Tian shi zhuang xie (1983) - full transcript

This is good wine. Really good wine.

Empty? Is everything finished yet?

I need more.

More wine.

Meester.

Seriously, I can't waste anything. -Master.

What is this supposed to be?

Wine. This is serious. I have to report this.

Master.

What's happening here? You are soaked.

This is wine. You broke the rules.



No, no, I didn't.

Do you still deny it?
It even drips off your hair.

You're in a lot of trouble.

Master

I didn't drink it, honestly.

I am innocent. -Do not fear.

I'm not as strict as
the old man, I'm open-minded.

I'm not against drinking.

I'm not turning you in and
I'm keeping your little secret.

And you go back to work. - Thank you, master.

Blood. Blood.

A magical fan. -A magical blanket.

Art of disguise.

Mighty God, hear me.



Chicken, bread and wine.

It's time to eat.

Grandma, smoke some first.

How can I smoke without fire?

Of course, here.

Well done. You get two cents.

Only two? - Take them first.

Is that sufficient?

Thank you, grandma. -It's just play money.

They are false.

If we could magic money, poverty would not exist.

Your family started with
your great-grandfather, then came

your grandfather and then your deceased father.

Only one man in the family. Now you are there.

So I looked for a matchmaker
to find a wife for you.

But there is no news from her yet.

Grandmother, don't worry.

I'll find a healthy woman to have babies

and lift the curse.

I'll take a look.

Are you rejecting my sister?
-No, I just don't like her.

What, you bastard.

I will kill you.

Stop.

Master Li Hau, I gave you girls to select,

but I hear nothing from you, nothing at all.

What?

I gave the list to your cousin,
why didn't he give it to you?

Say it, is this true?

About. -That is not the best.

It's about the rest of my life,
so I like to choose for myself.

You will continue the family line.
I'm looking for your wife today.

Do you see the needle? Where
she points will become your wife.

What if it's undescribed? -
Shut up, you don't stand a chance.

Stop. Stop there.

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Awesome.

How awful. This is the end of my family.

What am I still living for? I might as well die.

Grandma, calm down.

Grandma, are you still alive?

I give you three months to find a wife or I die.

Brother.

You keep an eye out. I'm going to have a drink

I'll be back soon. Thank you.

Brother, I saw two moons.

Why not. -In the water, come on.

There, see?

Where? You're crazy. You imagine things.

Come on, get out of here.

No problems? -Fine.

Turn around, turn around, turn around.

Master, wait for me.

you drunkard,

you slip away to drink
and the evil magician escapes.

Do you know what this means?

Sorry. All your fault.

you get three months to bring him back alive,

or you take his place in the cell.

Only one man.

You can only blame your
husband for being worthless.

Why belittle me? But I am different.

I am fit and strong, and also handsome.

Who was that? Are you blind,
you stupid bastard? Come here.

But why would I want to kill you?

Come back.

Stop.

Day.

Damn you wanna mess around?
I'm teaching you a lesson.

Fly, fly little one.

He flew away.

The sword.

The magic fire.

Brother,

I notice that your magic fire has not improved.

Your nine rings are too powerful.

I want you to find me nine virgin boys.

They must have been born on the day of the moon.

I need their blood. -For what?

To understand the Moon
Sword and kill Priest Chan.

To get that knowledge, you
want to kill 9 innocent boys?

I think you're going too far.

Be silent.

Priest Chan locked me up for years.
I have to take revenge.

Brother, where do I start? It is a big city.

Where do I start my quest for virgins?

Don't you have a daughter?

I will do my best.

She must be beautiful and hardworking.
Polite and calm.

Walk on, it's Grandma's voice.
But she looks nice.

Waiter, please bring me some tea.

What's wrong with me? Why
is my heart beating so fast?

Waiter, a bowl of noodles. -Coming.

You should have fun seducing. Dont be shy.

I'm not afraid, I'm not.

Is called.

I need to radiate confidence.

Let's take a walk.

Hey, miss. Wait for me.

You smell nice. -Behave yourself.

Hey, miss.

Have some soup. Watch out, she's still hot.

Be careful not to burn yourself.

Tell me your name.

You told me. I want to be your friend.

Wait for me. Come back.

you mock me. Not funny, give me a kiss.

He is 8 months. I'm looking
for a daddy for him. You hit it.

You are my choice. -My God.

Do not walk away.

Do not walk away.

My name is Li.

let me introduce you guys,

the healing powers of my family.

Whatever it is: leprosy, headaches,
broken bones, even cancer.

Everything can be healed.
Don't think I'm talking nonsense.

I tell you, my magical power is absolute.

If my arts fail, I'll pay you back.

No, no, of course that won't happen.

I mean, I won't fail.

Brother.

I feel an evil that surrounds you.

I know for sure that something is wrong with you.

You think, it's just a hunchback.

But in fact it is a tumor.

And if not treated quickly, it will grow rapidly.

Glad you found me today.

I'll heal you cheap, 100$, what do you say?

100$? I'd rather save that for my funeral.

How do you feel now?

Come here with the money.

Put your money away, I'll heal you for free.

My money.

The rat.

Punishing hypnosis.

Down, down, down.

The Devil's Mirror.

All the poison in the bag.

Handover.

You owe this to yourself.

Waking.

What is going on?

You also work magic. Why did you break my spell?

Because magic is not for robbing people.

I dare you. -Do you think I'm scared?

You really want to get me.

You are going to die.

Not yet. Almighty God, grant me strength.

There.

This water is poisonous.
A single drop and you die.

Do you dare to drink it?

Doesn't represent anything.

This is pepper water. A drop burns your guts.

Do you dare to drink?

Certainly.

Go ahead.

No problem.

Yummy?

My mini arrow never misses its target. unload.

Useless, I'm protected.

Upwards.

My nose. -How about that?

This little gun destroys everything.
You can't escape me now.

I'll get you.

Water. forward.

what blocks it,

Your magic is fantastic.

The plantation lord organizes
a tournament in the square.

You must participate, you will
win his daughter. You don't fail.

Listen to my announcement.

He who wants to be my son-in-law,

must first of all be kung fu expert.

You are an old man, what are
you looking for in this tournament?

What do you say?

I'm still a virgin, so why not?

There's my girl.

You will fall in love when you see her profile.

The rest is up to your imagination.

She is beautiful.

According to the stars,
only Monday boys are suitable.

Only three meet the requirement.

Here.

I'm here.

Here.

You may be a virgin,

I'm sure you're sorry
you were born on the wrong day.

Besides this test,

you are asked to put on
that specially designed cloak.

I wish you all the luck. Light the fire.

Walk barefoot over the nails,
then jump over the beams,

and put on the cloak.

You go first.

I knew it.

Help me.

The next.

You're going the wrong way, it's past there.

I warm up first.

Drip it anyway. -I give up.

Now the last.

Please sit down. Prepare the wedding.

Sit down.

Take a seat.

Grandma will be over the moon.

What is the name of your mistress? -Lei Ho.

Wablief? -Lei Hoi.

Ah, Lei Hoi, Lei Hoi.

That's how it is.

Yes, that's a very nice name.

Weird, what if we're family.
I better take a look.

Help.

Why don't you lower yourself? It does not hurt.

Lei Hoi. Good gracious.

You're so ugly.

My God, I'm getting out of here.

It's bad luck when girls sit on top of me.

You become my husband, don't run away.

I didn't sleep with you yet

Shut up or I'll castrate you. The sword.

He is your husband. You have to bring him back.

I'll get him back.

I know what to do.

look at that man over there.

Hurry up, yeah?

You pay with some nickel, what do you expect?

It has been restored, here.

Wait until I'm done with you.

My pants.

Don't touch me, you're a girl.
-Do you want to marry me or not?

What do you want from me?

Don't take my pants off.

Rape.

It's still true.

Stop.

That's right.

Glad you are here she

Was raped? -No, not true.

Not true? You dare to rape a girl in my district?

I didn't assault her. Ask her yourself.

You see? She is speechless
because there is nothing to say.

I'll tell you how he did it.
He took off his pants.

And slapped my eye.

Do you hear that?

And tore my garment.

And then?

He pushed me here, spread
my legs and pushed my skirt up.

And then?

Ask him.

Don't believe her. -Should we believe you?

Wait a second.

Did you see a man pass in his underpants?

Thank you.

I follow you everywhere, you can't get rid of me.

I look forward to this.

A good shower.

That's worth it.

I'm putting this on.

Who is there?

Excuse me, I was just passing by.
Can I rest here?

Go ahead.

Lord, what are you doing? -To take a shower.

Don't peek. -There's no water.

To save energy. -You can't shower without water.

Idiot. Never heard of dry washing?

Dry washing?

This is called a Tai Wu bath.

Hot sand mixed with medicinal herbs.

Very healthy, and the
sand also heals many ailments.

If that's true, I want to try it.

Where did I see this before?

Don't touch that baby. That is for wine.

Where are my pants?

Don't take my pants off, are you a sissy?

It's my pants. -You're wearing my pants.

your pants? -Very correct, mine.

Is that yours? -Yes.

Your face hit my fist, don't blame me.

Normally I hit people, nobody dares to touch me.

you ask me for it. Thank you.

No, no.

Come down.

I give up. I am too old, no longer strong enough.

You are driving me to destruction.
-I'm just getting warm.

Ouch, my back.

My legs, My legs.

Your legs are fine.

I'll kill you.

Little bastard. Beat an old man, huh?

And you're the one saying that.
Like you just slapped me.

Since we're both so bad, let's be friends.

Well, then we shake hands. -Come on.

Let us drink to celebrate.

Carefully.

We drink this layer after layer.

I won't lose to you.

One, two, scissors.

I am stone, you leaf. You win.

You won.

Not so hard.

Have a look. Three come first.

Delicious.

scissors. my scissors, your blade. I lose again.

You cheated.

Here, here. Drink up, I never say no to wine.

One more... one more time?

Why are you hitting? We chose the same.

Mine was sharper than yours, idiot.

Not fair.

Shall we have another drink and take it easy?

And and.

Another bowl. -Even more. I like that.

Sorry. But please help me get rid of that girl.

Are you afraid of her?

Ghosts scare me for three
days, but this girl means terror.

He says your sight makes him shake.

Shut up, you crazy beggar.

Don't get me in any more trouble.

Don't try to run or I'll break your legs.

Issues? Don't panic, she's a tigress, huh.

Come on.

I did you a favor, now you have to

return one, yes. Say it.

sensible. Will you help me catch a monster?

A monster?

Brother, brother.

It's so dark. I'm afraid. Brother.

Sister, don't be afraid. I protect you.

You know wine is bad for you.
Don't drink that much.

It stimulates blood circulation.

Let's sing a song, yeah?

That's right.

See you now, you're drunk.

Do you really think this will work?

I clear my head.

There you are, little devil. I'll get you both.

I take the slingshot. -Yes, we will.

Ready, aim. loose.

Make fun of me?

Damn you.

You hit me in the same spot.

Brother, I'm coming. I help you.

Take this.

I'll be right away.

Get off me, it's me.

Take it, and more.

How come it's you?

How would you know? You are drunk.

Where's the other guy? -Escaped.
I told you not to drink.

All right, I'll stop drinking tomorrow.

Meester.

You returned empty-handed. Where are the boys?

Master, I had some trouble tonight, I

I promise, tomorrow I have more for you.

You work too hard, you need to get some rest.

Thank you, master.

Do not touch. It's a precision bomb.

You'll blow us up if you're not careful.

This old cart is full of gadgets.

Naturally. My own super design.

A wagon on land, a boat on water.

It's no ordinary cart.

yes lady

Wine. I need to replenish my stock.

You would stop. -I said tomorrow.

It's always tomorrow, you don't stop.
-How smart you are.

I'm trying this.

This is a crazy world. People throw their money.

Wait, boss. Is there something
wrong with that wine?

Nothing.

Shame to waste it like that. -I like to waste.

Sell ​​them to me. -It's not for sale.

Can I smell? -Good.

Smell only, do not lick.

I can't bear it. Why can't I drink it?

Which can. If you do something for me.
Then you drink as much as you want.

I'll think about it.

What's with the old one
today? He cleaned it up here.

He also cooked.

Not bad.

What? Are you trying to kill me?
-Don't sneak up on me anymore, okay?

Just bad luck. Where were
you? -Are you concerned about me?

I care about my cart. She is not yet insured.

I'm hungry. Let's eat.

How does the food taste? -Good, nice.

Did you find a new wife yet? -That's not easy.

Sure, but I already found one for you.

And she is very strong.

So she can rattle me.

No, no. Washing, cleaning,
cooking, even massaging.

You don't even have to pay a clerk.

That's how I save money.

She also has a big ass. -So what?

Helps with babies.

Grandma will be happy.

Say, if she's ugly, is that okay? -Well, yes.

Your soup. -Thank you.

Is she good?

It is her - I spoke of her.

Come on, look.

She cleaned the house,
cooked this delicious food.

Why are you standing up? Take a seat.

Not that side, sit here.

Fei Yung, lieveling.

Stop. I'm done with it.

Smile. Smile.

Fei Yung, baby.

Your smile is horrible, just bizarre.

Not true, she's lovely.

She's ugly. Repulsive like a giant toad.

Her left side is ugly,

if you are on her right she is very beautiful.

So you think she's beautiful.
Well friend, you can have her.

Thank you. -What?

In fact, I don't care what you look like.

But you almost drove that sword
into me and almost sent me to jail

Don't get so mad.

I'm doing this for your benefit.
-What have you done?

Ugly mutt. -Are you upset?

Yes of course.

I'll teach you some respect.

You're scared, aren't you?

It's you.

you didn't even say goodbye.
you got me in trouble.

No games.

Come back, monster, I'll treat you right.

Is that the monster I need to catch?

That is him. Catch him quickly.

He's coming at you. You catch him.

He's poisonous. -Glad he didn't hit us.

I know what to do with it.

I'll give you my magic pill. Mouth open.

It hurts.

let go, let go,

Come on.

Become.

Come here.

He doesn't see us. This is a magical blanket.

Old friend, you ran away quickly.
-You're done. Come on.

Don't fret so much. Don't always think the worst.

You asked for it yourself. You always follow me.

If you didn't, this wouldn't
have happened to you.

And you, old fool.

If you hadn't brought her
back, this wouldn't have happened.

coupler. Look what you did. You make her uglier.

Then do something.

I think I can help, but
I don't feel like it right now.

I'm sorry I was wrong.

Walk around a bit. Come back by dawn.

You'll see the results, huh.

Hop, go.

When the poison reaches
the heart, she's finished.

This calls for special handling, one of my best.

She has to be really scared first.

Li Hoi!

I'm here to rape you.

Buddha sees you.

he will avert his eyes, believe me.

Buddha, forgive me. I'm just doing a favor.

Have a look here. What do you say to this?

Come on, it wasn't that bad.

Have a look.

I have got you. wrong.

Where is it?

Maybe on her back.

There you are.

Success.

Good morning. Get dressed.

What have you done to me?

No worries. I took good care of you.

rapist. Dirty old man.

I did it on purpose.

You could be my father. Dirty bastard.

You misunderstand.

I took care of you, your face I mean.

I will kill you.

You made me uglier than before.

Don't despair. I have yet to do the last step.

I scrape it.

Last night I threatened to rape you to scare you.

Once the old skin is gone,
your face will be beautiful again.

Why didn't you just say that?

If you knew, it couldn't work.

And finished.

Just go and have a look.

Do not be afraid.

You can do magic.

Are you OK? are you ok?

I'm just happy to see you happy.

Get changed.

When he returns, a surprise awaits him.

I leave.

You can't go yet.

At least wait for the boy to get back.

He doesn't like me. I better go.

But, he's here.

Morning.

You. -It's Li Hoi.

She's gorgeous.

I leave. Please let me pass.

Where do you want to go?

Finished, finished. -What's over?

She wants to leave.

Wait, you can't go. I'm taking you to Grandma's.

I'm not good enough. I'm ugly as a toad.

You misunderstood me.

I am the ugly toad, but
I will turn into a prince.

And my smile is hideous.

A mistake. You have a very sweet smile.

You must forgive me. If only because of him.

Leave me out of it. I don't need any favors.

Damn drunk, I'll deal with you later.

But still I would like to
have someone who drinks with me.

So please stay. Come say yes.

Brother, your daughter has guts.

She helps the outsiders fight me.

Bring that boy here before midnight.

If not, are you and your
daughter dead, understand?

Stop before your hands get rough. Let me help.

Leave me alone.

Do you want to do it? Then wash uncle's clothes.

Your method doesn't work.
Look closely, a new way.

What are you doing? Damn, you destroyed it.

Yes, old man, but without
you I wouldn't have these problems.

Don't get rude to elders.

The way you talk, you like him.
-That is none of your business.

Do you think you are the only girl?

Girls galore, I just ignore them.

Then why are you doing this to yourself?
-I'll show you one in a minute.

He just resists. He'll be right back.

You are so beautiful, give me a kiss.

Heavens, stop.

Stop, don't poke me, or I'll leave you.

I'll try, ma'am.

Show me.

Vis.

Naughty boy.

Fei Yung, do I not exist? -Are you mad?

I chase her away.

She's fake.

You two are the same.

How do you mean? - You are jealous of each other.

You love her very much and she loves you.

Do you guys just want to
get married and stop fighting?

Vader.

daddy-in-law.

Son-in-law, let me send you to heaven.

Father. -Dumb girl.

Master Li, what did they do
wrong? Why are you so mad at them?

Drunkard. It's none of your business, so shut up.

It does concern me. I
get my wine when they marry.

Then go down with me.

Knock him down. I'll take care of cover.

Stop. You will burn yourself.

What is it, devil?

It breathes fire. -The fire doll.

You are smart.

Aim low, I'll take the back.

Take it off me.

My God, it stinks.

Father, stop it, he's your son-in-law after all.

Nonsense. Are you standing up for him?

I want to marry him. You can't hurt him.

Right. She's always right.

The water dragon.

We put out your fire, just wait.

No water.

It's over so fast. Guess
what, it's not a cash cow.

You're on it. Now you are being roasted.

Stay here. I get water.

Father, don't do this.

I've got it.

What are you saying? -again.

Aim at him.

You are soaked with wine.
You catch fire if I want to.

Father, are you unharmed?

Your face. -Uncle healed it.

The monster forced me. -Where is he?

In the Devil's Cave, five miles from here.

We're going to find him. -Guard.

He uses strange flute music
to control the fighting toad.

It's deadly. Watch out.

Help. Get me out of here.

old friend, do you know
how much effort you put into me?

You come back with me.

you don't leave this cave alive.

Your music sounded awful the last time.

Today I will teach you how to play that flute.

I suck your life out of your body.

That does not help.

Come on, blow.

One man orchestra.

my beautiful music drowns
out your monotonous blowing.

Already bloated?

I'm out of breath.

Get out.

Check inside. -Good.

Old friend. Stay alive for me.

If you die, I'll be in huge trouble.

He will have exploded.
What to tell them? I'm doomed.

I'm sorry for you. You failed in your mission.

But now Grandma can say it.
Come to my wedding, okay?

I need a drink.

Bow to the sky. And then for your parents.

I am really happy today.

Not me. - Now bow to each other.

What are you doing here? Nobody called you.

Enter the bedroom.

Wait a second.

The bride has to undergo our family test first.

Be prepared.

This is ridiculous.

What's ridiculous?

You asked my son to walk on nails

and jump on fire.

So why shouldn't your daughter take a test?

Don't panic. I'm here.

Not bad.

We can go to bed now, I mean the bedroom.

She passed. she can go now.

Thanks to. Thanks to.

Do not dissapoint me. -Grandma, trust me.

Give me a kiss.

Okay, I'm sorry.

What is happening?

Ma'am, I better say goodbye.

You don't have to stay.

Let's have a drink, darling. For you.

My God, it's you.

He shows her all the positions.

What kind of position is that?

They do it on the floor.

What are you doing here? Back inside.

He tries very hard, especially my grandson.

Monster, I'd be so happy if you were here.

Why are they making so much noise?

Watch out. I'll get you.

grandma.

Wait for me. -A killer is chasing me.

Curious where you can go now.

If you're smart, you'll come back.

I am devilish. I destroy all that is good.

The sword.

Three rings together. One connect them.
How to solve this?

The right ring is the key.

Like you use a chain.

next to it.

Blood. I need blood.

I'm not sure yet.

Use your hands.

The center ring is the key.

Nine together, I've never seen that.

Lend me your seat belt.

My nose.

You tie him up.

Ram him. -Right.

You missed.

Blood. Blood.

How heavy are they.

Here are your rings.

I'll cut you to pieces.

No.

If he dies, I too am doomed.

Take this monster away.
I don't want it in the house.

Many thanks.

Do you still want to run?

Translation by Gutte.

Repair and Synchronization by
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