Trois fois rien (2022) - full transcript

Yeah?

20 minutes.
Sorry, people are waiting.

20 minutes.

Sir, please.

No dogs allowed.

What?

Leave it outside.

He won't shower with me.

Please, gimme a break.

I've been on the road.

- Come on.
- Sorry, no.



Why not? Why not?

- The rules.
- Why not?

Young man, sorry to disturb you.

Would you have some spare change
or a spare smoke?

It's freezing out.

Thanks, very kind.

I like young people.
They're generous.

For a survey...

Can you help an old kid starting out

with some change or a meal ticket?

Shit, zilch.

Go on, I'll wait.

Later, there's a line-up.

Either now, or we split.
It's a shitshow.



Sorry!

Will you watch him?

They won't let him in.

He doesn't bite.

No!

We're leaving.

I'll mind your mutt.

Give him here.

Thanks, dude.

- Welcome.
- I'll hurry.

It's alright, I'm here.

Quiet. Shush!

It's fine, go do your thing.

I'll stay a bit.

Maybe I'll be able to take my shower.

Fine, I'll get supper.

Sounds good.

It's Wednesday?

Lottery day!

- Later.
- See you.

Quiet now. Shush.

Excuse me,

could you spare...

THREE TIMES NOTHING

Thanks, Bachir.

Enjoy.

- See you next week.
- Bye.

No, doggie! Shoo!

That's my sandwich!

Go away! Beat it!

Smart pooch. He found you.

Come, boy!

Get off!

You good?

We have brews. Arrow's treat.

- Arrow?
- Yeah.

You're Twiggy?

- Yeah.
- Hey, dude!

No, I just washed my hands.

Please pull him off.

Get off the fat guy.

Binoculars!

Can I try 'em?

No, hands off!

- Want a beer?
- No, I'm eating.

Eat, it's still warm.
I got you fries.

- Sorry...
- Wow!

Arrow?

You can scope peeps.

- A beer?
- Nah, I'm allergic.

C'mon!

My teeth gnash, my head spins,

I talk shit and then puke.

Tough, man.

Same with weed. Doesn't agree with me.

Not the end of the world.

- May I?
- No!

OK, you know what?

Here, take them.

Sit over there with your mutt.

OK, thanks.

Well?

What?

Arrow?

He just arrived in Paris,
he has nowhere to go.

I invited him.
Besides, he bought us beer.

I agree, he's a bit dim,
but he's harmless.

You mean, the dog?

So, where do we go tonight?

- Papua.
- What?

Papua. I really need sun.

Papua, with a P.

Papua's been on my mind.

Arrow? Oh.

Where would you go?

It's a game?

He can't play!

- Sure I can.
- No way.

I bought the lotto ticket.

The ticket? You said the beer!

Also.

I was two euros short,
so I let him mark the squares.

He had fun, so what?

You let him fill in the squares, too?

No worries, I gave him the numbers.
He had fun.

Where'd me go if I won?

Take French lessons, maybe?

What? What'd you say?

With your loser accent?

Could we just play?

So, Arrow, if you won,
where would you go?

Fuck, it started!

45.

- Did we pick it?
- No!

Name a place you'd like to go.

- Your dream destination.
- I dunno...

The moon.

My dream's to go to the moon
and draw a huge dick on it.

So everyone who looks up seen it!

Sees it!

Not the moon,
it has to be attainable.

7! We picked that!

C'mon, it'll be over before we started.
Name your dream destination.

How do I know, Christ?

Disneyland! There.

Disneyland?

- Arrow!
- What?

It's on earth.

Sure, perfect. What a great trip!

Fuck, I missed one. 29!

- Our number?
- Yeah.

And... 36! Cap, we have it.
That's three!

Three's worth at least 20 euros.

If we get the joker, it's a grand.

Here, gimme.

Where is it?

So the joker is... number 10.

Do we have it?

I can't hear you, someone's screaming.

Hold on a sec.

It's getting worse.

Of course, it's those bums.

The park's invaded.

Yes, it's very sad.

But what can you do?
But it's not my fault!

Cap, you sleeping?

Yeah.

Me neither.

1000 bones!

Maybe more.

I can't believe it.

Me neither.

Me either.

You not only sponge,
you eavesdrop at the door?

The door's the wall of a tent.

No, but...

It's the principle, man.

OK? The principle!

Anyway,

thanks for your help, Arrow.

Don't worry, we'll pay back the 2 euros.

G'night!

Hold on. My 2 euros?

You helped us out, we pay you back.

It's normal.
We're not crooks.

You scamming me?

Captain?

He scamming me?

I don't think so.

Twiggy?

You scamming him?

No way, why?

Oh, you were really playing!

He was playing for real!

I didn't understand.

Fine with me.
It's up to you.

If you're OK with skimming
what we'd have won anyway,

It's fine with me.

It's your conscience.

OK, I'm good.

My conscience is down.

OK.

Great!

Let's not get carried away.

We haven't won yet.

It could just be a piece of paper.

- OK?
- OK, pal!

I'm not your pal!

Asshole!

Asshole!

Asshole! Get back here!

Good doogie!

That's my boy!

Asshole?

Good Asshole!

I've been thinking.

If we really did win,

we'll say we lost.

“We had the wrong draw.

But I love your dog. Come back next Wednesday
and we'll play again.”

Hold on.

You have the ticket, right?

No, he has it.

Of course.

He does.

Do it however you want,

get the ticket when I distract him.

Wait. Are you serious?

We can't do that.

It's not fair.

It's 1000 euros!

And they're our numbers!

We play those numbers every week.

We always lose.
He shows up and we win.

He's a lucky charm.

A lucky charm?

Exactly.

OK.

But he takes his money and scrams.

- Yeah.
- He doesn't stick around.

- We're no shelter.
- No.

No, that's right.
Four numbers and the joker.

That's the jackpot.

Wait. Maybe.

Could you re-recheck, again please?

Yi?

Take your time.

What'd they say?

Four numbers.

17, 29, 36 and 45.

The joker is 10.

See, that's impossible.
We don't play 45.

We know our numbers. 9, 17, 29, 36, 54.

Captain, do we play 45?

- Nope.
- We don't play 45.

Maybe it was a mistake,

but that's what's on the ticket.

Arrow, show me the ticket, please.

I hid it good. I pegged you
as the type who'd swipe it.

No!

Check it yourself, please.

It's like you said.

9, 17, 29, 36, 54...

No, I marked the 45.

My bad.

What?

- What?
- You idiot!

Back off, fatso! It was a mistake!

First time I played.

Lemme explain.

We won thanks to you.

We won!

Yi, how much, please?

I can't tell you.

I pay out small prizes.

Ask at the lotto office.

But with four numbers and the joker,
it's 1 million.

Maybe 2!

One million?

Maybe 2?

Maybe.

So, Yi...

Could you front us some cash for the subway?

Alright. How much?

Well...

I dunno.

12 bottles! A round for everyone!

Ladies and gentlemen, good day!

Hello!

My friends and I,

will pass through the wagon
to give you each some change

or even a smoke if you're interested.

- Who won a million?
- Maybe 2!

Hurray!

Millionaire! Millionaire!

Hello, do you want cigarette?

We won a million!
We won a million!

224,684 euros.

Congratulations!

Could you check again?

Mr Yi said told us we won a million euros.

Maybe 2!

Maybe!

No, I'm...

That's right.

It's divided among the winners.

There are 15 tickets with your numbers.

Which makes 224,684 euros.

A tidy sum, no?

Yeah.

Yeah!

224 thou!

That's alright.

Bravo! Let's finalize things...

Yes!

I have the ticket.

I need the winners' bank details and IDs.

Bank accounts?

An ID card?

The winners?

Or I can give you a check,
but I need your ID.

You don't have ID?

Yeah, I do!

No?

You, no?

No.

Well...

Not on us, anyway.

Or anywhere.

Right.

No worries, I have mine.

But can you divide it into three payments?

- We're not together.
- To avoid bad vibes.

I can only make you a check if you have ID.

You understand?

No, I can't...

write a check without proof that you're you.

But you have proof it's them.
They're standing in front of you.

Is she slow?

Make it out to him.

Great.

Be right back.

Stay there. I'll be back.

Good.

So...

Is it sinking in?

Yeah. For sure...

No. Actually, not at all.

That's perfectly normal.

We advise winners

not to alter their daily routines.

At first, I mean.

My card.

If you have any questions, just call.

The pamphlet's very helpful.

It's for big winners.

But there are tips
you might find helpful...

Nasty apple.

It's polystyrene.

Yeah?

Still, it's nasty.

Alright...

Here's your check.

The pièce de résistance!

So then...
you are Mr Francis Courtass?

Courta... The ending is silent.

Francis Courtass?

Courta. It's silent.

Courta!

Piss off. Not funny.

Francis is bad enough!

It's short for Francisco.

It's Spanish!

Stop!

Sorry. Forgive me.

It's the emotion.

Where do we go with 220,000 euros?

It's unreal.

We go to the bank.

Courtass?

- Courta!
- Ta! Ta! Sorry!

Where's your bank?

Do I look like I have a bank?
This is for banks!

Wait, I had a bank book
back home.

I'm from Angers. But when I was five,
they sent me to Mulhouse and...

Zip it!

On the street,
it's like in an American crime show...

- Anything you say...
- May be used against you!

You don't know my bank.
And I have the check.

Good luck!

No worries, we'll find a bank.

Who'd refuse a 220,000 euro check?

From now on, we don't let him
out of our sight.

He doesn't pee alone till we get our cut.

- I heard that.
- I know. Now you know.

Nice dude!

Remember,
you won 70,000 thanks to me.

Thanks, Francis.

Welcome, pal.

I'm not your pal.

I'm afraid it's complicated.

The bank has two requirements.

First, you need ID,
which I have for him.

The second is proof of address.

Yes, but...

That's how it is. It's the law.

It's absurd.

You realize...

Yes, I do realize.

Absurd, but it's the law.

Let's try another bank.

It'll be the same.

Oh yeah? Wanna bet?

Asshole, hurry up!

Maybe online banks are less strict.

It's unlikely.

But if I've understood
your situation correctly,

Mr Courtass won't be able
to give you 70,000 euros in cash.

You need a bank account,
and thus proof of address

and an ID card, of course.

Here's your check.

Asshole!

There's a procedure to renting.

You need to create a file,
the landlord has to consent.

Even with a great credit rating,

applications may be refused.

Alright, fine.

If we can't rent,

we can buy. Right?

What's 220,000 get us?

With a pool.

I don't have one with a pool.

We're not that picky.

We'll take a garage.

We don't rent garages. Sorry.

Bitch!

Excuse me?

So, to replace your papers,

it's quick and easy.

You just need a declaration of loss or theft.

You come back with two official photographs

three-months' proof of residency
and a birth certificate.

So, for your birth certificate,

it's quick and easy.

Hyphen!

No need to request it
in your place of birth.

For foreign citizens,

it's...

Quick and easy?

Horribly complicated.

Next!

Young man, sorry to bother you.

Would you have some change?

You won't believe it.

See, my friends and I won the lottery.

But we can't cash the check.

- Here.
- Thanks!

I'm not sure I understand.

You want me to give you 220,000 euros
in cash for your check?

If you like, you can even take
a small commission. We're not...

You'll have to leave.

Can we use the bathroom?

Look, what I think is...

Your 220,000 euros...

- You can...
- Shove them.

It's quick and easy.

Could you shut up for a minute?
I can't think, Courtass.

Courta! Courta!

Next time, I'll slug you, fatso!

Slug me? I'd love to see that!

Enough. It's over!

Zip it!

You little runt!

It was fun while it lasted.
But enough's enough.

Let's get back to reality.

Wait, what's over?

Everything.

The banks, rental agencies,
the cavalry, the lottery...

We stop. At first, yes, it was fun.

But I'm throwing in my cap.

Come on, Captain!

You're not serious.

You're just tired.

Me too.

We're all tired.

I'm not tired.

I'm too old to tramp
from office to office

to see people
who can't help us. “Next!”

We'll find a solution.
There's gotta be one!

There's no solution for our kind.

How often have you tried
to get off the street?

And how often did you fail?

So let me tell you both something.

Your ticket, your check you can't cash...

You can keep it, alright?

You can even split my share.

Lord!

- Stop.
- I've had it.

- Captain, please!
- Screw it!

Right, Captain, please!

Come on, Captain!

It's fine.

So, we go 50-50?

Shut up, Courtass!

Ninja!

Help! I can't swim!

It's your fault,
you pushed me!

Hold on.

I can stand.

Yeah, sure.

Go ahead and laugh.

Real funny.

The water's up to his crotch!

Shit, the check!

Get out of there!

I have the check!

Who's laughing now?

Me!

Sugar?

Thanks.

I didn't realize.

I'm so sorry,

I never thought...

I don't know what to say.

It's all the fault off Twiggy.

It's the fault of Twiggy.

See, Cap agrees.
If you haven't shoved me...

Hadn't shoved me!

So what?

Really!

The check's not a problem.

I can replace it, it's no problem.

But I was thinking, Mr Courtass...

Perhaps your parents could declare
you live with them.

You could open a bank account,
the same day.

- Francis?
- Yes.

We gotta cash the check.

OK, but without them.

It's a chance to reconnect.

I've seen Lotto's magic work wonders.

Thanks to Lotto, some people...

My parents are dead. So reconnecting...

It'd take a lotta Lotto magic.

I see. I'm very sorry.

Nah, I never knew them.

Well, four months. Car accident. Dead!

My gran raised me.

But she's dead too.

I was one, I don't remember her.

Is anyone still alive in your family,
aside from you?

Nope.

- Bye.
- Bye, thanks.

I'm on the case.

The kid's a poet.

A poet
who doesn't know it.

I swear, he's a genius.

Look at him.

“Life isn't waiting for storms to pass.

It's learning to dance in the rain.”

Would we go dancing in the rain?

Not in my undies!

It's a friendly building,

with nearby shopping,

the metro...

There are two bedrooms,
and a sofa bed in here.

- Western exposure...
- Kinda sketchy.

You said the owner won bigtime.

His late mom lived here.
He's still attached to the place.

He didn't need to sell.

If I may,

how much did the guy win?

16 million.

Yeah, that's decent too.

Know a winner

who bought his mom a villa with a pool
just before she died?

Sorry, I don't.

- Magnificent!
- You like it?

Way better than
what we imagined, right?

No, in fact I was saying...

I can't thank you enough.

Thank Mr Dumesnil, your landlord.

I'm just the go-between.

I'd ask only you respect
the building and neighbors.

No problem, we'll be super careful.

My bad.

It's temporary, right?

Soon as we get our papers

and divvy up the money,

- we're gone!
- OK.

So, then...

Here are the lease in Mr Courtass's name
and Mr Dumesnil's attestation.

Take them to the bank
and you can open an account.

Here are the keys. You're home.

We're home!

You're taking all that?

Yeah, I need it.

- Is that all for you?
- Yeah.

The essentials. It's all here.

It's not easy.

I built it all myself.

C'mon, Crapper.
It's just wood and plastic.

Captain?

We're done here.

It's your chance.

Grab it.

Look after him, OK?

Promise.

Don't you cry.
It's hard enough for him.

I won't.

Drop that.

C'mere!

So Vénus is his babe?

No, she's the girl of his dreams!

Really? I thought she was a hooker.

She is a hooker.

Does Cap know?

It's obvious, no?

Cool dude. I couldn't take that.

He doesn't care, he's in the band.

He plays the flute.

He plays the flute.

I get it.

Enough, get going. Clear out!

Enough of you bums!

You can't take all that.
Leave some here.

- Alright.
- C'mon.

You first.

Go on.

Don't worry, I won't miss you.

Good riddance!

We said no crying, Vénus.

I'm not.

They're tears of joy.

You'll be happy here, Captain.

What is it?

Do you hear?

No.

What?

Nothing.

You hear nothing.

Stop, Asshole. Sit!

Francis!

- What's going on?
- Shh!

We're enjoying silence.

Asshole, no!

What's wrong?

Why are you there?

No idea.

I can't remember.

I think I have a clue.

No, Asshole!

Francis!

What's wrong!

Go back to your room, man.

Hold on.

You call me to say
to go to my room?

I know you're dumb, but...

We're gonna have to get
a few things straight.

You probably don't know
about apartment living,

and your mutt either. But...

You can't walk around naked!

Cool it!

If I sleep nakie, it's my business.

In garages or malls, OK,
but this is my crib.

No, it's not your crib, it's our crib.

Damn, I looked.

I have no problem with you sleeping nakie.

Or doing your thing... to the max!

But when you leave your room,
put on some undies.

Undies?

Undies.

Boxers, Francis!

Ok. Undies. “Boxers, Francis!”

OK, got it.

Sorry.

Thank you.

Christ, put on some undies!

Gentlemen,

a gift!

Shit!

Thanks, awesome!

Just what I needed.

Calm down, it was your dough.

They're not supersonic, but we have 4G.

What's it for?

To call people.

Dude, you been living in a cave?

Captain, it's on the Internet now.

We can keep an eye on each other.

Know where we are, what we're up to,
when we're coming home.

Like normal people.

Like normal people, got it.

For the flat,

we should divvy up the chores.

Arrow...

Arrow!

- Sorry.
- We each do our part.

If Cap takes out the trash,

someone else cooks
and the other cleans up.

Who?

Who what?

Who cooks?

You said Cap takes the trash.

So who cooks, you or me?

Cuz I haven't cooked since...

social services.

Like the four-quarters cake...

I know it's ¼, ¼, ¼...

but ¼ of what?

You're missing one.

That's three, a three-thirds cake.

Four-fourths, not three-thirds.

That's my point.

Hey, guys?

Enough with the fractions.

However long we're here,

I want cooperation.

We're not stupid.

No need for a masterclass in coop living.

C'mon.

We've survived so far, we'll manage.

I wasn't talking to you.

Arrow,

this here's the cash box.

You put money in it.

Regularly.
Don't screw up.

And... Oh yeah!

I'll make us a budget.

Until we split the prize,

we buy the strict minimum,
and we keep records.

- CDs?
- Of expenses!

Jesus H Christ to goddamn holy hell!

Want a coffee, Twiggy, or...

Are you OK?

Why are you tailing me?
What's your problem?

- I'm gonna pay for this.
- That, too.

Don't I pay at the cash?
This isn't the cash!

I'll pay for your shit!

No, you calm down.

Arrow, it's OK.

I'm watching you.

We'll pay, sir.

I'm loaded.

Really, Francis!

Sure you need this?

Yeah.

There's no bulb in my room.
And I love raclette.

Look, it makes pancakes, too.

It's reversible.

- Smart, huh?
- Captain!

- Yeah?
- Say something, please!

Well, if it makes him happy...

I mean, we owe him.

Live it up.

I am living it up.

I'm living it up sick.

Yeah?

20 minutes. Time's up.

Leave us some hot water, too!

Almost done.

What's taking you?

Tough, I'm coming in.

What's that mug?

Hey, Captain?

Check this out, it's sick.

Thank you for calling the Canadian Embassy.

We will answer your call
as quickly as possible.

You can return
to the main menu any time.

To return to the main menu,
say “Main menu.”

If you wish to wait,

- say, “Wait.”
- Wait.

I did not understand.

Please start over.

Wait.

Main menu.

For service in French, 1.

I did not understand.

Please start over.

Thank you for calling the Canadian Embassy.

We will answer your call
as quickly as possible.

Wait.

If you wish to wait, say “Wait.”

Wait.

To return to the main menu...

Wait!

Given the high volume of calls,
we are unable to answer.

Fuck!

Careful.

I can't pay her.

- Sleep with her.
- She's 75!

So?

Presents.

Really?

Thanks.

- Can we?
- Go for it.

A branch?

No! It's a twig! Like your nick!

But this one is dipped in bronze.

Guy said it won't rot.

Must've cost a mint.

For real.
It's a gift. On me.

I'm happy to make you happy.

If mine's a bronze cap,
they really screwed up.

Here goes, let's see.

A flute!

Like it?

Sure. Thanks, Arrow.

A lovely surprise.

Well, play.

- I can't.
- Course you can!

- Twiggy said so.
- Did not!

I didn't know you play.

I don't.

He said you were in a band or something.

I said you play the flute.

Arrow!

Françis, it's an expression.

Like if I said,

he's on the other team.

Speak French, I never understand you.

Francis, it's an expression
for men who like men.

What do you kids say?

A fag?

You're a fag?

I'm shook.

I'm shook.

Hello.

Hello.

Twiky, Kapten, Aro, Ashole
6th floor

Dijon's not too big,
population 150,000, it's very pleasant.

- Good night.
- Good night.

If they're yelling at 10 again,
I'll call the cops.

Tell them!

Hello!

You look fantastic!

We're swank.

Wankers, you mean?

Come in, come in!

Why, Twiggy!

This is Nicolas Grenier.

Nicolas Grenier? Seriously?

So, Nick?

What am I getting for Christmas?

No?

This is Mr Dumesnil,

your kind landlord,

- Francis...
- Yo.

- Nicolas.
- Hello.

- And Captain.
- A pleasure.

Hello.

May I introduce Thérèse and Yi,
our friends, and...

Vénus, the woman of my dreams.

A pleasure.

Great.

- Put this on ice.
- Very kind!

Sorry, forgive me. Welcome to your home!

Come in, come in.

Just as we're leaving,
Captain turns and asks,

“Can we use the bathroom?”

Shit!

Wait, I'll show you. Thérèse...

How's it working out?

It's good.

Ups and downs, but we'll manage.

I'm sure.

Good vibes here.

Mom and I had great times here.

A change from the plonk.

Thanks.

Captain!

What?

It's OK, jeez.

As long as you eat something.

I'll have lots of cheese
and I'll be fine.

Tell me.

How will you invest your money?

Be careful, because the first year

is tax free, but then you get fleeced.

- You need to plan.
- I said that.

We already know what we'll do.

We said we'll tour the globe!

Did we say that?

I can't take Asshole.
He has no license.

Twiggy and I always said,

if we win, we tour the globe, him and me.

Yeah, but we were shooting the shit.

It was just a dream.

It's a wonderful plan.

Sorry, may I ask a question?

Sure, Thérèse. Feel free.

Well, how did you become homeless?

Forgive me. I'm sorry.

No worries, Thérèse.

Captain won't say,
like on crime shows.

But I don't mind.

It's simple.

When I was 13, I ran away
from my sketchy foster home.

Of course the cops picked me up,

put me in another home,
but I'd tasted freedom.

The rush of running away,
sleeping on the street...

Mega rush.

I was hooked.

I ran away. I ran away. I ran away.

Even when things were good.

Like, in Caen,
I was with this sick family,

real nice, but I still ran away.

To see how the cops reacted.

Then, one time, those clowns

didn't look for me.

I figured, they were sick of me

or they're too busy.

Totally wrong.

I'd turned 18.

You, Twiggy?

Separation.

Heartbreak.

Depression.

Getting fired.

No friends.

All very fast.

Then I met this tall weirdo
in a baseball cap,

smoking away, who goes, “Hey, Twiggy?

Why so sad?”

He didn't ask who I was
or where I was from.

He showed me the ropes,
gave me tips, a roof.

Well, a tent. But same thing.

He gave me shelter,

time to recover.

It's been seven years.

I owe him a lot.

Not everything,
‘cause I didn't have much, but...

Do I tell you about my first trick
or do we have dessert?

Dessert!

Dessert!

Although...

Why not both?

First, dessert, and then...

Cool. What I was looking for.

Great evening.

- Want to come?
- I'll clean up.

- Can I help you?
- No, I've got it.

You have kids in France.

How do you know?

Even Captain doesn't know.

Otherwise you'd want
to tour the globe.

Or go home to Québec...

I imagine.

Do you see them often?

I mean, still. Do you still see them?

Yes, I see them,

as often as I can.

Lucie plays soccer.
She just started boxing.

She repeated grade 3.

My little Zélie's in grade 11. No, 10.

She's taking dance classes.

Loves it...

They must be thrilled for you.

Yeah.

No.

They don't know.

About the lottery. Or...

the street.

You said you see them often.

I see them, but they don't see me.

For them,

I disappeared seven years ago.

But aren't you scared they...

- may think you're...
- Dead?

Dead.

Better a father who's dead
than one who's homeless.

But the situation has changed now.

You're no longer on the street.

You can see them again.

I'd love to see them, but...

I don't want them to see me as a bum.
Even a bum who won the lottery.

And first I'd like to drop
at least 40 pounds.

No other homeless person
ever gains weight.

When I see them, I want to...

be their MVP.

A star.

I want to have my own place,
a real job and...

and a normal life.

Enough. Shall we join the others?

To replace your Canadian passport

requires proof you're Canadian.

Even with this accent?

Sorry.

Excuse me.

Apply at the town hall
in your birthplace.

It's unbelievable.

I'm a Canadian in France, and neither
country can help me! What do I do?

Sorry.

Go ahead.

I'm very sorry.

Yeah, what is it?

Yeah, I left early. So?

What are you doing?

Deal with it. You're big boys!

Francis, stop bothering me
or I'll confiscate your phone!

Sorry!

How many?

How many what?

Kids.

Two, why?

Were they born in France?

Oh! No...

Yeah. No, that wasn't my kids.

I have two kids,

but that wasn't... Wait.

Yeah, they're born here. Why?

Make a case for family unification.

Are you married?

Their mom and I are on the outs.

I'll need proof.

Their birth certificates?

That would help things.

What's your cell?

Dialing...

Hello?

Hello?

Anybody there?

Hello?

Who is it, sweetie?

There's nobody.

Guys! Guys!

Guys! This is Twiggy.

No, sorry. It's Nicolas Grenier!

Come try this. It's a blast!

Hey, whatsup?

Yo.

What's that?

It's for walking Asshole.

A big dog needs exercise.

Try it, you want to lose weight.

C'mon, this is ridiculous.

Captain!

I told him it was a bad idea.
Takes up too much space.

Excuse me, gents. Ladies...
You're on my bed.

I had a long day, I'm beat.

I forgot to warn you he's the biggest loser
on earth - and the moon!

Francis?

Don't try to act smart.

Excuse me, please.

Want a beer?

No, I'm good. Thanks.

OK, enough's enough, dammit!

Everybody out. The bar's closed.

Don't talk to my pals that way!

They're not your pals!

I'm warning you, punk.

Tomorrow you take this back to the store.

You can say it doesn't fit
my living room.

Maybe it'll fit up your ass.

What do you want?

You sit down!

Let's beat it.

Right!

Thank you!

See you.

It was fun. No worries, it's nothing.

- See you, sweetie.
- Cheers, Captain.

When you get to know them,
they're good kids.

Who do you think you are?

My old man, maybe?

You're not my father.

Thank God.

Asshole!

Watch your mouth!

I'm calling the dog.

Asshole, come with me!

“The shipwreck of youth.”

About the bathroom...

You'll see.

Captain.

Ciao, Lettuce!

He's funny. He has a head of lettuce.

You can't tell if it's iceberg or...

whatever.

Why'd you let him?

What?

I asked you to keep an eye on him.

He's a shopaholic.
He attracts trouble.

Hi, I have your sushi.

180 euros?

180 euros!

He never stops.

He never had Japanese food,

or an address, so he ordered in.

Stop defending him.

You're always on his case.

He's an adult.

Let him have fun...
As long as he keeps the receipts.

- It's not just that. You know!
- You're not his mom.

I'm not his mom, or not his dad?

Really, I'd like to know.

We don't want it. Sorry.

Change of plans.

Anyway, he already paid online.

Not without papers!

Captain? I'm home.

No work. No news from the embassy.

But bills galore!

Captain, did you take the 50 euros?

Obviously the window's open,
‘cause we pay for heating.

- Jeez, shit!
- I'm sorry!

What are you doing on the floor?

Still sleeping on the ground?

Don't touch me!

You haven't showered?

Didn't have time.

No time? I bet.

- What did you do today?
- Bought smokes.

Of course.

Could you pass me one?

- Sure you're OK?
- Yeah!

Great.

Y'know, if we want a normal life,
we have to live normally.

Sure thing, you're right.

Good!

- That hurts!
- Yeah, but...

I can't see you under all the crap.

Hi, this is Francis, aka Arrow.

Leave me a message after the beeeee...

It's me again.

I don't know where you are.

Give us a ring, OK?

I think Captain's starting to miss you.

Hold on, I think you're calling.

Where the hell are you?

Nadia?

Sorry, I thought it was Francis.

I knew he'd wind up shafting us.
I knew it!

It's impossible.

He'll come back, I'm sure.

How's Captain doing?

Well, he drinks, smokes, stinks...

The usual.

I hadn't realized I'd have to babysit
as well as pay rent.

It's fine.

I'll pay.

- Thanks.
- My pleasure.

Thank you.

Waiter wanted

Sorry?

You interested?

Well, yes, but...

I don't have all my papers.

You Québecers break me up everytime.

Come by tomorrow.
We'll see how things go.

Alright?

I've found a job!

All by myself!

Bravo.

Must be the kid.

No, it's a buyer for the treadmill.

I sold it online.

Along with all the other crap.

- I don't like this, it's wrong.
- No!

He's in the wrong.

Anyway, we've no choice.

We have to manage, and we will.

On our own, like adults.
It's the end of the tunnel, Captain!

I can see the light!

Yes, hello?

6th floor, on the left.

Last one on your tab.

I mean, until Arrow shows up.

He hasn't paid his bill and...

I'm sorry.

No worries, I understand.

Sorry!

Excuse me.

Would you have a meal ticket,
some change, a cig...

friendship, a smile, blue eyes,

pretty teeth...

Hello, this isn't a survey...

but to cadge small change, that's all.

So, a Coke and tartar sauce. Enjoy!

Here's your Samurai, miss.

With curry sauce. 9.50, please.

A curry and mayo combo, please.

Yes, Memet!

- With pleasure, here!
- Who ordered the harissa?

Careful, it's hot!

Please, not at work, Nico!

It might be the embassy, I have to.

- He's new.
- Two minutes! Hello?

That's my family name. I'm Nicolas Grenier.

Sorry!

C'mon, Nico. Let's go.

The drinks are there.

OK, I'll try to manage.

Nico, you can't leave now.

If you leave, don't come back.

Two minutes.

- Look at the lineup.
- 90 seconds!

What did you want?

One BBQ!

Pick up! Pick up!

What, do I talk now?

So, hello. I dunno...

Curry sauce, OK!

What? What's wrong?

He went into shock.

He was at Disneyland,
so we thought he might be epileptic.

The scan excluded it being a stroke

from a high-thrill ride.

He'd been staying with friends
at a hotel there.

Wait, a hotel at Disneyland?

Stupid ass!

Sorry.

So what is it, then?

Your friend OD'd.

No, that's impossible.

He's not a user.
That's his normal state.

He's Obélix, he fell in a potion.

We pumped his stomach
and filtered his blood.

His MRI shows abnormally low
cerebral activity.

That's normal for him, too.

It also surprised me at first.
There's not much going on up there.

I don't think you understand.

This is serious.

We don't yet have a final prognosis.

But we can't rule out
physical or neurological damage.

Am I being clear?

Yeah.

Does he have family we can contact?

He has two numbers in his cell,
and one doesn't answer.

No, there's nobody.

Nobody aside from us.

I'll leave you.

About the dog...

You better take him.

The dog?

Do it soon, because after three days they're...

Heel, boy! Heel!

Stop!

Asshole!

Asshole, here boy!

That's my doggie. Here, boy.

C'mere, baby. Good Asshole!

Where's Arrow?

Where were you?

I get it.

It wasn't a great first day.

Yes, give Daddy a kiss.

Great. Thanks!

Relax, it doesn't matter.

Sit down, have a beer.

- You're right.
- Be cool!

It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters for you.

Not answering?

It could be important.

No, too late. Voicemail.

- Do I talk? It's Captain...
- I'll leave a message.

Hi, Cap. It's me.

Just calling to say I've left you
56 messages and 122 SMSs.

that you probably haven't seen.

You must be doing more important things,
like drinking and smoking.

But no matter, because with you,
nothing ever matters.

OK, I get it, Twiggy.

No, ‘cause thanks to you

I lost the only job I found.

And Arrow's in hospital.

He fried the two neurons he had.

OD, a synthetic drug.

The kid's a vegetable.

That's about it.
Call me when you get this message.

Or don't. As you wish. Lots of love.

You piss me off.

You really piss me off!

Know where he's stayed?

Disneyland!

As if he was Michael Jackson.

How'd you buy beer?

Captain?

I did what I had to.

I made a stew for us.

You're proud of it.

Not particularly,

but for days you've bitched
we're out of food.

So don't blame me for doing something.

When will it sink in
that you have to stop?

Respect yourself. Dammit!

Know what I see when I look at you?

A bum!

Know what your problem is?
You've no desire to change.

You're ragging on me about hustling
when the kid's in hospital?

What's wrong with you?
All you care about is money.

You don't care about Arrow and me.

You just want to go back
to your boring little life.

You bet I want to get my money
and get out of here.

What did you think?

We'd spend our lives together?

You were never serious about our trip.

Captain, you're drunk.

I'm beat. I don't feel like talking.

You lied to me since day 1.
Played me for a fool.

I didn't lie to you.
We were fantasizing.

- I gave up everything.
- What?

You had nothing.
You still don't!

You are nothing!

Lemme tell you something.

I like you, Twiggy.

I even like you a lot.

But the guy you're becoming,

this Nicolas Grenier...

He's a real dick.

What now?

You gonna slug me, too?

What are you doing?

Being proactive.

In seven years,
we never fought like this.

We've become ugly.

You especially.

Should've taken your keys.

Hello. I'm here for the raclette set.

Sorry?

The raclette set.

Right. Yes.

Sorry, I forgot you were coming.

- I'll get it.
- Great.

Sorry, I can't find it.

My roommate must've sold it.

Come on!

I have a toaster
with built-in Bluetooth speaker.

Jeez, no.

- Have a good day.
- Sure.

They gave you a nice room.

They said you showed big improvement.

To tell the truth, I'm not impressed.

Anybody home?

Step on me again, I'll sue!

What the hell?

- Here...
- No, don't touch me!

How is he?

He hasn't woken up.

I'm sorry.

I was a jerk.

A big jerk!

And I wasn't honest with you.

I have two kids.

I have a family

that I abandoned.

That's why I don't want to travel.

I saw the lottery as my chance

to reconnect with them.

Why not tell me?

You always say that being on the street
is like in a crime show.

They're kids, not bags of milk!

I was a dick too.

Less than you!

But I was a dick.

We're two dicks.

Three.

You're awake?

No, I'm dreaming, asshole.

Asshole!

Where's Asshole?

He's fine, I tied him up
in the parking lot.

They wouldn't let me bring him inside.

I wanted you to see him.

Against the rules.

OK, let's go.

- Where?
- Where?

Hold on!

You need to rest.

You OK?

- Coming, baby!
- Big improvement?

Don't help me, shit.

Right! Wait, don't move!

- Asshole!
- Pipe down.

Asshole!

Wait.

Asshole, Daddy's coming!

We'll get someone.

You're assholes!

Pipe down!

Daddy's coming!

Asshole!

What do we do?

Open the window!

We're not taking him out the window?

Asshole!

Are you hurt?

I don't feel a thing. Push!

I'm coming!

We're coming!
Stop shouting!

I'm here!

Where's Captain? Where's Captain?

Shit, I dunno!

Captain?

Where's Asshole? I miss him!

It's alright! It's alright!

I wanna see Asshole!

Asshole!

He's here!

Asshole! Daddy's here!

Yes, Asshole.

Pee pee! Pee pee!

You need to pee?

Now, guys. Now!

- We were inside!
- There's a toilet!

Pee pee now!

Go on!

I can't!

C'mon, you can do it!

I can't. It's not coming.

You gotta help.

- You, I'm holding him.
- I can't.

C'mon, it's not your first.

Christ, go for it!

Just a sec!

Jeez, feeling chilly, Francis?

- Up yours!
- I can't find it!

Oh, here it is.

His mini-me.

Feels good, huh?

Stop! Stop!

Ease off, it's not a flute.

It's raining.

It's raining!

C'mon, finish up!

- Hurry up!
- The relief!

A bit more.

I've had it! I've had it!

C'mon, finish up.

That's it, I think.

The last drop.

All done.

Finished?

Shall we?

Why not?

Guys, what's going on?

What is this?

We're dancing!

- Let yourself go...
- Relax...

Just surrender

- Because you know
- It's good for you

I love to dance in the rain!

I'm doing my thing to the max!

You alright?

Visiting time's up.

He needs to rest.

Really!

See you, son.

Sorry I slapped you.

You were right.

I am not your father, Francis.

Too bad, I'd like that.

A dad like you is better than a dead dad.

Yeah.

See you, pal.

Thanks.

Leave the nurses alone!

What are you up to?

I'll go have a drink.

It's thirsty out.

I'm gonna tell my kids I'm alive.

Yeah, good idea.

What'll I say?

“Hi there, it's Daddy.
I won the lottery!”

Trust yourself,
you'll find the words.

I know you, you'll be perfect.

You go, Buzz Lightyear.

Dialing...

Yes?

Anybody there?

It's me.

I won the lottery.

Here are the papers.

Thanks.

Don't come back.

I met someone.

He loves them, we're a family.

They're my girls, too.

They should know their dad.

They know.

They know who he is.

They know they grew up penniless.

That I worked two jobs
to pay off his debts.

That we couldn't afford vacations.

And that thanks to him, Mom had a depression.

Don't worry, they know.

- You can't do that to me.
- No!

- No, you...
- Mommy?

You did that to us.

He's so cute!

Go inside, it's cold.

Can I pet him?

Of course, look.

I love dogs.

He's super friendly.

He's so cute!

He's a pain, but nice.

He's too cute!

- What's his name?
- Asshole.

Asshole.

Hi, Asshole.

He's not mine, he belongs to a friend.

Hello, little Asshole!

You see, he's friendly, huh?

Right?

You're Zélie?

- Yes.
- Go inside, dear.

- No, please!
- Zélie?

- For you!
- Really?

Yup.

Thank you, I love it!

Get inside!

Bye!

Goodbye.

Is Lucie home?

Bring that back.

Yeah.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Have a good evening.

Are you from Québec?

Dad?

Grenier - Captain - Courtass

- Hello.
- Hello.

Dear Twiggy, my old branch...

Day 174.

Here we are in India.

The Taj Mahal is a wonder.
You have to come and see it.

I'm fine.

Well, more or less.

Like they say,
travel broadens old minds.

I wish I was sharing this with you,

but discovering the world
with the kid is a joy.

Even though it can be too much.

Only two hotels
kicked us out so far

and we're still not in jail,
so I guess we're doing fine.

I'm living my dream, dude.

And I'm glad you are too.

Sending you a big hug.

Your old friend Captain.

Stop eating your boogers.

- Hi.
- Hi, girls.

Asshole!

Asshole, get inside!

Subtitles: Robert Gray Kinograph