Too Hard to Handle (2016) - full transcript

Mr. Kapsalos?

Oh, Ms. Hermann.

You don't have an appointment.

- I need to talk to Dr. Kleve!
- She's on maternity leave.

Her substitute only take emergencies.

I just killed my inner child.

By accident.

I mean, I wanted the miscarriage,
but not with such a long drop down.

There's no body or blood
yet but it's a fact.

It's dead!

I think I qualify as an emergency.



- Hi.
- Hi.

- Just start from the top.
- I don't know where that is.

The beginning.
When did all this start?

Am I supposed to dredge up
my childhood all over again?

Why the fuck do you write it down,
if I have to start all over anyway?

What's in there anyway?

TERMINATION OF EMPLOYMENT

It started a year ago when I was fired.

Oh, Karo.

I'm really sorry.

But you'll find a new job.
You're young. How old are you?

28.

Well...

Young enough to grow up, anyway.
To stop being so emotional,



crying all the time,

to be more considerate, careful,
nicer to be around,

not so high-maintenance...

But it's nothing personal, you know.

I think you're awesome,
Karo, just awesome.

You okay?

What are you thinking?

Shit.
Nothing. I'm fine.

I'm not "high-maintenance".
I'm cool as a cucumber:

An oasis of peace.

- I did a bad job.
- I goofed up.

- It's all my fault.
- "Karo, you're fired."

- Hi, Mom. I got fired.
- I ruined everything.

- Welfare.
- Move out of the city.

A one-room flat.
Take the bus again.

- Say you're sorry.
- Go by bike.

- I'm sorry I was...
- high-maintenance. I won't be.

It's like in that song.

Motherfucking convertible asshole!

Idiot!

Dumb-ass moron!

Asshole-moron! Bastard!

How am I supposed to do this?
Suck it in?

Squish through like a jellyfish?

Firemen will have to cut me free

with lasers that char me to a crisp.

Look, I got you a hero roll.

Great.

Are you coming or going?

I was told to go.

- Hubert fired me.
- What?

No! Why?

Yeah, well...

Because of who I am.

Because I'm me.

Or was, anyway.

That's got to be against the law.

As if anyone gives a shit
In the media business.

You know why the Next Top Models
cry all the time?

No water.
They don't give them anything to drink.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay. I don't care.

It's great, actually.

Freedom!

Okay, outta here. Bye.

That's the wrong way!

She'll be sorry! You don't know
what you've got til it's gone!

Damn, Anna, your mailbox sucks.
Call me!

Hi, honey!

Hey. Hey!

Today's my last day at work.

Because I'm quitting.

You're going the wrong way!

Maybe I'll take a last minute vacation.

To Romania or something.

Wanna meet?

Let's go out.
It's summer.

My favorite season.
Let's go see Knut the polar bear.

They stuffed him.

Time to redecorate.

I'll make it really bright.

I need a lamp.

- Light improves the mood.
- A tanning lamp, a heating lamp, or both.

Hi again. Philipp's going to a
practice gig, even though I got fired.

What's there to practice?
Opening his laptop?

Excuse me.
Hey, cry-baby.

Pipe down!
Can't you see I'm on the phone?

Jesus!

Hello?
Hello?

Hello, excuse me.

I'm planning a complete renovation.

How do "calm"
and "mild" colors differ?

- It's how the color affects you.
- I'll take "calm."

- "Mild" sounds like cheese.
- Is she yours?

No. Should I use a roller
or can you spray it on?

I saw someone do that
on TV the other day.

- Where's your mommy?
- I don't know.

Olaf here. I've got a 5-2-3
in the paint section.

What's your name?

Avril Sienna.

Afril Zienna.

Come here.

Suction cup towel racks
are drill-free, right?

Sorry, but can't you see
I've got my hands full?

Giving whiners attention
only makes it worse.

- Mama!
- There you are, Avi!

There you are!

My God! Thank you!

If it were up to her,
she would've let her cry her eyes out.

If a whiner can't survive
a hardware store, it's not meant to be.

How can you be so cruel?
You're totally bonkers!

Are you actually crying?

So what? She is, too!

Are you in treatment?

Is there someone we should notify?

Hey, kiddo. Kiddo, you know what?

Fuck your mother.

Attention! We've got a 7-2-5
in the paint section.

Hey, out of my way!

This is Karcher from
the paint section of Heber Hardware.

Am I speaking with
Karo Hermann's boyfriend?

Okay, could you pick up
your girlfriend in the paint section?

Yeah, how can I put this...

She's making trouble.

TOO HARD TO HANDLE

Could you please hold me?

I'm already holding you.

That job wasn't right for you.

You need a job
that's less about other people.

Less customer service.

Nothing where you have to [Inge
precise or tidy.

And it has to be quick.

Burglar?

What about Romania?

- What do you mean, Romania?
- It was a great idea.

I'm sure it's really interesting, and...

the third world
puts life back into perspective.

What's wrong with my perspective?

That makes me so angry.

Nobody gives a shit about anything...

except shopping and guzzling coffee.

What are they celebrating all the time?

No idea.

- You know what my father said?
- What?

He asked me if I wanted to work
on the construction site in Haren.

But that's great.
You'd make lots of money.

I don't do that anymore.

I make music now, got it?

He knows that.

He just can't accept
that I refuse to be part of the system:

Get up, work, eat, sleep...

and pollute the environment
with a station wagon.

But it's a family car.

That's what I mean.

Having a child in this world
is selfish.

Do we really need more people
with more problems, Karo?

It's so frustrating.

I need my T-shirt.

We could go to Romania together.

- I'm in a hurry.
- But I got fired.

But it's not always about you.

Other people have problems too.

Yeah.

Bye.

Yeah, great. Bye.

A 20-minute bath = 4 cigarettes.

You finish a cigarette,
5 minutes are up.

Don't look at the cigarette!

- 20 minutes is long.
- Don't look at it!

I have lots of time now.

Lots and lots of time.

What do I do with all the minutes?

What if all I've got is time
and nothing to fill it with?

Don't look at the cigarette!

If he loved me
he would've stayed.

- No wonder. I'm too wired all the time.
- Too much!

Much too much.

- My fat soul never gets enough.
- Don't look!

- I'm a love-monster.
- Don't look at the cigarette!

Don't look at the cigarette!

- Can't you people sit inside?
- Wannabe celebrities!

You belong in the jungle!

Stupid cow!

Don't let it get to you.
It's a nice day.

Think positive.

Welcome to Cunt-land!

It's summer. Gorgeous.
Relaxing outside.

Cunt-city!

What are you all staring at?

Eat while you still can!

Anna, you've got to start
selling those new drinks.

Hello, Heini.

I called you 1,000 times.
Your cell must be broken.

I turned it off.

Nothing's changed here.
What about the new opening?

It's a re-opening!

Anna,

as an event organizer,

I strongly recommend
you get rid of all this clutter.

You should throw out
all the old crap.

I'll help.
I've got lots of time.

Honestly, that looks like
it's for a funeral.

That is for a funeral.

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

Man, I'm sorry. I...

I just...

I had such a stupid day.

Hubert fired me,

- then this lady at the hardware store...
- Get out.

- What?
- I can't handle you right now.

It's got nothing to do
with you forgetting my father's funeral.

It's because you've got no clue
when someone else needs help for a change.

It's always about you,
and nobody else.

But I just offered
to renovate your place.

I don't want to renovate.

You offered because
you've got time on your hands.

That's just what I'm talking about!

There's no room for me to be sad.
I'm always too busy comforting you.

You know how you could really help me?

Find somebody else to cry to.

If anyone's left.

I have lots of friends.

Lots of friends
who really like talking with me.

Can I smoke?

My family measures time in cigarettes,
If I could smoke,

- I'd know how long we've..
- Ms. Hermann, why are you here?

Well...

I'd like to change.

But therapy isn't like
going to the hairdresser.

Yeah.

I'm not expecting a full
makeover or something.

If you really want therapy,

you have to start

taking yourself seriously.

Can I start again?

Well...

I'm not okay.

I'm impatient, too emotional
and I have absolutely no self-control.

That's why I lost my job

at an event agency.

Apparently I'm selfish as well,

according to Anna.

Yeah, and I have a boyfriend, too.

Philipp.

But I can't stand him.

What we share is smoking.

But now he's into "healthy" cigarettes,
and I stay with him anyway.

Should I talk about my childhood?

If you'd like to.

It was pretty average.

Well, um...

My parents are divorced.

But they're okay with each other.

My mom went through a rough patch,
so I was with my grandparents a lot.

But it was good. They were really nice.

Are really nice.

Were.
Well, Grandpa died last year.

But he was really old, I mean...

Wasn't your mother there?

- Why?
- You were at your grandparents' so often.

No, she was there.

Why are you sleeping?

Are you sad?

Why are you always crying?
Don't be sad.

Sleep. I'll be quiet.

Light and quiet.

As if I'm not even here.
Like a ghost.

Was your mother
not as nice as your grandparents?

She hit me a few times,
but that's no big deal.

Actually, I can't even remember.

Would you think it was normal
if I slapped you right now?

Of course not.
We hardly know each other.

But someone you love...
Can you hit them?

We had a neighbor who liked me
a little too much.

When I was 12,
I told him to stop fondling me.

You told him?

Yeah, I told him that.

And he stopped.

He wasn't a rapist or something.
He was just...

disgusting.

Is that enough?

- What do you mean?
- I mean,

is it enough for therapy?
The neighbor thing isn't average.

What you said before
wasn't average either.

You seem very lonely to me.

When parents can't manage
to take care of their child,

to raise them or give them boundaries,

then you carry that inner child
within you as an adult,

and you don't know how to handle it.

You have no footing, no trust.

How embarrassing.
I feel sorry for myself.

And you should.

Do you think, just because
many people have similar stories,

it makes it better?

What now?

Take a step back for a few days.

See how you feel after this.

And then we'll file for 25 sessions.

So, I got the spot?

Yes, but first you should decide
If I'm a good fit.

There's no way of knowing that anyway.

Don't do anything, for now.

Don't pester yourself,
just let the session sink In.

And please,
don't start meddling with therapies.

I won't.

And that's when I really started
meddling with therapies.

I'm calm and content.

I am calm and content.

Our families operate
a lot like wild geese.

Our positions reflect

our emotional relationships
with one another.

- And what's that?
- My grandmother, my mother.

I am your father.

Sweetie!

How long have you been here?

What are you looking for?

A family picture.

Did you look out in the hall,
in the box?

Dad's head is cut off in that one.

Yeah, but the real one's still attached.

Look at what Stefan's wearing!

- But that's Rolf.
- What?

Oh, God! You're right!

Who cares?
Any one will do, right?

What do you need the photo for?

Therapy homework:
resolving issues with the past.

You're doing therapy?
I think that's fantastic!

You should go see Kleve, too.

Don't you care that it could mean
you didn't do a great job as a mother?

Well, I think you turned out just fine.

I'm a loud, annoying,
emotional beast.

No, you're a strong, creative,
passionate sweetheart.

Right, and it all just happened
while you were in bed crying...

- I was taking a nap, that's all.
- Today you were, yes.

Great parenting job dumping
your kid with the grandparents.

Now you're being unfair.

Depression is an illness.

I really don't think that's an excuse.

I'm not doing so great either.

- I lost my job.
- Oh, no. I'm sorry.

You should be. It's a direct result
of your motherly misconduct.

Now I have to deal with
who you made me be,

or rather who you didn't make me be!

- Without a job, I can't pay my rent.
- I'll land on the street.

Everybody knows
you need an address to get work.

I thought Grandma paid the rent.

Even if, it should be you.

You've never had trouble
paying your own way.

You're not a child anymore.

No, but I'm your child.

Poor little sweetie-pie!

You poor, poor,
unemployed sweetie-pie!

Come to Grandma.

First we'll raise the bank order.

Can you read me the pin?

- You don't have to, Grandma.
- Oh...

Why do you want to go to the cemetery
in this weather?

To catch up on grief work.
I'm the picture-perfect patient.

You're my little busy bee.

Henner's way in the back,
behind the watering cans.

Wait! Don't open it.
It's probably Lucy.

We'll be quiet.

We can't do that.
She has a key, anyway.

Are you there?

- Oh, hello Lucy.
- Is Karo here?

- Um, no.
- Can I come in?

It's a really bad time.

What? Hey!

Oh please. This is just silly, Mom!

Instead of paying you back
I can just give Karo what I owe you.

But you haven't.

Of course not.
I want her to be independent!

I helped you out, too
Yes, I know, Mom.

That's why I still owe you.

Bye, Grandma.
Thanks for your help.

Oh God!

Shit!

Poor Anna.

What was I thinking?

Why didn't I attend the service?

Because I'm Miss Super Asshole!

My super-power:
being an asshole.

Hey, Vato!

Want a beer?

I can come down.

Not now, I have to mourn.

Hello, Grandpa.

Do I have to say it out loud
or just imagine it?

Can he even hear me?

- He's under there.
- 5 meters?

- Berlin's built on sand.
- 10?

He's buried in the sand,
like on the beach, in Sylt.

- Sylt is disappearing.
- 10, for sure.

Mike Powell can jump eight.
Really, really far!

How come I'm not sad?

- I'm supposed to be sad.
- Cry, stupid!

Cry! Your Grandpa is dead!
He's never coming back, never, ever!

How am I supposed to be sad
in this shitty weather?

Are you going to die today, Grandpa?

No.

Tomorrow?

No, sweetie.

Not until you're all grown up.

And then I can't stop crying.

The best places to cry in Berlin:
At Knut's crystal coffin.

In the rain at the Wannsee.

Under the forgotten TV tower.
Daytime at the Kreuzberg outdoor cinema.

Hertha's home field.

Secretly at Plänterwald Fairground.

From way above, at number 9, Market Halls.

Behind my sunglasses,
always and everywhere.

Excuse me.

Hello! Hello!

What do you think you're doing?

We're making the city a little greener.

You nuts? Take it away.

Why? It's pretty.
You can harvest fresh herbs.

A million-generations of dogs
have crapped there,

and I puke in it.

I feel so abandoned somehow.

By whom?

By my...

mom.

Anna, Grandpa...

Philipp.

He doesn't give a shit how I feel.

And your father?

No, you can't be abandoned
by someone who was never there.

Well...

If there's a hole,
something must've been there before.

It's the same with Philipp.

He's also...

He's never there!

Even when he's physically there,
he's not.

Why am I with him?

I'm not allowed to say.

Please.

I don't know either.

Maybe you chose Philipp
because he's like

your father.

I don't get it.

Your relationship with your father
was your first relationship with a man.

So you automatically
look for a relationship

similar to that relationship.
Because it's familiar.

And the familiar...

feels safe.

And that's probably...

also the reason why...

it's hard for you to leave Philipp.

I could leave Philipp.

In a heartbeat.
No problem.

Ms. Hermann, that wasn't an order.

It's just something
to think about.

Are they similar... your men?

You making bone-contact yet?

Hey.

Could we talk real quick?

- It's been so long.
- Maybe you didn't notice,

but it's packed.

- And hot!
- It's pleasantly warm.

- Where did all the tourists come from?
- You're not a Berliner either.

I've lived here for seven years.
According to the rule, I'm a Berliner.

Come on, dumb-asses!

What?

My therapist says I'm with you
because you're like my father.

Isn't your dad an idiot?

I'm sorry, but all this therapy crap...

is only for the privileged.
You know what you've got?

A luxury problem!
A fucking luxury problem!

That's all.

In Africa, every teeny tiny problem
is bigger than yours.

Papa, I lost my job.

So? Then find another.
Good people are always in demand.

Papa, I don't think I'm in demand at all.

Karo!

Karo, stop crying, will you?

Keep the door shut!

Now we're really having fun.

Why don't you smoke your own?

You always get them all wet.

Surely a drag isn't too much to ask.

But when you suck on it like that...

it gets all hot
and doesn't taste anymore.

Just pass, stupid asshole!

It's a green light.
Why don't you go?

Because I don't feel like it.

If you can't even share a cigarette
with me, you can just get out and go.

And then I broke up with him.

Well, pretty much.
And you know what?

No separation anxiety. Nothing!

I'm not sad at all!

What does "pretty much" mean?

Well, I said...

Let's take a break
from seeing each other.

- How am I supposed to get home?
- No idea.

Oh, wait!

Take a rickshaw!

What?

I did a great job, don't you think?

Hey, good job, Karo, you got rid of him,
and you got past your father issues!

So, take a very deep breath,
and look inside yourself.

- Well?
- Nothing.

No broken heart. I feel great.

Is taking a break
the same as breaking up'?

Okay,

if it's only a break,

then it's no wonder

you're not sad.
You left the backdoor open.

You can always go back to him.

But I don't want to.

And we haven't been in touch
for over a week.

You look a bit pale, though.

Because of the stupid breathing.

Do a few days...

even count as a week?

If it's more than seven days,
do you still say "a few days"?

You say a week, right?

Right?

Suddenly he's back.

Active in every corner of my mind.

5 minutes ago, 2 minutes ago, just now.

I'm here, and he's near...

- Who's Alex?
- Is that short for Alexandra?

- Why doesn't he call?
- I'll write him.

- He doesn't want me.
- I'm pretending.

- I'll go to him, do it right.
- He doesn't want me.

- I'll be strong.
- He doesn't want me.

- I wanna go home.
- Why am I going? Stop!

- I can't. Turn back.
- Stop! I hate this!

- I want to stop. Stop!
- I can't. I'm on autopilot.

We're doing just fine.

He'll hold me tight, forgive me.

- What if he doesn't want me?
- He doesn't want me. -Too loud!

Hi!

Hi.

Hi!

What are you doing here?

I wanted to listen to your set.

Can we talk later?

We haven't talked in eight days.

You said we shouldn't see each other
for a while.

- No, I said we should take a break.
- Wait.

- Eight days isn't a break.
- The cross-fade's coming.

It's the fucking Carnival of Cultures!
Who gives a shit about your cross-fade?

If you'd rather dance with your Muppets
than save your relationship...

Karo,
there's nothing left to save.

We're not happy.

Besides, I have the feeling

you can't stand me.

I miss you.

Is that right?

- Let's go home.
- I'm not coming along.

- You're scared of committing!
- I'm scared of you!

You're too much.
Nobody can handle you.

I can't.

I can't save you.

- I don't love you.
- What?

I don't love you.

He doesn't love me.

It's too much for me.

Let's leave it at that.

Leave it at what?

It's over.

- Air!
- I'm suffocating!

- Calm down.
- Breathe.

- I can't breathe!
- Calm down, calm down!

- Do something.
- Tidy up!

Make yourself really small.

The seal is broken.
The air's escaping.

Which way is up?

Everything's dissolving,
flooding into me and getting stuck.

- I'm shattered.
- Which way is up? Is that up?

- Please, please, let there be an up again!
- Let there be an up again!

One cigarette equals
two minutes without it.

It's gone. Is it gone?

No, it's still there.

It has to stop, but nothing's there.

- Nothing, it's just me.
- I am fear.

It's me.

It's me, I'm it.

- I have to turn it off.
- Turn it off! -I'll turn myself off.

Anna, no. Anke, no. Anke B., the agency,
no, no, no.

Papa, no! Pizza, no. Philipp, no!

Dr. Kleve, no, no, no, no!

- Hey, Max!
- Karo!

I'm feeling a little weird.
Can you come over?

- I can't breathe. Maybe it's allergies.
- Yeah, sure.

Max, can you hurry?

I'm on my way.
I just passed the terrible Thai place.

- Okay.
- What's that dish you always order?

Number 2.

Describe it to me in detail.

It's...

chicken, vegetables, coconut milk,

and those flavored woody things.

- I can see you.
- Where?

Where? Where?

Where? Where?

I can't see you.
Where are you?

Here.

I'm coming straight towards you.

- What's wrong?
- I can't breathe.

Everything's fine.
Don't be afraid.

- I think I'd rather go home.
- No way.

First we find out what's wrong.

Which pollen are you allergic to?

It must be some kind of grass,
this time of year.

Oh, God! I'm sorry.

Now Mimi's going to think
you came on yourself.

Put it under the tongue.
It's Lorazepam.

It's anti-anxiety medication.

You'll feel better
in half an hour.

Don't you have anything faster,
like a shot?

You should see a psychiatrist.
You have a therapist?

Anette.

Okay, you need a doctor
to prescribe something for every day.

If you take Lorazepam every day,
you won't be able to get out of bed.

And they're addictive.

Do you understand?

Emergencies only.

Any suicidal thoughts?

Have you ever wanted to hurt yourself?

I only think about
having suicidal thoughts.

Maybe you should stay
here for a while.

Okay, I'll stay here.

I'll get help, like the other psychos
who cry out in the night.

Tied up in a kennel.
Shock treatments with a mouth brace.

Yes... Her colleague.

Yeah, but she's in a bad way.

No, Philipp, it's your job to...

Hey! I'm doing great.
Talk to you later.

- But you're not great.
- Yes, but he's scared enough already.

Scared of what?

Of me.

I'll be doing great again soon.

He'll see that,
and everything will be fine.

Of course.

Sure... definitely.

I feel a bit tired.

I'll sleep in the study
on the couch.

Then you can sleep with Karo.

Why can't she sleep in the study?

She can't be left alone.

But I can't be
left alone with her either.

Can you see me, Max?

Help me, please!

- Look deep inside yourself.
- I'm so alone, I'm not even here.

But you are still here.

- I want Philipp to come.
- You can be there for yourself.

I don't want to be there for myself.
I don't like myself.

Why not?

- I'm not worthy of love.
- Who says so?

- Philipp.
- I never said that.

But somebody said it!

You said it.

Karo, if you don't love yourself,

it won't help
if someone else does.

Philipp isn't the problem.

Then who's the problem?

We're the problem.

What is she taking?

It's not as dramatic as it looks.

Those are "rescue drops."
It's completely herbal.

Yeah, but maybe...

powerful, chemical
anti-depressants would be better.

No, I can't prescribe them.

Only psychiatrists can do that.

Let's try this first.

Yeah, but it's not our responsibility.

We're not some kind of
rehab center for psychos.

And how long will this go on?

She must have family
or a girlfriend.

- What am I supposed to do?
- Be on my side...

Kick her out.

She's get to pull herself together.
It's been a whole week.

This is me pulled together.

You'll be fine,
It's just a broken heart,

not a disease.

But it feels like one.

Yeah, well...

except it's not contagious.

So don't worry.
It won't infest your happy home.

By the way, no smoking!

Mimi!

Max,
I can't take this another second!

I couldn't take it another second!

And her hair!

I mean, seriously,
how can you have hair like that?

You know who she looks like?

Thomas Gottschalk.

- Thanks for picking me up.
- Yup.

I'm just dropping you at your place.

I can't go there.

What if I panic again?
Can't I stay with you?

- No, you can't stay with me.
- Why not?

You just can't.

Hey!
Are you fucking insane?

You can't just
dump your problems on me anymore!

- Where can I go? Nobody's there!
- I don't care, just not my place.

Sleep well, sweetie-pie.

Being sad in the evening
isn't as bad as in the morning.

You can go to sleep,
have a nice dream, make nice plans,

and forget everything.

In the morning, it's like all your
options dissolve in an instant.

There's no way ahead,
back, up, down...

There's nothing left:

Nothing to hold on to,
to believe in,

nothing to love, be afraid of,

be happy about,

to cry about.

Nothing.

Alone with myself again.

And I can't even see myself.

Are you nuts, Mom?

You can't feed her those pills!

I made sure to only give her
one at a time.

Is she dead?

No, of course not.

Probably just asleep for a while.

I'm going to stay here...
until she wakes up.

Me too.

- Well, sleep never hurt anybody.
- Bullshit.

Sleep has hurt people thousands of times.

- Like who?
- Sleeping Beauty.

Someone we know.

Me.

- And you're partly to blame.
- What's that supposed to mean?

I looked after you
and took care of Karo.

You had completely
lost it at the time.

I kept it all from falling apart!

I wish I'd been able to
take care of my child.

Or... I don't know,

made Christmas nice,

but I just couldn't.

I only wanted to help.

Yeah, I know, Mom.

But sometimes a kick in the ass
is better than a hug.

But there's no way
I'm letting my child rot in bed.

I was your patient even
before you moved in here.

Doesn't make a difference.

- We're full.
- She needs a prescription.

I want to go home.

See? She has to want it.

She has serious depression.

How can she want it
If she doesn't give a shit about life?

Then take a seat.

It's like thinking in layers...

overlapping layer circling about,
and I can't stop.

So, am I getting shock therapy?

No.
The EEG measures brainwaves.

Then we'll take a blood sample
to make sure you tolerate the medication.

It won't take effect
for a few weeks.

- Do I really have a real depression?
- What's "real" anyway?

I'd say you had a nervous breakdown...

caused by a depressed state,

coupled with an anxiety disorder.

I feel like
I'm cheating on Anette.

- And who is Anette?
- My therapist.

But I'm not your secret lover.

Anette and I can share you.
She gets your soul and I get your body.

Think of it like this:

Your soul is supported
by strong pillars.

Family, work, friendships, love...

and your body, of course.

If several pillars crumble,

like in your case,
your body can't handle the stress.

Escalation.

Successful anti-riot tactics
used on May 1st are now utilized

to curb violence:
Sausages and live acts

calm angry citizens.
And it's paying off...

Come on, let's go out.

What happens if you forget a pill?

I set an alarm with "I Will Survive"
on my cell as a reminder to take my pill.

- I could Bluetooth it to you.
- Please don't.

Stop changing the sheets.
I can do it.

Come stay with me
till you're feeling better.

- No.
- No.

Well, the good news is
you're at "deep shit point."

Things can only get better
from now on.

I don't have what you have.

I'm not taking them.
I don't have depression.

Well, this is fun.

I don't lack motivation,
have trouble sleeping or worry a lot.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Why can't I hear myself?
I can't hear myself!

Am I still here?
Maybe I'm not here!

What if I've died, all alone?

All alone.

What if I'm not here at all?

What if none of this is real?
What if it's not here?

What if the air is gone,
and the floor falls out?

What if everything goes black?

- I'm dissolving.
- Mama. -Am I dead?

- Dissolving.
- I've detached.

- I'm lying next to myself, dying!
- Dissolving!

I'll die and no one will notice!

They've all forgotten me!
I'm lying next to myself!

The light's going out!
I'll be in the blackness! I'm dead!

I'm gone forever! I'm dying!

Oh, my little one,
it's a panic attack!

- You said it couldn't get worse!
- Yes, I know.

- Make it go away!
- Take a deep breath.

- Think of something nice.
- Don't give me that shit!

I'm not a child anymore!

What?

But you're my child!

Can't you see how it hurts me
when you're hurting?

And it's because of me!

I don't know, but it's my fault.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, sweetie.

"Designer watering can."

Available in various colors and sizes.

3.99 euros.

Orange.

Top price.

1 kilo mixed ground beef.

While supplies last.

"2.49 euros!"

Wow, that really is cheap.

"Fire extinguisher..."

And then...

nothing happens.

And it's good.

Mom says I need a boring routine
so I have something I can count on.

Mornings: take my pill,
skip breakfast,

smoke.

Eat before I lose my temper!

Good girl!

Lunchtime: smoke,

and as always,

Anette.

How are you?

Evenings: smoke,

a walk with Mom,

Here, if I carry your arm
you'll be lighter.

Sleep.

I get up at the same time every morning,
I take my pills, I'm very disciplined.

I do bio-feedback, I meditate,
I look inside myself,

I even bought myself
an angel statuette.

I'm doing the whole Rocky routine.

When is something going to change?

What's supposed to change?

Me!

Maybe you shouldn't
focus so much on yourself.

And then?

Something would change.
You'd see something else.

Like what?

Anything.
Something other than yourself.

What does she want from me?
It's great that I see myself.

I've recognized myself.

Fine, so what do I see?
I see...

a few dealers,

and the police
who will have them evicted.

And a poor, lonely old man
pooping in the bushes.

And I'm back: Super Asshole.

An asshole
with her own toilet to poop in,

and health care that pays Anette
so I can moan at the expense of others.

Meanwhile, people are drowning
in the Mediterranean,

rape, leash laws, bird flu, ISIS,

NSA, NSU, PEGIDA, Monsanto.

The whole city is dancing and having fun.
I won't go on like this.

I'll do something selfless,
a grand gesture.

I'll move out of Mom's place.

She could have all sorts of accidents,
or hurt herself!

Come on! I go to work every afternoon.
It's never been a problem.

Hey, sweetie!
Where were you?

Outside.

Alone?

- Great.
- I don't know. I think...

I've got to go home.

Get things sorted out.

Sweetie, you can stay
at my place for a few days.

Grandma,

I love you very much.

But be quiet, okay?

- Bye, Mom.
- Bye, sweetie.

- I'll call you later.
- Okay.

I'm running a bath.

You can sleep here if you want.

No.

It's nice to be home again.

What are you doing?

Reading the Ikea catalogue.
I won't have trouble falling asleep.

- Good night, Mom.
- Sleep well, little one.

There's no way I can go home alone.

Fear moved in there,
my new housemate.

It made itself right at home.

It's probably full of debris,
remnants of how I felt.

Chunks of broken heart,
shreds of Philipp.

I'll live in my car, from now on.

Then I won't be alone.

If I die, people will be there
to find my body in the car.

No, get out!

Fuck off, all of you!

And don't ever come back!

I don't give a shit about your money!

Take your money and shove it!

- That place sucks!
- Fucking hell!

Jerk-offs!

Anna?

What's wrong?

We're the latest "it-joint" now.

- That's great.
- No, it isn't.

It's not!
This is a dive! It's always been a dive,

and it should stay a dive!

But...

change can be really good sometimes,
don't you think?

Yeah, but I look out the window...

Labor Day marches
used to pass through here,

and now I look out
and there's the "Urban Food Festival"!

My father's dead, and the world
keeps turning like nothing happened!

Oh God...

- Oh, no!
- Shit.

- It's okay.
- I have to clean up.

It's okay, I'll do it.

Wait, Anna.

Come on, let's go home.

No.

You just don't want to be alone.

Hello?

We'd like to order something.

Do you have diet coke?

Pardon?

Oh, geez! Diet coke?

Diet coke?
It's devil's piss.

We just have juices: apple,

- cherry and acerola.
- It's no use.

Who is this 'Ace Roller' guy?

Anna.

I'm gonna pee.
Watch this.

- Watch it.
- Okay.

Oh shit!

Some hipster dumb-ass
ate my medicine!

Oh no! A girl collapsed!

- Call an ambulance!
- Out of the way!

Can someone help me, please?

Are you a doctor?

- No, I'm a DJ.
- Me too. -Me too.

Hey.

Hey.

Hi.

- Take it off!
- Ouch!

- Stop it!
- Take it off!

It's so nice
not being the crazy one.

I'm not crazy.

You ripped a man's mustache off.

A world like this,

where you can't tell if a mustache
is a statement of irony or not,

isn't worth living in.

I really don't want to be alone.

A puke smooch.

My father should've waited to die
until I had my own family.

Now I can do and go wherever I want
and nobody cares.

You've still got me.

The old spinster.

I'm such an idiot.
I ate all your pills!

Yeah, but then you
puked them out again.

Can you give me therapy?

- Can I remove your appendix?
- Sure.

Okay, then I can give you therapy.

What will you do without your pills?

- I wanted to stop taking them anyway.
- Really?

I can do it on my own, now.

I'm really good.

Good.

And then I'm Mom,
and Anna is me.

And because she's me,
I don't have to be.

I'm on vacation from myself...
on holiday.

Until Anna feels better.

Sure you're okay with me being here?
Isn't it, like, more of a family thing?

Not at all.
This year, it's different.

Lucy, your decorations are beautiful.

Thanks, Mom.

It's much more festive
than in my old kitchen.

Some Coke?

Anna?

What's wrong?

I'm sorry, I don't know either.
It's just...

Everything's so nice here, so... tranquil.

- Get the candles, I'll get the music.
- Okay.

You poor sweetie-pie.

Is it that bad?

This is the day
we miss our loved ones the most.

You must be thinking of your daddy.

My Henner used to love Christmas, too.

That's why it means so much to me.

Let's go downstairs and celebrate
as we always do.

We can't.

I'm not prepared.

Like she said... "as always."

We don't have to do this just for me-
Yes, we do.

So, who wants schnapps?

On Christmas we play
seven card stud, no bras.

Is that okay for you?

Oh, sweetie...

Here's something to stop the tears.

You're in the picture too.
You're in my belly,

but you're there.

Thanks, Mama.

Can I have that one, too?

- I'll have that one, too.
- I'll take one, too.

Sweetie-pie drank them all!

Thanks.

- Give it to me, I'll pour some more.
- Two.

It's the trolley-trolls.

They come back
for New Year's Eve.

Oh, God!

What?

The Mustache.

- Where?
- There.

I think I'd better apologize.

- I wanted to put it there!
- But I did everything you said.

- It's not about that.
- Hi.

- Thanks for inviting me.
- Hi, Karo.

Long time no see.

How are you?

She should pull herself together.
"It's just a broken heart, not a disease."

Very funny.

What's she doing here?

I didn't think she's come,
so I invited her.

She complains the whole time
that I'm so uninspired and dull,

then she comes
to my New Year's party.

- You don't smoke.
- No, I don't.

But the first drag
is the most poisonous.

My hero.

But a boring one.

There are no boring heroes.

Max, what's up with the stereo?

I've got to go.
On my way, take it easy.

We've gotta go.

All you can do is toe the line.

- You never do anything!
- You don't give me the space to!

- You wanted a party too.
- But I'd never go so over the top.

"The Great Gatsby"? That's not us.

What do you mean?

Do you see me here anywhere!
Take a look around!

Great.

And suddenly my vacation from myself
is over.

I have to be me again.

I see you had a happy New Year.

Happy New Year.

- All the best.
- You too.

- Happy New Year.
- You too.

I'm going. You coming too?

Sure.

But only if you want to.
I'm fine on my own.

Okay, then I'll stay.

- Okay. Bye.
- Okay? Bye.

It's good to be alone.
I wanted it this way.

I need to be alone right now.

I can finally do what I want,
decide for myself

what I want.
Decide what I want.

I want...

I want Anna to come.

- I've created fire!
- My Anna.

Is mind reading too much to ask?
I was always there for her!

- My best friend!
- And on New Year's!

That's brutal, cruel.

Anna!

My Anna.

A-N-N-A.

And then it's back.

It was probably never gone.

- It waited until I was alone to devour me.
- Alone!

I have to get out.
Go anywhere that isn't home.

Find somebody: Mama, Grandma, Anna?

Hey!

- Happy New Year.
- Mimi and I broke up.

Oh shit!

Max is my good friend.

Like Anna, except with a penis!

"Penis"...

It's like incest!

Brother and sister.

He just broke up.
He hasn't even bled dry

and I'm eating him already.

Now that he's here, though...
Why don't I go and stuff my face.

Build up some reserves, some love-fat,
to get me through the winter.

At Karo's. No!

I can come home if you want.

You wanted me to go.

I'm probably way too old.

He's like a foal.
I could be his mother.

And too cute.
Way too cute.

- I'm Woody Allen and he's the model.
- Can I sleep here?

No!

Sure.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Max, the people from Kids Channel
need your presentation for...

I'm just helping Max with a kids' party.

He got sacked by his girlfriend.

Mimi and I were together for three years.

Yeah, I'm pretty sad,
but I think it was the right decision...

Sorry, but are you two retarded?

Do I have "emotional sensitivity nanny"
written all over my face, or what?

Please! What's next?

Power napping?
Homesickness?

I feel sick.

You can't just stop taking the medicine.
You lower the dose slowly.

Didn't you discuss that with Dr. Kleve?

What if I'm falling in love.
With falling in love again?

- What's his name?
- I'm not telling you.

You'll write it down
and then he'll be somebody.

Then, bam!
I'm with him just so I'm not alone.

It's probably the same for Max, too.

And suddenly Max is somebody.

Max is great.

And sweet.

Is Snappy a fish?
Just double-checking...

And funny.
I keep slipping!

This fucking mattress!

And yet, he's probably
just my self-esteem polisher.

- My granny was here.
- Really?

Yeah.

And me, his consolation prize.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Maybe I love him
because he doesn't love me.

- Or he loves me but I don't?
- Or I truly love him but he doesn't?

- Or he thinks I don't.
- It'd be good.

- We'd be good together. Quiet!
- What are you thinking?

I can't even tell you.

My thoughts are all knotted up.

That's good.

Excuse me?

Knots are there to hold things together.

Your thoughts would fall apart
if they weren't all knotted up.

For protection.

So you don't eat your arms next.

Hey!

- How am I gonna get Snappy in here?
- Just a moment. We're coming.

Come on, let's walk over.

Maybe...

Oh, sorry.

You fill 'em up,
I'll make room for more.

- Fill 'em up.
- Another beer to quell the fear?

Oh, please. It's just Max.

Little Max.

That's great! He knows you.
You can't scare him off that easy.

What?

I'm glad you've
warmed up to mustaches.

Next year I'll even plant something
around the barf-crap tree.

- Really?
- Yes.

I'll lock up for you.

- Thanks, spinster.
- No problem, bud.

- Hello.
- Hello!

I knew I'd find you here.

After all, this place was
basically your nursery.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Excuse me,
you're sitting in my chair.

Yup.

I'm Micky, Karo's father.

And you must be Philipp.

Actually, I'm Max.

Ah, okay. I was confused,
because you're not her type.

She tends to fall for idiots.

- Did Karo knit this?
- No, Grandma made it.

Grandma?

- Where are you staying?
- On Knut's couch.

We're off again tomorrow.
Got a gig in Oldenburg.

So, big guy, I'll walk with you.

I'll be your bodyguard in case
an Ali Baba goes after your sweater.

Max sleeps with me.

And I sleep with him.

We have sex.

Yup.

Okay.

Have fun, or whatever.
That's okay.

- Bye, Papa.
- Give it your best.

- Okay, then.
- I'm going that way too.

We can pretend we don't know each other.

He's right.

We don't know each other.

What Anette said isn't true.

Just because there's a hole, it doesn't
mean something used to be there.

Aren't you scared I'll eat you up?

Eat all you want.

There won't be less of me.

I love you.

See, now I'm scared
it'll end the next minute.

You could just get up and go,
if you wanted to.

Yeah, but why not be together
a while before breaking up.

I don't want to if I have to
be alone again afterwards.

But the result is the same

if we're together and then break up,
or if we're not together.

You're alone either way.

But I'd be much more alone than
If I'd stayed alone from the start.

I just don't want
a real relationship with you.

You're too good for me.

Seriously, Max, I'm a mess.

A total mess.

Happy people aren't interesting, eh?

Nobody'll have me
because I'm okay with myself.

It stinks.

Normal is boring, right?

Of course.
Everybody's so crazy now, right?

You're not as special as you think.
We all have our problems.

Stay!

Don't leave me alone! Please!

It's just too much.

I can't do this.

I knew it! I knew it!

I knew you'd leave me!

It's no wonder...

'cause you're driving me away.

- Wait!
- You can't get me!

- I'll get you!
- No, you won't!

Got you!

Wait.

One-

two-three!

Can you climb up?

Come here.

Let's find your parents, cry-baby.

You pushed him away, you moron!

- Mama!
- Pull yourself together!

Nobody cares how you feel!

You're too heavy!

You're too much!

Okay, get down.

You're too heavy!
Get down, please!

You're hurting me!

He doesn't love me.

Wait, will you!

I can't go on like this.

And all of a sudden it was over.

But it wasn't like freedom.

It felt more like I'd lost something.

As if something had broken inside me.

It didn't hurt at all.

It was just gone.

When you let go of sadness,
you worry that the pain was all you had.

And you miss it.

I tried to do everything right.

Is it because I stopped taking my pills?

Why did you stop taking your pills?

Because I was okay.

Yes, but...

that's a sign that your pills
and your therapy were working.

I wanted to handle it by myself.

I don't want to end up like my mother,
taking pills my whole life.

I mean it's go to be possible
to function as a person without pills!

Take a look in the waiting room.
They all have nervous disorders.

If you're epileptic,
you don't try to cure yourself either.

You're ill.
Take the pills.

But I can't just keep taking them!
I'm scared it'll come back!

I'm scared when I should be feeling happy,

- and then I think...
- Stop it!

Stop what?

Thinking.

Don't think. Breathe.

Max, I'm so sorry.
I wish I could do it, really.

But if we were together
I'd get addicted to you.

And then I'd start hating you

because I couldn't stand
being without you.

Say something, please.

I can do this.

I know the pills will work.

So, no more fear.

Then I've got my mother,
and Anna and Max.

Even if he can't promise
he won't leave me.

Hi.

Hi.

Can we finally go to sleep?

Good night, Karo.

Good night, Karo.