Tough Guy: The Bob Probert Story (2019) - full transcript

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presentation is rated 14A.

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PROBERT AND DOMI GOING

AT IT OFF THE FACEOFF.

HE KNOWS DOMI'S

A TOUGH KID.

DOMI'S BEEN THREATENING

THIS FIGHT FOR A LONG TIME.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

PROBERT IS CUT BADLY.

WRESTLING WAS BECOMING A REAL

ENTERTAINMENT THING AT THE TIME.

THERE WAS HULK HOGAN, AND

MACHO MAN, AND BRET HART,

AND THESE GUYS WERE

REALLY LIVING IT UP.

I THINK I WAS TRYING

TO TRANSITION THAT

INTO HOCKEY A LITTLE BIT.

THE SECOND ONE WAS

OBVIOUSLY THE HYPE,

AND THE NEW YORK TIMES

FRONT PAGE AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

IT WAS LIKE A BOXING

MATCH, FRAZIER/ALI,

THEY HAD THE SIZE DIFFERENCE

AND ALL THAT STUFF.

HE HAD THE

ADVANTAGE FOR SURE.

HE HAD THE

SMARTS GOING IN.

THEY HAVE TRIED TO PUT THE

EMPHASIS ON HOCKEY

AND NOT FIGHTING,

BUT TONIGHT THERE ISN'T

MUCH THEY CAN DO ABOUT IT

AS THE DETROIT REDWINGS FACE

THE RANGERS IN NEW YORK.

ACTUALLY, IT'S ABOUT

TIE DOMI OF THE RANGERS

AND BOB PROBERT OF

THE RED WINGS.

I'M NOT SCARED OF ANYBODY

BUT I'M NOT BACKING

DOWN OR ANYTHING.

I'M GOING TO STICK UP FOR

MY TEAMMATES LIKE I SAID,

AND THE WHOLE IDEA IS TO

HELP THIS TEAM WIN

AND TO BACK MY TEAMMATES UP.

ARE YOU GETTING

A LITTLE TIRED OF...

I'M SURE I'LL SEE HIM THEN.

HE WAS LIKE, HE WAS LIKE...

I'M TELL YOU, HIS EYES

WERE LIKE LIGHTBULBS.

LOOK AT YZERMAN,

THE CAPTAIN THERE.

THE WHOLE BENCH IS MOCKING DOMI

WITH THE CHAMPIONSHIP BELT.

OH MY GOODNESS.

20 THOUSAND PEOPLE THERE,

GOING NUTS, AND YOU PEOPLE

THAT DON'T LIKE FIGHTING,

HOW MANY OF YOU

WALKED TO GET A COFFEE

WHILE THAT WAS ON?

YOU CAN'T BE

A WIMP OR ANYTHING.

YOU HAVE TO BE STRONG,

AND THAT'S WHAT THEY DID.

I WAS ON THE POLICE DEPARTMENT

WITH BOBBY'S DAD, AL.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

WE RODE MOTORCYCLE TOGETHER.

THE WAY THINGS ARE

SCRUTINIZED FOR POLICE TODAY,

WE PROBABLY HAD

A MORE OPEN HAND

WITH OUR POLICE WORK THEN.

MY HUSBAND HAD HIS

FIRST STROKE MARCH 21ST

AND HE DIED THE

FOLLOWING AUGUST 28TH.

AND HE WASN'T

HIMSELF AT ALL.

HE COULDN'T REALLY TALK TOO

MUCH, OR WALK, OR WHATEVER.

I THINK IT WAS HARD ON THE

BOYS TO SEE THE WAY

THEIR DAD WENT, BECAUSE HE

WAS ALWAYS A BIG STRONG MAN,

AND THEN FOR

THIS TO HAPPEN,

IT WAS PRETTY HARD ON THE BOYS,

I KNOW THAT.

BUT THEY NEVER

TALKED ABOUT IT.

HE NEVER CRIED AT

HIS DAD'S FUNERAL.

THAT'S HOW HE WAS

RAISED YOU KNOW,

BOYS DON'T CRY, MEN DON'T CRY.

IT SURE MAKES YOU

GROW UP QUICK.

THERE ARE TIMES WHERE YOU

WISH YOU HAD YOUR DAD AROUND

TO GET A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE

ON DIFFERENT SITUATIONS

YOU RUN INTO LATER IN LIFE.

I THINK THINGS WOULD

HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENT

IF HE WOULD HAVE BEEN

AROUND A LITTLE LONGER.

HE LEFT THE DAY

AFTER THE FUNERAL.

THE DAY AFTER THE FUNERAL,

ONE OF MY POLICE FRIENDS

DROVE HIM DOWN

TO CAMP IN BRANFORD.

SO HE REALLY DIDN'T GRIEVE

WITH HIS FATHER OR NOTHING

BECAUSE HE WAS GONE.

SO I LOST MY HUSBAND

AND THE NEXT DAY

MY SON WAS GONE TO

BRANFORD. JUNIOR HOCKEY.

NUMBER FOUR WITH

A SHOT. HE SCORES!

HE DIDN'T

LIKE FIGHTING.

AT LEAST WHAT HE

TOLD ME, HE DIDN'T.

HE DID IT BECAUSE HE DID

IT, HE HAD TO DO IT.

THESE GUYS ARE

STILL GOING AT IT.

THEY JUST GOT OUT

OF THE BOX AGAIN...

I BELIEVE IT IS

BAUMGARTNER AND PROBERT,

AND THEY WERE JUST TALKING THE

WHOLE TIME IN THE PENALTY BOX.

YOU KNEW SOMETHING WAS

GOING TO HAPPEN...

HE CERTAINLY WAS

BROUGHT UP IN A CULTURE

WHERE DRINKING WAS,

YOU KNOW, A CENTERPIECE.

THE ADJUSTMENT OF BEING

AWAY FROM YOUR PARENTS

IS QUITE LARGE

BECAUSE YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN

AT FIFTEEN, SIXTEEN.

I RECALL IN BRANFORD,

EVEN BEING UNDER 19,

HIM GOING INTO THE BARS.

THEY KNEW HE WAS UNDERAGE AND

HE WOULD STILL GO TO THE BARS,

TAKE THE WAITRESS

HOME OR WHATEVER.

THAT LED HIM GETTING KICKED

OUT OF HIS PLACE IN BRANFORD.

HE BROUGHT HER

INTO THE CRAWLSPACE

AT THE BILLET'S HOUSE,

WHERE HE WAS SLEEPING

WITH THE BILLET AS WELL,

AND SHE SAW THE GIRL GETTING

SNUCK OUT IN THE MORNING

SHE GOT REALLY UPSET OVER IT.

I THINK THE BILLET

GOT VERY JEALOUS.

WHEN HE MISSED THE ONTARIO

HOCKEY LEAGUE ALL-STAR TEAM,

THE GAME, HE MISSED IT

BECAUSE HE WAS DRINKING

THE NIGHT BEFORE.

WE GOT SELECTED TO GO

WITH THE OHL ALL-STAR GAME.

WE WENT OUT AND

HAD FEW BEERS.

UNFORTUNATELY, WE

SLEPT-IN IN THE MORNING,

AND WE HAD A MEETING

AT THE RINK THE NEXT DAY,

AND WE WERE GOING TO

BE SUSPENDED FOR TWO WEEKS

FROM LEAGUE PLAY,

FROM THE ALEXANDERS.

YOU BASICALLY THINK

THE WORLD IS OVER.

YOUR HOCKEY WORLD'S OVER,

YOUR DREAM IS DONE,

AND IN HINDSIGHT, IT WAS

A DUMB ASS THING TO DO.

I WANT TO TALK

ABOUT BOBBY PROBERT.

IS HE BEAUTIFUL,

OR IS HE BEAUTIFUL?

I MEAN HIS REPUTATION PRECEDED

HIM EVERY PLACE HE WENT,

AND BACK IN THOSE DAYS

HE WAS A GUNFIGHTER,

A YOUNG GUNFIGHTER.

THEY USED TO GO UP TO HIM

AND SAY, "YOU WANNA GO?

I GOTTA MAKE A

REPUTATION."

AND HE'D USUALLY WIN,

BUT IF THE GUY SURVIVED,

IT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.

THE FIGHTING HAS

CHANGED QUITE A BIT.

BACK THEN IT WAS, YOU

KNOW, LET'S SEE WHO CAN

HIT THE HARDEST AND WHO

CAN KNOCK EACH OTHER DOWN.

HE WAS THE BIG BOY ON

THE BLOCK WITHOUT A DOUBT.

BOB PROBERT WAS

UNBELIEVABLE FOR ANY TEAM

HE PLAYED FOR, BECAUSE

WHENEVER HE WAS DRESSED

THE OTHER TEAM FEARED HIM

SO MUCH THAT EVERYBODY

ON HIS TEAM BECAME BIGGER,

STRONGER, BRAVER.

AND THEY ARE JUST

HAMMERING EACH OTHER!

MY GOODNESS, LOOK AT

THESE TWO TRADING PUNCHES!

WOW, MAN OH MAN.

THE NIGHT BEFORE, YOU HAVE

A DIFFICULT TIME SLEEPING.

OH, PROBERT JUST TOOK

MANSON TO THE ICE!

BOB PROBERT HITS BOB ROUSE,

AND THERE'S THE HELMET!

YOU'RE GOING TO SEE THE

PIECE OF HELMET COME RIGHT OFF.

PROBERT'S STILL LOOSE, HE'S

GOING TO GO AFTER MAGUIRE.

NOW HE COMES IN...

HE'S GOING TO GET

SUSPENDED WITHOUT A DOUBT,

THERE'S NO QUESTION.

WE'VE GOT PROBERT

GOING AT IT WITH EWAN.

I KNEW THAT WAS COMING.

OH! LOOK AT EWAN!

IF HE LOST A FIGHT, HE WOULD

FIGHT COMING OUT OF THE BOX.

I REMEMBER WE WERE

YOUNG AND IN ST LOUIS

AND HE FOUGHT TODD EWAN,

AND DOWN HE WENT.

AND THE WHOLE TIME IN THE BOX

I COULD SEE HIM JUST FUMING.

AND OF COURSE IN THE OLD

DAYS THEY CAME OUT OF THE BOX

AND RIGHT TO EACH OTHER,

AND BOB LANDED A LOT OF BLOWS.

IT WAS RETRIBUTION

OF "I CANT LOSE."

NOW PROBERT, AS HE DOES

SO OFTEN IN THESE FIGHTS,

AS IT GOES ON HE

SEEMS TO GAIN MOMENTUM,

AND NOW HE'S GOT EWAN

BACKPEDALING.

PROBERT HAS REALLY MESSED

UP HIS RIGHT HAND.

HE MAY HAVE CAUGHT

IT ON EWAN'S HELMET.

HE WOULD DO CRAZY THINGS.

HE HAD NO QUALMS ABOUT HITTING

A GOALIE, NONE WHATSOEVER.

DENIED BY KEANS.

KEANS TRAPS IT

BEHIND THE NET.

OH, AND DOWN ON THE ICE.

A HEAVY HIT.

KEANS JUST GOT

LEVELED BY PROBERT.

NOW WATCH PROBERT.

I DON'T WANT TO SAY

PROBERT'S TOUGH OR ANYTHING,

BUT KEEP YOUR

EYE ON BUTCHER.

NOW WATCH, RIENDEAU'S POINTING.

DON'T POINT AT PROBERT!

DON'T POINT AT PROBERT BECAUSE

BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU!

ISN'T HE A BEAUTY?

THAT'S BRUTAL.

I KNOW, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

SITTING IN THE DRESSING

ROOM BEFORE A HOCKEY GAME,

HE AND I WOULD PULL OUT

THE ROSTER FOR THE OTHER TEAM

AND WE'D KIND OF PICK AND CHOOSE

WHO WAS GOING AFTER WHO FIRST.

WHO GETS TO RUN THE GOALIE

TONIGHT, BECAUSE WE KNEW

WHEN SOMEONE RAN THE GOALIE

THAT'S GOING TO BE A BRAWL.

IT WAS THE '80S. BACK IN

THE '80S, IT WAS SOCIAL.

IF YOU WERE OF THE MINDSET

THAT ME AND BOB WERE,

YOU COULD KEEP DRINKING

'CAUSE OF IT.

AND THE FIRST TIME YOU DID

IT, YOU KNEW COULD DRINK

FOR 4 MORE HOURS,

HELL, SCRATCH ME IN.

BOBBY WAS SO VALUABLE

TO THE TEAM, THEY LOOKED

THE OTHER WAY FOR A WHILE,

UNTIL IT HIT THE PAPERS.

THEY HAD TO TRY

AND DO SOMETHING.

THE CONCRETE OF THE LIGHT

STANDARD CRUMBLED TO THE GROUND.

HE CARRIED ON BEYOND THAT

AND DROVE THROUGH A WINDOW

OF THE RESTAURANT BAR, AND

HIS CAR ENDED UP RIGHT

AT THE BAR WHERE PEOPLE WERE

SEATED IN BAR STOOLS

IN THIS RESTAURANT.

HE HAD GOTTEN

INTO A FIGHT WITH SEVERAL

WINDSOR POLICE OFFICERS,

AND HE WAS BEATEN PRETTY BADLY.

KIND OF IMPRESSED

UPON HIM, YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE NOT A KID ANYMORE.

YOU'RE A PROFESSIONAL

ATHLETE NOW.

PEOPLE ARE WATCHING, PEOPLE

ARE GONNA BE TESTING YOU,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO

SHOW SOME RESTRAINT.

HIS CROSS EXAMINATION

WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

"MR. PROBERT,"I UNDERSTAND

THAT YOU ARE CONSIDERED

BY MANY TO BE THE HEAVYWEIGHT

CHAMPION OF THE NHL."

BOB FELL FOR IT AND WAS

QUITE PROUD TO ANNOUNCE,

YES, HE WAS INDEED

A HOCKEY PLAYER.

YES, HE WAS INDEED A

PRETTY GOOD FIGHTER,

AND HE WOULDN'T WANT

TO FIGHT HIMSELF,

HE WAS THAT GOOD.

SO WE HAD A BREAK IN

THE ACTION, AND THE CASE

WASN'T QUITE OVER, AND HE

CAME OUT DURING THE BREAK

AND HE SAID, "I WASN'T

VERY GOOD, WAS I?"

IN FRONT OF A

CRIMINAL JUDGE

WHERE IT'S ALLEGED THAT

YOU RESISTED ARREST

AND YOU FOUGHT SEVERAL OFFICERS,

AND ACTUALLY HAD THE BEST

OF THEM FOR A PERIOD OF TIME,

THOSE WERE NOT GOOD ANSWERS.

I DO REMEMBER THAT HE

DID BRING SOMEBODY HOME,

SOME GIRL. I DON'T KNOW.

SHE SEEMED LIKE A NICE GIRL,

BUT I DON'T THINK HE

SHOULD EVER HAVE DONE THAT.

EVEN SOME OF HIS

TREATMENT COUNSELORS

WOULD FALL FOR HIS LYING.

I'M THINKING, THESE ARE

SEASONED TREATMENT OFFICERS,

THEY SHOULD KNOW EVERYBODY

WITH THOSE ADDICTIONS

BECOMES A

CON MAN OR CON WOMEN.

AND HE COULD CON

ANYBODY INTO THINKING

THAT EVERYTHING WAS OKAY.

IT FIRST CAME TO LIGHT

THAT BOB TOTALED A CAR

AND WAS IN JAIL IN WINDSOR.

HOW YOU TOTAL A CAR IN

A 30-MILE PER HOUR ZONE

I DON'T KNOW, BUT BOB

MANAGED TO DO IT.

AND WE HAD A MEETING

THE NEXT DAY,

AND JIM LITES SAID,

"HOW CAN HE GET THIS WAY?

WHO'S FOLLOWING HIM?

WHO'S LOOKING

AFTER THIS GUY?"

AND NO ONE'S SAYING IN THE

ROOM, AND I LOOKED AROUND,

SO I PUT MY HAND UP.

AND THAT WAS THE BEGINNING

OF A TOUGH LOVE RELATIONSHIP.

WE WERE SELFISH, TOO.

WE KNEW HOW GOOD BOB WAS

AND HOW HE COULD HELP US,

SO WE DIDN'T FIX IT THE

WAY WE REALLY HAD TO FIX IT.

WE WANTED HIM CLEANED

UP IN TWO WEEKS.

HE SPENT A LIFETIME

GETTING THE WAY HE DID

AND WE THOUGHT WE COULD

FIX IT UP IN 7 TO 10 DAYS.

WE TRIED A LOT OF THINGS.

WE WENT TO ANTABUSE,

WHICH IS A PILL YOU TAKE

THAT MAKES YOU VIOLENTLY

ILL WHEN YOU DRINK.

WE'RE STANDING AROUND

PRACTICE ONE DAY

AND WE COULD SMELL IT,

AND WE LOOK AT EACH OTHER,

"WHO DRANK LAST NIGHT?"

HE SAID, "WELL, I CHANGED

THE PILLS IN YOUR OFFICE IN

THE CONTAINER," SO I WAS GIVING

HIM AN ADVIL OR SOMETHING.

THERE WASN'T JUST

ONE PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR.

I THINK HE HAD

A TEAM OF PEOPLE

THAT WOULD KIND OF

KEEP TABS ON BOB.

IT DIDN'T LAST LONG, NONE

OF THE NEWS WAS VERY GOOD.

THERE WERE A LOT OF

PROBERT JERSEYS IN THERE.

I'D SAY THERE WERE MORE

PROBERT JERSEYS IN THERE

THAN THERE WAS ANY OTHER

JERSEYS THAT I REMEMBER.

SO BOB WAS AN

ASSET TO THEM.

IF HE WASN'T

AN ASSET, TRUST ME,

THEY WOULDN'T HAVE PUT UP

WITH HIM AS LONG AS THEY DID.

HE WAS ALMOST MR. DETROIT,

AND IT WAS ALMOST LIKE

HE CAN DO

ANYTHING IN DETROIT

AND GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE

HE WAS SO BIG AND DETROIT,

AND HE WAS LOVED

BY HIS TEAMMATES.

HE'S THE BADDEST GUY

ON ICE, YOU KNOW?

WHEN PROBIE AND I CAME TO

DETROIT BACK IN THE EARLY

OR MID-80S, THE WINGS

WEREN'T WINNING.

PEOPLE STARTED

TALKING TO US

AND CALLING US

THE BRUISE BROTHERS.

THE TEAM WILL SCORE A GOAL,

THERE WOULDN'T BE A WHOLE

LOT OF PEOPLE STANDING UP.

BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE

DROPPED THEIR GLOVES,

THE ENTIRE STADIUM STOOD UP.

NOBODY WANTED

TO PLAY AGAINST HIM.

HE SCORES 29 GOALS THAT YEAR

AND 398 PENALTY MINUTES.

PLAYS IN THE

ALL-STAR GAME.

HE SCORES! BOB PROBERT!

HE WAS JUST THAT VALUABLE.

FROM THE DETROIT RED WINGS

IN HIS ALL-STAR GAME DEBUT,

ONE OF THE MOST RUGGED

PLAYERS IN THE LEAGUE,

NUMBER 24, RIGHT

WINGER BOB PROBERT!

NOW COMES PROBERT.

GRETZKY FIRES. HE SCORES!

THE ABILITY TO

SCORE 20 OR MORE GOALS

AND THE ABILITY TO OPERATE

AS THE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

OF THE NHL FOR THE

MAJORITY OF HIS CAREER,

I THINK YOU'D BE HARD PRESSED

TO FIND THAT COMBINATION,

THAT PACKAGE, IN ONE PERSON

THROUGHOUT ALL OF NHL HISTORY.

IT'S PRETTY RARE.

THERE WAS EIGHT OR

TEN OTHER PLAYERS THERE,

A COUPLE THAT WERE PLAYING,

AND A LOT OF GUYS WHO WERE

HURT, AND BOB WAS THERE.

AND I WAS MORE UPSET THAT

THEY ALLOWED BOB TO DRINK

WHEN THEY ALL KNEW

THE PROBLEM HE HAD.

I LOOKED AT HIM I SAID,

"SO UNDERSTAND KLIMA

AND PROBIE WERE OUT

DRINKING LAST NIGHT."

AND THE DEMER'S FACE JUST

KIND OF TURNED WHITE.

HE TOOK A DEEP BREATH

AND HE LEANED BACK

AND HE SPILLED HIS GUTS.

HE TOLD US EVERYTHING,

EVERYTHING,

WHICH WAS HIGHLY UNUSUAL.

WE LET JACQUES

JUST GO ON AND ON ABOUT

HOW DEVASTATED HE WAS, HOW

DISAPPOINTED HE WAS,

HOW HIS PLAYERS WERE

A BUNCH OF IDIOTS, HOW THEY

LET THEIR TEAMMATES DOWN,

AND ON, AND ON, AND ON.

TURNED OUT TO BE

A PRETTY GOOD STORY.

GRETZKY HELD IT IN, THEY SCORE!

THERE'S BOB PROBERT PICTURED

ON THE FRONT PAGE HERE.

AND HEADLINE IS "RED WINGS

STAR MISSES KEY GOAL:

STAYING SOBER.

"ONE NIGHT AFTER BOB PROBERT

BROKE GORDIE HOWE'S

REDWINGS PLAYOFF

SCORING RECORD,

HE BROKE HIS COACH'S HEART."

THIS ABOUT THE GOOSE LOONIES

INCIDENT IN EDMONTON.

THE COUPLE OF STORIES WE'VE

HAD THE LAST FEW DAYS

HAVE BEEN REINSTATED

THAT I WAS RIGHT

BECAUSE OF WHAT

HAPPENED LAST NIGHT.

KEITH GAVE WAS A WRITER

FOR THE DETROIT FREE PRESS.

VERY, VERY NEGATIVE.

WAS HITTING THE

PAPERS ALL THE TIME.

PROBIE'S CAREER MISCONDUCT

CHRONOLOGY IT'S CALLED,

AND IT GOES ON PAGE, AFTER

PAGE, AFTER PAGE OF HIS ISSUES

WITH ALCOHOL

AND OTHER THINGS.

JULY 2ND, 1986:

CHARGED WITH ASSAULTING

A POLICE OFFICER AFTER

A SCUFFLE AT A WINDSOR BAR.

SHOCKER.

DISCHARGED

FROM A MINNESOTA HOSPITAL

AFTER TREATMENT

FOR ALCOHOLISM.

THIS IS 1986.

THIS IS RIGHT AFTER HIS

ROOKIE SEASON IN THE NHL.

AND IT GOES ON PAGE,

AFTER PAGE, AFTER PAGE.

JACQUES CREATED A

CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MESS.

THE RUMOURS HAD GONE

AS FAR AS THE EARS

OF COACH JASQUES DEMERS...

I GOTTA TELL YOU THIS, TOO.

I HAD WRITTEN SO MUCH

ABOUT BOB PROBERT,

AND PETR KLIMA, AND OTHERS.

I FELT LIKE A HYPOCRITE

WRITING ABOUT THE THINGS

I HAD TO WRITE ABOUT.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN BOB PROBERT AND ME

IS THAT HE GOT

CAUGHT AND I DIDN'T.

I'M GUILTY OF

THE SAME THINGS.

MANY OF US ARE.

HAVING A FEW DRINKS

IN THE PRESS BOX,

FINISHING UP MY STORY,

HITTING LAST CALL,

DRIVING HOME CERTAINLY

PAST THE LEGAL LIMIT.

I COULD HAVE GOT CAUGHT AND

NAILED ANY NUMBER OF TIMES.

I DIDN'T.

I WAS LUCKIER THAN HIM.

I MET BOB AT THE FRONT

DESK AT THE RELAX PLAZA

HERE IN WINDSOR.

HE WAS STAYING THERE,

HAD A LITTLE HIATUS.

HE WAS HAVING SOME PROBLEMS

WITH HIS VISA, I THINK.

HIS WORK VISA.

THE CHEMISTRY WAS JUST THERE.

WE WENT ON OUR FIRST DATE

AND WENT TO A

CHINESE FOOD RESTAURANT

THAT HIS DAD HAD JUST

LOVED IN DOWNTOWN WINDSOR.

AND WE ENJOYED THAT, AND

THEN WE WENT OUT FOR SOME

FROZEN YOGURT, AND IT WAS HIS

FIRST TIME FOR FROZEN YOGURT,

AND I FELL FOR THE "THIS

DOESN'T SMELL RIGHT, SMELL THIS"

AND I GOT YOGURT UP

MY NOSE. WASN'T THAT CUTE?

SO I WAS JUST, I DUNNO.

EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM,

HE WAS JUST ADORABLE.

HE REALLY WAS.

I SAID STAY AWAY FROM HIM.

ALL MY INSTINCTS WENT UP.

HE LOOKED LIKE TROUBLE.

COCAINE MADE HIM SLOW DOWN.

MOST TIMES IT SPEEDS YOU UP,

BUT WITH BOB IT SLOWED HIM DOWN.

ONE OF THE THINGS,

BOB NEVER GOT ARRESTED

WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER.

I GUESS HE DID GET ARRESTED,

BECAUSE WE GOT IN

A SCRAP IN DALLAS.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I THINK WE

JUST WENT HARDER THAN OTHERS.

I THINK THAT'S BASICALLY

HOW I CAN SUM THAT UP.

I REMEMBER HIM TELLING

ME PLAYING AGAINST

THE NEW YORK ISLANDERS,

AND NOT REMEMBERING

EVEN BEING ON THE ICE,

HE WAS SO HIGH.

THAT WAS A DRUG THAT WAS

WIDELY USED IN THE NHL.

LOOK OUT, CHELIOS IS

GOING TO GET IT NOW.

IT'S PRETTY SCARY WHEN

YOU GET A GUY CHASING YOU

AROUND ON THE ICE

THAT'S DOING COCAINE.

IT SEEMS LIKE IT GAVE

YOU THIS CRAZY STRENGTH

AND, YOU KNOW, THIS ENERGY.

SO IT WAS DANGEROUS.

CHELIOS COULD

BE VULNERABLE.

I'M SAYING,

IT'S NOT RIGHT, YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE ON THAT SHIT

AND YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND.

AND PROBIE WAS

ACTUALLY REALLY SINCERE

AND SOMEBODY GOES,

"YOU'RE RIGHT."

I THINK THE FIRST TIME

I REALLY DID NOTICE

WAS THE NIGHT HE WAS

CAUGHT AT THE BORDER.

TO BACK IT UP, WE WERE AT

THE BAR IN WINDSOR,

AND WATCHING HIM BEHIND

THE BAR AND DRINKING

OUT OF THE BOTTLE,

AND IT WAS LIKE A SWITCH,

SEEING SOMETHING THAT

I'D NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

LIKE THIS NON STOP,

COULDN'T STOP.

THEN GOING THROUGH THE TUNNEL,

HIM SCRAMBLING TO HIDE THINGS.

LAST NIGHT IT WAS THE RED

WINGS VERSUS THE ISLANDERS.

TODAY IT'S THE PEOPLE

OF THE UNITED STATES

VERSUS ROBERT ALLEN PROBERT.

THE RED WINGS STAR COULD

FACE UP TO 20 YEARS IN PRISON

IF CONVICTED OF

DRUG SMUGGLING CHARGES.

CUSTOMS INSPECTORS STOPPED

HIM AND THREE COMPANIONS

AS THEY REACHED

THE AMERICAN SIDE

OF THE DETROIT/WINDSOR TUNNEL.

IT WAS 5:15 a.m.

IF CUSTOMS' VERSION IS TRUE,

PROBERT WAS ALMOST

INVITING A SEARCH.

THE EXAMINING CUSTOMS

OFFICER SAW THAT

HIS IMMIGRATION

DOCUMENT HAD EXPIRED,

THEY NOTICED

EMPTY LIQUOR CONTAINERS

AND BEER CANS IN THE VEHICLE.

A CHECK OF PROBERT'S

POCKETS REVEALED A MILL,

A DEVICE OFTEN USED

TO GRIND COCAINE.

A STRIP SEARCH FOLLOWED.

INSPECTORS SAY THEY FOUND

14.3 GRAMS OF COCAINE

IN PROBERT'S UNDERWEAR.

I THINK HE REALLY

WANTED TO GET CAUGHT,

AND TALKING TO HIM LATER

ON HE BASICALLY SAID THAT.

ONE OF THE CUSTOMS

IMMIGRATION OFFICERS SAID

TO HIM, ACCORDING TO BOB, "DO

YOU WANT TO GO IN THE WASHROOM?"

BOB SAID, "NO."

HE SAID, "NO, DO YOU WANT

TO GO IN THE WASHROOM?

MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO

IN THE WASHROOM."

AND BOB FINALLY GOT THE HINT

THAT GUY WAS HELPING HIM OUT.

BOB HAD SOME COCAINE WITH

HIM, A WHOLE BUNCH OF COCAINE,

AND THE OFFICERS

SAID MAYBE YOU WANT

TO FLUSH IT DOWN THE TOILET.

AND BOB WAS READY TO FLUSH

IT DOWN THE TOILET, SAID,

"I CAN'T DO THAT."

SO HE SAID, YOU KNOW

"I SNIFFED IT ALL IN.

I LOOKED LIKE I WAS HAVING

A POWDERED JELLY DOUGHNUT

WHEN I WALKED OUT OF THERE."

I WAS 21 YEARS OLD, SO THE

STRIP SEARCH WAS TERRIFYING.

AND THE QUESTIONING...

NOW THAT I LOOK BACK, IT

SEEMS LIKE MAYBE 15-20 MINUTES,

BUT PROBABLY

21-YEAR-OLD DANI

WAS PROBABLY FEELING

LIKE IT WAS AN ETERNITY.

AFTER THAT I REMEMBER

THE SUN COMING UP

AND EVERYTHING

HITTING THE NEWS.

PROBERT IS SCHEDULED BACK

IN COURT MARCH 22ND.

HE FACES NOT

ONLY A JAIL TERM

BUT BANISHMENT OF

THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE.

AND THE IMMIGRATION AND

NATURALIZATION SERVICE

SAYS IT WILL SEEK

TO DEPORT PROBERT

REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME

OF THIS DRUG CASE.

THE ARREST OF BOB PROBERT

ON COCAINE CHARGES

COULD CERTAINLY

DEVASTATE HIS CAREER.

TODAY'S NEWS COMES AS A

TREMENDOUS DISAPPOINTMENT

TO THE RED WINGS.

HIS DRINKING PROBLEM

HAS BEEN WELL DOCUMENTED.

HE'S BEEN IN ALCOHOL

REHABILITATION CLINICS

5 TIMES IN THE PAST.

OFFICIALS FOUND OVER 14 GRAMS

OF COCAINE IN HIS POSSESSION.

FOR PROBERT, A POSSIBLE

JAIL TERM IN HIS FUTURE.

FOR THE REDWINGS, A

HIDDEN SIGH OF RELIEF.

FOR SOME REASON

CAN'T HELP HIMSELF.

ARE DRUGS THE DEMON

THAT'S RUINED HIM?

DO THOSE CLOSES TO HIM HAVE

TO SHARE THE RESPONSIBLY

FOR HIS DEMISE, OR IS PROBERT

BENT ON SELF DESTRUCTION?

A CRUEL AND WILLING

ACCOMPLICE IN OWN RUINATION?

YOU KNOW, IF SOMEBODY

RUNS AFOUL OF THE RULES

THEY OUGHT TO SUFFER

THE CONSEQUENCES.

I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE

EXPRESSED THAT.

I FEEL SORRY

FOR HIS PARENTS.

AND IT'S A ROUGH MARK

FOR THE CITY OF WINDSOR.

I THINK HE SHOULD

BE THROWN IN JAIL.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY

SYMPATHY FOR HIM?

NO, HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN

KICKED OUT OF THE NHL

A LONG TIME AGO.

THE MEDIA COVERAGE I DON'T

EVEN THINK WAS GUILTY

OF SENSATIONALIZING WHEN

THEY, YOU KNOW, PREDICTED

THAT IT WAS THE END

OF HIS CAREER, YOU KNOW

THAT HE WOULD MOST

CERTAINLY BE INCARCERATED,

MOST CERTAINLY BE

DEPORTED UPON COMPLETION

OF HIS INCARCERATION.

AND YOU KNOW,

AND OFF IT WENT.

FOR ALL YOU KIDS OUT THERE,

ALL YOU YOUNG HOCKEY PLAYERS,

I JUST WANT

TO SAY SOMETHING.

THINK OF SOMETHING WHEN

SOMEBODY OFFERS YOU JUNK

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT,

THINK OF BOB PROBERT.

HERE'S A GUY, BIG GUY,

6' 3", 3-YEAR CONTRACT.

HE HAD DETROIT IN

THE PALM OF HIS HAND,

EVERYBODY LOVED HIM,

COACH LOVED HIM.

HE WALKED INTO A ROOM AND

EVERY EYE TURNED TO HIM.

NOW IT'S ALL GONE.

I DO SYMPATHIZE OR

HAVE SYMPATHY FOR BOBBY,

BECAUSE I THINK HIS PROBLEMS

GO BEYOND HIS OWN CONTROL.

I THINK EVEN IF HE WANTED

TO CHANGE HE NEEDED

MORE HELP THAN JUST

HIMSELF TO DO IT.

HE'S GOTTA GET HIS LIFE

STRAIGHTENED OUT,

AND UNTIL HE DOES THAT,

HE'S NOT REALLY GOOD

TO HIMSELF OR TO US.

FIRST COUPLE TIMES YOU

SAY, WELL HE SCREWED UP,

LET'S GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

BUT IT'S BEEN ABOUT

MAYBE 12-15 TIMES,

SO I DON'T THINK WE FEEL

SORRY FOR HIM NOW.

PROBERT WALKED

INTO THE COURTHOUSE

NOT KNOWING IF HE WOULD

WALK OUT AGAIN A FREE MAN.

FACING PATRICK DUGGEN, THE

TEARS WELLED UP IN HIS EYES

AS HE TRIED TO SPEAK.

PROBERT TOLD THE JUDGE

THAT HE WAS SORRY

FOR WHAT HE HAD DONE, SORRY

HE HAD LET HIS TEAMMATES,

HIS FAMILY, HIS FRIENDS,

AND HIS FANS DOWN.

IT REALLY HURT TO SEE

PEOPLE I LET DOWN

THAT STILL CARE ABOUT ME.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ABLE

TO PLAY HOCKEY SOMEDAY?

I WOULD LIKE TO GET

BACK INTO HOCKEY.

I DO MISS IT.

THERE ARE A FEW OBSTACLES

IN THE WAY RIGHT NOW,

BUT YES, I WOULD LIKE TO

PLAY HOCKEY AGAIN SOMEDAY.

I REMEMBER VISITING

BOB IN ROCHESTER,

MINNESOTA, WHEN HE WAS AT

THE FEDERAL FACILITY THERE.

I'D NEVER BEEN TO

A FEDERAL PRISON BEFORE.

IT WAS AN INTIMIDATING

THING, YOU KNOW.

THEY TAKE YOUR

THEY FINGERPRINT,

AND YOU GO IN THERE TO VISIT.

AND WE PROBABLY SPENT

AN HOUR WITH BOB VISITING.

HE WAS, YOU KNOW,

NERVOUS AND ANXIOUS,

AS YOU WOULD EXPECT

A 24-YEAR-OLD GUY TO BE.

PROBIE TAKES THE ICE,

AND I MEAN I GET CHILLS

THINKING ABOUT IT.

YOU KNOW, THE CROWD

STARTS CHANTING HIS NAME.

AND THE CROWD REACTING TO

NUMBER 24, BOB PROBERT,

TAKING HIS FIRST

SHIFT THIS AFTERNOON.

AND WATCH WHAT HAPPENS HERE.

PROBERT STEPS ON THE

STICK RIGHT THERE.

WELL, BOB I DON'T THINK

HAD REALLY LOST A FIGHT

UP UNTIL THAT POINT,

SO IT WAS A BIG THING.

AND MOMENTUM STARTED

BUILDING LIKE I WAS THE NEW

UP AND COMING GUY AND

HE WAS THE REIGNING KING,

SO THE HYPE GREW.

THEY SAID, LET'S GO,

LET'S GO, AND AWAY THEY GO.

CROWDER GETS A COUPLE

OF EARLY ONES IN.

I ALWAYS SAID IT WAS KIND

OF LIKE RIDING A BULL.

YOU'D BETTER HOLD ON, YOU'D

BETTER STAY ON TOP OF IT

BECAUSE HE SEEMED

TO GET MORE WORKED UP

AS THE FIGHT WENT ON.

FACE TO FACE RIGHT IN

FRONT OF THE NEW JERSEY BENCH.

PROBERT GETS

A RIGHT TO CROWDER...

WHOA! PROBERT NAILS...

HE KNOCKS HIM DOWN!

I KNOW RON MACLEAN AND DON

CHERRY HAD DROVE DOWN

TO COME WATCH THE GAME.

WE'VE GOT A FIGHT

COMING UP HERE! SHOW IT!

ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO!

NOW WATCH THE

HELMET GO FLYING.

THIS IS A GREAT FIGHT,

THIS IS A RETURN OF

PROBERT AND CROWDER

AND 20,000 PEOPLE.

THIS IS KNOCKOUT

COMING UP HERE.

RON MACLEAN AND I,

WE WENT TO DETROIT,

AND IT WAS LIKE A HEAVYWEIGHT

CHAMPIONSHIP FIGHT.

IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.

IN DETROIT, THEY DIDN'T CARE,

THE PUCK WAS IN THE FAR END,

THEY JUST KEPT THEIR

EYE ON BOB AND TROY.

AND SURE ENOUGH,

THEY GET INTO IT.

AND BOB HIT TROY

SO HARD HIS HELMET

WENT ABOUT TEN FEET IN THE AIR.

AND THEY HAD TWO BEAUTIES.

EVERYBODY KNOWS, I DON'T

THINK HE EVER GOT BEAT.

HE MIGHT BE

BEAT BY SOMEBODY,

BUT I DON'T REMEMBER HIM

EVER BEING BEAT.

LOOK AT THIS, YOU'VE GOT

GRIMSON, THAT'S PROBERT,

AND HERE THEY GO.

GRIMSON CAME RIGHT OFF OF

THE CHICAGO BENCH,

CAME AFTER PROBERT,

AND WAS YELLING AT HIM,

HE WANTED HIM TO GO.

AND HE GOT HIS WISH.

I THINK IT HAD A LOT TO DO WITH

JUST HIS PERSONAL DISREGARD

FOR HIS OWN

PHYSICAL WELLBEING.

HE WASN'T THE LEAST BIT

CONCERNED ABOUT GETTING HIT.

THE EMOTIONAL DRAIN OF

HAVING TO GET UP FOR A BATTLE

WITH A GUY LIKE PROBERT,

THAT CAN REALLY

CONSUME YOUR THOUGHTS

AND YOUR STATE OF MIND.

YOU JUST FEEL LIKE THERE'S

NO WAY YOU COULD HURT HIM.

HE HAD THAT BOB

PROBERT LOOK LIKE,

"I WANT TO KILL YOU."

PROBERT AND SIMPSON DROP

THE GLOVES AT CENTER!

HE WANTED TO KILL YOU

EVERY TIME YOU FOUGHT.

AND PROBERT

GOT IN ANOTHER!

AN UPPERCUT LANDED

FROM PROBERT,

AND NOW HE'S PLUGGING AWAY.

WITH THE RIGHT HAND LOOSE,

GOT A COUPLE INTO PROBERT.

PROBERT HASN'T EVEN

BEGUN TO FIGHT YET.

THERE WAS TWO SIDES OF BOB

AND YOU JUST DIDN'T

WANT TO BE ON THE WRONG ONE.

WE'VE GOT PROBERT AND TWIST,

TWO OF THE HEAVYWEIGHTS.

FOR BOB'S GENERATION OF HOCKEY,

HE WAS THE MEASURING STICK.

GOT TO STACK UP.

IF YOU'RE THE MEASURING STICK,

THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE MAN.

THESE GUYS ARE PURE

HEAVYWEIGHTS OF THIS LEAGUE.

YOU'RE GOING TO FIGHT THE

BIGGEST KID AT YOUR SCHOOL

IN THE FIELD AND

EVERYBODY'S GONNA WATCH.

WHEN HE WAS IN HIS WILD

AND CRAZY DAYS IN DETROIT,

YOU NEVER KNEW

WHAT HE WAS GOING TO DO.

DETROIT COMES AWAY AND

THE FIGHT'S ON BOB PROBERT.

OH MAN, JEREMY

ROENICK AND PROBERT.

NOW THE BLACKHAWKS

ARE TRYING TO GET IN.

THEY'VE GOT TO GET IN.

THERE'S NO CHOICE HERE.

JEREMY ROENICK IS A TOUGH

KID THAT'S A GAMER,

BUT FOR HIM TO STAND

TOE-TO-TOE WITH BOB PROBERT...

IT WAS THAT THAT SENSE

OF NOT KNOWING,

THAT SOMETIMES WAS MORE

FEARFUL ABOUT BOB.

PROBERT AGAIN, SENDS IT IN.

PROBERT AND MCSORLEY,

PROBERT TOOK A SWING AT HIM!

PROBERT AND MCSORLEY,

THEY'RE BUMPING!

THEY'RE NOT

DONE YET, OH NO.

THEY CAN'T STEP

INTO THESE PUNCHES.

THIS IS ONE OF THE LONGEST

FIGHTS I'VE EVER SEEN.

I'VE NEVER SEEN

ONE GO THIS LONG.

HIS BROTHER DIDN'T

WANT HIM MARRYING ME.

HE WAS GOING TO

GET A STACK OF MONEY

AND HEAD TO VEGAS

WITH HIS BROTHER.

I THINK IT WAS MY MAID

OF HONOR AND MY MOM

DISCUSSING IN THE HALLWAY

A LITTLE BIT OF, YEAH,

THEY'RE LOOKING FOR BOB,

THEY COULDN'T FIND BOB,

AND I WAS DETECTING A LITTLE

BIT OF PANIC IN THE ROOM.

IT JUST WAS A

TRAIN WRECK, RIGHT?

IT WASN'T A SMOOTH

TRANSITION TO GET BOB

TO THE WEDDING FACILITY,

I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

BOB, I'D JUST LIKE TO

SAY TAKE CARE OF OUR BABY.

YOU'RE THE SON THAT

LESLIE NEVER HAD.

YOU'VE TAKEN A DAUGHTER

THAT'S VERY PRECIOUS TO US,

AND WE LOVE YOU

BOTH VERY MUCH,

AND WE WISH YOU THE BEST

OF LIFE FROM HERE ON IN.

THE SWIRL OF ACTIVITY

THAT ALWAYS SURROUNDED BOB

WAS NOT SOMETHING I WAS EVER

REALLY COMFORTABLE WITH.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS

A FRENETIC PACE.

IT WAS JUST HIGH ENERGY,

IS PROBABLY THE BEST WAY...

ANYTHING HE DID WAS

ALWAYS HIGH ENERGY.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, ON JULY

3, 1993, 45 MINUTES LATE,

WE DID GET MARRIED.

IT HAPPENED.

HERE IS THE NEWLYWEDS,

BOBBY AND DANI!

IS SHE BEAUTIFUL OR WHAT?

LISTEN, I'VE GOT TO

ASK YOU THE QUESTION:

IS HE AS TOUGH AT HOME

AS HE IS ON THE ICE?

BIG TEDDY BEAR.

BIG TEDDY BEAR!

PUSH YOU AROUND, EH?

COME ON! HOLY COW, LOOK AT THAT!

SHE'S A BIG ONE.

I SPOKE LATER TO ONE OF

THE ARRESTING OFFICERS

THAT WAS THERE, AND HE TOLD

ME THAT WHEN HE LEANED OVER

BOB TRYING TO FIND OUT IF

HE WAS OKAY, BOB SAID

TO THE OFFICER, "JUST

ARREST ME WITH THE USUAL."

HE WAS HANDCUFFED TO A BED

IN THE ROOM WHEN I WALKED IN.

AND HE CRIED

WHEN HE SAW ME.

HE CRIED WHEN HE SAW ME IN MY

FULL EIGHT MONTHS OF PREGNANCY.

HE WAS ALWAYS WORRIED

ABOUT HURTING ME,

OR HURTING THE KIDS, THE PAIN

HE CAUSED OTHERS,

SO HIM LAYING EYES ON ME,

SEEING ME WADDLE IN,

IT HIT HIM AND HE KNEW

HE SCREWED UP BIG.

THE MEDIA IS ONCE

AGAIN BLOWN UP.

THEY HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO

THINK THAT HIS CAREER'S OVER,

THEN IT'S ANNOUNCED

IN THE MEDIA THAT

THE RED WINGS

HAVE CUT HIM LOOSE.

THE PHONE RINGS.

THEY'RE INVITING US TO COME

TO CHICAGO IN THE NEXT DAY.

24 HOURS LATER, BOB AND

I ARE IN MR. WIRTZ'S

BEAUTIFUL TOWN HOUSE ON

LAKE DRIVE IN CHICAGO.

AND AN ACCIDENT THAT

SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM

TOOK HIM TO A MILLION

DOLLAR ANNUAL RAISE.

UM... OKAY.

THE STRAPS GO IN

THE BACK, RIGHT?

EVERYTHING CHANGED.

EVERYTHING CHANGED INSTANTLY.

GOING TO CHICAGO,

IT WAS FULL TIME RECOVERY.

SO HE HAD EIGHT YEARS

OF SOBRIETY IN CHICAGO.

WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN

YOU KNOCK ON THE DOOR?

TRICK OR TREAT.

TRICK OR TREAT.

WHICH ONE'S YOUR FAVOURITE

PUMPKIN, BROGAN?

TRICK OR TREAT!

JUST LIKE THAT.

WHICH ONE'S YOUR

FAVOURITE PUMPKIN?

WHICH ONE DO

YOU LIKE BETTER?

THAT ONE.

YEAH, THAT'S DADDY'S.

ALL OF THE CUSHIONS OFF THE

COUCH AND US BOUNCING AROUND,

WHERE THERE WAS

JUMPING ON THE BED,

OR LISTENING TO OLDIES

AND HAVING A GOOD TIME,

AND BOB DANCING WITH THE KIDS

AND EACH OF THEM GETTING

THROWN AROUND AND

HAVING SO MUCH FUN.

EVERYTHING WAS

ADRENALINE BASED.

IT HAD TO BE ON

THE BOAT, TUBING,

IT HAD TO BE ON THE DIRT

BIKES, ON THE FOUR-WHEELERS,

ON THE MOTORCYCLES.

LIKE WE WERE ON

MOTORCYCLES BEFORE

WE COULD EVEN WALK,

WE WERE SITTING WITH HIM.

SO EVERYTHING WAS JUST

ON THE GO ALL THE TIME.

HE LOVED HIS DUCK CALL,

WHICH I'M SURE THE

OTHER KIDS WILL SAY THAT.

THAT DUCK CALL,

HE'D BE LIKE,

FROM A MILE AWAY.

THIS I'VE GOT TO GET.

BIG BOB.

PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE,

RIGHT THERE.

OH MY GOD, YOU'RE

SO GRACEFUL!

THE FIRST HALF

OF HIS CAREER

WHERE HE WASN'T

LOOKING AT YOU,

HE JUST SEEMED TO BE STARING

PAST YOU, AND YOU WERE,

YOU WERE ALMOST A NON-ENTITY

IN THE EQUATION.

HE HAD JUST THIS KIND OF

FACELESS COUNTENANCE ALMOST,

AND YOU WERE WAGING WAR

WITH THIS INANIMATE BEING.

I DIDN'T SEE THAT

THAT SAME VERSION OF BOB

TOWARDS THE END

OF HIS CAREER.

HE SEEMS FAR MORE HUMAN, FAR

MORE MORTAL THAN HE USED TO.

HE WAS IN THE LAST

YEAR HIS CONTRACT

AND HE WASN'T UNDER

THAT DRUG, ALCOHOL,

OR GAMBLING POLICY AT THE

BEGINNING OF THE YEAR

AND YOU JUST SAW HIM SLOWLY

STARTING TO FALL OFF

THE WAGON A LITTLE BIT.

YOU KNOW THEY CALL

HIM THE NIGHT BEFORE,

AND AS SOON AS THE DOOR

KNOCKED HE KNEW IT WAS A GUY

WHO WAS TAKING HIS

SAMPLE, AND BEFORE

HE ANSWERED THE DOOR YOU

WOULD TAKE THAT URINE

THAT WAS CLEAN AND PUT

IN THE MICROWAVE FOR,

I DON'T KNOW, A SMALL

AMOUNT OF SECONDS.

HE KNEW THAT TEMPERATURE WHERE

THE PEE HAS TO BE FOR WHEN

THEY TAKE A TEMPERATURE

SO THEY KNOW IT'S REAL.

IF HE WANTED TO DO SOMETHING,

HE FOUND WAYS TO DO IT.

HIS INTAKE OF PILLS

WAS PRETTY EXCESSIVE.

I REMEMBER HE WOULD

TAKE OXY 80S, AND WHAT

HE WOULD DO IS DIP THEM

IN COCA-COLA TO TAKE THE

TIMED RELEASE OFF AND USE ONE

OF THOSE FOOT FILE SCRAPERS,

SCRAPE THEM DOWN

AND SNORT THEM.

I HATED SEEING IT,

AND I REMEMBER HIM DOING

UP TO 18 A DAY, AND THAT'S

ENOUGH TO KILL ANYBODY.

IT WAS LEGIT.

HE HAD BACK PAIN.

THERE WERE DAYS WHERE I

HAD TO PUSH HIM OUT OF BED

WITH BOTH FEET TO

HELP HIM GET UP.

THERE'S NO DENYING HE

WAS IN A LOT OF PAIN.

BUT THE DOCTOR WAS QUICK

TO PRESCRIBE THE OPIOIDS.

I THINK IN THE END,

THE OPIATES GOT AHOLD

OF HIM AND TOOK HIM DOWN.

YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER

BOB WAS IN A LOT OF FIGHTS

AND HE LIVED

IN BODILY PAIN DAILY.

AND THAT'S

WHAT THEY GAVE HIM,

AND THEY'RE SO EASY

TO GET ADDICTED TO.

HOCKEY PLAYERS

ABUSE THEIR BODIES.

FIGHTERS REALLY

ABUSED THEIR BODY.

LIKE YOU'RE JAMMING SHOULDERS

AND BACKS AND NECKS AND HANDS,

AND SO I HAD

MANY, MANY FRIENDS

THAT WERE FIGHTERS

THAT DID A LOT OF PILLS.

I DON'T THINK THE AVERAGE

EVERYDAY PERSON DOESN'T -

WOULD NEVER UNDERSTAND

THE PUNISHMENT

WE PUT OUR BODIES

THROUGH EVERY DAY.

THE STRESS, THE STRAIN,

THE BEATING,

AND I MEAN IT'S CONSTANT,

AND IT'S EVERY DAY.

I COULD TELL YOU, BUT

YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE.

HE HAD CTE.

DR. MCKEE, IN THE

CONFERENCE CALL THAT WE HAD,

BASICALLY WAS SAYING THAT

ON A SCALE OF ONE TO FOUR,

HE WAS A TWO,

BORDERING ON A THREE.

YOU CAN'T SIT THERE AND

SPECULATE WHETHER OR NOT

HE WOULD HAVE HAD DEMENTIA,

EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA,

ALZHEIMERS, BUT

THE LIKELIHOOD WAS YES.

I REMEMBER JUST PLAYING HIDE

AND SEEK WITH HIM ONE DAY

AND I WAS, I KID YOU NOT,

PROBABLY THE SAME SPACE

BETWEEN ME AND YOU,

I WAS STANDING RIGHT

IN FRONT OF HIM AND HE

HONESTLY COULDN'T EVEN SEE ME.

IT'S LIKE I WASN'T

EVEN THERE TO HIM.

AND I WAS LITERALLY

TALKING TO HIM,

HE WAS JUST, LIKE,

VERY CONFUSED.

YOU COULD BRING UP

SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED

A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO

AND HE WOULDN'T KNOW,

OR HE WOULDN'T REMEMBER.

I DON'T WANT TO

GET ON THAT SHIT.

IF I GET INTO CONCUSSIONS,

YOU NOTICE ON COACH'S CORNER,

I NEVER TALK

ABOUT CONCUSSIONS,

BECAUSE YOU'RE REALLY

GETTING INTO SOMETHING.

YOU GUYS BETTER

BE VERY CAREFUL

BECAUSE THAT'S A

TOUCHY SUBJECT RIGHT NOW.

HE'S GOT THE MACHINEGUN.

BOY OH BOY, HE HIT HIM

RIGHT ON THE BUTTON.

THE REASON I HAD TO

LEAVE THE GAME ULTIMATELY

WAS DUE TO

POST CONCUSSION SYNDROME.

DOMI COME UP WITH A HIT.

DOMI IS HIT HIMSELF.

DOMI'S TOUGH,

BUT YOU CAN SEE HE WENT

HEADFIRST INTO THE GLASS.

I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

I ALWAYS TELL DOCTORS THAT

ARE TRYING TO GET ME IN THESE

SCANNING MACHINES, I DON'T WANT

TO BREAK THEIR MACHINES.

BUT THE REALITY IS I SHOULD

BE TAKING CARE OF MYSELF

BECAUSE OF THINGS THAT

HAPPENED TO GUYS LIKE BOB

AND OTHER PEOPLE,

BUT I THINK IT'S JUST US,

OUR STUBBORNNESS AND STUFF.

TRYING TO CHANGE A LITTLE

BIT AT A TIME, TO REALLY

THINK OF MY KIDS, AND

MY FAMILY, AND MY WIFE,

AND EVERYBODY

BECAUSE IT'S REAL.

LIFE IS A VERY

DELICATE THING.

I THINK, WHEN YOU'RE

NOT PREPARED FOR IT,

LIKE NOBODY WAS FOR BOB,

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN TO

ANYBODY AT ANY GIVEN TIME.

AND FLYNN GOES DOWN AND

TAKES ANOTHER RIGHT HAND,

AND MORE RIGHT

HANDS FROM PARKER!

I'VE HIT SOME

PEOPLE PRETTY HARD,

AND I'VE FELT THINGS BREAK,

AND I'VE FELT THINGS SHIFT,

AND I'VE FELT THINGS MOVE, AND

I THINK TO MYSELF, "OH NO."

AND YOU KIND OF HAVE

THAT YOU KNOW SENSE OF,

YOU KNOW, OH SHIT,

WHAT DID I JUST DO?

IT WAS ALMOST A WAR MENTALITY,

LIKE KILL OR BE KILLED.

PROBERT HIT HIM WITH

A RIGHT! ANOTHER ONE!

YOU KNOW, GETTING PUNCHED

REALLY HARD IN THE HEAD DOES

DO THINGS TO YOU OVER TIME,

AND AT THE END OF THE DAY,

YOU DO WANT A QUALITY

OF LIFE WHERE YOU WANT

TO BE ABLE TO HOLD

YOUR KIDS AND DO THINGS

WITH YOUR KIDS AND NOT BE

COOPED UP IN A BASEMENT

BECAUSE LIGHT

AFFECTS YOU SO BAD

THAT IT JUST

SENDS YOU INTO A TIZZY.

THE POST CAREER IS

TOUGH ON A LOT OF GUYS.

PLENTY OF PLAYERS

STRUGGLING WITH THAT NOT

BEING AROUND THE GUYS,

NOT HAVING YOUR REGIMENTS

SCHEDULED TO FOLLOW, AND

YOU KNOW, BEING ON THE BUS,

BEING AT THE RINK

AT CERTAIN TIMES.

SO YOU FIND YOURSELF WITH SO

MUCH TIME AND NOTHING TO DO.

YOU MISS THE GUYS.

GOOD MORNING!

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2002.

IT TAKES ITS TOLL ON YOU.

I THINK BOB FELT THAT

AND, YOU KNOW, LIKE I DID.

WE FELT LIKE WE WERE KIND

OF LETTING THE TEAM DOWN,

THE FANS DOWN, AND

IT WAS A TOUGH TIME.

AND THEN YOU'RE LEFT WITH

NOTHING AND YOU'RE HOME

WITH THE WIFE AND KIDS

AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST

YOU DON'T HAVE THAT VOID,

THAT ADRENALINE RUSH

YOU NEED TO FILL.

HO, HO, HO,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

CHRISTMAS AFTERNOON.

HOW ARE YOU?

WHAT TIME IS IT?

WE'VE BEEN VIDEOTAPING YOU

WITH TOYS ON YOUR HEAD,

STUFF STUCK TO

YOU, EVERYTHING,

AND YOU HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED.

WHERE'S MY TOYS?

I'LL GIVE

YOU A FAMILY SHOT.

HOW'S THAT FOR

A FAMILY SHOT.

GET IN THERE.

I WANT SOME LOVING HERE.

CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE?

CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE

THIS CHRISTMAS MORNING?

HO, HO, HO.

HE JUST WANT TO GO AWOL.

HE JUST WANTED

TO DISAPPEAR

AND DIDN'T WANT US

TO SEE THIS SIDE OF HIM.

HE WANTED TO PROTECT US FROM

THAT BAD SIDE OF WHO HE WAS.

BUT NO, HE WAS

VERY ASHAMED.

YOU COULD SEE IT IN

HIS FACE, THAT WAS JUST

SOMETHING IN HIS EYES,

YOU COULD SEE THE SADNESS

WHEN HE WOULD COME HOME, AND

THAT WOULD BE SO HEARTBREAKING.

"DEAR DISEASE, YOU HAVE

TAKEN AWAY MY FREEDOM

TO MAKE HEALTHY CHOICES.

YOU HAVE TAKEN AWAY

MY VALUABLE TIME

FROM MY WONDERFUL WIFE,

DANI, AND MY FOUR KIDS.

YOU HAVE TAKEN AWAY MY

SELF-RESPECT AND DIGNITY.

YOU HAVE TURNED ME

INTO SOMEONE I AM NOT.

YOU HAVE HURT

ME FINANCIALLY.

YOU HAVE CONTROLLED MY

THOUGHTS AND MY FEELINGS.

YOU TOOK ME AWAY FROM THINGS

I USED TO DO TO HAVE FUN.

YOU TOOK AWAY MY

ABILITY TO KEEP PROMISES

BY RUNNING MY WILL.

AT TIMES YOU TOOK ME AWAY FROM

PEOPLE THAT TRULY LOVE ME.

YOU TOOK AWAY FROM ME

OUR TWINS' BIRTHDAY.

YOU TOOK AWAY FROM ME

CHRISTMAS OF 2002.

YOU TOOK A LOT FROM ME,

BUT THAT IS ABOUT TO STOP.

TO CHANGE."

THAT'S WHEN HE ENDED

UP GOING TO FLORIDA,

TO THE KAREN FOUNDATION.

THAT WAS THE REHAB THAT REALLY

HELPED HIM, REALLY CLICKED.

HE WAS DOING THE HALFWAY

HOUSE PART OF IT.

HE WAS ARRESTED.

TASERED THREE TIMES.

YEAH, THREE TIMES.

SOILED HIMSELF.

WAS THROWN IN JAIL.

GOT ACCUSED OF TRYING

TO CLOG THE PLUMBING,

BUT IT WAS...

HE WAS TRYING TO

RINSE OUT HIS BOXERS.

NOT ONE OF HIS GREATEST

HIGHLIGHTS IN HIS LIFE,

THAT'S FOR SURE.

IT WAS A TERRIBLE TIME.

WHEN BOB WAS

DRINKING HE HAD A...

HE WAS A DIFFERENT PERSON.

HE WASN'T BOB.

I THINK WHEN HE DRANK, HE

TURNED OFF THAT FAMILY SWITCH.

I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER

SEEN HIM THAT MESSED UP.

IT WAS CRAZY.

HE HAD CRAZY EYES AND

THE WAY HE WAS ACTING,

HE WAS FLIPPING OUT.

HE HAD THE BUTCHER

BLOCK OF KNIVES.

I HAD CALLED MY FATHER,

AND I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

AND HE'S LIKE, "YOU NEED

TO HANG UP AND CALL 911."

HE WAS JUST GRABBING

THINGS AND THROWING THEM

AND THERE WAS JUST NO

GETTING THROUGH TO HIM.

SAY, "HEY, SLOW DOWN.

YOU'RE RUINING YOUR HOUSE OR

YOU'RE GOING TO HURT SOMEBODY.

SLOW THE HELL DOWN."

FINALLY THE COPS

CAME AND GRABBED HIM

AND TONED HIM DOWN.

HE WAS PEPPER-SPRAYED

ON THE FRONT PORCH.

AND I JUST, I

REMEMBER SEEING THAT.

I WAS ANGRY WITH THE

POLICE FOR TAKING HIM AWAY,

I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND,

HE WAS MY DAD.

HE WAS MY SUPERHERO.

HE COULDN'T BE DOING

ANYTHING WRONG.

I PACKED UP THE KIDS

AND TOOK OFF FOR A WHILE.

WHEN THEY HAD THEIR

LITTLE TRIAL PERIOD THERE,

MAYBE THAT SCARED HIM.

MAYBE HE THOUGHT HE

WAS GOING TO LOSE HER.

THE THOUGHT OF LOSING HER

WOULD HAVE DEVASTATED HIM.

WE CAME BACK WITHIN A

COUPLE OF WEEKS,

AND I THINK THAT'S WHEN WE

BUCKLED DOWN AND STARTED,

YOU KNOW,

COMING UP WITH SOME PLANS

AS FAR AS WHAT

NEEDED TO BE DONE NEXT.

HE DID SEE THAT HIS ACTIONS,

HOW THEY WERE

AFFECTING THE KIDS,

AND THAT'S WHEN HE WAS

GETTING HIS SHIT TOGETHER.

THAT'S WHEN HE WAS

STARTING TO BE MORE PRESENT

AND MORE INVOLVED,

NOT MISSING THINGS,

MORE RESPONSIBLE.

THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS

I MISS ABOUT THAT GUY.

YEAH, HE DID CARE.

NO CONCEPT OF

TIME, THAT WAS BOB.

BUT HIM WALKING DOWN THE HALL,

AND I CAN PICTURE

IT IN OUR OLD HOUSE.

HE WOULD START AT BROGAN'S

ROOM AND HE WOULD SAY -

YOU KNOW, THEY CAN BE SOUND

ASLEEP OR READING A BOOK,

DIDN'T MATTER.

"GOODNIGHT

BROGITA CHIQUITA.

BROGITA CHIQUITA BANANA,"

GIVE HER A KISS, "I LOVE YOU."

THEN HE WOULD GO TO TEA ROSE

OR TT LEE, TIERNEY ROSE,

HAD TO ANNOUNCE THIS

LITTLE GOOFY NAME HE WOULD

HAVE FOR THEM,

AND SAME THING,

"I LOVE YOU," AND

A KISS GOODNIGHT.

AND THEN INTO DUCKY'S ROOM

WITH HIS FAMOUS DUCK CALL

AND GIVE HER THE, "I LOVE YOU,"

AND A KISS GOODNIGHT.

AND THE LAST ONE WOULD

ALWAYS BE, "JACK, MY BOY,"

AND THE SAME.

"I LOVE YOU. GOODNIGHT."

AND HE'D ALWAYS COME IN,

"DAN-DAN, BABY,"

AND I'D GET THE SAME THING.

SO WHETHER HE WAS WORKING

ON THE CAR OR THE MOTORCYCLE,

PUTZING AROUND

IN THE GARAGE, OR GOING

INTO THE KITCHEN

TO MAKE SOME TOAST

OR ONE OF HIS FAVORITE

LATE NIGHT SNACKS,

WE ALL GOT THE

"GOODNIGHT, I LOVE YOU."

AND THEN HE'D

GO OFF AND DO HIS THING

OR HE'D JUST GO TO BED.

YEAH, THAT ONE

ALWAYS GETS ME.

OKAY, PULL IT

TOGETHER, LET'S GO.

WE LEFT THE HOUSE

AT AROUND ONE O'CLOCK.

IT WAS A HOT DAY, AND

WE TOOK OFF HEADING EAST.

WE WERE FURTHER DOWN THE

LAKE AND WE WERE COMING IN

THIS DIRECTION, COMING

HERE TO THE RIVER FOR LUNCH.

THERE WAS A NOISE

COMING FROM THE BOAT.

AND HE WAS SIX FOOT FOUR

AND TWO HUNDRED AND WHATEVER

BENT OVER ON A

NINETY FIVE DEGREE DAY

OVER THE SIDE OF THE BOAT,

WORKING HIS WAY,

AND HE WAS MID BOAT

WHEN HE GOT TO, YEAH,

HE JUST COLLAPSED.

HE WAS ON HIS KNEES.

THAT'S WHEN

I COULD SEE HIS FACE

AND I COULD SEE

HIS LIPS GOING...

HIS LIPS WERE BLACK, HIS

LIPS KEPT CHANGING COLOR

AND HIS TONGUE,

AND I COULD SEE THAT,

AND THEY LAID HIM DOWN.

AND MY STEPFATHER WAS A

POLICE OFFICER, HE STARTED

TO PERFORM CPR, DOING DO

THE CHEST COMPRESSIONS

AND MOUTH TO MOUTH.

AND I IMMEDIATELY CALLED

911 AND I COULDN'T FIND,

I WAS GET DISORIENTED, I

COULDN'T SEE WHERE WE WERE.

I KNEW WE WERE PAST THE

SANDBAR, I DIDN'T KNOW HOW FAR.

IT WAS HARD TO PINPOINT

WHERE WE WERE.

HIS FACE WAS

COMPLETELY BLUE.

LIKE HE WAS

PURPLE AND BLUE.

THAT'S WHY I SAID,

"DAD, I LOVE YOU,"

BECAUSE I WANTED TO

BE ABLE TO REMEMBER

WHAT MY LAST WORDS WERE TO HIM.

I JUST REMEMBER SAYING

"BABY, WHERE ARE THE KEYS,

I CAN'T FIND THE KEYS."

AND HE MANAGED TO TOUCH

THE SEAT, SO I KNOW THE KEYS

WERE TUCKED IN BEHIND,

THEY MUST HAVE FALLEN BACK.

I GRABBED THE KEYS

AND I DIDN'T...

THEY ONLY STARTED THE ONE

ENGINE, IT WAS A JET BOAT,

I DIDN'T START BOTH ENGINES,

AND I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND

WHY WE WEREN'T GOING.

AND THEN KAI MADE IT TO

THE BOAT, AND IT WAS

MY FIRST INTRODUCTION TO KAI,

AND HE JUMPED ON THE BOAT

AND I GOT ON HIS JET SKI

AND HE BROUGHT THE BOAT

IN TO SHORE.

I WENT TO THEM AND ASKED

THEM WHAT'S WRONG.

AND THEN DANI SAYS,

"CAN YOU BRING THE BOAT IN?"

I REMEMBER SCREAMING

FOR THE PARAMEDICS

AND RUNNING TO THE ROAD

AND FLAGGING DOWN

THE PARAMEDICS TO GET TO THE

SHORE AND HELP ME WITH BOB,

GET THEM TO THE DOCK,

AND THEN TO GET MY KIDS

OFF THE BOAT AND

EVERYBODY OUT OF THE WAY.

AND I JUST REMEMBER COMING

ON SHORE, RUSHING TO THE ROAD,

GETTING THE

PARAMEDICS TO THE BACK,

AND THEN CLEARING OFF THE

BOAT, GETTING THE KIDS OFF

AND PLACING THEM OVER

BY THE FENCE AREA.

WE MADE IT TO THE HOSPITAL

AND ALL I COULD THINK OF

ON THE DRIVE TO

THE HOSPITAL WAS

CALLING UP PEOPLE TO

GET MY KIDS ROUNDED UP.

I HAD DECLYN AT A

SLEEPOVER, A BIRTHDAY PARTY,

AND BROGAN

WAS AT THE NEW JOB.

AND I WAS SO AFRAID THAT

THEY WERE GOING TO HEAR

SOMETHING ON THE RADIO.

SO I HAD TO GET

THEM ROUNDED UP

AND GET EVERYBODY HOME

AND JUST KEEP THEM PROTECTED.

AND THIS WHOLE TIME I DIDN'T

KNOW THAT BOB HAD DIED,

I HADN'T BEEN TOLD YET.

AND THEY CALLED MY MOM

INTO A SEPARATE ROOM,

AND THE DOCTOR CAME.

AND THE DOCTOR CAME IN AND

TOLD ME THAT HE DIDN'T MAKE IT.

I WAS WALKING UPSTAIRS

AND MY PHONE WENT OFF AND

SOMEONE WAS LIKE, "I'M SO

SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DAD."

AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

AND THEY'RE LIKE,

"I'M SORRY ABOUT YOU DAD.

I'M SORRY TO

HEAR ABOUT HIM,

I'M SORRY THAT HE PASSED AWAY."

AND I RESPONDED LIKE,

"HE'S NOT DEAD.

HE'S JUST IN THE HOSPITAL,

HE'S GOING TO BE FINE.

HE'S NOT DEAD."

BECAUSE THE NEWS OUTLETS

HEARD ABOUT IT BEFORE WE DID,

SO PEOPLE

STARTED TEXTING US.

I REMEMBER WALKING IN AND

ALL OF THEM IN A LITTLE HUDDLE

IN THE FAMILY ROOM

AROUND THE COFFEE TABLE,

AND THEY ALL LOOKED UP AT

ME WHEN I WALKED IN

AND ALL I COULD SAY WAS,

"YOUR DAD LOVED YOU SO MUCH."

AND I COULDN'T

GET OUT ANYMORE.

"YOUR DAD LOVED

YOU VERY MUCH.

BUT THEY COULDN'T DO

ANYTHING ELSE TO HELP THEM -

TO HELP HIM."

AND THAT'S WHEN AT THAT

MOMENT WE ALL JUST GOT -

WE ALL JUST BROKE.

AND I WENT OUT BACK AND

I STARTED CRYING OUTSIDE.

EVERYONE WAS JUST

CRYING EVERYWHERE.

MY COUSIN WAS THERE, AND

WE ALL WERE JUST LIKE,

"THERE'S NO WAY.

THERE'S NO WAY

THAT HAPPENED."

HE WAS SUCH A BIG - HE WAS

SO FULL OF LIFE AND SUCH

A BIG PRESENCE IN OUR LIVES

THAT JUST TO THINK THAT,

OH, HE'S GONE LIKE THAT.

THAT WAS JULY 5TH, 2010.

IT WAS A MASSIVE HEART ATTACK.

IT WASN'T VERY GOOD.

NOT GOOD AT ALL.

IT WAS SUCH A SHOCKER.

WE DID

EVERYTHING TOGETHER.

WE'RE ONLY 13

MONTHS APART.

HE WAS SOMEONE THAT ALWAYS

SEEMED INVINCIBLE, I GUESS.

THAT'S WHY IT WAS SUCH

A SHOCK WHEN HE DIED.

HE ALWAYS SEEMED

TO SURVIVE ANYTHING.

BUT YEAH, IT'S STILL

HARD TO BELIEVE.

I WAS SAD THAT

HE WASN'T THERE FOR ME

GRADUATING COLLEGE OR

FOR MY PROM, AND I KNOW

A WEDDING ONE DAY, IF THAT

HAPPENS, THAT'S DEFINITELY

GOING TO BE HARD BECAUSE

THERE'S NO ONE THERE

TO WALK YOU DOWN THE AISLE,

OR TO HAVE THAT FIRST

FATHER/DAUGHTER DANCE.

SO YEAH, I KNOW THAT

IN THE FUTURE

AND IF I'M HAVING BABIES AND

HE DOESN'T GET TO MEET THEM,

AND THEY DON'T GET TO

UNDERSTAND HOW COOL OF A PERSON

MY DAD WAS, THOSE ARE

DEFINITELY THINGS THAT,

YEAH, I MISS

HIM BEING HERE.

YOU'RE JUST LIKE, "WOW, I

WISH I HAD HIM TO GIVE ME

ADVICE ON THIS," OR,

"I WISH I COULD HAVE A HUG,"

OR, "I WISH I COULD JUST

HEAR HIM LAUGH AGAIN."

THERE'S CERTAIN THINGS

YOU DON'T KNOW,

AND YOU EXPECT THAT YOU

WOULD NEED HIM TO HELP YOU

GROW THROUGHOUT CERTAIN

SITUATIONS IN YOUR LIFE,

AND EVERY DAY'S DIFFERENT,

EVERY DAY YOU CAN -

YOU THINK ABOUT HIM MORE,

YOU MISS HIM MORE, AND SOMETIMES

- IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO

BE IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD,

BUT SOME DAYS

IT'S JUST, "WOW,

I WISH I HAD HIM HERE TO

GET ME THROUGH THIS DAY."

HAVING HIM ABSENT IS

DEFINITELY DIFFICULT SOMETIMES,

BUT THEN YOU LOOK

AROUND AND YOU ARE LIKE,

"YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE WOULD BE PROUD

OF ME REGARDLESS."

AND JUST BECAUSE

HE'S NOT HERE PHYSICALLY

DOESN'T MEAN HE'S NOT

LOOKING DOWN ON US,

BECAUSE I THINK HE IS.