Tito and Me (1992) - full transcript

I love my house.

It consists of one room...

that belongs only
to me and my parents...

of another one which is...

unfortunately occupied by
my aunt, my uncle...

and my hideous cousin, Svetlana.

The antechamber
is the most beautiful room...

of the whole flat.

This is where
my grandmother lives.

Everyone goes in and out...

slamming doors
and stamping their feet.



Unfortunately
she sleeps lightly...

and jumps at
the slightest noise.

It is you, Zoran.

It is in the living room...

that Grandma
keeps her sewing machine...

the dowry for
her marriage with Him.

She only talks about Grandfather
in terms of pronouns.

The bathroom, the toilet,
the larder...

and the kitchen
are common rooms.

We use them in turns.

The kitchen is my favorite.

When cakes are being baked
for different holidays...

Grandma always lets me lick
the bowls and casseroles.

My parents are artists.



My mother is a ballerina
and practices in the theater...

whereas my father
has to practice in our room...

the only living space we have.

You're driving us mad!

Aren't you ready?

What?

Slut.

With such a mother...

Considering her job...

A permanent tension reigns
between the two families.

According to Dad,
there is no such a conflict...

that can't be resolved
in a polite manner.

- Come out.
- Why?

To tell me what it is you object
to my wife's behavior.

Leave us in peace!

What's wrong
with being a ballerina?

Bunch of primitive
and insolent idiots!

Insolent?

The kid is looking at you!

Enough.

Help me in the kitchen.

After this quite usual row...

they spent the whole afternoon
frying peppers...

as if nothing
had happened at all.

But Daddy,
completely disgusted...

took the clarinet away with him,
to never bring it back again.

Hello, dear.

However, one member
of our family lives all alone.

Grandfather
has never lived with us...

because Grandma had
thrown him out before the war.

Is your father in?

And your mother?

How's school?

Grandpa comes around often,
always about noon.

At lunchtime, as it happens!

Me first.

No, me. I am more important!

You are as fresh
as a French maid.

He doesn't even
buy his own paper.

Our meals are financed
by Grandma.

The money comes from
the inheritance...

her father had left her.

She's doesn't really mean it.

It is with great sadness
that Grandma...

recalls the last words
of her father...

"This is something
you can live on...

"when that yobbo leaves you. "

Enjoy your meal.

Zoran...

don't eat so quickly.

I have always been plump.

Grandma says "rounded"...

and my cousin Svetlana,
naturally, "fatty," "obese. "

Once she used an expression...

she couldn't have
invented herself...

You are a fat "degenerate"!

Mummy, he's broken our jam jar!

My uncle said the same thing...

when he caught me
eating the wall.

I couldn't explain that
irresistible urge to taste it.

He was the only one
to have noticed the holes.

He is also very fascinated
by weird phenomena.

Thus that word slipped out.

You are not...
You are a degenerate!

According to my uncle, the loo
is the "crisis generator. "

Will you ever learn to air?

Why don't you
ever close the door?

This uncle's thought
could be explained...

by the fact that one
has to pass through the loo...

to get into the bathroom
and vice-versa.

It's nothing.

Who's used the hot water?

Zoran, is it you in there?

Mum and her colleagues often
dance for Comrade Tito...

during his hunting balls.

As a sign of gratitude,
he offers them the game.

- What?
- Over there!

- Calm down!
- Over there!

For goodness sake! What?

Delicious.

Venison has
a rather disgusting taste...

but we all pretend
to savor it...

since it can only be seen
in movies...

and on the tables
of grand seigneurs.

In order to forget
what I'm eating...

I imagine Comrade Tito facing up
all these wild beasts.

What is Comrade Tito like?

I wouldn't really know.

First of all, they search you
from top to bottom.

- Is that so?
- Yes, Vlado.

Then they don't take
their eyes off us...

with their fingers
on the triggers.

Or in the nose.

In the end, he is literally
invaded by his ass-lickers.

We are eating!

Are the communists
fighting over the feast?

Daddy!

Then some guy with a mustache
from the Protocol Office...

gives away the catch...

after Tito's picture
has been taken...

in the middle of his game.

So finally we get it all...
us, the staff...

not to waste anything.

Yes, his working class.

Stop elbowing me.

Summertime in Belgrade
is beautiful.

We go to
the "Students' beach"...

the Army swimming pool...

but it is no good there because
the soldiers piss in it...

and we also have the Danube.

Do you need help?

No. Enjoy yourselves.

Has your father
always been working here?

No. Only since
he got out of jail.

The Central Prison?

No. A clink somewhere at sea.

What is your vocation?

History of Art.

You know what that is?

Why don't you do your job, then?

He knows why.

Who, God?

You know God doesn't exist,
do you?

In this country, there is
someone more important than God.

Do you understand?

You will one day.

Maybe.

We always sneak in the cinemas.

I like to sit in the back...

on my own, to get away.

The masses have gathered
to greet Marshal Tito.

He seems very pleased
with the joyous acclamations.

Who was that?

Not us!

Let's get out. The film is shit!

No foreign delegation...

has ever been
greeted so warmly...

as was Marshal Tito
and his delegation.

At this moment,
Marshal Tito marches past...

the National Guard, accompanied
by the regimental band.

Tito's Blue Train
comes into sight.

The colors of Yugoslavia...

and the small flags leap out...

You are nothing but
a bunch of dirty communists.

What?

Why is Zoran
gluing Tito's picture, then?

Answer! Look up!

What are we?

Dirty communists.

And you, you are a bunch of
dirty capitalists.

Now go and repeat it.

She slapped me!

- Who?
- Auntie!

On the head?

Don't you ever touch
my little girl again!

And you, knock before entering!

Love is the most complicated
thing in the world.

It creates a lot of problems
for the grownups.

Like when Daddy was hired
as a repetiteur...

by Matilda,
the diva with the big tits.

Mirjana, no!

Matilda's ears
kept buzzing for six days...

the premiere of the
"Queen of Spade" was canceled...

and Daddy was sacked
on the spot.

Then he had to work as
a saxophonist in a night bar.

Auntie says, considering
the number of whores involved...

there is no difference...

between the National Theater
and that bar.

That is why Mummy
waits for Daddy every night...

and they come home
later and later.

Who knows what
you're doing in that dump...

with all those whores!

And a singer again!

She has no voice at all!

So?

Isn't it obvious?

It is a love letter.

Right?

So what?

What do you mean, "so what"?

Tell me, what does it prove?

I don't make this dancer
write to me.

Nothing has happened between us.

He wants nothing in return.

Do you know how many letters
I've received?

Ten, fifteen letters!

And I've kept only this one!

Do you know why?

Silence!

Because it is nice!

Come on, you are overdoing it!

Have you seen the time?

We can never sleep in peace!

Don't touch me. Don't touch me.

You know that I love you.

Of course I do.

Love creates a variety...

of insoluble problems
for the grownups.

It's not any simpler
with the younger ones.

I realized that
the day I met Jasna.

Thank you. Good-bye.

My pleasure.

See you tomorrow.

There's no need
to walk me back any longer.

Why?

Because you are younger
and shorter than me.

It is not true!

Only since Christmas
I've gained four centimeters.

Christmas!

You go talking about
the joy of a happy family again.

The problem is not my size...

but the fact that
Jasna is a war orphan.

Her parents died
during the war...

and she lives in an orphanage.

Children...

the life of young Tito
wasn't easy at all.

He had to get up very early
and go to bed very late.

The young Tito had
to take the cows to pasture...

and a horse
by the name of Pootko.

I quote Comrade Tito...

What are you staring at?

I quote...

"... Pootko obeyed only me. "

In those days, no money,
and therefore no trousers.

But it didn't bother young Tito
to play without any trousers on.

He had three favorite games.

Here's one of them.

Zoran!
Do you want me to throw you out?

The father of my friend Djura
is in the police...

and he keeps a gun behind
each and every radiator...

of their flat.

You are going out on a mission?
This late?

Get off my back.
You know I can't talk about it.

Of course!

I do know where you are off to!

Why are you
taking the gun with you?

To chase the bandits.

Or someone else.

Do you know who will pass by
the neighborhood tomorrow?

The Emperor.

Who?

The Emperor of Ethiopia!

So what?

And who is going to be with him
in his limousine?

The Marshal in person!

I couldn't fall asleep
that night.

I had to snatch
this opportunity.

I was worried because
Djura's father had said...

a huge crowd will come
to greet Comrade Tito.

If we don't take into
consideration our local loony...

there wasn't a single soul
on the streets.

Hey, kiddy!

Some cutie!

Where are you going so late?

To wait for Comrade Tito.

Tito? Really?

That's a good boy.

He's back!

Silence!

Bumming around?

Where were you?

By the bridge, around the port,
and at the market.

What were you
doing there all night?

I was waiting for Comrade Tito.

Who?

Comrade Tito.

He was to pass by the
neighborhood with the Emperor...

so I wanted to get myself
a good place.

Have you seen
Comrade Tito's big ring?

It is a wedding ring.
It means that he is married.

Do all married people
have to wear one?

No. Only those who want to show
their attachment to someone.

See you tomorrow.

There's no need
to walk me back any longer.

Why?

I shall be leaving soon.

Where are you going?

On a "March Around
Tito's Homeland. "

For how long?

A fortnight.

What?

Why are you not eating
your doughnuts?

I can't, thank you.

Those are your favorite, though.

He's even refusing
his doughnuts.

Is he feeling all right?

It is love that torments him.

The name of
his sweetheart is Jasna.

She's pubescent.

It is not
the sort of thing one says.

She's got tits!

What did you say?

Where do we register
for that March?

It is not that easy.

You think that anyone can go?

How to become
a member of the elite?

Quite simple.

The best amongst the best
pioneers will be chosen.

Thank you.

When do I see you again?

Sorry, but this trip
will take up all my time.

We'd better break up now.

What?

I won't forget you.

Good-bye.

What is that?

Would you keep it for me
for a while?

Children. Composition.

Djura, hand out the notebooks.

Silence!

That was all I needed!

I could never get more
than a "C"...

and according to my teacher...

I am only good
at scribbling nonsense.

But suddenly a miracle occurred.

"The providence,"
Grandma would say.

The author of the best
composition on the topic...

"Do You Love Comrade Tito
and Why?"...

will represent our school...

on the
"March Around Tito's Homeland. "

The winner will be chosen by
a special jury...

composed of our famous writers.

On you go!

Djura, don't copy. I see you.

What's wrong?

Nothing, teacher.

Are you not feeling well?

No, I am concentrating.

Come on, finish up.

Five minutes left.

Finished!

Hurry up!

Just a stanza.

A stanza?

Time's up.

Finished.

Zoran hasn't touched
his rice pudding.

So what? It won't hurt him
to lose some weight.

Do you want some pancakes?

No!

It's all right now.

Make that paranoid shut up!

What's a paranoid?

It's nothing.
You were having bad dreams.

Go back to sleep.

Dear children...

Today I am happy.

Zoran, come to the blackboard.

Your friend Zoran...

our little Zoran...

has won the competition
for the best composition...

on the topic
"Do You Love Tito and Why?"...

and he will represent
our school...

on the
"March Around Tito's Homeland. "

Moreover, Zoran's
very beautiful poem...

is the best composition
of all the prize winners.

It means that
Zoran has written...

the best composition
in Belgrade.

I'll ask Zoran
kindly to read his poem.

"You ask me do I love Tito?"

Stop.

That's not
the way to read a poem.

"You ask me do I love Tito?
It is a superfluous question.

"Everybody adores Tito...
the Chinese and the Spaniards...

"the Indians and the Blacks...

"all the children of our planet.

"The soldiers
only think of Him...

"the shepherd
when he plays his flute...

"the grass sees Him
when it grows...

"the little cows
when they browse...

"the world
thinks highly of Him...

"the swallows only sing for Him.

"And when I feel blue...

"I go to bed late at night...

"and I close my eyes tight...

"If someone asked me
who I love best...

"I'd say I love Tito
more than Mum and Dad. "

Now we are finished for good!

FREUD...
"PSYCHOPATHOLOGY"

Turn that light off.

I won't be able to get up
in the morning.

I am very worried about Zoran.

Come on, he wrote it for fun.

You know, it can happen
from a very young age.

If we don't intervene now,
it might be too late afterwards.

Are you sleeping?

Sea.

Boat.

White.

Black.

Good.

And now... woman.

Port.

Port?

Is it the first thing
that crosses your mind?

Yes.

Love.

Wait a second.

Answer straightaway. Love.

Orphanage.

Are you sure?

Or Tito's Homeland.

It's either one or the other.
Choose.

I don't know. Both.

Have you noticed
that boys write...

the names of their sweethearts
on the walls?

Is there anybody...

you couldn't live without?

If there is such a person...

and if you really love her...

why don't you write her name?

ZORAN LOVES...

...TITO.

Stand up.

Yes!

Move your fringe.

You are from the Orphanage?

You have all the gear?

Yes, Comrade Raja.

Good. Sit down.

No need to bray like an ass.

Not an ass, but a kangaroo.

Who said that?

Kangaroo is his nickname.

As from now,
and to the end of the March...

no one is to speak
without authorization.

Understood?

No, no. All together.

- Understood?
- Understood!

It's me.

Is that so?

What are your parents,
chubby cheeks?

They are artists.

One needs artists, too.

Those who are not ready to put
in their biggest efforts...

drop out now.

Don't go moaning later
like some sis... sis...

Sissy!

Yes, comrade pioneers,
like a sissy!

Because the enemy
is lurking everywhere.

We have to be on the alert.

What will happen
if he infiltrates our ranks?

We'd be finished.

Sit down.

There is a song
you have to learn by heart...

since you'll often sing it.

Three, four...

Pretty, pretty is your country

Pretty your country

And the white city
of Zagreb in it

The artists are being late.

Your kid is going away.

What can I do?

Where do you think
you are going?

To find the kid a place.

He's mine now.

Let me introduce Zoran.

There's no room.

All the seats are taken.

Take this thermos!

I can't.

Dress warmly!

The letter is stamped.
Just post it.

Don't mess around with girls.

Look at you.

Everything
is going to be just fine.

Don't worry.

Off we go.

The cheese, the butter,
the milk, and the eggs

The milk and the eggs, all goes
to the white city of Zagreb

All goes to
the white city of Zagreb

I'd prefer the white
if you have any.

I have cream puffs.

You like that?

Of course,
it's what I like most.

Even though she was
the only one to be kind to me...

she was incredibly
getting on my nerves.

Hardly begun and you are
already stuffing yourself.

Lights out.

Are you sure
you don't want any cream puffs?

Go on. Get out.

It's not a game for kids.

Do you hear me?

ZAGREB-CENTRAL STATION

What the hell
are you doing here?

Out.

After this long
and exhausting trip...

educational above all...

here we are
in the friendly city of Zagreb!

- Guess where I spent the night?
- Stop it, please.

Are you cross with me?

No. I just want
to listen to him.

At this very moment...

now that we have set foot
on this soil...

that wishes us
a hearty welcome...

we can already
smell the perfume...

of Kumrovec, Tito's hometown.

We shall build up an inseparable
friendship with our host.

We would like to thank Zagreb,
the best friend of Belgrade...

for its warm welcome that shall
stay engraved in our hearts...

as an indestructible proof of
friendship between our people.

You deliberately want
to put the shame on us?

Fall in!

Comrades pioneers!

This soil has given birth to
the greatest son of our country.

What is this fool talking about?

A man without whom,
we wouldn't be anything.

What a fucking bore!

What?

Over there!

Silence in the ranks!

Stop dawdling!

Hurry up, fatso!

It is the last tram station
in Zagreb...

that Tito's Homeland
was beginning.

In other words, the terrain
to be conquered by foot.

On top of all that,
Comrade Raja announced...

that we won't follow the road...

but the trails of
the comrades partisans...

using natural signs.

Over there!

Over there!

It means that we were to climb
the steepest slopes...

since the comrades partisans...

loved passing
through shitty places.

How come you're here?

- Which way did you go?
- We took the same trail.

They are lying!
They took the road!

Has anyone else seen them?

On your feet!

I had a walking problem
because I was the shortest...

and I definitely
had the biggest bag...

and an itchy rash
had started between my legs.

That's the Medvednica.

We shall spend the night...

at the foot of the mountain,
and we'll climb tomorrow.

Comrades pioneers, let's sing!

Then something weird happened.

Just the thought that once
at the foot of the mountain...

we might stop marching
and be allowed to drink water...

gave me new strength...

and made me forget the rash
between my legs.

But the others,
taking it as a challenge...

started racing me.

You didn't think of arriving
before me?

Are you nuts or what?

Comrades pioneers!

As of today, we shall all be
choosing the best amongst you...

whom we shall invest with
the privilege to raise the flag.

Today, the person
who has deserved this honor...

by his assiduous work, is...

Sinisa Karahmemetovic!

Please.

Congratulations.

Three, four.

Slavic people, you're the alive
spirit of our grandfathers

While our hearts are filled with
the sacred love of our people

Live, live, Slavic spirit,
you will live forever

Threats of hell
and of destruction are in vain

Sorry, I can't see a thing.

Kangaroo's designation
as hero of the day...

was so unfair
that I didn't sleep a wink...

all that first night
in Tito's Homeland.

Need help?

Mind your own business!

Stop there! Who is it?

It's me.

Password!

It's me, Zoran!

And I am the guard!

Piss off!

Come on, let's go!

Get moving!

My rash was getting
more and more painful.

But I didn't know
how to soothe it.

Where are you?

Comrade Raja!

Jasna!

Have another one!

He told you that he was
going to rest a while...

and catch up with us later?

No, he showed it.

How?

Like this!

Didn't he, by any chance, say...

No, like this.

You...

You!

You are volunteers!

You are in charge of the camp!

Is that clear?

Where are we going?

To find him, you idiot!

We've been looking for you
six hours and seventeen minutes.

You'll pay for this!

We shall spend the night here.

In this castle?

Is it not good enough for you?

It is here that
the grand seigneurs lived...

at the expense of poor people.

Do you have some cologne?

Yes, what for?

I've cut myself.
For disinfection.

What about me disinfecting you!

It is a ghost!

The howling came from there!

It smells like perfume.

Perfume? Here?
Don't be ridiculous!

They say there are ghosts...

- Who's "they"?
- I don't know.

You must know!

The children say...

The children?

I'll show them some ghosts!

Let me stay!
I am so scared!

I am the ghost...

It's me, Comrade Raja!

My name is Franja!

I died 200 years ago!

It is a ghost!

Jesus!

What have you done?

It's not me, it's them.

But who?

Them, the ghosts.

Let me explain, it was a game.

To free the children
from their fears.

You have destroyed a collection
of inestimable value!

It's because
of the superstitions.

To cut them short.

Someone is going
to pay for this!

Watch out, fatso!

You know what's happening?

The agents are yelling,
and he keeps replying:

"Yes, I understand, it's my
fault, it won't happen again. "

If there was Law and Order
in this country...

that madman wouldn't be
walking around free!

Shut up, fathead, if you think
of keeping your balls!

Slow down.

I haven't asked you anything!

We are thirsty.

So am I!

Why can't we rest a bit?

Ask the sneak among you!

Who shall I ask?

How would I know?

Traitor, shame on you!

Why? I haven't done anything.

Haven't done anything?

You've denounced Comrade Raja
to that fascist.

What fascist?

You know perfectly well.
The old conservator.

I couldn't know he is a fascist.

The castle is called after him.
Doesn't it ring a bell?

How could I know it was
Comrade Raja under the sheet?

Don't play the innocent with me!

It's finished between us.
I'm breaking up with you.

We have finally reached the last
stop before Tito's Hometown.

Instead of enjoying the delights
of hot water...

a real bed and homemade food...

I couldn't stop thinking...

all that happened to me
was a punishment from God.

I was paying for all
my impious words and actions...

for all the coarse words...

I used to say with my friends...

every time we'd seen a priest...

and for the money
I had nicked in the church...

to see the latest "Tarzan"...

the one where Jane
shows her tits.

By punishing me,
God proves He exists...

and that He hasn't
forgotten my sins.

Now He is letting me know
that He would take...

even more rigorous measures.

Then I had a salutary idea.

CHARITY FOR THE CHURCH

The money
Grandma had sewn in my vest...

could replace the stolen packet
from the church.

But would the Catholic God
truly give...

that money back
to our Orthodox God?

After your prayer,
be so kind to come to the hotel.

Let's start.

Comrades pioneers!

Let us hear how some of you
see Tito's Homeland:

"Dear Mum and Dad...

"Grandma and Grandpa,
Auntie and Uncle and so on"...

"Everything would have been
fine, had I not got lost...

"and spent the whole night in
the mountain, all by myself...

"because of the rash
on my buttocks!"

You think it's funny?

It is sad!

Tragic!

These are not the words
worthy of a pioneer of Tito...

but of a spoiled brat!

"My buttocks... "

Didn't I say:
"Those who are not ready...

"drop... drop...

"... out!"
Yes, drop out!

But none of you dropped out!

Let's rather talk about...

what our friend Zoran does
during the March.

Had he said:
"I can't, I don't want...

"I don't want," fine!

But him, no!
He is a constant nuisance.

He's sabotaging...

always dragging behind.

In the mountain,
he sleeps in the dry...

whereas you,
you sleep up above...

under a torrential rain!

Because he is the smartest one!

Well, that rash...

Say, it can happen to everybody.

But at the same time...

he reveals an important side
of his personality...

his penchant for sneak...
sneak... ing.

...Ing!

...ing, comrades pioneers.

In his letter...

he is positive that I like
disguising myself as a ghost.

If someone
who doesn't know me...

reads this letter, he'll think
I am a bloody lunatic!

To say I like disguising myself!

Let's recap: What is it...

Mr. Zoran is complaining about
in his letter?

He's complaining about me
and his...

Buttocks!

His buttocks, comrades pioneers.

Tell us, where did I find you
this afternoon?

Don't be shy.

In the church.

I didn't hear you.

In the church.

In the church!

It's mine.

I beg your pardon?

It's my grandma's ring.

Here it is!

Let's see.

Why the pioneer Zoran has
offered this precious ring...

that has adorned the hands of
generations of aristocrats...

to the pioneer Jasna?

You don't know?

It's quite obvious!

Well.

The pioneer Zoran
has a disastrous effect...

on the morale of the group!

Consequently he shall be sent...

back to Belgrade
by the first train.

The nearest station...

"what a coincidence"
Grandpa would say...

was situated in Kumrovec,
Tito's Hometown.

We reached it round midday...

our last stop not being far
from the objective of our trip.

Your sandwich.

Your ticket.

Come here.

Get it out from there.

Do you hear me?

Fall in!

What are you waiting for?

Don't drag your feet!

One, two, one, two...

Who's doing the talking?

- You?
- I don't know.

What do you mean,
you don't know?

- You mean my poem?
- Give it to me.

Dear Comrade Tito...

here, in front of Your house,
I owe You an explanation.

There has been
a misunderstanding.

I had the honor
to represent my school...

at this grandiose March.

But I haven't deserved it.

I've done something that
no pioneer of Tito's would do.

In my poem,
I didn't say the truth...

when I wrote that I loved You
more than Mum and Dad.

Everyone knows that I love Mum
and Dad more than anything.

My grandma, too...

all the folks back home...

my uncle and my auntie...

and my cousin Svetlana.

I would particularly
like to point out...

that I prefer my friends
over You...

and a little girl whose name
I won't mention now.

As well as...

Johnny Weissmuller
in the role of Tarzan...

Gary Cooper in all his roles...

the circus of "Adria"...

the gypsy who repairs
the casseroles...

and our local loony.

I love everybody around me,
all those You don't know...

and You can't even imagine
how nice they are...

and how much I care about them.

Three days
after we returned home...

a letter arrived for me,
by registered mail.

It's from him for Zoran,
in person.

Impossible! Zoran has nothing
to do with the communists!

Nonsense.

Don't tear it up!

It's mine!

No doubt.

Comrade Tito was addressing
Himself to me personally...

and was inviting me to His place
for His birthday.

Your son is going
to Tito's birthday.

It would be rude
to go empty-handed.

What could we possibly buy him
that he didn't already have?

Zoran will decide by himself
whether he'll go or not.

At the entrance
of the White Palace...

some very pleasant people
searched us from top to bottom.

It is with Kangaroo that they
were the most pleasant...

they stripped him down...

maybe because he doesn't
look like a kid.

In the halls of the Palace...

instead of armors,
there were paintings...

of workmen and partisans,
working their guts out.

You know what's happened
to Comrade Raja?

You don't?

He committed suicide.

Hung himself.

My birthday is not
a national holiday.

It is a day of joy.

Your holiday.

The day of the Youth.

If you'd allow, Comrade Tito.

This is nice, I like this.

Who is this?

It's our teacher, Comrade Raja.

But where is he?

How come the chief
is not with us?

He committed suicide.

What about a few pictures?