Total Chaos (2014) - full transcript

Settled in London, Aman hopes to marry Asha, an Indian woman also based in London. He visits her parents' house to seek their permission to marry her. However, his plans to impress the family start failing when they discover that he is a Pakistani.

Mom, I told you please don't worry.

Why shouldn't I worry?

Why don't you give me some guidance?

I'm meeting him for the first time.

At least tell me what he likes to eat.

Mom, Aman likes everything.

You can cook anything you want.

Are you sure?

Don't complain about the food later.

Mom, Aman's calling.
We'll meet in the evening, okay.

Bye. - Bye, dear.

Where have you reached?

Yes, two minutes away.

Have you reached? - Yes.

Are you really coming?

You're asking that
for the fourth time.

Don't you trust me?

No, did you buy gifts?

Gifts, for my family.
- Yes, I did.

What did you buy?
- A small bomb.

Stop joking.
- Joking?

I don't joke.
I really did.

10-02 to Control.

Aman, I am really nervous.

Why are you nervous?

You know why.

Don't be nervous because of me?

Have faith in me and in God.

Yours or mine?

Whoever's on duty?

Where are you?

"You're like the
sweet supple fragrance."

"Like the miracle of morning."

"You're this moment."

"Li ke the cascade amongst the clouds."

"If I touch you, you'll fly away."

"If I hold you, you shy away."

"Turn around, sweetheart."

"Hear me and say what's on yours."

"Take me in your arms."

"My heart's feels young."

"Turn around, sweetheart."

"You're my dawn."

"The tranqui lity of my si lence."

"You're the limits of my love."



Leave. Leave.

Control, man down.
- Aman. Leave.

Leave. What the hell are you doing?


And who do we have here?

Aman Ali.

He's a Pakistani.

And is that his only crime?

He was talking about bombing, sir.

And did you find something on him?

We found these, sir.

I suspect its some
form of new language..

.they have started to use, sir.

Looks like Arabic from an angle.

Like here...

...and here.

You see.

And the girl?

I want his clothes to
be given to him right now!

Right here, right now!
- She's Indian.

I feel she's her accomplice.

Like an Indo-Pak operation, sir.

And this guy looks like a terrorist.
Mr. Percy?

Don't they all?

It's high time we did
something about it, sir.

It's high time someone
put a straight jacket on you.

You dumba**.

Release him at once and
say sorry for your stupidity.



once again apologies, Mr. Ali.


I am sorry, Mr. Ali. - Well..

Clearly the donuts aren't helping,
are they?

Let's go.

Can't believe this.

Bloody morons!

I am going to put this on my channel.

And Twitter.

I am going to make
sure those guys are sacked.

How could they strip
you off your clothes?

And this is how they returned them.

They could've at least ironed your clothes?
- Sweetheart.

we were at the police station.
- So?

Not at the drycleaners?
- So.

We can't take you home like this?

We'll have to buy new clothes.

Let me check.

Listen, Asha,
I don't think we should do this today.

It's not a good sign.

What? - Meeting your parents
for the first time, what else?

My mom called,
they are already.. - Asha.

It's not a good day today.

I feel.. - Shut up and stop thinking.

How can I stop thinking?

Few minutes ago I was at the
police station without my clothes.

And now I am going
to meet your parents..

..regarding our marriage, and that
too meeting them for the first time.

Everything's happening
so quickly, Asha.

I haven't evolved from one shock..

..and another's
knocking at my doorstep.

Take my advice.

Let's do it some other day.
- Relax.

Nothing will happen.

That's what scares me.
What if nothing happens at all?

I mean, I really want
something to happen.

I want to like your family
and want them to accept me too.

We.. - Will you shut
up or should I make you?

You do it.

"You're like the dew drops."

"Like the morning rays."

"You make every season,
blossom li ke spring."

"Li ke words in a song."

"Narrating sweet melodies."

"When I blink,
I see you in front of me."

"Warm my cold breaths."

"Turn around, sweetheart."

"Your love means my entire world."

"You dwell in my soul."

"I am lost in your love."

"Turn around, sweetheart."

"I've witnessed God in you."

"Your grace is li ke devotion."

"You're the limits of my love."

Let it be.

No one's going to bite you.

Are you sure?




okay, no matter what happens..

..nothing's going
to change between us.



I love you.

I love you too.


You never told me anything
about your family.

It would've been easier if.. had told me
something about them.

You'll be meeting them.

Who's at home?
- Everyone.

You've to meet everyone, come on.

Mom, look Raj and Simran.

Very good, dear.


Very good, mom.

You aren't ready yet?

He isn't coming to see me.

Wow, nice!

You didn't cook all
this when it was my time.

Now don't say that
your husband left you..

..because, we didn't cook
all this during your time.

Sorry, dear.

You see, I've lost my mind.

I'm blabbering nonsense
because I'm worried.

No problem,
mom, I'm getting used to it now.

Don't mind.

Go and put something on.

And see where your brother is..
- Mom.

Hello. Yes.

What time's the class?

I know.
- Anjali, answer the door.

Hi, Anjali. - Who are you?

You didn't recognize me? - No?

You don't know me? - No.

Asha aunty.

Mom, Asha auntie's here.

Very good, dear. Let them in.

Let's go.


What happened? - I am pregnant.



Is it a boy or a girl? - Both.

Have you thought of a name?

Raj and Simran.


This is Aman. - Hi.

Say hello. - No.

I've a sweet gift for her. - Yes.

Very, very,
nice and cute doll for you.

Wow. - Just li ke you.

So pretty. - Here you go.

oh, God!


Sorry. - No, it's okay.

She's a kid. What can we do?

I hope you like kids?

Yes, but not like her.

How will our children be?

They will be fine if they're like me.

They will be fine if they're like you?

Asha. - Coming, mom.

Come on. Mom.

Mom. - Asha.

My sweetheart.

Curse you, don't you get food to eat?

You've lost so much weight.

You look fine on the television.

Mom, this is why I look
fine on the television.

Why don't you visit us every weekend?

I yearn to see you. - Mom.

And anyway,
after you're married.. - Mom.

Aman. - Greetings.

Mom, you promised.

Thank you, son.

Your aunt had called,
the wretch was saying..

.."Why a Muslim boy".

I said "It's Asha's choice".

End of discussion.

Right, son.
Will you keep Asha happy?


Speak louder, we are Punjabis.

Yes, yes, I'll keep her happy.

That's more like it.


Mom. I am going to kill this guy.

This Pakistani's going
to die by my hands today.

Hey, sis. - Manav.

What's up?
- How are you?

It's been so long.
What have you don't to your hair?

They really love each other. - Yes.

Back in college, some boy teased Asha.

When Manav found out,
he thrashed him black and blue..

..and, spent the entire
night behind bars.

Why are you screaming?

That Pakistani who lives
in the flat right below us.

He parked his car in my
space again and disappeared.

That's how these Pakistanis are.

They always park in the wrong place.

Manav, Aman.

Hey. Manav.

Mom. Where's my hockey?

It's in your room along
with your baseball bats.

But not today, son.
We've guests at home.

I know, I'll cut
their cable connection.

He won't listen.

These Pakistanis won't
stop making trouble.

Go and meet grandpa.

He's been asking since morning..

.."Where's Asha,
when is she coming".


I'll just.



You didn't tell them
I am a Pakistani.

I told them you're a Muslim.

That means you didn't
tell them I am a Pakistani.

These guys hate Pakistanis.

Easy, I don't want them to judge you..

..on the fact that you're a Pakistani.

That's it. - Some Pakistani took his..

..parking space on the
fact that you're a Pakistani.

If I talk about you,
God knows what he'll..


What relax?

And who named him Manav?

Daddy did.
Aman, you're over-reacting.

I am not...over-reacting.

This is not about Hindu-Muslim..

It's about India and Pakistan.

Will you shut up or should I make you?

You do it.

Nothing's going to happen.
- I believe that too.

Nothing's going to happen.

You're laughing? - okay, I'll
speak to them myself, don't worry.

Please take your own
sweet time and start...

Start with your mother.

And if possible, tell Manav
over the phone a day or two later.

What.. - Don't laugh.

okay. Let's go meet grandpa.

Speak louder, he's hard of hearing.

of course he's hard of hearing.
He's Punjabi after all.

Not just that,
he's actually hard of hearing.

Come on.




How are you?
- My dear..

I am fine. - Guess who's here?

Guess who's here? - Who?

Guess? - Who?

Is he a boy or a girl?

Grandpa, he's a boy.

He seems frightened.

Because he just met Manav. - I see.

How old are you? - 28.

28! - What do you do?

I play the guitar.

Son, even I play the guitar.

But what do you do?

I.. I mean..

Aman is a musician, grandpa.
- Musician.

I see, no wonder..

You should exercise, son. - Yes.

Look here.

Made in 1930.

In the 1971 war,
I was shot here and here.

Still, I didn't desert post.

13 days war with Pakistan.

We defeated them.

Why didn't you join the army?

Even if I did, I couldn't
have fought against Pakistan.


There are no more wars, grandpa.

There will be, dear.

There will be a war.

"There will be!"

Tell him.

You said he's hard of hearing.

Lee Enfield Mark 4.

British infantry rifle.

I killed 4 Pakistanis with this.

The 5th shot me.

Anjali, what are you doing here?

Father, didn't I
tell you not to do it.

Let go of these bullets
and take these pills.

Why are you crying?

Everyone's lost their mind.
Pointing guns at children.

No, no..

Don't cry.

Sorry, mom, I didn't see.
- It's okay, dear.

Anjali, stop crying.

Jia, stop screaming.

What do you want, dear? - Band-aid.


Raj and Simran are hurt.

You and your Raj-Simran.

Come, I'll take a look.
Come on, dear.

Come on. Come on.

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

We'll give you a band-aid.

Come on, dear.


Sit here. Sit.

Sit comfortably.

Here you go, band-aid.

What's this, mom?


Anti-depressants? Why?

The doctor has prescribed them, dear.

He says it's best for sadness.


Dear, I went to see the doctor.

I couldn't say anything.

He looked at me for a while..

..and then prescribed
a medicine for me.

What kind of a doctor is he?
- He's Indian.

But, what are you
depressed about, mom?

About what?

Have you seen your sister?

Have you seen your brother?

Your grandma.


Have you seen your father?

No. Where's dad?

At the office, where else?

He's been demoted, dear.

The car just got smaller.

He knows his future
son-in-law's coming home.

But he can come home
only when his boss lets him.

And you know your brother
really well.

I don't know when he's
ever going to change?

And your sister.

She's a 5 year old daughter..

..but she isn't responsible.

She doesn't want to
apologies to her husband..

..and go back home.

Why don't you explain her?

Isn't her dance school doing well?

That's the problem.

I can't figure out the
kind of friends she's made.

They come home too.

They look like goons.

Why did you gesture at Aman?

No, I didn't mean that.

I hope you don't feel
that we're a crazy family.

No, I don't feel that at all.

Why are you holding that?
Give it to me.

Who else do you have in your family?

I have a father, mother..

.three brothers, four sisters..

..and by grace of God, myself.

And where in India do you hail from?



- Mom, he's a Pakistani.

- Me!

"Hail Goddess."

"All say, hail Goddess."

"Everyone say, hai I Goddess."

"Hai I Goddess."

"All say, hai I Goddess."

"Goddess, You're our only refuge."

"Hai I Goddess."

"All say, hai I Goddess."

Mom, say something.

What do I say?

You two have lost your mind?

You two have gone crazy? - Why?


Ashaa, up till Muslim was fine.

But Pakistani?

Asha, couldn't you find an Indian.

Indians kill Pakistanis
and Pakistanis kill Indians.

We aren't doing anything like that.
- Not yet.

But you will do it later.

This will never work, dear.
- But it's working out.

Because it's all new.

Later you will strangle each other.

Have you thought about your children?

We have.

Aman wants a daughter..

..and we will call her Shanti.

That won't bring any
peace in your family.

Have you seen Manav?

I named him Manav (Human)..

..but, he's turned into a cannibal.

The beans are cooked.


I'll take care of it.
- I'll come too.

You wait.

Switch off the gas.

And, there's soup in the freezer,
keep it to defrost.

Yes, I'll do it.

See you. - See you.

Mom, we love each other.

To hell with your love.

After 1947, there can be
no love between India and Pakistan.

It all ended right there.


Can't even walk,
but likes to play with a knife.

Where's the soup?

Is this soup or brick?

I asked her to postpone
the meeting today.

Today is not a good day.

But 'No', we've too meet them today.

As if it's the end of the world.

I wish I hadn't listened to her.

The family's filled with fools.

And now this is acting
stubborn as well.


What are you laughing at?

Who are you?

I came here with Asha.

Asha's boyfriend.


open your mouth. - What?


How did you know?

Well.. - Mom,
can I please have some juice?

Here you go.

Never ever say please. - Why?

Because...people will
think you're a moron.

Alright, listen this is the last..

No more juice.

Who is it?

Aman. Aman.

Aman? Who?

Aman, guitarist.

The one who can't join the army, and..

..even if he could, he couldn't
fight against the Pakistanis.

I see.

Listen to this joke. - No.

Son, listen to this joke.

A patient goes to the doctor.

He asks, "Doctor, how long do I have".

The doctor says "10".

The patient asks, "10 what".

"Years, months, weeks, days."

The doctor says "Ten,
nine, eight, seven, six..".

Wasn't that funny?

It was a funny joke.

Where are you going?

Rascal, now try driving your car.

oh, God!

And you two will live
in Karachi after the marriage.

No, mom. London.

Your children will be Muslim, dear.

They won't be, mom.

We've thought that,
our children will decide..

..which religion
they want to practice.

There will be no problem.
- There's no problem yet.

But when he gets a second,
third and fourth wife..

.then you'll think
that your mother was right.

Mom, Aman believes in Monogamy.

What "Gamy"?

He won't perform anymore marriages.

But you will change
your religion, dear.

I won't.

And you will even change
your name after the marriage.

No, mom, I won't.

And Aman's totally cool with it.

Come to your senses.
- What senses?

What are you..
- Asha!

Hey.. Hi!

Why were you screaming?
- I wasn't screaming.

Mom was screaming
because Aman's..

A Pakistani.

You knew.

I just met him outside.
- How did you find out?

I did, as soon as
he opened his mouth.




Grandpa, have you seen Aman?

Aman, who?
- Aman.

The one who came with me.

Have you seen him?
- Him?


I told him a joke,
and he ran away after hearing it.

Ran away.
- Yes.

- outside.

oh no.

Who ran away?

Aman ran away.


Don't you know why?

All of you ganged up on him. Why
did I come here in the first place?

I shouldn't have..
- No, dear, you shouldn't say that.

Mom, I wanted Aman to meet my family.

But the truth of the matter is.. family is not worth
being introduced to anyone.

No, dear, we aren't useless..

..he's a Pakistani.
Try to understand.



Hello. - Aman.

Asha, there's been a problem.

Is it Aman?

Give me, I'll apologies.
- Hold on.

Listen, the soup container
slipped out of my hands..

..fell out the window
and landed on someone's head..

..and, I think he's dead.

What are you saying?

Give me, I'll apologies.

Hello, Amam. This is aunty speaking.

Sorry, son. I over-reacted.

It's okay if you're a Pakistani.

Asha and you came
to give us good news..

..and we ruined your surprise.

Sorry, son. Come up.

Don't come up, I am coming down.

Yes, okay. - Shall I come too?

Mom, you just wait here.
I'll get him.

See...she's chosen a Pakistani.


Aman. - Asha.

I thought you ran away.

Where's the soup? - Soup?

The soup and the man
are lying right there.

Listen, I'll call the ambulance.

Don't call from your phone..

..Iet's call from the booth across.

Why are we scared?

Do you want to be arrested?

Why will I be arrested?

Yes, mom.
- Asha, are you two coming?

Yes, mom, we're coming.

Aman's coming too.

Yes, aunty, I am coming.

Bless you, son.
- okay, mom, bye.

Come on.
- Why wi ll I be arrested?

It was an accident.

You're a Pakistani,
have you forgotten?

If anything happens to him,
you'll be arrested, Aman.

Your life will be ruined.
-And what about his life?

I guess he's..

And maybe not.

The ambulance is coming
and would take care of him.

Come on.
- This isn't right.

You.. - We don't have an option, Aman.

Please don't think too much.

If anyone asks, tell them.. came down to have a smoke.

But I don't smoke.

At least you can lie.

Very less.
But, whenever I do my ears turn red.


Don't say anything.

Go get the container,
until then I'll call the ambulance.

Where is it?

Father, have you
seen the soup container?

What soup?

The soup.

You ran away with the soup. - Mom.

Sorry, dear.

Take it. - No, it's for you.

Take it. - No, you keep it.

Sorry, son.

Sorry, son.

Come in. Come.

Come on.

How much is this one for?

69.95, sir.

And that one? - That is 59.95.

And.. - 49.95, sir.

For a man who doesn't
want to spend any money.

These are free.

Free delivery?

I know, I have been telling you..


Do it again. Do it again.

Do what again?

Do it again. Do it again.

Anjali, behave yourself.

Again. Again. Again. Again.

Do it again.

Do what?

I showed her a small magic trick.

Anjali, straight to
bed after the magic trick.

Promise? - Promise.

Do it! Do it! Do it!

""Baby Shirin.. Baby shirin..""

Throw it out of the window!

Throw it out of the window!

Throw it out of the window!

Will you come with me for a second?

Come on.


I know a trick as well.


Yes. Look here.




Why didn't you tell me, that..

..Anjali saw you dropped the soup.
- I forgot.

And where did you learn
this stupid magic trick?

What am I stuck in?

okay, I am sorry I said that.

Why hasn't the ambulance arrived yet?

How do you know it hasn't?

Hello. Ambulance, siren.

It's been just 5 minutes,
it will be here.

Did you call them? - of course.

Swear it. - Swear what?

Swear that you called the ambulance.

You think I am lying.

What kind of a person you think I am?

I know what kind of a person you are.

I don't even know what
kind of a person I am.

You're the idiot that..

.throws a frozen
soup out of the window.

Say it. Say whatever you like.

You can all call me whatever you like.

I am alone after all.

Aman, why are we fighting
amongst ourselves.

I am sorry.

I just came to meet you.

And because you insisted.

I told you it's not a good day today.

Let's not meet today.
"No, let's meet today."

Since I arrived someone's
throwing an orange..

..or shooting a bullet,
or abusing me..

..or threatening me..
- Will you shut up or should I do it?

I don't know what you should do,
or what should I do?

What is all this?

I think that man's dead.

No, it was an accident.

It would've happened by someone else.

What are you saying? -Destiny.

Remember. - Asha.

Coming, mom.

Just relax.

Calm down. Calm down.


Forget it.





How was it?
- I want an Ultrasum..

okay, dear,
first thing in the morning.

Come here.

No one's pregnant.

Mom, please. - Be quiet.

You're not pregnant.
- Mom, don't scream.

Raj and Simran are getting hurt.
- You're not pregnant.

Mom, help.
- Pregnant! Pregnant!

Both mother and daughter
are driving me mad.

Let go.


Let it be, mom, she's a kid.

Kid? Let her play kiddies' game.

What's this? Raj-Simran.

Look here.

It's just a cushion.
There is no Raj-Simran.

You are not pregnant.

You've driving me crazy.
- No, no, no.


Are you happy now?

You ruined her game.

Was this a game?

5 year old child, pregnant.

Jia. - Mom. - Foolish girl.


Where are you going now?

Nowhere, I am right here.

Come with me to the kitchen.

See, she isn't depressed..

..she's getting crazier by the day.

This is why dad's having an affair.

Dad's having an affair?

of course.

How do you know?

He arrives after we fall asleep.

Leaves before we get up.

What else would you call it?

Good night.
- Good night.

Why don't you go back home?

I will once he comes to take me back.

What was the problem, Jia?


Sanjay thought I
squandered lots of money.

But I feel he earns less.

Bloody miser.

But, why did you two have an argument?

I sort of used his credit cards?


or abused?


I knew it.

okay, okay.

It feels so nice,
doesn't it? - What?

I always wanted Asha
to help me in the kitchen.

My dreams have finally
come true today.

Thank you.

They drive me nuts.



Mom, isn't this music..

..coming from that Pakistani's house?
- No, son.

Maybe it's from somewhere..
- No, mom.

I'm telling you,
it's coming from there.

He'll die.
That Pakistani's going to die today.

You shouldn't say that, son.
- I'll go set him straight right now.

Pakistani, you're going to die today.

Don't mind son.


This has become a daily
habit with him. - Manav.


Wait. Wait.


Curse you.

His stupidity never ends.

Where are you sticking your hands?


He's taking his wallent.

oh no.


Hey idiot, fraud!


Why were you jumping out?
- I wasn't.

Then what were you doing?

Just getting some fresh air,
I was feeling stuffy.

Is this what you
do when you feel stuffy?

We do..

Yes? - Yes!

Put it on mute.

I will..

What happened?


What happened?

I mean what's going to happen.

Nothing happened.

We'll talk later, okay bye.

Where did he get him from?

What happened, son?

I explained him. - Then,
why didn't he turn off the music.

Because I told him not to.

I gave him a list of my songs.

Here, drink some soup.

You have some too, son.

Mom, Aman's not feeling too well.


What happened?

He's got fever,
I guess he's caught a cold.

I see, let me take a look.

Come here.

He's fine.

A while ago he was
feeling stuffy.

Have some soup, son.
You will feel better.

Mom. - Let him taste it.

I've been in the
kitchen since morning.

Missed all three serials.

There's nothing wrong if he tastes it.

Come on, son.


See, didn't I say you will like it.

Have some more, son.

Mom. - It's good for fever.

It increases blood-count.

Don't drink if you don't want to.

No need to listen to her.

It feels so nice, we're all together.

Jia, what's that saying?

A family that eats
together stays together.

Very nice saying.

Would've felt better
if your daddy was here, right?

Did you have your wine?

The doctor's said
it's good for her heart.

What kind of a sister is she..

What's this on my shoe?

It's blood.

one second.


one second please.

Would you like a
brush and polish, son?

No, they are shining now.




aunt, mom..






What happened, Manav?

I don't know.

There's an ambulance and a police car.

What are you going to shine now?

Loo. Toilet.

Asha. You cannot marry him.

Mom, don't start again.

I am not saying this
because he's a Pakistani..

..I'm saying it because he's crazy.

Who's Pakistani?

What crazy? - Not more than us.

of course he's mad.

Sometimes he feels stuffy,
sometimes cold.

He gets up in the
middle of a conversation.

We're right here,
and he ducks under the table.

He's mad.

He's nervous, mom.

No he's not, he's crazy.

He's not.
- He is.

He's completely crazy.

Believe me. You don't see it now,
but you wi ll later.

He sits to eat, and suddenly gets up..

.to polish his shoes.

Mom, Aman is a musician.

That's why he's sometimes
lost in his thoughts.

No, dear, he has completely lost it.

He's a gone case.

Let him go, dear.

Mom, there's something between us.

Yes, dear, we call that a problem.

Take my advice, I don't like this man.

What's in this?

Let's see.

Show me. Show me.

Grandpa. No. No. No.

""My sweet little angel.""

""Come to me slowly."

Where is he now? - Bathroom.

How do you know?

He said so.

He lied.

The food's become cold.

Yes, he's been gone for a long time.

Curses, did he run away again?

oh my..

oh, God!


Mom, come here..

Where are we and where will we go?

I wonder what he did
to father at this age.

You talk nonsense, mom.

Do you know how lonely
father has been?

I wonder what..- Enough! I've had it.

We're leaving.

What else will you
call him if not crazy?

Just think, why will anyone..

..go to the bathroom with father?

Why? - Speak softly.

Who was mom calling Pakistani?

Have you ever thought about it?

- He's a Pakistani.

He's crazy
- Gone case.

Think, dear. Think.

You're ruining your future.

oh, God! Where do I go? What do I do?

Listen, Asha.



I'll send you an invitation,
don't bother to come.

What happened?

Aman was with father in the bathroom..

This marriage will never work.

Stop thinking about mine,
and handle your marriage.

What's wrong with my marriage?

Nothing. - Dad's affair
is absolutely normal.

You know what, Asha..

.this is the last
time I tell you anything.

What nonsense?

What do you two know? - Nothing.

He comes after you fall asleep.

Leaves before you get up.

The car's bound to get small.

After all,
he has to look after two families.

This stupid lift.

Excuse me. May I..

I have to call your dad..



Asha, wait.

Asha, I think he's your dad. - Who?

The man who go hit by the soup..

..I think he's your dad,
I mean he was.

He is. - You said some
stranger got hit by it.

Yes, but I hadn't
seen your dad before?

So, how can you be
sure now that it's my dad?

I saw his picture upstairs.

He's bald head looks exactly similar.

Describe his face.

I saw him from the back, Asha.

Was he tall, stout, short, skinny..

He looked average.

That can't be my dad. - Why?

My dad would either be at
the office or with his girlfriend.

But maybe he was
coming home to meet me.

oh my, God!

Come on.




Come to your senses. Come on.


That can't be dad. - Possible.

What's possi ble?
- That he wasn't your dad.

Dad wanted me to settle down.

Get married.

Have children.

They will never get
to see their grandpa.


our children.

our children!

Asha, maybe that wasn't the
grandpa of our future children.

Maybe, like you said,
he's at his office..

..or with his girlfriend.

There's no dearth
of bald men in this city.

Yes, dad always kept his ID along.

If that was dad, we would've
received a call by now. - Yes.

No. - Why not?

Some woman stole his purse.

Some woman stole his purse?

Yes, I saw it from the window.

Some woman stole his purse.

Why didn't you do something?

What could I do? I was about to
leap out of the window and catch her..

..when your mother caught hold of me.


Where are you two going?

Why? Do you want a lift?

Dad's office.

Did you talk to him?

No. No one's answering
at the switch-board..

..and dad forgot his phone at home.

We're coming too.

Come on.
- Really?


"Life is filled with complications."

""The paths are unknown."

""The one that was my
companion till now.."

No thanks.

""I miss seeing him.""

Mom, careful.

Yes, dear.


These Pakistani songs.

Miser brother-in-law.

He's giving missed call.


Hi, brother-in-law, what's up?

I've sent something for Jia.

Was it delivered? - No.

Give the phone to Jia.

No one's at home.

Everyone's gone out to look for dad..

..along with that boy.

What boy?

The same boy sister's going to marry.


Manav, what do you mean by marry..

Yes, hello..

Hello, brother-in-law. - Yes..

I can't hear a thing.

These Pakistanis are driving me crazy.

Can you hear the music? - Again?

Yes, again.

And there are three of them today.

You wait, I am coming right now.

Fine, I'll call Bunty
and Bablu as well. - okay.


My old hockey stick's broken.

So get me a new one..

Hello. Hello.

Hello, brother-in-law..


These Pakistanis..

Go home, Percy.

But, sir..

..I've stumbled upon a terror plot.

I'm going to bury you in a plot soon..

..if you don't stop
uncovering these terror plots.

But, sir, in the name of the queen..

oh, shut up, Percy.

We'll save Britannia
first thing tomorrow morning.

Which floor? - I don't know.

I don't know anything.

I don't know whether
he works here or not.

Maybe he also has children.

- Your siblings.

Hi, there.
Mr. Rajinder Singh, sales department.

Actually, it's his birthday.

We're his family.
We just want to give him a surprise.


5th floor.


Madam. Madam.

Can't park in front of the door.

You guys go ahead,
I'll go park the car. - okay.

Thanks. - Listen, mom.



It's all empty.
Is he inside? - He isn't here.



Wait. Wait.



Here's dad's desk.

She's so beautiful. - Your, mom?

Rajinder's mom.


It's someone else.

We're looking for Rajinder Singh.

He left.

How long back?

A couple of hours.

How did he go?

He left happily.

Curse you two.

Come on. - Let's go, mom.

Raging hormones..

Well, I think he has
a concussion to the brain..

..which means a loss of consciousness.

Transient and prolonged
due to the blow to the head.

He has a weak pulse,
so there may be a chance of amnesia.

Vertigo, nausea.

He has slow respiration.

or it could be concussion
to the lamebrynth..

..which would mean deafness,
swift tonituss

..due to the blow to the ear even.

Not necessarily..



Yeah, put the date of..

We are just waiting for
the next report..

Where did he go?

I don't know.


It has been two hours since
and he hasn't reached home yet.

You were right, dear.


My mother used to say..

..all men are the same.

I never believed her.

Rajinder was..

But it's true.

All men are the same.

I think we should call the police.

It's not wrong to have an affair, son.

No, mom, Aman's right.

We should call the police.
- Yes.

Give me your phone.

What? - Phone.

I left my phone in the car.

I'll get it.

What's lacking in me, son? Tell me.


No, say it son.

Is there anything lacking in me?

There's nothing..

Am I not beautiful? - No..

Yes...I mean you're beautiful.

You're very beautiful.
You're gorgeous.

Would you cheat on a woman li ke me..

..and have an affair
with someone else?

You're Asha's mother.

Forget that for a moment.
- It's difficult.

Try, son.

I would never leave you.

I would never go to work, and..

.therefore this wouldn't
have happened..

..if I wouldn't have gone
to work in the first place.

The police says they
can't lodge a report..

..before 24 hours.

Where are you going?

To see Rajinder's drawer.



Fooling around in the office.

Who...who am I?

Who am I?

Where am I?


He's lost his mind.

He even forgot that he's bald.


Should I go right, or left?

He looks stoned.

The way tonight's going,
I'll take anything.

'What am I doing here?'

He's not coming.

Yes, he is.

'No, let's go back.'


'Left. No straight.'




'I'll wait here.'

What is up with him?

Another psychopath.

No, he's just shy.

He needs his mummy.

Yes. Because,
if they're not psychopaths..

.they are 5 year olds.

Hi, come here love.

What's the matter?

Are you going to
stand there all night?

Come, come, come, come.

Come to mama?

'Who is she?'



What happened to your head?

'How can she be mom?'

I don't know.

How much you got, love?

'She's scolding me so gently.'

I don't know what happened.

Come. Come inside.

I'll find something
to make you feel better.

'She's taking me home.'

I never thought Rajinder
would turn out like this.

Why did I get married?

If you hadn't then
we wouldn't have been born.

Rajinder makes me cry.

All of you make me cry.

My life's total loss, dear.

No, mom.

Aman's a nice boy, dear.

But all men are same.

Tell me if it stings.

'She's married.'

What happened?

Did you get into a fight?

'I am married too.'

'Is she my wife..'

What are you looking at?

What do you think
I am going to do to you?

Come, give me a hug.

'She's my wife.'

That's it.

That's the way I like it.

'Thank God, I found my wife.'

'But...I married a foreigner.'

I don't know what happened?
- There, there.

Don't worry, you're with me now.


Look. You're going to
have to give me some money.

How much do you need?

100 Pounds.

100 Pounds?

You got me scared.

Well, do you have them?

Do you want them now?

Yes, of course.


Why do you think?

'My purse.'

I don't have my wallet
right now with me.

Where is it?

I don't know.

Are you playing?

I told you what happened.

That's what I get for being so nice.

I know, I must have..

I must have left it somewhere.

I will go and find it.

Well, go find it.

Please don't get angry with me.
- Hey, don't touch me.

Tell me, is something wrong?

Do we have money problem?

Yes, we have money problems.

I have my father's watch.

You can sell it for now.

Wait here.

Everything will be fine.

Finished already.

How much is this worth?


Lap dance.

I think.


Did you find dad?

No. - And these two?

I won't eat you.

Can't say.

You're my future brother-in-law.
- I see.

So, what were you
doing under the table?

I was just joking.

You guys are such stuck-ups.


You know what I mean.

As if your liberty
got you to the moon.

You're sitting right
here in the corridor, with me.



Do you always drink?


Drink it. Good for the heart.

I've a fine heart.
- Go on. - No, no.

Take a sip.
- No, no. - Try, take a sip. - Fine.


Considering all the
tensions I faced today..

..I needed this. Thank you.

Yes. guys are getting married.


You don't look too happy.

No, no, I am happy.

I am fine.

Really? - Yes.

Doesn't look from your condition.

It doesn't? No, no, I..

You know, Asha..

Asha's so..
- over-powering.


She always manages to persuade me.

I mean I keep saying, but..

she makes me do what she wants.

I was saying "Let's not go today,
let's not".

But no "We have to, we have to".

I said "The day
started on a bad note".

"Let's not go today."
But no.

I mean she's stubborn.

Arguing with her is li ke..
- Getting *****

Yes, getting *****. Exactly.

Don't you abuse?

A little.

Where is it?


Your dad..

Nothing will happen to dad.

Just watch, the doorbell
will ring tomorrow morning..

..and he'll enter.

So don't worry about it.

There you are.

You have this. That's my CD.

How do you have this?

So you knew who I was.

Huge fan of your band.
- Really?

Do you want to see something?


Where's that boy?
- Which boy?

The one that came
to see your sister.

He's gone out with sister.

So soon. - Yes.

That's peculiar,
you aren't worried about sister..

..but asking about the boy.

Don't worry about them.

Think about your own wife and kid.

Aman and sis are made for each other.

You fool. - Yes.

Which boy and which
sis are you talking about?


Come on.

Let's sc*** those Pakistanis.

Where are Bunty and Bablu?

There they are. - Greetings.

Hello. - I found the wallet of...

...Mr. Rajinder Singh.

In it I found your number.

If I return it will
you give 50 Pounds?


He ate less,
and I thought he's worried.

He was actually on a diet.

Come on. - Hello.

"I don't know the place I was."

"The ambience was lost
in fun-frolic and dance."

"I don't know the place I was."

"The ambience was lost
in fun-frolic and dance."

"Everyone was laughing."

"The walls were singing."

"Bodies would sway, twist and turn.."

" the place I was."

"I don't know the place I was."

"The ambience was lost
in fun-frolic and dance."

"I was in an unknown world."

"The ambiance was unique."

"The ambiance was astonishing."

"He was gorgeous."

"He was li ke a shining star."

"Everyone...Iost their heart to him."

"The place I was in
was better than heaven."

"I don't know the place I was."

"The ambience was lost
in fun-frolic and dance."

"I don't know the place I was."

"The ambience was lost
in fun-frolic and dance."

"Everyone was laughing."

"The walls were singing."

"Bodies would sway,
twist and turn.."

" the place I was."

"I don't know the place I was."

"The ambience was lost
in fun-frolic and dance."

Asha. - Hi.

Sister is a fan.

'Why is my wife dancing like this?'

'But she's doing good.'

Hey.. - I've got a job for you.

At least wait till I finish.

I am not running a charity.

Who are you?

Do you know him?

And you do, old man.

Get in.

Is he the person we owe money to?

Yes, but that's all taken care of now.

So, you can get off
and find someone else..

.to spank your monkey.

What monkey?

He's an idiot, or what?

I am sorry, some other
customers are waiting for me.

Come back tomorrow,
and we'll finish off, okay.

What customers?

Why tomorrow?

What money?

Why are you talking
to me like that?

Because she's in business.


Take that back.
Take that back.

You want me to punch your face in?

You can't insult my wife like that.

Come on.
You're going to apologies to her.

You're going to apologies to her.

That's it.

Why is he coming here?

Apologies. Apologies. Come on.

I am telling you, apologies to her.
- Just stop it.

Don't leave me alone.

What are you doing?

You can't throw me out of my house.

What are you doing?

open the door.
open the door.

oh my, God!

open the door.
My house is going.

My wife..

Stop him.

Stop. Stop.
My house is going.

My house is going.

My wife. My wife.

Asha. Asha.

- Hello.

Mom, I am afraid.
- Where's Manav?

He's gone down with daddy.
- Why?

Mom, grandpa's dead.


What happened, dear?

Anjali, listen.

Stay right there, we'll be there.


What happened?
- What happened?

Grandpa's dead.


Excuse me.

Sorry, sorry, sorry..
- Get out of my way.

Put some clothes on.

Excuse me, what time is it?
- Time.

It's alright, never mind.

'Where's dad's watch?'

'She's the same girl..'

'This girl's..'

Everyone ready?
- Bravo.

Come on. Go.

Go on.

once more.
- Go, go, go.

All the best, Manav.


Run, run, run.

You can't escape today.
- We'll get you today.

Get him.

Pakistani, catch him.

Today we'll..

Where are you going?
- Where do I go?

They're coming.

Come down where?

He's coming down quickly.




Hurry up.

Who covered his face?

I did.

Are we going to bury him or burn him?

Father's looking so calm.

What are you doing, father?

You scared everyone.


Come on, get out. Come on.

Asha. Asha.

By, God!

It's a mad house.

God knows where Rajinder is.

Quit Anjali.

Glory to Goddess!


You stinky terrorists.

Who's he calling terrorists?

You three, who else?

How do you know?

I feel he's addressing them.

Shut up.

Whom did he speak to now?
- You three, who else?

How do you know?

I feel he's speaking to them.

I said no talking.

Who did he speak to now?
- You three, who else?

How do you know?

I feel he's speaking to them.

oh, shut up.

You three, over here.

You four, over there.


Similarly, they sc***
us in '47 with divide and rule.

You are right. - He's right.

So, shall we take revenge? - Yes.

But, Pakistanis will
strike first. - Why?

Who gave you the right?
- I feel it's our birth right.

Why, was he part of your dowry?

We're elder.

We got freedom first.


Let's toss.

Get a coin. - You do.

You don't have a coin?

Give it to them.

Give it. - Here you go.

We're generous after all.

Asha.. - Don't touch me.

What happened?

What were you doing with my sister?

Nothing, she liked my song, so we..

You always have 100 excuses
not to dance with me.

Asha, please.
What are you saying? - Please what?

You were dancing with
my sister after killing my dad.

Killed your dad?

Dad's dead?

Asha, dad could've been saved if you..
- I killed dad.

Yes, if you hadn't delayed
in trying to hide it..

.then maybe dad would've been alive?

I was trying to save you, you idiot.

That's not our habit,
to leave someone in trouble.

our habit..?

As if we kill people by throwing
soup containers, don't we?

I wouldn't be surprised if you did.

Thank God you didn't say
that the ISI is behind this.

As if the ISI are
really honest people.

And the RAW are on a picnic
in Baluchistan, aren't they?

Those people who came
in boats were from Pakistan.

More people die in our country,
we're more troubled.

So? Will you trouble the world for it?

osama was finally
found in your backyard.

Give us Kashmir, end of matter.

You can't handle what we gave you.

Give us Kashmir?
Why should we?

It belongs to us, you get out.

Why should we get out?
It's ours, you get out.

You're seizing other's property,
aren't you ashamed?

Who teaches you all this?

Don't you have a mind?
- We live carefree.

Not like you. We've a big heart.

That reminds me of Shahid Afridi.

After losing the semi-finals he said..

.the Indians don't have a big heart
like us. So, should we lose the match?

Even we...are worried
about Shahid Afridi..

..he must have said it under pressure.

What's the big deal? - Yes.

You're all so naive.

If anyone says anything
against Allah..

..and you all set out for

It's not a habit.

We're always judged by our name,
our religion.

We weren't like this.

People like you made us what we are.

Turned you into someone
who's burning their own homes?

Don't force me.

You have more scams than
we've terrorist attacks.

And you'll be surprised
to know, madam..

..more people die of
corruption in your country.

Come to your senses.
- That's exactly what I was saying.

What were you saying?

What were you two
talking about Rajinder?

He passed away.

The soup container
slipped out of my hands..

..fell through the window
and landed on his head, and..

I don't get one thing.

You're Punjabis, I am a Punjabi.., why make soup?

You had to act like Britishers.

What did you gain from it?

Start calling the relatives.

I'm off to the police station.

Mom. Mom.


Dad! oh, God!

Mom, Its dad.

Rajinder. Rajinder.

Thank you, God.

Thank you, God. Rajinder. - Dad.


What happened? - Dad.

Dad, we thought..


Where are your trousers?

I found him like this in the streets.

Thank you so much.
- Thank you very much. - Thank you.

Dad, did you go to the hospital?

It's really important, dad.

Where have you been?

I was coming home. - Yes.

Then suddenly something
heavy fell on my head.


And then?

And then?




Rajinder, do you recognize us?


Who's this man?

This is Aman.

Aman, your dad.

Welcome home, sir.

Rajinder, lipstick.


Sorry, sorry.
I won't say anything.

Come on, Rajinder.

I'll get you some hot soup.

Come on. This way.

Dad. Careful.

Tell me one thing,
Rajinder, where's your pant?

I lost it.

Walk carefully.

I'll take my stuff tomorrow.

Where are you going?

I don't know.

Excuse me, where's A8.

What name?

Jai Singh.

That's me.

Thank you.

Mom. - Yes, dear.

Look, daddy.

It isn't my fault, but...

...I wi ll have to say sorry.

Say it.

I am sorry.

It's okay.

Come on, let's go home.


Turn around, sweetheart!


We'll keep arguing
all our lives, Asha.

We'll live together for the argument.

At least I can, Aman.

I am a Pakistani and you're a Indian.

But nobody's perfect.

Can we live together?

I know that...we cannot live apart.

"Feels incomplete, sweetheart."

"Why fight over trivial things?"

"Why argue without a reason?"

"You're the one I want to love."

"You're the one I want to die for."


"Life's filled with
a little intoxication."


"It feels incomplete without you."

"It feels incomplete without you."

Right, son.

Will you keep Asha happy? - Yes.

Speak louder, this is a Punjabi house.

Yes, yes, I'll keep her happy.

Curse you.

"Tons of tears...and sorrows."

"God, please tell us what do we do?"

"Tons of tears...and sorrows."

"God, please tell us what do we do?"

"More pain, less relief."

"No one's fine in this world anymore."

"And then there's your parents,
brother and sister."

Where in India do you hail from?

"Total chaos, that's your love."

"It's completely crazy, I'm dead."

"Total chaos, that's your love."

"It's completely crazy, I'm dead."

"Your mom hates me."

"Your brother irritates me."

"Daddy's always lost."

"Your sister manipulates me."

"Bunch of dacoits, always on a high."

"This place of full of problems."

"Still I didn't stop following you."

Speak louder, we're Punjabis.

"Total chaos, that's your love."

"It's completely crazy, I'm dead."

"Total chaos, that's your love."

"It's completely crazy, I'm dead."

"Tons of tears...and sorrows."

"God, please tell us what do we do?"

"More pain, less relief."

"No one's fine in this world anymore."

"And then there's your parents,
brother and sister."

"Total chaos, that's your love."

"It's completely crazy, I'm dead."

"Total chaos, that's your love."

"It's completely crazy, I'm dead."

Am I not beautiful?

Since I arrived someone's
throwing an orange..

..or shooting a bullet,
or abusing me..

..or threatening me.

.threatening me.

The family's filled with jokers.