Tom of Finland (2017) - full transcript

(in English) I don't wanna go.

You have to, you did this.

(lighter clicks)

And the rabbit?

We found him.

I didn't know it was lost again.

Yeah, it was hopping around
in the woods.

You shouldn't keep him in the closet.

(Sniggers)

He's too horny and hungry to stay there.

Hmm.



Good.

It's time.

(shouting in Finnish)

(shouting continues in distance)

-(in Finnish) That wasn't so bad.
- We'll wait for the next one.

- Goodbye, Laaksonen.
- Goodbye.

Good evening.

Come here.

(explosions, men shouting)

(man) Aircraft warning! Fire! 13:00.

(groans)

(explosions, men shouting)

Bomber, 30:00. Two guns. Fire!

(explosions)



(explosion)

(low chatter in Finnish and laughter)

Laaksonen.

Sir.

You can call me Heikki.

Touko Laaksonen. Touko.

Thank you.

Do you have dreams, Touko?

I don't know about that.

What would you like to do
when the war is over'?

I mean, besides
taking walks in the park.

Play the piano.

- And draw.
- An artist.

- Well...
- Louvre.

Laaksonen among the great masters there?

(they laugh)

No one from my hometown
has even been to Paris.

You'll have a big opening pally.
You'll invite me.

I'll tell everyone I know you.

You have to have dreams in life.

The Eastern Front is breaking down.
We'll be transferred there.

There are too many Russians.
Way too many.

(distant explosions rumble)

I'll tell the boys
they have to have dreams...

...and think about winning.

Well...

Sir. Heikki.

Huh!

You can keep it.

(Heikki) Let's go.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

I talked to my boss.

He promised you can give it a try
at our company.

- How come?
- I showed him your work.

That landscape you painted for Dad.

Your boss will change his mind
when he sees me.

C'mon. We need money.

Your veteran discount
isn't helping that much.

Do you even know how much
cheese costs on the black market?

Alrighty. You're feeling better, huh?

- You're looking like yourself again.
- Am I?

Well, at least you vaguely resemble
my brother.

(Sighs)

- I got a straight line.
- What straight line?

I marked the obituaries
of all my friends

who said they'd quit smoking.

Born in 1921, 1922, 1923, 1924, 1925.

Brother, dear, the war is over.

(urinates)

Huh!

(sound of aeropiane in distance)

Damn it, a Russky.

(stabbing sound)

(man groans)

(breathes deeply)

(gums)

(flies buzz)

(breathes rapidly)

(man screams)

(knocks at door)

Touko. Touko.

Shh.

I'm here. Everything OK.

Everything's OK.

Everything's OK.

Everything's OK. Everything's OK.

Why wouldn't everything be OK?

(she sighs)

Give it to me.

You have to find someone
you can share your life with.

Someone who'll look after you.
Someone special.

I had someone in the war.

Wow. What happened?

Well, what usually happens in war.

- From the women's auxiliary corps?
- No.

You're totally confused.

It's the war. It made you like that.
But it'll pass.

You just have to work and meet people.

A lot of girls would want
a handsome officer like you.

You got that medal
because you fought bravely, right?

- I guess so.
- Pull yourself together. Enjoy life.

Good night.

Good night.

(jazz music)

(cubicle door unlocks)

Hey!

He's a faggot!

Get out or I'll call the police!

You need to know how to behave here.

I'll ban you for a month. Minimum.

Ban me for life while you're at it.

Thanks, honey.

- What's your name?
- Nipa.

- You want to see something?
- I'd rather do something.

(both laugh nervously)

Wow.

May I keep this?

- Stop!
- Police!

- St0p!
- St0p!

Stop.

(they breathe heavily)

Police! Stop in the name of the law!

You, over there! Stop.

Police! I got one of them.

- Stay where you are.
- Police!

(repeated thuds)

(violent, tuneless pounding)

(Sighs)

- Who is this fellovw
- Good evening. What's happening?

We're clearing the park of criminals.

- Why do you have to do that?
- For the Olympics.

Are you interested
in javelin, pole-vaulting,

-or perhaps wrestling?
- Javelin.

Good. Then hurry up
before the spear throwers are here.

Yes, we'll do our best.

- And your name is?
- Get in the car.

Kake.

(laughs)

- Did you sleep well?
Fantastically. You?

Fantastically.
- Great.

All right, let's go.

Laaksonen,
I can't take this to a client.

Do something.

Excuse me.

Can you come with me?
It'll take just a moment.

Please sit on the couch.

Maria, could you come here for a moment?

A moment, please.

Uh...

Make eye contact.
No, not with me. With Maria.

Good. Pretend it's morning.

The first morning
after you've been... intimate.

Um...

Think about naughty things.

(they giggle)

That's it. Think about
what it feels like to touch each other.

That's it.
Gabriel, think a little harder.

(they giggle)

Touch her in a way that shows
the electricity between you.

Good.

- Guess what?
- What?

- The boss said he's happy with you.
- That's great.

- What are you doing?
- Working. Working.

I'm promoting the consumption
of useless things by unethical means.

Ha-ha. Let me see.

- No.
- Are you afraid I will laugh at you?

- No, no, no.
- I promise.

- Well?
- No, no.

What?

Sit down.

Sit!

No.

- C'mon. You have a beautiful face.
- No, I don't.

- Yes, you do.
- Hmm.

Stop.

- Well?
- All right.

(clears throat)

I don't know if I want to see it.

- I don't look like that.
- I think you do.

- I'm not that beautiful.
- Yes, you are.

Those legs.

You never learned how to draw legs.
Those look like sticks.

Let me show you how.
Give me that block.

Well?

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

(she laughs)

Be careful or you'll pop a vein.

- Ten seconds.
- No, no, no.

- One...
- No!

- Two, three, now.
- Now!

- You're unbelievably good.
- No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

I've been thinking that...

...some day I might like
to have my own exhibition.

- Why some day'? Why not tomorrow'?
- No.

How can you be an artist

-if nobody sees your work?
- Nobody wants to see it.

And look who's talking.
You won't even show yours to me.

(men laughing, water splashes)

(men shouting, dogs barking)

(in German) Passports, please!
Passports, please.

(in English) Passport, please.

(in German) Thank you.

(in English)
What were you doing in Denmark

and why are you coming to Germany?

Just for fun.

(in German) Fun.

(in English) Especially Germany is fun.

Open it, please.

Welcome to Berlin.

(in German and English)
Passport, please. Passport, please.

(in German) Hello, handsome.

-(woman) Don't go.
- You want something?

Are you lost?

How is the pheasant hunt going'?

(music and low chatter)

(in English)
Are you interested in buying art?

(in German) You might want to ask him.

-(in German) English or German?
-(in English) It depends.

You're into art?

Maybe. What do you have?

Countryside landscapes.

Well, I'm not so interested
in country...

I do run a gallery
which is interested in nature.

Can I see the originals?

(laughter)

My cock is the boss. I have to have
a hard-on, then I know it's good.

This is outstanding.
Have you published this in Finland?

It would be easier
to publish these in the Vatican.

(laughs) I'm sure
the big man would love these.

(they laugh)

(Sighs)

(in German then English)
Are you leaving?

(in English) Yes.

Sir, you need to pay for your room.

Yes, I'll arrange and come back and pay.

No, no, you have to pay first,
or I will call the police.

(in Finnish)
Name three streets that intersect

with Runeberginkatu Street in Helsinki.

Apollonkatu, Hesperiankatu
and Topeliuksenkatu Street.

You grew up in Kaarina.
Why don't you speak the dialect?

My parents were teachers.
This is how we spoke at home.

Why did you have a strange man
in your hotel room?

A man, you say, stole
your passport and wallet.

We talked about pheasant hunting.

Is this yours?

It was found in your room.

Well, I'll return to Finland.

Based on your answers,
I can't confirm you're Finnish.

In German eyes,
you're either a spy or a criminal.

But I know what you are.

I'll report to Consul Alijoki

that the man arrested
by the German police is not Finnish.

I'll let these gentlemen
interrogate you. That's it.

Heikki.

- What?
- Heikki Tapio Alijoki.

Captain Heikki Alijoki.

From the Helsinki Coastal Artillery,
during the war.

- What about him?
- I know him.

- May I speak to him?
- About what?

Pheasant hunting.

(in English) You know...

We used to put scum like you
into concentration camps

and gas them to death.

(door opens)

-(In Finnish) Do you know this man'?
- No.

I'm Lieutenant Laaksonen.

We fought together
in Téhtitorninméki Hill Park.

We had a number of close calls.

There were no battles
in Téhtitorninmäki Hill Park.

I meant the air battles over Helsinki.

We served together. I served under you.

I see. I see.

(in German)
Can we speak in private for a moment?

Of course.

(in Finnish) is this some trap?

- Are you trying to trap me?
- I'm the one who's trapped.

- How did you know I was here?
- I didn't.

Your name was mentioned.

I see. I see.

- We know each other. We're both--
- You can't say it.

We're both officers.

This is ridiculous.
Much ado about nothing.

You're asking for trouble
with pictures like these.

It's just a piece of paper.

A dirty picture someone drew for fun.

It's not just a piece of paper.

It's an atomic bomb.
You could go to prison for that.

The police will search your house

and interrogate your family
and colleagues.

I don't care what happens to me,
but my family...

- Can you help me?
- No.

How about you swear
on your officer's honour

that you've never done
anything dishonourable?

(in German) Gentlemen.

Laaksonen is a Finnish officer.

He would like to say something.

Yes. I would like to thank you.

And?

I haven't done anything wrong.

We always want to help Finland.

I consider this case closed.

Thank you.

(in Finnish) Mr Laaksonen,
my wife and I'd like to invite you

over for dinner in Helsinki some day.

- You're married?
- Of course I am.

But I do sometimes invite
special friends over to play poker...

...when I'm in Helsinki.

You could join us.

But you have to keep quiet about it.

- Artists are always welcome.
- Thank you.

My wife is actually very understanding.

Hi.

Did you have a good time in Berlin?
Did you bring me a gift?

The customs officials took it.

- What are you wearing?
- I have a new hobby.

- What?
- You told me to have fun and live.

Hmm...

Our new tenant is coming over.

A religious girl from the countryside?

Hmm...

(both laugh)

You don't have to stand up.
Touko Laaksonen, Kaija's brother.

Veli. My name is Veli Mäkinen.

You may also call me Nipa.

You have a beautiful apartment.

- Where did you find this?
- Our landlady is a war widow.

- We've met before.
- You're mistaken.

- Would you like to see your room?
- Yes. Please.

(hums tune)

(door closes)

(classical music)

(orchestra! music)

- Touko. You're here too?
- Yes. I like dancing.

- You like dancing?
- Yes. I have a season ticket.

- Don't you have a deadline tomorrow'?
- I finished the campaign already.

Oh. What's the slogan?

"Yum-yum, chocolate is delicious."

- It doesn't sound like you finished it.
- Well...

- Could you get us some champagne?
- Sure.

- Would you like a glass?
- Yes, please.

Your solo. I have to...

I forgot my wallet at home.

- How did you pay for the ticket?
- The season ticket!

Can you go get the champagne?
I'll pay you back.

- Sure.
- Thank you.

- We've met.
-If we have, I was drunk.

- Here we go.
- Thank you.

- Thank you for inviting me here.
- Thank you for coming.

- Cheers.
{both} Cheers.

My own projects rarely materialise.
Take my writings, for example.

All the publishers
refused to publish them.

- Finland is not ready.
- You know how it is in this country.

Jalle said to me it's a great thing
to be a good ad man.

And I am. And you, Touko,
also are a good ad man.

That's why you're our art director.

- Congratulations. I almost forgot.
- Thanks.

- Oh, you're interested in motorcycles?
- Yes.

I wish I could ride one like that.

- It would be great to go for a ride.
- Oh, yes.

Gentlemen, why don't we take a photo'?

- Work the camera.
- Grab the handle.

- Here?
- Yes.

Imagine it's the source of power.

jazz plays, he hums along)

(laughter)

Touko, join us!

- It's a children's game.
- In God's eyes, we are all children.

- C'mon, Touko.
- Touko, Touko, Touko!

- Are you a virgin?
- No.

(laughter)

Touko. Truth or dare?

- Choose truth.
- Truth.

Dare.

Kiss Heidi.

Kiss her!

(all) Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!

(laughter and cheering)

All right, I think it's my turn.

Whoa. It's pointing at Kaija.

Truth or dare?

- Truth.
- That is, dare. Uh...

- Kiss Heidi.
- Dear Touko, it's illegal.

C'mon, go ahead.

(laughter)

Almost, Kaija. Almost.

During the war,
there were blackouts in Helsinki.

You might be too young
to remember that.

There was electricity in the air.

Bombers flew over the city.
People met strangers.

It was so dark, we had to grope
each other to find out who was who.

(motor whirrs)

(motor whirrs)

- Hi, Dad.
- My son.

- Hi.
- Lovely to see you.

- Welcome.
- Nipa. Thank you.

Welcome.

Where's my godson, Aaro?
Have you eaten him?

- What?
- Come!

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight,

nine, ten.

Here I come!

(boy) I saw you!

I loved coming here as a child.

What did you do here?

I shined my boots.

In the old days, people believed

that if an unmarried woman rolled
in a hayfield on Midsummer Night,

she'd see her future husband
on the surface of a pond.

The hayfield on the island behind
us is a perfect place for that.

How do the midsummer
love spells work'?

On Midsummer Night, the
sun doesn't go down at all,

so men can't hide.
Your dad tried to hide...

I tried to hide?
Mom is pulling your leg.

I would destroy everything.
Your family and...

No, you wouldn't.

- I'm evil. I'm ruined.
- No, you're not.

(Nipa laughs)

(Nipa laughs)

(car horn)

All right. Good evening.

Touko.
Everyone should see your drawings.

-(man) Yes?
- Poker.

Hello.

(rock 'n 'roll music)

- He is handsome.
- And waiting for you. Go.

(music drowns out speech)

(music drowns out speech)

Honey.

Money.
{banging}

Honey. There's someone at the door.

Shit, it's the cops!

Get out from the balcony.
Take all the stuff with you.

- Heikki, let's go.
- No.

I'll stay and hold them off. You go.

- Go. Go.
- Police. Open the door!

It's...

(man) Open the door
or we'll break it down.

(banging)

Police! Open the door!

(banging)

(dog barks)

(dogs bark and snarl)

Hey! Not there. This way!

We should throw parties like that.

Kaija might find it hard to swallow.

I'd like us to have an apartment
together.

Big windows with light-yellow curtains.

Only sissies like yellow.

I'd like the curtains to be open
when we dance with friends.

- Where would we get the money for it?
- Sell your works.

- Where?
Internationally.

Internationally, maybe.
In Finland, never.

- We'll get an apartment.
- And throw my little sister out?

Yes, your little sister, who's only 30!

Don't build castles in the air.

I want you to hold my hand
in broad daylight.

I want the curtains to be open.

- Nice idea, but totally unrealistic.
- Wanna make a bet?

- For a bottle of whisky.
- Deal

- You practically lost already.
- You know what? You're a sissy.

What?

No wonder we lost the war with a faggot
like you running after the cannons.

I'm tired of fighting.
I fought my battles.

I'm no freedom fighter.

Oh, you're just a cock artist
who wants to fuck and have fun!

Only sissies like yellow.

They almost didn't let me in.

I told them I'm your brother.

The treatment here is good.

Great.

I need help.

You need help mixing gin and tonics.

- I can help you with that.
- You can also be cured.

Except that I'm not sick.
And you're not either.

I'll be cured, and we'll have children.

(man shouts)

(shouts, ducks quack)

Come with me. Let's get out of here.

Did you hear we started a club?

A motorcycle club.

Without motorcycles.

Touko. Thanks for coming.

But I want to be cured.

I lost my job. I don't want to lose
the rest of what I have.

Heikki.

Goodbye, my friend.

Lieutenant.

Captain.

I saw the article.

Poor Heikki.

What can we do?

-(man in English) First mail of the day.
- Thank you, Frank.

Tom...

This could be cover material.

We need something more. For a cover
artist, we need something more.

Tom...

Tom of...

Yeah, Tom of Finland.
How do you like that, Frank'?

Tom of Finland?

Tom of Sweden would sell more.

But it seems Finland has bigger cocks.

(man) Put the sports magazines
on the shelf.

(men grunt)

(metal clanks)

Hi, I'm Doug.

Hi, I am Doug.

(dance music)

Hi, I'm Doug.

So, uh, you married?

Would that turn you on?

(laughs nervously)

- I'm Jack.
- Great.

(yens)

Hi. Going south?

- To Tom.
- To Tom?

(in Finnish)
Hi. What terrible weather again.

You have mail from America.

Your work is on the cover again.

- There's also a letter from that Doug.
- Hmm.

Your number one fan...
What does he write?

They want me to travel there.

They want to have a small exhibition.
Or a couple of them.

He wants to help me.

- America?
- Yes.

(they laugh)

Congratulations.

Hmm!

(coughs quietly)

(bums)

(music plays)

You know what? I could fall in love
with a successful man like you.

Be careful. You might end up in trouble.

(buzzer)

- Kaija.
-ls dinner ready?

Not yet.

(buzzer)

- Good evening.
- Evening. I'm terribly hungry.

- You're always on time.
- Yeah.

I knew it. It's awfully messy here.

You're two dirty little boys.
Should I clean here real quick?

You should hire a cleaning lady.

- Are you having a party?
- You want a glass?

- It's not even six o'clock.
- It's good to be early, darling.

- What are you celebrating?
- Life. The joy of living.

And us going to America.

Oh?

That's none of my business.
It's your guy stuff.

(laughter)

- Here we go. A little dip?
- I don't know about that.

Oh, dear. I'm gonna pee my pants.

These are sexy.
You'll look good in these.

(Nipa coughs)

You should go see a doctor.

I already did. It'll go away.
Nothing to worry about.

- Was he sure?
- Oh, yes. Absolutely sure.

Conquer America for me.

- Which one?
- Pack both. Always take both.

(in English) I'm going to miss you.
Maybe. Just a little bit.

Me too. I'm going to miss you too.

(they laugh)

(in Finnish) Come with me.

Next time.

Next time.

- Welcome, sir.
- Thank you.

(disco music and men talking)

-(man in English) Hello.
- Hi.

- It's gotta be him.
- Tom!

- The man has arrived, everybody!
-(Tom) Hello.

- Tom of Finland.
- That's me.

I'm Doug. Of California.

- Nice to meet you.
- You too, finally.

I'm Jack. It's an honour.

You're gorgeous.

- Can I draw you?
- Draw me? Of course.

We all fixed a room for you upstairs
if you wanna go and take a nap.

- You "all"?
- Yeah, we.

These men are moved by you, Tom.
These are your men.

But first, relax.

And have some fun.

Then we fly to New York
and San Francisco.

New York and San Francisco...
OK. Thank you.

So what do you think of our condo? The
guys and I scraped some money together.

(Tom) I think the plane must've crashed.

(slap)

- Excuse me'?
- Can we help you, gentlemen?

Yeah, we're looking for a suspect who
just robbed a minimarket down on Sunset.

Was it him?

(laughter)

If you see anything, let us know.
We've got a car down the block.

Shall do. That's a mighty
nice uniform you're wearing, sir.

Thank you.

Excuse me... Smile.

-(man) You are hot!
- Thank you.

-(officer) Have a nice day.
- Have a nice day, boys!

(all) Whoo!

Welcome to California, Tom.

(man) Hey, Daddy!

Hey, boys!

Here's the owner, Steve. Meet Tom.

Sir, it's an honour.

- You're my biggest inspiration.
- Thank you.

Hey, good to see you. Come on in.

(chatter and music)

- Your work is great.
- Thank you.

(low chatter)

- I love your work very much.
- Thanks.

Great work, Tom.
Your cocks are beautiful.

- Gentlemen!
- Let's have a drink!

(loud electro music)

It's his specialty. Cocktails.

Guys come from all over the country to
fuck him. Look, he's gorgeous. Yeah!

Could you sign this for me, please?

What is it?

- Tom.
- I don't know.

- What are you doing?
- Just look at this. Look at this.

This was stolen from me in Germany.

- Look at the quality of this.
- It's a jerk-off book.

It works. You're a success.

Cheap ink on toilet paper.

If you can jerk off to this,
I'm happy for you.

C'mon.
Nobody cares. You're on the cover.

If nobody cares, I'll stop drawing.

Look, Tom.

When people come to the house,
they fled.

They fled home, they fled the school,
they fled being sick...

“Wrong...

...different.

Yeah.

In my town, they beat the shit
out of different people.

Put soap in socks and beat you up.

- No marks.
- No marks.

You make these different boys
feel special.

Beautiful.

The quality is still shit.

Then, Tom, you have to take control
of your own work.

C'mon. Let's make them jerk off
on good quality.

Can these three homos
get some more coffee, please?

So what are you going to do?
Sue me? We'd all be in jail.

But we're not.

We're here now,
and we'd like you to pay us our cut.

I suggest you guys...
had better take the whisky and go.

C'mon, you should be happy.

I found your images all over Europe,
Germany, Denmark, Sweden...

He's the hottest piece in gay porn.

- Thank you.
- Welcome.

Tom. Tom.

Mr Mannheim, Tom and I
would love to have whisky with you, sir.

- Yeah. Ice?
- Please.

You're going to publish a book
about his character Kake.

And you're gonna give us 2O per cent.

- You're telling me what to publish?
- Yes. We are.

(in Finnish) 16 marks, please.

Thank you.

Good evening.

(coughs)

- You still have that cough?
- Yeah.

- Kake made it to America.
- He sure did.

- Were there beautiful guys in America?
- Yup.

- The kind you always drew'? Your men'?
- Yes.

- You had many?
- A couple.

But none of them were

as smart and elegant and sexy

as this one dancer I know.

(coughs)

- Did everybody sweet-talk like you?
- Yes.

(laughs)

I'm ill.

The world's best doctors
are in Los Angeles.

For them,
throat cancer is like curing the flu.

We could get a house with a garden.
We could have parrots.

Parrots sound good.

It's always warm there.
And the sea is sparkling blue.

Almost everyone is like us
in California.

Sometimes heteros
are bullied and harassed,

and I have to intervene and say,
"They also have a right to exist

and live their life
the way they want to."

You're so noble.

Why didn't you tell me?

I didn't want you to see me dying.

There's nothing I want to see more
than... I mean...

(coughs)

That's OK.

(Nipa coughs)

- Let's make you underwear with this.
- This?

This might feel good.
At least you could see through it.

(Nipa laughs)

- Good evening.
- We'd like to have curtains made.

How long?

-2.70 metres?
-2.70 metres.

2.70 metres.

Only sissies like yellow.

(Nipa laughs)

Well, well.

- You owe me a bottle of whisky.
- Oh.

I owe you more than that.

Do you want me to sew rings on these?

- I do.
- You want these kinds of rings?

I do.

(Nipa)
Make sure everyone knows we exist.

Promise me?

(Tom) 1 do.

(Nip?!) Everyone.

(buzzer)

- You've started using the elevator.
- Nonsense.

Elevators are for old people.

- How have you been?
- Great.

I miss Nipa every day.

All right.

(Tom) Show me your new ones.

I don't know if these are any good.

You'll find out soon.

Here.

- You've made tremendous progress.
- Have I?

You have.

This is good.

This is my favourite.

- Have an exhibition.
- No.

They're horrible. Nonsense.

They are. Look at them.
You're just saying they're good.

We never became real artists.
You and me.

- We didn't?
Apparently not.

Shall we clean here'?
You're not throwing this away, are you'?

Nipa loved this book.

I think it's my turn.

I see.

People appreciate me.

- Where are you showing these?
- Around the world.

- These dick drawings?
- People like them.

Huh...

Right.

I'm glad you use that funny pseudonym,

so that you don't stain
our family's reputation.

Dirty, cheap sex magazines.

Where's the vacuum cleaner?

You could've signed
my exhibition guestbook.

-(phone rings)
- Kaija, the phone.

Uh-huh.

Touko Laaksonen.

Should I cook something for you?

I'm on the phone.

(in English) Sorry, can you wait?

(in Finnish)
You don't have to. I'll eat out.

They're calling from America.

(in English) So, hello, Doug.

How did she take it?
Did you show them?

I think she's trying
to poison me with her cooking.

Tom, we have a problem.

They're blaming our people
for the virus.

Why?

Because our people are dying from it.

And they think
your drawings are dangerous.

We're not even getting printed.

(in Finnish)
We're going to lose this war.

We're going to die.

Right, sir?

Jalonen.

You're a tenor, right?

Lahtinen, you're also a tenor, right?

- You're a bass, right?
- Yes, sir.

♪ Hear our song echoing I

♪ Hear the kantele beckoning I

♪ This is Finland's song ♪

♪ This is Finland's song ♪

♪ Listen to the pine trees sighing I

♪ Listen to the white waters roaring I

♪ This is Finland's song ♪

♪ This is Finland's song ♪

(man on TV, in English) There,
I said it. They're all paedophiles.

Here's what the Bible says,
with Leviticus 20:13:

“if a man also lieth with mankind

as he lieth with a woman,"

it says, “Even both of them
have committed an abomination.“

"They shall surely be put to death,
and their blood shall be upon them. "

That, my friends, is the cure for AIDS.

(yelling)

(man rants) You are going to go to hell
because of your sodomy!

We're going to hell.
You wanna come along?

Excuse me, where are you going?

To see my friend, my brother...

- His brother.
- My niece.

- Our brother, together.
- Nephew.

And what are you hiding
under your jacket?

Love.

Uh-huh...

You can't bring animals in here,
this is the isolation ward.

Ma'am, this is a very deadly animal.

C'mon.

Two of you can go.
And the other two need to go to...

Don't let the doctors see you!
You need to go to the cafeteria--

And wear gloves and a mask.

- Hey.
- How's it going?

Here you go.

He reminded me of you.

He's just like you. He...

He also likes to fuck.

(they all laugh)

Thanks, Tom.

I want you to draw me one more time.

- I can't.
- He...

He hasn't been drawing much lately.

Why not?

I caused all this.

You gave me life.

You showed me love.

Wouldn't change a thing.

- You sure?
Positive.

Hey, you really are.

(shocked laughter)

Oh, hey... No, no, no!

(nurse) What's going on in here?

(music drowns out speech)

(Plays piano)

(stops abruptly)

(Tom) Pm so sick
of people dying all the time.

I shouldn't stop.

It's just a fucking virus.

I'm going to draw something to publish.

About life.
Something that would make people happy.

(man) Hello, gentlemen.

- Can I help you?
- Maybe.

Please.

We have something
we'd like you to print.

Ay, ay, av!

Ay, ay, av!

Sir, we're here to do business.

Why did you come to me?

We were turned down
by the other printing houses.

- In Santa Monica?
- In all of LA.

Alphabetically.
-(man) I see.

You might go to prison for this.

- Aren't you afraid?
- Mr Zagat...

I fought Stalin's army with a knife.

(laughs)

But as you see,
my business is primarily religious.

This is sacred to me.

But it is only me and my daughter.

I can't print and bind 10,000 books
just like that.

(Tom) I once promised a friend of mine
to let you know one thing.

We are the children
of beautiful Mother Nature.

(cheering)

But who let the rabbit out?

(they laugh)

(door opens)

-(man over microphone) Orgy lovers...
-(man) It's time.

(man over microphone)
Cock suckers, ass fuckers...

...bears, femmes...

...old couples, young men...

...horny as he...

(cheering)

Straight and gay.

A?! yearning to Jove.

(thumping dance music)

(cheering)

(Tom) Who can be a Tom's man?

Anyone can be a Tom's man.

The inspiring Mr Touko Laaksonen,
Tom of Finland!

(cheering)

Hello, boys.

(cheering)