Thunder in Paradise (1993) - full transcript

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♪ hot day in paradise ♪

♪ bodies in the sun ♪

♪ rumble in the distance ♪

♪ hurricane ahead ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ thunder ♪



♪ Thunder in paradise ♪

♪ lightning striking twice ♪

♪ mess with thunder ♪

♪ and you pay the price ♪

♪ thunder in paradise ♪

♪ some sacrifice ♪

♪ mess with thunder ♪

♪ pay the price ♪

♪ yeah ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ oh ♪

♪ never had a night
like this ♪

♪ been kissed
by a hurricane ♪



♪ ohh ♪

♪ hot day in paradise ♪

♪ sails blazing
in the sun ♪

♪ waves giving you
a warning ♪

♪ trim the sail and run ♪

♪ run! Run! ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ whoa ♪

♪ ahh ♪

♪ whoa, I never had
a night like this ♪

♪ been kissed
by a hurricane ♪

♪ whoa, by a hurricane ♪

♪ better run for cover ♪

♪ you've run out of luck ♪

♪ you violated nature ♪

♪ your thunder struck ♪

[Clears throat]

Coming up on 5 miles
to Cuban waters.

Mark.

Monitor transmission's
clear.

Circle detection,
clear.

[Snorts]

Sinuses clear.

I told you to warn me
before you sneeze.

Roger that.

Incoming.

Ah-choo!

I'm sorry.

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ thunder in paradise ♪

♪ thunder ♪

[Both speaking Spanish]

[Laughter]

[Speaking Spanish]

[Speaking Spanish]

[Speaking Spanish]

[Speaking Spanish]

Coming up on 2 miles
to Cuban waters. Mark.

Let's see what
you're made of.

Computer: Auto pilot engaged.

This should be
a night rescue.

You're worrying again.

The stealth will work.

It will work this time.

I guarantee it.

Their radar will not
see US coming.

The only thing
I'm worried about

is whether you're gonna
see anything coming

with that eye of yours.

I can see better
with one eye

than you can see
with two.

Oh, that why you saw
kawalski's fist

coming at you, when he
sucker punched you.

I'll take care of kawalski
when we get back.

Don't worry.
An eye for an eye.

Computer: Stealth engaged.

Yes! We are
undetectable, my friend.

And 3, 2, 1.
Entering Cuban waters.

Mark.

[Beeping]

Ha ha ha.
Nobody sees US.

No radio transmissions
about US. Nothing.

Nada, niente,
ningún, zip.

Working, as guaranteed.

What are you doing?

Guaranteeing
your guarantee.

[Speaking Spanish]

[Speaking Spanish]

[Clears throat
and sniffs]

Computer: Stealth
malfunction.

Status,
radar vulnerable.

What?

This sort of thing happens
with prototypes, you know.

I told you. I told you.

Stealth is not an easy thing
to maintain, my friend.

Aw, damn!
Ok, I screwed up.

All right, I'm sorry.
We'll abort the mission.

No, we won't.

Spence, there are
a lot of angry,

die-hard communists
out there

with large
automatic weapons.

And now they know
we're coming.

I promised palma we'd get
his wife and son out.

The entire Cuban army
is about to go on full alert.

It doesn't matter.
If they're caught,

Castro can use them
to force palma

back from the states
and execute him.

We pick up Mariel
and Alfredo as planned.

Spence...

I should know better
than to argue with you.

All right, let me get you
some satellite help.

[Indistinct shouting]

[Shouting in Spanish]

[Bell dings]

Come on. Come on,
sweetheart. Come on.

Computer: Satellite lock
completed.

Aw, there we go.

[Computer beeps]

Ha ha ha.

Computer hackers,
they're nothing.

Like gnats
on an elephant's butt.

Satellite hacking,

that is the true test
of skill, my friend.

Not just getting in,

but getting
in control. Yeah!

[Computer beeping]

How do you eat
that stuff

at a time like this?

Complex carbs.

Kick in like rocket fuel.

[Computer beeping]

Yes!

There it is.

Puerto manati,
our destination resort.

You see those soldiers?

Thunder will
lock in to anyone

who fires
a weapon at you.

Thunder will
lock in to anyone

who even points
a weapon at you.

Like in those toothpaste
commercials, you know?

Where the fluoride
zeroes in

on the plaque
and the tartar.

It's an analogy.

Just let me know
if the plaque and tartar

are hiding
on my blind side.

You got it, bro.

[Beeping]

[Shouts in Spanish]

[Indistinct chatter]

Spence.

Spence, buddy,
mucho activity out there.

You sure you want to go
through with this?

Just cover me, bru.

Don't blow your nose.

Ready for launch?
Ready.

On my Mark.

And 3, 2, 1,

launch.

[Gunshots]

[Man shouting
in Spanish]

Ahh!

[Gunshots]

Hurricane!
No!

[Yelling in Spanish]

[Speaking Spanish]

Bru, take over on remote.
I'm going in.

You got it, brother.

[Beeping]

Thunder: Radar locked.

[Beeping]

Spence, make it
snappy, man.

We got a whole flock
of Soviet-made

werewolf gunships
headed our way.

E.t.a., 8 minutes.

[Man speaking Spanish]

[Grunting]

Aah!

Hey!

Bru, draw their fire.

What the hell
do you think I'm doing?

[Man yells in Spanish]

[Woman speaking Spanish]

Thunder: Proximity warning.

Spence, they're
on the street to your left,

approximately 20 yards.

There's an overpass
10 o'clock.

[Men speaking Spanish]

[High-pitched beeping]

[Men speaking Spanish]

[Gunshots continues]

Mariel, stay close to me.

Is my husband safe?

You're husband's ok.
And you'll be together soon.

Let's go. Come on.

Thunder: Targeting.

You shooting at me?
Well, chew on this.

Uh!

[Screams]

[Screeching]

Ba-boom!

Ha ha!

[High-pitched beeping]

[Women scream]

[Gunshots]

Spence! Spence, buddy!

Lots of plaque and tartar
on your blind side.

Got it.

All: Whoa!

Bru, send trigger.

Come on.

You got it, Roy.

Trigger heading
back to you.

Come on. Come on.

[Man speaking
Spanish]

Hurricane: Stay low.

Hold on.

Get them out of there.
I'll cover you.

I'll pick you up
outside of the bay.

Thunder: Target locked.

[Beeps]

Aah!

[Indistinct yelling]

[Speaking Spanish]

Ahh!

Mariel and Alfredo
strapped in tight?

Done deal.
Autopilot off.

Thunder: Verified.

How do we look?

See those gunships?

Like a sitting duck.

But wait till they see
what comes out

of this Mallard's
tail feathers.

They won't pursue US
past Cuban waters.

Let's breathe fire.

Sounds good to me.

[Beep]

Full thrust commitment
on my Mark.

3, 2, 1, Mark.

Thunder: Hydro-thruster
malfunction.

Malfunction.

Aw, come on.

[Beeping]

Aw, come on, baby.

Forget I called you
a prototype.

You are the real deal.

Their missiles are
armed.

They're going
duck hunting, man.

[Indistinct chanting]

Yeah!

[Engine accelerates]

Ha ha ha.

Just like our old
Navy seal days,

huh, partner?

You bruise 'em,
I lose 'em.

Hey!

Announcer: Continental
airlines flight 597,

from tampa to Houston,
now boarding at gate 12.

All passengers
holding tickets

on continental airlines
flight 59--

[indistinct chatter]

[Woman squeals
and laughs]

[Laughter]

Woman: You, whoo!

Welcome to the paradise
beach hotel, sir.

♪ They call me
groove master ♪

♪ master blaster ♪

♪ do you wanna
groove some more? ♪

♪ We goin' to move
some more ♪

♪ move some more ♪

♪ I make music
to elevate your spirit ♪

♪ do you wanna
groove some more? ♪

♪ Come on,
let's move some more ♪

♪ move some more ♪

♪ do you want to have
a nice time? ♪

♪ Come on,
let's have a nice time ♪

♪ all night ♪

♪ all night ♪

♪ everybody groove ♪

♪ let your body move ♪

♪ everybody groove ♪

♪ let your body move ♪

♪ swing left ♪

♪ swing right ♪

♪ do it now,
you'll feel all right ♪

♪ keep on groovin' ♪

♪ keep on groovin' ♪

♪ keep on groovin' ♪

♪ keep on groovin' ♪

♪ everybody groove ♪

♪ let your body move ♪

♪ everybody groove ♪

♪ let your body move ♪

[Scatting]

[Scatting]

♪ Keep on groovin' ♪

♪ keep on groovin' ♪

[Scatting]

[Scatting]

♪ Keep on groovin' ♪

♪ keep on groovin' ♪

[Cheering]

What can I get for you?

I could use a cold beer.

And some hot gossip.

I need a back page
for tomorrow's edition.

I'll get you
the cold beer, Max.

Hey, Kelly,
Kelly, come on.

Around here, you know
who's doing what to who.

Give me a taste.

Point me in a direction.

Ok, Max,
for a fellow new yorker.

Ok. Ha ha ha.

You see that guy
over there,

the one with
the two gidgets?

[No audio]

Edward Whitaker.

His step-brother's family
built the hotel.

When he died last year,
he left it

to his daughter Megan.

So Megan's his niece?

There you go,

but Edward was
executer of the will.

Now he's going around saying
there's some kind of clause

that gonna allow him
to take over the hotel.

If what I hear
about Megan's true,

he's in for one
hell of a fight.

What do you think i'm
telling you about it, Max?

When you write about this,
you got to take Megan's side.

Or I'll poison your beer.

Hey, Kelly,
I'm impartial.

So what do you prefer,

arsenic or strychnine?

Ha ha ha.

Used to ride horses,
you know,

along these beaches.

I don't think
they allow it now.

Uh, cheers to you both.

Thank you, Heather.
Thank you, Aaliyah.

Mmm.

I've know I couldn't
trust you, since I was 6

and caught you with your
hand in my Halloween bag.

I was merely making sure

there were no
razor blades in it.

Squid.

Hag.

Snake.
Witch.

Rat.

Lovely ladies,
excuse me for a moment.

I have some
family business

that needs attending to.
But we'll continue this...

Later.

You're disgusting.

You're upset.

What's this about you
taking over my hotel?

I was merely
honoring the terms

of your father's will.

You swore to me you'd never
enforce that clause.

Ye--yes, I know.
But the more I pondered it,

the more I realized
that your dear father

put it there
for your own good.

And I promised him
I'd look after you.

Ha ha ha.

I am not going to let
you sell off this hotel

to some corporate chain
who'll squash it's history

into a brochure.

It's going to stay
in the family.

And that's what I
promised my father.

Then you should've honored
the terms of his will.

They were very explicit.

I still have 2 days.

Ha ha ha. Megan,
it's too late.

The clause is
very carefully worded.

There's no possible way
that you could get married

in the next 48 hours.

Let's not argue.
After all, we're family.

That's a birth defect
I'll have to live with.

[Cheering and clapping]

Ahh. Want to see
your dad?

Hop on up.

Señora palma,
watch your step.

Way to go, partner.

All right, man.
Ha ha.

Whoo!

[Laughter]

Hey, hurricane.

Not a scratch on you.

Ahh, the mission
went perfect.

Hey, bru.

Hiya, sweetheart.

This one must've been
a piece of cake.

Walk in the park.

A day at the office.

A stroll on the beach.

Uh...

A um...

Buzz.
Buzz.

Both: You lose.

So how's your eye?

Ahh, it's a lot better.

Can I see it?

Naw, you don't want to.

Yes, I do.

Ew!

Does it hurt?
Can you see?

No, it's ok.
Give me 5.

Keep the change. Ha!

You know, after they
turned down

my idea for thunder,

I decided
to leave the Navy

and build her myself.

Is that when you
talked bru

into designing
the systems?

Yeah.
Our Navy seal team

threw US
a going away party,

got me totally drunk,

and shoved me
in a tank

with a shark that
hadn't been fed

for 3 weeks.
Ew!

What happened?

Well, the shark opened
its mouth real wide

and went for my side.
Ew!

But I slipped behind it.

Then I grabbed
its dorsal.

It whacked me
with its tail.

And we flip flopped
all over the tank.

Wow!

Then I got my hand
inside its Gill,

the other on its dorsal,

and I yanked as hard
as I could.

What happened then?

Well, you know that sound
that velcro makes

when you rip it apart?

[Imitates ripping sounds]

Ecch!

Blood and shark guts
everywhere.

And something else...

What else? What?

A human hand!

[Yelps]

Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha.

Ever since then,

I've been filleting
my own sharks.

You never know
what you'll find

inside the belly
of a beast.

Ha ha ha.

Let's see what's
inside our little friend.

[Squishing]

Yuck!

Whoa!

Ha ha ha.

Must've been
a small car, huh?

Ahh! Uh!

Whoa!

The more junk they eat,
the better they taste.

[Grunts]

[Squishing]

What's that?

[Water running]

Oh!

Wow!

Looks like a necklace
or something.

Here, a present
from me and the shark.

Thanks, hurricane.

I got to get cleaned up.

I'll let my buddies
fillet this thing.

Come on, let's fly
to the scuttlebutts.

Fly? What do you mean?

Fly.

[Laughter]

Wow, that's cool.

Whoa! Ha ha

my uncle's serious,
Kelly.

He plotted
this entire thing.

Waited till
the last minute.

I should've known
he'd try and steal

my hotel away from me.

He's not gonna get it.

Hey, what's the matter?

Max, I need your camera.

[No audio]

Hurricane: Whoa!

[Laughter]

Uh-oh.

I thought mom would be
inside working.

Don't worry, Jess.
You're with me.

She knows you're
in good hands.

R.j. Spencer,
you are the most

reckless, irresponsible

juvenile delinquent
of a man

I have ever met
in my entire life.

You lead a sheltered life,
what can I say?

Jessica, please, go
and wait for me inside.

Where did you get
that necklace?

From Spence.
It's brass.

It was inside of a shark.

Don't worry,
it was dead.

You gave
my daughter something

you found
inside a dead fish?

Mom, he washed it
off first.

I'm sorry
if you think parasailing

is too dangerous
for Jess.

Next time, I'll ask
your permission.

See you later, squirt.

Ahh!

I was hoping
you'd be here.

How's it going, Nicole?

Hmm. Never had
a better day, hurricane.

Why don't we go
lay this down by the dunes

and I'll show you
how exciting

a parachute ride can be.

Ha ha. Lead the way.

Ah, my lovely mercruisers,

you performed
exceptionally today!

But as for the rest of you,

I'm disappointed! You
have been a very bad boat.

You think you can show me
a little glimpse

of your abilities
and then cover 'em up?

Well, let me tell you
something, my friend.

There is a reason
that I graduated

first in my class at m.I.T.,

there is a reason
that I was the sole designer

for the r-15 systems
for the Navy,

so if you think
you can humiliate me

in front of my best friend
like you did today,

you are sorely mistaken,
do you understand?

Huh? Huh? Hello?
I can't hear you!

I hope we don't have to
have this discussion again.

And now,

Time to bond.

Gotcha.

[Whistling]

Hey, Spence!

Missed a good
workout, brother.

Wow. Beautiful day.

Hey, buddy.

They made
their decision.

Huh?

They made
their decision.

Who made
what decision?

The Navy.

They gave the contract
to a company

with a similar prototype.

What?

No, no, no way,

there's nothing
similar to thunder.

Let me see this.

You know
what this is?

This is the
government.

This is the government

keeping those
big, dinosaur,

bilge-builders
in business.

It's all
political economics,

it has nothing to do
with the best design!

This really
pisses me off.

I tried fighting
the system, I lost.

You what?

I lost.

You what?

How can you just say
"I lost" so calmly?

You sunk everything
you own into that boat!

You're in hock
over your eyes!

Which is very high.

You got bank loans
lined up like dominoes,

one to pay off the other
to pay off the other,

without the chance
of a contract, brother,

they're gonna
foreclose on you.

They already have.

The bank's repossessing
thunder next Friday.

Oh, boy.

There's gotta be
something we can do.

You know, I can't
remember a time

when I wasn't fighting.

For something,
against something,

I think I'm finally
punched out, bru.

Punched out?

Punched out, bro.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Aw, bru!

Aw, god,
you hurt me, bru!

Aw! Ohh!

Bru! Argh!

You all right?

Yeah.

[Both laughing]

You dog.

Hey, bru, I'm sorry.

Oh, all punched out, huh?
I think not.

I think we're just
holding ourselves back.

Don't do it, bru.

Oh, you bet
I'm gonna do it.

Don't get me fired up,

I'm all tired.

Get you all fired up,
you all tired, man?

You listen
to me, brother,

we put too much blood, sweat,
and tears into that boat

to just lie down.

If that was your son,

would you let somebody
take him from you

without a fight? Huh?

You're doing it.

You're damn right I am.

Oh, hey, I didn't even
have time to tell you.

Guess who's over
at the scuttlebutt?

Name Kowalski ring a bell?

Now do you want me
to go there all by myself

and tell that cheapshot artist

that you're all punched out?

Kowalski?

Yeah.

Are you sure?
Yeah.

You bet I'm sure.
You sure?

He's bragging how
he turned hurricane Spencer

into a little puff of wind!

He's saying how
you're a summer breeze!

He's saying how you're
a little mild spring Zephyr!

This is a nightmare.

What are
we going to do?

Well, this was from
my fourth husband.

He was my very favorite.

Lola, a ring on my finger

is not going
to fool uncle Edward.

By itself, no.

Megan, dear,

how much are
you willing to do

to keep this hotel?

What?

Well...

Maybe there's
someone out there

who's just
right for you.

Marry someone
by Saturday?

But who?

R.j. "Hurricane"
Spencer.

I am desperate,

but I am not
that desperate.

When a man
gets a woman

as hot and bothered
as Spence gets you,

he's not just pushing
the old buttons.

He's turning you on.

Besides,

Jess is gonna have to
like this guy too.

Yeah, Kelly is right.

And Jessie's
crazy about Spence.

There you go.

Are you both insane?

Besides,

the one thing that
r.J. "Hurricane" Spencer

like more than that
monstrous thunderboat of his

is his precious freedom.

Wrong!

I happen to know

that r.J. Would
give up his freedom

long before he'd ever
give up that boat.

Oh, I love that
wicked smile.

You know something.

Brubaker will tell me
anything I need to know

to get me to
go out with him.

Let's just say Spence
is on the hook.

All we gotta do
is reel him in.

No!

No, no, no, no, no!

Meg!

No!

Hyaaah!

You lost, so gimme that money!
[Crazed laughing]

I'm the champ! I'm the best!

What are you looking at?

Do you think that's funny?

I'm the champ! I'm the best!

What's wrong with you?

Well!

What is this?

Cyclops!

Come on, get a piece
of me, baby!

You want the money, chump?
Hah!

A cyclops!

You want me
to poke your eye out?

What do you want?

You want a piece of me, chump?

An eye,

for an eye!

In your face, baby.

No way. No way,
I can't do this.

Oh, remember the hotel?

All right,
you go.

Spencer.

There is something

I would like to
discuss with you.

Shoot.

In private,
if you don't mind.

I'm dressed,
I'm ready,

I will be there
in 5 minutes.

Thank you.

Look, what's this all about,

'cause I'm running
a little late.

Seems you're running
late on a lot of things.

How far behind on your
bank loan are you?

If I'm going
to put up the money,

I need to know

how much
it's going to cost me.

Why would you put up
the money for my loan?

How much?

$93,000.

All right.

I might be willing
to put up that amount.

If?

If, you...

If I...?

Marry me.

Say that again?

You have to marry me.

Wait a minute.

Let me get
this straight.

You're willing to
pay me to marry you?

If you don't get the money,

you lose your boat.

If I don't get married,

I lose my hotel.

I thought you were
the hopeless romantic

who'd never marry for
anything but true love.

And that is exactly
what I'm doing.

Don't look so smug.

I love my hotel.

And I'm even
willing to marry you

in order to save it.

Beggers can't
be choosers, huh?

Desperate people
do desperate things, huh?

How does marrying me
save your hotel?

It fulfills a condition
of my father's will.

I have to be married
within 36 hours.

It would be
a mutually beneficial

business arrangement,
that is all.

So,

do we have a deal,
or not?

I'll let you know.

When?

Hey, gin and tonic,
please.

I mean, first
the stealth malfunction,

then I couldn't maintain
full thrust commitment,

it's--

well, commitment's
a tough one.

You know, I feel like
this whole thing is my fault.

How so?

Did I ever tell you
that Spence saved my life?

Took a bullet in his chest
that was coming at me.

That bullet would
have killed me.

Now, I don't know,

I feel like
I'm killing his dream.

Well, everyone
has a dream

that'll never come true.

Do you?

Tell me your dream.

No way!

Aw, come on.
Tell me your dream.

No, it's--

stupid.

Besides, it'll never
come true anyways, so--

tell me your dream,

and I'll tell you my dream.

Come on.

Talk to bru.

Ok.

Ever since I was a kid,

I wanted to go to Italy,

to Florence,

and apprentice myself
out to an artist,

and sculpt nudes
out of carrara marble.

Like Michelangelo's
David.

There is nothing
in the world as sensual

as running your hands

over the contours
of the marble.

Closing your eyes
and feeling

the smooth,
cool texture,

it's rough-hewn
strength.

I told you
it was stupid.

No! No, no,
not at all.

It was, it was, um,

listen, if you ever need
a model, I could--

well, what's yours?

My what?
Your dream!

My dream?

Oh, you, oh, my dream!

Um, oh, it's, um,

it's similar to your--

I mean, it's not about
marble or anything, it's,

it's about, um, a real--

woman.

Actually, it's
about you, Kelly.

I dream about
the two of US,

connecting.

In a, uh...

Conjugal kind of way.

Well, there you go.

Like I said.

Some dreams will
never come true.

Bad day.

Ok, you got a deal.

Let's go somewhere where
we can work out the details.

Not just yet.

Here.

Take the ring!

Propose to me.
What?

Ask me to marry you.

Now?

In front of everybody?

You can get on your
knees if you like.

Don't push it.

My uncle has
eyes everywhere,

the more people that
witness this, the better.

So do it properly.

Marry me.

Louder.

Marry me.

Louder, with feeling!

You want feeling?

You want louder,
with feeling?

Marry me!

I can't keep my feelings
a secret any longer.

I want everyone to know
how much I love you,

how much I need you,

how I can't
live without you.

Put me down.

I was stupid
not to say yes

when you begged me to
marry you a month ago.

I hope it's
not too late!

No! No it's
not! Darling!

And I love you too.

I can't believe it!

I can't believe it,

Spence is
gonna be my dad.

This is what
I've always wanted!

Hey Spence, I
can't believe this!

[Applause and cheering]

Woman: All right.
Ha ha ha.

Man: Get your stuff
stowed away.

[Grunting]

Easy. Easy.

Man: Got room
for 2 more?

Second man: Yeah,
6-foot pallets...

Ok, merremoto,
do your stuff.

[Muttering]

[Indistinct chatter]

Man, I'd like to keep
one of these suckers

for whaling.

Spot a humpback
off the starboard,

poof!
Ha ha ha.

Launch this thing
into his back.

[Imitates bomb blasting]

Kablooey.
Ha ha ha.

Man: Hey, Dave.
I got 6 more for you.

[Bell dings]

Go ahead and move
that hatch over.

[Bell dings]

I think this looks
pretty good

if I do say so
myself.

Why don't
you take a look

and tell me
what you think.

We're on
the last crate.

Should be ready
to weigh anchor before dark.

Hoo-ah!

Oh, Mr. Kilmer.

I would have never
recognized you.

Heh heh heh.
Yeah, she did it again.

Look, these clients are
going to have to wait

a couple days
for their weapons.

We got a little
business here

we have to take care of.

Things are still
pretty hot in town.

I mean, after
that little thing

we pulled off today.

Well, last place
they're gonna look for US

is at
the paradise beach hotel.

Won't take long,
just make sure

you keep all the men
on the ship.

Yes, sir.

So tell me, baby,

why is this little
girl so fascinating?

Ohh, it's not her,
it's this.

Her necklace?

Many years ago
when I didn't have any money,

I worked on a trawler
for an ex-convict.

We headed to one
of these islands out here,

which only he
and the captain knew.

They got drunk one night,

and they showed US
a necklace--

4 strands of
square brass beads.

He graphically described

cutting somebody's throat
for it,

said it was the key
to a fortune worth millions.

Before we got
to the islands,

we went down
in a storm.

The convict drowned,

so'd the captain
and everyone else,

except me.

And here it is,
right here.

Found in the belly
of a shark.

[Chuckles]

But how is it worth
millions?

Well, baby, first
we have to get it.

Mm-hmm.

And then we will find out.

Hurricane:
Hi. I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Mm-mmm.

[Sighs]

I love you, darling.

[Hums]

Darling, I love you.

And I love you.

Ahh! I can't do this!

Oh, come on, Spence.

We didn't even get
to the kiss.

Brother, brother,
brother, relax.

If you can't
convince me,

how you gonna convince
200 people down there?

Should I be wearing
sunglasses, a patch?

I think my eye's
getting better.

What do you think?

Let me see.

Yeah. Yeah.
Looks pretty good.

Now, listen. Did you
take care of business?

Soon as we tie
the knot, huh,

Megan pays
off the loan.

My main man.

Yeah. Heh heh.

How about
community property?

Community what?

Property.

Spence,
community property.

After the two of you
are married,

everything you own
becomes half hers,

including thunder!

How'd you handle it?

God. I didn't even
think about it.

Well, you better think
about it

'cause here comes
the hot kiss at the end

of the wet fist?

What the heck does
that mean?

[Doorbell rings]

Ah, saved
by the bell.

Community property.

Hold that thought.

[Door closes]

Nicole. Nicole.
N-N-Nicole.

Nic--guess who?

I heard
the unattainable's

about to
become attained.

I had to come and see
with my own eyes

because, ugh, I just
could not believe it.

You're not alone.

How's it going,
Nicole?

Well, I'm depressed!

What can Megan Whitaker
give you that I can't?

It's complicated.

[Sighs]

Well, the least I can do
is kiss the groom.

Mmm.

Mmm.

[Door opens, closes]

Ha ha ha. Megan.
Megan!

You know it's very
bad luck for the groom

to see the bride
before the wedding.

It's even worse luck
for the bride, Megan,

Megan,

to see the groom
before...

The...wedding.

[Sighs]

Perfect.
Yeah.

Ah, now, honey, don't go
getting jealous.

I was just giving him
a little something

to remember me by.

If you're not out
of here in 5 seconds,

I'll give you something
to remember me by.

[Chuckles]

That's...

Your honeymoon starts
getting boring...

You know
where to find me.

She's a charming girl.

I know what part of your
body's done the thinking

until today.

Community
property.

But starting here
and now,

you better use
your brain.

We need
a prenuptial agreement

eliminating
community property.

If my uncle is here,

and if he proves this
is a marriage

of anything other than
true love and devotion,

quote, unquote,

we both lose everything.

I keep what's mine,
you keep what's yours.

So you better make
this convincing.

He's working on it.

We have a lot riding
on this, the both of US.

Don't blow it.

She didn't hear
a word I said.

You know...
[Sighs]

You're one hell
of a negotiator.

Matches your eye.

[Scoffs]

[Indistinct chatter]

Welcome to
the paradise beach hotel.

Wait for me on
the north side of the hotel.

All right.

[Tropical music playing]

[Scoffs]

[Sighs]

Please, uh,
join hands.

Marriage is
a blessed event,

a bonding of 2 souls

in celebration
of their deep...

About
community property.

I don't want any.

You're not getting it.

...of beauty
and strength.

It's only 50%.

I want controlling
interest of thunder.

Drop dead.

51% or I'll walk
and you'll have nothing.

And neither will you.

A ribbon of love...

Without leverage,
I'd have nothing anyway.

Do you,
Megan Irene Whitaker...

I'll say no.

You're bluffing.

Try me.

...to love
and to Cherish

till death do you part?

I do.

Uh, do you,
Randolph...

On one condition.

I want 51%.

Of the hotel?
When hell freezes.

Of the starboard.

...Cherish till death
do you part?

Never.

Then I'll say no.

You wouldn't dare.

Leverage works
both ways.

Ohh.

I do.

Uh, good.

And if anyone knows
of any reason

why these 2 people
should not be married,

let him speak now,

or forever hold
his peace.

This marriage
is a deception and a fraud!

Woman: What?

It's based on
commercial enterprise,

not love.

And I shall reveal it
as such.

Finish the ceremony.

And, um, uh--

oh, the ring!

Uh, do you have
the ring?

Psst.

Here.

Now, uh, repeat
after me.

With this ring,
I thee wed.

With this ring,
I thee wed.

I know pronounce you,
uh, husband and wife.

[Wedding march plays]

[Applause]

[Blows nose]

All you got to do
is bring her to me

on the beach.
All right?

Hello, little girl.

You look lovely

and what a beautiful
necklace.

May I look at it?

Yeah.

It came from inside
of a shark.

Ohh.

Really?

You know, I bet you
would like to know

where it was before it
was in that shark, hmm?

Do you know?

No, no, no.

I don't,
but my husband does.

He's a jewelry expert,

so why don't we go show
it to him and find out.

Hmm?

Ok.

[Indistinct chatter]

Who's your little
friend, honey?

What--what can you tell
this little girl

about her necklace?

Well, we're gonna have
to get a closer look.

Let me see.

Well, that's--

let me see.
Brass beads,

about 10 years old.

Afraid it's not worth
very much,

but I'll give you $20
for it, all right?

That means it's worth
a lot more.

[Laughs]
She's pretty smart.

You're very smart.

Ok.

$100 for it.

No thanks.

My dad gave it to me,
so I'd never sell it.

Bye-bye.

Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

Now, that's special
to you, is it?

Yes.

And you don't want
to lose it?

No.

It's a little bit loose.

How about if
I tighten it for you?

Will you turn around
for me?

Yeah.

Thank you.

My necklace!

Jess, what's wrong?

They stole my necklace!

Stay here.

Aah!

Hurricane: Give me
that necklace!

Unh!

Lola: Aah!
Uhh!

Go down there
and take care of this guy.

Uhh.

Aah!

Why'd you steal
my daughter's necklace?

Uhh!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Uhh!

Break his face.

Uhh!

I need the beads.
Hurry up.

Uhh.

[Grunts]

[Screaming]

Come on, we gotta
get out of here.

Gotta get the beads!

[Groaning]

We gotta go.

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Let him go!

Mom, bru, help!

Jessica!

Hey.

[Grunting]
[Groaning]

Over here.

[Grunts]

[Screaming]

Get the beads!

Let's go, boss.

Hey,
there they are.

Come on!

Terremoto,
move it!

[Groaning]

Man: Get
those guys!

Dad, are you ok?

You
all right?

I think so.

Take it easy,
brother.

Any breaks?

I don't know, man.

But I feel like I just
fell off a beanstalk.

[Tires squeal]

Who was that?
What was that?

They took
my necklace.

It's scattered
everywhere.

Bru, get
a metal detector.

Yeah, yeah. Ok.

Got one.

Way to go.

All right,

so the necklace is
a puzzle of some sort?

But that still
doesn't explain

why those awful people
wanted it so badly.

When we solve the puzzle,
maybe we'll find out.

Got another one.

Way to go.

Unh.

Darling, it's late.

We really should go.

Jessica!

What?
Oh, sorry.

I thought you were
talking to Spence.

Heh heh.

Well, it's your guys'
wedding night.

Got one!

So did I.

Wow.

Maybe it's a happy face,
the eyes and mouth.

No, I've seen this before.

It's a map.

[Coughing]

Oh, those
are islands

off sarasota.

My father used to take
me fishing there.

[Snaps]
You're right.

I know.

Here they are.

[Horn honks]

That's bru and Kelly.

Let's see
what they found out.

The necklace
was probably made

by a convict named
Andrew "the gimp" gilmore

while he was a prisoner
at San Quentin.

That's what the s.Q.
Stands for.

Prisons stamp
every bullet

so they can trace
which guard fired 'em.

Heh heh heh.

She's a pistol,
isn't she?

Check it out.

"T" 3, tower 3.

"Y" 4, yard 4.

There you go.

So who was gilmore?

He was convicted
for masterminding

a $3 million robbery
20 years ago,

but the important thing is,

he was also
the prime suspect

in over a dozen
unsolved robberies.

Biggies.

Museums,
diamond brokers.

Did they ever
find the loot?

The loot?

The haul.

The Booty.
The plunder.

The goods.
Spoils.

The swag.
The stash.

Did they ever recover
any of it?

No. And here's
the topper,

the gimpster was murdered
in the prison's craft shop

after making a necklace
out of bullet casings

for his wife.

That necklace
was never found.

So maybe gimpy
stashed his loot

on one
of these islands.

Bingo.

But there's no
"x" marks the spot.

Yes, there is.

There's a map
on this side, too.

For god's sake, Spence.

Will you give me
a little room here.

Oh.

Hey, check it out.
There is an "x."

Hurricane:
Get thunder ready.

We leave first thing
in the morning.

Hurricane: No.

Megan: Yes.

Forget it.

I'm coming.
You're saying.

I am coming.

I said no.

I said yes.
I said no.

Absolutely,
I am coming.

Ah.
I am coming

because bottom line is
I now own 51% of this boat.

All right already.

You can come,

but no bickering,
no bellyaching,

and no back talk.

I give the orders
and you follow them.

Understood?

Aye, aye, sir.

And when you're through
stowing this away,

I got some more stuff
for you.

Why does he have
to be so churlish?

Churlish?

[Laughs]

[Imitating Megan]
Oh, Spencer,

why do you have to be
so churlish?

[Bang]

[Sighs]

[Engine revs]

Get in.
Let's go.

Come on.

Aah!

It's not fair.

It was my necklace.

I should have gotten
to go the island, too.

Hon, life ain't
about what's fair.

It's about
who wields the power

and 9 year olds don't.

Well, that's not fair,
either.

Well, if they were going
on their honeymoon,

you wouldn't have gone.

Kelly, bru wouldn't
have, either.

Don't bet on that.

Well, maybe doing
something exciting together

will make them
really fall in love.

Well, what do you mean,
Jess?

They're already married.

Why does everybody think
I don't know

what's going on?

I know they got married
because of grandpa's will

and uncle Edward.

Well, so how do you feel
about that?

I feel like Hayley mills
in the parent trap,

except there's only
one of me.

But that should be
enough.

Pssh. More than enough.

Come here, you.

Hey!

Slow down!

Come on.

Ooh!

Put me down!

Put me down!

Thank you so much.

This is a beautiful
drawing, Jessica.

Thanks for solving
the puzzle for me.

Set course.

Latitude, 52 degrees
south.

Ha ha ha!

Longitude, 78 degrees
north.

[Clears throat]

There it is!

Heh heh!

Where is it?
Right there.

There's the island
and the boat.

All right, get the men,
get the weapons,

we're going ashore.

Let's do it.

Oh, yeah.

I'll show you
some thunder.

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah! Let's do this!

Hold it down.

I got it.

Pull it all the way up.

Man: Look alive,
men.

Ha ha ha.

Yeah!

Watch your back.

Move in.

Bru: You know, I kinda feel
like we're on a family outing.

It's around here.

It is over there.

No, I'm telling you,
it's around here.

The "x" was clearly
marked on the map

in the middle
of a pond or lake,

and we passed a lake

way back on the other
side of the island.

[Whistling]

Enough of the love spats,
please.

I'll tell you what,
Megan.

Join me on the rock
over there for high tea.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

She's your wife.

[Sighs]

Oh, god.

Now what's he doing?

Looks to me like
he's climbing a tree.

Get up.

No.

Get up!

Get your own rock.

Whoo!

"X" marks the spot.

Oh, I found it.

Oh!

[Grunts]

That's it.

Spence, we got
an opening, buddy.

Megan:
Push! Push!

I can't.

[Grunting]

Come on! Come on!
Push!

Wow.

Megan, the lake.

Hurricane:
Here come the backpacks.

Ok.

Whoa. Cool.

Send 'em down.

Ahh.

Uhh.

Ahh.

[Sighs]

And the misses?

Ok, I got you, hon.

I got you.
I got you.

Right here.
I got you.

Come on down.

Come on.

[Whimpering]

I got you.
I got you.

[Grunting]

[Coughing]

I got you.

There you go.
Clear the rope.

Whew.

Wow.

Whoa. Heh.

[Megan coughing]

Oh!

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Oh, god. Oh, yuck.

Oh, god! Ouch!

Ow. Uhh.

Yuck.

Aah!

[Weeps]

You're not afraid
of snakes, are you?

I just don't like
disgusting things

crawling up my leg,
that's all.

I'll keep that
in mind.

[Imitating Megan]
Oh, Spencer.

A moment of your time,
please.

[Normal voice]
Check it out, my friend.

[Hurricane laughs]

[Laughs]

Bingo.

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

Oh, man.

[Grunting]

Yes.

Oh, man.
Oh, man.

Ooh, that's heavy.

Oh, boy!

Oh.

Night before Christmas.

Pretty smart
of the old gimpster.

Heat sealing 2 rafts
together

to make a giant
waterproof baggie.

Oh ho ho.
Oh ho ho.

Ha ha.

That vault.

Oh. Oh, man.

Ho ho.

Oh, man.

[Grunts]

Oh, man.

What is it?

Whoa, Spence.
Before we begin,

I just want to say
I'm very excited.

Ha ha ha!

[Gasps]

[Gasps]

Oh, my god.
Ho ho ho.

Oh, my god.

Pearls.

Ohh.

Money!

Ha ha ha.

Who said crime
doesn't pay?

[Gunshots]

Drop your weapons.

He said drop
your weapons. Now!

Can't anybody
listen to me?

I said drop your weapons

or your bride's gonna
be your ex!

That's right.

Drop your weapon,
bru.

Drop the gun!

Good. Now...

Put all your weapons
in the dirt,

stand up slowly.

Man: Ha ha ha.
Yeah.

We got 'em.
We got 'em.

Good.

You're supposed
to be

this great commando.
Do something!

Think you could take her
with you when you leave?

I don't wanna
separate the newlyweds.

I'm violent but i'm
not cruel. Am I cruel?

No. Besides, I've got
her daughter

and her maid of honor
at our ship.

What?
How the hell

do you think we
found you? [Laughter]

You son of a--

if you hurt either of them,

I swear I'll find you

and I'll rip your heart out
through your throat!

Ouch. [Laughs]

Now! You, woman!

Move here!

Move!
Your body now!

You two. In the bag.

The jewels, the money,
the diamonds,

the keys to your boat,
put 'em in the bag,

tie it to the rope,
send it up!

Uh, you don't wanna
steal our boat.

Is that right?
Shoot the woman.

Ok. All right.

Now put your guns
in the bag slowly.

[Gunshots]

I said slowly.

Let's go. Come on.

Come on!

That's right.
Nice and easy.

There you go. Huh?

Watch those fingers
on the triggers.

[Laughing]

Come on up here to papa.

Come on.

Get the rock and
seal the hole. Now.

Everybody.

It's like this, big man.

Your wedding vows?
"Till death do US part."

[Laughing]

Hold your breath!

Great. Great,
great, great,

just great.

Well, guess
what, folks.

We ain't getting out
the way we got in.

Where is--there's
got to be another way!

We've got to
get out of here!

Don't worry, we'll get
Jess back, trust me.

Well, I don't think
our friends

are going to be needing
their boat anymore.

You want me to take it
for a test drive?

Why don't we all take it
for a test drive?

Spence.

Salt water.

Oh, man, what a great boat.

Yeah, for water skiing.

Thunder:
Your weight and activity

do not match those of
authorized personnel.

Enter identification code
now.

Man, this is a hell of a boat.

Thunder:
Identity not verified.

You have 20 seconds
to leave this craft

or enter proper
identification code now.

20 seconds,
or what's it gonna do,

kick US off?

[Laughing]

Thunder:
10 seconds.

Argh!
5 seconds.

[Yelling in pain]

4, 3...
Come on!

2. Final warning.

One.

You got an
attitude problem!

We're going back
to the ship,

we're gonna put
a line on it,

and we're gonna
tow it out of here.

Let's go!

What are you doing?

He's oxygenating his blood.

This pool leads to the ocean

and when Spence
finds his way out

all we have to do
is follow this.

How long can he stay
under there?

Don't worry about it.

He's part whale.

Bru!

[Gasping]

There's a way out.

Megan, you just have
to relax.

Remember everything
I told you.

When we get in the
water,

start your deep
breathing.

When I give the
signal,

take a deep breath

and we'll all go
under.

Well, it'll hold enough air

to get US through the cave.

If there's no leaks.

Let's do it.

Calm down, Megan,
do it for Jess.

Hey, Megan.

Piece of cake.

Three deep breaths, we
go under together.

Ready?

One.

Two.

Three!

Haul up
the anchor!

[Choking and gasping]

Are you ok?

Yeah, I'm ok.

Spence.

I can't get any support
unless I turn on the engines.

We'll have
to make do.

Well, can't you just
radio the coast guard?

No, no, they'd
see 'em coming miles away.

Be too dangerous
for Jess and Kelly.

I'll bring her back
to you.

Be careful.

Bru: Do me a favor,
will you?

Bring Kelly back, too,

'cause I'd like a shot
at my own honeymoon.

Or a reasonable facsimile.

Get thunder ready
to breathe fire.

Already on it, brother.

What are you doing?

A little psychological
warfare.

Gotta hand it to you.

Earned my respect.

I'm...stunned

you're here!

Jess: Daddy!

You got what you want.

Let US go and we'll call it
even.

Doesn't work for me.

Tie him up,

it's time to feed the sharks!

Jess: No!

Kelly: No!

Jess: Dad!

Aw yeah, Navy seal.
How about Navy anchor?

Jess: No!

Kelly: Please, stop!

Man: Shut up.

He's ready, Mr. Kilmer.

Go ahead and kill me,

but let them go!

Shut up!

[Protesting]

Now, once and for all,

good-bye.

Jess: No!

Get him out of here now.

You can't be
serious.

No! Stop!

What's that? Bru!

Damn, damn, damn!

Well, what was--

it's Spence!

Bubble, bubble, bubble.

Let's let 'em all
be together.

What?

It's nothing personal,
it's business.

Come on,
let's go. Now.

What? No!

[Screaming]
Bon voyage!

No! No!

[Gurgling and grunting]

Ohh! Jessie!

Aah!

[Splash]

Aah!
[Splash]

Jessica!

No!

Ohh!

[Coughing]

Ohh...baby,
baby.

Are you all right?

Ohh!

I was so scared!

It'll be
all right.

I got her, buddy.

What are you doing?

I'm givin' you
mouth-to-mouth.

I don't need
mouth-to-mouth.

Oh...

Thanks, bru.

Spencer, i--i don't
know what to say.

You'll think
of something later.

Bru, strap 'em in.

Remind me to save
your life more often.

[Computer sounds]

Let's get that
line secure.

Weigh anchor.
Aye, sir.

We're to set course
to Panama.

Heh heh heh--yes, sir.

Hurricane:
Hold on tight.

Ok?

Jessica: Are you
gonna give thunder

full-thrust commitment?

Let's hope so.

No problema, brother.

Visual onscreen.

[Engine revving]

Hurricane: Get ready,
we're bustin' loose!

W-W-What!?

Who's in the boat?

Dooh!
I don't believe this.

Break out
a stinger missile

and blow 'em
off the planet.

Ha ha ha!
Now!

Come on, come on,
go, go!

Come on!
Grab it.

I got it, I got it.

Let's go!

They're gettin' away!

Now!

I got it, I got it!

Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on!

Fire!

Come on, baby!

Thunder: Missile launch.
Impact...

15 seconds.

Commencing full-thrust
commitment.

Thunder: 14...
Do it.

13...

Thunder: Hydro-thruster
malfunction.

Damn!
9...

8...

Not again,
not--argh!

Thunder:
Engaged.

3...2.9...

2.8...

2.6...

2.5...

That stinger's
gainin' on US, Spence.

I want it to.

2.1...

What goes around
comes around.

1.9...

1.8...

1.7...

Wh--what's it doin'?

Thunder:
One second...

What's it comin'
back here for?

Oh, man, oh, man!

All right, all right,
get out of here!

Ooh!

[Screaming]

Thunder:
.2...

Impact imminent.

[Laughing and yelling]

Whoo-hoo!

Radio the coast guard.

Tell 'em they can

fish some barracuda
out of the water now.

Spence, what about
the treasure, man?

There's always another
day in paradise.

[Laughing]

Whoo-hoo!

Darling,
what's taking so long?

Wow, you look incredible.

You were
incredible today...

Darling.

How would you
like some champagne?

Maybe later.

Great...

[Moaning]

Darling...

You bungled it.

They discovered
your device.

They know...

My devices have never
been discovered.

Ohh, ohh, ohh!

Ohh, ohh...

I said "fake it,"
not "make it.

Move your hand.

You know,
it's kind of a shame

that your
security sweep

turned up old uncle
Edward's handiwork.

You never know
what real passions

might have flared.

Lola, would you leave
Ms. Larue and I

alone for a moment
so I can show her

some of my handiwork.

You never know what
passions might flare.

Lola, stay
where you are.

Spoil-sport.

Ha ha ha...

Well, even though
they out-smarted

uncle Edward this time,
he's not gonna back off.

Neither am I.

Ohh--ho ho ho.

How about
a little gratitude

for saving your life?

If you hadn't
given Jessica

that necklace
in the first place,

we wouldn't have
been in danger.

Darling, I love you,

and I'm so glad

we're finally
married!

[Moaning and grunting]

That's no act!

Look at this couple,
they're in love.

[Grunting]

[Grunting]

♪ Thunder ♪

♪ Thunder in paradise ♪

♪ lightning striking twice ♪

♪ mess with thunder ♪

♪ and you pay the price ♪

♪ Thunder in paradise ♪

♪ sun sacrifice ♪

♪ mess with thunder ♪

♪ pay the price, yeah ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ ohh ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ ohh ♪

♪ never had a night like this ♪

♪ kissed by a hurricane ♪

♪ ohh ♪

♪ hot date in paradise ♪

♪ sails blazing in the sun ♪

♪ waves given you a warnin',
trim your sail and run ♪

♪ run, run ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ ohh ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ oh, oh, ohh ♪

♪ never had a night like this ♪

♪ been kissed by a hurricane ♪

♪ oh, by a hurricane ♪

♪ Better run for cover ♪

♪ you've run out of luck ♪

♪ you violated nature ♪

♪ you're thunderstruck ♪

♪ ah, ah, ah ♪

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