Trailer Park Shark (2017) - full transcript
A tropical storm floods Soggy Meadows Trailer Park and forces a hungry shark upriver.
♪ Rooster crows, six o'clock ♪
♪ Horse needs grain,
hogs need slop ♪
♪ Sun's coming up,
you just laid down ♪
♪ Up all night milking the cow ♪
♪ Truck runs hot,
tractor won't crank ♪
♪ Loan turned down,
no money in the bank ♪
♪ Our blades keep bending,
fence needs mending ♪
♪ Cows got loose last week ♪
♪ He bought the farm,
cornbread and sweet tea ♪
♪ Rolling in the hay with
Ellie May and Daisy ♪
♪ Do a few chores in
the cool summer breeze ♪
♪ Whittle on a stick in
the front porch swing ♪
Well, the good news is
it turns out the
cable was long enough.
I owe you five.
Oh, keep your money, bud.
One of these days you'll learn.
Never doubt your uncle
or question good old redneck
ingenuity.
Maybe you should
run for office.
Are we talking presidential,
or principal's office?
Just don't screw this up.
Entire park's counting on
us to get 'em off the grid.
It's like you said,
ain't gonna survive
with DeConnard squeezing
every last dime
for basic living needs.
Well, if this works,
it'll be one heck of a bill
they can scratch off the list.
And speaking of scratch off,
I am feeling lucky
today.
That storm's
hunkering down fast.
I don't want you to
get your goose cooked
while you're under there.
No, it's safe.
The line won't go hot
till that windmill
picks up a pretty good clip.
Sure you know
what you're doing?
Electricity and water,
they don't mix too well.
You just hand me a ice
cold beer when I get back.
You hear me?
Now let's go plug it
in, get it fired up.
All right.
Holy hellfire.
Uncle Jeff.
All right, stop.
I'm in a crappier spot
than a port-a-potty
at a Mardi Gras parade.
Look, I don't mean to burn
that image into your head,
but I just want to convey to you
how deep in dung I
am at this moment.
All right.
Let's back up.
- That dog bit me right here!
- Were you drunk again?
If you don't stop
hittin' this like a girl--
Where's the fight?
Hey, Wyatt!
That's my money!
Go, Jack, go!
Hey!
You trying to ruin my hair?
I'm gonna get my gun.
You know I will, I
will take you out!
It all started with this
man, Malcolm DeConnard,
the richest, meanest
bastard I know.
He owns everything that
you've seen so far,
and he shakes us down on the
regular for all that we got.
But he's about to find out we
got a little fight left in us.
Get him, Rufus.
Oh hey
there, sugar britches.
Hey, Roxie.
Hey, you know my
washer's still broke,
and if you fix it for me,
I'd make it worth your while.
Listen, I told
you, I'm with Jolene.
I mean I can make it worth
her while or y'all's while.
All right, we'll
see.
No.
Well, ask her about it.
Hey, Sapphire.
Bird.
What's up, Rob?
Hey Rob.
You two at it again?
Yeah, we could always
use another hand.
He's not
my real brother though.
I told you I'd
get her up and running.
It's private time, Rob!
Hey, Rob, it is private time!
Go on, get!
- Cleon!
- Hey, Rob!
I got two racks of ribs.
Coming over later?
I wouldn't miss it.
All right, buddy.
Damn.
That smells good.
You already know, buddy.
Got that sauce going.
- Hey, Symphony.
- Hey, Rob.
Y'all quit messing
with that dog.
I wasn't!
I wasn't!
Cappy.
Nearly got that
thing patched up?
Yeah, just about ready to
tie her up and get her wet.
All right,
you keep working it.
I know, I'm late.
Your uncle's
already been by twice.
He mad?
He was
sweaty and cursing.
Well that don't tell
me much, now does it?
Had a job fall in
my lap.
Couldn't pass it up.
$100 closer to a new life.
Give me the money!
Get off her!
- I need more time.
- Get off her, you jerk!
I know, it's the
saddest thing I've ever heard.
Let go of the purse.
Damn.
Get him off of me.
- Get off her!
- I just need more time!
Get off of her!
Get off of her!
Stop.
No!
Everything all right?
This ain't none of
your business now, is it?
How much she need?
250.
You got your money.
You can go now.
Look at you, all fired up.
Guess every junkyard
needs a guard dog, huh?
Hey, for 250, I'll
fix that for ya.
350.
It's just been
a really hard month, Rob.
I just need more time.
It's all right.
Well, look who decided
to finally show up.
Had some
things to take care of.
Chet had some work for
me over at the shop.
I got some work
for you right here.
Yeah, but he pays me.
I pay you too.
I can't buy a house
with beer.
You got a house.
- Trailer ain't a house.
- Hmm.
Got a roof over your
head, don't you?
Got a kitchen to eat,
bed to fornicate.
Name one thing a house has
that a trailer won't offer.
Basement.
A basement.
Touche.
I ain't gonna live in
the park my whole life.
Well, it ain't where
are you are that matters.
It's what you are.
You like that, don't ya?
I can tell.
On the bottom of my bottle cap.
Real wise, them little
suckers.
Sure enough, let's
go to work.
I can't
get over that.
I oughta write that down.
Come on, boy!
Come on!
I can go all day,
Wyatt, let's do it!
What the hell's
going on out here?
Y'all like to fight?
I'll whoop both your behinds
and put a cherry on top.
This here is horse dung, Rufus.
Well he started it, Barb.
No, I mean what I just
stepped in, from your horse.
- Well that I do apologize for.
Now now, y'all, come on!
We're all neighbors!
We must speak of
love and kindness
as the good Lord instructed us.
Well, will the Lord
kindly instruct this jerknut
to pay his child support?
Come on, Barb, you know
that's not even my baby.
It was only one night.
You son of a bitch,
it was magical!
Oh, hell no!
I'll teach you to bear trap
my man with your coo-coo!
It's a little too late
for that, you drunk fish.
At least I don't go around
letting everybody tongue
punch my fart box.
That was one time!
What's this fight about?
Oh, nothin'.
Just dealing with Barb,
crotch-baiting men again.
Hey, you don't know me.
Money's been hard with
DeConnard gouging us.
I even tried to go
back to table dancing.
Well, Rob and his
Uncle Jeff are working
on getting a line
to that windmill.
Get us some good old
free electricity.
Should help us all out a little.
Well how's he gonna do that?
Something about running
a line under the water
all the way up to
the trailer park
and overriding that transformer.
All MacGyver-like!
- If you think that DeConnard's
gonna let your rebound boyfriend
swipe some free electricity
off of that windmill,
you're dumber than I look.
Shut up.
You think he can
actually do it?
I know they can.
When Rob and I first
started dating,
he fixed the air
conditioner in my car.
This here park's energy
will be off the grid
and as green as the cash
we'll all be saving.
Them two short bus regulars
can barely tap a keg,
let alone an entire
power supply.
Amen.
Rufus, what's that?
Hey!
Give me my hat!
Y'all, knock it off already!
- That cable ain't long enough.
It damn sure ain't gonna
reach the connecting line.
I bet you
five bucks it'll stretch
a whole lot further
than you think it will.
I know what I'm doing, Rob.
I didn't just fall
off a turnip truck.
♪ Down to the bayou ♪
That new turbine
the county built
is practically begging us to
tap into the kinetic energy
and power up Soggy Meadows.
Whoa, kinetic.
That's a big word.
Well, you know what they say
about a man and his big words.
He's compensating
for the size of his cable?
Yeah.
Boss.
I don't think you should
be smoking that close
to this much ammonium nitrate.
This fertilizer bomb goes off,
it's gonna make a crater
the size of Cleveland.
Well just make
it powerful enough
to obliterate the entire van,
'cause we can't have
a shred of evidence
linking us back to it.
- I still don't see how blowing
that levee's gonna be easier
than just telling
all them chillbillies
to get off your lot.
Because all those
low-lifes have rights by law,
whether they pay
the rent or not.
They could squat
that land for a year
before I could get the cops
to do anything about 'em,
and I ain't gonna wait no year.
You know my ex still
lives over there, ya?
Well not for long, 'cause
when that levee breaks
and that water floods in,
only thing that's gonna be
living there are my drills.
That wasteland is just
ripe for the picking.
Listen, when that
storm rolls in,
people gonna run around
scared like crazy,
and when that storm rolls out,
it's gonna look like
a natural disaster.
In a few weeks,
everybody's gonna forget
what Soggy Meadows ever was.
♪ Rooster crows, six o'clock ♪
Yep, here
come the clouds.
Right on cue.
Weatherman finally got
something right for a change.
Why are you driving
like an idiot?
If this thing goes off,
we're gonna make one
hell of a meat cloud.
It'll only
go off with the timer.
But once we set it, it ain't
meant to be turned off, so.
I'm not getting paid
enough for this nonsense.
You gettin' paid?
Yep.
♪ Loan turned down,
no money in the bank ♪
♪ Our blades keep bending,
fence needs mending ♪
♪ Cows got loose last week ♪
♪ He bought the farm,
cornbread and sweet tea ♪
♪ Rolling in the hay with
Ellie May and Daisy ♪
♪ Do a few chores ♪
Well good news is, turns
out the cable was long enough.
I owe you five.
Oh, keep your money, bud.
One of these days you'll learn,
never doubt your uncle
or question good old
redneck ingenuity.
Hey.
You know, maybe we should just
wait and let it hit the fan.
You crazy?
I'm not getting stuck in this
mud when that storm hits.
I'm setting it now.
What should I set it for?
Depends on how
fast you can run.
Faster than your ass!
Now how long?
Hell, I don't know.
Four minutes.
You got it?
Set, go!
Aww hell!
The license plate.
I said leave no trace.
Son of a bitch!
Idiot!
Go get it.
No.
If that van traces
back to DeConnard,
take a wild guess what's
gonna happen to you.
Now go get it.
- Hurry up.
- Shut up!
Let's go!
Stop.
Stop talking.
Nah, it's safe.
That line won't go
hot 'til that windmill
picks up a pretty good clip.
Sure you know
what you're doing?
You just have me
an ice cold beer
when I get back, you hear me?
Get fired up.
Hurry up, man!
Shut up.
I got it!
Uncle Jeff.
Uncle Jeff?
Help!
Help!
Hello?
Help!
Hey man,
are you with me?
Take a breath.
What happened?
Did I blow a cable?
Or something?
It wasn't you.
The levee got blasted.
On purpose, by the looks of it.
Who in their right mind
would do something like that?
I saw someone
running away from it.
I could've swore--
What the
hell?
We gotta get you
outta the water!
What is it?
Help!
No!
Uncle Jeff!
Daisy!
Daisy!
Help, Rufus!
Rufus, help!
I'm stuck!
Jolene?
I'm stuck, I'm
inside my trailer!
Rufus!
You hold tight now.
I need a rope or something.
Come on, Duke!
Come on, boy!
Come on!
Grab the rope!
All right, climb to the
top of the roof now!
I'm gonna pull now!
I'm out!
Thank you.
I gotta find Daisy.
What?
Rufus, Shark!
Look out, 12:00!
No, no, six.
Six!
Uh, nine?
Hey, no, no, over there.
It's you and I, Duke.
You and I.
Oh.
Oh, no!
My Duke!
Not my Duke!
Duke, Duke...
No, Duke.
Rufus, it's your turn
to climb, I gotcha.
Grab the rope.
He ate my Duke.
Hey, look at me.
Look at me!
You saved my life,
you and Duke, you saved my life.
Okay, look at me, look at me.
You're a hero, Rufus.
Focus on that.
You saved my life.
Gene Autry woulda
been proud, huh?
That's right,
she really woulda.
Help!
Help me!
I gotta get outta here, Lord.
You can't kill me!
I'm one of the good ones!
You can take the rest,
just don't take me!
We heard that, ya jerk.
Praise the Lord!
Help me, y'all!
Help me get outta here!
Try to climb on
your roof through the vent!
I can't fit!
Try using your
front door, then!
Rufus, you know I
ain't got no door.
Hold tight, Cleon.
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
You said, "You can take the
rest, just don't take me."
Thanks a lot, buddy.
Some holy roller you
turned out to be.
Come on now.
You know I didn't mean it.
Staring death
straight in the face
does strange things to a man!
Please don't take it personally.
Where's everyone else at?
Their trailers!
They're all gone!
They washed away.
And Dukey?
She's gone.
- Oh, Lord!
- No, no, they're here.
Somewhere.
Yeah, you have to have faith.
Oh, I got faith.
Hey!
Hey!
Lots of
people are dead!
Who?
Like that hot mess.
What about Jolene?
Probably.
The whole of Soggy
Meadows is underwater.
Well yeah, the
levee got destroyed.
Ya think?
- I gotta get back to the park.
Well get in!
Come on!
Look at them arms, damn.
Mm.
How is that possible?
How did that thing survive?
I hit it with like 10,000 volts,
I thought for sure it was fried.
You ever heard
of an electric eel?
Yeah?
You ever tried my eel sauce?
What?
Oh, yes sir.
Them electric eels
are seven feet long.
Five times the charge of a
three pronged wall socket.
Dirty as hell.
Well how much charge do you
think a 20 foot shark got?
Enough to
jumpstart your trunk.
That's for sure.
That's a damn shame.
Fire!
Rat bastard!
Go out, shoo!
Come on, come on, come get me!
- I'm coming!
- Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Use that muscle!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Jump!
Now!
There goes our ride.
Sorry, Rob.
I'm just
glad you're okay.
That was--
Cappy?
Y'all, this ain't working,
they're really
stuck under there.
Well then pull harder on it.
If I had a dollar for every
time I heard Rufus say that.
This damn roof is slipperier
than that one summer
in Panama City.
I'm so glad I grabbed you
instead of Grandma's pearls.
She would not want me to be
sober through all this nonsense.
Look, why don't you just
go over to Daisy's trailer
and help her pull?
- I'm not getting on any
trailer with that dirty liberal.
- Am not.
- Bitches.
How in the world
did this happen?
Global warming.
- Let's swim for it.
- Are you kidding me?
I'm not dangling a single
toe into that water
where the gators and the
moccasins get to 'em.
Nope.
Nobody invited you,
you dingle-berry,
I wasn't even talking to you.
Well y'all go ahead,
I hope you drown.
I'm sure somebody will
be by soon to rescue me.
Will they?
Come on.
I can't go anywhere
'til we find Buck Vegas.
Damn dog was next to me one
second and gone the next.
Bucky's a smart pup.
I'm sure he's high
and dry somewhere.
Animals have sort
of a sixth sense
for that kind of
thing, you know?
You're right.
When that giant tsunami wave
thing hit over in Mayonnaisia,
all the animals were
already long gone.
High-tailed it to
the nearest hills.
All right.
He's probably chilling
safe somewhere.
It's Malaysia, by the way.
Bucky!
I'm gonna kill
whoever did this.
We blew it, just
like you wanted.
Water rushed right
into your property.
Nicely done.
But there, there's
was one minor issue.
We lost Bruno in the process.
He blew up with the van.
- Blew up?
- Uh huh.
Completely?
Or are there little parts
of him floating around
so somebody can identify
him as an employee of mine?
Oh no.
He pretty much
vaporized on the spot.
Good.
But, there is one little
problem.
I--
- Out with it, dammit!
I think somebody saw me.
That piece of ash trash
who's dating my Jolene.
He rode up on his wave
runner when the levee blew.
Oh.
Is that right?
A witness.
Well that's that
small little problem
you probably should
have mentioned earlier.
I'm gonna tell you a story
you probably never heard.
I used to have three
partners, once upon a time.
Let's just call 'em
Huey, Dewey, and Louie.
Now, they thought
it'd be a swell idea
to go behind my back and
acquire majority shares
of the company that we started.
It was a textile company,
delivering animal hides
to clothing stores
all over the world.
Like alligator, snake, ostrich,
for purses and shoes and so on.
I didn't like taking a
financial hit like that,
so I fixed it.
Like I always do.
Like I asked you to do.
Whoa, whoa, boss.
- You fixed it so some low-life
trailer park runny meat sack
could point at my
furry little ass
and put me in jail for
the rest of my life.
No, sir.
From where I'm sitting,
my perspective is
you might have some
more work to do.
I understand.
And when
are you gonna do it?
Right now.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
I'm putting out a contract
on that witness of yours,
and I'm hiring you to
execute it, or him.
Man up and kill somebody!
Or I'll do it.
Am I clear?
Crystalline, yes, sir.
Hey, boss?
Those three business
partners of yours,
the ones you was
telling me about.
Whatever happened to them?
Come here.
Let's just say I put 'em
to better use.
I'll fix it.
Just perfect.
As if there wasn't
enough going on.
Dammit, how am I gonna...
Yeah, that was dumb.
Right.
Ah!
Gold old redneck ingenuity.
My Uncle Jeff would be proud.
I think.
Bucky!
Bucky!
Bucky!
What are you doing?
It's for when the rescue
planes fly overhead.
What the hell is a SOT?
Save our trailer.
Bucky?
It's the Buck-meister!
Look at him Snoopy-ing it up.
Man that boy's good.
I'm gonna get him.
How exactly you plan
on doing that, huh?
I don't know, swim?
I just seen a tail or something
slipping between the trees
over there, I gotta save him.
Bucky, you son of a bitch,
just hold on, I'm coming.
Y'all just keep an eye
out for snakes or gators
and holler loud as
hell if you see one.
We best be praying the
Coast Guard gets here soon.
Whoa.
- Look.
- No way.
- Wyatt, hurry up, bro, a shark!
Oh, hell no.
Bucky!
I'm coming, dude!
Bucky!
Hurry!
It's gonna get you, don't stop!
Hurry, faster!
- Swim!
- Ow, darn it.
Why'd he stop?
Wyatt, what's wrong?
You got a cramp
or something, honey?
I think he's in shock.
You gotta get outta the water.
Bucky!
Just a little bit more.
You got it!
Darn it.
♪ You know you such a ho ♪
♪ You know ♪
♪ You know you such a ho ♪
Is this real life?
Oh, I just got
shocked real bad.
We must be on top of that
underwater power line.
Wyatt, snap out of it.
Oh my god!
You some of a bitch!
Sweet Reba, that
really just happened!
You shoulda seen yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Billie Jean.
What you doing all
the way down here?
One minute I be watching
Showcase Showdown,
and the next thing I know I
been swept here by the water.
Everyone okay?
You seen what happened to Jo?
I haven't seen a soul
since things got biblical.
I'm just sitting here catching
whatever comes my way.
Look.
One man's tragedy is
another man's treasure.
That looks real nice.
Hey, that's my watch.
You want it?
Yeah.
20 bucks.
My grandpa gave me that
watch before he died.
Ah, so it's something
real special to you.
Yeah, sure is.
50.
- All right, I'll tell you what.
How about I don't make
any fuss about the watch
if you lend me that oar.
What do you say?
For old time's sake?
You got yourself a deal.
It's a pleasure doing
business with you.
Hey, I'm gonna go
down to the park,
see if anyone needs any help.
You wanna come?
Nah.
This is like Christmas.
All right, you
be safe, you hear?
There's a shark swimming
in these waters.
A shark here?
The weatherman said
nothing about a tornado.
How much for that gun?
This one?
Whoa whoa whoa!
Whiskey tango foxtrot, don't
point that thing at me,
I said I wasn't
gonna make no fuss.
Come on now.
I'm just funnin' with ya.
Here.
You can have it.
Thank you, Billie Jean.
You be safe.
Bye.
♪ La la la la la la la ♪
You keep on rowing.
Go save those people.
Woo hoo, baby!
Look at this place,
Curls, it's all washed up.
Genius this one, boss.
This needs to be the
end of this trailer park.
- Understood?
- Yes sir.
And if we find anyone
left alive, fix 'em.
Unless it's my ex.
I got special plans for her.
And if that's bitch boy she
tried to replace me with,
I got even special-er
plans for him.
Ooh, I like that.
Yes sirree!
Woo!
Come on now.
Jo!
Rob?
Oh, thank God.
Woo hoo!
Yeah!
- He's alive!
- Hey, partner!
Sweet Jesus, he's
come to save us, y'all.
Woo!
Are you all right?
I am now.
Aren't you a sight
for sore eyes.
I thought maybe the
flood washed you away
or something worse.
Oh yeah yeah yeah,
some of us were.
Have you found any others?
You know, what about
Daisy, you seen her?
No man.
Sorry.
Come a little closer,
I'm gonna jump down
and give you the
kiss of a lifetime.
You hold that
thought, darling.
There's a shark in these waters
and that son of a
bitch is pissed off.
Yeah, we believe it.
And we seen it.
He ate my Dukey.
And my Uncle Jeff, too.
But he ain't no run
of the mill shark.
It's got issues,
electrical ones.
Look, I don't think
my boat's big enough
for all four of us,
I think it's best
if we just stay up here
on top of these trailers,
wait for some choppers
to come rescue us.
I mean, do they even
know this is going on?
Right?
I mean all the power lines
are down and I guarantee it
nobody's paid their damn
cell phone bills this month.
We ain't seen a
single rescue team.
No boat, no plane, nothing.
It's like they don't even
know the levee broke.
Oh, it wasn't broke.
- It was blowed up.
- What?
By who?
Golden
Bullet, come in.
Golden Bullet, come in.
This is Golden Bullet.
What do you have?
It's wiped out here.
Good.
No sign of any
surviving tenants.
I've never seen
anything like this.
Just make
sure my cleanup operation
can start right away.
Copy that.
Hey, I'll come by
later on the boat
and survey that damage.
Echo One out.
Jackpot.
Dammit.
Holy grits.
Come and get it!
You're the next contestant
on the Price is Right!
Woo!
Woo hoo hoo, baby!
Woo hoo hoo, baby!
- Well well, what have we here?
The lone survivor.
Where are the others, Daisy?
I don't know.
Get me the hell
off of this thing.
Why, so I could
take you up to the bar
and you can drink all my beer?
Nah, I'm all good on that.
Where's the others, bitch?
Dead.
They're all dead.
Even Jolene?
I don't know what
happened to Jolene.
We got separated when
the wave came through.
Who's all dead?
Barb and Wyatt at least.
There's a great white
coming through here,
if you haven't
noticed, got 'em both.
Shark in the park?
That's a first.
Now get me the
hell outta here,
and onto dry land.
Just not to a dry county.
You heard her boys.
Let's get her off of there, huh?
Open wide, bitch!
Swayze!
What the hell happened to you?
You used to be one of us.
I took some advice.
I got outta that
low-life country club.
You shoulda done the same
while you still had a
chance, Daisy Cakes.
Been real nice knowing ya.
Aww, did we
get you wet, Daisy Cakes?
Make sure she doesn't
make it back to dry land.
Of any county.
Have fun!
I saw Swayze walking
away after the explosion.
In fact, I caught him on camera.
That son of a bitch did this.
That makes sense.
Swayze's been doing
DeConnard's dirty work.
I'll kill him when I see him!
Of course DeConnard's
behind all this.
Why wouldn't he be?
He's been wanting us
off his land for years.
Look like he finally
got his wish, huh?
Oh wait man.
You say you got Swayze
on camera, right?
Well, where's the footage?
In the belly of that shark.
But he ate my Go-Pro,
and my ska-do.
That's a good thing, though.
But I love that ska-do!
Oh no, no, the camera's in
a waterproof casing, you see?
You see sharks have a
slow digestive tract.
Don't ask me why I know that,
but it's still there, right?
You kill the fish,
retrieve the camera,
and not only do we get
revenge on the shark,
we get revenge on
DeConnard as well.
Yeah.
We'll put that no good,
butt-packing, silly slapping,
deep digging trailer
swamping Soggy Meadows
son of a motherless
goat away for good.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute,
are you out actually suggesting
we give a great white
a reverse colonoscopy?
Yeah!
Good luck with that one.
I thought
it was a good idea.
For who?
I knew it.
Are you ready yet?
Woo!
Here we go!
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Who sleeps in a trailer
park flooded with mud ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Skanky and danky
and drunk is she ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ The trailer park is
all soggy and washed ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Then drown in the water
'cause you're not a fish ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants,
Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Daisy ♪
♪ Skankpants ♪
They say sharks
can smell blood
from three dang miles away.
You gonna die!
Woo!
Baby!
And it's good!
Sharky, sharky,
shark!
Shouldn't be long now!
Yeah, man, but it's
beer-thirty, and I'm late.
Think I can kill her?
Hold on!
It won't be long from now.
If a shark's in these parts
it'll smell the blood.
Yeah, I guess that
would be a helluva show.
Hell yeah it will,
and we won't even
have to hide the body!
You make a good point.
Whoa!
Hey!
Come on, baby!
Mine too.
Whatcha doin'?
Get her, Curls!
Go stick her like a dirty pig!
What happened?
Why'd the hell you stop?
Come on, man.
Juke and jive baby!
Get her!
Oh, come on, Sally Tuna!
Why does that
smell so delicious?
DeConnard Holdings,
how may I direct your call?
Sally, ya, it's Malcolm.
Listen, I just got some news
that the levee around
my trailer property
had some severe damage
and there's some
floodin' in the area.
So, I'm thinkin' that the
people in that region,
they're gonna be needin' food
and supplies and whatnot.
So here's what I want you to do,
I want ya to call all my outlets
and raise the
prices on everything
from hardware to groceries.
Golden
Bullet, come in!
Hold on!
Yes, sir.
No, Sally, not you.
And gas too?
Yes, and gas too.
Listen, this is supply
meets demand, Sally.
Supply meets demand.
Golden
Bullet, come in!
Ya?
What do you have?
Survivors.
Survivors?
And a
shark, apparently.
And a shark?
Must've washed
in from the ocean.
They said they got video
proof of me at the scene,
destroying the levee.
Video?
Listen up,
you need to get that
video and take care of it.
He said the shark
at the damn camera.
Well, good.
Then it's already taken care of.
Well, they
plan to hunt the shark
and retrieve it.
They seem pretty
determined to take us down.
Retrieve it?
Listen to me.
No one leaves this thing alive.
No fish or human.
That includes your
little girlfriend, too.
Am I clear?
I have it covered.
Covered, my ass.
Bitch-ass amateurs.
Need someone killed,
you do it your damn self.
How we gonna go about
huntin' a great white shark?
I mean, we have a rubber raft,
three drowned trailers,
and duct tape.
- Duct tape?
- Duct tape!
I like duct tape.
Ya, me too.
But how do we go about
achieving that level of win?
You catch a shark like you
would any other fish, partner.
With bait.
Okay.
How we gonna go
about gettin' bait
in the middle of a damn crisis?
I don't know.
I got a big bloody rib
marinatin' in my refrigerator.
Would that work?
You say bloody?
Bloody, baby!
Hell, yeah!
Now we're cookin'!
But how you gonna
go about hookin' it?
Well...
You got duct tape.
That's a good point.
With the winch hitch
off my old skiff.
Yeah, somehow, we
get that damn thing
to lock a bite off of that hook.
Tie it off to some chain
and wrap it around
Daisy's beer kegs.
That'll tire him out real quick.
Yeah?
Just like them yellow
barrels that Quint done used.
That's not a bad idea.
Slows him down, tires him out.
He can't keep on swimmin',
then he can't breathe.
You count me in.
This is
for the big brown Dukey!
For your Dukey.
I gotcha, I gotcha.
Come on, yeah.
All right,
all right.
You know, if this is gonna work,
these things are gonna
have to be drained.
Hey, Cleon, why don't you get
started on freein' those ribs.
I'll work on these.
This one's for you, Uncle Jeff.
This one's for all
my dead honkies.
Oh, Daisy ain't
gonna like that.
All right.
I don't know what the
hell I was thinkin'.
If the good Lord wanted me
to go back down in
that murky death trap,
he probably woulda blessed
me with a nice set of gills.
You see any rescue
teams comin' to save us?
No.
Heard any choppers?
No!
Then I reckon we're gonna
have to be our own heroes,
which faithfully includes you.
So get the meat.
I hate to see a good
rack of ribs go to waste.
Ain't no waste.
That rack of ribs gonna
save our damn lives.
And when we get that fish,
we're gonna filet us
up some shark steaks.
How about that?
Does shark go good
with mustard and relish?
You're damn right it does!
Now buck up, Cleon!
I'm goin' in!
I'm in!
Oh, man.
Everything is ruined.
It's a damn shame.
Oh, man.
Um, you're not doin'
what I think you're doin'.
Yeah.
I'm goin' in, darlin'.
Gotta untie my winch hitch
- and get some chains.
- Goodness gracious, Rufie.
- Please be careful.
- I will.
Ya, I got her.
No I don't!
That coulda
been more graceful.
Hittin' the gas straight
off the tank, huh, baby?
We need you sharp to
pull this off now.
Don't forget to save
some for the rest of us.
Huh.
I guess this is what I missed
by not goin' to college, huh?
You just get us
outta here in one piece
and I'll show you
what else you missed
by not going to college.
That's what she said.
Woo!
Hey, Jolene.
Anything happens to me,
you be sure and tell my
second cousin I love her.
You do that for me?
You have my word.
I'm goin' in.
Kegs are drunk, I'm empty.
Oh, bacon.
Got you!
Got that ass!
Hey, y'all!
I got 'em.
Somebody give me a hand!
Whoa!
What
the hell was that?
Sweet Jesus!
Holy, Shark!
He lays me beside still waters.
Established himself
upon the flood,
and established
himself in the sea.
No, no, no!
Stop!
I can't get my hair wet!
Cleon?
I got it, man!
Rob, where are you?
- All right, Rufus, I'm coming!
I'm right here, man.
I'm right here!
Hey, we gotta get outta here.
That shark is still hungry, man.
Where's
Cleon with the meat?
- Well the ribs are right there.
I don't think
Cleon made it, man.
- Oh, no!
- And neither will we
unless we get back
up on that trailer.
Come on.
Rufus!
Aw, come back here
man, we need you!
This was your plan!
Rufie, no!
Damn it!
Yee-haw!
I'm skiin' behind
my shark, Dukey!
Yee-haw!
John Wayne never did this!
Eat your heart out, Eastwood!
Yee-haw!
You tell him I'm
comin', Dukey,
and hell's comin' with me.
You hear?
And hell's comin' with me!
You gotta
get out of that boat!
That thing's gonna kill you too!
I'm not gonna let
them die in vain.
But if you die,
that's it, game over.
Get out of the water now!
I got this.
Don't you dare get yourself
killed, do you hear me?
I love you, Rob.
I love you too, darlin'.
That's why I'm doing this.
It worked!
Chew on that, you bastard!
It worked!
I can't believe it worked.
You hooked that son of a bitch.
Good old redneck ingenuity.
I think I peed a
little bit though.
Kinda warm.
Daisy Cakes.
Still need a ride?
Get on.
It ain't a request.
Rob, you gotta
get out of there!
He's comin' back around.
Where are you going?
I don't know!
He's coming for ya!
You gotta climb, baby!
Rob, watch out!
Dammit, Rob!
- Did you see that?
- Pretty hard not to.
No, the chain.
What about it?
All right, watch this.
What in the hell
are you doin', Rob?
I'm going fishing.
He's comin' again.
- I want him to.
- Are you crazy?
Or just stupid.
It's a fine line.
For trailer park and country!
Yes!
It worked!
You're a genius.
Or just lucky.
It's a fine line.
Rob!
Rob!
Well.
Look what we have here.
I think it's time to take
out the trailer trash.
You heartless bastard!
You're getting everyone
killed, for what?
Money?
What can I say?
It's a shark-eat-shark
world, sweet tea.
But you and your kind,
you are nothin' but
a waste o' life.
You are one step away
from being on the street.
And you expectin' me to pay
for your room and board?
Not anymore.
You know, I would love
to kill you myself,
but I have a better idea.
I'd rather watch
that shark eat you.
Start paddlin'!
Paddle!
Go!
Paddle!
Paddle!
Come on now.
Paddle!
Paddle!
Paddle!
Keep paddlin'!
Kick those little feet, darlin'.
Don't make me use this.
You're gettin' warm.
Almost there.
Atta girl.
You're finished.
Man, they're gonna
love you in prison.
Rob, help!
Stay down, you
dumb-ass hillbilly!
You're right where you belong,
'cause all you're ever gonna be
is a no-good,
worthless trailer rat.
You shoulda come work for
me when you had the chance.
I'd have gotten you
out of this dump.
It's not where you
are that matters,
it's what you are.
And right now, I'm
the one with the gun.
You ain't gonna shoot me.
You wanna bet?
Well,
once again, it seems the
tide has turned in my favor.
You had to go get
my man on video
blowin' the place
up, didn't you?
And somehow the shark eats it?
I don't know who
I'm gonna enjoy killin' more,
that shark or both of you.
How 'bout I get you mounted.
I'll hang you up
over the fireplace.
What do you think about--
Hey!
Hey!
What?
He deserved that.
That's one fickle tide.
Uh oh.
- Oh, no.
- Let's get out of here!
What are you waiting for?
Go!
Well, I have an idea.
You're really gonna
double-down now?
We leave and he gets
loose of that line,
what he does to other
folks is gonna be on us.
Ah, hell.
Why don't you grab
that rope, okay?
You lasso that chum guzzler.
We'll drag him up onto dry land.
We'll watch him
suffocate, slowly.
And then we'll get the Go-Pro.
Why?
DeConnard is dead.
Well, people still
need to know what he did.
All right, all right.
If there's one thing
I learned from Rufus,
it's how to swing a rope.
When he teach you that?
Got it!
Woo, come on!
Hit it!
- Yippee ki-yay, futher mucker.
Hell ya!
You're doin' it!
Ya, we're doin' it.
We're not doin' it.
Givin' it all she got!
Look out!
The cleat's not gonna hold!
Duck!
Watch out!
I'm gonna keep us drier
than a popcorn fart.
No friggin' way.
You're the luckiest
son of a bitch I know!
Luck ain't got
nothing to do with it.
My Go-Pro!
- Son of a bitch!
- Dammit!
Hey!
You let her go!
Daisy?
I'm okay.
She's okay.
Well,
that's one way to get
rid of an old boyfriend.
Can you move?
Uh huh.
I'm gonna get my Go-Pro.
I got it!
Woo!
Ya, baby!
And that,
ladies and gents,
is how I learned
to stop worrying
and love the trailer park.
It might not look like much,
but it's everything to us.
It's home.
Well, to what's left of us.
♪ Horse needs grain,
hogs need slop ♪
♪ Sun's coming up,
you just laid down ♪
♪ Up all night milking the cow ♪
♪ Truck runs hot,
tractor won't crank ♪
♪ Loan turned down,
no money in the bank ♪
♪ Our blades keep bending,
fence needs mending ♪
♪ Cows got loose last week ♪
♪ He bought the farm,
cornbread and sweet tea ♪
♪ Rolling in the hay with
Ellie May and Daisy ♪
♪ Do a few chores in
the cool summer breeze ♪
♪ Whittle on a stick in
the front porch swing ♪
Well, the good news is
it turns out the
cable was long enough.
I owe you five.
Oh, keep your money, bud.
One of these days you'll learn.
Never doubt your uncle
or question good old redneck
ingenuity.
Maybe you should
run for office.
Are we talking presidential,
or principal's office?
Just don't screw this up.
Entire park's counting on
us to get 'em off the grid.
It's like you said,
ain't gonna survive
with DeConnard squeezing
every last dime
for basic living needs.
Well, if this works,
it'll be one heck of a bill
they can scratch off the list.
And speaking of scratch off,
I am feeling lucky
today.
That storm's
hunkering down fast.
I don't want you to
get your goose cooked
while you're under there.
No, it's safe.
The line won't go hot
till that windmill
picks up a pretty good clip.
Sure you know
what you're doing?
Electricity and water,
they don't mix too well.
You just hand me a ice
cold beer when I get back.
You hear me?
Now let's go plug it
in, get it fired up.
All right.
Holy hellfire.
Uncle Jeff.
All right, stop.
I'm in a crappier spot
than a port-a-potty
at a Mardi Gras parade.
Look, I don't mean to burn
that image into your head,
but I just want to convey to you
how deep in dung I
am at this moment.
All right.
Let's back up.
- That dog bit me right here!
- Were you drunk again?
If you don't stop
hittin' this like a girl--
Where's the fight?
Hey, Wyatt!
That's my money!
Go, Jack, go!
Hey!
You trying to ruin my hair?
I'm gonna get my gun.
You know I will, I
will take you out!
It all started with this
man, Malcolm DeConnard,
the richest, meanest
bastard I know.
He owns everything that
you've seen so far,
and he shakes us down on the
regular for all that we got.
But he's about to find out we
got a little fight left in us.
Get him, Rufus.
Oh hey
there, sugar britches.
Hey, Roxie.
Hey, you know my
washer's still broke,
and if you fix it for me,
I'd make it worth your while.
Listen, I told
you, I'm with Jolene.
I mean I can make it worth
her while or y'all's while.
All right, we'll
see.
No.
Well, ask her about it.
Hey, Sapphire.
Bird.
What's up, Rob?
Hey Rob.
You two at it again?
Yeah, we could always
use another hand.
He's not
my real brother though.
I told you I'd
get her up and running.
It's private time, Rob!
Hey, Rob, it is private time!
Go on, get!
- Cleon!
- Hey, Rob!
I got two racks of ribs.
Coming over later?
I wouldn't miss it.
All right, buddy.
Damn.
That smells good.
You already know, buddy.
Got that sauce going.
- Hey, Symphony.
- Hey, Rob.
Y'all quit messing
with that dog.
I wasn't!
I wasn't!
Cappy.
Nearly got that
thing patched up?
Yeah, just about ready to
tie her up and get her wet.
All right,
you keep working it.
I know, I'm late.
Your uncle's
already been by twice.
He mad?
He was
sweaty and cursing.
Well that don't tell
me much, now does it?
Had a job fall in
my lap.
Couldn't pass it up.
$100 closer to a new life.
Give me the money!
Get off her!
- I need more time.
- Get off her, you jerk!
I know, it's the
saddest thing I've ever heard.
Let go of the purse.
Damn.
Get him off of me.
- Get off her!
- I just need more time!
Get off of her!
Get off of her!
Stop.
No!
Everything all right?
This ain't none of
your business now, is it?
How much she need?
250.
You got your money.
You can go now.
Look at you, all fired up.
Guess every junkyard
needs a guard dog, huh?
Hey, for 250, I'll
fix that for ya.
350.
It's just been
a really hard month, Rob.
I just need more time.
It's all right.
Well, look who decided
to finally show up.
Had some
things to take care of.
Chet had some work for
me over at the shop.
I got some work
for you right here.
Yeah, but he pays me.
I pay you too.
I can't buy a house
with beer.
You got a house.
- Trailer ain't a house.
- Hmm.
Got a roof over your
head, don't you?
Got a kitchen to eat,
bed to fornicate.
Name one thing a house has
that a trailer won't offer.
Basement.
A basement.
Touche.
I ain't gonna live in
the park my whole life.
Well, it ain't where
are you are that matters.
It's what you are.
You like that, don't ya?
I can tell.
On the bottom of my bottle cap.
Real wise, them little
suckers.
Sure enough, let's
go to work.
I can't
get over that.
I oughta write that down.
Come on, boy!
Come on!
I can go all day,
Wyatt, let's do it!
What the hell's
going on out here?
Y'all like to fight?
I'll whoop both your behinds
and put a cherry on top.
This here is horse dung, Rufus.
Well he started it, Barb.
No, I mean what I just
stepped in, from your horse.
- Well that I do apologize for.
Now now, y'all, come on!
We're all neighbors!
We must speak of
love and kindness
as the good Lord instructed us.
Well, will the Lord
kindly instruct this jerknut
to pay his child support?
Come on, Barb, you know
that's not even my baby.
It was only one night.
You son of a bitch,
it was magical!
Oh, hell no!
I'll teach you to bear trap
my man with your coo-coo!
It's a little too late
for that, you drunk fish.
At least I don't go around
letting everybody tongue
punch my fart box.
That was one time!
What's this fight about?
Oh, nothin'.
Just dealing with Barb,
crotch-baiting men again.
Hey, you don't know me.
Money's been hard with
DeConnard gouging us.
I even tried to go
back to table dancing.
Well, Rob and his
Uncle Jeff are working
on getting a line
to that windmill.
Get us some good old
free electricity.
Should help us all out a little.
Well how's he gonna do that?
Something about running
a line under the water
all the way up to
the trailer park
and overriding that transformer.
All MacGyver-like!
- If you think that DeConnard's
gonna let your rebound boyfriend
swipe some free electricity
off of that windmill,
you're dumber than I look.
Shut up.
You think he can
actually do it?
I know they can.
When Rob and I first
started dating,
he fixed the air
conditioner in my car.
This here park's energy
will be off the grid
and as green as the cash
we'll all be saving.
Them two short bus regulars
can barely tap a keg,
let alone an entire
power supply.
Amen.
Rufus, what's that?
Hey!
Give me my hat!
Y'all, knock it off already!
- That cable ain't long enough.
It damn sure ain't gonna
reach the connecting line.
I bet you
five bucks it'll stretch
a whole lot further
than you think it will.
I know what I'm doing, Rob.
I didn't just fall
off a turnip truck.
♪ Down to the bayou ♪
That new turbine
the county built
is practically begging us to
tap into the kinetic energy
and power up Soggy Meadows.
Whoa, kinetic.
That's a big word.
Well, you know what they say
about a man and his big words.
He's compensating
for the size of his cable?
Yeah.
Boss.
I don't think you should
be smoking that close
to this much ammonium nitrate.
This fertilizer bomb goes off,
it's gonna make a crater
the size of Cleveland.
Well just make
it powerful enough
to obliterate the entire van,
'cause we can't have
a shred of evidence
linking us back to it.
- I still don't see how blowing
that levee's gonna be easier
than just telling
all them chillbillies
to get off your lot.
Because all those
low-lifes have rights by law,
whether they pay
the rent or not.
They could squat
that land for a year
before I could get the cops
to do anything about 'em,
and I ain't gonna wait no year.
You know my ex still
lives over there, ya?
Well not for long, 'cause
when that levee breaks
and that water floods in,
only thing that's gonna be
living there are my drills.
That wasteland is just
ripe for the picking.
Listen, when that
storm rolls in,
people gonna run around
scared like crazy,
and when that storm rolls out,
it's gonna look like
a natural disaster.
In a few weeks,
everybody's gonna forget
what Soggy Meadows ever was.
♪ Rooster crows, six o'clock ♪
Yep, here
come the clouds.
Right on cue.
Weatherman finally got
something right for a change.
Why are you driving
like an idiot?
If this thing goes off,
we're gonna make one
hell of a meat cloud.
It'll only
go off with the timer.
But once we set it, it ain't
meant to be turned off, so.
I'm not getting paid
enough for this nonsense.
You gettin' paid?
Yep.
♪ Loan turned down,
no money in the bank ♪
♪ Our blades keep bending,
fence needs mending ♪
♪ Cows got loose last week ♪
♪ He bought the farm,
cornbread and sweet tea ♪
♪ Rolling in the hay with
Ellie May and Daisy ♪
♪ Do a few chores ♪
Well good news is, turns
out the cable was long enough.
I owe you five.
Oh, keep your money, bud.
One of these days you'll learn,
never doubt your uncle
or question good old
redneck ingenuity.
Hey.
You know, maybe we should just
wait and let it hit the fan.
You crazy?
I'm not getting stuck in this
mud when that storm hits.
I'm setting it now.
What should I set it for?
Depends on how
fast you can run.
Faster than your ass!
Now how long?
Hell, I don't know.
Four minutes.
You got it?
Set, go!
Aww hell!
The license plate.
I said leave no trace.
Son of a bitch!
Idiot!
Go get it.
No.
If that van traces
back to DeConnard,
take a wild guess what's
gonna happen to you.
Now go get it.
- Hurry up.
- Shut up!
Let's go!
Stop.
Stop talking.
Nah, it's safe.
That line won't go
hot 'til that windmill
picks up a pretty good clip.
Sure you know
what you're doing?
You just have me
an ice cold beer
when I get back, you hear me?
Get fired up.
Hurry up, man!
Shut up.
I got it!
Uncle Jeff.
Uncle Jeff?
Help!
Help!
Hello?
Help!
Hey man,
are you with me?
Take a breath.
What happened?
Did I blow a cable?
Or something?
It wasn't you.
The levee got blasted.
On purpose, by the looks of it.
Who in their right mind
would do something like that?
I saw someone
running away from it.
I could've swore--
What the
hell?
We gotta get you
outta the water!
What is it?
Help!
No!
Uncle Jeff!
Daisy!
Daisy!
Help, Rufus!
Rufus, help!
I'm stuck!
Jolene?
I'm stuck, I'm
inside my trailer!
Rufus!
You hold tight now.
I need a rope or something.
Come on, Duke!
Come on, boy!
Come on!
Grab the rope!
All right, climb to the
top of the roof now!
I'm gonna pull now!
I'm out!
Thank you.
I gotta find Daisy.
What?
Rufus, Shark!
Look out, 12:00!
No, no, six.
Six!
Uh, nine?
Hey, no, no, over there.
It's you and I, Duke.
You and I.
Oh.
Oh, no!
My Duke!
Not my Duke!
Duke, Duke...
No, Duke.
Rufus, it's your turn
to climb, I gotcha.
Grab the rope.
He ate my Duke.
Hey, look at me.
Look at me!
You saved my life,
you and Duke, you saved my life.
Okay, look at me, look at me.
You're a hero, Rufus.
Focus on that.
You saved my life.
Gene Autry woulda
been proud, huh?
That's right,
she really woulda.
Help!
Help me!
I gotta get outta here, Lord.
You can't kill me!
I'm one of the good ones!
You can take the rest,
just don't take me!
We heard that, ya jerk.
Praise the Lord!
Help me, y'all!
Help me get outta here!
Try to climb on
your roof through the vent!
I can't fit!
Try using your
front door, then!
Rufus, you know I
ain't got no door.
Hold tight, Cleon.
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!
You said, "You can take the
rest, just don't take me."
Thanks a lot, buddy.
Some holy roller you
turned out to be.
Come on now.
You know I didn't mean it.
Staring death
straight in the face
does strange things to a man!
Please don't take it personally.
Where's everyone else at?
Their trailers!
They're all gone!
They washed away.
And Dukey?
She's gone.
- Oh, Lord!
- No, no, they're here.
Somewhere.
Yeah, you have to have faith.
Oh, I got faith.
Hey!
Hey!
Lots of
people are dead!
Who?
Like that hot mess.
What about Jolene?
Probably.
The whole of Soggy
Meadows is underwater.
Well yeah, the
levee got destroyed.
Ya think?
- I gotta get back to the park.
Well get in!
Come on!
Look at them arms, damn.
Mm.
How is that possible?
How did that thing survive?
I hit it with like 10,000 volts,
I thought for sure it was fried.
You ever heard
of an electric eel?
Yeah?
You ever tried my eel sauce?
What?
Oh, yes sir.
Them electric eels
are seven feet long.
Five times the charge of a
three pronged wall socket.
Dirty as hell.
Well how much charge do you
think a 20 foot shark got?
Enough to
jumpstart your trunk.
That's for sure.
That's a damn shame.
Fire!
Rat bastard!
Go out, shoo!
Come on, come on, come get me!
- I'm coming!
- Come on!
Come on!
Come on!
Use that muscle!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Jump!
Now!
There goes our ride.
Sorry, Rob.
I'm just
glad you're okay.
That was--
Cappy?
Y'all, this ain't working,
they're really
stuck under there.
Well then pull harder on it.
If I had a dollar for every
time I heard Rufus say that.
This damn roof is slipperier
than that one summer
in Panama City.
I'm so glad I grabbed you
instead of Grandma's pearls.
She would not want me to be
sober through all this nonsense.
Look, why don't you just
go over to Daisy's trailer
and help her pull?
- I'm not getting on any
trailer with that dirty liberal.
- Am not.
- Bitches.
How in the world
did this happen?
Global warming.
- Let's swim for it.
- Are you kidding me?
I'm not dangling a single
toe into that water
where the gators and the
moccasins get to 'em.
Nope.
Nobody invited you,
you dingle-berry,
I wasn't even talking to you.
Well y'all go ahead,
I hope you drown.
I'm sure somebody will
be by soon to rescue me.
Will they?
Come on.
I can't go anywhere
'til we find Buck Vegas.
Damn dog was next to me one
second and gone the next.
Bucky's a smart pup.
I'm sure he's high
and dry somewhere.
Animals have sort
of a sixth sense
for that kind of
thing, you know?
You're right.
When that giant tsunami wave
thing hit over in Mayonnaisia,
all the animals were
already long gone.
High-tailed it to
the nearest hills.
All right.
He's probably chilling
safe somewhere.
It's Malaysia, by the way.
Bucky!
I'm gonna kill
whoever did this.
We blew it, just
like you wanted.
Water rushed right
into your property.
Nicely done.
But there, there's
was one minor issue.
We lost Bruno in the process.
He blew up with the van.
- Blew up?
- Uh huh.
Completely?
Or are there little parts
of him floating around
so somebody can identify
him as an employee of mine?
Oh no.
He pretty much
vaporized on the spot.
Good.
But, there is one little
problem.
I--
- Out with it, dammit!
I think somebody saw me.
That piece of ash trash
who's dating my Jolene.
He rode up on his wave
runner when the levee blew.
Oh.
Is that right?
A witness.
Well that's that
small little problem
you probably should
have mentioned earlier.
I'm gonna tell you a story
you probably never heard.
I used to have three
partners, once upon a time.
Let's just call 'em
Huey, Dewey, and Louie.
Now, they thought
it'd be a swell idea
to go behind my back and
acquire majority shares
of the company that we started.
It was a textile company,
delivering animal hides
to clothing stores
all over the world.
Like alligator, snake, ostrich,
for purses and shoes and so on.
I didn't like taking a
financial hit like that,
so I fixed it.
Like I always do.
Like I asked you to do.
Whoa, whoa, boss.
- You fixed it so some low-life
trailer park runny meat sack
could point at my
furry little ass
and put me in jail for
the rest of my life.
No, sir.
From where I'm sitting,
my perspective is
you might have some
more work to do.
I understand.
And when
are you gonna do it?
Right now.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
I'm putting out a contract
on that witness of yours,
and I'm hiring you to
execute it, or him.
Man up and kill somebody!
Or I'll do it.
Am I clear?
Crystalline, yes, sir.
Hey, boss?
Those three business
partners of yours,
the ones you was
telling me about.
Whatever happened to them?
Come here.
Let's just say I put 'em
to better use.
I'll fix it.
Just perfect.
As if there wasn't
enough going on.
Dammit, how am I gonna...
Yeah, that was dumb.
Right.
Ah!
Gold old redneck ingenuity.
My Uncle Jeff would be proud.
I think.
Bucky!
Bucky!
Bucky!
What are you doing?
It's for when the rescue
planes fly overhead.
What the hell is a SOT?
Save our trailer.
Bucky?
It's the Buck-meister!
Look at him Snoopy-ing it up.
Man that boy's good.
I'm gonna get him.
How exactly you plan
on doing that, huh?
I don't know, swim?
I just seen a tail or something
slipping between the trees
over there, I gotta save him.
Bucky, you son of a bitch,
just hold on, I'm coming.
Y'all just keep an eye
out for snakes or gators
and holler loud as
hell if you see one.
We best be praying the
Coast Guard gets here soon.
Whoa.
- Look.
- No way.
- Wyatt, hurry up, bro, a shark!
Oh, hell no.
Bucky!
I'm coming, dude!
Bucky!
Hurry!
It's gonna get you, don't stop!
Hurry, faster!
- Swim!
- Ow, darn it.
Why'd he stop?
Wyatt, what's wrong?
You got a cramp
or something, honey?
I think he's in shock.
You gotta get outta the water.
Bucky!
Just a little bit more.
You got it!
Darn it.
♪ You know you such a ho ♪
♪ You know ♪
♪ You know you such a ho ♪
Is this real life?
Oh, I just got
shocked real bad.
We must be on top of that
underwater power line.
Wyatt, snap out of it.
Oh my god!
You some of a bitch!
Sweet Reba, that
really just happened!
You shoulda seen yourself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Billie Jean.
What you doing all
the way down here?
One minute I be watching
Showcase Showdown,
and the next thing I know I
been swept here by the water.
Everyone okay?
You seen what happened to Jo?
I haven't seen a soul
since things got biblical.
I'm just sitting here catching
whatever comes my way.
Look.
One man's tragedy is
another man's treasure.
That looks real nice.
Hey, that's my watch.
You want it?
Yeah.
20 bucks.
My grandpa gave me that
watch before he died.
Ah, so it's something
real special to you.
Yeah, sure is.
50.
- All right, I'll tell you what.
How about I don't make
any fuss about the watch
if you lend me that oar.
What do you say?
For old time's sake?
You got yourself a deal.
It's a pleasure doing
business with you.
Hey, I'm gonna go
down to the park,
see if anyone needs any help.
You wanna come?
Nah.
This is like Christmas.
All right, you
be safe, you hear?
There's a shark swimming
in these waters.
A shark here?
The weatherman said
nothing about a tornado.
How much for that gun?
This one?
Whoa whoa whoa!
Whiskey tango foxtrot, don't
point that thing at me,
I said I wasn't
gonna make no fuss.
Come on now.
I'm just funnin' with ya.
Here.
You can have it.
Thank you, Billie Jean.
You be safe.
Bye.
♪ La la la la la la la ♪
You keep on rowing.
Go save those people.
Woo hoo, baby!
Look at this place,
Curls, it's all washed up.
Genius this one, boss.
This needs to be the
end of this trailer park.
- Understood?
- Yes sir.
And if we find anyone
left alive, fix 'em.
Unless it's my ex.
I got special plans for her.
And if that's bitch boy she
tried to replace me with,
I got even special-er
plans for him.
Ooh, I like that.
Yes sirree!
Woo!
Come on now.
Jo!
Rob?
Oh, thank God.
Woo hoo!
Yeah!
- He's alive!
- Hey, partner!
Sweet Jesus, he's
come to save us, y'all.
Woo!
Are you all right?
I am now.
Aren't you a sight
for sore eyes.
I thought maybe the
flood washed you away
or something worse.
Oh yeah yeah yeah,
some of us were.
Have you found any others?
You know, what about
Daisy, you seen her?
No man.
Sorry.
Come a little closer,
I'm gonna jump down
and give you the
kiss of a lifetime.
You hold that
thought, darling.
There's a shark in these waters
and that son of a
bitch is pissed off.
Yeah, we believe it.
And we seen it.
He ate my Dukey.
And my Uncle Jeff, too.
But he ain't no run
of the mill shark.
It's got issues,
electrical ones.
Look, I don't think
my boat's big enough
for all four of us,
I think it's best
if we just stay up here
on top of these trailers,
wait for some choppers
to come rescue us.
I mean, do they even
know this is going on?
Right?
I mean all the power lines
are down and I guarantee it
nobody's paid their damn
cell phone bills this month.
We ain't seen a
single rescue team.
No boat, no plane, nothing.
It's like they don't even
know the levee broke.
Oh, it wasn't broke.
- It was blowed up.
- What?
By who?
Golden
Bullet, come in.
Golden Bullet, come in.
This is Golden Bullet.
What do you have?
It's wiped out here.
Good.
No sign of any
surviving tenants.
I've never seen
anything like this.
Just make
sure my cleanup operation
can start right away.
Copy that.
Hey, I'll come by
later on the boat
and survey that damage.
Echo One out.
Jackpot.
Dammit.
Holy grits.
Come and get it!
You're the next contestant
on the Price is Right!
Woo!
Woo hoo hoo, baby!
Woo hoo hoo, baby!
- Well well, what have we here?
The lone survivor.
Where are the others, Daisy?
I don't know.
Get me the hell
off of this thing.
Why, so I could
take you up to the bar
and you can drink all my beer?
Nah, I'm all good on that.
Where's the others, bitch?
Dead.
They're all dead.
Even Jolene?
I don't know what
happened to Jolene.
We got separated when
the wave came through.
Who's all dead?
Barb and Wyatt at least.
There's a great white
coming through here,
if you haven't
noticed, got 'em both.
Shark in the park?
That's a first.
Now get me the
hell outta here,
and onto dry land.
Just not to a dry county.
You heard her boys.
Let's get her off of there, huh?
Open wide, bitch!
Swayze!
What the hell happened to you?
You used to be one of us.
I took some advice.
I got outta that
low-life country club.
You shoulda done the same
while you still had a
chance, Daisy Cakes.
Been real nice knowing ya.
Aww, did we
get you wet, Daisy Cakes?
Make sure she doesn't
make it back to dry land.
Of any county.
Have fun!
I saw Swayze walking
away after the explosion.
In fact, I caught him on camera.
That son of a bitch did this.
That makes sense.
Swayze's been doing
DeConnard's dirty work.
I'll kill him when I see him!
Of course DeConnard's
behind all this.
Why wouldn't he be?
He's been wanting us
off his land for years.
Look like he finally
got his wish, huh?
Oh wait man.
You say you got Swayze
on camera, right?
Well, where's the footage?
In the belly of that shark.
But he ate my Go-Pro,
and my ska-do.
That's a good thing, though.
But I love that ska-do!
Oh no, no, the camera's in
a waterproof casing, you see?
You see sharks have a
slow digestive tract.
Don't ask me why I know that,
but it's still there, right?
You kill the fish,
retrieve the camera,
and not only do we get
revenge on the shark,
we get revenge on
DeConnard as well.
Yeah.
We'll put that no good,
butt-packing, silly slapping,
deep digging trailer
swamping Soggy Meadows
son of a motherless
goat away for good.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute,
are you out actually suggesting
we give a great white
a reverse colonoscopy?
Yeah!
Good luck with that one.
I thought
it was a good idea.
For who?
I knew it.
Are you ready yet?
Woo!
Here we go!
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Who sleeps in a trailer
park flooded with mud ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Skanky and danky
and drunk is she ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ The trailer park is
all soggy and washed ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Then drown in the water
'cause you're not a fish ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Daisy Skankpants,
Daisy Skankpants ♪
♪ Daisy ♪
♪ Skankpants ♪
They say sharks
can smell blood
from three dang miles away.
You gonna die!
Woo!
Baby!
And it's good!
Sharky, sharky,
shark!
Shouldn't be long now!
Yeah, man, but it's
beer-thirty, and I'm late.
Think I can kill her?
Hold on!
It won't be long from now.
If a shark's in these parts
it'll smell the blood.
Yeah, I guess that
would be a helluva show.
Hell yeah it will,
and we won't even
have to hide the body!
You make a good point.
Whoa!
Hey!
Come on, baby!
Mine too.
Whatcha doin'?
Get her, Curls!
Go stick her like a dirty pig!
What happened?
Why'd the hell you stop?
Come on, man.
Juke and jive baby!
Get her!
Oh, come on, Sally Tuna!
Why does that
smell so delicious?
DeConnard Holdings,
how may I direct your call?
Sally, ya, it's Malcolm.
Listen, I just got some news
that the levee around
my trailer property
had some severe damage
and there's some
floodin' in the area.
So, I'm thinkin' that the
people in that region,
they're gonna be needin' food
and supplies and whatnot.
So here's what I want you to do,
I want ya to call all my outlets
and raise the
prices on everything
from hardware to groceries.
Golden
Bullet, come in!
Hold on!
Yes, sir.
No, Sally, not you.
And gas too?
Yes, and gas too.
Listen, this is supply
meets demand, Sally.
Supply meets demand.
Golden
Bullet, come in!
Ya?
What do you have?
Survivors.
Survivors?
And a
shark, apparently.
And a shark?
Must've washed
in from the ocean.
They said they got video
proof of me at the scene,
destroying the levee.
Video?
Listen up,
you need to get that
video and take care of it.
He said the shark
at the damn camera.
Well, good.
Then it's already taken care of.
Well, they
plan to hunt the shark
and retrieve it.
They seem pretty
determined to take us down.
Retrieve it?
Listen to me.
No one leaves this thing alive.
No fish or human.
That includes your
little girlfriend, too.
Am I clear?
I have it covered.
Covered, my ass.
Bitch-ass amateurs.
Need someone killed,
you do it your damn self.
How we gonna go about
huntin' a great white shark?
I mean, we have a rubber raft,
three drowned trailers,
and duct tape.
- Duct tape?
- Duct tape!
I like duct tape.
Ya, me too.
But how do we go about
achieving that level of win?
You catch a shark like you
would any other fish, partner.
With bait.
Okay.
How we gonna go
about gettin' bait
in the middle of a damn crisis?
I don't know.
I got a big bloody rib
marinatin' in my refrigerator.
Would that work?
You say bloody?
Bloody, baby!
Hell, yeah!
Now we're cookin'!
But how you gonna
go about hookin' it?
Well...
You got duct tape.
That's a good point.
With the winch hitch
off my old skiff.
Yeah, somehow, we
get that damn thing
to lock a bite off of that hook.
Tie it off to some chain
and wrap it around
Daisy's beer kegs.
That'll tire him out real quick.
Yeah?
Just like them yellow
barrels that Quint done used.
That's not a bad idea.
Slows him down, tires him out.
He can't keep on swimmin',
then he can't breathe.
You count me in.
This is
for the big brown Dukey!
For your Dukey.
I gotcha, I gotcha.
Come on, yeah.
All right,
all right.
You know, if this is gonna work,
these things are gonna
have to be drained.
Hey, Cleon, why don't you get
started on freein' those ribs.
I'll work on these.
This one's for you, Uncle Jeff.
This one's for all
my dead honkies.
Oh, Daisy ain't
gonna like that.
All right.
I don't know what the
hell I was thinkin'.
If the good Lord wanted me
to go back down in
that murky death trap,
he probably woulda blessed
me with a nice set of gills.
You see any rescue
teams comin' to save us?
No.
Heard any choppers?
No!
Then I reckon we're gonna
have to be our own heroes,
which faithfully includes you.
So get the meat.
I hate to see a good
rack of ribs go to waste.
Ain't no waste.
That rack of ribs gonna
save our damn lives.
And when we get that fish,
we're gonna filet us
up some shark steaks.
How about that?
Does shark go good
with mustard and relish?
You're damn right it does!
Now buck up, Cleon!
I'm goin' in!
I'm in!
Oh, man.
Everything is ruined.
It's a damn shame.
Oh, man.
Um, you're not doin'
what I think you're doin'.
Yeah.
I'm goin' in, darlin'.
Gotta untie my winch hitch
- and get some chains.
- Goodness gracious, Rufie.
- Please be careful.
- I will.
Ya, I got her.
No I don't!
That coulda
been more graceful.
Hittin' the gas straight
off the tank, huh, baby?
We need you sharp to
pull this off now.
Don't forget to save
some for the rest of us.
Huh.
I guess this is what I missed
by not goin' to college, huh?
You just get us
outta here in one piece
and I'll show you
what else you missed
by not going to college.
That's what she said.
Woo!
Hey, Jolene.
Anything happens to me,
you be sure and tell my
second cousin I love her.
You do that for me?
You have my word.
I'm goin' in.
Kegs are drunk, I'm empty.
Oh, bacon.
Got you!
Got that ass!
Hey, y'all!
I got 'em.
Somebody give me a hand!
Whoa!
What
the hell was that?
Sweet Jesus!
Holy, Shark!
He lays me beside still waters.
Established himself
upon the flood,
and established
himself in the sea.
No, no, no!
Stop!
I can't get my hair wet!
Cleon?
I got it, man!
Rob, where are you?
- All right, Rufus, I'm coming!
I'm right here, man.
I'm right here!
Hey, we gotta get outta here.
That shark is still hungry, man.
Where's
Cleon with the meat?
- Well the ribs are right there.
I don't think
Cleon made it, man.
- Oh, no!
- And neither will we
unless we get back
up on that trailer.
Come on.
Rufus!
Aw, come back here
man, we need you!
This was your plan!
Rufie, no!
Damn it!
Yee-haw!
I'm skiin' behind
my shark, Dukey!
Yee-haw!
John Wayne never did this!
Eat your heart out, Eastwood!
Yee-haw!
You tell him I'm
comin', Dukey,
and hell's comin' with me.
You hear?
And hell's comin' with me!
You gotta
get out of that boat!
That thing's gonna kill you too!
I'm not gonna let
them die in vain.
But if you die,
that's it, game over.
Get out of the water now!
I got this.
Don't you dare get yourself
killed, do you hear me?
I love you, Rob.
I love you too, darlin'.
That's why I'm doing this.
It worked!
Chew on that, you bastard!
It worked!
I can't believe it worked.
You hooked that son of a bitch.
Good old redneck ingenuity.
I think I peed a
little bit though.
Kinda warm.
Daisy Cakes.
Still need a ride?
Get on.
It ain't a request.
Rob, you gotta
get out of there!
He's comin' back around.
Where are you going?
I don't know!
He's coming for ya!
You gotta climb, baby!
Rob, watch out!
Dammit, Rob!
- Did you see that?
- Pretty hard not to.
No, the chain.
What about it?
All right, watch this.
What in the hell
are you doin', Rob?
I'm going fishing.
He's comin' again.
- I want him to.
- Are you crazy?
Or just stupid.
It's a fine line.
For trailer park and country!
Yes!
It worked!
You're a genius.
Or just lucky.
It's a fine line.
Rob!
Rob!
Well.
Look what we have here.
I think it's time to take
out the trailer trash.
You heartless bastard!
You're getting everyone
killed, for what?
Money?
What can I say?
It's a shark-eat-shark
world, sweet tea.
But you and your kind,
you are nothin' but
a waste o' life.
You are one step away
from being on the street.
And you expectin' me to pay
for your room and board?
Not anymore.
You know, I would love
to kill you myself,
but I have a better idea.
I'd rather watch
that shark eat you.
Start paddlin'!
Paddle!
Go!
Paddle!
Paddle!
Come on now.
Paddle!
Paddle!
Paddle!
Keep paddlin'!
Kick those little feet, darlin'.
Don't make me use this.
You're gettin' warm.
Almost there.
Atta girl.
You're finished.
Man, they're gonna
love you in prison.
Rob, help!
Stay down, you
dumb-ass hillbilly!
You're right where you belong,
'cause all you're ever gonna be
is a no-good,
worthless trailer rat.
You shoulda come work for
me when you had the chance.
I'd have gotten you
out of this dump.
It's not where you
are that matters,
it's what you are.
And right now, I'm
the one with the gun.
You ain't gonna shoot me.
You wanna bet?
Well,
once again, it seems the
tide has turned in my favor.
You had to go get
my man on video
blowin' the place
up, didn't you?
And somehow the shark eats it?
I don't know who
I'm gonna enjoy killin' more,
that shark or both of you.
How 'bout I get you mounted.
I'll hang you up
over the fireplace.
What do you think about--
Hey!
Hey!
What?
He deserved that.
That's one fickle tide.
Uh oh.
- Oh, no.
- Let's get out of here!
What are you waiting for?
Go!
Well, I have an idea.
You're really gonna
double-down now?
We leave and he gets
loose of that line,
what he does to other
folks is gonna be on us.
Ah, hell.
Why don't you grab
that rope, okay?
You lasso that chum guzzler.
We'll drag him up onto dry land.
We'll watch him
suffocate, slowly.
And then we'll get the Go-Pro.
Why?
DeConnard is dead.
Well, people still
need to know what he did.
All right, all right.
If there's one thing
I learned from Rufus,
it's how to swing a rope.
When he teach you that?
Got it!
Woo, come on!
Hit it!
- Yippee ki-yay, futher mucker.
Hell ya!
You're doin' it!
Ya, we're doin' it.
We're not doin' it.
Givin' it all she got!
Look out!
The cleat's not gonna hold!
Duck!
Watch out!
I'm gonna keep us drier
than a popcorn fart.
No friggin' way.
You're the luckiest
son of a bitch I know!
Luck ain't got
nothing to do with it.
My Go-Pro!
- Son of a bitch!
- Dammit!
Hey!
You let her go!
Daisy?
I'm okay.
She's okay.
Well,
that's one way to get
rid of an old boyfriend.
Can you move?
Uh huh.
I'm gonna get my Go-Pro.
I got it!
Woo!
Ya, baby!
And that,
ladies and gents,
is how I learned
to stop worrying
and love the trailer park.
It might not look like much,
but it's everything to us.
It's home.
Well, to what's left of us.