Totò, Peppino e... la dolce vita (1961) - full transcript

Antonio si trova a Roma grande città centro della "Dolce vita", con i soldi raccolti dai compaesani, per perorare la causa del paese: Costruire un autostrada che vi passi vicino. Ma i paesani non hanno più sue notizie e mandano Peppino alla sua ricerca. Mal gliene incoglie: anche Peppino, incontrato Antonio, si lascia prendere dai gorghi della metropoli e dalla dolce vita romana, fra belle attrici, cocaina scambiata per borotalco ed orge varie, non dà più sue notizie...


Peppino: Yes, look ...

- Health and well, Don Peppi '!
- Don Peppi '!

- Everything is covered here!
- It's right.

Tell Don Ferdinando
that everything has been fixed, ..

..that this crap in the country
is not done. One moment!

If the knight asked who
interfered in his film business, ..

.. tell him it was me,
Don Peppino Barbacane, ..

..Town Clerk.
- Health!

- Let's say what it is:
I made the country here . - How not?

- I deserve a right, right?
- Quite right!

- And who made the gardens?
- And the sports field?

- And the museum? - And the war memorial?
- By the way: it needs to be restored.

And then we say what it is:

..the Barbacane family, here,
contributed to national unity.

Yes, it's true. It's so true! You have a hero
in your family, a fallen one! And where did it fall?

- Eh ... in the kitchen!
- In the kitchen?

- On foreign soil he fell!
You often tease. - it? - Humorous!

Don Cesarino is old,
but always lively!


- Well, you have done a lot,
now do the miracle! - I can not.

Friends, sorry, we are reunited,
but I must tell the truth: cousin Antonio I don't want to
see him anymore nor have anything to do with him.

- I'm not going to Rome!
- But how? That has so many adhesions!

We have to let the passage
of the highway through the country blow.

..and not take advantage of these adhesions?
- Adhesions ... adhesions ...

It will be the usual reckless
it was years ago.

Years ago! But now he's a big shot,
at least from what he writes.

The letters speak for themselves, and he writes
the truth to me , we were very friends.

- He writes to him.
- Read, read ...

- Write to him! - Read ...
- Don't write me! - Read!

- '' Dear Pasquale ....
- No, here! '' The place ....

I found the place for Prince Ercolini's son .

Good evening, prince! Did you see what a nice
place I found her? Open the door!

Panoramic view!

And let's not talk about women.
Read here!

'' Dear Pasquale, here women
don't give me peace.

'' Even to Anita Ekberg ....
Who is this?

- The one in the film '' La dolce vita ''.
- But that is not done anymore. - Yeah.

Even to Anita Ekberg
I said no.

No, Miss Ekberg!
You can't stay here!

He makes her fight with the guard,
makes her a fine. Go away!

'' Even in politics I am listened to a lot.
I told Fanfani where to go.

Excellence, plan!
Don't go too far left!

Keep it in the center like this.

But assuming that for the good of the country,
because that's the only way I would meet him, ..

..I want to go to Rome,
I don't even know where he is.

But everyone in Rome will know him!
Here it is.

He is the President of the SPA

- Of the SPA?
- Of the SPA

Go open! Hurry up!

Baroness: I only stop for 10 minutes,
I'm waiting for Luisa Giovanna, .. you have two packages?
- Immediately! The usual? - Yup.

- Lucky?
- Lucky, grazie.

- Two?
- Yes. How much do I owe you?

- With these, 78 packages.
- So little?! I thought they were more!

- Oh yes? - Yes, score.
- It's a sign year!

- But you were eating! I disturbed!
- I was going ... but for heaven's sake!

- What a smell!
- Do you want to favor? - Oh, Antonio!

- Excuse me, I said so, but ...
- What am I? Spaghetti?

- I think it's spaghetti, yes.
- Mmmh!

The shape that is.

Che odorino!

Mmmh! Coupons!

- Good, right?
- I don't know, I haven't tasted them yet.

I'm late! But what are you doing,
Renata Francesca?

Do you want to laugh, Luisa Giovanna?
Antonio offered me spaghetti!

What an effort, democracy!
Step away, baby!

- I can?
- You are welcome! - Thanks.

Good, right?


Not even in Montecarlo
have I eaten them so good!

Oh really?

They are truly
a wonderful thing!


- That's enough for me.
- I've had enough too.

Thanks, Antonio,
and congratulations for this pasta.

Let's hurry, otherwise
we'll be late for lunch!

- What if they didn't have lunch?
- They ate the dish!

Here, go to the innkeeper and tell him
that pasta, as he does it, ..

.. they only do it in Montecarlo.

- Anto '!
- Dotto ', what is it?

- I need 20,000 lire.
- And who has them? You don't earn a penny!

Who do you tell it to? Power!

- Ugh! When do you return them to me?
- To father dead. - What?

- To father dead.
- That would?

- Look, I've prepared a bill for you.
- Let me see!

'' I will pay to father dead .... ''

Antonio: Bill to dead father ...

- Is this business to be done?
- I paid you the other bill!

- Which?
- That '' to dead uncle ''.

If my uncle hadn't ended up under the train,
I wouldn't have seen anything!

Come on, you know I'm paying you!
Do me this favor!

20,000 are they? Yes, 20,000.

Look if there are people
here ...

- Kill what grain you have!
- It's not mine, it's a friend's.


..and 5, 20.
- Like 20?

The interest. I keep it first.

Okay ...
Hi, Antonio. Thanks!

- By the way, scholar, how is dad?
- She's fine, thanks.

What a rip off!

- Hello.
- Good evening.

- Hi Antonio.
- Good evening doctor.

- There is availability?
- For her always. - Thanks.

- As usual?
- As usual.

- Motorized?
- Motorized.

- Out of series or series?
- Fuoriserie, of course.

Out of series ... out of series ...

Come with me!


- Nice to meet you, my name is Renata.
- He's from Bologna.

- Thanks.
- Please, take a seat. - Hello.

- Have fun.
- Thanks, Antonio.

- After ... bye!
- Renata: Okay.

Street! Street! Street!

Street! Street!

Where are you going?

Where do you put yourself? Where do you put yourself?

- I'll go there for a moment!
- Where do you put yourself?

And hurry up!




How much it is?

- 2,000. - 2,000 ?!
- Yes, 2,000.

What ...

What are you doing ?!

But look at that!


- How much?
- 2,000.

- Where's a phone?
- There, at the Caffè de Paris it's for sure.

Taxi driver: Excuse me, huh!


What ...



- But what way is this?
- He hurt himself?

- Paparazzo: Are you an actor?
- No, I'm Barbican.

- You're crazy? - Barbican!
- What do you want?! Get out!

These are crazy things!
This is an assault!

But I'm going to the police station!
Ah, you know me little!

ln the police station!




- Sorry.
- Please, do ... do ...

Ready? Do I speak to the SPA offices?
Ah ...

- Is the President there?
- No, he's in a meeting.

And when does this meeting end?

No. No, I ....

Sorry, have patience, you
do not make me understand anything.

- 'That bell ...
- Excuse me.

- Be patient, it is urgent.
- Okay, go ahead!

No, I don't have an appointment,
it's just ... well, I should see him.

Who is speaking, please?

- Say the cousin phoned!
- The cousin ...

- Town Clerk!
- Ah ...

- Superintendent too.
- Who?

Okay thanks!


- Can I finally call now?
- Yes, please.

- Does it let me through or do I have to climb it?
- As you like, take a seat.

In short, go!

Mr. President,
your cousin called.

Miss, always ask
your name, I have 1 4 cousins.

No, it wasn't them yet.
Have patience, you must forgive me.

What about? Of the time
you're wasting me?


Are they!


- Hello? Boss, we have coke!
- You are crazy? Do not shout!

No, we cannot come down,
we are being followed.

- They can arrest us.
- Tell him we have to get rid of it!

- So we throw it away?
- Throw! It costs 3 million!

Chief, tell the Count
to go down to the usual coffee.

..and put a coat on a chair.
We'll put the bottle in his pocket.

- Agree.
- Then we go?

- No, better separate, I can't
expose myself. - And how do I recognize them?

You sit at the cafe,
put your coat in evidence, ..

.. I'll take care of the rest.



- Police! Come with us!
- Few stories, let's go! - Forward!

- What can I do?
- You don't have to move from here!

We are responsible
for urban traffic.

- If there is a traffic jam, they are pains!
How do we do it? - We send him away!

- Who?
- The traffic jam.

I'll kill you, do you understand?
Villano, rascal who is nothing else!

- Antonio!
- Villano .... Count, good evening!

- I've been watching
you for a while, you're cold. - it? Not a chance!

You can see: you have a white face, a
red nose , green lips. Do you know what you look like?

- A tricolor flag?
- No, it is clear that you suffer.

- No way!
- I can't see people in pain.

- Thank you ...
- I'll give you my coat. - Because?

- Excuse me ....
- There is a damp!

But what should I do? What does it do?

What are you doing? Did she dress the baby?

- But when do I give it back?
- It doesn't matter, I have many.

- But, I say .... - Tonight I'm going to dance
at the Bat. You are invited! - it?

You are invited with this coat!

If you don't come, I'm offended!
You have to come with this coat!

It's an honor, but, I say ...
it's an honor, but ...

It is an honor!

But this is stupid!
Yeah, almost everyone here is stupid.

But is it him or is it not him?




What did you come to do in Rome?
Did they pass the duty on you?

- What do you want?! - Make sure
you really are a Barbican.

- I am, why?
- So, as Barbican cousins, ..

... remember your grandfather Barbacane.
- And with this?

Old Barbican
who is your grandfather must be honored . Here, good. As?

Old Barbican
who is your grandfather must be honored . Here, good. As?

- I memorized it!
- And with this?

I mean, we have to honor
this old Barbican ..

..who wants the highway to
pass through the country.

You bothered me! I left
on purpose not to see you anymore ..

..and grandfather and not hearing about the

I have boxes full of them! I got it?

<Conte: Renato!

- Good evening. - Is Antonio there?
- (in Roman dialect) Are you asking me?

Do you know if he spoke to His Excellency
about that car to sell?

- Ask him, right?
- Yes, I'm going.

Go, go.

But where will it go, I say!

But when you came to Rome
to take an interest in the project ..

..and you did nothing,
who gave you the money ? l Barbican!

- This is a detail.
- Oh yes? - A detail!

But are we detailing?
Here we detail! It's a detail!

- Count, good evening!
- Antonio!

<Commands, Count!
- Antonio .... sorry so much!

- Sorry. - Did
His Excellency tell you anything about that matter?

- Still nothing.
- Eh, damn it! Excuse me so much! - Sorry.

- I'm in your hands, please!
- Leave it to me, I'll take care of it.

- Excuse me so much! Good evening.
- Excuse me so much! Good evening.

- Wait up! Are you leaving?
- You greet me ...

- Who is that?
- A count. - What count?

For a recommendation. He has to talk
to a minister to get a job.

- Are you a titled? -
Everyone here in via Veneto . Princes, dukes, marquises.

- Here the bills .... - .... are
never paid . - No, they jump.

- You're a big shot now.
- In my circle.

- Everyone in the country knows.
- Yup? - You wrote it to everyone.

This was my pain:
except me, a Barbican.

- Like I was a Barbagatti.
- Do you want to know what you are? I tell you?

- Today's date? You are a barn owl!
- Antonio! - Who is it? - It's me.

- Forward! - Where is it?
- You knock! What do I know?

- Do you want to talk to us or not?
- All right. Go back to the country and I'll talk to it.

- Who do you want me to talk to? A minister?
- And you ask me? With the President?

The President of the Republic?
What time is it?

- It will be 1 1:00.
- He's not here at this hour.

Go to the country,
I'll talk to the Minister.

I'm not leaving! I am here
at the express wish of my grandfather!

He said I
only have to leave when you've got the concession.

The money he gave it to me, here it is!
He told me: '' Stay in Rome as long as you want ''.

Did he give you the money? Let me see!

- Let me see!
- Because?

Stop with your hands!
Let me see! The distrust must end!

- Did you understand?
- You don't know money.

However, if you want to stay, you can't
be dressed like that. You are disgusting!

This coat is made with the
horse blanket . This coat sucks!

- Does it suck? - Eh!
- It's Grandpa's coat!

And you suck you and grandpa!
Go tell him!

- Am I going to tell him such a thing?
- Then give him a telegram!

Grandfather, you and your coat suck.
Signed ... stop.

- Go tell him!
- I shiver! But is it argued like this?

To stay, you need a wardrobe.
I'll take you to the tailor. Give me the money!

- Come on!
- Let's waste time.

- That's right.
- Let's joke around.

- And you didn't catch anything.
- Let's go to the tailor!

We go together
if we have to go to the tailor.

Antonio: It's plastic!


But do you see how peasant you are?

Antonio: Burino! Burino!

Sit down, Peppino.

<Man: Rascal!


(laughing) It's fun! It is funny!

Yes, yes.


- What happens?
- Nonsense.

These fights happen for advertising.
And in fact do you see the paparazzi? Do you see them?

- the mattresses?
- What mats?

- You said '' mattresses ''. - In Rome
, photographers are called '' paparazzi ''.

There are many. As you go along via
Veneto, you find one taking a picture of you.

All calm. This is life!

Luckily Antonio
has left us his place.

Will you stop long
at Commendatore Gardini's?

As usual, these are important business.
And your canasta lasts ....

- ....very!
- Very?

When they start, they will never stop.
And then the usual party games.

- Uh, what a pain! You will make the dawn.
- Oh yeah.

- Better go home alone.
- Yup.

I will take a taxi
or I will be accompanied.

- Good, dear. Hello!
- Hello, dear William. - Hello.

Gugo ... Gugo ... Gugo!

(in English) Do you mind?
There is no place here.

Do you want to sit down? Yes!

What are you doing? Sorry!

By! By! By!

- Ouch!
- Sorry.

Don't you notice
that there is a small table?

Anthony Sit down! Sit down!

Since! Since! See you! See you!

lmbecille you are!
You make me do these figures!

Here we are! (RlDACCHlA)

Here we are.

- Do you speak english?
- Como?

- Do you speak english?
- Un petit pois, sì.

- These are foreign.
- They're American.

You know, Americans are independent,
loose, emancipated.

- American disbanded.
- What, are they cigarettes?

- How you do it? - I'll talk to you.
Modestly, I speak some languages.

- Do you want to ask something?
- How long have they been in Italy.

- Yes, it's easy.
- Can you tell? - Eh!

- Excuse me, please, please,
da quante tamp .... - Da quante? - Tamp!

.... voio, you two, been to Italy,
to Rome, to Romagna, to Romania, go!

- We don't understand you.
- Ho capito.

- They're ignorant.
- Are you sure you spoke English?

- Yes, imagine. - Then ask
another thing: where do they live.

The easiest question.

Excuses, please, we want ...
savoir where you live.

- Where is your abit? La chesa, go!
- La chesa.

When I am tired, I want
to go to chesa, but I want to rest a little.

- But you're talking Bari!
- Eh, Bari! - '' I'm going to the chesa ''.

- I speak English too.
- You speak!

- I, Patrizia.
- Nice to meet you! Nice to meet you!

- I, Alice.
- Nice to meet you!

- Ah! - What are you doing, are you touching me?
What figures do you make me do?

- Your friend?
- Come?

- Your friend?
- Ah!

- I get it.
- Did you understand?

I was cold, it was lighter,
I put on a heavy coat, ..

... same as him.
- (laughing) What a fool!

- You don't know what '' friend '' means?
- And you know it?

- No! - So!
- But he asked you, not me.

- Say: these are there.
- Yup? - Yup.

- Eh, what about orgy here?
- No, no, what an orgy?

As long as it's about company ...

No, these are foreign,
you have to go with the feeling.

These come to Italy
to seek Latin love.

If it is for Latin,
I know something , a few small sentences.

'' Where are you going? '' He asks.
It is said: '' Quo vadis ''.

Mister, preg, where are you going?

- No, Ben Hur. - Ben Hur?
<Sì. - Ah, right?

- What he said? - He took you
for Ben Hur. - To me? - Mah.

Yes, it looks a bit like it.

- We want to dance.
- Yes, let's have a sweet life!

- The sweet life! I'm there!
- No, no, no. I'm leaving!

- Don't be stupid! - Good evening!
- Not at all! - No!

- You only live once!
- No!

Stop with the municipal secretariat!

- I'm an authority!
- What does it matter? Oh yes!

- Where to dance?
- At the '' Buttocks club ''!

- Where is it?
- '' Club buttocks ''! - Not at all!

- '' Night club ''.
- Okay! - We're not going!

- We go there!
- Ah!

What are you doing? What are you doing?

- Yes, I do a hula-hop!
- Good boy!

Andiame! Andiame!

Here we go! (RlDE)


Peppino, come on!

Uh, pardon!


Peppino! Peppino!
What are you doing? What are you doing?

- But it came on me!
- And who pays here now?

- We broke up, we pay!
Give me the money! - Wait up!

Give me the money!

- Pardon, gentlemen, what happens?
- He went on me!

- He went in, I went out, everything fell.
- Take away!

Remember that the customer
is always right.

Young man, the customer
is always right!

- I'm mortified, gentlemen.
- Me too.

Please, this way, gentlemen.

<Maître: Do gentlemen have a table?
- We didn't bring it.

- Didn't you bring it? And now?
- Shall I go get it? - Not at all!

- I meant if they booked
the table. - Ah! Yup.

- He! You booked?
- Well ... oh well ... let's stay here.

- We stay here.
- A table for four.

- Four with one table?
- Exactly.

It takes four tables ...
that is, chairs!



- If the ladies want to follow me ...
- Yes, they follow. We come right away.

- Peppino ...
- Eh?

- Wardrobe, sir?
- Eh, wardrobe ... look at that!

- Sir, where are you going? It's the wardrobe!
- I watched the stuff go by.

- The coat?
- I am constipated. - And she?

- I'm his cousin. - What's that got to do with it?
Same blood, but not constipation!

- Take the coat!
- Piano!

- Shovel yourself! Spalettottati,
I mean. - Don't scream!

- Here ... - What are you doing?
- Nice place! - What do you have? The double?

- No, not that, it's family stuff!
- Let's not be ridiculous!

- Stop! - And take off your coat!
- And go with those hands!

Let's go! Fly, fly!
#Fly, oh .... #

- They've already entered!
- Dolls!

- Here, sir.
- Thanks.


- (screaming) Peppino, where are you!
- I'm here! - And come here!

What's up? Why are you stopping?
Your name is Peppino? He's my cousin!

- Please, sir, sit down.
- He's my cousin!

- I'm the cousin.
- There they are!

Here are the babes!

- Do the gentlemen want to have dinner? - No!
- I don't feel good in my stomach.

- No, have dinner, no!
- A drink! - Huh? - Drink!

- Eh ... drink! There is a drink!
- A bell.

'' Drink '', in English,
means wanting to drink. Voler '' boir ''.

- I don't understand English.
- Champagne, sir?

- Champagne? No!
- No!

What a pity,
we have some great brands!

- Eh, I know, but you know how it is!
- Triple Sec?

And one puts dry tripe
on the stomach? Young man! Let's go away.

- Moët and Chandon!
- I do not understand. - Moët and Chandon!

- Oh yes?
- Moët and Chandon! - Ah!

- Now, Antoine comes out! - Uh!
- Let's clap our hands!

I thought the ladies preferred
something alcoholic.

<I would recommend a great bottle
of Park Lane. - Sorry,..

..this Park Len, what is it?
- Whiskey, sir. - Yup?

- So, let's do this: two whistles ....
- .... three rams!

But isn't there something digestive?
I really like Roger lemonade!

Good boy! Four Roger lemonades for everyone!


the lemon!

- Cha-cha-cha! Cheek to cheek!
- What does it mean?

It's a Japanese proverb,
then I'll explain it to you.

Here you are, gentlemen.


Soon! Soon! Soon!

- Thank you so much!
- You are welcome!

What are you doing? This goes away!

- And he goes away?
- He shows it to us and takes it!

- Ah, start again!
Leave the stuff alone! - Yup.

- To the ladies!
- To the ladies.

Ladies first.

- Omelette alla fiamma, signore.
- Good! Thank you so much.

- Cheers!
- Cheers!

Cirio! Which is?

<Peppino: Fire!
<Antonio: What is it?

The flames! Every man for himself!





- That's enough! - Every man for himself!
- What are you doing ?! Stop it!

Stand still! Every man for himself!

Every man for himself! On fire!

But what does she want?

Since you entered
you have made a mess! That's enough!

- We did it for good ...
that's a pyromaniac! - Not at all!

- It was just a
flame omelette ! - A what?

- Omelette!
- Romoletto to the flame!

- And where is Romoletto?
- Let it go! - Do me a favor!

Get back to your seats, gentlemen!
Music! Music!


What he wants? What he wants?

<Master: Music! Music!

<Maître: Calm down, gentlemen, come back ....
- Do you understand?

I can't lift it!


- Are you hurt?
- No, leave!

- Are you hurt?
- I wasn't hurt! - Oh well.

Please, now, calm down! I understand that you are
quite crazy types ...

- We are happy.
- I understand, but now a little attitude.

- All right.
- Excuse me so much.

- Do not offend!
- I don't offend anyone.

- '' Contegno '', he says!
- I meant: a little calm.

- Do your duty.
- Bring it here!

- The customer is always right, understand?
- Exactly. - Eh, sorry!

- Anto ', shut up!
- The customer is always right!

But we are wrong this time.

- Leave it to us.
- You are welcome! - Go away!

- We are familiar with these things.
- Go!

- I'm in their hands.
- Yes sir!

We are familiar with these things.

Oscar: Due whisky!

Here we go, love!

I found my coat.

- Then let's drink on it. Cheers!
- Ciccillo!

My love,
after you come to my house.

- Because?
- You ask me, why?

I'll show you some Chinese prints!
#The woman is still .... #

Shut up, Anto '!
If not, the waiter takes it out on me.

- What about drugs? - It's in the pocket,
in the talcum powder box.

Get it and let's go now.
They can see me and warn my husband.

It would bother me because I didn't tell him.
Please, I beg you.

Wait a moment!

Antonio! Antonio!

- #The woman is motionless .... #
- Sst!

- It's not me, it's him!
- Huh?

- Because? Can't you sing?
- Ah, listen, Anto '....

- Profane!
- Listen, Anto ', there is someone there ...

- What is' I'm '' Sant'Antonio ''? - No,
"Listen, Antonio." - '' Listen, Antonio ''!

Perhaps that gentleman wants to talk
to you, he makes gestures like this.

- Where is it?
- Is it the Minister?

- Where is it? To the left?
- In front of you.

- Let me look.
- And look! - Let me look.

And look...

- Ah, no, that's a friend of mine.
- Yup? - He's a friend of mine.

- But nothing dancing here? - Yes ...
- My head is already dancing.

- You dance with me.
- Yup!

<Peppino: But I dance badly!
- Peppino!

- Bala, Peppino, drink and bala.
- Thanks.

Brings good. It brings good luck.

- Drink and bala!
- Let's go dancing. <Antonio: Go!

After you come to my house.

do see chinese prints.

Here we go!

Let's dive into the dolce vita!

- What is this? What dance is it?
- Cheek to cheek! Cha-cha-cha!

Cha-cha-cha! Mamma mia,
the sweet Chinese life!

But how tall you are! How tall you are!

- Off with your shoes! He takes off his shoes!
- Yup!

Anto '! (RlDE)

# Father-father-father. #

What does he do?

They have a lot of fun!

- What do I have in my pocket?
- What is this? - I do not know.

- But it's talc.
- No. - Talc.

Is it talcum powder? Borotalco, they say.

- Borotalco.
- Oh yes. You are right.

- It's good?
- I'll keep it, you never know.

I take a bath at Christmas.
Who cares?

So, do you decide?

But how do I do it?
Can't you see he's not alone?

Okay, I'll take care of it.
Keep the cosmetic bag.


- Have you lost anything?
- My cosmetic bag.

I put her in this chair.
I do not understand.

Didn't he
accidentally put it in his pocket ?

- Did he take me for a thief?
- For heaven's sake, don't ....

Sit down, look,
be patient, sorry!

What does he do?

There is not. But how is this possible?

But she tastes it! If so,
give me the address. I come to your home.

- Don't be funny. - No.
- Darling, come on, let's go!

Let's go dancing.
If he finds it, will he beckon me?

- No, but look ...
- Later, later.

Mamma mia, he's undressing!
Anto ', he's undressing!

Absolutely must take back the box.

- Come on, let's go dancing.
- Yup.

- You strip-tease?
- No, mi vergogno!

- You strip-tease!
- No. - Yes, let's get together!

- Maybe the other one has it.
- And get close, you idiot!

I'm going there, moron!

- Change the ladies?
- Hey?

- Shall we change the lady?
- And why?

- Look how beautiful!
- Peppino: What do we do? What are they doing?

- What are you doing? I have to? He's touching me ...
- Peppino: Let's change checkers!

- Let's change the lady!
- Antonio: We change!




Peppino, save yourself, I save myself!

Anto '! Anto '!

But how dare you!

Don't be a fool!

Anto '!




Ready! Police!
Quick, come now!

There are two crazy people
who are destroying the place!

Yes, immediately!


#Rock and Roll e Cha-cha-cha!
Rock and Roll e Cha-cha-cha!#


#Marilina e Cha-cha-cha!
Rock and Roll e Cha-cha-cha! #

Marilina, my love!

- Mamma Mia!
- I'm not Marilina, me!

#E Cha-cha-cha. #


Su! Su!

- Long live the women!
- Long live women ...

Viva le donne!
#E Cha-cha-cha. #


#E Cha-cha-cha .... #

- But is he drunk?
- Almost.

Which car is
parked all night?

- One of these two.
- Like "one of these two"?

- This or that? You must know!
- I think this. - Open the door!

Do you put it in?
This dirties everything!

- You are right! Open the trunk.
- This dies there!

One less city clerk.
Are not you happy? You open!

- # .... Cha-cha-cha .... #
- My cousin, ..

.. now we go to a bed of roses.
- Where are we going, my Marilina?

- Now Marilina is coming. Go inside.
- My Marilina ...

- Peppino: Give me Marilina!
- Give me Marilina ...

- Ah! I can not stand it anymore!
- It's late, I'm going to sleep. - Yup.

Here, take it to your house.

- Bring the coat back to me tomorrow.
- How beautiful! Where did you get it?

This is business
that does not concern you, understand?

Watch it there! The budding father-in-law!

Ah, what a sleep!

Ah, the cola! Ah, the cola!


Who is it? Ah, that's him.




(laughing) Gugo, listen!

- Gugo, listen!
- How young I feel!

Gugo, listen: what club are you taking
me to dance to now?

No, enough with dancing and with the locals.
Instead now is the time to go.

- ....for a walk!
- As? - I drive! - No, I'm driving!

Get over there! Well done, like that.

- Magda ...
- Not in the car, Gugo, you know that, right?

Yes I know. Then let's go
to via Paisiello.

La tua bachelor? May!

Is it possible that I always have to find
a strange new place?

Gugo, evolve, please!

You don't like the Colosseum anymore,
they kicked us out of the barn, .. the Tiber they almost arrest us,
raids in Villa Borghese, ..

you know where you want to go tonight?

- Gugo? - Yup?
- Are there still displaced people?

- A few shacks, yes.
- Take me to a shack, please!

<But I don't know any shacks!
<So, listen: on the outskirts, ..

... those beautiful tall, filthy buildings
with many windows and a barking dog.

<I don't know any dogs and besides, he is not
from our environment. - Then nothing!

Oh, Magda!


- Antonio!
- The little man in the parking lot!

- Good evening, lady.
- What do you do here?

- I look at the car.
- Inside? - It's cold outside.

Listen up, lawyer,
since earlier, in spite of myself, ..

..I heard that the young lady
wanted to go with her ..

.. on the outskirts, in one of those
filthy high rises, with filthy windows, ..

.. inhabited by filthy people,
since I live right there, ..

..if they want to accept
my hospitality, with a good heart.

So lucky!
Do you see him, what is he looking for?

- It is far?
- No, to the Ceased Spirits. - Spirits?

- Yes, but the spirits have ceased!
- Sin! - Here we go!

Come on, Gugo, quick!

Please, take a seat!

- Huh? What do you think?
- Ugly!

Oh well, externally,
but inside it's another thing entirely.

But it's adorable, gorgeous!
Wonderful! Filthy! Beautiful! Thanks.

- You are welcome!
- Beautiful.

- I guessed the
lady's taste , huh? - Yup!

- Then we go? - Yup!
- You are welcome. - Thanks. - I'll lead the way.

- Beware that there is a hole there.
- I saw her, thanks. - Do not mention it.

- Gugo? But where did he go?
- What do I know? He was with us now!

- Gugo! Gugo!
- I'm here!

- There he is! - What are you doing there? Sorry, dear,
do you think it's time to joke?

I'm not kidding, dear,
and I was breaking my leg.

- Antonio: Excuse me, did I warn you?
- And I saw the hole. - So?

- Ouch ... - Was
he hurt? - No.

- Is there a lot to climb?
- There is to go down.

- Do you live in the cellar?
- No, it's a basement.

- It will be wet. - A little'. When it
rains, a little water gets in, ..

..but I have taken the necessary precautions.
- Precautions? What an idea!

- By this way.
- Other holes?

No, don't worry,
it goes smoothly here . Very smooth!

- Antonio: This way, come on!
- Gugo: Do ​​you lead the way?

- Magda: What a dream!
<This way!

(in Roman dialect) Steal the spare wheel
, hurry up!

Quiet, I'll take care of it here!
Come on, steal!

<Did you steal?

- Kill them!
- What happened? Who is it?

- He'll be an American colonel.
- And what did he die of?

He has the trumpet: of thrombosis!

Street! Hurry up!

- Come in, come on!
- It's pitch dark here!

- Can't you see with the pesto?
- Be careful where you put your feet, ..

..that you enjoy falling into holes.
- Sure!

- Can you swim?
- Because? - Thus, it is a useful sport.

Come on, come on.

- Done. - This is not a house, it
is a lake! - But it's delicious!

- He told me he can swim.
- I can not swim!

- Let's not start ...
- He won't expect me to dive!

Gugo, don't be bourgeois!
This environment is truly delightful!

- Bugo, the lady is right.
- Not at all "Bugo", Gugo!

We are there: the '' Bughi '' family. Even
the Gruyere has holes and does not complain.

Is that true, madam?

I don't know, this environment
reminds me of something.

- Something ... - Can I tell you?
I can? Venice! - Good boy!

Bugo, I got it right!

- Look ... - Tell me.
- Do you swim here in the summer?

- No, unfortunately it is dry in summer.
- Maybe we better leave.

What are you saying, Gugo?
But it is wonderful! I want to stay here.

- Look, dear. - Tell me, dear.
- Did you make this pool?

- No, I'm going back here,
to those of the stadium. - Divine!

Is there at least a quiet place to
stay with the lady dry?

- I can ferry you to the bedroom!
- What ferry ?! I dive into the lagoon!

- This dives! - Embè?
- I say, it dives! Magda, you can't!

- You're not a Swede! It is not!
- And from where?

- Trasteverina.
- I told you! Oh-oh!

- But here we touch!
- Thanks, it's not the ocean!

This is my living room,
they flooded it today.

Clear, fresh and fresh waters
that envelop my body, I love you!

- Praised be you, white foam,
for your voluptuous kiss. - Magda!

- Gugo, drink from this cup!
- What should I drink? - It's clean, it's rainy!

- You do not want? So, kiss me!
- After, dry.

- You do not want? Then I let the little man kiss me
. - From the little man? - I'm in!

- You're crazy!
- I do it for cavalry. - Here we go!

How beautiful!

Look! But what is this?
Picasso's dove?

No, it's my hen, and don't
mistreat me that the daily egg makes me.

(laughing) Co-co-co-cock!


Oh, my little darling chicken!
Come mi sta?

A love! It rejuvenates her.

My dear little hen from Ciociaria!

- Magda, your whole dress gets wet.
<But what are you saying?

Look, you don't think it's
a little messed up, the ....

- No because? Do you find that I'm doing
some weirdness? - No.

- So?
- Well ...


Just, gallina! Gugo, ..

..and now what do we do?
- Eh! What do we do now?

Now let's go dry
in the bedroom.

- Gugo, the bedroom ?!
- Gugo, what vulgarity!

- Are you taking it too, now?
- The raft! you and me on the raft ..

..and the little man rocking us.
- God forbid!

- So me and the little man on the raft
and you swinging on it. - I'm in! - And I don't!

- And why?
- I do not know.

But what strange things!

I have an idea! Now I let the little man kiss me
and you slap him.

- What, are we kidding?
- What do you say?

So get slapped
by the little man, if not what do we do?

- I'm in it. I'm leaving! - All right.
- How cold! I would like a coffee.

- What do you take? - A coffee please.
- Two coffees, quick!

- My long.
- Yeah, a long one, good.

- Coffee from Egypt ?!
- And where from, then?

- The little man's bed.
- The little man is me!


- Antonio, come on!
- I come later.

- Antonio!
- The lady wants to tell me something.

It's a good time, that's always the case!
Go make coffee.

- Have her examined.
- I'll visit it.

- I did the nurse.
- It does not matter! - All right.

- Go make coffee!
- Flight!

- Gugo ...
- Yes ...


> Gugo: The bed!
> Magda: How nice!

> Gugo: Pull up!

- Cheer up!
- Gugo, do you know what I'm telling you?

- You really bored me!
- But how?

Street! Street! Soon!
You're dull, I can't take it anymore!

- Gugo, what idea did you have
to bring me here? - Magda, ..

.. before you were so euphoric ...
> What does that mean? > It means ....

> Magda: Sapientone!
You don't even know it!

> Gugo: What do you want me to tell you?
This place starts to fascinate me.

> Gugo: Calm down, a few minutes and ....
> How vulgar you are! Everything here is!

> You, the little man, the hen!
> What does the hen have to do with it now?

What a horror!

Magda! Magda!


Mr. Gugo! Please
ask the lady:

..Do you want coffee restricted
or do you prefer it long?



I can not hear!

Mr. Gu -

Signor Gugo!

Mr. Gu -

Yes -


<Antonio: E mo?

Oh my God, Peppino! Peppino!





Colleagues, here we are
in front of the ministerial residence!

And if His Excellency the Minister
never wanted to listen to us, ..

..this time he will listen to us!

Unauthorized of all
urban and interurban parking lots, unite!


What do we ask of the
established and reconstituted authorities ?

A parking spot in the sun!

What has
our category achieved so far ? Chatter,..

..promises, vagueness!
I say: vagueness!

Abusive, here is abused! It is being abused!
Time to stop asking!

We have been patient for 40 months!
Thats enough!

This time, if we don't get
what we ask for, I, ..

.. as President of the SPA,
Abusive Parking Company, ..

..I will use the UN!


Colleagues! Abusive! The madames!
Get by!


- Hey, stop!
- What he wants? How dare you?

I don't know you, introduce yourself! Is it possible to
stop those who go about their business in this way?

- Few stories!
- But I'm looking for a parking spot in the sun.

- Come with me that you end up in the shade.
- Exactly. - One moment!

His Excellency
wants to listen to these citizens.

- I'm the President!
- Come and confer.

Excuse the disorder.

Please take a seat on this side!
This way. You are welcome!

I was called urgently.

This is the leader of the demonstrators
who wanted to hear.

- Oh yes. - Listen to me.
- Another day, now I don't have time.

We are 300
illegal parking attendants. You authorize us.

A word! I can't ask the
ACl for 300 seats, can I?

- Are too many? - Eh!
- Well, 300 is a little too much.

- Oh, I say, but ... I'm not a fiasco!
- To see? He is understanding.

I am understanding, yes.
Well, I want to meet you.

- She? - Yes, I'll meet you.
Let's do this: give the place to me.

- l 299 they make do, poor boys.
- Cute, selfless.

- In fact, I've already prepared my application.
I signed it. - No question?

Bravo, man to man,
between gentlemen no question is needed.

Santini, listen to him, I'm pressed.
I have to go to TV for rehearsals.

- Ah, do you work on TV? - Yeah.
- It looked like a familiar face!

- Bell tower evening?
- Not at all!

- The Mystery Object?
- Not at all!

- Anyway, he's good. Let us have fun!
- Am I playing Pulcinella ?!

- Does Pulcinella?
- But no! I'm going to the electoral tribune!

Very funny!
I had a lot of laughs!

- Santini, get him off my feet!
Here we go! - See you, Excellency!

- Dear Santino, the thing is gone!
- Come with me, I'll take care of it.

- And when can I come to the service?
Tomorrow? - How it runs! It's not easy!

His Excellency
said to give me a seat.

Actually, he said:
'Get him off my feet.'

Embè? What does it mean? That until he
finds my place, I'll be in his way.

Santino, let's stick to orders!
This bureaucracy! Uff!

- Are you in a hurry? - I have
to be at the courthouse by 11:00.

- Can you leave me at the hairdresser?
- With pleasure, dear.

- Are you having breakfast at home today?
- No, I'm at the accountant Candini.

- What are you doing in the afternoon?
- The usual canasta from Orietta.

- Lock.
- My phones?

- Because?
- So, to hear you.

- I'll see. Do you drive?
- Yes, I'm driving. - Good.


Be careful!


- I told you to be careful.
- What, dear? - Sound the horn!

Do I sound the horn ?! You must be
a little exhausted, maybe you work too hard.


- But there must be contact!
- Of course.


Why do you look behind?
The horn is in front.

But I feel it from behind. Wait up.



But the noise comes from here!

- Long last! Have you opened, huh?
- It was she who was playing the trumpet!

- Who put this trumpet
in my hand? - I do not know?

- Ah, didn't you know? - No!
- We'll see!

- We have a spare man, dear!

A man? What are you saying?

- Uh! A lady!
- Well, what are you doing here?

- But who are you?
- The owner of the car.

- And who put me here?
- I wish I knew too.

- She kidnapped me!
- As? - What do you want this?

- The one that was under the tablecloth!
- What tablecloth?

- What are you waiting for to kick him out ?!
- Now she is exaggerating! Bait!

- Do not touch me! - How dare you?
- And she? - He doesn't know who I am!

- I have a glorious fallen in the family!
- I'm calling the guards! - He's crazy!

- Stay calm! - Do not touch me!
- Let's go up!

- You know what? - Say!
- You know what? - Say!

I don't remember ... wait!

(murmuring) Cuckold!

(groaning) Ahi, ahi, ahi.

Ohi, ohi, ohi. Ah!



Peppino, are you there?

Nock If you are there!

- Countess!
- Good morning.

- Good morning, ma'am.
- Good morning.


See you well, madam.

<Man 1: Excellence.
- Hello.

<Man 2: Good morning, honorable.
- Very expensive.

- Excellence!
- I can't listen to you, I'm in a hurry.

- And how do we do that?
- As the ancients did. Here we go!

- And how did they do it? - And what do I know!
Don't you see that you are intrusive?

- I know. And the promise?
- I can't listen to you.

- I have to go to TV. I have to change.
- He looks good dressed like that.

- I feel sick. Pray for me!
- As? <Pray for me!

And who prays for me?

- Follow that car!
- Are we in America ?!

- Don't make a fuss! Forward!
- Okay.


SPA offices?

Miss, sorry, it's still me.
That ... the secretary, the cousin.

Huh? There is not?
This is never there, mamma mia!

I spent a hell of a night.
This Rome is a wrath of God!

If I were in the Municipality, here,
I'd take care of it! Oh, but ... but ....

Eh! The bell ringer has arrived!

- Hello? No ... no ...
- Is he angry with me? - Sorry.

Can't that television be turned down?

> Minister: We will fight
with the people and for the people!

> Moderator: The Minister presented
his party's point of view.

The word to the journalists, whom I invite
to keep within the established times.

So, short questions.

- Did he buy the phone?
- I'm talking! Did you buy it?

- No, but ... - I'm entitled to it!
- Go ahead, but I'm in a hurry, please.

- I'm here first!
- Talk, but don't waste time!

- Ready! This one is gone!
- Eh, she's gone ...

- Alright then! Are you happy?
- I have to call him.

- And phone!
- And how do I do with her here in front?

Please, in short! In short!
What is that?!

Asked by the very clear
Dr. Minutolo, we answer: it depends.

Very well, I
am really satisfied.

Antonio Barbacane, of the SPA

Who is it?

- I don't know.
- I think I know him.

Honorable Minister, we have known for some time
that the squatters of the city ...

... they live in precarious conditions.
- Excuse me, but which squatters?

Let me finish.

Someone comes to take his vehicle
and says: '' Antonio, I have no change ''.

I answer him: '' Oh, look. ''

Someone else who may have stayed
for 2 or 3 hours gets away with 50 lire.

Someone else still says:
'' Antonio, I'll pay tomorrow ''.

It seems human to her that a wretch
who has been in the elements all day, ..

.. in the evening do you take home, yes and no,
20-30,000 lire? Let's make the chickens laugh!

Yes, I understand, there are holidays
where the work increases and increasing .. have to do this, to bring
home 40, 45, 50,000, go!

It's all dripping fat, Excellency.

- In short, who are you?
<The President of the SPA, ..

..National Abusive Posteggiatori Union
. - But how did he get in?

I saw the others enter
and followed them. What, am I stupid?

<Then he entered illegally!
- Sure, I'm an abusive!


Excuse me, Excellency! Stop
the transmission! Throw him out!

Ah, no, this cannot be done!
It is not democracy!

- Bravo, Antonio!
- I'll go to The Hague, if that's the case!

- What are you reading?
- Nothing!

- What are you reading?
- Nothing!

- Nothing! - Let me see!
- Nothing! - Let me see!

I have your protection.
You read this, huh?

I didn't read, I looked at the pictures.

- Shameless that you are nothing else!
Did you look at the figures? - Eh!

Worse than going at night!
At your age?

You have to read Mickey Mouse,
not this stuff here!

- And what am I doing with Mickey Mouse?
- How do you mean?!

- Why are you doing with these?
- I know!

- How would that be ?!
- Forget it!

You scoundrel who are nothing else!

I'll kill you, you know? Son of a dog!

- Anto '! Antonio!
- Ueh!

I finally found you!
I traveled around half of Rome, you know?

Without knowing the streets!
What have you done?

- But ... Antonio! - Oh!
- Antonio! - Huh?

- How are you dressed?
- Because?

- What are you doing?
- Shut up! Shut up!

- Shut up! - Because? - Here in Rome
there are a lot of tax agents!

If they see you elegant, they write
and increase the complementary.

- Listen, Antonio, have you talked
to the Minister? - Right now.

- And what did he tell you?
- As soon as he recognized me, '' Out! ''.

Outside there were a lot of people, photographers,
interviews, they made flashes of me.

- I'm sorry. - Because?
- Did they fool you?

- No, "flash"! - Ah!
- That would be flash photography.

- No, because Grandpa wants to know.
- The Minister told me: '' It depends, .. ''

'' ... his grandfather wants the highway too
long, we need to move the country. ''

'' Should you move a country? ''.

- Antonio!
- Uh! Baroness, good evening!

Come, let me introduce you to the Baroness.

<Antonio: Commands!
- Please come with us!

- And where are we going?
- Don't ask!

- Besides, I can't, my cousin is here.
- Who cares? Bring him too! Soon!

And you, follow us!
Come on quickly!

Are you crazy?
But are you bringing those two wretches?

Antonio is the only one in via Veneto
who has a little lira in his handbag.

<Woman: Let's all go!


- And now for the gas? - At the first
distributor we fill up.

- They'll take care of it! - Listen:
you who are from those parts, ..

.. have they already eaten Kilimanjaro
or not yet?

- I don't know, I'm from the Congo.
- But then she is a congolina.

- Peppino, the lady is a congolina.
- Yes, yes...

- Be good, you touch me too much.
- He, on the other hand, is so good, ..

..makes the maternal instinct come.

Where are we going? I am an authority!
What is it here? I am President ..

.. to the Monuments Office.
- learn to live! Do the pleasure!

In the evening we, at the soirèe,
have fun.

- Let's go to a party!
- What?

- To a birth!
- Ah, and say it first! Whose?

Soreta, okay?

- How fun!
- But whose is this? - What's this?

Baroness, how much do we put?

Antonio, you do, I rely
on your good heart.

- Half a liter is enough?
<But what half a liter? ll full!

Full? Yes, a full one,
but not too full, like that.



As a line ....

Quick, Gianni, I'm in a hurry!
Quick, please!

Excellency, I had not recognized her!
Good evening. Tell me a little, ..

.. at what point are we with my seat?
- Enough, it's not persecuted like that ..

.. a poor Christian!
- Democrat, so you have to listen to me.

No, no and no! I don't listen to it at all!
In fact, I'll give you the job, okay?

- Thanks. And when does he give it to me?
- Quick, very soon!

- Tomorrow, as long as he doesn't
show up again! - Do you swear it?

- I swear to you! - And where?
- I give you my word!

- Tomorrow he will have it, Minister's word!
- It is enough for me. - Come on, Gianni!

- Excellency, respects!
- Street! Street!

- What a combination! Tomorrow gives me ....
> Radio: Latest news:

..the Government
resigned an hour ago ....

Did you understand?
He knew he was falling.

Patience! The ministers pass,
the men remain.

- Come on, Antonio,
who are waiting for us at the castle! - Here I am!


- How much does my cousin pay?
<Gas station: 4,000 lire.

- Peppino, pay! - Huh?
- And pay, that we waste time!

- And we lose ....
- We want to pay the little man?

- Oh well, I pay ... how much is it?
- 4,000 lire. - Mom!

- Sorry, it's new.
- How much do you get gasoline?

But how '' what do you do ''?
What, is it wine?

- Did you put oil in it?
- Without oil.

- Without oil, 4,000 lire ?! It's expensive.
- Is it a pizza? Pay!

Here we go! Let's go have fun!

Here we go to pervert!
This pushes!

- Think about health.
<Peppino: Who knows this?

<Jacqueline (French accent):
All mogi! It's a funeral, not a party!

Come on, young men, cheer!
If not, it's not my celebration.

Franco, why don't you drink?
Get drunk!

Get drunk, Franco! And you too!

How boring, these parties!

- Nothing ever happens.
- the usual drinks, the usual drugs.


- Gugo: I've always thought ....
- Tell us.

- I always thought ....
- Don't be silly!

When did you ever think of something?
If it weren't for Oscar to do it for us ...

Darling, but I think because you exist
and you exist so that I can think.

- And who thinks of me?
- We'll take care of it, ox.

I told you I don't want
you to put my butts in my face.

But what am I supposed to do without ashtrays?
Should I make the figure of the boor?

- Darling, give me some whiskey
for Carolina. - What brand is it?

- Antiquary, naturalmente.
- Oh, no, my God!

He only drinks King's Ransom,
you need to be more up to date!

- Always witty, Jacqueline.
- She's nervous, poor thing.

To prepare for this party, he
didn't have a moment of pause.

Menopause, you mean.

Did you find at least something filthy,
a place to be quiet?

- I would have thought of Carolina's kennel.
- What agony! Always the same things!

But isn't there a pigsty, a stable?
Please inform yourself ..

..otherwise I swear
I'll send you blank.


- Muuuh!
- Cretin!

How boring! Why don't we organize
a striptease?

Antonio: Are we added?

- How beautiful!
- Peppino: It looks like a cemetery to me.

- Don't start being a peasant!
- Can we at least know where we are going?

But what do you care
to know where we go?

Let's go to the homes of people who know how to live,
who lead the dolce vita, ..

..who lives better than me and you.
I got it?

- So you're not one of them?
- You bothered me, I'll tell you the truth:

..I don't have a penny.
- Ueh! What do you think?

Do you know what SPA means?
Abusive Parking Company.

Do you know why I went to the Minister?
For an authorized seat. I got it?

And now go tell your grandfather.
Run! Fly! Zompa!

And tell him that his nephew is penniless,
and that to stay in via Veneto ..

..does the valet. And that today, having
found an environment that suits me, ..

.. nobody moves me anymore!
Go tell him! Run! Zompa! Fly!

- Did you tell him? Who answered you?
- But then I'm in trouble!

- Anto ', I'm in trouble!
- What have you got to do with it?

- How would that be? I have something to do with it because
I 'm headed! - That would?

- I'm not too well either,
let's be honest! - Ueh! - Oh yeah!

I want to tell you the truth: the
City Council were about to kick me out.

- Jesus, what do you tell me?
- Due to certain shortages.

Jesus, what do you tell me? What's up?

- Do you remember Filomena,
the pharmacist's wife? - And how!

I, Jesus, I used to give her gifts,
taking some money from the box ....

But who are you angry with?

- Who are you talking to?
- I say '' Jesus '' because you make me horrified!

Ah here! So, to give
Filomena gifts , I was looking for ....

"So", I said, "I sell myself some
sheep from my grandfather, but I couldn't."

- '' So '', I said, '' I'm going to Rome,
to find Antonio, my cousin ''. - To me?

Since there's that damn
highway thing.

Not even this was successful!
How do I now? How should it be done?

- You have to stop, you make me dizzy!
Did you understand?! - And now how do we do it?

There would be a remedy,
a fair resolution. Are you willing?

- yes. - You must have a character,
understand? Fair! - I got it.

I give you the advice
and you carry it out, literally!

- Do you have the courage to run it?
- yes. - Shoot yourself!

- What do you care? - You are crazy!
I shoot myself and then I don't care?

- Then we have some laughs.
- Do not be silly!

- So what do we do?
- Do you shoot yourself too? - Are you stupid?

Let's do one thing: stay here with me,
with them, let's have fun!

- And with grandfather? - What do you care?
- And the inheritance? - No! Sweet life! Orgies!

- Yes, the orgies! - Let's do
this orgy! - Let's do it!

- Do you like orgy? - I like it!
- Orgie for two!

- Sweet life!
- Long live the sweet life!


- Quick, let's go! - Madam Baroness,
who is this party for?

It's an anniversary! Maria Grazia
Sofia Lorena celebrates the centenary!

What fun! In the car
the blondes, at the castle the centenarians!

Aren't you ashamed of your husband?

- He doesn't care! - yes!
- You're an idiot!

- Excuse me, Gugo, but when it takes
it it takes. - You are a friend.

- Let's go over there and get a shot
of Joan of Arc. - What about?

Heroin, moron!
Let's go let's go! Pardon.

Did you understand?

Sweet life!

- Vedo.
- Full.

- Poker.
- How badly he tells me today, damn it!

Excuse me, huh! Sorry.

They have finally arrived!
Why this delay?

- An engine breakdown.
- There was a cloth in the engine, ..

..then my cousin ....
- Yes, I took it off.

- For a fee, look who I brought you!
- How cute! - I'm going down!

- Who are they?
- Antonio Barbacane of the SPA

- Renato!
- Peppino Barbacane.

- Pleasure. - She's gone.
- I know you, can you introduce yourself?

Uh, we were late!
It will be the centenary, he is already dead.

- They lit candles for him.
- You are crazy?

- But does he breathe?
- Sure! - And with what?

With your mouth, with what?

- Because it looks dead. - It seems!
- What are you doing? - Wait for death. - Ah.

Miss, are you waiting for death?

- But no, it's Jacqueline's grandfather!
- Giacchettin's grandfather!

- What a beautiful dog! - Mamma Mia!
- What a beautiful dog!

- It's wonderful!
- Mamma Mia!

- And it looks like you! It looks like you!
- Beautiful! - If you put yourself like this ...

Yes, he jokes ... don't touch them
too much, these are very ferocious!

- They are the famous Viennese greyhounds.
- Stupid! He's a toy poodle!

<Jacqueline: A little whiskey?
- Thanks.

- Shall we toast its centenary?
- Centennial? However!

He's 100 years old!
Getting there!

- Long live the granny of Rome! - What do you say?
Today I celebrate my 100th lover!

- I get it! Is it going to 101?
- But no, he has to find the number 100.

- Tried at the bottom right?
- (laughing) How crazy! Padlocks!

(in French) It's your turn to
play the 'Truth Game'!

Look, you, with that
dirty provincial air, .. your country they don't wash
before going to bed?

We wash in the evening
and also in the morning.

- My woman have abandoned me!
- Oh!

He cheated on me with something else!

I suffer it! I suffer!

Oh yes? Do you call them '' I suffer ''?
Here they are called '' horns ''.

Anyway, limoncino, don't be mad.
What do you want? It is weakness of the flesh.

Meat? Why, my being a vegetable?

Sayonara, very honorable colnuto.

- Rascal, how dare you ?!
- But how?! I didn't touch it!

- Exactly! How dare
you not touch me? - Should I touch her?

- Do I let myself be offended like that ?!
- Sir, I tell you!

- His behavior
is unspeakable! - Yes but....

No man sitting next to Magda
has ever allowed himself not to touch her.

- Exactly because she is a mother ...
- Which "mother"? Magda!

What is it ?! Are we kidding?
Who did you take me for?

What are they? An ancient Greek prince?
Leave me alone!

- Uh, sorry!
- Permit? Python.

- Python?
- Python.

The name is not new to me. Do you have a sister
named Boa? No '' Bona '', Boa.

I am the Marquis Daniele Augusto
Maria Fortebraccio Pitoni. And she?

Pardon. I'm Antonio Barbacane.
Of the Barbican.

Barbican, huh? Barbican ... Nothing
to do with Pisacane, I suppose.

No, no, no. That's a Tuscan strain.
Mine is Etruscan.

I descend from the Etruscan.
In person, as you can see.

'' Cave canem '':
in Latin it would be '' Barbican ''.

Sayonara. Sayonara.
Excuse me, are you Chinese?

- No.
- Then I was wrong.

Run, come over there, the session begins,
there are spirits! Here we go!

Peppino, the session!
Let's go sit down!

Anto ', an orgy has begun!


(softly) Silence, silence!

Here, here. Shed some light.


- (shouting) But where are we going?
- All: Sst!

- You don't have the session?
- We were already sitting.

- We've been seated so far.
- What are you saying? The séance!

- Norma is already in a trance!
- Ah! Did you understand? Norma is already in the tram!

- In the face of the tram! Do you have loose change?
- What does that have to do with anything?

- Come here!
- Quiet, please!

Aho! Eh!

- Contact, contact ...
- Yes, yes ...

- Let's join hands.
- And don't break the chain.

The chain does not break, it is pulled.
Peppino, pull the chain!

- Where is it? - No, shoot here!
Hands, to you. Shoot at you! - Oh yes.

<Man: Shut up!
- Sst!

- There is? - Oh God?
- Is there or isn't there?

I'm afraid, I was born seven months,
Antonio knows.

- How not? He didn't want to go out!
<Silence! - Sst!

We try to make contact
with the soul of the dead.

But whose deaths?
ours or theirs?

- No, the soul of your dead.
- theirs, right? - And what, ours?

<Man: Shut up!
- Yup.

<Man: It seems there are.
- There is! - There is?

Jacqueline: Norma, if the spirit is there,
tell me who the chosen one should be.

Who are you?

Who are you?

- Who are you?
- Peppino, tell him who you are!

I am Giuseppe Barbacane ....

Wretch, what did you say ?!

Sit down and pull the chain!


The important thing is to know things.

- The truth doesn't hurt.
- Anto '... - Shut up.

- It is doubt, uncertainty,
which torments the soul. - Yup.

- In life and in death, there are
true things and supposed things. - True.

Let's put the real things aside,
but where do we put the suppositories?

<Antonio: For now let's put
aside the suppositories.

- Would you like to ask the spirit a question?
- Yup.

<Ghost: I
want to ask a question!


Anto '! I am seventh!

Peppino (groaning):
Pity for a septet!

How do you have fun with these
shit? I was bored.

You're a fool, you know?
Are they jokes that are made?

- I feel sick!
- At the risk of making him die!

- I feel bad! - He feels bad!
Is there a doctor? A midwife? Someone!

Do you feel bad? A cognac, quick!
This dies!

- Give me a cognac!
- There he is!

Hurry up, Antonio!

- Soon! - How do you feel now?
- I feel a little better. - Thank god.

It's past, thank goodness.
The session resumes.

But what do you recover? An accident!
But does she recover like this?

Do you believe that we are men like you?
You are rascals!

To scare my cousin, at the risk
of dying! You are cuckolds!

- Sir, but you offend!
- Sir, do you know who you're talking to?

- Who are you talking to?
- Who am I talking to?

- How dare you? - You don't understand
anything! - It is he who must speak!

- Well?
- Say!

You speak to the Marquis Daniele
Augusto Maria Fortebraccio de Pitonis!

(ironic) Eeeh!

And these offenses I wash them
in one way only: with blood!

- I can not! - Because?
- I'm anemic! Eziandio, he knows.

- It's true, I ....
- Mere excuses!

- Do not withdraw, by now you have gone
too far! - Yup!

- There's not one thing to do:
duel! - A duel.

- I like the idea.
- Shall we go blank?

- Yes, I have an ulcer, you know ...
- Okay in white? - Good.

- Is she there?
- It fits, in white!

- So, let's do the rapier?
- We make cod for everyone. - Yup!

Don't joke!
I mean: saber or sword?

- Sword? - Three swords!
- Not necessary! Two are enough!

- Two swords. - Four cups!
- So we have two glasses.

- This is not a joke and you will notice!
To the last blood! - Wow!

- Very well! - Last blood!
- Clear! Go away!

- Where are you going? - Let's go away.
- You have to stay here!

Gentlemen, make way!

Now I am mounted, I have the nerves!

- I make a mess!
- Do you really do it? - it?

- The duel? - You are crazy? You do it!
- it? - He offended us, you're a Barbagallo.

- But he challenged you!
- Out of education I left it to you.

Thank you so much, I can't do it.
For charity! You do not know? I'm seventh!

And what it means? There is the regulation
for the weeks and for the nine years!

- You get into position. - What do I do?
- The position of septet.

..and you start with a slash to the right,
one to the left. I got it?

- And comes a blow that I do not know.
- What do you care? The stinker the better!

- You are ready? - By the way, see?
- What about? - We were talking about slashing.

- Ah well. - Let's wait for the other.
- Very well.

- So, are you fighting?
- No, my cousin. - But how?

- To be polite.
- Yup? Very well, it's the same for me.

- Look!
- But what do they do? They went crazy!

- You choose! - The swords?
- Yes. - Aren't they poisoned?

- What do you think?
- Sometimes they put garlic in it.

- Few stories, choose!
- I'm not fighting, it's my cousin!

- Do you accept the change? - Same blood?
- Yes I accept! - Accept!

- Did you accept the change?
- Yes, choose the swords!

- I chose! - Which?
- Both!

- Can not be done! Only one, the other to him!
- Oh well, he chooses it from me, right?

- Give me a sword, whatever you want!
- Wait, my brother is there.

- Here, here.
- Here. - Here.

- I don't have swords!
- Me neighter. - So?

- Happy duel, gentlemen!
- See you later!


You didn't understand:
it was all a joke.



Guys, shall we play sheep?
It's so funny!

Come on, come on! Everyone down!

Down! Down! Down!

Down! Down!


- Anto ', the grandfather!
- Grandpa has arrived!

Eh, yes, grandpa has arrived!

I have been here for a long time!

I have been watching you for a long time,
ugly rascals, scoundrels, idlers.

Are you taking care of the highway?

Are you building
important relationships ? But with whom?

With a mass of scoundrels
more scoundrels than you?

- No, grandfather, these are all noble!
- This is a princess, ..

..that a countess, the other
a marquise, that is a baroncino.

- A chili!
- A poodle! - A brownish!

But which nobles? But which nobles?

True nobles,
they don't do this crap!

These are mystifying!
They are bogus! Not men, but beasts!

A flock of beasts, of sheep!
And on this feathery and unhealthy flock ..

.. let
my evil curse be hurled powerful and terrible !

Anathema! Anathema on you!


Not no!


- Peppino!
- Oh! - Where are you?

- Eh ...
- What are you reading?

- Grandpa wrote.
- That says?

- Read.
- Let me see.

> Grandfather (Abruzzo accent):
Grandchildren, while you are among the sheep, ..

..I am fighting here to be able to
smooth out the matter that you know well, ..

..that of the highway. Where you have
not succeeded, I will succeed, ..

..with the bones or with the bad ones,
and in the meantime I started with the bones.