To Plant a Flag (2018) - full transcript

In preparation for the moon landing in 1969, NASA sent a team of astronaut to the lunar landscapes of Iceland. Their hi-tech training mission soon discovers what obstacles one can meet when facing an Icelandic sheep farmer.

How come oyu never talk about your father?

Cause I got nothing to say.

Were you close?

No, not really.

Hey, look, is that a crater?

I don't know.

Think we should check it out?

Maybe later.

Let's finish the mission first.

You have hte coordinates?

Yeah.



Okay, double check with base, just to be safe.

I don't want to plant it in the wrong place again.

Buggy one to base...

Base to buggy one.

We read you.

Could you confirm mission coordinates, again?

Affirmative.

6-4-9-3-1 North.

Dash 1-9-0-2-0-8 West.

Get the flag in the ground and return to base, guys.

Thank you, Houston.

Don't call us "houston", please.

Hey, did you get anywhere with Tuba, last night?

First-and-a-half base.; she's having me over for dinner tonight.



She's making sheepshead stew.

Sheepshead stew?

Looks like we got some guys up here.

See this?

Move! Move!

Buggy one to base.

We seem to have a problem.

What's the problem?

Aliens, sir.

Stop screwing around and continue with the mission, please.

Roger that, Houston.

Come on!

This way, this way!

Go! Ho!

I'm sorry!

Lenny.

Lenny.

Sorry.

I'm sorry!

Okay, we got it.

You in?

You giving him the finger?

We're supposed to befriend the locals, not alienate them.

Hey, what more besides sheepshead is she gonna make you?

I don't know. It's a stew.

They chop everything up, and then they throw it in the pot together with the head and then you eat it.

They probably have like potatoes and veggies on the side.

I don't know. It's a stew.

Alright. Houston...

we are planting the flag...

So, just get the flag in the ground. Okay, fellas?

Houston, the flag is planted.

Once again, we are not Houston.

Roger that....

Houston.

He's watching us.

Who is?

The farmer.

Why?

I don't know.

Alright...

Well, whatever.

Let's go use the rock-claw.

Get some samples.

I think I'd have a hard time eating sheepshead stew.

I don't think you eat the sheepshead. I think you eat the broth around it.

-Ohhh....
-I'm guessing.

Right, right, right.

Buggy one to base.

This is base.

Base, what do you have on sheepshead stew?

Nah...it's disgusting.

Keep an eyeball at the teeth.

The whole deal.

Actually, my wife is Armenian.
They make a hseepshead stew.

It's called Ka-ash.

Really?

All the herding cultures have sheepshead stew.

How long were you together before she introduced you to that stew?

It was immediate. First time I met her folks...

-Roger that. Thank you, Houston.
-Thank you

Don't call us Houston. We're not Houston.

What am I supposed to do? She invited me over for this...

delicacy?

I couldn't do it.

Well, what am I gonna do...

I can't do it, but I'm gonna be hip at the eyeballs and teeth.

How do I not eat the eyeball?

Can't eat around it, it's soaking in it. All the juices, it's disgusting.

Our most disgusting is a hamburger, ya know?

With cheese, but that's delicious.

Hey..

It's gone.

it's gone.

Is this the right ridge?

I'm positive this is it. It was right here.

It blew away.

It didn't blow away. I had it in too good.

It wasn't going anywhere.

He stole it.

...no....

Yeah...he stole our flag.

What's he looking like that for?

I can't see him from here...my eyes are really bad.

He's got a real...

mean-looking face.

You can see his face?

-I can see his face. You can't see his face?
-It just looks like a shape.

Alright, let's go.

Alright, just follow my lead. I'll be alpha-dog.

I know what I'm doing here.

Now what?

We knock on the door.

-You sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.

We'll get our flag back.

Don't get cold feet.

Careful, there's dog shit here.

What?

What?

-You say something?
-I said nothing.

Maybe he's not here.

He's here. I'm hearing somebody move.

Hello?

Sorry about the door.

That was a mistake.

But, uh...we're gonna need our flag back now.

What flag?

We know you were watching.

I know you know what I'm talking about.

I haven't seen any flag.

The flag is U.S. property.

It's an offense to steal from the U.S. government.

-This is Iceland.
-You don't think I know that?

That flag belongs to teh United States Govrnment.

And we intend to get it back.

We jsut want the flag back and we'll go about our way.

Is this about money?

Did you see that?

I just watched the whole thing happen.

-He slammed the door right in my face.
-I watched him slam the door right in your face.

You wanna knock again?

Waht do I say when he opens the door?

Buggy one, this is base. Is there a problem?

Uh, sorry, Houston there seems to be a ....

We're not Houston.

I have an idea.

Okay.

Come with me.

no, no...someone has to watch the buggy.

You see anything?

No.

He's probably hiding the flag somewhere.

Call for back up.

We're already out here.

Let's take the buggy back to base.

The mission's completed.

The missions's not completed.

It is completed.

-The mission's not completed.
-The mission was to plant a flag, which we did.

-Let's go back.
-The mission....

was to plant a flag and leave it there.

It was not to plant a flag, get it stolen....

ask for it back, have a door slammed in our faces....

and scurry away.

-This is getting personal for you.
-It's not getting personal. It's a mission.

If we take the flag, hen we have to replant it.

-Fine we replant oit.
-But then he can retake it.

We're not going to plant it in the same exact place.

-Oh.
-We'll just go a little further up.

This isn't a rescue operation.

We have more flags back at base.

come back and plant another one.

So, if we were on the moon....

And we planted a flag and it disappeared...

do you feel victorious?

Look, i don't like the idea.

Okay. Well, what I wouldn't do....

is put a pitchfork at an alien's neck.

Neither am I. I'm gonna barter with him.

I don't wanna barter with him and use as like
a threat to tool.

It's not a threatening tool. Listen to what I'm saying.

We take this. We go in the moon buggy with it.

He looks out the window.....cause I know
you're watching us, right now, sir!

and I am going to take this.

m-hm. Keep going. I like it.

I get in the moon buggy with this.
We start to go.

He runs out. He goes: Hey! I need that!

I go: Oh, you do?
I don't know what you're talking about.

When he says, "That's my pitchfork."
We say, "What pitchfork?"

Right? I mean, it's pretty basic, but I think it works.

But if you get dirty, let's get filthy.

He deserves it.

Well where the fuck is it?

No way!

Sir!

You see it?

Shouldn't have given him the finger, John.

Do not! Do not blame me!

Do not make this about me!

-It has nothing to do with...
-I'm just saying.

Just saying what?

I'm jsut saying you shouldn't have given
him the goddammned finger.

He stole the moon buggy and he stole our flag.

Alright.
I think it's your fault he stole the flag.

and I think it's your fault...

-that I got out of the moon bu...
-Do me a favor and stop talking.

I don't mean that disrespectfully.

What did you jsut say?

I said 'I'd love to'...

without sound.

I said, please don't talk right now, let me think...

-And you went like this...
-I said, okay
No, said, "okay".

I don't wanna fight. Just please let me think.

How far are we from base?

I don't know. The coordinates are all in the buggy.

How long does it take?

I don't know. The coordinates are all in the buggy!

You run the fucking coordinates!

If I had to guess, I'd say an hour's drive.

Five hours by foot.

Three without the suits.

No...

We sit here. We wait.

Houston knows where we are.

Base will find us eventually.

What time is it?

What dos it matter?

I don't know.

I have to try to get back in time.

This is humiliating.

Are you cracking your knuckles?

No. I'm scratching a callus.

I do it when I'm nervous.

My mom does that.

We're this way.

You sure it's not this way?

Altight.

No, I understand. But that's what's exciting about it.

Uh...I think....

look the first time we saw her in that bar...

We were both taken....

You were? I didn't know that you were taken.

I've told you how pretty she is.

-No, taken is diff...
-Not taken like I'm....

-Look.
-well, she's taken, now.

I'm not going after your woman, man.

She's not my woman, I guess.

-I think she...
-Really?

You don't think so?

You think "Tuba Walker" sounds nice?

Tuba Walker.

-That's pretty good.
-That's pretty good, actually.

Tuba Walker.