Tibor vagyok, de hódítani akarok (2006) - full transcript

Your attention please!

Stop eating, drinking,
bouncing balls.

And switch off your mobiles!

So,

I am happy to say that we have
enjoyed a successful year...

A special thanks to
the girls' basketball team

who came last this year but only
by four points this time.

That guy just kills me!

Who cares?

Guys.

I've got supplies
for the Croatian party trip.



Thanks. What is it, a tattoo?

It's a rubber, you prat.
Is it a ribbed one?

It's green and it glows in the dark.

- The girls'll fall flat on
their backs! - Great!

Do you know how to put it on?

I am sure you are all looking forward
to the holidays and hours of fun...

I'm damned if I'm coming back
from Croatia a Virgin!

Why the bloody staffroom?
It's so depressing!

- Mouthwash?
- I can't take booze.

But it's good stuff.
My dad's homebrew.

whatever you do,
don't stretch the open end!

I can see we need an expert here.
Why don't we go Visit Lady Sandra?

Tibi,

sure my dick won't rot
with this florescent shit?



Relax, it's been tested.
And it wouldn't hurt

if yours had some colour.
At least you'd find it.

Come with me

and I'll take you to a place
where you've never been.

You're not scared pampering,
are you?

No!!!

It's warm...

and now it's getting hot...

Perhaps I'll take off..

Just not your shoes!

Shit! Do something,
the bloody thing's frozen!

No need,

I'm done.

Me too.

It really takes a woman's touch.

And it does glow in the dark!

Have a great summer
except those with retakes.

Tibor Szelei in history

Be ashamed of yourself!

Shit!

Presents

produced by

supported by

a film by

- Good end to the year.
- It was a good speech.

- I'm in the blue one.
- Me too.

Bye then and have a great summer.

Same to you!

Go rot!

Hello, Sir!

Szelei, my boy, to what do we owe
this pleasure?

You promised not to fail me.

Life is full of surprises, Szelei.
Bye boys.

How such a ponce
have a car like that?

His uncle is a bank manager
and he gives him loads of money.

So, where's the drink?

Starring

YOUNG, DUMB AND FULL OF LOVE

screenplay

music

photographer

director

Mum,

Dad,

I've got some good news
and some bad news.

The bad news is
I failed history.

And the good news?

I can really take booze!

Why didn't you say you
were having trouble in history?

- Your teacher, what's his name...
- K?ves.

Well, he's our president's nephew.

I could have asked him to put
a word in.

K?ves is a prat,
you can't talk to him.

Anyway, I'll fly through
the exam, I promise.

If you graduate, you can come
join us at the bank.

You've got a talent.
You inherited it from me.

- Dad, you're a security guard.
- You saying it doesn't need brains?

R?nyi is a sneaky pig

but he understands business.
He doesn't employ just anyone.

- Is that the bus?
- Yes.

You're great. No one
else would let their kid go

- to Croatia after failing history.
- I'm not that stupid.

You're off to F?red to study.

The Flamingo, you remember?

It's a flash hotel now and
the bank rents a couple of rooms.

Tun yogi is still the caretaker
and he'll take care of you.

- So why did you bring me here?
- I want to see them leave

and make sure you don't get up
to anything.

And your train leaves
from this station.

Look, Dad, I really have to go.
There's this girl...

Don't you worry about girls.

You live in a dream world, Tibi.

If you'd look around,

you'd realize that reality is just
as beautiful.

Here's

5000 forint.

There you go.

Chin up, my boy.

- Enjoy yourself.
- Thanks.

It's going to be just great.

And study!

No dreaming, OK?

Aah, stuck in first again.

Welcome to the Flamingo.

I think I might be able
to manage a couple of days.

Welcome to the Flamingo!

Mr. Tun yogi,

Mr. Tun yogi!

Tibor! Good to see you!

Look and weep!
Look what they did

to our lovely, old place!

So, glad your dad sent you.
You look pretty pale.

Mr. Tun yogi.
The door's sticking again.

Just a minute, can't you see
I'm with a guest?

Tibi!

The apple of my eye!
Show yourself...

You've grown! Family OK?

You little darling.
Give Aunty R?zsi a kiss!

His little heart's going
thirteen to the dozen

to see Aunty R?zsi!

- Aunty R?zsi, it's my phone.
- I won't disturb you!

Yes...

Hi..

It's my mum.

Yes, Ma'am...

Just a second.

Yes, I'm writing, go on.

He's to use...

the suntan cream so he doesn't burn.
OK, factor 30.

Swim? Still not? Water wings?

I don't think so but
I'll have a look.

Study history.

Fine, you can depend on me,

I'll look after him.

Eye bye.

Your mother sent it.

- Cool phone, Tibor!
- I painted it a bit.

Now, look who's here!

You remember my daughter, Katika?

- Kata.
- Hello.

She's working here for the summer.

She's been waiting for you.
She could use the company...

Why don't you take Tibor to number
6?

The old man told me
you failed history.

Who cares?

J?zsi asked when you were coming.

- Hire business OK?
- Yeah, by the lake.

Fine, I'll go and take a look.

OK...

bye!

Eye.

Hi!

- Noooo...
- Go on, like last year.

- Leave it!
- Come on!

What's the deal, J?zsi?

It's dead.
And I've got a new machine.

Full extra, open-top,

metallic blue, goes like hell.

Call it "Blue Arrow".

Want to take a look?

Well, show me.

Mate,

people really do go down hill
in the country.

- ...you still a virgin?
- More than last year.

My varied sex life means
swapping hands.

Look,

- that's Kata at the bar.
-And?

If she stretches,
you can see her tits.

Enough of the kids' stuff, J?zsi.

Tibor, look what I found for you...

Oh, no! That's dead embarrassing.

And so is drowning.

Your mum said,

so here you go.

And this as well.

You remember how you loved
snorkelling?

Yes, but I'm not a kid anymore.

No showing off now.

Anyway,

if you want a good woman,
get on the internet.

Do you know Lady Sandra?

No.

I'll show you.

She's a stunner. She's got great
tits. You'll shit yourself!

-And what's her face like?
- That's not important.

She's gorgeous. Really.

Sex on legs. You'll drool.
You'll come in seconds.

You mean, like her?

What? Shit! It's her.

Are you the pedallo man?

- She knows my name!
- Would you bring me a lounger?

But today if possible.

Do you know that you really
look like someone?

Like who?

The most beautiful woman
in the world.

What's this? Can't you swim?

Oh, I was just showing J?zsi.

He's a bit crap, poor kid.

Me...
I'm in my element in water.

- You work here too?
- No way...

I'm on holiday.

This whole place is my dad's,
I mean my dad's bank's.

Your dad owns the bank?

Well, that dickhead R?nyi is still
there but he's an idiot.

Really?

- What's your name?
- Tibor Szelei.

Your biggest fan... Lady Sandra.

What?

But, you are on the net?

Right?

When you say, how warm it is

and how hot it's getting
and you take off your...

No, that's not you, not you at all,

not even close... I'm an idiot.

Here you are, Madam.

A little shade for you.

Get moving J?zsi.
For Madam's head.

- Hi.
- What's this "madam" business?

Oh, that's R?nyi's wife
He upgraded three years ago

but some reckon he had her
made from silicon.

Didn't you know?

That's the Balaton for you.

Are you really G?za R?nyi's wife?

Yes.

Lexi R?nyi. Old Mrs. Dickhead.

Did you think I said dickhead?
I said dead quick...

No problem.
He's a bit of a dickhead at times.

We planned to go to Capri and
then a Danish delegation showed up.

It isn't that bad here.

There's skittles,
table football and ping-pong...

That's why the Balaton's so dead.

Why aren't there
any motorboats?

We can go out on a pedallo.

"Silver Arrow", goes
like a bomb. I'll pedal.

Pedallo?

-Are you joking?
- Don't you worry, Tibi.

Aunty R?zsi'll go with you.

Isn't he a sweet boy, Lexi?

I've known him since
he was in nappies.

Well... an hour and a half
with Aunty R?zsi.

I thought it took a crane
to move ballast like her.

And she went and showed me up
in front of Lexi.

- Isn't she from the net after all?
- She looks the same.

- But why would R?nyi's wife strip?
- For charity?

Doesn't matter,
I'll shag her anyway. Just need a

- good place and...
- Well, there's the hotel.

It's swarming with R?nyi's people.
I need a

romantic place like a yacht or
a boat or something with a motor.

I can get a motorboat.

Kata!

What?

Oh... hello.

- Need it or not? - Where
would you get a motorboat from?

The question is more like
"how much for?"

Do you hear?

Is it far?

No,

here's my rig, babe.

Beautiful!

But how do we get to it?

Just leave that to me.

What a good-looking young man.

Have you really got a motorboat?

Sure, had it for years.

Is it much further?

No,

that's it.

That's your motorboat?

- That rusty bucket? - OK, so it got
a bit bashed in the storm...

Well, go on, get it over here!

I meant to do it...

I'm into adventure.

- Won't you start it up?
- Sure, just give me a minute.

The engine.

You have to pull it.

I know.

Just checking the oil.

You mean the petrol.

- Yes.
- Now you've checked it over.

That's where you start it.

Of course.

You need more gas.

Tibor, come back!

Tibor, come back here!

Shit...shame I can't swim.

With the boat, you idiot!

Hang on!

I'm coming...!

How could you be such an idiot?
All our gear's in the boat!

Thank you

for saving my life.
So...

Look... Just go in
and get some clothes.

OK... I need something because...

My key was in my trunks!

Turn around!

Put it on!

Come on! Here's my key,
fetch some clothes.

You're bound to find something
in my room.

- Ball-roasting hot, isn't it?
- Aha.

All the best Mr. Tun yogi!

Bye.

I'm here.

- What took you so long?!
- I was as fast as I could.

This was the only normal T-shirt.

It's not a T-shirt,

it's a mini-dress.

I want my 5K back!
I'm not paying for that old heap.

You said you wanted a motorboat.
It was a boat and it had a motor.

Where did you get that pile of crap?

Been there for months.
No idea whose it is.

- The key?
- I put the lock on.

Had to give you something
for your money.

You owe me one
and a big one at that.

You need a bra to go
with your G-string?

I need a key for my room.
OK, so mine got lost.

So you're not moving
in with her yet then?

I've got her key as well.

Will you give it to me
or not?

So that you know,
Lexi and I are just friends

and she's helping me study.

And... did you say you've got a key
to her room?

- Hi there!
- Hello!

She wanted 4k for that key.
ls the girl normal?

You really want
to break in to her place?

Have to find out what turns her on.

Take a look!

- Good, hey?
- Are you stupid?

But I had to try it out.
I can't get any closer to a woman.

- Hey, was this really in her bum?
- Yes. And then in mine.

It's still worth it.

Let's look!

- Shit! Have you got three hundreds?
- Why bother?

Once,

twice...

Oh, shit!

- Is it her? - Don't know.
Got any tweezers?

- Her face looks like Lexi's.
- I wasn't looking at her face.

Come on!
Hurry up and leave the food!

- How do you reckon she
fits this? - Don't know.

Tibi!

Look here!

Luke,

don't fight against me,
I'm your father.

And you're an idiot.

- Now I've got you!
- Serve and protect, baby.

I think I'm going
to have to frisk you.

Hmmm, and what's this?

- Feels like a weapon.
- Catapult?

- Cold. - Pistol?
- Warm.

- Rifle?
- Warm.

- Rocket launcher?
- Hot.

You

bad boy!

Great or what?

- You animal.
- Calm down.

Here's the key.

Piggy,
thanks for calling me back.

I wanted to get some cash
but I can't find my card.

Would you see if I left it at home?

Oh, you're not at home.

Where are you calling from now?
The office?

On a Saturday?

You poor thing.

You tell those stupid Danes
that you need a rest as well. Me?

What do you think?
I'm bored to death.

There's no one here
to keep me entertained.

I knew this would happen.
I don't know why you insisted.

The heat is driving me mad, I told
Tun yogi to do something about it...

Yes,

yes. OK.

Do you know when you'll be here?
How long are the Danes staying?

Hello, hello, Piggy?

This is Lexi Rényi,
I'd like to speak to my husband...

But he just called
from the of foe.

Just check for me. He is obviously
with the Danish delegation...

They left two days ago?

I see.

No,

there's no message.

- Why did you bring that?
- Don't know, I got nervous.

You're stupid! Take it back
before she realizes.

OK, fine, fine.

Hey! Is that you boys, it's good
you came. I've lost my glasses.

- Have you seen them?
- No, sorry, we haven't.

I can tell that you two are up
to something.

- What's that in your hand?
- This? Nothing.

It's ringing.
Won't you answer it?

Yes, yes.

- Hello, Dad? Yes, fine.
- That your father?

Let me have a word.

Hello, Ern?,
haven't seen you for years.

Hello, it's me, R?zsi Demj?n.

I can't hear a thing.
Hello, hello!

The coverage must be bad.

Feri, you understand these things,

can you fix Tibi's phone?

African palm.

It must be cold here.

Just get it back,
I've got things to do.

Yes, but how?

What?

I wanted to say... that
you must think I'm a right fool.

Yes.

But you're sweet with it.

- How old are you, anyway?
- 17...days' time, I'll be 22.

- Something wrong?
- No, it's just

so stuffy in here,

and these lifts, you know...

That blouse looks
dead good on you...

Yes, I can see that you like it.

Now, let's look what the reading
is on the thermometer?

It only shows a mild temperature.

And you can take me to
a party tomorrow.

I'm bored to death here.

What do you think she meant by
"mild temperature"?

What's the reading?

- Fourteen.
- Well, that's what she meant.

Why how big is yours?

Twenty-seven.

- Twenty-seven?!
- In neutral.

No shit! If it sticks up,
you'll hit your chin.

- How the hell do you do it?
- How much do you weigh?

Seventy, why?

Wait here a minute.

Hey!
Are you sure this is any good?

Sure,

it's been tested.

I hope so because it's really shit.

It hurts to start off with
but it's worth it.

And why a cactus?

The weight is the thing...

You have to add your weight to the

size of your tool then

subtract your age,

divide the lot by thirty

and the result gives you
the amount of stretching weight.

This is about 1 .5 kilos.

My balls are going to fall off.

- Who's that?
- lt's Aunty R?zsi.

Tibi, I came for the jam.

The what?!

Not so many questions.
Just open the door!

Hello there, boys.

I keep the jam in here.

It's delicious. You can have
a lick as well if you like.

What's that cactus doing here, Tibi?

- It belongs in the corridor...
Give it here! - No!

- Now, Tibi, give it here!
- Please don't.

It's my cactus. I love it and
I want to hold it for a while.

And what are you doing
with that geranium?

I thought I'd take the poor thing
for a walk.

So it's not on its own.

But, Józsi, it's got greenfly.

- Doesn't matter, I like animals.
- Hi.

Hello.
Here it is. The usual rate.

But forget it after this.

I don't believe it!

It's smaller than before!

Uh... it does look a bit
weather-beaten.

Could do with some Viagra.
Can't you get some?

Are you stupid?
Should I get a prescription?

I need something.

- I can't present this tonight.
- True.

Look!

It doesn't matter if it isn't big.

It just needs to look big.

Well, doesn't look too bad. But what
happens if we get involved?

She'll be so excited, she
won't even notice the difference.

And what if it falls out?

Let's practice. I'll be Mrs. R?nyi.

Oh, Tibor, it's enormous.

You're wonderful, my love.

I hope I'm not disturbing anything.

- J?zsi, they're waiting for you...
- Ooh, you're wonderful!

...at the pedallos.

Use a full box, that's better.

Shall we dance?

No.

OK, then me neither.

Hi. Take this,
Mum's blood pressure pills.

It increases the circulation.

- It'll do for Viagra.
- Are you stupid?

- What are you wearing?
- Don't know. Adress?

Great. You look like...
like a girl.

Some kind of coincidence.

Fancy a dance?

OK.

Sorry.

Sorry.

No problem.

Sorry... sorry.

Know what? Maybe if
we stayed on each other's feet

the next time, we wouldn't step
on them again.

Sorry.

Fetch me a gin and tonic.

OK.

- A gin and tonic, please.
- So, you're fine as a waiter?

- What? - The R?nyi woman
whistles and you run?

- This the new fashion? Little girl
with big mouth? - Go to hell!

- What's wrong with her?
- Don't know.

- We're on!
- Yes?

Hang on.

Here.

1500 forint, please.

Where's the tonic?

Sorry...

Don't you want any?

Thanks... I don't...

Don't what?

I don't say no...

Not mine!

Waiter!

- What does he see in her?
- Who, what?

Tibor, in Mrs. R?nyi?
She just throws herself

at everyone and she's twice
as old as he is.

Yes, Tibor's a lucky guy.

Relax. It's just tonic!

Just tonic.

Look!

Tonic!

Tibor!

Tibor,

is that you, my boy?
What are you doing?

Feeding the fish.

That's good of you.

Mr. Tun yogi.

I'm so unlucky,

I know.

But don't worry,
you'll find the one.

It might be a bit different
to what your parents wanted

but happiness is the main thing.

Mr. Tun yogi.

I'm so in love.

That's kind of you, my boy,

but people don't really change
at my age.

I know I'm old-fashioned but

I'm only really interested in women.

But we can still be friends?

Hi.

Hi.

You OK?

Yes,

I embarrassed myself with Alex
and I think I got alcohol poisoning

but it was a good night.

Well, at least you weren't bored.

Listen,

I didn't mean to be such
an idiot yesterday... Sorry. OK?

- Where you going to? The lake?
- Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to eat
breakfast and then throw up.

Coming?

To throw up?

No, to the lake.

OK, sure.

Why not?

In half an hour?

OK.

Hi.

Is that you?

Yes.

I just wanted to say sorry
for the boat thing...

I can't hear a thing, come in!

In there?

Come on!

Will no one help me?

What are you waiting for?

- What the hell are you doing here?!
- You told me to come.

How can you be so stupid?
Get out, now!

I'm here, Bunny!

What took you so long, Piggy?

Bunny, I'm here.

Who is that?

Oh, that's Tibor,

- he's on holiday.
- In the bath?

Yes, Tibor, why are you naked?

I'm a nudist sort.

I like it if things swing...

He popped in for the sun cream.
I borrowed it.

Don't you get burned!

- What's the problem?
- What's the problem?

There's a man naked in the bath.
That's the problem!

He's a kid. Twenty-two.

Seventeen.

- Mr. K?ves, Sir?
- You know him?

Sure, I failed him at history.

You see, Piggy!

I was happy to bring you but
you never said anything about kids!

Ah, Mr. K?ves is your nephew.

Shut up! I know who he is.
Who are you?

Tibor Szelei.
My father works for you.

- Szelei, who's he?
-A guard, Mr. R?nyi.

Ah, I am also planning to go
into banking,

that is after I finish university,

I mean, after I finish
school, after

I get through my retake...

Get dressed first.

Don't let me see you here again kid,
OK?

- Don't forget the sun cream.
- Thanks.

- Hi, what's your stuff doing here?
- Long story.

- What's this white shit?
- Plaster.

It's good you're here,
I've got great news.

Me too. R?nyi's here and
K?ves is here, the prat who

failed me at history. But
I've got some sun lotion!

That's nothing.
You shag the woman tonight!

- Forget it, J?zsi.
- Why?

- She knows I'm seventeen.
- Look at this.

Mrs. R?nyi gave it to me to get
R?nyi playing.

She wants him distracted.
I'm not surprised.

R?nyi loves chess and he can
go all night once he starts.

What do you think she
wants to do all night?

No,

J?zsi! Thanks. My dick's going
to explode if I don't get her!

It's nothing.

Now all I have to do is to learn
to play chess.

You said yes and you can't play?

- I can for 5K.
- But you can't!

- I'll lose a lot.
- How long do you think

- he'll play if you
don't know the pieces? - I do.

- Then put the knight on F4.
- OK.

- Which one's the knight?
- This one.

- But that's a horse...
- This is hopeless.

- What are you doing here?
- Hi.

- Thank God you're here.
Can you play chess? - What?

Need to invite R?nyi to play chess.

- Why?
- Tibi's got a tough night ahead.

- You said you're not interested.
- Doesn't matter.

Can you play or not?
We can pay 5K.

Now what?

Bloody hell!

OK, let's do it.

You coming to Capri, Bandi?

You'll piss yourself when you see
the yacht I've bought!

What are you pushing it for?

You're beautiful and you're
clever and I love you both.

Now, what are we drinking?

I can't stay.

I'm meeting a friend
in the next village.

- Can't you meet tomorrow?
- No we can't

because we agreed today.

So, bye then.

Cheers and enjoy your meal.

-A drink, Bunny?
- No, I'm going to my room.

I've got a headache.
You feel free to stay.

I'm not staying. On my own?
Hang on, I'll come too.

- Sorry, excuse me.
- Are you stupid?

- This chess?
- Yes, I'll just pick it up.

- Do you play, kid?
- No.

No one dares play me.
I always win.

OK. Sit.

- You go, Bunny, I'll be right up.
- OK but hurry.

- Want a drink, kid?
- Yes, yes.

So you're seventeen
and you failed history?

That's sweet!

- Your husband?
- Playing chess.

He'll be there all night.

Sorry.

What are you doing?
The bishop can't jump over a pawn.

I know. I was just warming up.

At last.

What are you doing?
You should escape with your king.

I don't usually, I'm brave.

You're an idiot not brave.
You can't play.

Sure I can but

- I prefer African chess.
- What?

It's a bit odd for me that
the horse doesn't have legs

and the queen's got no tits,
but I'll get the hang of it, really.

We haven't got much time...
get it out...

I want to see it...

I want you, baby.

I prefer it if you call me "Sir",
Szelei.

Tibor?

- Szelei!
- Good God!

Kid, you really can't play, can you?

No problem, I don't mind losing.

- OK, I've got no time for this.
- No wait!

Let's chat a bit.

Have you heard of the "Silver Arrow"?

What?

Shit, the plaster!

What are you doing, Szelei?

I think I'm setting.

- Stupid! Why did you jump out?
- I wanted to die.

From the first floor?

A challenge.

- Listen. What you saw in my room...
- I know, I misunderstood, hey?

What you saw

has nothing to do with you and
not with anybody else either.

Be discrete.

What the bloody hell
are you doing here?

Didn't you say your head hurt?

- And what about your mate?
- I'll explain.

I will.

- It's my fault.
- Yes, it's his fault!

I should have said.
But I was scared you'd be angry.

What the bollocks is going on here?

- The thing is, Alex and I...
- We were looking for my ring.

- Your ring?
- Her ring?

- Shut up!
- Shut up! Her ring...

What ring?

The diamond, Piggy.

I know you'll kill me
but I think I've lost it.

You've lost the

diamond?

You see, I knew you'd go mad

and that's why I asked Andris
to help me.

- At night?
- While you were playing chess.

Sorry, Piggy, don't be angry.

What's that dick doing here?

My dick?

It isn't here anymore.

- Can I ask a question?
- Better not.

I'll have something to write in
"My summer holidays".

- Don't think about it.
- Relax, after the

G-string,
no one's going to be interested.

At least I've saved the cost
of building an amusement park.

- What is it? - Leave it alone.
It's a picture but it's not finished.

I've been such a fool.

What a complete and utter fool!

What does she see in that fool,
K?ves?

K?ves is a good guy.

- You fancy him too?
- Not me. But he's a good guy.

- Have you had a boyfriend?
- What's it to you?

I haven't. Well, nearly once.

And Mrs. R?nyi?

I was a fool to think that a woman
like that would fancy me.

Sure. She just wanted you
to jump around.

Tibi?!

- Tibi.
- I don't really care.

She was too old for me anyway.

I want a girl who's young, pretty

and is interested in what's
inside here.

Oh, Tibor,

I'm so happy.

Tibi, what?

Nothing, I was just

thinking about Lexi.

It might have worked just once.

I'll never have a woman.
What girl needs a loser like me?

I like someone too. For a long time
but he just doesn't notice me.

- Who, Józsi?
- You really are a bloody idiot.

I'm making you solely responsible.

If it doesn't turn up
before tonight...

- So, Piggy?
- What? - So, Piggy?

I'll sack you.

- What's that for?
- For the ring.

What ring?

Mrs. R?nyi lost it and
we're looking for it.

- Like hell she lost it!
- R?nyi says the same.

He reckons it was stolen.

I've been looking
for that rotten ring all day.

I've got to find it
or R?nyi'll sack my dad.

- Who's that?
- It's me, Tibor.

- Tibi, not now, OK? Go away.
- I'll stay until you let me in.

What do you want?

To talk.

Look,

I know you were sweet
yesterday but...

- You have to tell the truth.
- What?

They're going to fire Tun yogi.

- He deserves it. Maybe he stole it.
- You threw it down the loo.

What are you thinking?
How dare you?

Lexi, I saw you. I lay here
behind the bed and I saw.

Behind the bed?

You sneaked into my room?

If you don't tell,

I will.

And now you're blackmailing me?

Would you close the window?

Sorry...sorry.

Was that the first kiss?

Sweet.

You did it really well.

You'll make a great little lover.

You can say what you like
or lie, I don't care

- but Tun yogi...
- Forget Tun yogi.

Do you know what's better than
the first kiss? Much better?

What?

The second one.

Shit, you've got to go.

Piggy's home.
Bunny, I'm here!

Piggy, I want to tell you...

Piggy, I've realized where
the ring is...

- Good evening, Szelei.
- Evening, Sir.

- How did Sir get here?
- I'm hiding from you.

I put it on the bathroom shelf.
...exactly where...

And you?

- From R?nyi. - I hope
there won't be any more of us.

And I knocked the shelf and
brushed the ring into the toilet.

- Want a fag?
- Aha, thanks.

- You dropped it down the bog?
- Yes.

You dropped the diamond in the loo?

Why are you so upset?
It's no big thing.

No big thing?

You've got enough money. It's why
you work hard with the Danes.

You should look after my gifts.

Hey, stay here.
I'll sort this out.

OK,

but you should know
that I love her too.

I've been in love with her
for two years

so I've got a bit of an advantage.

And you let R?nyi treat her
like this?

I told you, I'll sort it.

And now?

Jump.

After you, Sir.

Everything is ready, Sir.

They delivered the
booze and the wine.

OK, tell the staff that
my guests

and my wife apologise for yesterday.

- Isn't that right, Bunny?
- Yes, sorry.

So, friends, Tun yogi?

For your pains?

- For me?
- For a spin.

- The boss's Yamaha?
- Later.

Now bring that brandy
because I want to get pissed.

Over there Tun yogi.

Tibi, look at this!
The pills work.

J?zsi, my boy!
Run to the kitchen for the brandy.

Yes. Mr. Tun yogi.

Tibi,

J?zsi is a simple kid
but a good kid.

His mother's heart would break if

something bad came out about him.

What bad?

I know it's a different world today.

Now look at those breasts,

aren't they like two ripe apples?

Ripe enough.

Think about it, my boy.

You see, I told you it works.

- How many did you take?
- Two packs. It's been rock hard for hours.

Shit!

I need to get hold of a woman!

Hi.

Hi,

- fancy a brandy?
- You look good.

Thanks.

Brandy?

Brandy?

Dance?

- No.
- No.

I looked for you last night.
I was in your room.

And?

- I saw that picture.
-And?

Is that me?

What do you think?

I just don't believe that
you know another ugly model.

Oh, not so ugly.

- But it's a good picture.
- Thanks.

It's got all the cash in it
you gave to me.

Look, I know I've behaved
like a total idiot but

I thought that

you and me...

G?zu, where the shit are you going?

Yes?!

- My name is Andr?s.
- What?

Andr?s K?ves.

- For shit's sake.
- Sorry.

Who gives a shit?

Evening, Sir.

Evening, Szelei.

- I'm leaving.
- And Lexi? Did you sort things out?

Forget it. No.
Just get ready for the retake,

you're not so stupid.
You can copy a "D" from the atlas.

- Goodnight.
- Bye.

Do we have an atlas in History?

And you?

- We're waiting for you.
- Longingly.

Did K?ves really leave?

You're his student, aren't you?

Aha.

And he failed you, right?

Yes.

Then come with me!

So, what did you want to say?

I'll be back in a minute.

Strip!

What?

This is what you want, isn't it?

And K?ves?

That fool.

He thinks he can interfere
just because we shagged.

- Now I don't understand.
- I have lived

on a leper colony.
Thanks, but I don't want any.

Piggy is a big fool but
at least with him I don't feel like

- I'm in a cesspit.
- You are Lady Sandra, aren't you?

Oh, it's so hot,

I need to take something off.

Come on,

at least you can have
your revenge for that fail.

Don't catch a cold!

Are you rowing out?

Aren't you with the R?nyi woman?

I prefer to be with you.

I thought you fancied her.

Yeah, me too.

But we made a mistake.

And now...?

And now what?

Nothing.

Have I told you
that I like the picture?

Thanks...

It is true.

What?

That the second kiss
is much better than the first.

- OK, you don't have to if you
don't want. - Don't want?

I've wanted this since I was 12,

I don't know why boys waste
so much time.

Can I help with something?

Are you a man?

No,

I'm just J?zsi.

Then get out!

I hate men!

...J?zsi...

Let me tell you something, J?zsi!

Love isn't worth shit!

Anyone who tells
you different is lying.

You're telling me? My dick's been
hard for four hours and

I can't find a woman.

Well, that was fantastic.

- Was it for you?
- Yes.

- But it's true...
- What?

That the second is much better
than the first.

- How do you know?
- Just shut up!

Fancy a drink?

My mum made it.

Delicious.

Just shut up!

Come on, Son, I don't want
to get stuck on the motorway.

Tibi!

Are you leaving?

Yes.

-And when are you going to Capri?
- I'm not.

My husband's meeting the Danes
so he's gone back to Budapest.

This is for you.

Thanks.

Tibi, I've told you a thousand
times to stop dreaming.

Our type can never touch "Milady".

Who?

So, like we agreed.
In a week at the station.

- Will you call me?
- Every day.

Have you said goodbye to J?zsi?

No need.

- Bye then.
- Bye.

So, Son, did you learn anything?

Plenty.