Trevor (1994) - full transcript

Trevor is your average 70's high schooler in Bible Belt, USA: He listens to records, hangs out with his friends, and goes to the movies. But one day things change: He hits puberty, and everything seems different. He doesn't want to make out with the girls at a party. He starts to pay more attention to the other boys in his class. He starts to realize that people make fun of him for his love of ballet and theatre and Diana Ross. Eventually, Trevor comes to the realization that he's gay. Now, his friends don't want to be seen anywhere around him, his parents ignore him, his priest accuses him of being a pervert, and his best friend Pinky tells him that he's a weak person. With no one offering any support, Trevor decides to kill himself. But help comes in an unexpected form.

(I Diana Ross: Theme from Mahogany
"Do You Know Where You're Going To?")

♪ Do you know where you're going to?

♪ Do you like the things
that life is showing you?

♪ Where are you going to?

♪ Do you know?

♪ Do you get what you're hoping for?

♪ When you look behind you
there's no open doors

♪ What are you hoping for?

♪ Do you know? ♪


(Trevor) Dear Diary,

I'm now, like, totally convinced that Mom
and Dad couldn't care less if I live or die.

Last night I walked into the living room
while they were watching TV,

fell dead to the floor.


No response from them.

I think that television reruns have replaced
their natural spontaneity.

I mean, unless I'm on the 11 O'clock News, I
really don't think they'd care.

And even then they might sleep through it.

Dear Diary,

Today I talked to Walter Stiltman
about masturbation.

He said that I should be careful about
getting my sperm on my hands.

We looked at his sperm under a microscope
and we saw a lot of crazy activity!

Personally, I don't think it will make us deaf.

Anyway, I hope not.

It would be the worst thing in the world
if I couldn't listen to Diana Ross.

She's my absolute fave.

(I Diana Ross: It's My Turn)

(Miming) ♪ I can't cover up my feelings

♪ In the name of love

♪ Or playing safe, for a while that was easy

♪ And if living for myself
is what I'm guilty of

♪ Go on and sentence me

♪ I'll still be free

I have definitely decided to be Diana Ross
for Halloween.

Diana had to endure a lot of prejudice
while she was starting out,

and I will probably have to too.

(Miming) ♪ I hope you'll understand

♪ This time's just for me

♪ Because it's... ♪

Dear Diary,

I've become best friends with Pinky Faraday.

You would think that a guy named Pinky
would be, know, but he's not.

He's the star of the intermediate
baseball team in town and everything.

Being friends with him
means so much to me.

It's the next best thing
to being popular myself.

I think that if someone came to town
with a machine gun or something,

and threatened to kill Pinky,
I'd offer myself instead.

He definitely deserves to live.

Dear Diary,

Everybody cool is making out
at the Quality Courts Motel.

Cathy Quinn invited me.

She said it wouldn't mean anything,
it would be a controlled experiment.

(Girl) Stop that!

But to tell you the truth,
I had no trouble controlling myself.

It's not that she's not attractive,

it's just that I've had other things
on my mind.

(TV) ♪ Fame!

♪ I'm gonna live forever

♪ I'm gonna learn how to fly

r High

♪ I feel it coming together

♪ People will see me and cry ♪

Dear Diary,

I've made up my mind about my future,

and tonight I explained it all to Pinky.

I told him...

Pinky, I've decided that the theatre
is to be my life.


(They laugh)

Pinky is so understanding.
He's encouraging me totally in this pursuit.

(J' Anything Goes)

♪ The world has gone mad today

♪ And good's bad today
and black's white today

♪ And day's night today

♪ And the guys today that win a prize today

♪ Are silly gigolos

♪ And though I'm not a great romancer

♪ I know that you're bound to answer
when I propose

♪ Anything goes ♪

Great. And again.

Dear Diary,

Last night I was totally and truly happy.

Pinky walked me almost all the way home
after play practice.

I told stupid Walter Stiltman
how I felt about Pinky.

He said that I should be careful
because he heard stories

about how boys do it with boys
and that's totally gross.

You could end up a pervert...


I've decided to undergo
voluntary shock treatments.

Hopefully this will cure me of having
dirty dreams about naked men...

and Pinky.

Dear Diary,

Today Mary Zapatelli
and Francine Antonicelli

informed me that the guys were talking
about me behind my back.

They said that! walk like a girl.

I could absolutely kill myself over this.

Naturally I denied it.

I even offered to give them a demonstration.

And when I was finished, I turned around,

and Mary and Francine were looking at me
as though I really had just killed myself.

I've definitely decided not to be Diana Ross
for Halloween.

(Funereal organ music)

Dear Diary,

Today I practised for my funeral.

It has been that kind of a day,

absolutely the worst day of my life ever.

I called Pinky at home last night,
his mother answered,

and she said that Pinky
couldn't speak to me

and that I should try not contacting him
any more.

I sat down and wrote Pinky a long letter
telling him what had happened

because I knew he knew nothing about it.

The next day I gave Pinky the letter.

At lunch he gave me one back.

It said that! was a fairy, a weak person,

and maybe didn't even deserve to live.

OK. I...
I'm not sure,

but I think this means that me and Pinky...

we're not best friends any more.

(I Diana Ross:
Ain't No Mountain High Enough)

♪ Just remember what I told you
the day I set you free

♪ Ain't no mountain high enough
♪ Aha-ah

♪ Ain't no valley low enough
♪ Whoo-ooh

♪ Ain't no river wide enough
♪ A-ha

♪ To keep me from you

♪ Ain't no mountain high enough

♪ Ain't no valley low enough

♪ Ain't no river wide enough
to keep me from you

♪ Ain't no mountain high enough

♪ Nothing can keep me,
keep me from you ♪

To whom this may concern,

I'm now like a prisoner in my own life.

Mom found my diary and read it.

Dad too.

I am now a person with no future,

and a past too horrible to think about.

Pray for me.

(Man) Bye-bye.

Father Joe came by our house today
and took me for a ride to the Dairy Creme.

I should have been suspicious. I mean,
to begin with, we're not that religious.

But it was only after! ordered
my black and white sundae,

and was sitting in the front seat of his car
like a total stooge,

that I realised this whole thing
was a miserable setup

between my parents and Father Joe.

The man's penis becomes blood-engorged.

It's hard.

And the man inserts it
into the vagina of the woman

which is lubricated with
its own natural juices.

I swear it was like gag city.

And just when I thought
I was grossed out to the max,

and humiliated to the point of never wanting
to have sex with a single living person

for the rest of my totally sorry life...


have you ever had desires,

and I'm talking about sexual desires,
for another boy?

Be honest with me.

I can help you if you're honest with me.

Did you ever, for example...

wanna touch another boy like...

and I'm not trying to suggest anything here,
but like Pinky Faraday?

I've decided to start a new life.

I'm going to change.

First, I will dye my hair and eyelashes.

Next! will change my name, my identity.

Then I'll change schools.

And maybe I'll go to Mexico.

And as of now,
I'm definitely changing my religion.

(Man) Trevor.

Dear Diary,

Today in English class
Mr Kienast asked me

to read aloud from my report
on the short story.

I chose for my topic the loss of innocence
as reflected in literature.


"The loss of innocence is brought about

"because of an experience
with no explanation.

"The character must experience this loss,
must be involved in the experience,

"must react with natural spontaneity,

“must be hurt,

“must survive.“.


"The experience must be potent enough
to be remembered

"and must create a subtle change
in the character."

(Bell rings)

Mr Kienast gave me an "A" for my report.

No one knows I copied this all from a book.

Pinky's still ignoring me.

I must be invisible.

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I imagine thatl will lead
an extreme and glamorous life

somewhere in the tropics.

Sometimes I imagine thatl will be famous

and everyone will wanna be photographed
in my presence.

Sometimes I imagine
thatl will die an early death

and everyone will be sorry.


Everybody at school is saying that I'm a gay.

It must be showing.

But I look at myself and I don't see anything
that's different.

No one understands.

My life is now an obvious tragedy.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I don't want you to think I haven't given this
a lot of thought, but I have.

I tried to cure myself,
but nothing worked.

Don't think it's your fault, it just happens.

Please give all my Diana Ross records
and tapes to Christie Manistera,

who happens to love Diana
as much as I do.

And please, if it's possible,
play Endless Love at my funeral.

It's my absolute fave.

And don't cry too much,

it would have been a ski/lion times worse
if I had lived.

Your loving son,


(I Record plays
Diana Ross & Lionel Richie: Endless Love)

♪ My love

♪ There's only you in my life

♪ The only thing that's bright

(Miming) ♪ My first love

♪ You're every breath that I take

♪ You're every step I make


♪ I want to share

♪ All my love

♪ With you

♪ No one else will do

♪ And your eyes
♪ Your eyes, your eyes

♪ They tell me how much you care

♪ Oh, yes

♪ You will always be

♪ My endless love ♪

The people at the hospital said that

a person can definitely not commit suicide
by taking too many aspirin,

but they pretty much guaranteed me that

I wouldn't have a headache for, like,
another year.

I think they were kidding.

Anyway, I met this nurse at the hospital.

His name is Jack and he's like super-nice.

Actually, Jack is a candy-striper,
which is almost like a nurse, only younger.

Jack said that when people commit suicide,

they just have to come back
and live their whole life all over again.

And the thought of growing up
with my parents again

made me totally depressed.

Jack said I wouldn't necessarily come back
into the same family and all,

but I said
knowing my luck, I would.

Jack said that from now on I have to start
living my life one day at a time.

And then, like in the next breath,

he asked me what! was doing tomorrow.

Don't you want to come inside now?

In a minute, Ma.


And just when I thought
Jack was going to invite me

to some totally deadbeat support group
for gay suicidal teenagers,

he pulls out these two tickets
to a Diana Ross concert.


OK. So I don't know if it's the tickets,
or if it's Jack,

but I've definitely decided to live...

through tomorrow.

(I Diana Ross: I'm Coming Out)

♪ I'm coming

♪ I'm...

♪ Coming...

♪ Out

♪ I'm coming out

♪ I want the world to know

♪ Gotta let it show

♪ I'm coming out

♪ I want the world to know

♪ Got to let it show

♪ There's a new me coming out

♪ And I just had to live

♪ And I wanna give

♪ I'm completely positive

♪ I think this time around

♪ I am gonna do it like you never knew it

♪ Oh, I'll make it through

♪ The time has come for me
to break out of the shell

♪ I have to shout
that I am coming out

♪ I'm coming out

♪ I want the world to know

♪ I gotta let it show

♪ I'm coming

♪ I'm coming out

♪ Coming out
♪ I want the world to know

♪ Got to let it show

♪ I've got to show the world

♪ All that I wanna be

♪ And all my abilities

♪ There's so much more to me

♪ Somehow I'll have to make them

♪ Just understand

♪ I got it well in hand

♪ And, oh, how I've planned

♪ I'm spreading love

♪ There is no need to fear

♪ And I just feel so good every time I hear

♪ I'm coming out

♪ Coming out
♪ I want the world to know

♪ Got to let it show

♪ I'm coming out

♪ I want the world to know

♪ Got to let it show

♪ I'm coming out

♪ I want the world to know

♪ Got to let it show

♪ I'm coming out

♪ I'm coming out
♪ I want the world to know ♪