Tormenting the Hen (2017) - full transcript

(JAZZY PIANO MUSIC)

It's vacation! It's vacation!

I'm working. You're on vacation.

You better watch out.

MONICA: Oh my God. Look at that woman.

CLAIRE: That's so scary.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(EXPLOSION)

(GUNFIRE)

(TRAIN BELL RINGING)

I'm sure she'll introduce herself.



We'll figure it out that way.

How are you? Oh, so excited to have you.

Thank you so much. I'm so...

You weren't waiting long, were you?

So uh, what time will
we get started tomorrow?

Oh, yes. Tomorrow, nine to five.

And the actors got here yesterday.

They totally fucked up this car.

It smelled like McDonald's
for like 12 hours,

so I aired it out.

I used some... It's kind of nice.

It's like a pine scented thing.

My friend actually makes it in her house,

but you would never know that,



because it has a really nice label.

But it's like an air freshener.

Anyway, point is,

I don't think it smells
like chicken anymore.

But it did, and I was mad.

I appreciate that.

Where do you get your inspiration?

Oh. New York City is ripe.

I mean, anywhere you
go there's characters.

It's awesome.

That's one of the many great things

about living in the city.

I don't know how you do it though,

because it's hard to make art there.

I think make my art better out here.

But then I also feel
like I found my calling,

which is not necessarily
to make my own art,

but to facilitate other
people's art, hence...

I mean, that's why coming
here to places like this

kind of helps balance it out.

Yeah, it's really interesting,
this type of vegetation.

We don't really have that in Brazil.

I went there for like one
month when I was in school.

I was studying.

Ah, the people are just so beautiful.

And I always wanted to
go back, always, always,

more than any other place
in the entire world.

Ah, that's so nice.

The fucking men are
gorgeous! They're gorgeous.

It's another level.

I mean, and the women are gorgeous too,

which is unfortunate for people like me.

Like I don't have really any boobs.

And so you kind of have to like...

That's just between us three.

But the men there don't fucking care.

I mean, I have an ass,
so that gets your far.

You know, it's like a
Latin American thing.

I mean I think it's just like
an anyone who's not white.

I don't know why white men,

they just don't want you to have any ass.

What do you do, by the way, Monica?

I came to the United States

to go to school for
environmental engineering.

Wow.

Earth. That's like Earth stuff, right?

Well I mainly deal with trees.

And the impact of roads,

and when we are going to build bridges,

or things like that.

So I just focus on trees.

There's plenty of trees here.

So how did you guys meet then?

I went to this topless bar one night.

She was working, and I was like,

"Ooh, I want that one."

She had boobs.

There are a lot of people up here

who are like you guys.

What do you mean, like us?

Like...

Into alternative sexuality, I guess.

But I think it's honestly,
it's like the men...

I feel like once you get
north of the Mason-Dixon line,

it is very hard to find a good man around.

So, it's like, I understand.

I mean, that's what it needs to be.

Because we can't keep having babies.

What are we gonna do?

Like, if you don't have kids,

that is just so good for the environment.

MONICA: I still want to have a child.

Oh, are you going to adopt one?

No. I want to have my own.

So probably will find a donor.

Oh.

Who would you get?

We're thinking maybe her brother.

Oh, that's weird.

Well, I mean, that's on the table.

- We talked about that.
- Your brother?

Oh my gosh.

Well, it would be like
having her blood in me.

You know, part of her family
tree with my family tree.

It just makes sense.

I feel like having
sex with your brother...

No one is having sex with anyone.

It's gonna be artificially inseminated.

She looks like an '80s rock
star in that little outfit.

- That's mean.
- No, that's not mean!

It's not mean! I'm just saying,
she's a fashionable person.

She's giving you '80s, that's...

She must be tired. She
talked the whole way.

You know what? Cheers love.

This is a real, live apple tree.

MONICA: You can eat right out of this.

I don't think I've ever...

I don't think I've ever
seen an apple tree.

This is gorgeous.

- You are so funny.
- What?

Oh, you gotta see how long
it bugs you. Let me tell you.

You hate bugs.

Yeah, bugs. I like nature, just not...

Not the bugs. They're part of you.

Actually I have a really good bug story.

So my father...

Mio pai. Is that right?

Look at you. You can speak Portuguese.

I did it.

So mio pai.

When he would come back
home from the Amazon,

he would have these larva
basically inside of him.

Because over there they have
these flies that bite you,

and they lay eggs inside of you.

And then you have to wait
until the larva grows

so you can take the
larva out of your body.

So he would put a piece of
ham where the fly had bit him.

And he would see this thing
moving towards the thing.

- And then he would squeeze.
- Ugh!

And the larva would come out.

CLAIRE: That's nasty! Gross!

And I would be so embarrassed
because he would do that

when my friends were around.

And I was so embarrassed.

Why in front of your friends?

I don't know. Just the way he is.

I mean, did he know
that it embarrassed you?

Oh yeah. He didn't care about that.

I'm so proud of you.

Oh, baby. Thank you.

MONICA: I love you.

CLAIRE: I love you.

MONICA: Close your eyes.

- You need to relax.
- I'm trying.

You don't have to try anymore.

CLAIRE: Oh, really.

Ooh, this is new.

(KISSING)

(GENTLE MOANING)

(AMBIENT MUSIC)

MONICA: He's like,
"Left foot. Eh. Oh. Oh."

CLAIRE: Oh. That's my favorite.

MONICA: Aww. He's a cutie.

He's a stupid kid.

CLAIRE: He's not a stupid kid.

Yes he's a stupid kid. He's a kid.

Well he's not a stupid kid.

You don't know that he's stupid.

He's just uncoordinated, how about that?

It's a little bit nicer.

All kids are stupid, Claire.

Well kids are not stupid.

They might do stupid things,
but kids are not stupid.

Come on, Claire.

They have an undeveloped brain.

They can't care for themselves.

So that means they're stupid?

Yes.

Okay, so when I care for
you, that means you're stupid?

No, because I can
get up and do whatever.

Claire, stop being
politically correct. Come on.

CLAIRE: Because I'm saying
that kids are not stupid?!

They are. It's just a fact.

A fact.

Maybe it's an opinion,
but definitely not a fact.

You were stupid too.
I was stupid, it's okay.

Why stupid? Why that term?

MONICA: Why not?

Because that's offensive.

MONICA: You are making it offensive.

It doesn't have to be offensive.

No. That is offensive.

If someone says you're stupid,

would you not be offended by that?

MONICA: As an adult, yes.

But not as a child?

No, because I wouldn't understand.

Their brains are not developed.

They're stupid, and then once
they get to maybe five or six

they become a little bit
more into being a person.

You wouldn't understand as a kid

if someone told you that you were stupid.

Your brain is not developed.

CLAIRE: That doesn't
mean you're stupid!

Yeah.

CLAIRE: Honey, your logic is stupid.

- Oh really?
- Yeah.

Do you want some eggs?

Do you want the stupid here
to prepare some eggs for you?

I didn't call you stupid.

I said your logic was
stupid. Don't do that.

(CLICKING)

You guys just stand up for a second,

because you've been sitting down for...

Stretch it out.

Touch your toes. Just do
whatever you need to do.

Just shake it out so we can...

get some life in your bodies.

Advertising. And that's all it is.

What?

Once you get into the
minds of other people,

that's where the life is.

And that's where the money
is. And that's all there is.

I don't follow you.

Wait wait wait wait.
Go back to advertising.

I love how you're starting.

But let's try... Because he's
like your homie right now.

But I want him to be...

Speak to him like he's a kid,
like he's a five year old.

(SLOWLY) Advertising.
And that's all it is.

I'm still not following you.

You look at their hair.
You look at their shoes.

And you just hone in on that.

It's almost like he's being intimidated.

And maybe I'm being intimidated.

- You, personally?
- Yeah.

Me, and maybe I'm bringing
that in to the character.

Okay. And that's okay, that's fine.

If that's your honest
reaction right now, bring it.

There's no right or wrong.
We're still in exploration mode.

I have no sympathy for him.

MONICA: You mean you
can't sympathize with him.

No.

Is that what you're saying?

You cannot sympathize with him?

Yeah.

Okay.

That's definitely a judgment,

because there's nothing in the text

that says he's easily intimidated.

Is that what you wanted? The kind of...

CLAIRE: That was definitely better.

We're trying to get through to him.

Yeah, because he's a five year old

who doesn't know anything.

Okay, cool.

CLAIRE: Well he's not a five year old

who doesn't know anything.

Yeah yeah yeah, it was
a metaphor. I got you.

Can we maybe play with
the words a little bit?

Instead of being right on the page,

can we lift off the page...

Well, I'll tell you what we can do,

is we can do some improv exercises.

And that maybe can help you guys

get underneath the circumstance
and what's going on.

And can we use your
beautifully written words

as part of the exercise,
or do it in context?

CLAIRE: We'll marry the two.

We'll marry the feelings

of what we discover through the improve.

Sir, I need you to focus.

JOEL: I'm very focused.

I need you to focus on this script.

(LEAVES RUSTLING)

(COUGHS)

(APPLE CRUNCHING)

(SPITS)

(GRASS TEARING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(DOOR OPENING)

(ENGINE STARTING)

(AMBIENT MUSIC)

I'm Monica. I'm staying
over there with my fiance.

Just wanted to come say hi.

- Mutty.
- Mutty?

Two Ts. Mutty.

I like mud, and muddy waters.

Well it's nice to meet you, Mutty.

Is that Irish?

I don't know. American.

Where you from?

We're from New York.

Uh-uh. No, you're not from New York.

I'm from Brazil, but you
know, we live in New York.

- South America.
- Yeah.

Are you nice?

You're staying in there?

Used to be a chicken coop.

500 hens just pissing and
shitting and laying their eggs.

Oh really?

That store bought chicken,

it's like eating straight cancer.

Actually chicken hearts is
a very famous Brazilian dish.

I should make it for you.

Parents don't tell me anything.

They're probably in Pakistan, or Florida.

I didn't want to stop you.

I just wanted to know about

how long you're going to be mowing.

But it's so nice to meet you.

MUTTY: The fishing here is great.

- Yeah?
- Love the fishing here.

And you can tell by the
way they look at you

that they don't feel it.

The worms feel it though.

It's like you being here.

You're a little worm on a big hook.

I'll call you Little Worm.

Well it's nice to meet you.

(ENGINE STARTING)

(ENGINE RUNNING)

Two seconds.

- Done?
- Done.

MONICA: So how was your day?

It was what I expected.
They didn't quite get it.

I want truth, and truth
is not always pretty.

That's just the point
that I'm trying to make.

Like, not everybody is
introduced into your life

into a positive way.

Yes I understand that
it's easier, I get that.

But that's not always
how it goes down in life.

They didn't quite get it.

And I think one of them is a little...

This guy has been mowing all day.

Okay. Well, just ask him to stop.

Or let him mow.

It's been all day.

He is a little strange.

Is that his job, or something?

I don't know. His
name is Mutty, I guess.

I talked to him really fast.

He's like, Mutty.

Well, I mean, I guess he's
the keeper of the grounds.

Just let him mow.

- He spoke to you before?
- Yeah.

Like he was really close to the house,

like really close to the window.

I could've been talking on the phone.

This is crazy.

Okay.

I can't hear you. I can't...

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

You okay?

(SIGHS) I don't know why I'm
thinking about this, but...

When I was a kid

my uncle's daughter got kidnapped.

And it was really weird,

because I had to stay home

for the entire time until they found her.

Because we... I don't know.

I don't know if they were scared

that we would get kidnapped, or...

It was the first time that I
ever was afraid of something,

and that I understood what fear means.

And then just feeling
afraid inside of your house.

You know, like my parents were there,

my grandmother was there, and my brother.

But I didn't feel safe.

I feel like that changed me forever.

CLAIRE: Yeah? Like how?

When you're in a house
you're supposed to feel safe

and comfortable with your family.

But then my uncle

was able to get the police
to work in cooperation

and they found her in another city.

And she was fine. She said that.

It's really weird.

They were giving her steaks, and popcorn,

and letting her watch movies.

CLAIRE: Who were these people?

They wanted money.

She was missing for like a month.

CLAIRE: Oh my God.

And then my uncle gave a car to

all the police people that found her.

It's just weird.

That's kind of how I feel
here. I don't feel safe.

CLAIRE: Honey...

But there's no reason to not be safe.

CLAIRE: No, we're fine. We're fine.

You're a grown woman. You
know what to do if you feel...

I can't explain.

It feels different.

That's it. Go to bed.

(GONG MUSIC)

(WATER RUNNING)

(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

(TAPPING)

(WATER SPLASHING)

Looks like we had the same idea.

You scared me.

You should go get your
friend. What's her name?

Claire? She's too tired.

She worked all day.

I would bet she's never
worked a day in her life.

It's so hot out.

Indeed.

You and Claire should come
to the house for dinner.

I have a lot of wine.

I don't think so.

MUTTY: You can come tomorrow.

(GONG MUSIC)

(FRANTIC PERCUSSION)

(FRANTIC PERCUSSION)

(VACUUM RUNNING)

(CHICKEN CLUCKING)

CLAIRE: Get in there.

Closer. Closer.

Oh God. All right.

All right, all right, all right.

I've had these conversations.

Maybe not with a hug,

but I've had these
conversations in my life before.

So I like it.

How do I put it?

It's not just the tribalistic stuff.

And you're just getting
the tribalistic stuff.

Yeah, you're right, I've had
this conversation before,

with idiots, because they're
stupid, and wrong, and moronic.

But you know this guy.

We just said you've met guys like this.

Yeah.

JOEL: I mean, I'm not
in love with Marcus either.

I don't want to say my heroes
always have to be passive,

and for the better of everyone,

and your heroes get to fire rockets.

We have been genocided. Constantly.

That's all our history.
That's all we're told.

But I don't think it's about

all white people or all black people.

In this play it's you and me.

Is that right, Claire?

Listen, these two guys can
be judgmental with each other.

And in that truth they can give
each other space to change.

That's what I want.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

- It's Mutty.
- What does he want?

Cool. Come in.

Dig what I said.

Got us dinner. Rainbow trout.

CLAIRE: Dinner. Okay.

MUTTY: We can do chicken instead.

I should bring it back to the farm.

They have a tendency to blame
me when they go missing.

They blame me.

You said tonight.

I didn't say anything.

Yeah, I know. You did.

It's fine, baby.

MUTTY: I'll see you guys tonight.

You said.

I don't know what he's talking about.

I have not spoken to
this guy. This is weird.

CLAIRE: I think it's really sweet.

MONICA: When am I
gonna have time with you?

We'll have time with each other.

No, I don't have time with you.

Yes. Right now we have time, right now.

We have time, right now.

Need a good, sharp knife.

Stick it in the shitter.

Run it up the gut. Pull them out.

There you go.

You have a really nice tent over here.

MUTTY: That's my house.
That's where I stay.

- It's safe in there.
- What do you mean?

Hidey hole and tiny spaces
keeps away the ugly faces.

You know what I mean.

(CHUCKLES) I don't know what you mean.

Mutty, did you make that up?

- No.
- No?

You like that, right?
Fish heads down south.

It's good for me to have you here.

For my development I'm supposed
to be nice with people.

I can change the music. I have Chopin.

Chopin is good by me.

MUTTY: They have Chopin in Brazil?

I thought all they had down there

was jungle beat and sex music.

It's a very developed country.

MUTTY: Compared to other
third world countries.

It really is developed.

You should go there. I'm
sure people would love you.

MUTTY: I don't want to go there.

Too much corruption, and too
easy to get kidnapped there.

There's corruption and
kidnapping in every city.

Every country.

MUTTY: That's true.

(CHOPIN PLAYING)

So when are you gonna get hitched?

CLAIRE: Um...

MONICA: What's so funny?

Well, just that he brought it up, but...

Okay. Marriage.

MUTTY: Boundary issues?

MONICA: We don't have
any boundary issues.

Well I don't want to talk about...

Have you ever been married?

Once.

CLAIRE: Do you mind talking about that?

I met her at the end of Desert Storm.

I had five guys under me.

We were in charge of the scud launcher.

CLAIRE: Scud?

Stingers. Stinger launcher.

We would get orders.

How it works is a matter of dest...

The target destination
is measured in clicks.

Someone would count.

They'd count Mississippi, one Mississippi.

I counted in clicks.

It was at night.

And we had the order.

And then the confirmation came in.

Seven clicks was the target.

And when them things go
off, it's like nothing else.

It would suck the life,
the air right out of you,

watching them fire off.

Seven clicks, counted.

Five, six clicks.

The whole fuckin' sky lit
up like it was daytime.

MONICA: I don't get it.

CLAIRE: I think he's saying that...

You wouldn't get it.

CLAIRE: They got to six,

and they were supposed to get to seven

so they didn't hit the right target.

It was a residential area.

Schools, mosques, a hospital.

- It happened to you?
- No.

- No?
- No, it didn't.

I was just trying to impress you.

- It's late.
- Yeah, it's late.

MUTTY: You should go.

I'm a little tipsy,
so yeah. But thank you.

I'm sorry, I'm too drunk. We'll head home.

- Bye.
- Thank you. Bye bye.

- I appreciate it.
- Bye bye.

CLAIRE: Thank you again. Good night.

I just didn't want to
talk about it with him.

MONICA: (crying) You avoid
the question every time.

CLAIRE: Monica! Because I
don't want to talk about it

while I'm here doing business.

MONICA: It's never a good time.

It's always on your terms, Claire!

CLAIRE: Yeah, right now it is.

(CRYING)

I'm just gonna stay here,
and I'm gonna watch your show.

CLAIRE: Stop it!
Stop acting like a baby!

Stop it! I'm sick of it!

I'm sick of this bullshit!
What the fuck do you want?

I want you to be my family.

CLAIRE: I am your family!

You're not, because you just

think about your fucking work.

(SOBBING)

CLAIRE: I don't even
know how to reason with you

right now because you're
fucking drunk, and crying.

No I'm not. You never talk to me.

Because I'm fucking working!

Monica. Monica.

Stop crying!

Monica, stop it!

Why do you have to always be so selfish!

What you're doing is self-centered!

MONICA: You just don't want me.

You just want your fucking
theater, and your fucking art!

And I don't fucking
matter, and I'm no one!

And no one ever fucking cares about me!

- No fucking one!
- Stop it.

You don't care. You have all
these people that love you.

I have no fucking one!

You have a fucking family

and you don't want to
be what I fucking want!

CLAIRE: Stop it! Stop it!

MONICA: Stop it you!

CLAIRE: You stop it. Stop it.

(SOBBING)

No I don't wanna fucking
deal with your shit

when I can't fucking get through to you!

Because you're drunk!

I don't want to deal with that shit.

Monica, I am here trying to fucking work!

Can you not understand that! Look at me!

Why do you want to make me act like this?

Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it.

Get your fucking shit together.

(VOICES FADING)

(POUNDING, GRUNTING)

(SOBBING)

(TENT RUSTLING)

(CHICKEN CLUCKING)

(SOMBER MUSIC)

(GEESE HONKING)

Monica.

I have to go to work.

- Sorry.
- I'm sorry too.

- I drank too much.
- I know.

MONICA: What happened?

We had dinner...

I'm not feeling good.

CLAIRE: I don't want
to leave you like this,

but I've got to go.

MONICA: I'll be fine.

(LAWNMOWER RUNNING)

(LAWNMOWER STOPS)

(APPLE CRUNCHING)

(DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)

(LAWNMOWER RUNNING)

(MONICA COUGHING)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLOSING)

(PHONE RINGING)

ADAM: I haven't gotten laid in a year.

JOEL: There's been times
where I haven't banged girls.

ADAM: Yeah, but there was
times when you did. A lot.

JOEL: Jerk off, man. We all do.

ADAM: Can we just...

This guy is ridiculous.

Please. I'm not interested
in your judgment right now.

Okay? Let's just keep moving.

But you've got a Lothario
and a twerp, and it's like...

CLAIRE: That is your judgment!

ADAM: You want us to be
ourselves, you want us...

Guys, we don't have time for this!

You're the one making
the judgment in the text!

I'm not making any judgment!

Hey guys, let's just take a break.

We're just trying to find it.

You wanted us to improv
today, that's what we did.

Maybe we're in a place
because we improved all day.

We played around a lot, we
worked really hard today.

You know, maybe we're at
the end of it right now.

CLAIRE: You guys are fine, I just...

No no no. You're fine, we're all fine.

I'm sorry.

How about if we go get a drink?

Come on. You know you want to.

(GONG MUSIC)

(CHATTER)

- Oh, whoa. Whoa whoa.
- I'm fine.

- Do you want me to drive?
- No.

I don't think you can
drive. You can drive?

- I'm fine.
- You're sure?

- Yes, I'm good.
- I can take you.

You don't look tired. You
don't even look tired.

You better watch yourself.

You don't even look tired.

(CHUCKLING)

I was so excited.

And I knew I was somewhere
else, just by the smell.

It was so... I don't know,
it was otherworldly.

I can't even describe how...

It was like the breath
of God, or something.

I did not think to ask
them if they had a phone.

We started talking, we had drinks.

God, you're selfish.

CLAIRE: (singsong)
It's 3:00 in the morning.

There was no phone. I swear. I swear.

You think you could live
in a place like this forever?

I don't know. Maybe, maybe
when I get older I could.

Not much to do.

It just would be weird at the winter.

Oh yeah.

I would definitely be down

to be in someplace that's
warm all year round.

Oh really? Like Brazil?

- That's warm.
- I could live there.

(GONG MUSIC)

(LAWNMOWER RUNNING LOUDLY)

(ENGINE STOPS)

MUTTY: Peter? It's me.

Mutty.

(LAWNMOWER ENGINE STARTING)

(GONG MUSIC)

Little Worm, I know you're in there.

The door is locked.

Do you need a key? I have a key.

I have my keys! Just
leave me alone please!

MUTTY: We need to have a talk.

I don't want to talk.
Just leave me alone!

MUTTY: There's a
place for wine bottles.

I found a wine bottle.
There's a place for them.

It's the green bin.

- (KNOCKING)
- Okay!

MUTTY: I have rules. You
have to follow them as well.

Just stop messing
with me! Leave me alone!

Fine.

(KNOCKING)

I gotta go to the mechanic.
Do you wanna go with me?

No! Just go away! Go away!

MUTTY: Anyone home?

I know you can hear me.

Why can't we have a beer together?

The problem is that
he comes into the place

when I'm not there.

And I'm not safe. I don't feel good.

Who? Who comes in to your place?

CLAIRE: Mutty.

He's the gentleman that's been
taking care of the property.

(ENUNCIATED) Mutty?

CLAIRE: Mutty.

He is harmless, so, good.

How do we know he's harmless?

Is there a problem?
Seriously, is there a problem?

MONICA: It's okay. It's okay, guys.

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

It's fine. I'm sorry.

Hey.

So you're our cook tonight?

MUTTY: South American hearts.

- That sounds gross.
- It's actually really good.

- Really, you've had these?
- Yeah.

CLAIRE: You like chicken hearts.

- I do. I've told you that.
- I never knew that before.

You just don't listen, Claire.

CLAIRE: So then what's the problem?

Nothing. There's no problem.

Well I don't know about hearts,
but I've had tripe before.

- You had tripe?
- Bigger.

I've had pig's testicles.

- You have not.
- Yes I have.

- You have not.
- I have indeed.

You have not.

I can tell you, it does
not taste like chicken,

if that's what you're wondering.

I am.

Yeah, it's not chicken.

When it's put in front
of you it's like, "What?"

And then you taste it.

It's creepy because, you're
biting your own balls.

That's what it feels like.
That's the texture, everything.

Oh God. You're killing me.

It's like tripe, but balls.

Chitlins. You know what chitlins are.

Yes, I do.

JOEL: Did you ever actually eat them?

No. Ew, the smell. I could
never get past the smell.

I could not get it past there.

ADAM: Is it like haggis or something?

It's nothing like haggis.

CLAIRE: What is haggis?

You don't want to know what haggis is.

- It's wonderful.
- Now I want to know.

- It's not wonderful.
- What it is?

Some things, when a man
tells you something is

leave it alone, you leave it alone.

ADAM: It's corn beef hash but better.

It's not corn beef
hash at all. Trust me.

I'll take your word for it.

You're gonna take my word for it?

Oh, easy.

- You, you.
- Yes, me.

You're funny.

CLAIRE: You better
watch out for this one.

I don't know why, but I do trust you.

- You absolutely should.
- Why?

- I know the reason.
- Why?

What are you doing on Christmas?

CLAIRE: Whoa, that was a jump.

Well I mean my grandmother
still makes chitlins.

I'm sheltered from the chitlins.

But you should come to the
house. Both of you should come.

CLAIRE: That would be sweet.

We're actually going
to Brazil for Christmas.

- Brazil.
- That sounds fun.

That sounds a lot of fun.
They have thongs there.

Easy.

There's something about
seeing your director in a thong

that changes everything
about your direction.

I know that that little smile

has probably caused a lot of trouble.

JOEL: No trouble at all.

- Do you wear thongs?
- I don't.

JOEL: You don't?

They always got the
wrong ones in the thongs.

You seem like the right one.

I'm learning a lot about you right now.

You're cut off.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

I'm so tired of you. You're killing me.

I asked you today to leave me alone.

You keep coming around.
You need to leave me alone.

MUTTY: You need to stop.

You keep living here. You
don't want to leave me alone.

MUTTY: You're being ugly.

(GRILL CLATTERING)

CLAIRE: I'm sorry. Mutty, I'm sorry.

MUTTY: I can fix it.

CLAIRE: She'll be okay.

You guys, don't touch the coals, okay?

I can fix this. I can fix this.

I can fix it.

Are we getting in
the pool today or what?

It's a good time for that
thong, Claire. You coming?

You coming? Come on.

My dad is gonna be really angry.

I thought this would be
nice food for you guys.

My dad is gonna be really angry.

(GONG MUSIC)

(LAUGHING)

(MUTTERING)

You can't see! You can't see!

(ARGUING, SHOUTING)

(SCREECHING)

Mutty.

Hey Mutty.

Hey buddy, how you doing?

- Hey Rocky.
- You remember me, huh?

Huh?

- The family okay?
- I'm okay.

No problems?

Hey listen, I got a
small situation up here

I was hoping you could help me with.

Could you help me out with something?

I can help you.

Why don't you come up here with me.

We got a little situation

with some people you may or may not know.

Like maybe some girls.

MUTTY: I talked to the girls.

ROCKY: You talked to some girls.

That was a good conversation?

MUTTY: I gave them dinner.

ROCKY: You gave them dinner.

How did you give them dinner?

With food, and with wine.

Can you do me a favor, Mutty?

Can you just step over here for a second?

I gotta go talk to some of these people.

I didn't do anything bad.

I know you didn't.

You've always been good, right?

Why don't you wait right here

while I talk to these people, okay?

Hey. What's going on?

I called the cops.

- What?
- I called the cops.

- Afternoon ladies.
- Hi sir.

- How we doing?
- Good, and you?

I'm Officer Scarboro. I'm
with the police department.

Somebody made a complaint.
I don't know which...

- You? Your name, ma'am?
- Monica.

Monica.

I just drove up here
and I saw this young man

down here picking berries or something.

I don't know if he's
involved in any part of it.

- But his name is Mutty.
- Mhm.

And exactly what did he do to you?

ROCKY: Ouch.

Did he sexually abuse you in any way,

or grope you, or anything?

No.

- He didn't.
- No.

ROCKY: What do you
think he was trying to do

when he grabbed you?

He's been harassing me
for the past few weeks.

- He has been.
- Yes.

ROCKY: We're not
gonna have that happen.

I know him, I know his family,
but I know he has problems.

He might be acting out. I
don't know what he's doing.

But I know he hasn't been a problem.

As you can imagine,
somebody with Asperger's

probably has some real issues
dealing with this world.

In any case, I'm not happy
with this bruising on your arm.

We can handle this in one of two ways.

I can bring him home,
which I'm gonna do anyhow.

Talk to his father, and his mother.

And make sure he doesn't cross that fence

and come over here anymore.

Or we could summons him to court.

It's up to you.

If you want him being brought to court,

he'll go before a magistrate or a judge

and they'll determine what further things

should be done with him.

But it's up to you, it's
ultimately up to you.

I think we should just
get him to his family,

handle it that way.

I don't want to go
through any court system.

Is that okay by you?

I want to take him to court.

Why don't you allow me to take him home.

And I'll speak to his father.

I'll walk him off the
property, speak to his father,

and hopefully it doesn't happen again.

There's one thing, Monica.

Remember the saying, "There
for the sake of God go I."

Everybody needs a break.

You decide.

You want to take him to court.

MONICA: Yes.

ROCKY: Okay. You're sure
you want to take him to court.

MONICA: Yes.

ROCKY: It's your
decision, not anybody else.

I know she's being a good friend,

but it's your decision to make.

- Yes.
- Okay.

You're gonna get something in the mail.

Appear in court a certain time and place.

Thanks for waiting here, buddy.

I appreciate you waiting here.

Did you say you were nice to those girls?

- I was nice with them.
- You were nice to them.

You didn't touch them,
you didn't hurt them?

You were nice to them.

I know that. I did not.

ROCKY: Did you say anything to them?

MUTTY: We were nice together.

ROCKY: You were nice together. Okay.

We're gonna have to deal with that, okay.

MUTTY: I didn't do anything bad.

I know you didn't. I know.

I've known you for a long time.

MUTTY: I know that I
didn't do anything bad, Rocky.

Well listen, right now
we're gonna have to go

up your father's house.

I'm gonna ask you to leave the property.

- I didn't do anything.
- I know you didn't.

But we're still gonna have to go, okay?

We'll go up to your parents,
and I'll talk to them,

and everything is gonna be fine. Okay?

MUTTY: I didn't do anything bad, Rocky.

ROCKY: Well I didn't think you would.

I've known you for a long time.

Maybe there's just a
misunderstanding, right?

It could be a misunderstanding.

But in any case, I'm gonna ask you

to stay away from this house for a while.

MUTTY: This is my dad's property.

ROCKY: That may be so,

but you're gonna have to
stay away from this building.

MUTTY: I need my bags.

ROCKY: Okay, we'll get those too. Okay?

Okay Mutty?

- Your father home?
- No.

- Your father's not home?
- No. Florida.

ROCKY: All right, well
we can still handle this.

You're not gonna go back to
this house though, right?

(WHISTLING)

(SNAPPING FINGERS)

CLAIRE: Go. Sing.

It was kinda nuts. Are we
not gonna talk about that?

That was a night at the house, yeah.

I don't know.

- Is your girl all right?
- Yeah. She's good now.

Yeah.

That was kinda nuts. Is he still around?

CLAIRE: No, we haven't
seen him. Everything is cool.

That doesn't mean he's not still around.

CLAIRE: No, he's not around.

No mowing, no gifts, no nothing.

We have not seen him,
and I'm good with that.

- Claire, he was weird.
- I know. I know.

No, but like for real weird.

Like weird.

Like Michael Meyers weird.

You mean not the
comedian. The other guy.

Definitely not the comedian.
It wasn't really funny.

I don't know what you
guys are freaking out about.

Honestly, he's just a guy.

(AMBIENT MUSIC)

JOEL: So I want to
marry this white girl

that I find beautiful.

But I want to live in South Carolina.

How does that happen?

ADAM: Maybe I'll study
computer science or something.

Like study programming, or...

JOEL: So you're gonna
tell me that the only reason

that we're getting hung
by trees and shot...

ADAM: Jews, we got the Holocaust.

Black people have got slavery.

JOEL: No, no, no. Cut that out.

- What?
- The Holocaust.

Like you have some designation

and dominion over all holocausts.

The Native Americans had a holocaust.

How do you think we got here?

Where do you think they
all are man? They're dead.

You are white. Period.

Not all white people are the same!

Come on, Irish, and Slavic,
and Jewish, and Italian.

Scandinavian, they're all different man.

Just like not all black
people are the same.

You don't get it! I don't
want to tell you this!

I don't want to have this conversation!

I don't want to wear the backpack

of my brothers and my sisters.

For all I care, I'm sick of all of it.

You know what I am? Every
single day I'm black.

I'm a nigger on Tuesday,
and a black on Thursday,

and an African-American on Wednesday,

and a negro in the '70s,
and a colored there.

And I don't pick any of those names.

Where was the meeting where I said,

"Yes, I'm African-American.

"You know what, I think I'll be black.

"I think I'll have the hardest way to go.

"I think I'll have police brutality.

"I think I'll have some slavery.

"I think I'll have some oppression.

"I think I'll choose all of that.

"Yes, please give me more of that, sir."

Have you ever heard of Trayvon Martin?

Yeah, I've heard of that guy.

He's got some Skittles, and an iced tea.

And some rent-a-cop, that
ain't even really black.

But you know that's one level
up because you're lighter,

and you're Mexican, and you're Latino.

So you're one level up from nigger.

So you get to kill me. You get to kill me.

Then a jury of your
peers, that look like you,

say, "You know what.

"I do think that a man
with a hood is scary.

"I think a man with a hood..."

Aren't you scared? Are you scared yet?

ADAM: Okay. I get it, I get it.

- Do you get it?
- I get it! I get it!

Okay, you want to know the truth?

You want to know the truth?

- Educate me.
- I will educate you.

I am so glad to finally educate you.

I'm telling you that everything

you're rooted in is a choice.

Everything you've got is a choice.

Everything you've got is a choice!

It's not a fucking choice!

I'm black, do you see
me?! You can't wash it!

You can't scrub it! You
can't dress it up in a tie!

My culture, everything that
I am, I can't wash it away.

It just stays.

Listen, listen.

- I'm done! I'm done!
- I'm done too.

It's not you. It's not you.

You cannot make this
right. You can't fix it.

And don't get me wrong.
I love white people.

MARCUS: I'm sorry man. I'm sorry.

(APPLAUSE)

Come on player. Come on player.

It's mostly when I write

I get my inspiration from
living in New York City.

And I wanted to have
two actors explore that.

I think that's a good inspiration point.

So what about you guys? How
was the working process?

I really personally enjoyed the process.

I thought that the openness of the improv

really allowed us to really
take a script that was written,

even though inspired by
member, written by a woman,

to really explore who we
truthfully are as men.

I really appreciate that, Claire.

Those were not my words.

When you say, "Those were not my words,"

are you referring to kind of like,

the Plato cave sort of thing,

like what is a reflection of what?

What do you mean by that?

I just mean that the words
that were spoken here tonight

were not my words, they were not the words

that were written on the page.

ADAM: Yeah. We made your words better.

I think that's really pompous.

ADAM: We gave you lots of
great things to work with.

That's called writing.

So absolutely we should
get a writing credit,

because you constantly
wanted us to improv.

No, you definitely should
get a writing credit,

because this was not my work, so I agree.

Yeah, well it's not just your work.

It's never just one person!

CLAIRE: I can hear you. I'm right here.

We improved to understand
to get under the character.

...is the reason that you're a lesbian.

What? What?

Because you just want to
do whatever you want to do,

and feel whatever you want to do.

And there's no lines,
and there's no structure.

You have no idea what
you're talking about.

And then you asked
us to bring our lives,

which we know about being men,

actually know what it's like to be a man

and live in a man's body.

We do, and you don't.

And then you're gonna write something,

and get in front of people,
and tell us we're wrong?

Fuck!

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

(GONG MUSIC)