
There she is.
Find the queen and the money's yours.
I'll have two Bob on that one.
Wrong.
Ooh!
Ooh! Mother!
It's all right, bill.
Mary's on her way for the police
and they're all in the vat.
That's what you think.
Now where is she?
I'll have me last quid on that one.
Wrong again.
Ah, my old pal Brady.
Coming, bill. Coming.
Get that man away.
George.
Are you all right?
I'm champion.
Where's the rest of the gang?
There.
Take 'em in.
What about lord redhill?
Ooh yes.
Oh.
Look.
Wait a minute, wait a
minute, wait a minute.
I'll have 50 quid on each of 'em.
Oh, we're saved.
But George, you must be exhausted.
No, I'm all right.
You've certainly won the reward gallop.
Oh, for the last time, gullip, sir.
Perhaps in future I'd
better call you George.
Ah, now you're talking.
Come on.
Great boy that, I'll certainly
take my hat off to him.
Yes, I'll take mine off too.
Oh, George, I think you're marvellous.
Well, I think you're...
What?
I don't like saying it.
Oh, go on.
Well I don't like...