Troops (1997) - full transcript

"Cops" meets "Star Wars" as a camera crew spends a day travelling around with Imperial Troopers on the beat. The first run in is called Stolen Droids and is about some Jawas who are suspected of possessing stolen goods. The second is a Domestic Dispute involving a couple who live on a desert farm.

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Troops is filmed on location,
with the men of the Imperial forces.

All suspects are guilty. Period.

Otherwise, they wouldn't be suspect,
would they?

I joined the Empire about six years ago,

I can remember as a kid,
you know, watching

the holographic images
and getting excited

about the new direction
that the Galaxy was taking,

So when I was old enough,
I went down to the local

recruitment center and,
you know, and signed up.

and I've been here at Tatooine ever since.

Most people would call this



the "ass-end of space," but

I like the small-town
feeling you get around here.

I mean, we know everybody.
Everybody.

And I feel like I can really

make a difference here.

We got a routine stop here.

We have a report of some

stolen droids, and...uh...

we think these might be it.

Excuse me.

Uh, you wanna come over here, please?

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

Uh, whose droid is this?

Uh huh... it's your cousin's.



Is this your cousin? This your cousin?

Are you his cousin?

No?

Okay, then who are ya?

Ah, you're his friend.

Well, Mr. Friend, would you step

over there for a moment, please?

Okay, so the droid
belongs to your cousin...

Now, if I go over to that sand

crawler, over there,

and ask to see your cousin,

is he going to have
a bill of sale for this?

Okay. Well, what I'm gonna do now, sir,

is place you under Imperial arrest...

So we can only help...

HEY! Am I talking to you ?

Am I talking to you?

Then stay over there, and shut your mouth!

Now, if ya moves again,
I'm, uh, gonna shoot ya.

No. Yeah, I understand.

I got a wife and kids too, but ya don't

see me out here stealing

Imperial droids, now do ya.

Yeah, sure you'll never do it again.

- Hey, there goes the other one.
- I got him.

Okie doke... uh, shut the camera off.

Yeah, shut it off. Shut it off!

Well, what we had here was that...

these Jawas had stolen
some Imperial property,

and it unfortunately
turned violent.

These Jawas do this
kind of stuff all the time,

pickin' up, you know...

stray droids, and selling

them off to the highest
paying customer...

Well, we didn't find the droids
we were looking for.

But we did find one that
a kid had reported stolen.

So he and his parents
are gonna come down

to the detention center
and... uh... pick it up.

- Boy, I bet they'll be happy.
- Yep, that's what it's all about.

We got a call to check
out this domestic dispute.

Now, supposedly the husband
said something to their kid,

and now the wife
thinks he's run off.

Supposedly, one of them is intoxicated,
and one of them is injured.

Now, we're familiar with this couple,

you know this is not the
first time we've been out here.

So we're going to see if we
can straighten this whole thing out.

All right, what's the problem here, Beru?

I've had it! I've had it with him!

He keeps lying to Luke and me,

and now Luke has run
off and hasn't come back.

That's ridiculous!

Hey! I'll talk to
you in a second,

right now I'm talking to your wife,
all right.

And Luke's probably dead now,
because of you!

Now, Beru, just calm down. Calm down, okay?

Now, do you want to be arrested?

Well, if you they keep this up,
that's just what I'm going to have to do.

- You don't want that, do you?
- No !

Okay then, are you going to calm down.

Okay, good, why don't you start over.

Well, yesterday Luke comes in and says,
"I think these droids..."

- Now, now, Luke's your boy?
- My nephew.

Anyway, he says "I think these
droids we bought might be stolen."

And then he says "Well, I don't care.
Your only concern is to get them working."

And Luke is like,
"I want to go to the academy."

And he says, "Well, I need you

for the harvest this year."

And then he starts talking
about Obi-wan and his father.

- I did not.
- Yes you did!

- Oh...
- Yes you did! You're just lying!

You're always lying to him!

You never tell him the
truth about him or his sister!

Beru, shut up!

No, I'm tired of shutting up!
You shut up!

You can both shut up or spend
the night in the detention area, all right?

All right? Now, look.

What do you want to do now, Beru?

Beru, what do you want to do now?

- I don't know!
- Okay, now see, that's wrong.

What do you mean, you don't know?

You obviously have a problem,
otherwise we wouldn't be...

I don't have a problem.

Beru... come here.

Do you see his ear, how it's cut like that?

Now,
it didn't get that way by itself, did it?

No.

And... you did that didn't you?

Yes, yes you did.

Now, see, that tells me you have a problem.

And when we get called in,
then it became OUR problem.

- But he's the one who started it...
- Now, wait a second, Beru.

I'm talking.
I listened to you, now you listen to me.

That's how this works, okay?
Now, are you going to listen to me.

- Yes.
- Uh huh, sure you are.

Now, how many times
have we been out here, Beru?

A lot, huh?
We know the way by heart.

- What did I tell you last time?
- I don't know!

You don't know or you don't remember?

I don't know!

Beru, what do you want to do?

I want you to arrest him!

I can't arrest him.
He hasn't done anything!

If there's anybody I should be arresting,
it should be you, for assault.

Beru, you have two choices here.

And yelling and arresting
him are not two of 'em.

Now, you can stay here,
or we can take you to an Imperial shelter.

What do you want to do?

Beru, what do you want to do?

Do you want us to take
you somewhere tonight ... huh, do you?

- Yes.
- OK.

Now, do you need to get anything?
Some clothes, or something?

Yes.

- You'll, you'll find Luke, won't you?
- Yeah, yeah. We'll find Luke.

He's just working!

What a pain in the butt.

See, the wife is under the delusion that
their nephew ran away.

And she's blaming the husband for it.

He's saying that the kid left early
to fix a couple of condensers,

and that the stress of the past week
has just gotten to her.

So we're just going to
seperate them for the night,

because if we have to
come out here again...

Tell me something I don't know.

I'm tellin' ya,
I'm ready to shoot 'em both.

Yep, right there with ya.

Look,
she's been under a lot of stress lately...

Uh huh.

- We lost a couple of our hired hands...
- Uh-huh.

I don't know,
just got carried away a little bit.

Oh, yeah, I know, I know.

But right now,
I think the best thing for both of you is

to get some distance from
each other for a couple of days.

Yep,
I been telling her and telling her that...

I've been telling her
she needs some help,

I've been telling her
for a long time now...

Oh, this is probably the best thing for
her right now, you know what I mean?

- Just leave it alone, let it be.
- Fine.

You should really have
someone look at that ear.

- I'll be fine.
- Hmmm... Okay.

Let it go!

Should have seen this comin'...

Thermal detonator!

Get back, get back!

Well, as you can see,
things got a bit nasty here.

I mean, it's unfortunate, but it was
almost expected with these people.

But, you know,
the farmer's out here having a bad season,

temperatures are high,
and it's just bad for everyone.

The important thing now
is that we find their nephew,

ah, Duke?, and make sure he's ok.

Hey... did she say they just bought
some stolen droids or something?

Yep...yep, yep, yep, yep.

Damn shame. Damn shame.

HK-888

Check out possible disturbance,
Mos Eisley cantina.

HK-888. Roger that Control.