Trojan Eddie (1996) - full transcript

The story of Eddie, a small town ex-con, who discovers he has talent for selling anything and everything. Eddie sees a way to rise above the low life by setting up on his own. What he didn't bargain for, was the murder and mayhem along the way.

[interposing voices]

Do you see this razor?

I tell you, words cannotexpress my love for this razor.

This is the Rolls Royce ofrazors, did you know that?

[razor buzzing]

It glides across your
face like a hovercraft.

It's cordless, light
as a feather, too.

And talk about a close shave!

I tell you, if it
was any closer,

I'd have to sell
it as a vibrator.

What are you laughing at?[laughing]



I tell you, the first
time I used this razor,

I liked it so much, I went outand knocked off the warehouse.

Seriously though, 70
quid up at the town.

Needless to say,
I'm not asking 70.

I'm not asking 60 or 50 even.

I'm not asking 40.

I'm not asking 30 for
this beautiful machine.

I'll tell you what
I'm going to do.

I'm going to let it go for 10.

Who'll give me 10 pounds for it?- Here, here!

Eddie!
Eddie, over here!

Oh, the hell with it then.

I'm feeling generous.

And that's a dangerous
trait in my profession,



I don't mind telling you.

There was an old trader
called Patsy Murphy who

died of it last year, you know?

In fact, that's what theyput on his tombstone.

Here lies Patsy Murphy
who died of generosity

on the 24th of May.

But I'm a man who likesliving dangerously, so I'll

tell you what I'm
going to do-- I'm going

to let this go for a fiver.

And I'm going to throw inthis little hand mirror,

so you can watch your lilywhite skin while you're at.

Did I say a fiver?

No, I meant 3.
Yes, 3 pounds!

Who'll give me 3 pounds for it?Yes!

Sold all right to the scruffylittle man down at the back.

And boy, do you need it.

Here, Dermot, don't
forget his mirror.

Who's is the
fairest in the land?

I don't think so.

[knocking]

How's it going, Raymie?

How's it going?

Who'll give me
two pounds-- please,

sir, don't put your
hand up till you

know what I have on me mind.

[laughing]

For you might not
want what I'm selling.

And if I point to you and youhave your hand in the air,

then I want me money regardless!

[laughing]

Dropped a fellow in the[inaudible] the other night.

Went done like a ton of bricks.

Broke a bone in me hand.

Story of my life-- even
when I win, I lose.

Listen, uh-- uh--
I haven't managed

to shift that other thingyet-- like, you know?

And, uh-- I don't want to doanything hasty or anything.

I mean, another couple
of days should do it.

But sure, it's been
a week already, Raymie.

I mean, you don't write
and you don't phone.

I mean, what am I
supposed to think, like?

Who'll give me 2 quitfor whatever's on me mind?

Anybody?

Yes.

You're prepared to
give me two pounds

for whatever's on me mind.

Well, supposing I was to tellyou I have nothing on me mind.

So it's only 2 quid.

Fair enough.

Dermot, go and get me money.

I wish everybody was like you.

I would be a millionaire by now.

As it happens, I do have
something on me mind.

As it happens, this is yourlucky day cause I'm going

to give you this alarm clock.

And I'm going to throw
in this set of bone

china for the parlor,
perfume from Paris

for behind your ear, someaftershave for the man

in your life, a
portable phone, so you

can give him a bell any time youfeel like checking up on him!

[laughing]

A toolbox for the handyman.

I thought said you were handy?

I am handy.

I only live around the corner.

[whistling]

I'll tell you what I'm
going to do for you--

I'm going to give until tomorrowto get the money for me.

RAYMIE: Tomorrow?

Aye, tomorrow.

Wednesday, right?

Huh?

Tomorrow's Thursday.

Thursday?

Are you sure?

I thought-- thought
tomorrow was Wednesday.

Thursday.

Well, in the case, Raymie,I'm afraid you're out of luck.

Huh?

[grunting]

A track suit, a box full ofthe latest videos, an umbrella!

And what about this beautifulornament for the mantelpiece?

Polar bear with young.

Sheets and pillow cases.

DERMOT: What are you doing?

I'm going to needanother bag there, Dermot.

What are you doing?
You'll ruin the stuff.

That's enough.

Just get me another
bag, will you?

A Walkman!

A duvet cover!

Two electric blankets--
an over and an under!

And what about this
beautiful lampshade, eh?

Take it easy with
that shade, Dermot.

It's fragile.

Like your brain.

[laughing]

Thanks.

Can I see you again some time?

I don't know about that.

I'm married.

Give us your number anyway.

Sure, who knows?

You see the miracles
I perform here.

Now I'm finished
piddling around.

I'm here to make money.

And any man, woman,
or child who is not

prepared to spend at least50 quid in this shop today

should leave here and now!

Go on!

Beat it!

Go back from whence you came andquit wasting my time here cause

I'm going to lock the
doors now and we're

going to do some real business!

I'm looking for 50 pounds a headfrom each and every one you!

And then I'm going to takethe lot of you on a short trip

up the Zambuzzi River and you'regoing to come back with a boat

load of bargain freganzinnis!

Freganzinnis!

No one leaves here empty handed.

In fact, some of
yous will need help!

Eddie!

Eddie!

Over here, Eddie!

Lock the doors!

They're coming in the windows!

[music playing]

I tell you, if I didn't haveto hand this over every day,

I'd be laughing off [inaudible].

But I swear to god, itbreaks me bloody heart, boy.

Yeah?

Say nothing to your
uncle about this.

What do you take me for, eh?

Say nothing to
no one about it.

All right.
Stop fussing, will you?

Right!

Trojan Eddie has come to town!

[dog barking]

[music playing]

What do you know?

The wanderers are
home from the hills!

How's it going, boys?

[dog growling]

Leave the load up for next week.

Yeah.

Here you go.

[laughing]

[laughing]

Start loading
her up, will you?

Take as many of those
what-do-you-call-its

as you can find.

Since when did you startgiving orders around here?

Eh, boy?

Huh?

Where's the money?

[dog barking]

Is dad around?

He's up above.

Why?

Oh, I just wondered.

Yeah.

Well, don't.

DERMOT: All right, Eddie?

Yeah.

All right.

Hi, man.

[music playing]

Had a visit from the
powers this morning,

looking for the money.

I got this big, old,antique wardrobe off them

a couple weeks ago there.

So give it back it to them.

I've already sold it,sure, and spent the money.

Well, I mean, I have to live!

To tell you the
truth, I think Ginger

just fancies taking at a smackat me over that other thing.

I mean, how many times
do I have to tell you?

She's trouble!

But sure, nothing reallyhappened anyway like, you know?

Just stay away
from her altogether.

I'll be all right.

I'll wrangle me way
out of it all right.

Fucking pricks.

So how's business?

All right.

Yeah?

Do you miss me?

Huh?

Hey, we were a good team, mate,before that other little shit

came along.

Dermot's all right.

What do you mean,
he's all right?

He's hard set to count to 10.

He can count all right.

Huh?

We should break away
on our own, anyway.

Start up our own little outfit.

We could pull off
a bit of a job.

Why not?

I still have the balaclavas.

All right, I know
the last job didn't

go so well for you and that.

- Yeah, like 12 months.
- Yeah.

And I mean to say, thesethings happen, like you know?

I mean, where else are
we going to get it?

I mean, it's not going tofall from the sky or anything,

is it?

[marching band playing]

We are gathered
here today to remember

our deceased relatives,
friends, and loved ones.

And to honor them by ourpresence and our prayers.

As I look around me heretoday-- at the beautiful graves

surrounded by flowers and thewell kept resting places--

I can't but think how fortunatewe are to be living in a land

where the dead are
not forgotten, where

the souls of the
departed are not left

to be abandoned to the abyss.

We still believe-- thank God--in the forgiveness of faith,

the forgiveness of sin, theresurrection of the dead,

and the life of the
worldly father--

Poor, old Kitty.

God to be good to her, huh?

You keep the grave lovelyanyway, John, fair play to you.

The grave-- you keep
it lovely, John.

Well, it's the
least I could do.

She was a great wife
and a very good mother.

Is that all, right?

Kathleen.

This is me oldest
girl now, John.

What?

Did you say a prayer
for poor, old Kitty?

Aye.

Here's Betty.

How are you Betty?
- Hi, Betty.

Hey, Betty.

How are you, lads?

I see the lads are
here in force, anyway.

Every year, boy, without fail.

It's a wonder he's not
over there with them.

It's a great wonder
to me he isn't then.

I'm just nipping overto say a prayer for Dory.

I'm going to tell
you one thing, son,

what, you fell on yourfeet the day you met her.

- Do you reckon?
- Yeah.

I do.

She's too good for him,[inaudible], ain't she, huh?

She's not one bit
too good for him.

He comes from a very
respectable family.

And don't you forget it!

I wouldn't her mad, boy.

Fair play to you, maj.

Hello.

How are you?

[music playing]

[interposing voices]

Hey, John.

Yeah?

Start with it.

Who's that there?

DERMOT: Huh?

The fella talking
to Gerry's daughter.

Oh, that's, uh--
Patsy McDonagh.

Patsy McDonagh.

[water pouring]

Kathleen!

[inaudible], do you?

What are you doing outhere with no shoes on you?

Hey, you know
me, a hardy snake!

Yeah.

Well, you won't be so hardywhen you get a big, dodgy piece

of glass up you.

Stop fussing, will you?

What were you
smiling at, anyway?

When?

Coming across the field.

Oh, I was just thinkingabout a song I heard in the pub

last night.

What's the name of it?

I don't know.

Something with an
angel or something.

I can't think of it now.

[alarm clock buzzing]

[music playing]

Eddie?

[door opening]

[clock ticking]

CHILD: [inaudible].

[dogs barking]

Right.

See you later.

Let's go.

Yeah?

This is it?

Yeah.

[engine revving]

Kathleen!

Kathleen!

Could be a good match
for Rosy, you know?

That's not right, Gerry.

She's too young
and he's too old.

I don't care what you say.

[music playing]

So what time?

I need to know, if I'm
making your dinner.

Just have the
dinner ready, right?

I want to be back for
that heap of shite

you gave me for the breakfast.

There's no point
making it so, is there?

The fucking dogs
wouldn't eat it.

Here's me father.
We have to go.

[dog barking]

[MUSIC - THE FUREYS, "THE PRICKLY BUSH"]

[SINGING WITH RADIO]
Oh, the prickly bush.

It feels my heart full of sore.

And if ever I get
away from that bush,

I'll never get caught anymore.

Her dad's the bare
knuckle boxer, you know?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

He'd beat you for
just looking at me.

I wasn't looking at you.

Hey Eddie, tell herabout yourself and Raymie.

Himself and Raymie knocked off apost office one time, you know?

They would have got away
with it and that, only

Eddie bought himself
a new car, which

looked kind of suspicious.

What did they give you, Eddie?

12 months?

They gave him a year
because he wouldn't

grass on another fella.

But sure, as the cowboy said tothe horse, why the long face?

What?

Do you get it?

Why the long face?

Jeez, will you let me
out of here, will you?

[laughing]

[crow cawing]

[music playing]

We pulled our little barreltank wagon right down that hill

there-- right across here--let the horses off, and this

is where we pitched our camp.

Here we were.

We were fine and snug here.

Fresh water.

And look-- rations of
firewood for the fire.

[inaudible] me little
sister, Bridget.

We were [inaudible]
all together-- running

here, through the woods.

See those rocks?

We should be climbing
up those rocks.

I started rambling
into town, knocking

around with the local boys.

Old billiard halls and that.

And my sister, Bridget,
met a settle lad,

and ran off, and got married--Dermot's mother and father.

And that summer, the familythought it was time to move on,

but I refused to go.

Me dad was very
disappointed, I think.

Raging with himself,
really, for dawdling

too long at the watch spot.

And he tried to persuade
me to go along with him,

but-- but-- but sure,
my mind was made up.

And they went off without me.

And I never took
to the road again.

My wings were sort of
clipped, I suppose.

But you married a traveler?

Aye.

I married a traveler.

Old Kitty.

The Lord be good to her.

I don't like the road myself.

When I get married,
I want to live

in a house with a little orchardout the back, and a swing

for the children, and all.

People think that travelersdon't like beautiful things,

but we do.

And they think that wedon't feel the cold as well,

but that's not true either.

I love the feel of fresh
water, the sound of it,

and the wonder of it--
where it comes from,

and where it's
going to, and all.

It's a fairly powerful
thing, all right.

[birds chirping]

I, uh-- I-- I learned to
swim in there, you know?

It was a case of having to.

I fell in there one day.

And before I knew
it, sure-- you know,

well, I was sort of swimming.

You're sure everyone
loves beautiful things?

I think I'll go for a
bit of a swim, meself.

What?

Jesus, Kathleen!

What?

Keep an eye out, won't you?

Tell me if anyone's coming.

What?

Go on with you!

Jesus, Kathleen!

I'd rather you wouldn't.

DERMOT: Pull in here.

Huh?

I'll walk her
across the field.

That far?

In case we wake the children.

[music playing]

What do you mean I was
acting a Mary Magdalene?

Stripping for that old man!

You think he's going
respect you after that?

Do me a favor, will you?

He does so respect me.

And for your information,he's wanting to marry me.

Yeah?

And do you want to know why?

Did you even ask yourself why?

Well, I'll tell you
why-- because you

remind him of his wife, meauntie Kitty, that's why.

So you needn't bother yourarse flattering yourself

with all that, girl.

[banging]

Yeah.

I'm me.

Meself.

No one else.

And I won't be lumped withanyone else here and not

by you, or him, or anyone.

[hissing]

Whoa!
Take it easy.

Take it easy now.

There's no need for that.

Now take it easy.

What are you trying
to do-- get the two

of us killed or something?- Look, stop worrying, will you?

Nothing happened.

Nothing happened in
an hour and a half?

And nothing happened?- Yeah, well, it's done now.

It's over.
Forget it.

Come on.
Let's go.

What do you mean, forget it?

Forget it.
Come on.

Let's go!
- Just a minute, pal.

I've been waiting here
for you for an hour

and a fucking half, mate!

An hour and a half!
- So what?

Do you want to do somethingabout it or something?

Huh?

Come on!
Come on!

Do something about it!
Huh?

Come on!

I don't know.

[engine revving]

I only hope she was worth it.

That's all I hope.

[WHISPERING] What are
you doing, Kathleen?

[WHISPERING] Nothing.

Go back to sleep.

She's back, Ed.

Tell her to go.

You're better off
without her altogether.

She's no bloody good, that one.

Such a night we had.

And I have to comfort
them with her here!

[tv playing]

How are you, Shirley?

How are you?

I'm off now, Eddie.

I wanted to get home and
get, Eddie, some of me

late night bingo.

Aye.
Here's it.

Here.

Thanks, Eddie.

Thanks.

Look, if there's a
problem, just say so.

There's no problem.

OK.

I mean, I still have a stakein this house-- a big stake--

so if there's a problem--

There's no problem.

SHIRLEY: Right.

Go ahead upstairs, lads.

Will yous?

Good girls.

So what happened?

What do you mean,
what happened?

Nothing happened.

I just need a place to stayfor a little while, that's all.

I mean, if it's too much to askthat I can come home and stay

in my own house, well--

Look, I told you before,you can come back anytime.

I told you that.

You know that.

You-- you're still my
wife and their mother.

There's always
room for you here.

You know that.
- Yeah?

Yeah.
I mean--

Yeah, well, I sort of heardsomething to the contrary,

Eddie, like you know?

Anyways, you don't
worry about it.

I won't be stopping too long.

I'll stick me bags
in the box room.

Um--

What?

Nothing.

Just promised Jenny she couldhave her own room, that's all.

It's all right though, man.

And where's the clock?

Now don't tell me-- the
price was right, right?

How long is she staying for?

Don't know.

A couple of weeks.

Something like that.

I told her, out straight,I'm not having it.

I mean to stay the children areupset enough without all that.

Well, maybe you
have to put your foot

down this time, Eddie.

I mean, what are people
going to think like?

Her coming back whenever
she feels like it.

Anyway.

Your mother and
meself were drooling

over these the other day.

You should've seen her, Eddie.

Imagine to do a
holiday in the sun.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Sure.

I mean, I don't mind, meself,as long as there's sunshine.

How much?

Well, if we would
book it now, we'd get it

under 1,000 for the lot of us.

And that's not bad.

I mean, we'd be going
at pig time, you know?

975.

1,000, more or less.

But sure, I'd go
halves with you.

I know.

I wouldn't expect that.

You know I have me
money save and all.

We'd have a great
time out there, sure--

the kids and your mother.

I was half
thinking of branching

out on me own, like you know?

1,000 could go a long way.

Well, at least think about it.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, I'll definitely
think about it.

[music playing]

Dad wants a word with you?

What?

Get in.

Take the lads up home
for me, Betty, will you?

Yeah.

Right.

Bye, daddy.

You all right, lads?

See you later on, eh?

[door slamming]

Ginger, give a minute.

You didn't leave Dermot alonewith the girl at any time

last night, did you?

No.

Did you, uh-- leave
her to the door?

No.

We dropped her at
the end of the field.

What did you do that for?

We didn't want to
wake the children.

Was that Dermot's idea?

No.

I don't think so.

JOHN POWER: Hm?

No.

It was, uh-- what
do you call it?

I don't know.

All our ideas like.

All your ideas?

TROJAN EDDIE: Yeah.

More or less.

- More or less?
- Yeah.

JOHN POWER: Well, which was it?

Huh?

I mean, was it more or less?

Well, then how come she didn'tget home until half 11:00?

Don't know.

She must have went
somewhere else.

Oh.

Where?

Show me.

Come on, Miley,
dinner's ready.

Ma wants you.

[dogs barking]

Patsy McDonagh?

You whore monger!

Stop him!

Stop him, you fucking prick!

I'll beat you good looking!

Let go of me!

[grunting]

Jesus, Ginger!

Ginger!

Come on!

For fuck's sake.

Fuck off, you!

A grown man could drawnin 3 or 4 inches of water.

Would you?

You can!

What are you trying to do--kill the chap or something?

Jesus, I mean, what
did he do anyway?

Your a turd, ain't you?

Huh?

You're a turd, aren't you?

[coughing]

You're a bloody
bastard, ain't you?

[groaning]

Bring him here.

Here.

Take this now.

And get out of here.

Take the mail boat
to London tonight.

Don't ever come back hereagain or I'll kill you.

Why London?

I don't know no one over there.

You ain't knowingnobody over there, do you?

You're a bastard, you!

You're going to get itfrom me one of these days,

you know that?

[music playing]

[drunkenly humming]

I think I made a big
mistake, Eddie, getting

involved with these people.

We all make our
own beds to lay in.

Yeah, I know,
but all the same.

Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa.

Every time I look atyou, I feel like shouting,

man overboard!

I'm all right.

Huh?

Nothing.

What did you say, I said.

I said I'm all right.

See you're going down
with the ship, boy.

I feel like throwing yourlife jacket or something.

You see that fist?

Go on, take a look at that fist.

Take a right look at that fist.

Do you see those rings?

Here.

They're me father's rings.

I broke a fella's jawwith that fist one night.

Phoo!

[grunting]

And another night-- anothernight, I broke a fella's nose.

Phoo!

Right there.

[WHISPERING] Did you--
did you ever hear

the sound of a nose breaking?

Yeah.

It's a-- it's a sore
sound, you know?

You see that scar?

Do you see it?

Do you?

One night, in the pubbrawl, a fella bit me there.

He bored his teeth
into me, like a wolf.

And then he squeezed
me by the balls.

And he squeezed, and
he squeezed, and he

squeezed until he muted me.

I won that fight.

I won all those fights.

I won every fight I ever fought!

You know what I mean?

Like ever!

What?

What?

What?

What?

Nothing.

Listen here, you--
fuck off, mate.

What?

I said, fuck off, mate.

[screaming]

[crashing]

All right, Mr. Power.
Take it easy now.

Take it easy!

That's what you alwayssay to me-- take it easy!

What do you take me for?

Take it easy!

That's what he does--
he takes it easy!

You want me to end up like him?

Do you?

He's a peasant, a buffer.

He's a punk!

But I'm a king.

And a king needs a queen.

You people, you haven't a clue!

No idea!

None!

When my family-- my dadaand my mom-- came in-- Yeah.

You have no idea!

None, whatsoever!

None!

Get out of my fucking way.

Come on, Ginger!

Fuck off home, you.

Sorry about that, Matt.

Why did you bring themin here in the first place?

For Christ's sake.

Jesus

Christ.

[SINGING] I know, for
sure, that I would--

fucking [inaudible].

That's right!

I'm telling all
yous, for fuck's sake!

They're all buffers!

They're all a crowd
of fucking buffers!

[john power drunkenly singing]

ANNOUNCER: [ON TV]
So now then, Eric, so

what is your major
decision of the evening?

Is it going to be Go
for Gold or is it going

to be Shoot for the Stars?

ERIC: [ON TV] Shoot
for the Stars.

ANNOUNCER: [ON TV] You'regoing to Shoot for the Stars.

Very good.

Press the button there andthe very best of luck to you.

There's lots of money in thekitty now, just remember that.

Let's see how you do.

4,500 you have--
you've doubled it!

The girls in bed?

Yeah.

You're overworked, Eddie.

And you know what theysay about that, don't you?

Oh, no.

I wasn't working, justgot rubbed into something.

That's all.

Still the good little boy youused to be, huh? [inaudible].

Yeah, well, not for muchlonger, I can tell you.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'm thinking of-- about mebranching out on me own,

you know?

I mean, you'd be better witha sort of a permanent place

downtown, you know?

Let them come to
me for a change.

Yeah.

But it all takes money
though, don't it?

Yeah.

I'm starting to get a few quidtogether now like, you know?

Cream a little bit off the top,now and then, like, you know?

And before you know it,you'll be taking holidays

in the sun and everything?

So tell me about
this place then.

I mean, do you have a particularplace in mind and that?

Yeah.

There's a place downtownthat's going for half nothing,

I believe.

I mean, it'll take a bit
of doing up and that,

but, I mean, I don't needa palace or anything.

Four walls, and a door,
and I'd make money.

I see, says the blind man.

Trojan Eddie, huh?

Yeah.

A little hat on me head and all.

Listen, Eddie, is there aspare key around here anywhere?

Huh?

Yeah.

Out in the kitchen there,hanging up in the old

[inaudible] out there.

I'm going out for awhile.

Don't wait up for me.

[music playing]

[dogs barking]

The house?

Oh, Kathleen.

Kathleen.

[clocks ticking]

[dogs barking]

CHILD: Here she comes!

[applause]

[cheering]

Bye!

[music playing]

[SINGING] Come on,
girl, rush along,

you just take your time causeyou ain't no friend of mine!

Shove a whole way from mydoor-- old man trouble--

and don't you never
come back no more!

Old man trouble!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Congratulations!

[interposing voices]

Ladies and gentlemen,
the bride and groom!

[cheering]

[music playing]

[SINGING] Go to
sleep, my little tinker.

Let all your
troubles pass you by.

Oh, you have no
place to camp now.

Ah, that's a tinker's lullaby!

Ever since you were a baby--

Hi, Shirley.

Hiya.

SINGER: [SINGING] Cradled inyour mother's shawl, the site,

they said--

Huh?

Hey, what are you doing?

What do you mean?

I'm dancing.

I'm dancing.

You're supposed to
be watching the cars.

Well, sure, the
cars are up there.

I know!
That's the point.

You're supposed to
be watching them.

I mean, what's
the problem anyway?

The girl asked me to dance.What am I supposed to do?

Refuse her?

I mean, I feel sort
of sorry for her--

got mixed up with this crowd.- She made her bed.

Yeah.
I know all that.

Nevertheless--

Anyway, you're getting
paid to watch the cars,

not to dance with her.

So watch the cars!

What's wrong with you, huh?

I mean, this is just
a-- what do you call it?

I mean, what's wrong with you?

Are you going to
watch the cars or not?

No, I'm not.

Watch the cars.

Where are you going?

If you go, I'm not paying you.

I'm warning you, Raymie,
I'm not paying you!

Yeah, yeah, yea!

Watch the cars!

What's wrong with you?

SINGER: [SINGING] When yourmother died and left you,

you had to fend all alone

All in this land of
saints and scholars--

Do you have to go back?

Yeah.

I have to be there in caseanyone needs a lift home,

you know?

So did she look good?

Who?

The bride.

Oh, yeah.

Sure.

Grand.

Lovely.

So who was there all?

Oh, I don't know.

Sure, they came from nearand far like, you know?

Yeah.
Packed, huh?

Yeah.

So who was there from here?

Eh-- no one you'd know.

I mean, they were all--
what do you call it?

Like, you know?

Yeah.

No, it was just that I
thought I saw Shirley

going in there at one stage.

Yeah?

When was that?

Not so long ago.

Well, if she did,she's gate crashing then.

When was it?

Don't know.

Not too long ago.

All dressed up?

You didn't see her then, no?

Look, she's not invited
or anything, if that's

what you're getting at.

I mean, I'm not invited.
I'm working it.

I mean, I'm not a guest or I'm--- Yeah.

I know all that.

I'm not saying anything.

Well, you're looking atme as if to say something.

BETTY: What?

Ah, well, look-- nothing.

Forget it.

I better be getting back.

You're as touchy lately.

It's like walking oneggshells, talking to you.

What's supposed to be
wrong with you anyway?

Don't know.

It's just sort of a feelingabout this one, you know?

But sure, why don't
you just get out of it?

I don't think I can anymore.

It's as if the story's
already begun, you know?

And I'm sort of-- I'mlocked into it or something.

That's ridiculous, Eddie.

Yeah.

I know it is, but
that's the way I feel.

Look, I'm going to go.

I'll see you tonight
some time, eh?

Yeah.

Be careful, won't you?

I'll be all right.

See you.

[music playing]

[SINGING] They love is likea flower, even when it's new.

But love is like flower
only when it's true.

And then love is like a diamond,but they haven't got a clue.

Love can take you to the starsand love makes a fool of you.

Once I had a lover who
swore his love was true.

He left me for another,
gave his baby blues.

Now my heart is full ofthunder, but what am I to do?

You know what I'm
talking about--

Would you care for a dance?

SINGER: [SINGING] Whenlove makes a fool of you.

Oh!

Oh!

When love makes a fool of you.

Once I had a lover who
swore his love was true.

Well, what do you
think of her, Lily?

Oh, I don't know, John.

To tell you the
truth, I sort of hoped

that you'd fall for a slightlyolder woman this time around.

Well, maybe next time.

[SINGING] But what am I to do?

Maybe-- maybe I'll walk
on all right to the end

with the help of the Lord.- Aye.

Maybe.

At the same time, John.

[SINGING] When love
makes a fool of you.

Her face in ever flower,
her name on every rose.

You'll need her arms aroundyou when the cold winds blow.

You'll think that
you're in heaven,

but you haven't got a clue.

Love can you take to the starsand love makes a fool of you.

[laughing]

And know it' true-- Oh!

Love makes a fool of you!

[applause]

[cheering]

Dermot!

[SINGING] I was born
and reared in Boston,

a place you all know well.

Brought up by honest parents--

He's tough as nails.

The strongest man I ever met.

I heard that, all right.

I mean, Gerry here is
strong, but he couldn't

hold a candle to my dad.

I mean, you couldn't hold acandle to my dad, that right?

I could not.

The old bastard.

Where is he now?

Well, Gerry, all
set for Saturday?

Yeah.

Set as I'll ever be.

You get plenty of fight.

You better be cause
I'm going to slap

every penny of that on it.

And I want to see teeth andhair flying in all directions!

[laughing]

I'm going into the house.

Right.

Right, Kathleen.

I'll-- I'll, um-- I'll
be in, in a minute.

[laughing]

What?

What?

[interposing voices]

Isn't it well for me, boy?

Fair play to you, John.

You all right?

Why wouldn't I be?

No reason.

I think you'd better go
back to the party, boy.

[music playing]

[mumbling]

Cheers.

You're welcome.

[dogs barking]

What do you want?

Just brought back the car.

Take the keys up to him.

[interposing voices]

Jesus, I'm terrible
sorry about this, John.

Disgraced the family, she did!

And as for that other
fella-- he's dead!

Where have you been?

I had to drive Mrs. Cash home?

What did you tell me youdid with the money again?

I gave it to Kathleen.

[clocks ticking]

What about Dermot?

Dermot?

Never saw Dermot.

Wait outside with
the rest of them.

What's going on?

Oh, [inaudible]
bunk with the bride.

They took the case of
money and everything.

A living grand.

War.

[phone ringing]

Right, lads, the
Great Southern Hotel.

Let's go!
Come on, boys!

Come on!

[dogs barking]

Come on!

Come on, will you?

Hurry up then!

Jesus, it gets cold!

Come on!

Hello, Dermot.
It's Eddie.

They know where you are, Dermot.

They're coming to get you.

I don't know.

The war drums or
something on you people.

So you'd better get out
of there fairly pronto.

Oh, by the way, thanks
for dropping me in it.

There was nearly 11,000 inthat little suitcase, you know?

Yeah, well, you
might be glad to know

that I've been getting thefucking evil eye ever since.

I mean, what the fuck
were you thinking of?

I could have ended pushingup the [inaudible] here.

You're going to have to givethat money back to them,

you know?

What do you mean, how come?

I was responsible
for that money!

I mean, sooner or later,they're going to come calling,

you know?

And another thing, I neversaw you tonight either, right?

I never saw you.
[dial tone beeping]

Ah, shit!

The money's gone.

Listen, the money--
the money's gone out!

[slamming phone down]

SHIRLEY: That wasn't exactlya marriage made in heaven,

now was it?

[gasping]

It even makes you and me looklike the perfect pair, huh?

Poor Eddie.

What's poor about me?

You just keep gettingleft behind all the time.

I mean, there is that
young lad-- he ended

up with the money and the girl.

Will he live to
tell the tale though?

That's the trouble
with you, Eddie--

you want to live too young.

I mean, you have to end upwith the money and the girl.

Otherwise-- night.

Night.

[music playing]

[gulls squawking]

[giggling]

[cheering]

Come on!

Come on!

Look, he beat him
before the last time.

I know better.

3-1 is the odds.

Take it or leave it.

Come on!

I sat five big ones onMarcy to give me 4-1 odds.

I'll give you
3-1, if Gerry will

take him three rounds or under.

Right.

You're on!

You're on!

[cheering]

[inaudible].

[inaudible]

[smashing into car]

- Marcy!
- Come on there!

Marcy, get in there!

Go on!

Give it to him!

[laughing]

[cheering]

Well, if you're going
now, don't come back!

I won't be here!

Don't be here!

I tell you, don't be here!

Go back to your old
flat, you fucking troll!

You treat him better
than you treat me!

Get back in that housenow, like you're supposed to!

I'm not going anywhere!

Don't be around in my
fucking head anymore!

Don't come back!

What are you
fucking looking at?

[dog barking]

Will you do as you're
supposed to be doing?

[door slamming]

He's a ballsy little
bastard, I tell you,

coming into me all like that.

Yeah.

He must be feeling
lucky or something.

Listen, I want to be
straight with you.

I want to see her again.

Her voice at least.

I don't care what she hasto say to me, you know?

I mean, I don't
really care, you know?

Whatever.

I'd like you to tell that,if you should see her again.

And, uh-- you can
tell her, also,

that, uh-- I don't
care what she's done,

I'll take her back whenevershe wants to come back.

I mean, I'm telling
you this because I

know that-- that
you'll understand like.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jesus.

Yeah, he says.

Your missus could be bangingright in front of you

and you'll still take herback cause you're a sucker.

I mean, I know-- I know
we're all suckers when

it comes to women,
but you-- jeez,

you'll take it to the extreme.

Man, you're a fucking
double decker.

I mean, you should have heldon to that money, you know?

I did.

I mean, I just gave
it to Kathleen.

Oh, you gave it to Kathleen.

You didn't give it to Dermot?

Told you I never
even saw Dermot.

Just like you never lefthim alone with her that night.

Just like he never walkedher across the field like.

I suppose you thought thatthat was funny-- you and him.

And you better pray,
too, that that money

is in tact when I find him.

Otherwise, someone's goingto get hurt around here

and it won't be me.

Now fuck off with your yeah.

And another thing-- don't gettoo close to that other fellow

down there, if I
was you, because he

don't look too lucky to me.

Aftershave for the
man in your life,

perfume from Paris for behindyour ear, an overnight case,

just in case.

We're going to need
another bag, Raymie.

Another grand would
be more like it.

A portable phone, so youcan give him a bell when you

feel like checking up on him!

Two pairs of bedroom
slippers-- his and hers.

What are you doing?
What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm definitely going toneed another bag, Raymie.

A toolbox for the handyman.

I thought you said
you were handy?

I am handy.I only live around the corner.

[chuckle]

I don't think I'm exactlycut out for this eternity lark,

if that's what you mean.

Is the money still intact?

- More or less.
- I'm all loaded up.

Now, Eddie, come on.Let's go and get out of here.

Yeah.
All right.

I'll be there in a minute.

Listen, she's going to haveto go back sooner or later.

You know that, don't you?- Yeah?

Absolutely.

When she does, you'll
be left high and dry.

And so will I, for
siding with you.

Now, I got something going on.

You could take the money
and come in with me.

50-50, down the middle.

Course, you'd have to liefairly low for a while,

but at least you'd
be making a few bob

while you're down there.

What do you think?

I don't know, Eddie.

I mean, I don't think shewants to go back to him yet,

you know?

Then you'll have to bail out.

Run out on her, you mean?

I don't know about that.

I mean, we didn't do it
for the money, you know?

What did you do it for?

I don't know.

Love and all that
jazz, I suppose.

Yeah.

Well, dying for love isone thing, Dermot, living

to tell the tale is another.

Yeah.

But sure, he's not going
to let us just walk

away with the money anyway.

We'll tell him it's
the price of love.

I thought you wanted me
to give it back to him.

Yeah.

Well, I changed me mind.

[horn honking]

I don't know.

I'll have to think about it.

We'll see.

- Where will you be?
- I don't know.

I'll call you.

[music playing]

How much did you say she'dbe wanting for it again?

Yeah.

She'd be looking for 100
a week anyway, I'd say.

Yeah?

No.

It's just that there's a fewdamp patches around the place

like, you know?

She wouldn't drop it down tothe 50 for the first year,

would she?

Just to give me a chance
to get on my feet a bit.

I'd say the lowest she'd gonow would be 75 like, you know?

Yeah?

But sure, I supposed
you'd be looking

for a place with windowsand everything, would you?

Nah.

No, not necessarily.

Windows only distract thecustomers after like, you know?

Aye?

Oh, absolutely.

How is she keeping anyway?

Oh, she's well.

Thanks.

I'll ask her to drop downto the 50, if you like?

Do you want me to?

I do.

All right.

So I'll ask her, sure.

It don't cost nothing
to ask, do it?

No.

TROJAN EDDIE: [VOICEOVER]These watches are the best

bargain you're ever
likely to meet cause

I give them away for nothing!

One for the lady in red,one for the lady in purple,

and one for the toothlesswonder down in the front there!

That's the kind of
thing that happens when

Trojan Eddie comes to town!

Jesus!

[car honking]

[inaudible]

[thunder booming]

Do you ever remember afellow called Bargain Joe, man?

Yeah.

Of course, I
remember Bargain Joe.

He used to have a stall inthe market one day a week.

Bargain Joe-- yeah.

He was a nice fella.

Used to stand and watch
that fella for hours

on end when I was a
little lad, you know?

Fascinated me, he did.

Jesus, he was a real
jingler [inaudible].

He could sell you somethingyou didn't even want, you know?

Yeah.
I know.

Flints, and lighters, andtin openers, and all that.

I mean, he wouldn't
do you now or nothing.

He just managed to
sell you something

you didn't particularly need.

That's all.

And the banter he had--
fucking genius, boy.

Do you know what his motto was?

Always buy cheaper
than you sell.

Simple.

Well, I'm sure of like
him now, you know?

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

Trojan Eddie.

And I come up with allthis spiel, too, you know?

It just sort of
spills out of me.

Hello, missus, fancy a canary?

Going cheap.

[laughing]

[phone ringing]

Yeah?

Eddie, it's Dermot.

I'm out in the oldcaravan in Kleary's Cross,

in case you're looking for me.

For you.

Hello, Dermot.

Yeah?

Well, what do you think?

What-- what do you think I mean?

Jesus.

I mean, come on!

Yeah.

I'm going to bail out.

Pick us up tonight at
the cross, will you?

Yeah, yeah.

I'll have the
money, don't worry.

What do you think
I'm going to do--

leave it here or something?

Yeah.

Right.

12:00 it is.

Don't be late.

So what do you got for me?

What do you want?

What do you got?

I'm getting out.

Yeah.

Right.

Oh, listen, we might haveto shift a bit of stuff

early tomorrow morning.
- Yeah.

Right.

[inaudible]

[music playing]

[phone dialing]

Take whatever you want
in there. [inaudible].

You want us to leave
the old telly, do you?

So you'll be coming back?

Yeah.

I'll be back in
about 10 minutes.

I don't know whether to takeall this stuff now or not.

Well, it's what we
came here for, ain't it?

That's the trouble
with you, Raymie,

you never lose any sleep.

I'm not going to lose anysleep over that little prick

anyway, that's for sure.

What, do you think he's goingto lose any sleep over you?

Where is he though?

That's what I'd like to know.

Fuck him.

Oh.

Dermot!

What happened?

The McDonaghs came after us.

- The McDonaghs?
- Yeah.

As if it wasn't bad
enough with her people

and the Powers looking for me.

Now the McDonaghs want
to get in on the act.

I think I cracked a ribtrying to get away from them.

Where's Kathleen?

She's upstairs, having a wash.

So where's the money?

The money's gone, Eddie.

What do you mean, it's gone?

We had to leave
it behind, sure.

The McDonaghs probably
have it by now.

You're joking me, right?

You're joking me!
Shit!

I don't believe it!

You fucking idiot, you!

Sure, what could I do?

I mean, they werestorming in on top of us!

I don't believe it!
I do not believe it!

I'm after getting
a rake of stuff

on the strength of-- course, youknow what I should have done?

I should have-- oh, fuck!

How did they know
where to find us,

is what I'd like to know.

What?

Shirley.

What do you know?

A fugitive of love, huh?

What's wrong with you?

Ah, go to bed, will you?

Do you know, i think I will.

After all, when a man leaves awoman with her legs in the air

to go running back to hislittle missus, it's time to call

it a day, I think, don't you?

You're an even bigger idiotthan I thought you were.

Mind you, one thing I will sayfor Dermot though is at least

he'd never leave a womanwith her legs in the air,

would you, Dermot?

What are you on about?

Jesus, your slow.

Don't mind her, Eddie.

Bitch!

Come back her to tramp
in and out like you

own the place or something!

Making a fool of me!

Haven't even looked
at the children!

So what if I'm
an unfit mother!

Sue me.

You're no great shakes yourself.

I do me best at least!

Ah, tell it to the judge.

What did you say?

You heard me.

You try and come betweenme and those children

and I swear to God--

All right, Eddie,
keep your shirt on.

I'm not even sure their bothyours, for Christ's sake.

[grunting]

Get off me!

Jesus!

[screaming]

Jesus, Eddie, leave her
alone, for God's sake!

Get the fuck out
of here, will you?

Come on, Dermot.

Jesus, Eddie, you know--

Get out of here!

Fucking [inaudible]!

Are you all right, daddy?

Yeah.

It's all right, lads.

Everything's all right.

[music playing]

No!

No!

Please, don't!

Piss off!

Where's our money?

What money?

We didn't see any
money, I swear!

Where's our fucking money?

I don't know what
you're talking about!

I thought I told you
to get out of here.

Yeah, I know, but I don'tknow no one over there.

Nothing here, John.

Just leave him alone, please.

[gun firing]

[horse neighing]

Where did you
say the money was?

Maybe the townie has it?

Trojan Eddie.

Kathleen said Dermot was on thephone to him a couple of times.

Trojan Eddie.

[SINGING] Maids,
when you're young,

never wed an old man causehe's got no faloorum,

he's lost his ding-doorum.

Maids, when you're young,never wed an old man.

He's got not faloorum,
he lost his ding-doorum.

Maids, when you're young,never wed an old man.

So you think I snitched
on him, is that it?

Did you?

What are you sidingwith him all the time for?

He's no friend of yours.

You could be on fire
and he wouldn't even

cross the road to piss on you.

What did he give you, Raymie?

20 quid?
30?

40, huh?

Let it rest, will you?

Huh?

You didn't hear me
complaining when he

was brought in instead of me.

I let it rest.

There was nearly 11,000grand in that little suitcase.

Can you understand that?
- Yeah.

I think I can understand that.

Well, understand
this-- thanks to you,

I'm back on the street again.

So what, Eddie?

You want me to lose
some sleep over it,

just like you lost
sleep when you

were trying to freeze me out?

Freezing me out!

Your best fucking friend
for a fucking tinker!

I did time for you!

No!

You got caught.

You always got caught.

I'm to blame because
you got caught?

Well, now you're
caught again, Eddie.

You have a room full of stuffand no money to pay for it,

so what are you doing to do?

Give it all back?

Tell the man you're sorry?

I mean, I know I done somequeer things in me time

and all, Eddie, but
there's things I didn't

do in there, too, you know?

What do you mean?

Let it rest, will you?

GINGER: How's it going?

RAYMIE: How's it going?

GINGER: Where's the other fella?

RAYMIE: He's out.

What's going on?

Opposition, Ginger.

Tell your dad his
days are numbered.

Yeah?

He must have come in for a bitof money or something, did he?

Yeah.

Yeah.

A bit of a windfall,
Ginger, like, you know?

A bit of a windfall, boy.

You're a smirky,
little bastard.

Anybody ever tell you that?

Yeah.

I've a dirty kind of
a smile, all right.

But you're [inaudible].

Little prick.

RAYMIE: Now who told you that?

What?

No.

I'm only kidding you.

[groaning]

I want to talk to you.

That swiped away the smirkoff your face, didn't it?

Huh?
Didn't it?

I don't see you smiling now,you fucking little prick, you.

Laughed at me.

You laughed at me.

I don't think so.

[gasping]

[music playing]

[gasping]

Jesus!

Eddie!

Eddie!

Are you going to Dublin?

Yeah.

Get in the back.

[grunting]

Don't hurt me!

Don't hurt me!
Look, I'm going!

Sorry!

I'm going!

I'm going!

I'm going!

[police radios buzzing]

Are you out for going
into mourning or what?

How do you mean?

I haven't seen you aroundlike for-- for a few days.

Look, if this is about that--well, that little shit bag,

I wouldn't worry about
it, if I were you.

Sure, he was trying to pullthe wool over all our eyes.

Did you know that he waswith the McDonaghs the night

they went after Dermot.

And for what?

30 pieces of silver, whichhe probably never even got.

[train pummeling]

Come on, lads! [inaudible].

What is it with you anyway?

I mean, I took you
off the streets

when nobody else would
even look at you.

A fucking little
jailbird, Jesus!

I made money for you, mate.

Like a lot money.

You cost me a lot of money,too, I don't mind telling you.

11,000.

Does that ring a bell-- 11,000?

Don't know nothing about that.

That's not what I heard.

And in the mean time, you'redriving around in my van.

Jesus, I must be going soft inthat bloody head or something!

You want the van back?

Here.

Take it!

Stick it!

[laughing]

Jesus!

You know, we used
to laugh at you.

You made our lives worth living.

What?

And you think no one'slaughing at you or something?

What did you say?

Hm?

What did you say?

If I find out that you're mixedup in this, I swear to Jesus,

I'll swing for you.

Come back here, you
little [inaudible].

I'm not finished with yet.

You've got no right,
turning your back

and walking away
from me like that!

Because without me, you
haven't got a chance!

You haven't got a hope in hell!

You see, I know who
I am, and what I am,

and how much I'm worth!

But you-- you
haven't got a clue.

Not an idea!

None, whatsoever.

Sure, you'll come crawlingback on your belly, boy.

You just wait and see!

Trojan Eddie!

Trojan fucking idiot!

Pencils!

50 pence a dozen.

I mean, you know what they say--you can ride a horse to waiter,

but a pencil must be led.

50 pence and I'll
throw in an old rubber!

Yes!

One, two, three.

There you go, lads.

Before they change their minds.

Now, candles!

A box of 20 for a pound.

I have it on good
authority there's

going to be of cause for itthis winter, so don't be stuck!

And if you're one that lightsthe odd candle in the chapel

every morning, then thinkof the money you'll save!

One, two, three, four, five!

Lock the doors!

They're coming in the windows!

[rain pouring]

Are [inaudible]
waterproof, daddy?

I never said they
were waterproof.

Waterproof for a pound?

Give me a break.

There's someone
here to see you, boss.

What's that?

Oh, yeah.

Right.

Thanks.

You'll pull over that olddoor after you, won't you?

Yeah.

Thanks, Arthur.

[music playing]

Hi, Eddie.

Come in.

Like it's just
that me husband has

someone coming to look at theplace tomorrow night, you know?

So I thought you might like tohave his few bits and pieces.

Thanks.

Right.

Well, sure, I'll
leave it to you it so.

Sure, poor Raymie.

He wasn't of them
at all, you know?

Give us a shout on your way out.

[bird chirping]

[bird chirping]

[music playing]

[laughing]

[music playing]

What you want, I got it.

And if you can get
cheaper anywhere else,

then I want to know about it.

Trojan Eddie's the man,bargain-zinni's the game.

A Walkman?
I got it.

A razor?

I got it.
A guitar?

I got it.

A flask?

I got it.

A keyboard?

I had one yesterday.

So listen, we'll
be going out of it!

Get down here now!

Trojan Eddie's of
William Street.

Now!

ANNOUNCER 1: A sitar--
an ancient art of India.

Another is the food of India.

ANNOUNCER 2: Enjoy yourselves.

Capture the
atmosphere, the color,

and the magic of the
east with the finest

Indian food at this restaurant.

[music playing]

What are you
doing sitting there?

I said now!

[music playing]

[music - "a tinker's lullaby"]