Tortilla Soup (2001) - full transcript

Retired Mexican-American chef Martin Naranjo shares an L.A. home with his three gorgeous, but single, adult daughters. Though he long ago lost his ability to taste, Martin still lives to cook incredibly lavish dinners for his loved ones and to serve them in a family-style ritual at traditional sit-down meals. Although the women humor their father's old-fashioned ways, each of them is searching for fulfillment outside the family circle. College student Maribel is growing increasingly frustrated with the singles scene and wants a steady man; gorgeous career woman Carmen is fed up with her boyfriend and his wandering eye; meanwhile, eldest daughter Letitia, who has suppressed her own romantic longings, senses something missing in her life. Things take a turn for the romantic when Dad, a widower, meets a vivacious divorcee on the lookout for a mate and each of his daughters, in turn, finds someone. But they'll all discover that the recipe for happiness may call for some unexpected ingredients.

No, I can't, okay?
I have to finish this report.

JEFF: You can take
a couple hours off.

Well, I know its Sunday, Jeff,
but I'm evaluating a shipping company

for this client from Barcelona,
and he's flying in tomorrow.

I'm not gonna change my mind.

I'll give you a back rub.


Okay, you win.

We'll do it over the phone.

Jeff, don't do this to me.

So, what are you wearing?

I'm not gonna tell you.

Besides a thong and...

Maribel, come here.


I have a boyfriend emergency.
See that guy waiting for me?

The boy from
Ipanema over there.

You wanna bail on him?
He's a babe!

Come on, please?
Tell him I stayed home sick.

Spence is taking me sailing.

Come on. I'll owe you. Okay.


YOLANDA: Come on in.

What do you think?
I took the red out.

It's great!
Yolanda, it makes you look younger.

Younger? Really?

Are you almost done?
Because I don't want to be late.

Yeah. How was church?


How was church?
Anyone interesting?

church is not a pickup bar.

I'm not Catholic anymore,

I remember your dad trying
to understand the difference.

Catholics worship saints,
Christians worship Christ.

Christ was a Christian,
not Catholic.

Uh, honey, Christ was a Jew.


Yeah, and he had great hair.


Speaking of which,
why don't we do something different with your hair?

Me? No, I don't think so.


We could snip it about here,
but the bangs need to grow.

YOLANDA: It would
accentuate your eyes.

What are you doing?
I don't want to do anything with my hair.

Are you gonna come, or what?

Go ahead. I'll be fine.


Tell your dad I'm
bringing April over.


Jeff, I don't know
if this is working.

it's working, believe me.

I don't think
it's strong enough.

Believe me, Carmen.
Trust me on this, it's strong enough.


Are you sure?


Is that an earthquake?

What was that?



- Great chair, Jeff.
- I told you it wasn't strong enough.


You did not say that.

I know.

You don't miss it,
us being a couple?

We sucked as a couple.

I liked us as a couple.

Shit! I didn't realize it
was so late. I gotta go.

Jeff, let me up.


Hey, music store girl.
You know someone named Eden?

Yeah. I'm gonna give
it to you straight.

Eden skipped out the back door
with some Ken doll.

Who is Ken doll?
I don't understand.

Oh, you're not from
this solar system, are you?


She stood you up.
That means...

okay, I know what that means.

It's known to happen
in my solar system as well.

Which, I gather from the music you're listening to,
is Brazil?

You know Brazilian music?

That's Bebel Gilberto's composition,
Sem Contencao,

recorded in 1999.

- Released on Six Degrees Records...
- Wow.

...and originally inspired by the legendary bossa nova artist,
Joao Gilberto

who happens to be her father.

Hey, wait!

- Have a coffee with me.
- Mmm-mmm. I can't. I'm late for dinner.

According to the theory of relativity,
time doesn't exist as we know it.

Yeah, but my father does.

So you're going to
stand me up as well?

No. We didn't have a date.

How do you know, huh?

Maybe this all happened for a purpose.
Maybe you had a date with destiny.

Oh, come on.

Come on.
There's a coffee shop right across the street.

Does my destiny have a name?

But you can call me Andy.

CARMEN: How long are we
gonna wait this time?

Maybe she got
stuck in traffic.

Tu sabes que Maribel
walks home from work.

English or Spanish,
one or the other.


All right. Soup isn't
meant to be served cold.


Dear Lord,
thank you for the blessings of your bounty.

And help us, dear Jesus,
to commit ourselves wholeheartedly

to the service of your name.


Be our guide, Lord Jesus Christ,
and show us your will.

Grant us the privilege of dwelling in the bosom of your love

for now and for all eternity.


Something wrong?

No, it's fine.

- What is it?
- [STUTTERING] She said it was fine.

CARMEN: I don't know.
I think something's missing.


No, I put serranos in.

But you removed the seeds.

You would add seeds.
I respect tradition.

You made it better before, Pa.

- I always make squash flower soup this way.

He's getting worse.
He can't taste anything.

So? Do you have to rub it in?


- Hello?
- Mari, where the hell are you? Sorry.

I'm here already! Give me a break.
Jesus Christ! Sorry, Leti.

- Maribel, do you know what time it is?
- MARIBEL: Gonna wash my hands.

I know, I know.
You don't have to say it.

Perdoname, Daddy.

Please cut the Spanglish.

I may have met
my destiny today.

I thought you
were mad at her.

Why don't you mind
your own business.

- When are you gonna grow up?
- When everybody gets off my back.

Come on, now, come on.
This is not how we behave for dinner. We honor dinner.

We have good manners,
and we have pleasant conversation.

I have a little announcement.

You know the new luxury condos
going up in Playa del Rey?

MARTIN: Mmm-hmm.

Well, a friend of mine who works for the developer gave me a tip

and I was able to
get my bid in early.

You're moving out?

Not immediately, no.

It's still under construction.

Does it have a pool?
Can I come on weekends?

Dad, aren't you
gonna say anything?

Well, if you need a loan
for the down payment...

I'm covered.
I used my savings.


What about the mortgage?

My agent handled everything,
and I even got him to eat half his fee.

I understand.

If you wanted my advice,
you would've asked me before making the decision.

I'm sorry, Dad, but you
would've told me not to do it.


I can't digest my food.

You did last week.



YOLANDA: Hi! Here she is.

Sorry for disturbing dinner.

Hi, Yoli.

You didn't miss
anything unusual.

Just the two
Aries butting heads.

MARTIN: Let's get her a chair.

Here we go. Try this.

What is it?

Nopales. I think
you're going to like it.

Go figure! I can't get her to finish her cereal,
and you get her to eat cactus.

APRIL: Cactus?




Excuse me.

No, I'm not staying.

Oh, that's me.

- Hello?
- WOMAN: Yolanda, where on earth are you?

It's my mom. I guess
her flight arrived early.

- I was just on my way.
- How could you leave me stranded here?

MAN: There's nothing I can do!

But it's Sunday.
And I'm right in the middle of dinner.

The governor's dessert is burned up.
We need your help.

All right,
I'll come by if I have to.

If you're not here
in five minutes...

She thinks she belongs
at the hearing.

A single woman living with her mother.
Looks better?

Here you go.

Oh, April.


I gotta go.
Thanks for baby-sitting.

My pleasure.
We're gonna have fun, right?

I'll see you later.

ALL: Bye.

See you. Bye.

Good night. Bye-bye.

I've got to put out a fire.

What happened to
"We honor dinnertime"?

Did you hear?
Yolanda's mom is moving into the neighborhood.


There's candied pumpkin in the kitchen for your ice cream.

Okay, bye-bye.


MAN: This way, sir, over here.


He's here!



No, they'll never do it again.
Don't fire them.

the apples are still moist.

- How many bread loaves do we have?
- We got plenty of loaves.

Remove the bread crusts
and save the apples.

Cut the baguettes into cubes,
coat them with melted butter and bake them.


I'll prepare the sugar syrup.


We'll call it something French.
Belle melange.


I want every little piece
of burned crust out of there.

I don't want to see one.




- Belle melange?
- Belle melange. It means a lovely mess.


That's perfect for
this Hollywood crowd.


Leti, you have
papers to grade.

Why don't you let me
and Maribel finish?

How long you gonna give me
the silent treatment?

I don't know what you expected.
We are three grown women.


Okay, make that two grown women,
living at home with their daddy.

That might have worked in Mexico,
but he doesn't realize things are different.

He needs to meet someone.
He's been alone for too long.

He only had one
true love in his life.

All they did was
bicker and fight.

That's how
they loved each other.


- What do you remember? You were what?
- I was old enough to know.

Anyway, I have to get out.
And so do you.

When will you get it through your head
that I choose to live my life this way?

Por favor,
you are lying to yourself.

Somebody has to care what happens to Dad.

I care, okay?
I care very much what happens to him,

but I won't use that as an excuse not to live my life.


All you think about is you.

Stop pretending
you're mad at me.

You're mad because Carlos showed you the door a decade ago.

At least I don't sleep
with every guy I meet.

Don't make me out to be a slut just because I've had sex in this decade.

Why don't you wake
up and get a life?

I have a life.

[MIMICKING] I have a life.

You should've stayed Catholic and joined
a convent for all the fun you're having.

MARIBEL: You're aggravating her colitis.
CARMEN: What is wrong now?

Why do you always do that?

- Do what?
- Dismiss me like I don't exist.

It is not just you.
She does it to everybody.

What are you talking about?

Don't play dumb, Carmen.

You can be a real bitch when you want.
No wonder you don't have friends.


What do you know?
You can't even show up on time for dinner.

Oh, please!
Why should I when it always ends up like this?


I can't take it anymore!

Is that a promise or a threat?

Jesus, you're pathetic.
Give it to me!


Oh, my... Are you crazy?

So fun!

No wonder the Greeks do it.
And they sing and dance. Let's try that!

Maribel, wait.

* You won't admit you love me

* And so how am I


* To know

* You only tell me

* Perhaps, perhaps

* Perhaps



* A million times
I ask you and then

* I asked you over again

* You only answer



* So if you
really love me, say yes

* But if you don't,
dear, confess

* And please don't tell me

In Spanglish!

* Perhaps, quizas, perhaps


MARTIN: I just don't get it.

My three get
the best of everything.

The only thanks I
get is a daughter

who spends her last dime
on a cookie-cutter condo.

For what?

GOMEZ: So it's not the moving part that bothers you?

I want them to move out.
I want them to get their own lives.

GOMEZ: You just wish that they would ask for your advice?

So, what's wrong with that?

GOMEZ: Nothing, nothing.

I mean, since you were the one
who pushed her to get her MBA,

I think you should trust that
she knows what she is doing.

I didn't push her.
Besides, I thought it was for her own good.

Anyway, I think the one that's going to give you a lot of trouble

is that old maid Leticia.

She's gonna stick it to you
for the rest of your life.

- Now she's got the perfect boyfriend.
- Who?

Jesus Christ.




Speak for yourself.



[MUMBLING] Where's my shirt?

"Thanks for
ironing the shirt, Dad."



I practically had to beg Yolanda to bring me over here.

- I heard so many good things about you.
- Please.

My daughter's been so alone
during her terrible divorce.

She tells me that
you're a widower.

Martin, isn't it?

Yes. It's a pleasure.

I'm Hortensia.


This is my oldest.


Of course.

The schoolteacher, right?

pour you a cup of coffee.

You're still not married?

I mean, yes, I'm not married.

And a nice girl like you.

You might want to try a little
Preparation H around the eyes.

It gets rid of those
nasty little lines.

Anyway, once you're past the sex,
marriage is not all that interesting.

Especially if you're crazy enough to marry a real loser like Yolanda did.


You wouldn't listen to me,
and now look where you are.

I left something in the car.
I'll be right back.

We all learn
from our mistakes.

Yes, of course.
It's just that,

as a parent,
it's so painful to watch your child suffer needlessly.

You and I know a few things
about raising daughters.

I'm still learning. You see...

This is my...

Your youngest! Maribel.


And what are you
rebelling against, dear?

People who can talk and talk
and talk and say nothing.

Careful, honey,
boys don't like smart-asses.

Yeah, they just like asses.


It's hard to tell,
but I did teach her manners.

Just don't wait too
long like your big sister.

already over the hill.



Life is bitter enough.


- And you must be Carmencita.
- And you must be Yolanda's mother.

Of course there's
no problem here.

Just remember, as pretty as you are,
a man is incapable of telling the truth.


I'm late for a meeting. I'm sorry,
but it was very nice meeting you.

Me, too.

Just wait.

And they say that boys are harder to raise.


What's this?

Oh, my!

It's not mine.
A man's work is never done.

Yolanda tells me you make a coconut flan that brings a woman to tears.

...Anything until
I get there, okay?

Hi. Thank you for
meeting me, Ms. Naranjo.

My pleasure.
I've been looking...

Don't worry.
I'll take care of it as soon as I arrive, okay? Bye.

Sorry, but I'm flying
earlier than I expected.

No problem.


So, according to my analysis,

Petersen's air,
rail and trucking links are all very strong,

but those assets are far outweighed by the company's financial liabilities,

and a cargo fleet that needs a lot more
work than their projections allow for.

Are you telling me
the company is a dog?

Bottom line? Yes.

Well, I could have
read that in the Journal.

Don't worry.
You'll be paid for it.

Why bother hiring me if you're planning to purchase Petersen anyway?

Excuse me?

I think you've already decided
to purchase the company.

How did you
arrive at that theory?

Last month's Wine and Gourmet Magazine had a picture of you dining

in San Francisco with Harlan Richter,
the patent attorney.


Petersen's ships and
trucks are all fitted

with their patented
satellite tracking devices.

I think you're interested in acquiring the company just to get the patent.

You mean
a classic bait and switch.


It could be a huge market.
They have the potential

to track all kinds
of consumer products,

including luggage, computers,
Palm Pilots, cell phones, you name it.

Good effort.
But Harlan Richter happens to be a friend of mine

and I'm really just
interested in the ships.


Let's go.


The second type of chemical reaction is a composition reaction.

We all hate the smell
of ammonia, don't we?


So nitrogen and
hydrogen yield ammonia.

Who else can give me an example of a composition reaction?

What? No hands?




Who wants to return the ball?

ALL: I do.

Arms down. I'll do it.

I'm trying to teach up here.

I'm sorry. Look what
we did to your window.

Did anybody get hurt up there?

No, just humiliated.

You ought to see how my catcher feels.

I didn't know he
could throw that far.

So, uh...


You gonna keep that
ball as a souvenir?

I mean, you can. We got more.


BOY: Love is a chemical reaction,
Miss Naranjo.


Please tell me you
know what H2O is.


Waiting for Eden?

Waiting for you.

Come on.


Where do you want to go?


Brazil. Okay.

- What's this?
- It's a figa. A good luck charm.

Has it brought you any luck?

I'm with you, aren't I?

Red lights are such a waste of time,
don't you think?

You just sit and
wait with nothing to do.


Hi. We've never met up close.

I'm Orlando Castillo,
the new baseball coach.


You teach science, right?




Nice biceps.


You work out?


Oh, too bad.

'Cause you could improve your triceps if you would work out.



JEFF: Surprise, surprise.

CARMEN: I felt like cooking.


JEFF: You cooked
enough for an army.

CARMEN: Try this.


That's delicious.

Is that one of your
dad's specialties?

It's my version.

It's tamarind-glazed lamb on cumin cabbage with a tangerine salsa.

The lamb is French-South American,
the cabbage is pure Mexican

and the salsa is Caribbean.

What will they call this?

CARMEN: I don't know.

Dad calls my dishes mutts.


Nuevo latino.

I like that.

I bet if your dad would just try it,
he would definitely be sold.

When I was little,
he used to bake me bracelets out of cookie dough.

Then he'd make rings and paint them
with colored sugar to make them sparkle.

Did you see that?
That's not stable.

I'm gonna go check this out.

It might be the leg.

It's the leg.

Yeah. Come here.






Mind if I join you?

Of course.

What a beautiful day.

Yes, it is.

I need to stretch. Okay?

All right.
All right.


And one,

and two...

All right.

Yep, and three.
...and three.

- I feel so much better. Come on.
- Yeah!


Uh-oh, red light.


You need to review page 172.

"Leticia, had we but
world enough, and time,

"this coyness,
lady, were no crime.

"We would sit down and think
which way to walk,

"and pass our
long love's day."

Long love's day.


CARMEN: Hello?

WOMAN: Carmen, Mr. Urgell flew back from San Francisco today.
He wants to meet now.

Did you change my appointment?

He asked
directions to the market.

You gave him the address?

He's coming there
to meet you.

What do you mean,
he's coming here?

That's what I said.


Thanks for
the advance notice, Sharon.


Mr. Urgell.

Please, call me Antonio.

May I help you?



So this is where you
get your great ideas.

You were wrong assuming what I was thinking the other day.

But your
instincts could be right,

and your timing is perfect.

So perfect, in fact...

That you're thinking
of buying Petersen?

Oh, just to get the patent.



MARTIN: Pass the rice, please.

Am I hallucinating,
or are we having a pleasant dinner?

Thank you.

I have some news.

Moving out?
Oh, well.

Did you close Escrow?
Not yet.

Yes. That's not what I was...

When are you moving?

Maribel, please.

Why can't I say anything?

I've been offered
a job in a new company.

Oh, congratulations.

In Barcelona.




That's far.

Not far enough for me.

MARTIN: I guess it doesn't matter how far it is.
The distance isn't important.

What matters is...

Is it a good opportunity?

It's the kind of opportunity you've always wanted for me, Dad.

I would be running
a high-tech start-up company

and the money is more
than I ever dreamed.

What about the condo?

I'll rent it out.
It can pay for itself.



Excuse me.

HORTENSIA: Look what I brought.
MARTIN: Music.


For some reason,
I've never been able to find the right man.

That's hard to believe.

My first husband,
Oscar, he was a womanizer.

He just couldn't keep
his cosita in his pants.

Then there was Gustavo.

He was a real artist.

Was he?

He liked
the opera and the ballet.

He also liked to
dress in tutus.


Then there was my
third husband, Pedro.

In the middle of making love,
he had a heart attack and died.

I'm so sorry.

Just like that.


And your wife?

She passed away 15 years ago.


And you never remarried.

No, not with working,

and raising
three girls, it's...

I like a macho con priorities.

The Spanglish will definitely
get on his nerves.

- It would be nice if he found someone.
- Yeah. Someone else.

Oh, Martin!

MARTIN: Are you all right?



Oh, Martin.


HORTENSIA: I think I've had
too much to drink.

"Her face, her tongue,

"her wit, so fair, so sharp."


Yours made it into my drawers.

Dad is getting worse and worse.
He should just let us sort our own laundry.

I put your stuff in your room.

They're called thongs, Leti.
Come on. You can say it. Thongs.

They're not the work
of the devil, you know.

They look
extremely uncomfortable.

On the contrary,
they kind of massage you all day,

inspiring all
kinds of thoughts.

The only thing I need flossed
are my teeth, thank you.



Too late. I already saw them.

So, who's the bard, huh?

Is it the drama teacher?

Social studies?

It's that security guard with the broken nose and cauliflower ears.

- He's always had a thing for you.
- Very funny.


Leti, what do you have...

You put Preparation
H around your eyes?

Get out! Get out!



Miss April?


Good morning. How are you?


Is that your breakfast?

Mom didn't have time
to make me anything.

They serve pizza
dogs in the cafeteria.


Let me tell you.
How would you like it if I brought you lunch once in a while?

A couple of main courses

and some porcupine cookies.

All right.

But my mom makes
me lunch sometimes.

Well, then we'll trade.

You give me yours. That way,
your mom won't be embarrassed.


Your bus.

Go on.

Good-bye. Thank you.

Good-bye now. Be careful.


So, French, Portuguese
and German and English?

What do you call that?
You're a...

What is that when somebody
speaks several languages?

A polyglot.

- How about two languages?
- That's easy. Bilingual, right?

One language?

I don't know. I don't
think I know that one.


I'm just kidding.
I'm American and I speak two.

Both at the same time,
on top of it. It drives my dad crazy.

He's a purist.

I love this!


Contemporary Folk Songs.

- Okay, Mr. Bossa Nova, what is that?
- I don't know.

It came like this...


"I never saw them before.
They came with the apartment."



I love your place.


Thank you.

What made you decide
to come to the States?

I didn't want to go
straight to college.

I mean, there's a whole world out there,
and I had to see it, you know?

How long are you
planning on staying?

I don't know.

I think if you tell life what it has to be,
you limit it.

But if you let it show
you what it wants to be

it will open doors
you never knew existed.


And your parents
are cool with that?


Wow. Brazil must be
the opposite of Mexico.



"Gather ye
rosebud while ye may

"Old Time is still a-flying

"And this same
flower that smiles today

"Tomorrow will be dying?"

- Do you live near a rain forest?
- No.

Where I'm from is too far below the equator to be tropical.

In fact,
I hate July because it's our coldest month.

- July?
- Yeah, the seasons are opposite there.

Wow. Seasons are opposite,
parents are opposite.

What else is
opposite below the equator?


- I'd like to go to this opposite world.
- Yeah?



You have 10 minutes
to solve the problem

before we move on to lab.

ORLANDO: All right, fellas,
gather around and sit. Pay attention.

Now, young men,
what is our problem?

Here's what happened in the last game.
You were using the bat

like it's a walking cane,
like you're rap... You're not rappers!

You're not supposed to be moving your legs up and down.
This is baseball!

It's more than a game.
It's about life.

It's about getting to
first base. It's an art form.

Do you know what I'm telling you?
I'm telling you that...

What I was trying to tell you

is you're doing a good job.


ALL: No.


Just like I promised you.


Green corn tamales. Huh?

Isn't that pretty?
Looks like a garden.

You're really
gonna like this one.

Tomatoes stuffed
with guacamole.

Little tomatitos,
stuffed with guacamole.

- Very special.
- Where are the porcupine cookies?

I knew you were
gonna ask that. Here.

There they are. But this is at the end.
You can't eat that first, all right?

Can I have a bite?

I'll trade you my Pokemon card
for the cookies.

You should open a restaurant.

I'll think about that.
That's a good idea.


Here. Here, taste this.

It's too salty? Hmm?

Too spicy? What?

Come on.
Don't make those faces.

Is it too salty?
Too spicy? What is...

MAN: What happened?

I just heard.

Imagine that, huh?

I almost got
killed by my own fart.


Look at her.

Seems like yesterday
she was a little girl

following me all
over the kitchen.

Yeah, until he kicked me out.

I wanted you to do something
significant with your life.

You didn't think a woman
would make a good chef.

I didn't send my daughter to graduate school so she could make tortillas.

You only make tortillas?

You wanna spend your life
in a kitchen like me?

I'm supposed to be the center of attention here, okay?


You know what I went through to give her opportunities I never had.

Here we go
with the immigrant story.

This is not
an immigrant story.

This is not
what I'm talking about.

Martin, please go
outside and...

- You know...
- Please go and get me some ice.

Please, I need some ice.

All right.
So you two can just talk behind my back, right?

Of course. What else?

Look, it's...



He just wants to spare you our kind of life, baby,
that's all.

What life, huh?
Doing what I love?

Listen, let me tell
you something. Look.

I remember when we
started our restaurant,

some of
the customers would complain

that the sauces were too hot

or that they wanted them on the side,
and your father wouldn't budge.

He was, like, uncompromising

when people wanted
him to change anything.

I know. You're not
telling me anything new.

What I'm trying to tell you is that things got very difficult.

Okay? Very, very difficult.

The day your mother died,

so sudden like that,

he blamed himself, he blamed the kitchen,
he blamed the restaurant.

I know, but I'm not like him.

I'm not afraid of change.
You know that.

Yeah. And look at you.

Your father's more proud of you than anything in the whole world.

He's just the type that doesn't express his feelings,
that's all. Okay?

He's not like tio Gomez.

Tio Gomez is a guy who cries
when he watches telenovelas.

I know.

Look at me. I'm crying now.

I know you're crying now.

LETICIA: Dear Jesus,
thank you for the gifts.


Dear, dear Lord, open our eyes

and be our guide
as we thank you

dear Lord, Lord Jesus Christ.


- Maribel tells us you're from Brazil?
- Yes.

Thank you.
Take this.

MARTIN: Well, the only
white Brazilians I know

are Nazi war criminals.


There probably were a few,
but most German immigrants

went to Brazil
between the wars,

mainly because of
the depression in Europe.

Andy's half-German,


Like the Argentineans.

They always like to brag
about their European heritage.


This is amazing!

I can't even describe it.
It's really incredible.

So, you like pulpo
a la Veracruzana?

ANDY: Like it?

I love it.
Really. It's incredible.

Maribel told me
you were a chef,

but I'd say you are
more like an artist.


That's very generous of you.

You're so lucky. Dinner
like this all the time.



No. But, tell me...
Tell me some more about your country.

Is it true that there are
more Japanese women...

I have an announcement.

...than anywhere else,
outside of Japan?

It's overcooked.

It's not overcooked.

MARTIN: Do you know
Mexican cuisine?

ANDY: Mmm.
Not as much as I'd like.

But I do know that it's one of the major cuisines of the world.

Well, you should
come back next week...

I have an announcement.

...because I'm gonna make
something very, very special.

[LOUDLY] I decided
to postpone college.

Yeah... What? What was that?

I decided not to go
straight to college.

I want to take off
a year or two first.


Well, may I ask why?

I want to find myself.

Find yourself. Well, you won't
have to look far. [CHUCKLING]

You know what I mean, Dad.

No, I don't.

You've applied, you've been accepted,
you're going to college.

End of discussion.

No, I'm not.

Beginning of drama.

listen to me, young lady...

Why can't I decide
what to do with my life?

Because as long as you're living under my roof,
you will do as I say.

You understand?

Fine. Fine. That's just fine!

'Cause I'm
moving in with Andy.



What? You sit at my table,
you make a fool of me,

while you're scheming
to take my daughter away?

- I wasn't scheming...
- I just want to find out who I am.

Is that a crime?

You're Maribel Naranjo!

That's who you are!

I don't want you to tell me!

I want to find out for myself,

or else I'm gonna be who you want me to be,
just like Carmen.

Whoa, whoa! What?

MARTIN: I never wanted you
to be anything, anybody.

MARIBEL: Why are you
so afraid to confront him?

You see what you're
doing to your sister?

She does it to herself, Dad!

I am not afraid, Maribel.

This is the first time I
ever hear of anything...

ANDY: Whoa!

Stop it!

Way to go, Leti.

You okay?



No wonder April's lunch box
is coming back empty.


What happens to
the lunches that I make her?

Well, last Thursday's meat loaf wasn't bad.
It was...

Oh, my God.

I can't believe
you're eating my food.

No, don't worry.
I don't have much in the way of taste anymore.

I hope not. [CHUCKLING]

it's the feeling that counts.

April's not going
to school today?

She's a little
under the weather.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Somebody else may
as well enjoy it.

Filete relleno de cabrilla.

Oh! Thank you.

Please don't tell her I know.

She must enjoy her secret encounters with you.


Leti, did you know Dad
went to see a cardiologist?

In here.

What are you doing?

I don't know.

I'm still in shock.

Our little sister.

I knew she was
going off to college

but that's not
the same as moving out.

Have you seen Dad?

He's catering some affair.

How'd he look?

Between Maribel and Gomez,
he's not looking all that well.

You want some tea?

I know what
you're wondering about.

You think I'm overreacting?


Yeah. I'm concerned
about how he is physically.

Is that all you ever think about,
the physical part?

- No, I was just...
- I'm sure he's fine physically.

He's the new baseball coach.

Played professionally in the minors.
Never been married.

His name is Orlando.

I had his files checked
by a secretary in the office.

Oh! I love that you did that.

Do you?

Because I feel like such a...

A snoop?

Guess it runs in the family.


How do you get
your hair to do that?

Oh, we are gonna bring
Orlando to his knees.

- No. You're not gonna make me wear a...
- Mmm-hmm.






Hey, are you okay?
'Cause you're walking a little funny.

You know, I could teach you some exercises to stretch out,
if you want.

To give you better balance,
you know? They're simple.

- You can do 'em on a chair or on the table.

So, if you're interested,
you let me know. Okay?

On the table.

"I pray thee,
gentle mortal, sing again.

"And thy fair
virtue's force perforce

"doth move me on the first view to say,
to swear,

"I love thee."


Okay, Billy, just like
we told you in practice.

Keep your eye on the ball
and make contact. Oh, yes!

That's contact!
That's what I been talking about!

That's Billy boy!
That's my boy!

Hey, lady,
we're playing a game here!



The poems.

I love you, too.


What poems?

What were you thinking,
writing notes like that, huh?

You ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.

I'm sorry if those
jerks hurt your feelings.

I want you to know that if...

If I could think
of things like that,

if I were a kind of guy who could write things like that, I...

I would have written
those poems myself.


Please, please, don't cry.

My make-up's running.

That's okay.
I like you better without it.

But I have these little wrinkles around my eyes.


I don't see any wrinkles.



Well, what do you think?
Better, right?

Can you? Thank you.

You won't believe how gross
the laundry room was.

I ran the washer with hot water and bleach

for a whole cycle
just to disinfect it.

What papers?
Did you see my papers?

The ones that
were on the bed.

Yes. They're in
the organizer I bought.

[SIGHING] I had them
spread out for a reason.

You can't afford to do that
in a studio apartment.

There's not enough space.


[SOFTLY] There used to be.

What, sweetie?



HORTENSIA: Hope you like
your sangria fruity.

MARTIN: Oh, yes, I do.

But, tell me,
what are we celebrating?

Yolanda's getting
custody of April.

Her divorce came through today.
Isn't that great?

Thank God I could
be here with her.

That's very good news.

Yes. I'm just
a little worried still.

She's a single mother now,

and she has absolutely
no professional skills.

She keeps telling me that she's got everything under control,

but I don't see
her doing anything.

Anyway, the worst is over.

It's all very good, then.

Here we are. All right.

what are your plans, now that

you've accomplished everything
you came here to do?


I'm not at all
certain that I have

accomplished what I
came here to do, Martin.


Dear Lord Jesus,

please help me.

please, give me the strength

to make him understand just...

Please, just help me,
dear Lord Jesus Christ almighty up in heaven.

My dear Jesus,
just give me strength...

why are you praying so hard?



I have an announcement.



Well, I, um...

I, um...

We just couldn't wait.

I mean, he wanted to,
and I wanted to, too, and...

And we...

We really wanted to do
it properly, Dad, but...

It just wouldn't...
It was so...

Hold on.
Okay? Just one minute.

Where are you?


Come on.

Do I look okay?

Yeah. You look great. Come on.


Carmen, um...

I want you to meet
Orlando Castillo.


My husband.

Your what?

Your husband?

Well, sir...
You see, Orlando and I...

I realize that
this is too late

but I would like to
take this opportunity

to ask for your
daughter's hand in marriage.

What's going on here?

Well, Orlando and I met and...


Well, no, what it is, is that,

a couple of nights ago, sir,
we got ourselves into this situation...

- No, I don't...
- ...that I hope you understand.

I don't think you
should tell him that part.

Please, please.

I'm just trying to get to the place where we went to Las Vegas.

Las Vegas?

Yeah, we had to get
married in a hurry.

I thought you went
on a retreat, Leti.

Well, under those circumstances,
we really had no choice.

What circumstances?

That's what I've been trying
to explain to you, sir,

that we were, a couple of nights ago,
we were together and...

I don't think he needs to...

All right, all right.

Here, have a seat.


Orlando, are you a Christian?

He will be.
No, I...

Dad, may I?

I love toppings.
I've always liked toppings.

Sometimes I go to restaurants
and I just ask for toppings.

You know, I say the more toppings,
the merrier.

That's what I say.

You like tortilla soup?

Yes, of course.

My mother used to make
it for us all the time.

She never made it like this.

This is the best
tortilla soup I've ever had.

Orlando was in
the Dodger farm league.

Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm.


Yes, I...

I used to catch for
Fernando Valenzuela

when he was in
the Sonora League in Mexico.

I still know some
people at Dodger Stadium.

I could probably
get us some box seats.

And we can sit
right over the dugout.

They're the best
seats in Dodger Stadium,

and we can sit
there and have hot dogs

and sodas.

Do you love her?

Excuse me?

Do you love her?

Oh, yes, sir, I do.

I love Leticia very,
very much.

Hot dogs and sodas.


I'll tell you what.
You take care of the tickets,

I'll take care of the food.

All right. Provecho.


We'll celebrate some other time, seriously,
all right?

Try some stuffed chayote.

Thanks for everything, sis.

I'm so happy for you, Leti.




You're leaning.

Towards the bowl.

Honey, spoon
the soup away from yourself,

and then bring it
up to your mouth.

Don't lean towards the bowl.


[LAUGHS] I can't
deal with this.

With what? Table manners?

No, baby,
with you telling me what to do every second of the day.

With you rearranging
my entire apartment.

Making the bed every morning.

You're still mad because I misplaced your papers?

It's not just my papers.

I don't know where
anything is anymore.

Where's my hammock? Huh?

Your hammock?

Before I came here,
this place was totally upside-down.

Yeah, okay, but I thought
you liked the opposite world.

How can you say that?
After all I've done around here...

Who asked you to?

I never even asked
you to move in here.

You're right.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

No, baby, come on.

No, you're right.

It's fine. No, don't worry.

No, no, baby.

- I'll put everything back where it was.
- Baby, I'm sorry.

I mean,
I believe this belongs here.


- Let me see if I remember correctly.
- I deserved that.

I believe that was over there.
That was there.

I live here, too.

Never made the bed.

What are these? Papers?

Hey, not the CDs.

Come on.

This was probably there.

I believe that was there,
if I remember correctly.

Maybe that was over there.
I don't know. Let me see.

This stuff.

ANDY: Can we talk
without you getting violent?


How did you know
what you wanted to do?

That you wanted to go off
and see the world, anyway?

Were you born knowing?

Is everybody born knowing

exactly what they want to do with their life,
except for me?

ANDY: Stop it.

Are you even listening to me?

Why doesn't
anybody listen to me?

Are you... Am I invisible?

Look who's back.


No matter how much Martin tries,
he can't kill me with his food, eh?

Come on. How are you? Hiya.

All right.


No work for you.
Sit down and take it easy.

Sit down. Get him something
to drink or something.

Now, you stay there.
Behave yourself.

All right, hombre.

Let's go.
We have a very special guest of honor today.

We must pay special attention.
Our captain is back.

Because of him,
we will cook like we've never cooked before.




He's gone.


No, I'll just have water.

You have to eat something.
It'll make you feel better.

Oh, no. My taste has died.

What's gonna happen to them
now that he's gone?

Some of these people have been
with me and Gomez for years.

Dad, you know,
ever since Mom died,

you have been looking out for everybody except for yourself.

I mean, you need some time off.
Just slow down.

Slow down?
Why should I slow down?

This should be
a wake-up call for you.


Isn't there something,
que me quieres decir?

English or Spanish.

What difference does it make
what language I'm speaking?

Take the job in Barcelona,



Come here,
you little thing, you.

Come over here.

That's it. Right up here.

Come on, April. Mr.
Naranjo doesn't want to be bothered right now.

No, it's all right.
She's just what I need right now.

Just what I need.


"Take the job in Barcelona."

Is that all you
can manage to say?

How about,
"How do you feel about this, Carmen?

"Is this what you
really want to do?"

All right,
just calm down, Carmen.

You don't care.

Care about what?

How I feel.

What are you talking about?

How I feel, Dad.

Gomez knew.

He tried to tell you
but you wouldn't listen.

What's the use?


Please be home.


I'm sorry for barging in.

What's wrong?
Just hold me.

I have so much I want
to talk to you about.

Carmen, listen...


I didn't know we had company.




Um... I guess I
should have called first.

Just give me a minute, okay?
Please? Carmen.


Stop, stop. Stop, stop, stop.

Okay? I'm sure I mentioned
Rachel to you before.

Maybe a couple of times,
or maybe not. I don't remember.

But it wasn't that serious.

Until recently.


Are you gonna be okay?

Yeah. Of course I'm
gonna be all right.

It's fine.

I really came by to tell you that I just accepted a new job in Barcelona.

I'm really
looking forward to it.


Thank you.
Here you go.


I'll have the same.
So, what's up?

[LAUGHS] Nothing.

I was just thinking
about the trip because...

Well, I am going.

Yeah, I know.

I mean, it's perfect.

I speak the language,

and who wouldn't want to live in a beautiful city on the Mediterranean?

It's an incredible
business opportunity

that no one in their right mind would want to miss.

So, I have to pack.

But I have no
idea what to take.

So, what's
the weather like in Barcelona?

But we are not leaving
for at least another week.

I know.
But do I need a converter?

A converter?

What's the voltage like?
120? 240?

Are you okay?

Yeah. Of course I'm all right.

Do you know why we clink glasses before drinking?

I'm not sure.
I never thought about it.

It's so that all
the five senses are involved.

We touch the glass,
we smell the drink,

we see its color, we taste it.

Hearing is the only sense that doesn't
participate unless we create a sound.


Typical Mediterranean weather.

You'll need a coat
in the winter, though.



One or two of them, you know.



What are you doing here?

Can I come in?




Did you find your papers?

Yeah. I forgot I'd
hidden them myself.

I didn't want
you to find them.


I applied to
the same college as you.


In case you changed
your mind about going,

I wanted to be
able to go with you.

Did you get accepted?




Are you kidding me?


- Why didn't you tell me?
- What if I didn't get accepted?

Then you would be an idiot.

But I am an idiot.



I almost got him!

I don't think I
wanna eat that.




Let's go, April.

[SINGSONG] This is going to be
a memorable evening.

How do I look?

I wonder why
Martin didn't remarry.

He's not physically impaired
in any way, is he?

[STUTTERING] I don't know.

Anyway, did you sign up for that computer class, Yolanda?

You have to think
about your future.

You look great, Grandma.

ORLANDO: Mmm, chicken, pork
and lamb. Wow.

- What are we celebrating, anyway?
- Fate.

celebrating fate tonight.

That's why I
prepared this special meal.

To celebrate the fate that has brought us to this table.

I feel part of
the family already.

Well, you are, you are.

To family.

ALL: To family.

To family, my dear.

Dad, should you be drinking?


I can't think of
a better time to celebrate.

Why don't we eat first?

That's a good idea.
APRIL: Yeah.

- Oh, Martin, the food looks delicious.
- Thank you, Hortensia.

- Someday you'll have to let me cook for you.
- Hmm?

I'm the one who taught Yolanda
her way around the kitchen.

I'd like to do a special toast

to my father-in-law.

To you, sir. Yes.

That's nice.



Now, I have an announcement.


Leading our separate lives,
but under the same roof,

worrying and
caring for one another.

It's that caring,
it's what makes us a familia, huh?

English or Spanish, Dad.


And families shouldn't keep secrets from each other.


But I've kept one.

Oh, dear.

Because I...

I didn't want to burden you
with my personal affairs.

But now I can't keep
it any longer, so...

We'll talk some more despues.


Please, Martin.
I can't eat a thing.

Just say what you
have to say, mi amor.

Every Sunday,
I have three angels sit at my table,

in this casa full
of old memories.

And, now my angelitas are gonna go off into the world

and create
memories of their own.

And I can either sit here by myself or start a new life.

I've sold the house.

You sold the house?

You did what, Dad?

If I'm to start a new life...

I had to.
But I bought a new one.

He bought a new house. Well!

There'll be plenty of
room for visitors, so...

Here's to the new house, then.

MARTIN: New house.

ALL: To the new house.

HORTENSIA: Is that it, dear?
ORLANDO: I hope that's it, 'cause I'm hungry.

- Haven't you forgotten something?
- Hortensia.

I've gotten to know you
over the last few months.

LETICIA: Oh, my God, Carmen.

I finally have the confidence
to say what I feel.

Oh, si.

Excuse me.

Where's he going?

I had a complete physical.
That's the medical report.

MARIBEL: Leti, grab that.

HORTENSIA: Medical report?

Take a look at it.

Why don't you
look at it, Carmen?

- It says he's in excellent health.
- Of course he is.

Why wouldn't he be?


I'm glad to see

that you're still in
good working order.

And I promise you
that as long as I live,

I'll take good care of
your daughter and April.

I would expect nothing less from a gentleman like you, Martin.

And you will always
be welcome in our house.

Yes, of...

What are you
talking about, mi amor?

will you do me the honor

of giving me

your daughter's
hand in marriage?


Dad! Stop drinking.

just take a few deep breaths.

You got a little confused.
Start again.

Si, si, si. Yes, yes.
I was confused but not anymore.

No. I forgot to ask
the woman in question.


Yolanda, will you marry me?





- Dad, don't you mean Hortensia?
- Of course he does.

The hell I do. I mean Yolanda.

what is he talking about?

Does this mean
you're gonna be my dad?


That's up to your mom.

Well, I forbid you
to do this, Yolanda!

I'm a grown woman, Mother.

I forbid it, I said.


Your father and I love
each other very much.

Yes, Martin, I will marry you.


ORLANDO: All right!

MARIBEL: To Dad and Yoli!

I can't believe you guys
never noticed them before.

You knew?


Somebody, pick that woman up.

Give her some air.

YOLANDA: Get her some air.

MARIBEL: Open the door.

- YOLANDA: It's okay. Mom, you're all right.
- Unzip her dress.

- Don't you touch me, you pervert!
- "Pervert?"

You should be ashamed
of yourself. All of you!

Let her catch her breath.

Are you all right?

What kind of
a family is this?

- Get away!
- ORLANDO: Is anybody gonna eat?



ANDY: Some water?


I should take her home.

She gonna be all right?

She'll be fine.

Are you gonna be all right?

I'll be fine.


* You won't admit you love me

* And so

* How am I ever

* To know

* You always tell me

* Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps

I should go.

MAN: Here, let me help you.


- Dad...
- It's a set of some of my knives.

Some of them,
for your new kitchen.

- Thank you.
- You better put 'em in your bag

because you'll
never get past security.

If you need anything,

anything at all,
you call, hmm?

If you can't get
decent chipotles in Europe,

I'll send some air express.



All right, go, go, Carmen.
You're gonna miss your plane, go. Bye.



MARIBEL: Am I hallucinating,
or are we having a pleasant dinner?

CARMEN: "How do you feel
about this, Carmen?

"Is this what you
really want to do?"

LETICIA: He wanted to,
and I wanted to, too,

and we really wanted
to do it properly, Dad, but...



Barcelona can wait.

All right?

Oh-ho! Chicken pibil.


But I wanted you
to taste my version.

MARTIN: All right.


MARTIN: Here we go.

It's, um...

It's exquisito!


You're good.
You're very good, Carmen. Mmm!

Thank you.

Yeah, but, the serranos
is too sharp, too sharp.

Next time,
not so much zest, hmm?

I think that it's better.
It's a little more interesting.

What? What's wrong?

I can taste.

I can... [SNIFFING]

I can smell and I can taste.

Wait, wait, wait.
One more thing.

There you go, Gavin.
Thank you.

- Hey, Rock, how's it coming there?
- MAN: My table's waiting.

Table 22, you guys.
Extra special treatment, please.

Very important people.

Looking good. All right.
All right, wait, wait. Okay.

There we go.
All right, you guys.

Careful on the lobster, okay?
Only two more minutes, please.

Hi. How are you doing?
It's good to see you.

Good. Everything okay?


Tonight's lobster.

Oh, that looks so good.


What, Dad?
The lobster.

Are you doing it in a...

You need to sit down, have a bite,
and then you can criticize it.

All right, all right.

Can you believe him?

Attention, everybody.
I have an announcement.

It's a girl.

I'm so happy for you!

Wow! Nothing but girls!

You're the Dos Equis man.

Give me a high five.