Tre donne - L'automobile (1971) - full transcript

“THREE WOMEN"

“THE AUTOMOBILE"

- Want to dance?
- Sure.

- Hi, guys.
- Good evening, Countess.

Allow me.

- Thank you.
- Don't mention it.

- Would you like to dance?
- Thanks, but I don't dance.

Can I get you
another glass of champagne?

- Ottavio?
- Yes, Countess?

- I'm going, put it on my tab.
- Yes, Countess.

- This is for you.
- Thank you.



Goodbye, Countess.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- Bye, guys.
- Goodbye, Countess.

At The Bottom Of A Glass!

- Hi, Bombolo.
- Good evening, Countess.

- Good evening.
- Hi, gorgeous.

Any good bedtime reading?
Something with big writing.

This is great,
An Introduction to Murder.

Give me the evening paper instead.

- Keep the change.
- Thank you.

What's the news this evening?

"Three sisters murdered".
Brilliant!

- Goodbye.
- Goodnight.

- Have a nice evening, Countess.
- Hi, gorgeous.



- Countess...
- Hello, gorgeous.

- Can I give you a lift home?
- Thanks, but I think I'll walk.

Good evening, Countess.

- Can I have a light?
- At once.

- Thank you.
- Goodnight.

Wait for me, I'll be back.

- Hi, dear.
- Hi.

He's got a new car.

- Hi, Tino. How are you?
- Going anywhere?

Of course, autonomy and independence.
That's what a car gives you.

One can't live these days
without a car.

With a car you don't even
have to worry about skinny legs.

They're all beautiful
sitting against a car.

Or at least that's how they seem.

Apart from the money,
which can always be paid in installments,

what worries me is driving.
You need good reflexes to drive.

I wonder if I have good reflexes.
I think I do.

I must be drunk!

All my life on a bus,
maybe a taxi if I had the money,

all those times on a bicycle,
and now I want to buy a car.

Oh, come on.

What's this?

Hey, baby, want to go for a drink?

- Coming?
- No, I'm going back to the depot.

Freak.

Want to go for a drink?
Get lost!

What's keeping
the late bus this evening?

Oh God!
What day is it?

There can't be another strike.

The writing is always
getting smaller.

Let's see...

Nothing about a strike here.

Where is it?

Here it is!

- Good evening, Countess.
- About time!

- It's on me this evening.
- Haven't they sacked you yet?

- Not yet, Countess.
- They must be nice.

- Where to?
- Home.

As you wish.

This one's always sleeping.

I'll let the poor old fellow sleep.

- Madam. I'm very sorry.
- That's alright.

- Did anyone ring?
- Nobody.

- Goodnight.
- The usual bottle of mineral water?

- Yes, thank you.
- You're welcome, madam.

Here you are.

Tell me something, Matteo.

In which garage do
customers park their cars?

None of them have a car.

- Do you need a parking spot?
- Me? No!

I was just curious.

- I'm going, I'm very tired.
- Goodnight, Ms. Anna.

- Ms. Anna?
- What?

There are meatballs and sauce
in the fridge if you'd like some.

You devil!

- Tomato and basil sauce?
- Yes!

I can't.
I get bloated.

Just two!

No. Wake me at ten o'clock
with a double coffee.

- At ten. Don't forget.
- At ten?

Yes, I've got to go shopping.

I need a few things.
Goodnight, Matteo.

Listen, Matteo.
You have those meatballs.

- And put them on my bill.
- Thank you.

Goodnight, Matteo.

- Thank you and goodnight, Ms. Anna.
- Goodnight.

You can't read these things.

Let's take a look
at the classifieds.

Here they are.

Now, let's see.

Great offer. Model 1100.
Two colors. Great tires.

License plate:
Rome 98...

Goodness no, far too old!

Next.

Fiat 850. Fully accessorized.

License plate: Catania.

Catania. A Sicilian Car.
No, thank you.

Next.

Alfa Romeo...
Oh God! Me with an Alfa Romeo!

I'd like it yellow.

Not too big,
but not too small either.

A good size.

One night you start thinking:

“I've never been to Florence.”
Well get motoring and go to Florence.

It always rains in Rome during winter.

I'll be warm and dry
and I won't give a damn.

The radio on
and the rhythm of the wipers,

as they sing their song.

Slowly you drive down Via Veneto,
pass in front of the Excelsior.

People will say:
“Is that the Countess?"

- Hello, Countess.
- Hello, gorgeous.

Sure, I got myself a car.

There are so many people
about in the morning.

Where are they all going?

I suppose it's almost noon.

Of course my life has always been
somewhat strange,

different from other people's.

The moment to change has arrived.

It really has arrived.

You've got to live life,
every hour of it,

even the morning.

Live amongst people a little more.

Because when you arrive
at a certain age...

what else is there but loneliness?

That's all there is.

That's how it is.

What have other people got?
Children, look at them.

But children leave.

Even me, I left my poor mother
as soon as I could.

You can't rely on anyone else
to live your life for you.

Automobile knife,
to attach to your dashboard.

What the hell?

- Are you free?
- Next one, madam.

- Taxi, are you free?
- No, I'm already taken.

- Please, wait a minute!
- I'm sorry, but I was here first.

Quick!

- Where's he going to?
- To the station.

- No, what are you doing?
- Please, I was here first.

Ignorant!

Serves you right!

I'm happy for you.

Taxi, over here!

Here, over here.

Where are you stopping?
Come forward.

To The Pines Hotel.

- Quickly, please.
- Sure, we'll fly.

- It's a gem. Really beautiful.
- Isn't it, madam?

It's such a coincidence.
Last night I imagined a yellow car

with a black convertible top.

I was walking by and here it is
waiting for me.

It's one of those wonderful
coincidences in life.

- Don't you think so?
- Sure.

And since I live alone,
it would be just right for me.

It would be perfect.
Two comfortable front seats,

space in the rear if you need it.

Yes, I think I'll get it.

- Excuse me, madam. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- Nice, but a little mad.
- She's just a poor lady...

- How do you know that?
- She said hi to you only!

Everyone.
He knows everyone!

Gigi, why are you changing your voice?
I recognize you anyway.

It's Anna. Sure.

Debts.

Debts make you live longer.

Listen.
I need a favor.

Are you coming to
Via Veneto this evening?

What?

It's not possible that
you're in trouble with all of them.

No, Gigi.

Don't worry,
I crossed off that thirty thousand.

I need a...

I need to talk to you.

Oh, come on!

Let's go to Rosati's in Via Veneto.

Do I know them?
No, it's just opened.

Rosati's is the new place,
you can't have debts with them.

Alright then, I'll see you...

So I'll see you there?

Tell me, do you still have the car?

Good.

Sure, a thousand Lire of gasoline.

Bye, Gigi.

Don't joke around.

At nine, and use your real voice
when I call you.

Here you are, madam.

Thank you.
I'll be eating here.

- Very good.
- A table inside for two.

- I'm waiting for someone first.
- I'll prepare the table.

Yes, but I'll tell you when.

The person I'm waiting for is a little...

- I hope he doesn't stand me up.
- He would be a fool to.

It's not like that.

Let me explain:
If he does stand me up he'll call.

So if there's a call for the Countess,
that's me.

Perfect, Countess.

So long then.

No.

1 go out in the evening
to get some fresh air.

Yes, the famous Roman breeze.

So you speak as well.

Sure, the Roman breeze,
but if someone near you smokes a...

- What are you smoking?
- Excuse me?

That thing reeks.

- It stinks.
- Ah, my cigar! Excuse me.

May I?

- May I offer you something to drink?
- No, beer makes me bloated.

Pardon?

I'm waiting for a gentleman,
if you don't mind.

He's very lucky.

Sure, he's a lucky guy.

- May I keep you company?
- No, now you're annoying me.

If you don't mind.
Who let him out at night?

- The Countess is waiting for you.
- This way? Thank you.

Luigi, over here.

- Hello, Anna.
- Hello. How are you?

- Is that new?
- No, you've already seen it.

- You're mad.
- Why?

- This place costs a fortune.
- What do you care? I'm paying.

- Me, I don't care.
- Well then?

By the way, the car only just made it,
it's running on empty.

- We'll fill it up later.
- Full.

You're too kind, Anna.
But full would be an exaggeration.

- I'm afraid it wouldn't handle it.
- Why not?

For three years it's been like this,
with its mouth open,

because I fill it by the capful.
It might explode if we fill it.

Good evening.

- Would you like a starter?
- I don't

- Is it wrong to order pasta?
- No, why?

- The gentleman would like spaghetti.
- No, maybe some rigatoni.

Good, Rigatoni and sauce for two?

Not for me. I'd like
some lean sliced ham.

And if I could have it cut...
How do you say?

- Quite thickly.
- And for me smooth.

I'd like smooth rigatoni
because it cooks better.

- He knows how to cook it.
- Of course he does.

Very well, and will you have
the house wine to drink?

- Excuse me?
- The house wine.

- That's fine, a dry white.
- For me as well.

We'll start with the wine.
Thank you.

Well if he just stands there
I get scared.

- We put on some show!
- I didn't know what to say!

He must think we're two drunks.

- Oh God!
- He wasn't very pleased.

- Is everything alright?
- Yes, thank you.

- Is everything alright.
- Yes, thank you.

- Would you like to taste it?
- He's asking you to taste it.

Thank you.

- Taste it.
- will.

- Very good.
- Thank you.

- Is there sugar in it?
- Yes, madam.

Well, Gigi...

What can one do?

At a certain point in life
one has to stop and reflect.

What have I got to show for my life?

Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

When I look around
I see that everyone...

Nearly everyone else has a passion.

- Even you, more or less.
- Less.

Oh, come on, you've always
been a complainer.

At least you have a family,
or you had one.

How are things with...

How are things with your wife?

You told me before that things
weren't the best between you two.

- How are things now?
- They're good.

- I haven't seen her in two years.
- You're a degenerate.

In the end it became insufferable.
The same thing every evening.

The questions began
as soon as I walked in the door:

Where were you? With who?

A poor man has to work hard all day
for a handful of lire.

Is it right that he can't go to

play billiards or eat a pizza
with his friends in the evening?

Visit the girls in San Silvestro.
I've known them forever.

You have two lire in your pocket

- and you can't even enjoy yourself?
- I know. It's only right.

You've always been kindhearted,
Gigi, at least outside the house.

It was too much,
she was always complaining.

I couldn't stand it anymore.
The shouting and screaming.

The whole neighborhood heard it.
We were even reported to the police.

Really?

To make a long story short:

one evening about two years ago
it started to get rough.

It became really nasty.

You're awful, Gigi.

A man should never
lay his hands on a woman.

Even if I had wanted to
I wouldn't have been quick enough.

That tramp punched me
four times in the mouth.

Right here!

I still owe the dentist 40,000 Lire
for fixing these four teeth.

- I believe you.
- And that was the end of it.

- Such business!
- She's at her sister's now, I think.

And I became a free man again!

- I'm sorry for you.
- Laugh all you like.

But you were saying you hadn't
found something in life.

- What haven't you found?
- A passion.

An aim in life.

But I'm not complaining,
that's just how it is.

And since life goes on
at a certain point one should...

- One has a need to...
- I understand, you want to get married.

What are you talking about?
Have you gone crazy?

- You were talking about passion.
- And so?

You think I want a husband?

Gigi, let's go.

Besides, do you think I'd ask you
for marital advice?

No, it's something else.

Something that requires
much more commitment.

So tell me.
You brought me all this way.

I want some advice, Gigi,
actually a favor.

- Relay, it's a paid favor.
- Then I'm ready and willing.

- Don't laugh!
- I wouldn't dare.

I've decided to buy a car.

Why would I laugh?
It's a great idea.

- You're absolutely right, Anna.
- See?

My car is falling apart,
bald tires, leaking battery...

I have a friend
who'll make it new again.

- He'll do a great job.
- No, Gigi, I wasn't clear.

I've already decided
which car I'm going to buy.

Understand now?
But driving worries me.

- Why?
- That stupid driving school.

I'm too old to be making
a fool out of myself.

- It would be full of young people.
- I see.

Gigi, I need someone,

I need a friend to teach me.

But someone who knows my personality,
because you know...

I want someone who won't be shocked
if I get a little angry by accident.

Here's what I thought:

2,000 Lire a lesson.

Wait, Gigi.
Gasoline and one meal a day.

Is that okay?

Throw in a pack of cigarettes
per lesson and it's a deal.

You've already had your first meal,
let's go buy some cigarettes,

get some gasoline
and have our first lesson.

- Now?
- We'll have Villa Borghese to ourselves.

- At night.
- Sure, why not at night?

- Alright, but who pays for the drinks?
- Don't worry, I'll pay.

- Let's go, Luigi.
- Coming.

When the batteries are drained
you must perform a push start.

- Understand?
- Gigi, go to hell!

- Come on, push!
- I am pushing!

- I'm pushing this pile of junk!
- That's it!

- Get in!
- What? Hold on!

Wait for me!

At least we found this place open,
or we'd have been stranded.

Who knows what would
have happened to us?

- Good evening.
- 2,000 Lire.

- Regular or Premium?
- Regular, this car can't handle Premium.

Premium harms this car.

I don't want to question you,
but there already is a car,

there's a handsome driver,
why don't you use this one?

Gigi, you haven't understood anything.
Let's go.

- What's to understand??
- I don't want this heap of scrap!

- Young man. Thank you.
- Thank you.

- Let's go.
- Goodbye.

God help us!

- Don't push too hard on it.
- I'm not.

- Put your hand here.
- Don't be stupid.

Put it here.
This is first.

- Push down gently.
- And this is second.

Who is it?
Hey, who's there.

More lovers.
What are you two up to?

- You'll laugh if I tell you.
- Really?

- He's teaching me how to clutch.
- Very funny.

- Come on, get out of here.
- At once!

- We'd better go.
- I hope they don't check the tax disc!

They can give us a hand.

- Would you mind giving us a hand?
- Sure, that's why we're here.

There's no need. It started.

- Maybe another time. Good night.
- Don't joke around with the cops.

Oh, leave it be.
Quit honking!

- Push!
- This one's lost his mind!

- I knew it wouldn't make it.
- I've been saying that for two years.

What does this one want?

- Women drivers!
- Get lost, jerk!

- Go back home!
- Get out of here!

Push this crock.
I regret ever calling you.

- Now you're complaining, are you?
- I should've just gotten drunk!

I see it, I see the bend.

Stop, you're making me nervous.

- Take your hands away.
- You have to drive calmly.

- I will if you keep your hands off.
- Shift gear.

- Shift gears.
- One second!

You have to shift gears!

One second, don't rush me.
There!

Slowly. Be careful of the lamp post.

Do I have to shift again?

- Do I have to shift?
- Shift. I told you!

- Oh God, I was wrong!
- No, I was wrong!

- Calm down.
- I'm getting anxiety.

- If you don't stay calm...
- I am calm.

- How's this?
- Go easy.

Go easy!

See, now you're doing well.

- Gigi, am I driving?
- You're doing great.

- I'm driving?
- Of course you're driving.

Oh God, I'm driving!

I'm driving!

May I have your attention please?

Quiet please.

Today we'll be talking about
the bevel gear pair.

The bevel gear pair is set between
the longitudinal transmission shaft

and the engine's
transversal axel shaft.

Oh God, this is men's stuff.

If my car breaks down,
I'll just wave for someone to stop.

- May I be of help, madam?
- Thank you.

It stopped all of a sudden.
I don't understand.

- Let's take a look at the engine.
- Thank you.

Don't mention it, madam.
Will you open me the...

Oh God, I can't remember
what it's called.

The thing, the cover.
It's easy, the things monks have.

The hood!

That's it, the hood.

On your left, madam,
there should be a...

Not again!

A small handle.
If you pull it I can open the hood.

The smallest gear,
also known as the pinion,

Do you remember the pinion?

The pinion works with the largest gear
on the transmission shaft,

the so-called "toothed sprocket",
and so on and so forth.

On the subject of pinions...
Madam?

I'm talking to you, madam.
Pardon me.

- Me?
- Yes.

Would you like to tell us
about pinions?

- Pinions?
- Yes, pinions.

- Would you like to come up?
- No.

What?
Did you come here to learn or not?

- Come on up, madam.
- I said no, and that's it.

It's in your own interest
for the exam.

God will help me with the exam.

I sit here,
I don't understand anything,

you talk and explain things to us.

The exam is our business.

As you wish.
Silence, please.

Let's go over today's lesson.

In modern cars the ratio
of teeth on the pinion

to those of the sprocket is 1:5.

Thank goodness!

I pay to sit here quietly,
I don't annoy anyone,

I don't even smoke,

and he wants to give me
a gold star for being good.

Great!

- Who's having pasta?
- That's for me.

- And for the lady?
- Nothing for me.

Ask me some questions.

The theory is as important as driving.
Talk while you eat.

Now, pay attention.

- The road sign for hills.
- What?

Hills.
What's it like?

You're some louse.
Straight into the difficult stuff.

Hills?

- The sign for hills.
- Hills.

Wait.
What are you laughing at?

- The sign for hills is like a bra.
- Great!

See, that's two I've gotten right!

But damn it,
my memory is no good.

- It's the fault of the cigarettes.
- Don't throw it away!

Come on, another one.

Eat slowly.
God, you're such a pig!

Eat slowly or you'll choke.
Ask me another question.

- What did you say?
- Falling rocks?

Yes, that's exactly
what I wanted to ask you.

- Come on.
- Be patient.

If I'm on a countryside road
and see a falling rock sign,

what am I meant to do:
watch the mountain while I drive?

If it's my destiny to be crushed by a
boulder, I'll just have to live with it!

These signs are such a pain!

Besides I don't like the countryside,
it has always made me feel sad.

I like the sea.

The sea is wonderful.

The sea makes you happy
straight away.

Will I be ready for
the driving exam before summer?

What do you think?
Eat!

What do you think?

I think afterwards
I'll have either a steak,

or some meatloaf.

If not all this pasta
will make me feel...

- How much do you eat?
- Hey, it's a meal!

- Don't shout.
- A meal consists of a starter,

a second course
and some vegetables.

I haven't even mentioned the fruit.

Please, have some.
You're wasting away!

- Besides, fruit is good for you.
- Can I have a cigarette?

- Where's the pack I bought you?
- I left it in the car.

So you left it in the car!

You eat and drink at the same time,
you're such a pig!

You're some character!
You're crazy, crazy!

- Why?
- How did you get this idea...

of having a car?

Gigi, I've been wondering
that myself.

Maybe to keep up with the times.

I don't know.

I don't know,
but I've thought about it for a while.

It must have something to do with...

loneliness.

It's not that I...

I didn't even get down
during those dreadful times.

It really was dreadful.
You remember, don't you?

When they passed that famous law,
it ruined everyone.

- It was madness.
- A mistake.

And then everything
worked itself out.

Then there were the good times,
when we had the Olympics.

For us the Olympics were Heaven sent.
Thank God for them.

Rome was full of people,
Germans and Americans getting drunk.

- I made good money from them.
- I know.

I saved a lot of money back then.

I can't remember who advised me
to buy a...

Who advised me?

Darn, my memory's going.

- Gigi Pacchiano, from San Silvestro?
- No.

- Darn, I can't remember.
- Lumacone.

- That guy from...
- No.

- From Gonfione?
- No.

Who then?

Anyway he advised me
to buy a little place in Tuscolano.

It's a laundry.
It doesn't make much but it's safe money.

Then I've got...

- I've got some savings bonds.
- They're good.

They can't be touched.

I thought very well before I quit.

I've also got four valuable
personal keepsakes,

but I've no one to leave them to.

So I'll sell them to make
a down payment on the car, 400,000 Lire.

Then pay the rest off
at 30,000 Lire a month.

It'll be no problem since I'll already
have paid off 400,000 Lire.

But why a car, Anna?

- That's what I don't understand.
- How would I know?

Well, I seem to be the only person
not to have one.

Maybe because a car
will make me feel different.

To be like other women.

Do you understand what I mean?

Besides, when I'm inside a car...

I feel beautiful.

You can't see my big belly
or crooked legs.

You can't see the fat here!

I become a beautiful woman.

- I love you.
- It was time to do something.

I won't look so crazy inside a car.

- You're so funny!
- And from here up, who cares?

Pay attention. Don't move.

Excuse me, you shouldn't smile
so much for a driver's license.

- A little more natural.
- Don't worry, I'm always laughing.

- It comes naturally.
- It won't look right.

I'll do as I please,
I don't want to look like a corpse.

- Alright then. Ready?
- One moment.

- Try to stay still.
- No.

Stay like that.

All done.

Good, and perhaps you could retouch it
a little bit, without exaggerating.

- Make me nice and optimistic.
- Certainly.

- Thank you, goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Here's our coffee.
Thank you.

Brandy?

- Who asked for brandy?
- I did. Over here.

Give me a drag of that.

- Enough!
- Leave the bottle.

- What do you want the bottle for?
- Stop annoying me!

- That's enough.
- What do you want?

- How many more are there?
- You must be next,

he's calling you alphabetically,
and we're at 'I',

- I wanted a glass of water...
- Gigi?

- What?
- What happens if I fail?

- They won't beat you!
- But I'll have to resit it.

So you wait for a while
and then resit it.

Damn!

Is there no one
we could have called?

It's such a shame
that politician I knew died.

- Such a kind man.
- Which party was he a member of?

Which one do you think?
That one.

- Giuliana Maffei?
- Here I am.

Come on this way.

- Elvira Mancuso?
- Here.

- Anna Mastronardi?
- Here I am!

Relax, be confident.

- It's better if I don't go.
- Don't worry.

- Come on, madam.
- Don't worry, go on.

- Here I am.
- She's here. Be confident, Anna.

Here I am.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Let's start straight away.
Start the engine.

- One second.
- The ignition.

I have to put it in neutral first.

Now.

- Release the handbrake.
- Let me start it first.

- Come on, give it some gas.
- I think something's wrong.

- Let's go, madam. Come on.
- But, Engineer...

- I don't want to flood the engine.
- Give it some gas, madam, let's go!

- First release handbrake.
- Very good.

I knew it.

- Don't be tense.
- Who's tense?

- I'm relaxed. Relaxed.
- Sure.

- Switch on your indicator.
- Which way?

- To the right.
- This way or that way?

- To the right.
- The right.

There.

Slow, slow, slow!

- Oh God!
- What the hell!

- What are you trying to do?
- Me?

Can't you see the sign?
No right turn.

- I know.
- But you said to turn right!

Yes, to see if you took
notice of the sign.

That's nice, trying to trick me!

Rolando Mencaccini!

- I thought it was you.
- Yes, I'm Rolando Mencaccini.

- Excuse me, but who are you?
- I'm Anna.

- Anna!
- Anna?

I remember that you
were doing your final year in the...

And here you are, an engineer.
Engineer Rolando Mencaccini!

- Of course, Anna!
- You old devil!

- It's great to see you, it's been so long.
- Don't remind me.

Who would have thought it!

I remember you wanted
to quit university.

You'd already spent all your fee money,
and your poor father...

- Grosseto, wasn't it?
- Exactly, you're amazing!

The letters he wrote to you.
That if you didn't pass the exams

he'd come to Rome and shoot you
and the tramp you'd fallen in love with.

- But it wasn't me.
- Yes, yes.

- I'd meet you in that pizza parlor...
- In Via Palestro.

- Yes, Via Palestro.
- It's still there.

Anna, it's great to see you.

I got my degree,
for what's it worth, thanks to you.

- Seriously.
- It makes me very happy to hear that.

You old devil!

Shouldn't we go?
If the police see us

imagine what they'd think.

- What should I do, Engineer?
- This calls for a drink.

- Put it in reverse.
- No.

If I have to reverse
I'll fail the exam.

- I'll drive then.
- That's better.

I can't believe this happened today.

I'm so lucky.

You can't drive like that!

Don't worry.
We can do what we want!

- Slowly.
- Here's your car.

- Go slowly!
- It's alright, madam.

- Don't worry yourself.
- I got a fright.

- So, can I get in?
- Please do.

- This way, madam.
- Thank you.

- Good luck, madam.
- Thank you.

Comfortable?
We adjusted the seat for you.

Here are all the car and
ownership documents.

- Thank you.
- Goodbye and good luck, madam.

Thanks again.

Remember, we're always here
if you need anything.

I might bring it back!

Hold on a second, madam.

It's all clear.

- Come on.
- Watch the step!

- Can I go?
- On you go.

- Goodbye again, madam.
- Goodbye.

- Best wishes.
- Goodbye.

Hi, gorgeous.

- Hello, Anna.
- Hi.

Look, it's the Countess.

Hello, gorgeous.

Done.

Oh, my kidneys!

Matteo, wake up!
I've got something to show you outside.

- Yes, coming.
- Hurry up.

- Look at that.
- It's beautiful!

- Isn't it something?
- It's marvelous!

- It must have cost a fortune.
- Don't even mention it.

And I'll have to pay more
for all the extras.

There will always
be things to pay for.

I suppose it's kind of like
having a child.

You raise it up,
but it never ends.

Beautiful.
Did you ask about the garage?

Unfortunately there's nothing near here,
but you can leave it out here.

I don't sleep at night,
I can check on it every so often.

You don't sleep?
Let's not get into that!

Anyway, there's nothing to worry about.
It has an alarm.

If someone tries to force the door
it gets set off,

- and the car starts beeping.
- Ingenious!

- It's really something.
- Let's go now.

I haven't seen many cars
as nice as that one.

Yes, first I have to get insurance.

Theft, fire, dis...

I nearly said diseases!

A car changes everything.

They say that modern man
is a slave to his car, so what?

Man has always been a slave to something.

The type of slavery
changes with the times.

Why do we always have to say “man“?
Why not "woman"?

Because women have always been
slave to man.

But for once
man will be put in his place.

The car!

Oh God!

Who's beeping that horn?

- Have patience. Is Armando there?
- No, he's not back.

Thanks. Sorry again.

What can I do?
I can't let fear get the better of me.

I'll stay here.

Over here.

That's fine, madam.
I'll take it from here.

- Can I have the keys?
- What do you want?

- The keys.
- Not a chance.

- How I am meant to move it?
- Push it.

Think I'd give the keys to you?

Everything.
Theft, fire...

- Naturally, also third-party coverage.
- What?

Third-party coverage, madam.

It covers payments to people
injured in any eventual accident...

Heaven forbid!

It's just an example,
but if you have to compensate them.

Then third-party as well.

Of course, the car has three seats.

Two comfortable ones,
and one in the rear.

- Yes, third-party.
- Very good.

- So, Ms...
- Anna.

Anna.

- Mastronardi.
- Mastronardi.

- Address?
- I live in a hotel.

- Which hotel?
- The Pines Hotel.

The Pines Hotel.

- Rome.
- Do you know where it is?

Yes. I know it.

The time is now seven-thirty.

If we left earlier there wouldn't
be anyone else here.

I wanted to go to the soccer game.
I got up at five.

Sure you did! Even the children
were ready when you got up.

If always wait for you...

- She'll be finished in two minutes.
- Sure, two minutes!

- Let's wait an hour then!
- Why are you always such a...

- Can't you ever stop talking?
- Hello.

- Hello, madam.
- Hello.

- Dad, when are we going to the beach?
- Stay quiet!

Don't lose your patience.

I lost it a long time ago.

- It's nice and shiny now.
- Real shiny.

That's how you wash a car.

I'm the only one who ever
washes our car!

Why don't you do something for once?

- Hello.
- Here I am.

- Have you ever tried one of these?
- No, never. But I know them.

- You know it?
- Yes, I've seen it on TV.

- But I've never used one.
- It's really great. I recommend it.

- Riccardo, hurry up with that hose!
- Now I even have to rush.

It works wonderfully.

- I should have been a fireman.
- Get a move on, Riccardo!

Coming, my love.
Have a little patience.

- Don't take the car apart!
- Have a look at this lady's hose.

- Let's check out her hose.
- It's really wonderful.

Now look, you do everything with this.

Hello, that's a nice hose.
My compliments.

- You can clean everywhere with this.
- Really, everywhere?

- It's great. Know where I bought it?
- Where?

- You know that big shop in Via Terme?
- Sure, the one on the corner.

They called me
as soon as it was delivered.

- This is special plastic.
- Really?

It has a special thing
that mixes everything together.

You can even shampoo your car,
just like a woman.

It's ingenious!

- You have to buy me one, Riccardo.
- Even that!

- Come on, hurry up.
- I'm ready.

Look at the job
it did on that car.

- Look at that.
- Nice and shiny.

If our car could only look like that.

- Can we start, madam?
- I'm finished, miss.

- Think I'm going to wash it twice?
- It's because we're in a hurry!

Or else we'll spend
Sunday at this fountain.

- Nice aerial.
- Look, even the aerial's shiny.

- Were the children playing with this?
- No.

- It's ruined.
- It must have been you then.

- How are we going to wash it now?
- Her car is so beautiful.

The time is now nine-thirty.

Have a nice Sunday, madam.

- Hurry up, or we'll never get there.
- I don't even want to go to the beach.

What now?

Narrow road.
Rough slippery surface.

The only thing missing
is that they shoot at you.

Not a chance.
Who'd want to drive down there?

Look at that!

They'll never let me in.

What the...?

You have to wait for
a real gentleman to show up.

The type that'd give you
a rose in a restaurant.

STAY SAFE,
DON'T SPEED

Fine then.

- The time is now eleven-thirty.
- Oh God!

This is who I've been waiting for.

It'll be dark before we get there!

Did your engine stop?

On my way back I'll tell you
all about the beach.

- Come on, move!
- Give me a hand.

- Let me get by.
- Please, give me a hand.

Let's go, push!

- Steer. Turn the wheel.
- Yes, sure.

- Instead of checking out women.
- Who, me? Not at all.

Come on, push.

The time is now twelve-thirty.

Excuse me, madam,
you can't park here.

- There's no room.
- But I've been looking for two hours.

Alright then.

I'll find a place,
but I need the keys.

Okay, I'll leave you the keys.

- Do you know how to drive?
- Of course, it's my job!

- How would I know. It's brand new.
- So?

- Make sure you cover it.
- I'll cover it, but I need the keys.

I'll give you the keys.
Help me, please.

- Cover it well.
- Sure. I understand.

- Here are the keys.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

- There you go. Anything else?
- No, thank you.

I'll have to take it easy this year.
The car needs to be run-in.

Next year nothing will stop me
from going to Spain.

I'll do it in stages.

I won't be in a hurry.

I'll stop wherever I want.

They say the exchange rate
is good in Spain.

Who would ever have thought it?

If someone had told me my life
would change so suddenly.

Just imagine, me at a bullfight.

No, not a bullfight.
I don't like people who kill animals.

The flamenco, definitely.

Goodness, he's beautiful!

Why wasn't I born a man?

One like him,
brave enough to just dive off.

A winner.

Look at that!

A winner, like Gigi Riva.

Well done, wonderful!

Well done, you were great.

Here's your cigarette.

Cover yourself up,
you'll catch a cold.

Wait, one more photograph.
Don't move.

Dry yourself, dry yourself.

- Stop moving!
- Leave me be.

Why can't we ask someone else?
We have so many friends.

We're spoilt for choice.

If you want
I can make a few calls.

Why do we have to ask
that boring Melania?

You're so annoying, Gigi.
There really is a noise.

There's a noise that I don't like.

A sort of whine, understand?

Oh God!

No, it can't be the chassis.
I already checked it.

Yes, sir!

Women, once they start talking
they never hang up!

Yes, I put the top up
and rolled up the windows.

I'm telling you
it's coming from the engine.

The car's complaining about something.

As though it's crying.

Of course I care!

- Sorry.
- That's alright.

How would I know?
It's a sort of whistle.

It's complaining!
I already told you.

Of course I'm not forcing the engine.

As soon as I hit seventy or eighty
there's this noise.

Why won't you believe me?

I understand. Alright.

Let's pretend it's an additional lesson.

Fine. See you in Rosati's then.

In Rosati's at nine-thirty.

Alright, yes sir!

Bye.

Sorry about that.
It was important.

- Dial the number?
- Straight away.

Hello, is Ms. Melania there?

What?

What does it matter who I am?
Is she there or not?

Can you at least tell me
when she'll be back?

Well then?

- Alright then. Goodbye.
- Why are you wasting your time?

We'll find a lift.
Let's ask Patrizia Volterra,

or that stupid woman who gets
collected everyday by her driver.

Both of them are a pain.
They never stop talking.

How about taking the subway?
It's even more fun.

I'll try again.

- Meanwhile, get me an iced-tea without...
- Without sugar, tall glass, I know!

Who gives a damn!

- Are they yours?
- Please.

Can I have one?

- Do you want one?
- Thank you.

- Oh, excuse me.
- Don't worry about it.

- Are you going to Rome?
- Yes. Why?

- Do you have a car?
- An 850.

Good. We'll come with you.
Will you give us a ride?

- Why not?
- Your tea.

- He's coming too, okay?
- Sure.

- He always finds a way.
- So let's go.

I'm Lou and he's Guido.

- I'm Anna Mastronardi.
- Great. Let's go.

- Yes, but the cigarettes are mine.
- Of course.

- Madam, can we get a move on?
- I'm coming.

- It's the yellow one.
- Okay.

- We're with the lady.
- Okay.

Here, this is for you.
Can I have the keys?

- They're in the glove box.
- Put that in the back.

Yes, I'll sort it out.

- Let's go.
- No, you're not driving.

I get very nervous if I don't drive.

It still isn't fully run-in.

- Don't worry!
- Sure, I understand.

Don't get it dirty.
It's brand new.

I'll get the door.

- Lift the aerial.
- Right away.

Done.

Slow down a little because...

I'm a little scared.

Light me a cigarette.

Sure.

- You can't do that!
- Relax.

What the...!

Watch out for that car!

The cyclist!

- Please, take it easy.
- He's a great driver.

If he wanted he could be
a professional race driver.

This car's a bit slow.

- Even if I push it.
- So don't push it! It hasn't been run-in.

It hasn't been broken in yet.

It's not fast enough!

Then stop the car
if you don't like it.

I did you a favor
and you act like this?

Oh God!

I told you to stop!

Push down on the brake,
pull over, and stop!

- I'm afraid!
- Shut up!

Old hen!

Are you completely mad?

It's my car. I told you
to slow down and stop.

Look, I know him well.
He'll go faster if you say you're afraid.

Who the hell did I give a lift to?

Look out!

Oh Holy Mother, protect me!

Let me by!

He's mad!

Look at this idiot.
Let's frighten the life out of him.

No, let's not!

Oh God.

It's too crowded here,
let's get onto the beltway.

You'll have to stop
at the traffic lights.

Would you ever quit complaining?

You're afraid, aren't you?

Oh God!
Can't you say something to him?

Who are you?
You're both crazy!

Please, don't.
Why are you doing this?

I can't believe this is happening!

- Hold on tight.
- I don't feel well.

Here we go!

Get out of the way!

- Careful, Lou!
- Oh God!

We'll check it out at once.

A car drove into the wrong lane.
Let's go.

Look at that!

I've lost everything.
I can't find anything.

My shawl.
Where's my shawl?

- Is this yours?
- Thank you.

- What happened?
- How would I know?

- I don't feel well.
- Want to go to hospital?

- Oh, my arm.
- You should be seen to.

- It was those two madmen!
- But you crossed lanes, madam.

I tried to...
But he wouldn't listen.

- Were you driving?
- No, the blond one was driving.

- Is he a friend?
- No. |I was just giving him a lift.

- Are you insured?
- Sure, I even have third-party!

- Do you know his name?
- Lou! That's his name.

Strange name.
He must be a foreigner.

I think he's German.
He's mad!

- Is it serious?
- Let's get him to the ER.

- His whole face is...
- Who does this belong to?

- It's my necklace.
- Take it easy.

What's going on?
Is he serious or not?

The poor boy.
He's so young.

He just fainted from the shock.

I'm shocked too.

- His face was all blood.
- Of course, after a crash like that.

But he came to straight away.
You are insured?

- I already told you I was insured!
- So there's nothing to worry about!

That's my car!

- What's your name?
- Anna Mastronardi.

- Is this your car?
- Yes, Anna Mastronardi.

Can I have your documents please?

- Were you driving?
- No!

- It was the blond.
- I see, the one going to hospital.

- I'll get my documents.
- Try to stay calm.

I am calm. Leave me be!

- The documents, madam.
- He's bothering me!

Here, the ownership certificate
and my license.

Look at her!

My poor car!

Look at how my car ended up.

What the hell do you want?

Sorry about that.

- We'll be here until it's dark.
- They must have been drunk.

- Where are you going?
- There's always some idiot!

Marcello, why can't you mind
your own business?

Move that car,
we need to get out of here.

We can't stay here forever!

No, please don't!

- Please! Can't you do something?
- You have to move that car.

Hey, you were here,
you saw what happened.

- I don't care about the match.
- But Roma is playing!

- Please, you can't leave me by myself.
- This has nothing to do with me.

Everyone here has gone mad.

Everyone is mad.

Everyone is mad.