Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) - full transcript

Earth.
Birth place of the human race.

A species much like our own.

Capable of great compassion...

17,000 BC.

and great violence.

For in our quest
to protect the humans,

a deeper revelation dawns.

Our worlds have met before.

Here, here.

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

Shanghai, China, 22:14, Today



Breaking news at Shanghai.

There's been a major toxic spill
on the Shanghai Central District.

- Citizens today--
- For today,

our topic that's a
developing story for you,

we will bring you
any new information

as we get it...

Pentagon: NEST Central Command

- What's the status?
- Sea hawks approaching target.

Three minutes until
evacuation's complete, sir.

Chinese airspace has
been locked and sealed.

One mile radius.

Alright, give NEST team the go.

Black Hawks, clear to land.

# Ding-a-ling, come out
and get your ice cream #



Any bad robot out there better
get ready for an ass-whooping.

[Popsicles]

For the last two years,
an advanced team of new Autobots

has taken refuge here
under my command.

Arcees, get ready to launch.

We're locked and loaded.

Together, we form an
alliance with the humans.

A secret,
a brave squad of soldiers.

Alright, that's enough.

Time discovered story in
this one is toxic spill.

They had to evac the area
for search and rescue.

This makes six enemy
contacts in eight months.

We gotta make sure this one
does not get out the public eyes

so keep it tight.

A classified strike team
called NEST.

We hunt for what remains
of our Decepticon foes,

hiding in different
countries around the globe.

Rolling Alpha through Echo now.

Alright, Ironhide.

We got echoes. Vamos.

To the stacks. Two o'clock.

He's here.

I smell him.

It's close. It's getting closer.

Oh, no.

How are ya?

It's three ripple.

Alright, everybody, be steady.

We're right on top of it.

Ease on fire.

Hand to one.
Requesting fire mission now!

Gunships on station. Rolling hot.

We intercepted a Decepticon.

Arcee twins, target coming your way.

Watch out!

I screwed that up.
I'm okay, I'm alright.

This is kinda bad, man.
What's wrong with you?

Three inside swipe.

Clear the path.

Damn, I'm good.

Air support, we need Big Booter
delivered and dropped now.

Code 9-A...

Dropping in five,
four, three, two, one.

Autobots, I'm in pursuit.

Pull over.

Punk-ass Decepticon,

any last words?

This is not your planet to rule.

The Fallen shall rise again.

That doesn't sound good.

Not today.

Come on, let's go.
All hands on deck.

Frankie, Mojo, out.

Come on, kiddo,

- we're on a schedule here.
- Slow down, Dad.

Why are you in such a
hurry to get rid of me, huh?

Did you rent the room out?

No, I got other ideas for your room

and it rhymes with home theater.

Look what I found. It's
your little baby booties.

Oh, Ma...

Oh my little baby,
booty boy, you can't go.

You see this, Dad?

That's not how you're supposed to react

when the fruit of your loins goes out
on patrol to prep for himself, okay?

Yeah, my heart breaks for
you, pal. College, bummer.

You have to come home every holiday,

not just big ones.

You have to come home for Halloween.

I can't come home for Halloween, Mom.

- We'll come to you.
- No, we're not going anywhere.

- You dress up, we'll be in
costumes. - You-You can't do that.

Would you let the kid
breathe, for crying out loud?

Come on, go, pack!

There's no way you're packed

for a month long trip. Come on!

Chop-chop. Let's go!

March, young lady.

Oh, oh, Dad!

I love you when you call me
young lady, you dirty old man.

Nah, you ain't seen nothing yet.

- Dad, Dad, Dad, whoa!
- What?

I'm watching what you're doing, Dad.

It's not a rap video.

Just like a coach thing, you know.

That's a really creepy move just now, Dad.

Look, you're the hero, uh...

Your mother and me are
really, really proud of you.

You're the first Witwicky
ever to go to college.

Now I'm crying again. This sucks!

You're gonna be okay, Ma.

Now this is going to be, uh...

you know, hard for her to...

accept that her boy's
all grown up, you know.

Going out to handle
the world on his own.

- You okay, Pop?
- Yeah.

Mojo, no dominating Frankie!

Get the hell of the couch,
ya filthy beasts!

Wow.

You see a lot of that in college too.

What are you talking about, Dad?

There's gonna be a lot of women there.

Yeah, well, I'm the
one-woman kind of guy.

Look, Mikaela is the greatest,

but you gotta give each
other room to grow, okay?

You're no different than
any other couple your age.

Till we discovered
an alien race together.

How long are you gonna
be riding that scooter?

[SONG: 21 Guns BAND: Green Day]

Dad, listen, I know what the odds are.

We're the exception, okay?

Wait a second...

- Oh, who could that be?
- Two weeks, it could be Muffy.

Hey, beautiful.

- I'm breaking up with you, Sam.
- Really?

You sure?
I don't hear a lot of conviction.

Well, I am, okay?

So there's no reason for me
to come say goodbye to you.

Wow, you almost sounded
serious that time.

Guess what?

I made you a
long-distance relationship kit.

Yeah, I got you a webcam
so we can chat 24/7.

All Witwicky all the time.

I got you a couple of souvenirs

that you bet that cannot
be mentioned on cell phone.

Some mixes and candles and stuff...

Sounds cute, I can't wait.

Oh, hey!

You want the infamous D-Day shirt?

You kept your nasty, shredded clothes?

Yeah, of course I kept it, Mikaela.

It's like my Superbowl jersey.
I bled in this thing.

Wow, you're pretty confident, huh?

No, it's not that.

It's just that my low
self-esteem's at an all-time high.

Do you think your little
box of souvenirs

is gonna keep me from leaving you?

You really should come with me,

they got cheap apartments in campus.

Well, that's not gonna happen

until I get my man child
father rushed out of prison,

back on his feet.

I heard that.

Where did you put the clutch covers?

Next to the cam shafts.

I love it when you say cam
shafts. Whisper it to me.

Cam shafts.

God, I hate you.

It's my Witwicky charm.

Wait, hold on. Wait, hold on a second.

I guess we're not breaking up.

I'll be over in 20.

Mikaela...

I think this little bit
Cube got stuck on my shirt.

Sam?

Oh God! It's a fire!

Dad, we got a fire!

Fire!

Ron, did you know it
was gonna be this hard?

C-Can you just stop?

- Yeah, okay, I'll stop.
- Just wait...

- You carry this shit.
- I'll--I'll...

- Wow!
- You know what?

I don't wanna go anywhere with you.

I don't wanna go to France with you.

I don't wanna go around
the corner with you.

- Alright, fine.
- I'm just going back inside.

I'll call you from Paris.

What is all the racket?

- Whoa.
- Sam?

- Whoa, whoa.
- Dad...

- What was that?
- It's the whole kitchen!

Help me...
Oh my--

Bumblebee!

Oh, jeez!

Phone 9-1-1.

Bumblebee! Get in the garage.

What the frick is happening?

What happened to restraint, man?

Just go in the garage, quietly please?

Holy mother!

Oh, my God!

I--In the garage, now!

Power's out! Get the cops out!

Come on, you guys. What
are you waiting for?

My house is on fire!

- What happened?
- Come here.

Listen, I need you to take the Cube sliver.

Put it in your purse, right now.

- Sam Witwicky...
- Yes, Mom.

- A word with you.
- Yeah.

- Hi, Mikaela.
- Hi.

- I have a bald spot.
- Oh.

- An old furnace, I think.
- Become a waffle iron.

When you go, he goes.

I cannot live with this
psychotic alien in my garage.

Judy, shh.

National security.

Look, if we stay quiet, they're
gonna take care of everything.

Just consider this the official
start of a remodel, okay?

Fine. If the government's
paying, I want a pool...

- and a hot tub.
- Fine. Okay.

And I'm gonna skinny-dip and
you can't say shit about it!

Yeah, you know you're a tool.

- He's having voice problems.
- He's playing it up.

Bee, I want to talk to you
about the college thing, okay?

# I'm so excited #

Hey.

I'm not taking you with me.

I wanna wait outside, okay?

I wanted to tell you about this earlier.

It's just that-- You know,

Here's the thing.

Freshmen aren't allowed to have cars.

I know, and if it was up to me, I'd
take you with me, but it's not, Bee.

Look, you're an Autobot.

You shouldn't be living
in my dad's garage.

I mean, you're suffocating in here.

You deserve better than this.

This is hard enough, man,

don't make it harder. Can
you just look at me, please?

Come on, big guy.

Look, the guardian thing is
done, okay? You did your job.

Look, I'm safe now.

You need to go be with
Optimus Prime and the others.

I just want to be normal, Bee.

That's why I'm going to college.

I can't do that with you.

It's not the last time I'm
gonna see you, you know, Bee.

Come on, don't do that.
Bee. You're killing me, Bee.

But you'll always be my first car.

Love you, Bee.

Wow!

Between state farm and the
taxpayers, we're all taken care of.

- You got dirt all over you.
- Stop, stop.

- What?
- It's--I'm okay.

Well, look.

So you think you can make it

through those East
Coast winners without me?

You're like the best thing
that ever happened to me.

And?

- And I'll do anything for you.
- And?

- I think Sam's about to say the L word.
- Let's go, kiddo.

Nice timing, Dad.

I... adore you.

That's not the word that
I wanna hear right now.

What are you talking about?

It's the same word as the other word.

- It's not the same word.
- Look, if I said the other word now,

you forced me to say won't mean anything.

Plus, you haven't said it either.

So don't get mad at me for not saying it.

Yeah, but I haven't said it

because guys always run
when you say it first.

Yeah, well, so do girls.

Especially, girls like you with options.

So this is all part of your elaborate plan

to keep me interested?

Can be.

Ain't those working?

Have a kiss.

We'll make it work, I promise.

[SONG: Never Say Never BAND: The Fray]

The female has the Cube fragment.

Soundwave acknowledges. Pursue her.

Retrieve it.

NEST: Secret Operations,
Diego Garcia, Indian Ocean

Autobot twins,
report to Hangar Three.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Hello. Those are nice. Yeah,
baby, it's upgrade time.

Yes, oh, yeah. Look here. Come
on, let me call right here.

Time to get my sexy on with the green.

Green? Oh no,

Green is mine, I call green.

Be my body.

- I got the green.
- That hurt, man.

It's supposed to hurt.
It's an ass kicking.

Director Galloway, what an honor.

Let me show you around

but you gotta be in the
classified access list.

I am now.

Presidential order, Major.

I got a message for your
classified space buddies.

You guys made a mess at Shanghai.

Alright, so this is where
we communicate with the JCS.

And this area serves
as the Autobots' hangar.

Secured line to JCS is up, Major.

US Military Satellite

Secured line to the Pentagon now.

Saw the Shanghai op.
It was a rough day.

Yes, sir.

We have intel that I believe
warns an immediate debrief.

Now with your permission,
I can't let you see him

but I would like you to hear
from the leader of the Autobots.

Proceed.

You gotta wonder.

God made us in his image. Who made him?

General, our alliance has countermanded
6 Decepticon incursions this year.

Each on a different continent.

They're clearly searching
around the world for something.

But last night's encounter
came with a warning:

The Fallen shall rise again.

"The Fallen." Meaning what?

Origin: Unknown.

They only recorded

history of our race was
contained within the All-Spark,

lost with its destruction.

Excuse me!

With this so-called
"All-Spark" now destroyed,

why hasn't the enemy left the planet

like you thought they would?

Director Galloway,
our national security advisor.

The President just
appointed him liasion.

- It's too, uh...
- Well, I guess I didn't get that memo.

Forgive the interruption,
General. Excuse me, coming through.

Excuse me, excuse me...

After all the damage in Shanghai,

the President is, uh...

hard-pressed to say the job's getting done.

Now, under the classified
Alien Autobot Cooperation Act,

you are agreeing to
share your intel with us,

but not your advancements in weaponry.

We've witnessed your
human capacity for war.

It would absolutely
bring more harm than good.

But who are you to
judge what's best for us?

With all due respect, we've
been fighting side-by-side

in the field for two years.

We've shared blood, sweat
and precious metal together.

Soldier, you're paid to shoot, not talk.

Don't tempt me.

And the, uh...

- The newest members of your team...
- Easy...

I understand they arrived here
after you sent a message into space.

An open invitation to come to Earth,

vetted by no one at the White House.

Let me stop you right there, Mr. Galloway.

It was vetted right here.

And in my experience, the judgement
of both Major Lennox and his team

has always been above reproach.

Well be that as it may, General,
it is the position of the President

that when our
national security is at stake,

no one is above reproach.

Now, what do we know so far?

We know that the enemy leader,

classified NBE-1, AKA Megatron,

is resting in peace

at the bottom of
the Laurentian Abyss,

surrounded by SOSUS detection nets

and a full-time
submarine surveillance.

We also know that

the only remaining piece
of your alien All-Spark

is locked in an
electromagnetic vault,

here on one of the most secure
naval bases in the world.

Decepticons, we have located the shard.

And since no one...

can seem to tell me what
the enemy is now after,

well, there--there's
only one clear conclusion:

You. The Autobots.

They're here to hunt you.

What's there to hunt for
on Earth besides that?

"The Fallen... shall rise again"?

Sounds to me like something's coming.

So let me ask if we ultimately conclude

that our national security is best served

by denying you further
asylum on our planet,

will you leave peacefully?

Freedom is your right.

If you make that request, we will honor it.

But before your president
decides, please ask him this:

What if we leave and you were wrong?

That's a good question.

Oh, my gosh,

look at this place!

I feel smarter already.

Ron, can you smell it?

Yeah, smells like $40,000 a year.

Okay, cheapo.

Go ahead, we'll, uh...
We'll get your stuff.

Just go ahead and check out your room.

[SONG: 21 Guns BAND: Green Day]

- Hey.
- Hey.

You must be Sam, right? I'm Leo.

Hey.

Uh, sorry, I already set up the crib.
Do you want this side or that side?

- That side.
- I already chose that side.

You know what this is?
This is the awkward moment.

Yeah, so you're trying to
see if I'm a normal guy,

I'm trying to see if you're a normal guy,

balanced and medicated
enough for another curl space.

Good personal hygiene
won't stab me in my sleep.

Good criminal record won't steal anything.

- Including girlfriends.
- Especially girlfriends.

- You got a girlfriend?
- I do.

- You?
- No, not a chance.

- You're a techie?
- Hmm.

Sweet.

- Sharsky, Fassbinder, where we at?
- Server's almost online, Leo.

It works up and running.

Beautiful, that's what I like to hear.

- That's Sharsky, that's Spastik,
- Hey, dude.

my I.T. gurus.

That's me, I'm sure you've heard of it.

- No, I haven't.
- Well, that sucks.

- What is all this for?
- See, look...

Call me gross, I wanna
be a baby billionaire.

Kitten calendars.

It's where it started. Look at me now.

Got our dreams, bro.

Leo, we got some bad news in Shanghai.

Post it, baby. Go, go, go! FTJ, FTJ!

- It's clean.
- What's FTJ?

- Fuel the jet, fuel the jet.
- FTJ, FTJ.

- This is it. Did you see that?
- Wow. Okay, this half of Shanghai

gets rigged when China says gas leak.

Don't believe the hype, bro.

Just like the alien robots in LA two
years ago that everyone covered up.

Yeah, I saw these robots
and they did this, like,

firing thing and they came
down and twisted this woman

- and she was like--
- Looks fake to me.

Dude, it's not fake. The
Internet's pure truth.

- Neither does it lie.
- It looks fake.

No, man, I've seen them. They
are like these, uh, robots...

Look, look, look, it's fake. Anybody
can do it on any computer, okay?

And I wasn't, uh... there.

So I can't comment or speculate.

- Oh, no.
- "Comment and speculate"?

We're supposed to go habitate?

No, listen, okay. Don't
be sucking the sack, bro.

- Whose sack?
- Look, the ball sack.

- Dude, what kind of tool are you?
- Mainstream media sack.

They're lying to us, alright.

- It's aliens, man.
- Okay, okay.

Follow me.

Uh-oh. Uh, Leo. Bad
news, we just got scooped.

The video's already up on GeoBoard.

Damn... No!

Robo-Warrior has a main
competition, our conspiracy step.

Effing was my effing idea. He stole it.

He's been looking to my site
and thieving hits for ever!

By the way, I read your file.

I'm poor, you're poor...
We're gonna fix that, alright?

You work for me now.

I work for you now?

That's incredible.
It's first day of college,

I got a career, a dinky internet firm,

with a boss who is made up
of just pure champion stuff.

You're mocking my
life's work, Samuel? Huh?

That's your one warning patrolling, dude.

Don't make me that fast ***
'cause I'll do it.

Hey alright, listen. It's getting
a little intense in my room.

- Can I switch now?
- Oh, sad face, 3-12.

No switching, no treating. Let's
turn that mouth upside-down, okay?

- Oh, here we go.
- Hey, hi.

It's just like Hogwarts. Hi!

Is this co-ed? This is a co-ed dorm.

Do you guys want to meet my roommates?

- Yeah.
- 'Cause they're real swell guys.

- Here is Leo.
- We're the Witwicky.

- I'm Leo.
- I'm Judy.

Hey, you have a great son. You really do.

Oh, well aren't you the sweetest thing?

He's real sweet, Ma.

What is that in your hand, by the way?

Oh, I got this at the bake
sale for the environment

that those boys were having.

You know, you don't often see white boys

with the dreadlocks.

- Mom.
- Yeah, it's a 100 percent pure Hawaiian

- green for the environment.
- Jud--Can you please drop it?

Yeah, then they baked it with reefer in it.

- No, it's canna-- Hey!
- Please give me.

Hey! It's my cheap day.
I can eat whatever I want.

Please God, I'm gonna freak out.
Please do something right now, Dad.

- Please do something right now.
- Okay, okay.

Out of my way, you wild hair!

I can eat all the freaking brownies I want!

Sorry, fellas.

I'm sorry and you're welcome.

Oh my God... the house is on fire...

We call it the Hot Freshmen 55.

Sharsky hacked campus house and
stacked the dorm with pretty beddies.

Wow. Nice.

Oh, my God. It's her.

She's coming. She sees me, she sees me.

She's high for me on one on my to-do list.*

Do not bird-dog my credit, you hear me?*

Pretty girls.

Hey, you. My son lives in this dorm.

You should go make friends with him,

- he's bad.
- Bless she ain't my mama.

And he recently had his cherry popped.

He didn't know I was in the house.

- I heard it all.
- Hey, hey, hey.

There he is!

Oh, you might get into my closet
and dress up like boy spice.

Hey, and his car is a talking robot!

No, like a... like a GPS, All-Star.

- Okay.
- All-Star.

Frisbee. Whoo!

No, Dad.

Dad, you're just gonna
let her run around school.

- Are you alright?
- Whoa.

Give me.

Are you crazy?

Judy, Judy. Just--Just
put it- Just put it down.

You gotta control your mother.

I wasn't doing this.

Hey, Professor.
I'd do anything for an A.

Alright, Grace...

Looks like we got some
snacks in the car. Let's go.

- Whoo!
- Did you get the booties?

Yes, Dad, I got the booties!

- Alright, alright. - Oh
my God, I'm upside-down!

Black Light in X-Trait.
This is Black Light in Tango.

Breach in B-14.

Go, go, go, go, go!

The Shard is gone.

Take him down!

- Open fire.
- Get down!

The first frat party's
the game change of boys,

we're hunting in the wild
now, so get your game faces on.

I can't stay long, I have a
webcam date with my girlfriend.

- That's so cool.
- No, it's not.

[SONG: Burning Down The
House BAND: The Used]

While he's making up with his MacBook,

I'm gonna be dating my
spitzy, freaky freak on.

- Let's roll.
- She's hot.

We're, uh... We're hunting.

- See you, darling.
- Bye, Dad.

Okay.

This is our first live chat
date. Never done it before.

I'm kind of nervous.

- Are you okay?
- No, uh...

I was getting a napkin for my drink.

Thanks. Cheers!

- You're Sam, right?
- Yeah.

I wanna dance.

Like--like dancing?

Like a pairing? Like a duo, like a coupling?

'Cause I'm in a permanently, semi--

- I'm in a relationship, kind of.
- Oh, relax.

I just want to have some fun.

Oh, just some fun? Oh yeah, okay.

Let's play some checkers. You
can sit over there, and, uh...

- Oh my God.
- So how about tonight,

you pretend I'm your girlfriend and
I pretend that you're my boyfriend.

Hey! Who broke the frickin' yellow Camaro?

Huh? There's a car on the run.

[SONG: Burn It To The
Ground BAND: Nickleback]

What are you doing?

Houston, we have a problem.

- What is it?
- Freshman!

- Yeah.
- Is that your car on our bushes?

No, there's a friend of
mine who just went to a **

who went to get you a tighter shirt.

There isn't a tighter shirt. We checked.

Now how about I park my foot in your ass?

What size shoe do you wear?

- Yeah, oh, you ain't--
- Hold on, hold-- Whoa!

Are you--Are you trying?

I'm gonna back it up right now.

Get it out of here.

You have a ride?

Bro, why you holding onto us?

I've only known you 17 hours.

This is gonna really change our lives.

You have no idea.

I love Camaros.

- I can't do this right now, okay?
- Don't be a wimp.

Oh, God.

- My first car was my
Dad's '92 Z-28. - Yeah?

Fuel-injected.

The roar of the engine.
It just...tickles me.

We shouldn't, uh, stare...
I mean, share stories...

to each other at all.

Come on, Sam. Just one ride...

[SONG: Your Cheatin' Heart
ARTIST: Frank Williams]

[SONG: The Jaws Theme
COMPOSER: John Williams]

Don't. Don't.

[SONG: Super Freak ARTIST: Rick James]

Is your radio broke?

- No, my concentration
is-- - We're not cheating.

Not yet.

Something wrong here?

Ow! Oh, God! You okay?

I really don't know what to tell you,

this car-- It just has a lot of problems.

A lot of prob--

Oh, God. Oh, it's in my mouth. Oh...

Are you okay?

I got wetnaps. I got wetnaps for your face.

Hold on.

I'm so sorry!

What are you doing?

You won't give me a day, huh?

- You won't give me one day in college.
- I'm sorry, Sam.

But the last fragment of
the All-Spark was stolen.

Like what? Like Decepticon-stolen?

We placed it under human protection
at your government's request.

But I'm here for your help, Sam.

Because your leaders believed we
brought vengeance upon your planet.

Perhaps they are right.

That is why they must be
reminded by another human

of the trust we share.

- This isn't my war.
- Not yet.

But I fear it soon will be.

Your world must not share
the same fate as Cybertron.

Whole generations lost.

I know and I-I wanna help you. I do.

But I'm not some alien ambassador.

You know, I'm a normal
kid with normal problems.

I am where I'm supposed to be.

I'm sorry, I--

I really am.

Sam, fate rarely calls upon
us at a moment of our choosing.

You're Optimus Prime. You don't need me.

We do... more than you know.

North Atlantic, 07:13 AM

USS Topeka SSN-754

New contact, bearing
214 and possible hostile

confirmed for Project Beat Six drop-point.

- What you got?
- Sue, pull five contacts.

5,000 feet. Diving fast.

There's isn't anything that
dives that deep that fast.

- Man battle stations.
- Sealer One, man battle stations.

Helm, not pull rudder,
all ahead two-thirds.

Dive, go deep.

The NEST protecting
NBE-1 are screaming, sir.

That is 9,300 fathoms down.

- And no confirmed DSRVs on sight?
- None, sir.

Then, people, we've got a problem.

Kill such little one.

Sea shard, make Energon.

Prime sonar now holds six contacts
and they're coming up fast.

Man collisional arm ***

*** are 500 feet.

Let's get out of here.

Angel Six,

we got six hostiles coming up.

- Collision imminent.
Portside-- - 100 feet.

Brace for impact.

Starscream, I'm home.

Behold, Megatron, I was so relieved

to hear of your... resurrection.

You left me to die, you pathetic insect!

Only to help spawn our new army,

the Fallen decrees it,
after all, in your absence,

someone had to take command.

You...

are so disappointing.

Even in death, there's
no command but mine.

My master, I failed you on Earth.

The All-Spark is destroyed,

and without it, our race will perish.

You have much to learn, my disciple.

The Cube is merely a vessel.

It's power, it's knowledge
can never be destroyed.

It can only transform.

- How is that possible?
- It has been absorbed

by the human child.

The key to saving our race
now lies within his mind.

Well then, let me strip the
very flesh from his body.

And you will, my apprentice,

in time. For millennia, I
have dreamed of my return

to that wretched planet,
where I too was once betrayed

by the Primes I called my brothers.

Only a Prime can defeat me,
and now only one remains.

Optimus. He protects the boy.

Then the boy will lead us to him

and revenge will be ours.

Yes.

The boy will not escape us.
We have him in our sights.

Without more Energon,
hatchlings will keep dying.

Space, time, gravity.

- Thank you.
- Finish that for me.

We're going on a journey together,

you and I, today.

All you, eager nubile young minds
on the very cusp of adulthood.

And I shall be your consort, your guide,

your chaperone, into the heart of darkness.

Welcome to Astronomy 101.

For what do we know about the stars?

Virgo... the virgin.

Orion, the great hunter.

These are no mere twinkling diamonds

for lovely maidens to wish upon.

No, they are diamond,
filled with a throbbing,

savage and hemped-up energy.

Behold the work of Albert Einstein,

a professor once, like moi,

- energy, in its mass
temp-- - What are you doing?

Put your hand down, put your hand down.

Young man, there are no questions

until I've reached the climax of my lecture.

I've just finished your book.
There's only one problem:

Einstein's wrong.

Energy doesn't go mass
times velocity light square

in this dimension.
What about the other 17

while we're impossible to give 17?

A clear example:

Come on, guys, I can't
be the only one in class--

Young man, I will not be
punked in front of the dean.

No, this is my universe
here. Do you understand?

I am the Alpha and the Omega.

- Get out of my class.
- Yes, sir.

Any one else care to have
some sort of mental breakdown?

Hi, Bones. Hi!

Hi! Oh yes, that's a good boy.

Oh, what a good boy, you are.

Hey, Bones.

You hungry?

Here you go.

- Yes, Samuel.
- Hello? Mikaela.

I can't believe you're gonna stand
me up on our first web chat date.

Something just happened to me, okay?

- Wait, you finally hit puberty?
- No, no, no,

Stop laughing. This is serious.

Okay, remember I was telling you about

my great-great-grandfather,
Archibald Witwicky?

Do you remember?

Watch where you're supposed to go!

Okay, remember I was
telling you about, okay...

Can you stop... Watch
the foot! Watch your foot!

Mikaela, okay, my great-great-grandfather
went to this Arctic mission, right?

And he saw Megatron, Megatron zapped him

and he started seeing
these crazy symbols, okay.

Well, now I'm seeing them too. Excuse me.

I just read a 903-page
astronomy book at 32.6 seconds

and had a meltdown in
the middle of my class.

I am seeing symbols ever since I--

- Since what?
- Ever since I touched the Cube sliver.

Do you have it?

No, how about it's in
the shop safe? It's fine.

Mi--Mikaela, do not touch
it, okay? Don't touch it.

I'm not gonna touch it,

Sam, it's fine. It's locked
away, no one knows where it is.

But I do.

You're hot, but you're ain't too bright.

There we go.

Oh, big son of a bitch!

What are you looking at, Slobberpuss?

Ah, what the--

This is a fricking House of Horrors.

Hold on.

Is that the best you got, huh?

Is that the best you can do?

What are you doing here, you little freak?

Ow, that's my eye, you crazy bitch!

You gotta talk now?

I... I seek knowledge of the
Cube. The Fallen demands me.

What knowledge?

You got the shot, I need the shot,
give me the shot, I need the shot.

Give me the shot,
they're gonna whack me,

I'm gonna be dead without that shot.

Easy Warrior Goddess, I'm just
a little salvage scrap drone.

- Then I'm your worst nightmare.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Hey, hey!

- What the hell was that?
- I'll tell you later,

just not on open phone line, okay?

I'm gonna get on a plane right now.
I'll be there later this afternoon.

Just be careful, Sam.

And have any stranger giving you
anything suspicious to carry on today?

Yeah, a large box!

- No.
- Good.

Major, incoming SOS from Autobots.

Multiple Decepticon contacts in motion.
Vicinity eastern United States, sir.

- As in how many?
- Unclear, sir.

Well, get clear.

Autobots on the move.
Splitting into two teams, sir.

They're altering their course and they're
heading to New York and Philadelphia.

Full weapons deployment.
Wheels up in 20 minutes!

Flight Chairman throughout
West Beverly Hills.*

Alicia, mi amor (my love), can I interest
you in an 18 inch Zookeeper's Special?

Extra large double cheese with
every known animal as a topping.

Basically it's 18 inches of meat.

Oh, so you're a vegetarian.
Alright, it's cool. I am too.

Is Sam home?

Sam... I think he died
but... why don't we check?

- Here we are.
- Hey.

Have you ever had a
song stuck in your ears?

It's like the worst song
ever, but you can't help

whistle it or sing it.
It's like, repeats itself,

repeats itself, repeats itself,
repeats itself, repeats itself,

repeats itself... Kitten
calendar, kitten calendar,

- kitten calendar, kitten calendar,
- Dude,

- kitten calendar, kitten calendar,
- What the F?

I know you're freaking out.
Don't freak out, don't freak out.

Easy fix. Puzzle, code, in my
head. Now it's on the walls.

Everything is good.

This is the part that--

Okay, what were you saying?

Alice, I'm horrified you
had to see this. Let's go.

- Get out.
- What?

Wait, wait, wait.
C-Can I just sit and watch?

I-I'll eat my pizza quietly.

Sam, I knew there were
something special about you.

Really?

And I know you know what happens

when two people in the room get together...

they're genuinely amazing... in bed.

- Thank you.
- No problem.

Alright, listen, hold on.
Boundaries. Flight on the plane.

Okay, I'm very ticklish.

- You have the need, Sam. Relax!
- Why?

Oh, jeez!

Uh, what about this economy?
It's crazy, isn't it?

- You are very aggressive.
- Just relax.

You want some jerky meatloaf?

Sam?

S u B Z ~ V e R d i K T
[Kept to prevent duplicate files]

Mikaela.

Is that your girlfriend?

Ex.

Mikaela, wait... I can explain every--

Sam, your bed-buddy, Alice.

What--

- It's coming!
- This is an alien robot.

- You gotta move. Just run.
- They're real?

Oh my God, I can't believe I
once had sex with her in my dream.

I can tell that you really
missed me a lot, Sam.

Look, it's not my fault, okay?

Listen, listen. I'm a victim.

Oh, you were a victim? Of what?

- Of what? A little 80-pound girl--
- Of--Of...

It's like getting humped in
the neck by a mountain ox.

You didn't have to put
your tongue in her mouth.

- I didn't.
- You did.

Look, you ever had your stomach tounged
by a mountain ox with a 5-foot tong?

It's not fun for me, okay, Mikaela.

And it smelled like--like diesel.
Like a diesel. We didn't do it.

You're such a little girl.

You have ten seconds of silence, right now.

I'm not talking to you for ten seconds.

No, you can't give me the
silence. You know what?

I'm not talking to you for ten
seconds. You have three seconds left.

You know, what? You can
give me the silence you want,

all you want but you can't
give me the talking...

W-What were you gonna say?

I hope you had a lot of fun because this--

This is over!

Did she manage to get into

your mouth with that thing,
bro? She did it, she went in it?

There are some embryo aliens

...gestating inside of you.
You're going right now, bro.

You need to vomit right now.
Yak it, yak it.

- Right now!
- Who are you?

I am the only one ** speaks today, okay?

I'm the key to this.

The aliens, they want
me because of my site.

Whoa!

Run!

Mikaela!

Watch out. We get in.

It's a bomb!

We gotta get that box.

This way.

Hey, let me out, let me out!

Oh my God, you know to hot-wire a car?

- That's so hot.
- Drive, drive, drive.

She went there, she went there!

W-wait!

They can....

Cut, cut, cut.

Oh God!

Kiss this, bitch.

Drive, drive, drive,
drive, drive, drive.

Okay, so what else's
going right now, alright,

did you guys just mess
with the minor details?

The thing you saw back there
- that was a little babe.

Whoa! Oh my God! Oh my God!

Sam!

- Sam!
- Hold on!

Hold on.

Sam!

I don't want to die! We're
going to die! Oh my God!

Oh, Jesus! Oh, jeez!

Come here, boy.

Closer.

Okay.

- You remember me, don't you?
- I did what you said, okay?

- Just don't hurt us.
- Shut up!

Sam!

It feels good to grab your flesh.

I am going to kill you, slowly, painfully.

But first, we have some delicate work to do.

I could snap your limbs off.

Doctor, examine this alien specimen.

Sick of your face now.

Go that way.

A wormy that's crabby--

- Oh, there they are.
- That's what I'm seeing in my head.

These symbols can lead
us to the Energon source.

We must tear the brain!

Brain? What does he mean by my brain?

Well, you have something on your mind.

- Something I need.
- Hold on. I know you're pissed.

I know you're pissed.

Because I tried to kill you and
it's completely understandable.

Somebody tried to kill me, I'd be upset too.

I think that we have an opportunity here

to start a new and--and
develop our relationship,

and--and, see where it leads us, okay?

So you just call doctor off,

I'll let you talk in five seconds.

W-Wait...

Go, go.

Go, go, go.

Sam!

Go, go, go, go!

Here he comes!

Hide, Sam! Hide.

Weak.

Puny.

Voiced-up.

Junkyard drone.

Decepticons!

Come here, boy.

There is another source of
Energon hidden on this planet.

The boy can lead us to it.

Optimus!

Is the future of our race
not worth a single human life?

Op, get up!

You'll never stop at one.

I'll take you all alive.

Sam, where are you?

You are so weak.

At last, Prime is dead.

Sam, run.

Autobots, attack!

Bumblebee, get them out of here.

This is Lennox.

That went well.

Lost the boy, Master.

The Autobots must be
shielding the signals.

- I can't even rely on you.
- Sorry. No.

What a simple insect!

- What insect amongst
severed billion-- - Shut up.

It could be anywhere.

Then we will force them to find him for us.

It's time for the world
to know of our presence.

No more disguises, no mercy!

Time has come for my master's arrival.

Decepticons, mobilise.

It is time.

Oh, that single's good!

Speaking French is so exciting.

Oh God, who is this?

Hello-- I mean, uh,
bon--bonswa (good afternoon)!

What? Who is this?

Oh, for Pete's sakes.

I'm not impressed with your
perverted mouth breathing.

New York City

Oh, jeez.

You are invading my space.
I'm gonna have to drop you.

Would you get out of here?

Might freak me out.

We're gonna try new things.

Looks like Candian goosepoop.

It's nasty.

US Fleet 2, North Atlantic

That's fine, 1-2-5.

Revenge is mine.

Pentagon, Washington D.C.

...port accident for a
terrorist attack, or worse.

Negative. NORAD confirmed

the projectile came from
beyond our atmosphere,

inbound at 30,000 knot.

Citizens of the human hive,

your leaders have withheld the truth.

You are not alone in this universe.

We have lived among you, hidden...

but no more.

As you've seen,

we can destroy your cities at will.

Unless you turn over this boy.

If you resist us,

we will destroy
the world as you know it.

What we're hearing from the
German government is that

the world broadcast
is a satellite hacking.

NEST TEAM - NEW JERSEY
The military has just told us

NEST TEAM - NEW JERSEY
they have assumed Condition Delta,

which is the highest level
we've been at since 9/11.

President Obama is
being flown to a bunker

somewhere in the middle
of the United States.

in the phase of the worst
simultaneous attacks ever

around the globe.

The aircraft carrier USS Roosevelt
goes down off the East Coast.

All hands lost.

Worldwide casualties are in
the neighbourhood of 7,000,

but that number could implode.

It's still too early to tell.

What we need to ask now, is who and why.

The FBI is still trying to
locate the boy, Sam Witwicky.

Critically, they have
information about our case.

The FBI, CIA and Interpol

are all seeking the cooperation
of worldwide law enforcement.

Hey bro, you need to listen to this, man.

You gotta check this out.

Once they have a traffic camera
spotting of Sam Witwicky.

They have a picture of me, man.

We're dead, bro. FBI, CIA,
we're wanted fugitives now.

I just need you to focus
just one minute, man.

This thing is blowing to a
whole another level, alright.

- You know one thing--
- Remove this thing.

They can track us. Do you see this?

What?

They can track us?

Like satellite-track us?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay,
I'm not even with you guys.

Technically, I'm like a hostage.
This is kidnapping. Enough--

Yo, Leo!

This thing's gonna give
me a heart attack, I swear.

- That's 'cause you is a wuss.
- You did force me into the car, right?

- So...
- Oh, I think we scare you.

Hey, Mudflap.

What are we going to do
with this shrimp taco?

Just pop a cap in his
ass, throw him in the trunk

and nobody gonna know
nothing, y'know I mean?

- Wait, not in my trunk--
- Yo, bumper cars,

Check it out. I'm hearing you, okay?

I'm right here and I can hear you.

No one's popping any
caps in any asses, okay?

I've had a hell of a day.

Why don't you get a
haircut with your bitch ass?

Go whine to your boyfriend.

Listen Sam, I know
what I'm gonna do, man.

Look, I'm just going to
go to the authorities

and tell them the truth. Like
I had nothing to do with this,

- I'm an accomplice.
- Hey, hey!

You wanted this, right?
You wanted the real deal?

'Cause that's what this is. Wake
up! You're in the middle of it.

You wanna run, go ahead,
no one's stopping you.

Stop complaining.

What is the meaning of this?

You dare point your gun at me?

You want a piece of me?
I will tear you apart!

Drop your weapons! Drop your weapons!

- Tell them to lower the weapons.
- Tell them first.

- Tell them to lower the weapons!
- Major, there's nothing I can do.

Talk to him.

Your NEST team is deactivated, Major.

You are to cease
anti-Decepticon operations,

and return to Diego Garcia,
pending further orders.

No. We're taking our orders
directly from Chairman Morshower.

Well, I'll see your chairman
and the Joint Chiefs of Staff

but I will raise you a
President of the United States.

I have operational command now.

An alien blood feud has
been brought to our shores

for which our soldiers are paying the price.

The secret is out. This is our war now.

And we will win it as we always have,

with a coordinated military strategy.

This fool is terribly misinformed.

You're gonna get every
assets that you've got.

What we need is to draw our battle plans.

What we explore every
possible, diplomatic solution.

Like what, handing over the kid?

All options are being considered.

Whatever the Decepticons are after,

this is just the start.

Wait, there is no negotiating with them.

I'm ordering you to stand down.

You won't be needing this any more.

Get your assets back to base.

Take that pile of scrap
metal back to Diego Garcia.

Let's go.

I really don't like that dude.

He's an asshole.

Autobots, report to
hangar for transport.

Ironhide, we should leave this planet.

That's not what Optimus would want.

There's nothing that you could have done.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Bee, if you hate me, I understand.

I messed up.

I'm sorry.

Young fella, you are... the person
I care about most in my life.

If there's anything you
need, I won't be far away.

He's dead because of me.

He came in to protect
me and now he's dead.

There's some things you just can't change.

So this sacrifice was...

will not have been in vain, hallelujah!

We would make it right if I turn myself in.

But we, we've got to stick together.

You're not gonna do that.

Yes, I am.

Everything we worked for will be wiped out.

In one day.

- You two.
- Huh?

Hey, you know the glyphs?

The symbols that have been
rattling around in my head.

That's old school, yo.

That's like-- That's Cybertronian.

Oh, that's some serious stuff in there.

They gotta mean something,
like a message...

or, like a-- like a map!

Like a map to an Energon source.

Can you read this?

- Read? Nah.
- You see that?

No, we--we don't really do much reading.

Not so much.

Well if you can't read it, we
gotta find somebody who can.

Oh, look, who came sashaying back.

Hair grown like a chip, there, look it.**

I had a bit of a mild panic
attack earlier, alright?

That's 'cause you're a pussy.

I think I'm allowed that
considering what I've been through

and... I heard you have a problem.

I think I know someone who can help.

- Who?
- Robo-Warrior.

[SONG: New Divide BAND: Linkin Park]

This guy, Robo-Warrior...

Everything about anything
alien, he's supposed to know.

One time we hacked his site

and maybe, I saw some of your,
uh... alien drawings or whatever.

This is it.

Yep, deli. Good front.

Alright, wait here. I'll give
you the go/no go, alright?

Number 42, we got your
***combo right here.

Cash only. Who's next?

I told you...in the frying and then smoke it.

Ma, you want me to cut
my head off here or what?

- You order a terrible piece of fishing.
- I'm like a ninja, with a blade.

Get out of here!

Hey, Sam! Watch your reach, huh?

Take a number, young man.

Robo-Warrior.

Know him?

I never heard of him.

You must be talking about
that amateur blog operation

with GameBoy level security.

Robo-Warrior.

It's him. It's him!
That's the guy right there.

That's him.

No.

You gotta be kidding me.

Alright, meat store's closed. Everybody out!

Out, right now!

Wait a minute, you know this guy?

- We're old friends.
- Whoa, friend,

you are the case that shut down Sector 7.

Got the time-bash*** disbanded,

no more security clearance,
no retirement, no nothing.

All 'cause of you, and your
little criminal girlfriend.

Look at her now, so mature.

Moron, where's the white fresh?

Don't touch me with the thing.

- Yakov!
- What?

You don't get Christmas
bonus just standing around.

You want those new
teeth you saw in SkyMall?

- It's my dream.
- Help her out.

- You live with your momma?
- No, my momma lives with me,

it's a big difference.

They got your face all
over the news, alien boy.

Yeah, I know.

And NBE-1 (Megatron),
still kicking, huh?

How did that happen?

Don't answer. I don't
know what you're hiding,

but I don't want anything to do with it.

So, goodbye, you never saw
me. I got bagels to schmeer.

- Vanish!
- Well, give me 5 seconds.

Look, hold on, I need your help.

Really, you need my help?

I need--

Look, I am slowly losing my mind, okay?

I had a little Crab-bot who placed a device

deep into the soft tissues of my brain,

and started projecting little alien symbols

like a freaking whole movie

and on top of that,
I'm a wanted fugitive.

So you think you got it rough?

You said it projected images of your brain?

Right.

Meat locker, now!

- Dead pigs.
- Yuck.

What you're about to see is top secret.

Do not tell my mother.

Dead pigs, swine flu. Not good.

Now you know.

Next time, you eat a goat or a pig,

there's a story behind this.

Yeah, there's a story.

...you're saying
you believe in aliens?

Okay, files, files.

We're talking about symbols.

Hey! Still radioactive. Hands off.

Okay, Cube-brain.

Any of these look like
the symbols you saw?

Where did you get these?

Before I got fired,

[I scoured S-7's archives]

for 75 years of alien research
which points to one inescapable fact:

The Transformers; they've
been here a long, long time.

How do I know?

Archaeologists found
these unexplained markings

and ancient runes all over the world.

China, Egypt, Greece.

Shot at 1932.

These the symbols you're
seeing in your head?

- Yeah.
- Same ones over here, right?

So, tell me, how did they end
up all drawing the same thing?

Aliens.

And I think some of them stayed.

Check this out.

Project Black Knife.

Robots, in disguise. Hiding here.

All along.

We detected radioactive
signatures all across the country.

I pleaded on my knees
with S-7 to investigate it

but they said the readings
were infinitesimal.

That I was obsessed!

Me, can you imagine that?

Megatron said that there was
another Energon source here.

- On Earth? Another source?
- On Earth.

Okay, and that these symbols,

the maps in my head would lead him there.

Did you talk to your
Autobot friends about that?

No, no, no, the source is before them.

Whatever the Energon source is,
it predates them. It's before them.

- So it comes before that.
- Correct.

Well then we're [screwed].

Unless we can talk to a Decepticon.

I mean, I'm not on speaking
terms to one of them.

Actually, I am.

Let me out!

- It could be a little bit sad.
- Open it.

I'm gonna get so many
Decepticons on your butt!

Hey! Behave.

- What is it, a Decepticon?
- Yeah.

- Can you train him?
- Tried to.

I spent my whole adult life to
come up with one of the aliens,

- You're very furious-- -
And you're carrying it around

...and you carry one around
in your purse like a chihuahua.

You want a throw down,
you pubic fro-head?

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about your eye.

You know, but if you're a good boy,

then I'm not gonna torch your other eye.

Okay? I'm not gonna torch it.

Just tell me what these symbols are.

Please.

Okay.

Oh, I know that. That's
the language of the Primes.

I don't read it, but uh, these guys...

Where the frick did you
find photos of these guys?

- Is this them?
- Yeah.

Seekers, pal. Oldest of the old.

Oh, they've been here
for thousands of years,

looking for something.

I don't know what,
nobody tells me nothing.

Oh, they'll translate those symbols for ya.

And I know where to find them.

Show us.

Closest one's in Washington.

Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.

Land of dreams in there.

All I ever wanted to be was an astronaut.

- Hold those.
- What is that?

What?

I wear them when I'm in the funk.

So does Jeamby, Cheater.
It's a baseball thing.

Okay. Once you synchronize,
sharpen mind and empty bladder.

We're gonna make a break
for the beast on my command, okay?

You guys stick with me,
you understand?

You stay on my ass.

Watch out for orange smoke.

Hope these F-16s got good aim.

Yeah, why is that?

I told them to hit the orange smoke.

You mean our orange smoke?

It wasn't my best toss,
okay?

Viper, Thunder.

- Run!
- Run!

Incoming!

Come on.

Die!

Sam!

Hold your fire!

Sam!

Get out!
Get me an EVAC.

Can't you do something?

- Sam! Sam...
- Sam!

Come on, we got to move.
We got to move! Come on!

Administer CPR.

That's our son!
I wanna see my son.

Sammy!

Clear! Take a shot.
Clear! Take a shot.

One, two, three.

Do it again.

Sam!

Okay, listen to my voice.
I love you and I need you.

Please, please come back to me.
Sam, please! I love you!

Am I dead?

We have been watching you.
A long, long time.

You have fought for Optimus,

our last descendant,
with courage and with sacrifice.

The virtues of a leader.

A leader worthy of our secret.

The Matrix of Leadership is not found.

It is earned.

Return now to Optimus,

merge the Matrix with his Spark.

It is, and always has been,
your destiny.

Sam.

I love you.

Boy, you returned for me.

A living Prime!

I don't believe it.

My Matrix.

Get up, get up,
get up, get up.

Get up, Prime!

- Oh, no.
- He's turned on the machine.

You gotta stop him.
Get up!

Optimus!

Fallen, my master.

My brothers could not stop me from this.

- Yes.
- Now I claim your sun.

Enemy target,
top of pyramid.

Engage,
engage, engage.

In moments,
we'll be at firing strength.

In all my Decepticon life,

I never did a thing worth doing,
until now.

Optimus, take my parts.

And you'll have a power
you've never known.

Fulfill your destiny.

Jolt, electrify!
Transplant those afterburners.

Let's roll.

Fire. Take off to the pyramid!

This planet will be dark forever.

Die like your brothers.

They were your brothers too.

Starscream!

You picked the wrong planet!

Give me your face.

I rise.
You fall.

No. No.

Not to call you a coward,
Master, but sometimes

cowards do survive.

This isn't over.

It took all of this for you
to tell me that you love me.

You said it first.

Thank you, Sam,
for saving my life.

You're welcome.

Thank you for believing in me.

Our races united by a
history long forgotten

and a future we shall face together.

I am Optimus Prime,
and I send this message

so that our past
will always be remembered.

For in those memories,
we live on.

We're so glad you could join us,
Professor Einstein.

Yeah, I was kind of busy.

Okay.