Three of Hearts (1993) - full transcript

[MAN]
PICTURE THIS.

HA HA HA.

YOU'RE LYING
ON A DESERTED BEACH.

THE SAND IS SOFT.

SUN FEELS GOOD.

YOU SLIP OUT OF YOUR BIKINI
AND JUST LIE THERE...

ALL NAKED AND WARM.

HA HA HA.

I REACH OVER
TO THAT DRINK
BESIDE YOU

AND TAKE OUT
AN ICE CUBE,

PUT IT
IN YOUR MOUTH...



TWIRL IT AROUND
WITH YOUR TONGUE
A LITTLE BIT.

[WOMAN LAUGHS]

YOU'D LIKE THAT.

NOW SLIDE IT
OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

LET THE COOL WATER
RUN DOWN ALL OVER
YOUR LIPS.

[WOMAN MOANS]

TAKE THE ICE.

O.K.

RUN IT DOWN YOUR NECK,

ACROSS YOUR BREAST
TO YOUR NIPPLE.

TO MY NIPPLE.
O.K.

OH, IT'S COLD.

HA HA!

AHEM.



IT'S COLD.

HA HA!
HA HA!

NOW RUN IT DOWN
YOUR STOMACH,

AROUND YOUR BELLYBUTTON.

MY STOMACH?

OH, OOH.

THEN ACROSS YOUR HIP
TO YOUR THIGH.

I AM. I AM. O.K.

OH, IT FEELS GOOD.

OH, IT'S WET.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

[SIGHS]

NOW RUN IT
ALL THE WAY UP

THE INSIDE
OF YOUR THIGH.

OHH.

OH, GOD.

OH, YES.

[BEEPING]

SHIT.

SHIT?

NO.

LISTEN, HONEY, UM...

GO GRAB...GO GRAB
ANOTHER ICE CUBE, O.K.?

NO.

HELLO?

[MAN]
JOEY.

HEY, MICKEY.

HEY, LISTEN, MICK, I'M
A LITTLE BUSY RIGHT NOW.

ARE YOU
ON THE OTHER LINE?

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN TO ME.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM,
KID.

HARVEY'S
OUT OF JAIL,

AND HE'S
LOOKING FOR YOU.

SHIT.
DID YOU TALK TO HIM?

NO, BUT I'M
WORKING ON IT.

HE JUST GOT OUT
LAST NIGHT,

AND HE'S REALLY ANGRY.

GOD DAMN IT.
WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM?

YOU'RE HIS PROBLEM.

THIS GUY STILL THINKS
YOU SET HIM UP.

[SIGHS]

LOOK, JUST BE CAREFUL
TILL I FIX IT.

THIS GUY'S
LIABLE TO KILL YOU.

WHAT DO YOU GOT
FOR TONIGHT?

WHAT IS IT?
WEDNESDAY?

I GOT ISABELLA.

BELLA ISABELLA.

LOOK, DROP BY TOMORROW,
WE'LL HAVE LUNCH,

WE'LL STRAIGHTEN
THIS HARVEY THING OUT.

ALL RIGHT.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT.

THANKS FOR THE WARNING.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO?

YOU SON OF A BITCH.

OH, JEEZ.
ELENA, I'M SORRY.

UH, DID YOU
GET THE ICE?

YEAH. I'D LIKE TO PACK
YOUR HEAD IN IT, PRICK.

[DIAL TONE]

SO YOU'RE
TELLING ME NOW?

IN THE PARK?

WELL, I'M SORRY.

I THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE BETTER

THAN HAVING A SCENE
IN THE APARTMENT.

OR EASIER FOR YOU,

BECAUSE
I'D BE TOO EMBARRASSED
TO MAKE A SCENE

IN FRONT OF
THE DAMN WORLD,
IS THAT IT?

NO. CONNIE...

EXCUSE ME, WORLD!

I JUST WANT
YOU ALL TO KNOW

THAT MY GIRLFRIEND
IS TEARING MY HEART OUT

HERE TODAY,

BECAUSE
SHE SUDDENLY DECIDED

SHE NEEDS MORE SPACE.

O.K.?

SO WOULD EVERYBODY

PLEASE GIVE HER

SOME MORE SPACE?

RIGHT, RIGHT.

I SHOULD'VE
DONE THIS IN PRIVATE.

LISTEN, HONEY,

YOU COULD LEARN
THE FUCKING
CODE OF SILENCE,

AND IT
WOULDN'T MATTER.

SO, WHAT,
YOU DUMPING ME?

ARE YOU DUMPING ME?

NO, I'M NOT.
I--I JUST...

I JUST NEED SOME TIME
TO SORT THINGS OUT.

I'VE FELT THIS WAY
FOR A LONG TIME.

I GUESS...

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
'CAUSE I HOPED
IT WOULD CHANGE.

IT WILL.
IT WILL CHANGE.

WE HAVEN'T
GOTTEN OUT OF TOWN.

WE'VE GOT CABIN FEVER.
LET'S TAKE A VACATION.

LET'S GO
TO THE POCONOS.

THAT'S NOT IT, CONNIE.

IT'S THE WEDDING?
WE DON'T HAVE TO GO
TO THEIR WEDDING.

MY PARENTS WILL LIVE.

IT WAS A PERFECT TIME
TO TELL THEM ABOUT US--

IT'S NOT THAT.
IT'S US.

IT'S US.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT
TO HURT YOU.

JUST PLEASE...

PLEASE TRY
AND UNDERSTAND.

I--I--I
HAVE TO DO THIS.

I LOVE YOU.

PLEASE DON'T DO THIS
TO ME, O.K.?

I HAVE TO.

I NEED TO FIGURE
A FEW THINGS OUT.

I HAVE TO BE
AWAY FROM YOU
TO DO THAT.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I FOUND
AN APARTMENT.

WHAT?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU
PLANNED THIS?

I HAVE TO GO.

NO! ELLEN, WAIT!

OH...

WAIT!

I DON'T FEEL PRETTY,

AND I DON'T FEEL SEXY.

AND, UH...

I DON'T FEEL DESIRABLE.

AND SOMEHOW
I THINK IT'S...

ALL MY FAULT,

LIKE I MUST'VE
DONE SOMETHING
REAL WRONG.

ISABELLA,
YOU'RE WRONG.

DON'T YOU SEE
HE DID THIS TO YOU?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE
BEAUTIFUL AND SEXY.

IT'S, UM...

JUST THAT I'M AFRAID
I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE...

YOU KNOW,
THOSE--THOSE FEELINGS.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

WHY?

JUST DO IT.

TRUST ME.

DO YOU REMEMBER
YOUR FIRST BOYFRIEND...

YOUR FIRST LOVER?

DO YOU?

YES.

EXPLORING
ONE ANOTHER'S BODIES,

SKIN AGAINST SKIN,

KISSING EACH OTHER...

FOREVER AND EVER.

DO YOU REMEMBER
HOW THAT MADE YOU FEEL?

YES.

YOU STILL HAVE
ALL THOSE FEELINGS.

OHH.

GOD, IT'S JUST
BEEN SO LONG SINCE
ANYONE'S TOUCHED ME.

I WANT TO TOUCH YOU.

WE'RE BACK
AT HER PLACE,

I'M ON TOP OF HER,

THE BED'S ROCKING
LIKE A HORSE,

HER TITS WHACK ME.

THE LIGHT FLICKS ON.

GUESS WHO'S THERE
WITH MY PANTS
IN HIS HANDS?

HER HUSBAND.

YEAH. HOW'D
YOU KNOW THAT?

SHIT. YOU DIDN'T KNOW
SHE HAD A HUSBAND?

NO.

SO I'M STANDING THERE,
SCRAMBLING FOR MY SHOES.

I TURN AROUND,
AND SHE'S YELLING,

"IRV, IRV,
TODAY'S WEDNESDAY.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?"

JOEY, HOW MANY TIMES
DO I GOT TO TELL YOU,

THE FIRST THING YOU DO
WHEN YOU GO IN

IS YOU LOOK AT
THE WEDDING PICTURES
ON THE WALL.

THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW
IF SHE'S MARRIED.

HOW DO YOU STAY
SO FUCKING TRIM?

DO ME A FAVOR.
TAKE THIS SHIT.

I DON'T WANT IT.

I'M GOING ON A DIET
RIGHT NOW.

SO, WHAT'S
THE PUNCH LINE?

WHAT'S THE PUNCH LINE?
THERE'S NO PUNCH LINE.

THE HUSBAND WALKS IN--

YOU GET THE MONEY?

WHAT?

THE MONEY
FROM ISABELLA.

NO, I DIDN'T
GET THE MONEY.

WHAT DO I TELL YOU,
JOEY?

GET THE MONEY FIRST.

JESUS CHRIST.

YOU MIND ME
ASKING YOU ONE THING?

HOW AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?

YOU GOT TO GET
THE MONEY FIRST.

YOU'RE GOING
TO GIVE YOURSELF
A FUCKING HEART ATTACK.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU SAY IT AFTER ME.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I DIDN'T WEAR
ANY PANTIES.

OH, COME ON.
YOU CAN TELL ME MORE.

WHAT THE HELL
IS THIS CRAP?

DON'T START WITH ME.

SOUNDS DELICIOUS.

YOU LOVE THAT,
DON'T YOU?

COME ON, BABY.

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?

CHRIST ALMIGHTY.

DO IT AGAIN, BABY.

JOEY...

THAT'S RIGHT.

HOW ARE WE
DOING HERE?

HARDER, BABY.

HARDER, BABY.

OHH.

OH, IT'S TOO BIG.

OH, BABY.

[MOANING]

IT'S TOO BIG.

OH, IT HURTS.

OH, OH, BABY.

JOEY.

HEY, WHAT'S UP?

ARE YOU CHEATING ME?

WHAT?

ARE YOU
CHEATING ME?

'CAUSE IF
YOU'RE CHEATING ME,

THAT WOULD HURT ME...
VERY BAD.

I MEAN, CONSIDERING
OUR RELATIONSHIP,

CONSIDERING
THAT I'M THE GUY

THAT'S GOING
TO STRAIGHTEN OUT
THIS MESS WITH HARVEY.

YOU REMEMBER HARVEY.

HE THINKS
YOU WENT TO THE COPS
AND SENT HIM AWAY.

YOU KNOW I HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH THAT.

WHAT'S THIS CHEATING?
I WOULDN'T RIP YOU OFF.

I KNOW.

AND I'M SURE
YOU APPRECIATE EVERYTHING
I'VE DONE FOR YOU.

I POLISHED YOU
LIKE A DIAMOND

SO YOU COULD SPARKLE
FOR ALL THOSE RICH BITCHES
ON PARK AVENUE.

LOOK, I APPRECIATE
WHAT YOU'VE DONE, O.K.?

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

YOU WERE RIGHT.
I'M WRONG.

IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
I PROMISE.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY.

I'M JUST CHECKING.

ALL RIGHT.

SO WHAT'S UP
FOR TONIGHT?

YOU GOT SOMETHING
FOR ME?

IT'S A GOOD SPACE.
IT FEELS GOOD,
DOESN'T IT?

YES, IT FEELS GREAT.

IT REMINDS ME
OF THAT MOVIE,

THAT MOVIE WITH
THE PUERTO RICAN GIRL
AND THE INDUSTRIALIST,

OFF-THE-SHOULDER
SWEATSHIRT.

WHAT WAS THAT?

FLASHDANCE.

YOU KNOW, ELLEN,
IT'S VERY ARCHITECTURAL.

YOU HATE IT.

I DON'T HATE IT.

IT'S O.K.

IT'S NOT WEST PORT,
BUT WHAT IS?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

DON'T BE NASTY.

YOU JUST
SOUNDED LIKE MOM
WHEN YOU SAID THAT.

"GIRLS, GOOD MANNERS
ARE THE BACKBONE
OF SOCIETY."

[BEEP]

[CONNIE]
ELLEN?

ELLEN, ARE YOU THERE?

THIS IS SO WEIRD.

HONEY, PLEASE PICK UP.

I NEED TO TALK
TO YOU, O.K.?

I LOVE YOU.

[BEEP]

I JUST THINK
IT'S BETTER

IF WE DON'T TALK
FOR A WHILE.

GOOD IDEA.

DOES THIS NEED LIGHT?

I CAN NEVER REMEMBER
IF IT'S...

A LOT OF LIGHT
AND A LITTLE WATER

OR A LITTLE LIGHT
AND A LOT OF WATER.

EITHER WAY,
I'LL KILL IT.

WE'VE NEVER
REALLY TALKED ABOUT
THIS BEFORE, BUT--

I REALLY APPRECIATE
EVERYTHING, BUT I'M FINE.

WELL, NOT FINE,
BUT I'M HERE.

I'M ABOUT
TO HUMILIATE MYSELF

IN FRONT OF A CLASS
FULL OF ENGLISH MAJORS,

BUT I'M...I'M
MOVING FORWARD, RIGHT?

ELLEN, I CARE ABOUT YOU.

I'M YOUR SISTER.

I'M NOT JUST SOME BITCH
FROM CONNECTICUT.

I LOVE YOU.

I KNOW.

I UNDERSTAND ABOUT
THIS HOMOSEXUAL--

BISEXUAL--

WHATEVER THING.

NO, YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND.

YES, I DO.

I WASN'T WITH CONNIE
BECAUSE...

IT'S NOT LIKE
I WAS TRYING A NEW PERM
OR SOMETHING.

SHE TOOK ADVANTAGE
OF YOU.

YOU WERE WEAK.

YOU WERE
AN EMOTIONAL MESS.

I REMEMBER.
I WAS THERE.

CONNIE
JUST SWOOPED IN
AND TOOK CONTROL.

THAT IS BULLSHIT, O.K.?

CONNIE LOVED ME,
AND I LOVED HER.

GET IT?

CONNIE HELPED ME,
ALLISON.

SHE...

LOOK, LET'S JUST
FORGET IT, O.K.?

I DON'T--

LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT
WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

O.K.

I'M SORRY.

BESIDES,

I DECIDED NO DATING,

NO MORE RELATIONSHIPS,

NOTHING.

[SIREN]

IT'LL BE FUN.

NO.

NO, IT WON'T BE FUN.

IT'LL BE THE COMPLETE
OPPOSITE OF FUN.

IT'LL BE
A LIVING HELL.

IT'S JUST A WEDDING.

LORENZO, PLEASE.

MY YOUNGER SISTER'S
GETTING MARRIED

IN FRONT OF
HALF OF KRAKOW.

YOU EVER BEEN
TO A POLISH WEDDING?

I'VE BEEN
TO BAPTIST WEDDINGS.

FAMILY IS WEIRD SHIT,
YOU KNOW?

BUT YOU SURVIVE IT.
THAT'S THE THING
ABOUT FAMILY.

THEY'RE EXPECTING--

I PROMISED THEM
SOMETHING.

OH, WHAT?

THE WHOLE FAMILY'S
GOING TO BE THERE,
SO I--I...

I TOLD THEM
I WAS GOING TO
BRING MY FIANC .

IT WAS
TO BE MY MOMENT.

I WAS GOING
TO COME OUT.

I WAS TO SAY,
"THIS IS THE GIRL
I'M IN LOVE WITH."

OPEN.

I WANTED THEM TO SEE
ME AND ELLEN TOGETHER.

I CAN'T DO THIS ALONE.

THEY DON'T KNOW
ABOUT YOU?

THEY'RE OLD-WORLD
POLACKS.

MY FATHER LOOKS AT ME
AND SEES AN AGING NURSE
WITHOUT HER DOCTOR.

BLOW IT OFF.
SAY YOU'RE SICK.

MY...MY MOTHER
IS SUCH A--

IF I WAS
ON LIFE-SUPPORT,

MY MOTHER WOULD
RIP OUT THE I.V.

AND DRAG ME
TO THE CHURCH.

HA HA HA.

HEY.
WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

YOUR FAMILY WOULD SHIT
IF YOU BROUGHT HOME
A BLACK MAN.

DON'T YOU KNOW
ANY OTHER GUYS?

WHAT,
LIKE NORMAL GUYS?

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW ABOUT, UH...

WELL, THERE'S
MR. GOODWRENCH.

HOW ABOUT
THE ALLSTATE AGENT?

PERHAPS
THE TIDYBOWL MAN.

I KNOW.

WAIT.

WHY DON'T YOU
RENT A GUY?

HIRE A MALE ESCORT.

HEY.

HOW ARE YA?

I'M JOE CASELLA.

I'M CONNIE.

I'LL BE WITH YOU
IN A SEC.

NICE PLACE YOU GOT HERE.

THANKS.

YOU LOOK GREAT.

YEAH?

YEAH.

I LIKE THE, UH...
THE LEATHER.

LOOKS GOOD?

I DON'T THINK SO.

OH, YEAH.

UM...

BEFORE I FORGET, UH...

THERE'S A LITTLE
FINANCIAL MATTER
WE NEED TO DISCUSS.

YOU KNOW,
I DON'T MEAN
TO RUSH YOU, BUT...

I GOT TO GET PAID
UP-FRONT.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW,

BEFORE.

OHH.

BEFORE WHAT?

AHEM.

WHATEVER YOU LIKE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

COULD YOU
TAKE MY KEYS?

[SINGING IN LATIN]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

Don't say a word,

especially
to my mother.

Just do what I tell you
and follow my lead.

Got it?

Got it.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

Who is she with?

Weirdo.

From high school.

The high school weirdo.

He gives me the creeps.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

YOU HAVE A LOVELY FAMILY.
THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

YOU'RE MISSING
THE BEST PART.

THE RECEPTION.

I NEED THE BRIDESMAIDS
A LITTLE CLOSER.

A LITTLE CLOSER.

HEY, FELLAS, THIS IS
NOT THE TIME TO SMOKE.

OH, YOU'RE TAKING
A PICTURE?

JOE, MY MAMA WANTS YOU
IN THE PICTURE.

OH, YOU WANT ME--

YOU WANT ME
IN THE PHOTOGRAPH?

[SPEAKING POLISH]

I WANT YOU
FOR PHOTOGRAPH.

WHERE DID YOU
MEET HIM?

WHAT DIFFERENCE
DOES IT MAKE?

WE MET
AT A MUSEUM.

OH.

WHEN I TURNED AND SAW
YOUR BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER
STANDING THERE...

WHEN SHE TOLD ME
SHE WAS POLISH,
FORGET IT.

IT WAS
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

I'M PART POLISH, TOO.

YOU POLISH?

OH, YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

W-W-WAIT A SEC.

CONNIE,
TOO BAD YOU BROUGHT
MR. ATTITUDE WITH YOU.

I MEAN, YOU AND ME,

WE COULD'VE
HAD SOME FUN.

WHAT IS THAT?
"I'M PART POLISH."

WHAT IS THAT,
YOU KNOW?

GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME.

HEY.

WHAT?

WE GOT A PROBLEM
HERE?

EXCUSE ME?

NO PROBLEM.

SAY YOU'RE SORRY.

SAY YOU'RE SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

PADRE,
CAN WE GET A SMILE?

IT'S A HAPPY OCCASION.

O.K., I'M GOING.

GET OVER HERE.

WE'RE TAKING A PICTURE.

EVERYONE,
LOOK THIS WAY.

THIS WAY.

1...2...

3.

NICE.

VERY NICE.

THANK YOU.

* GIRL, GIRL, GIRL *

* YOU GOTTA
MAKE UP YOUR MIND *

* MAKE UP YOUR MIND *

* GIRL, GIRL, GIRL *

* YOU GOTTA
MAKE UP YOUR MIND *

* MAKE UP YOUR MIND *

* GIRL, GIRL *

* GIRL *

* YOU GOTTA
MAKE UP YOUR MIND *

* MAKE UP YOUR MIND *

* AHH *

* AHH *

* AHH... *

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HI. IT'S ELLEN.

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE,
AND I'LL RETURN THE CALL.

THANKS.

[SINGING IN POLISH]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

HEY.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

PLAY THE SAMBA
FOR ME.

[SPEAKING POLISH]

[SINGING IN PORTUGUESE]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

[SPEAKING POLISH]

WHOO!

CATCH IT!

NO!

[CHANTING IN POLISH]

KISS HER!

KISS HER! KISS HER!

KISS HER! KISS HER!

KISS HER!

[CHANTING IN POLISH]

[SINGING]

* AH, BUT MY HEART
BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE *

* HOW COULD
I BE SO BOLD... *

THAT WAS SOME KISS.

YEAH, WELL,
WE, UH...

STILL GOT
A COUPLE HOURS LEFT.

ANYTHING ELSE
YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT DO YOU
HAVE IN MIND?

ANYTHING YOU WANT.

HOW DO YOU
FEEL ABOUT TWO WOMEN?

SOUNDS GREAT.

THE MORE
THE MERRIER.

SURE YOU CAN
HANDLE IT?

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY
TO FIND OUT.

I DIDN'T HIRE YOU
FOR THE REASONS
YOU THINK.

OHH.

SO WHAT'D YOU
HIRE ME FOR THEN, HUH?

BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND
DUMPED ME.

[HORN HONKS]

IT'S RIGHT UP HERE
ON THE CORNER.

HEY, THANKS.

I HAD A GREAT TIME.

YOU SURE I, UH...

CAN'T CONVINCE YOU
TO COME UPSTAIRS?

GET OUT OF HERE.

IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

O.K.

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YA.

BYE.

OH, SHIT. MY KEYS.

J-JUST WAIT.

KEEP THE METER
RUNNING, O.K.?

SHIT.

JOE.

JOE, YOU
HAVE MY KEYS.

JOE.

OH, MY.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU SHOULD
CALL THE POLICE.

NO, NO. NO COPS.

THEY CUT
THE LINES.

L-LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE, O.K.?

YOU CAN COME
TO MY PLACE
AND USE THE PHONE.

IT'S O.K.
COME ON.

WHAT'S THIS,
THE HAMPTONS?

JERSEY SHORE.

CAPE MAY.

IS THAT YOU?

YEAH. WHY?

'CAUSE IT LOOKS
A LITTLE LIKE
AXL ROSE.

THANKS.

THAT WAS UP
IN THE CATSKILLS.

SHE LOOKS LIKE
A MOVIE STAR,
DOESN'T SHE?

LIKE VIVIEN LEIGH.

AUDREY HEPBURN.

SHIT.

I'M NOT GOING
TO GET THROUGH THIS.

I'M NOT GOING
TO BE ABLE TO.

I CAN'T IMAGINE MY LIFE
WITHOUT HER.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SHE'S GOING
TO COME BACK.

SHE'S GOING TO
COME RUNNING BACK.

HOW THE HELL
DO YOU KNOW?

I DON'T,
BUT, YOU KNOW,

SHE'S--SHE'S
ON THE REBOUND,

SHE'S VULNERABLE,
SO...

ANY ASSHOLE THAT'S
NICE TO HER GETS HER?

NO, BUT...

LOOK, DON'T GET MAD,
BUT...

YOU KNOW, IS SHE...
SHE ONLY INTO GIRLS,
OR WHAT?

GIRLS?

LADIES, WOMEN.

WELL...NO.

SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND
BEFORE ME.

BINGO.

PERFECT. I MEAN...
WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE
SHE'LL TRY A GUY.

SINCE MOST GUYS
ARE ASSHOLES,

IT'S ONLY
A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE ONE OF THEM
FUCKS HER OVER,

SO SHE'LL BE BACK
IN YOUR ARMS SOON.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

'CAUSE IT'S MY JOB.
I KNOW WOMEN.

[RING]

HELLO.

JOEY THERE?

YEAH.
HE'S RIGHT HERE.

PUT HIM ON. JOEY.

HEY, MICK. YOU
GOT THE MESSAGE.

I GOT THE MESSAGE.

I'LL BET YOU ANYTHING
HARVEY DID THIS.

OF COURSE
IT WAS HARVEY.

ALL RIGHT, WAIT.
WHERE ARE YOU?

TALK TO THIS GUY.
HE'S A FUCKING
PSYCHO.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
WHERE ARE YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

YOU CAN STAY WITH ME.

IF I COME
TO YOUR PLACE,

HE'LL BE WAITING
WITH A BLOWTORCH.

WHERE WILL YOU STAY?

I DON'T KNOW.
HOTEL, I GUESS.

NO. COME TO MY HOUSE.

STAY HERE.
STAY HERE TONIGHT.

JOEY, YOU COME
TO MY--HELLO!

JOE!

HEY, MICK,

I'M GOING TO STAY
HERE TONIGHT.

WHERE'S HERE?

A GIRL--A FRIEND.

SHE A CLIENT?

A FRIEND.

SHE'D BETTER NOT
BE A CLIENT.

YOU GOT THE NUMBER?

TAKE CARE OF THIS
FOR ME. CALL HIM.

YEAH.
DON'T GO OUT.

TALK TO YOU TOMORROW.

LATER.

THANKS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S ONLY
FOR A DAY OR TWO,

TOPS.

WHAT?

YOU COULD DO IT,
JOE.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU GET ELLEN
BACK FOR ME.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

ARE YOU
GOOD WITH WOMEN?

ARE YOU GOOD
WITH YOUR JOB?

YEAH.

YOU CAN
BREAK HER HEART

AND SEND HER
RUNNING BACK TO ME.

LOOK, I'M GOING
TO STAY HERE
ON THE COUCH, O.K.?

NO, JOE, LOOK,
IT'LL WORK.

I GOT
NOTHING TO LOSE.

YOU KNOW,
SHE ALREADY LEFT ME.

JUST GO M--SEE HER.
UH, MEET WITH HER.

YOU CAN
SIT IN HER CLASS.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.

O.K.

I'LL SLEEP ON IT,
ALL RIGHT?

GREAT!

UH, GREAT.
I MEAN, SLEEP ON IT.

THAT'LL--THAT'S--
THAT'LL WORK.

THAT'S--
THAT'S PERFECT.

SO LET'S START
WITH INSPIRATION.

I'VE GOT SOMETHING

I'D LIKE TO READ
FOR YOU TODAY.

IT'S FROM A NOVEL
CALLED VICTORIA,

WRITTEN BY NEWT HAMPSON.

YOU MINIMALIST GUYS
WILL THINK

IT'S A LITTLE
OVER THE TOP,

BUT THAT'S THE POINT.

IT'S A LOVE STORY,

A TRAGIC LOVE STORY.

THE BEST KIND, RIGHT?

"DEAR JOHANN,

WHEN YOU READ THIS LETTER,
I SHALL BE DEAD."

"EVERYTHING
SEEMS SO STRANGE NOW.

"I DON'T FEEL ASHAMED
TO WRITE TO YOU ANYMORE,

"AND I'M WRITING
JUST AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED

TO PREVENT IT."

"BEFORE, WHEN I WAS
FULLY ALIVE..."

"I WOULD RATHER
HAVE SUFFERED NIGHT AND DAY

"THAN WRITTEN TO YOU AGAIN,

"BUT NOW I'VE
STARTED TO DIE,

AND I DON'T THINK
IN THAT WAY ANY LONGER."

"STRANGERS HAVE
SEEN ME BLEED.

"FORGIVE ME FOR THE WRONG
I'VE DONE YOU

"AND FOR NEVER HAVING
THROWN MYSELF AT YOUR FEET

"AND BEGGED
YOUR FORGIVENESS.

"I DO SO NOW
WITH ALL MY HEART.

"BE HAPPY, JOHANN,
AND GOODBYE FOREVER.

YOURS, VICTORIA."

SO YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT

IS TO WRITE A LETTER
TO A LOVER.

IT CAN BE A REAL
OR IMAGINARY PERSON.

WELL...

GOOD. SO...
HAVE A GOOD WEEK.

THAT, UH...

JOHANN WAS
A LUCKY GUY, HUH?

LUCKY?

VICTORIA DIES.

OH, SHE DIES? OH.

WELL, YOU KNOW...

AT LEAST HE WAS LOVED.

UH...

I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK.

YEAH.

O.K.

BYE-BYE.

BYE.

JOE?

YEAH. I'M
IN THE BATHROOM.

HEY.

HEY, HOW YOU DOING?

ALL RIGHT.

SO DID YOU FIND HER?

RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.

HOW DID SHE LOOK?
DID SHE LOOK HAPPY?

HAPPY? I DON'T KNOW.

SHE LOOKED NERVOUS.

IT WAS THE FIRST
DAY OF CLASS.

WANT TO GRAB MY SUIT
FOR ME?

SO W-WHAT DID YOU
SAY TO HER?

I SAID I'D
FUCK HER LIGHTS OUT
AND BREAK HER HEART.

YOU GOT ANY DEODORANT?

YOU'RE
SUCH AN ASSHOLE.

WHAT WAS--
WHAT WAS SHE WEARING?

WHAT IS THIS,
20 QUESTIONS HERE?
JESUS.

WHAT
WAS SHE WEARING?

SHE WAS
ALL DRESSED UP.
SHE LOOKED GREAT.

SLUT.

LISTEN, DO ME A FAVOR
AND GRAB MY SHOES.

THEY'RE
OUT IN THE HALLWAY.

GOD, I'M LATE.

WHAT'S THE BIG HURRY?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING TO WORK.

TO WORK?

YEAH.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

WHAT ABOUT ME
AND ELLEN?

WHAT ABOUT ELLEN?
WHAT ABOUT ELLEN?

PIECE OF CAKE.
NO PROBLEM.

LISTEN, I--
I GOT TO RUN.

WHAT?

YOU--SHAVING CREAM.

OH, YEAH. O.K. THANKS.

BYE.

BYE. HAVE FUN.

SHIT.

I'M SORRY.

YOU WANT HER?

YEAH?

YOU GOT HER.

YOU O.K.?
I GOT TO RUN.

O.K.

BYE.

YES.

GOOD EVENING.

BILLY, TOTO NEEDS
A LITTLE TREAT.

THINK OF
SOMETHING SPECIAL.

SURE WILL.

GOOD EVENING,
MISS THOMAS.

GOOD EVENING, MITCH.

GOOD NIGHT, MITCH.

HAVE A NICE NIGHT,
MISS THOMAS.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

IT'S NOT LOADED.

[GUNSHOT]

AAH!

"NOT LOADED"?

GOD, YOU DIDN'T THINK
I KNEW IT WAS LOADED.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHERE THAT GUN'S BEEN?

ROOM SERVICE.

HOLD ON!

HELP!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

HELP ME!

FAKE IT.

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH
AND FAMOUS BITCHES.

LIFESTYLES OF THE BITCHY
AND THE FAMOUS,

OR THE INFAMOUS.

HA HA HA HA!

SHIT.

HAVING TROUBLE,
LORD BYRON?

YEAH.

YOU DIDN'T SAY
NOTHING ABOUT HOMEWORK.

LOOKS LIKE
STUDY HALL FOR YOU.

YEAH, RIGHT.

I SPENT MY WHOLE
SENIOR YEAR IN DETENTION.

YOU WENT
TO HIGH SCHOOL?

YEAH.
WHAT DID YOU THINK?

I DON'T KNOW.

I THOUGHT
YOU WERE ONE OF
THOSE STREET KIDS.

WHO FOUGHT HIS WAY
OUT OF THE GHETTO?

YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING
TOO MANY EPISODES
OF MACGYVER.

I GREW UP OVER THE BRIDGE
IN HACKENSACK.

MY OLD MAN RAN
A LINCOLN MERCURY
DEALERSHIP,

AND MY MOM...

SHE SPLIT.

THAT'S IT.

THE AMERICAN DREAM.

HOW DID YOU
BECOME AN ESCORT?

I WATCHED TOO MANY
MACGYVER EPISODES.

ALL RIGHT. SO WHAT'S
THIS ASSIGNMENT?

SHE WANTS US TO WRITE
SOME KIND OF LOVE LETTER.

BITCH.

ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GIVE HER ONE

THAT WILL MAKE HER
BEAUTIFUL CHEEKS
BLUSH.

GREAT.

UM...

SHOOT.

AS YOU CAME
FROM THE HOT BATH,

I TOOK YOU
BEFORE THE LONG MIRROR--

WHOA, WHOA.

AS...

OH.

"AS YOU CAME
FROM THE HOT BATH,

"I TOOK YOU BEFORE
THE LONG MIRROR.

"YOUR BREASTS
QUIVERED IN MY HANDS.

"YOUR BUTTOCKS
SHIVERED AGAINST ME.

"MY TONGUE MOVES INTO YOU...

"AND YOU BECOME HOLLOW,

"ABLAZE
WITH WHIRLING LIGHT,

LIKE THE INSIDE
OF A VAST, EXPANDING PEARL."

UM...

"I CANNOT FORGET
THE PERFUMED DUSK

"INSIDE THE TENT
OF YOUR BLACK HAIR,

"AS WE AWOKE IN THE DAWN
TO THE LOVE

"AFTER A NIGHT OF LOVE.

"AT THIS MOMENT,

WE ARE THE HAPPIEST
PEOPLE IN THE WORLD."

"BUT NOW, EVERY MORNING,
I WAKE ALONE..."

"DREAMING..."

UM...

"MY ARM IS YOUR SWEET FLESH
PRESSING MY LIPS.

"WHAT CAN I WRITE TO YOU?

"SICK WITH LOVE,
I LONG TO SEE YOU.

"I CAN WRITE
ONLY I LOVE YOU,

I LOVE YOU..."

UM...

"I LOVE--I LOVE YOU."

THAT'S IT.

O.K.

THAT'S IT FOR TODAY.
CLASS DISMISSED.

MR. CASELLA, COULD YOU
STAY FOR A MINUTE?

UH, SURE. SURE.

THAT WAS A VERY
BEAUTIFUL LETTER.

THANKS.

YOU KNOW,
YOU'VE VERY IN TOUCH

WITH THE FEMININE
SIDE OF YOURSELF.

I NEVER KNEW THAT.

IN FACT, YOU WOULD
HAVE TO HAVE BEEN
A JAPANESE WOMAN.

UM...

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOUR LETTER WAS
WRITTEN BY A POET--

A JAPANESE POET
NAMED MARAKIKO.

MR. CASELLA,

YOU'RE A PLAGIARIST.

GOODBYE.

SON OF A BITCH.

THAT'S JUST IT.

I AM
A JAPANESE WOMAN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,

IT'S FUN BEING TRAPPED
INSIDE THIS BODY?

ALL RIGHT. O.K.
I'M SORRY.

ALL I WANTED TO DO
WAS IMPRESS YOU.

YOU'RE LATE
TO MY FIRST CLASS,

YOU PLAGIARIZE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TRY ANOTHER TEACHER.

I DON'T WANT
ANOTHER TEACHER.

LOOK, JUST GIVE ME
FIVE MINUTES.

FIVE MINUTES
OUT OF YOUR DAY.

COME ON.

PLEASE?

I DON'T KNOW,

I MUST
HAVE BEEN 6 OR 7.

I WAS 6. I WAS
IN FIRST GRADE,

AND I WAS SITTING
ON THE LIVING ROOM
FLOOR

WATCHING BATMAN,
AND I WAS STARVING.

IT WAS AFTER SCHOOL,

AND I WAS
REALLY HUNGRY,

SO, UH...I GOT UP,

AND I--I WALKED
INTO THE KITCHEN,

AND, UH...

UH...

THERE SHE WAS.

UH, MY MOTHER WAS...

LAYING ON
THE KITCHEN FLOOR.

SHE HAD, UH...

SHE--SHE HAD DIED.

SHE WAS--
SHE WAS DEAD.

SHE WAS INTO
THIS COMBINATION

OF BOOZE AND SMACK.

REALLY KNOCKED HER
FOR A LOOP.

BUT THIS TIME,

YOU KNOW,
WAS THE LAST TIME.

I'M SORRY.

ANYWAY, COME ON.

YOU GOT
TO PLAY FAIR.

YOU OWE ME
A PERSONAL ANSWER.

COME ON.

O.K.

ONE...

AND NOT TOO PERSONAL.

O.K.

UM...

SEEING THAT
I'M...AUDITING

AND, UH, YOU KNOW,
NOT A REAL STUDENT,

YOU KNOW,
IF IT'S NOT ILLEGAL,

I THOUGHT
MAYBE WE COULD, UH,

GET TOGETHER
FOR DINNER

OR, UH, A MOVIE,

MAYBE ANOTHER CUP
OF COFFEE SOMETIME.

WELL, ACTUALLY, I'M--
I'M INVOLVED WITH SOMEBODY.

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T
THINK IT'S THE RIGHT TIME.

UH...

WHAT'S--WHAT'S,
UH, HIS NAME?

CONRAD.

HIS NAME'S CONRAD.

CONRAD!

OH, CONRAD, BABY.

SHE SAID
YOUR NAME WAS CONRAD

AND YOU TWO
WERE STILL AN ITEM.

THAT LYING BITCH.

I GOT HER
AGAINST THE ROPES.

SHE CAN'T KEEP LYING
TO ME FOREVER.

DID SHE READ
MY LOVE LETTER?

YEAH. SHE BUSTED ME
FOR PLAGIARISM.
NICE GOING.

FUCK.
SHE KNEW THAT ONE.

CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

THEN IT TOOK ME
15 MINUTES

TO CONVINCE HER
TO HAVE COFFEE.

THANKS.

AND?

AND...

HOW DOES
A GUY LIKE ME

CHARM A GIRL
LIKE HER?

HOW?

I MADE UP
THIS TOTALLY
OUTRAGEOUS STORY

ABOUT MY FUCKED-UP
CHILDHOOD.

SHE ATE IT UP.

THE TWO OF YOU ARE
FRIENDS NOW OR SOMETHING?

YOU SHOULD HAVE
SEEN HER EYES.
SHE LOVED IT.

OH, GOD, I CAN'T
TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

I'M GOING
TO GO CRAZY.

WOULD YOU RELAX?

I KNOW WHAT I'M
DOING, ALL RIGHT?

I GOT EVERYTHING
UNDER CONTROL, O.K.?

HA.
LOOK AT YOUR FACE.

WHY DON'T YOU
FINISH WHATEVER
YOU'RE DOING?

WE'LL GO
DROWN SOME OLIVES.

O.K.

I KNOW JUST THE PLACE.

J. EDGAR HOOVER.

THE FBI GUY?

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU'RE TRYING TO TELL ME

THE GUY WHO FOUNDED
THE FBI IS GAY?

TOTAL SCREAMER.

HE HAD EVEN
BUGGED HIS OWN
SWING PARTIES.

I HEARD THE TAPES.

MAMIE EISENHOWER.

GET OUT OF HERE!

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO.

NO WAY, ALL RIGHT?

YOU EVER SEEN HOW THEY
LOOKED AT EACH OTHER?

I'M TELLING YOU,

BABY, YOU GOT
TO BELIEVE ME.

IT'S INSTINCT.
YOU CAN TELL.

IT'S IN THEIR EYES--
THE LOOK.

REALLY?

HI THERE.

YOU AIN'T THE ONLY KING
IN THIS JOINT, SWEETHEART.

WANT TO DANCE?

AH, COME ON.

COME ON, DANCE,
CONNIE.

DANCE WITH HIM.

COME ON.

* HIGHER *

* WHEN YOU SHAKE
WHAT YOU GOT *

* AND, GIRL,
YOU'VE GOT A LOT *

* YOU'RE REALLY
SOMETHIN', CHILD *

* YES, YA ARE *

AAH!

* WHEN YOU'RE HOT,
YOU'RE HOT *

* YOU REALLY
SHOOT YOUR SHOT *

OH, YEAH!

YEAH!

* THE WAY YOU WALK,
YOU TALK *

* REALLY TURNS ME ON *

SO YOU HAD
A GOOD TIME?

ABSOLUTELY.

YOU'D SAY I'M
A PRETTY GOOD DATE?

THE BEST.

ATTRACTIVE TO LOOK AT?

SENSATIONAL.

ALL-AROUND FUN GAL?

A BLAST, WHY?

I'M THINKING ABOUT
GETTING OUT OF MEDICINE,

GOING INTO THE LESBIAN
ESCORT BUSINESS.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO LEARN
THE TRICKY PART.

THE SEX?

IT'S A TOTALLY
SEPARATE NEGOTIATION.

IT'S WHERE
THE BIG BUCKS ARE AT.

HOW MUCH CAN YOU MAKE?

I'VE BEEN TIPPED
A GRAND.

A THOUSAND DOLLARS?
WHOA.

WHAT DID YOU DO?

I HAD TO DRESS UP
LIKE A CUB SCOUT.

WHAT DO YOU DO

IF THEY'RE OLD
AND WRINKLED AND UGLY?

MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE
THEY'RE THE HOTTEST
WOMAN IN THE WORLD.

YOU CAN DO THAT?

ANY WOMAN, ANYTIME,
ANYPLACE, GUARANTEED.

YOU'RE
FULL OF SHIT.

ANY WOMAN, ANYTIME,
ANYPLACE.

I'M GOING TO BE
SO HUNG OVER TOMORROW.

I HARDLY HAVE A VOICE.

IT WAS GREAT.

WOW. YOU GOT
BEAUTIFUL EYES.

THEY'RE HUGE.

HEY, THEY CHANGE
COLOR, DON'T THEY?

LIKE BLUE TO GREEN.
WHAT ARE THEY NOW?

THEY'RE KIND OF
SILVERY RIGHT NOW.

YEAH. THERE'S
LIKE A LITTLE BROWN
AROUND THE CENTER.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, CONNIE...

I REALLY DON'T KNOW QUITE
HOW TO SAY THIS, BUT...

I DON'T THINK
I REALLY MET

A WOMAN QUITE
LIKE YOU BEFORE.

NO SHIT.

NO, I MEAN IT.
I'M SERIOUS.

I KNOW WE JUST MET--

WE'RE PRACTICALLY
STRANGERS, BUT,
YOU KNOW,

I FEEL
LIKE I KNOW YOU,

LIKE THERE'S SOME
KIND OF CONNECTION.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

IT'S REALLY WEIRD.

EVERYTHING
ABOUT YOU--

THE WAY YOU TALK,
THE WAY YOU DANCE.

ANYWAY, I JUST
WANTED TO TELL YOU

I THINK YOU GOT
A LOT OF STYLE.

JOEY,
YOU'RE SO SWEET.

THAT'S HOW I DO IT.

OH, YOU BASTARD.

ANY WOMAN, ANYTIME,
ANYPLACE,

GUARANTEED.

STOP.

TOLD YOU.

YOU DON'T NEED TO BE
SUCH A SEX MACHINE.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

BECAUSE YOU'RE
A NICE GUY, JOE.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU
FOR MORE REASONS
THAN YOU THINK.

THANKS.

SLEEP TIGHT.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5...

WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT IS THIS,
JACK LALANNE?

THIS IS NOT
AN AEROBICS CLASS.

OH, I'M SORRY.
I--I'M SORRY.

I JUST WASN'T
SURE EXACTLY
WHAT YOU WANTED.

LET ME EXPLAIN
SOMETHING TO YOU,
JACKIE.

THE CUSTOMERS
THAT YOU'RE GOING
TO BE DEALING WITH,

THEY'RE LIKE, THEY'RE--
THEY'RE--THEY'RE LONELY,

THEY'RE
DESPERATE PEOPLE.

THEY'RE PAYING
A BUCK A MINUTE

FOR SOME EMOTION.

YOU WANT THIS JOB?

OH, YES.

YOU GOT
TO MAKE ME COME.

I'VE GOT TO--I'VE GOT--

NOT--NOT LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW, LIKE,
YOU KNOW, FIGURATIVELY

ON THE COUNT. ONE FRY.

HE WANTS YOU
TO TURN HIM ON

BY COUNTING TO 10.

YOU GOT TO DO IT
SEXY--1, 2--

HOT, HOT, HOT.
LIKE THIS. LOOK AT ME.

OH...

2, 3. GO AHEAD.

1...

2...

[GASP]

3...

YEAH.

4...

FASTER.

5...

FASTER.

MICKEY, IT'S HARVEY
ON LINE 2.

7!

YOU GOT THE JOB.

THANK YOU!

TALK TO DORIS OVER THERE.

SHE'LL HANDLE
THE FORMALITIES.

I WANT
TO TALK TO HIM.

LET ME HANDLE THIS.

I CAN TAKE CARE
OF MYSELF.

LET ME HANDLE IT.

SHUT UP.

HARVEY, WHAT IS IT?

I WAS ON MY WAY OUT.

I'M LOOKING FOR CASELLA.

YEAH, RIGHT,
JOE'S STILL WITH ME.

HE'S BEEN HAVING
SOME PROBLEMS LATELY.

MICKEY, I'M ASKING YOU
AS A PERSONAL FAVOR--

DON'T GET INVOLVED
WITH THIS.

HEY, HARVEY,
GO FUCK YOURSELF.

I KNOW YOU TRASHED
THE KID'S APARTMENT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

THAT--THAT'S
YOUR WEAKNESS, HARVEY.

YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS
WITHOUT ANY EVIDENCE.

YOU'RE BLAMING THIS KID

FOR SOMETHING HE HAD
NOTHING TO DO WITH.

THE PRICK SET ME UP.

I'LL USE HIS BALLS
AS A FUCKIN' NECKLACE.

JESUS.

LISTEN TO ME,
YOU COCKSUCKER.

YOU TOUCH THIS KID,
YOU TOUCH ME.

YOU GOT IT?
IF HE COMES IN HERE

WITH EVEN
A FUCKING BRUISE,

YOU DEAL WITH ME.

LEAVE HIM
THE FUCK ALONE!

WHY WON'T YOU LET ME
TALK TO HIM?

YOU WANT TO REASON
WITH HIM?

SHUT THE FUCK UP.
LET ME HANDLE IT!

GODDAMN KID WANTS TO
BE A FUCKIN' HERO!

O.K. ALSO--ALSO,
THE MAN NEVER
READ A BOOK.

EVER.

AND BECAUSE...

BECAUSE
HE HAD WET HANDS.

YOU MADE HIM NERVOUS.

ALL I'M SAYING IS
YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT,

BUT HE LIVES
IN THE CITY,

AND HE'S GOT THE BEST JOB
ON WALL STREET,

AND BRIAN WEARS THE CUTEST
LITTLE HORN-RIMMED GLASSES.

MMM. GREAT. YOU DATE
HIM, ALLY, O.K.?

WHAT, DID MOM
WRITE THIS UNDERWATER?

SHE PROBABLY
JUST WEPT ALL OVER IT.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

OH, THAT'S
THE GUY FROM
THE WINE STORE.

GOOD.

LOOK. LOOK AT ME.

YOU'RE TURNING ME
INTO PAT NIXON.

ALL I WANT IS FOR YOU
TO MEET A NICE, CHARMING,
INTELLIGENT, SEXY--

DO I HAVE
THE RIGHT APARTMENT?

MAN.

I'M LOOKING FOR
ELLEN ARMSTRONG.

AND WHOM SHALL I
SAY IS CALLING?

JOE. CASELLA.
I'M A STUDENT
IN HER CLASS.

ELLEN. ELLEN. ELLEN.

ELLEN, DARLIN',
JOE'S HERE.

I HEARD.

Get a grip.

HI, JOE.

HI.

SO,
WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

WELL, THAT WAS POLITE.

WOULD YOU
LIKE TO COME IN?

I DIDN'T MEAN
TO CATCH YOU
AT A BAD TIME.

NO, NO, NO. JUST TWO SISTERS
TORTURING EACH OTHER.

IS EVERYTHING O.K.?

WELL, YEAH, SURE.

I, UH, I--I
FINISHED THAT PAPER

WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT
IN THE COFFEE SHOP--

THE ONE ABOUT
WHEN I WAS A KID.

OH, GREAT.

I THINK
IT TURNED OUT GOOD.

I JUST HAPPENED TO BE
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.

I FIGURED
I'D JUST DROP IT OFF.

I THINK YOUR...

I THINK YOUR
GARLIC'S BURNING.

YEAH. EXCUSE ME.

ELLEN'S WORKING
ON A NEW RECIPE.

WE'RE
ALL VERY CONCERNED.

HERE IT IS.

READ IT AND WEEP.

GREAT. THANKS.

I, UH, BETTER RUN.
YOU TWO ENJOY DINNER.

DID YOU SCRUB THOSE?

SHOULD YOU?

OH, YEAH. IT'S
SHELLFISH. SURE.

UM...

SCRUB.

SCRUB AND THEN EAT.

LET ME DO THAT
FOR YOU.

I, ON THE OTHER HAND,

I'VE GOT TO PICK UP KEVIN
FROM NINJA CLASS.

IF I'M NOT THERE, HE'LL
HURT THE OTHER CHILDREN.

NO--

JOE, NICE TO MEET YOU.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

YOU'RE SURE THIS IS,
UH, ALL RIGHT

WITH, UH, CONRAD?

WHO?

CONRAD'S ON DUTY
AT THE HOSPITAL.

BESIDES, I HAVE
MY OWN LIFE.

UH, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW,
LITTLE SISTER.

ENJOY YOUR DINNER.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT
HAVE WE GOT HERE?

OREGANO.

I HAD A FRIEND
WHO TOLD ME ONCE--

SHE SAID THAT IF
YOU REALLY LOVE
SOMEBODY--

I MEAN, REALLY,
LIKE, WHERE YOU
CAN'T BREATHE--

IF YOU REALLY
LOVE SOMEBODY
LIKE THAT,

THEN
THEY'RE PROBABLY
LOVING YOU BACK.

DO YOU BELIEVE THAT?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

EXCUSE ME?

WHAT DO YOU WANT
FROM MY CLASS?

I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT YOU.

YOU COOK
LIKE A CHEF,

YOU LOOK LIKE
A MOVIE STAR
OR SOMETHING.

MOVIE STAR.

YOU DO.

WELL, ACTUALLY...

I'M A MALE ESCORT.

SOMEBODY HIRED ME
TO SHOW YOU A GOOD TIME.

MY SISTER'S TOO CHEAP.

WELL...

I'VE GOT A HELL
OF A DAY TOMORROW.

THANK YOU FOR DINNER.

I HAD A...
VERY NICE TIME.

HEY, YOU SCRUBBED
MY CLAMS, YOU KNOW.

I WHAT?

MY GOD!

GET OUT.
YOU BETTER GO.

YEAH.

WELL,
I'LL SEE YOU SOON.

DO YOU LIKE THEATER?

SURE.

WELL,
'CAUSE THERE IS--

THERE'S THIS PLAY
ON WEDNESDAY
NIGHT...

YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE
INTERESTED.

IT'S A DATE.

GREAT.

SO RALPH RUNS OFF
SCREAMING LIKE A WOMAN,

LOOKING FOR A DOCTOR,

AND THIS STUPID IDIOT
FROM ADMITTING
IS THERE.

SHE'S FREAKING OUT.

THE WHOLE ROOM
IS STARING AT ME.

I GRABBED
THIS GUY'S COAT,

LAID THE WOMAN
ON THE FLOOR.

SHE'S SCREAMING,
"MY, GOD, IT'S COMING."

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
THE BABY'S HEAD--

IT WAS LIKE A FOOTBALL.

IT JUST CAME RIGHT OUT,
AND I CAUGHT IT.

YOU DID THIS
ALL BY YOURSELF?

WHERE THE HELL
WAS RALPH?

I SAID HE WAS LOOKING
FOR THE DOCTOR.

ALL BY YOURSELF, HUH?

PRETTY GOOD.

HEY, CON, DID YOU SEE
MY MONEY CLIP?

OH, NEVER MIND.
I GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

7, ALL RIGHT.

I'M CALLING IT OFF.

CALLING OFF WHAT?

OUR DEAL OR WHATEVER
YOU WANT TO CALL IT.
IT'S WRONG.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

YOU CAN'T BAIL OUT ON ME.
WE'RE WINNING.

I DON'T FEEL
LIKE I'M WINNING.

ALL I NEED IS
A LITTLE MORE TIME.

COME ON, NOT LONG.
JUST A FEW MORE DAYS.

YOU KNOW
SHE'S WORTH IT.

YEAH, SHE IS.

SO WHERE ARE YOU
GOING?

I'M GOING TO WORK.
I'LL BE HOME LATE.

THANKS.

BYE.

HELLO, THIS IS YVONNE.

I'M NOT AT HOME.

LEAVE A MESSAGE.

[BEEP]

HI, YVONNE.
IT'S JOE CALLING.

LISTEN, I'M NOT
FEELING TOO GOOD
TONIGHT,

SO I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO CANCEL
FOR LATER ON,

AND I'LL GIVE YOU
A RAIN CHECK.

O.K.

IS EVERYTHING O.K.?

GREAT.

AFTER YOU.

[MODERN MUSIC PLAYING]

[THUNDER]

IT WAS SIMPLE,
BUT IT WAS LOVED.

AND NOW IT STANDS COLD AND
SHRIVELED WITH LONELINESS

AT THE EDGE OF TIME.

I DON'T THINK
THESE PEOPLE
EVEN LIKED IT.

LET'S GO.

LET'S GO.

ELLEN!

ELLEN.

HI.

HI.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

OH, YOU LOOK AMAZING.

JOE, THIS IS
MY FRIEND CONNIE.

HEY, CONNIE,
HOW ARE YOU DOING?

FINE.

PLEASURE.

AHEM.

SO YOU GUYS KNOW
WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT?

IT WAS LIKE...

REALLY SILLY.

WELL...WE SHOULD
GET GOING.

GUESS YOU GOT, WHAT,
DINNER PLANS OR SOMETHING?

YEAH.
IT'S A PLEASURE
TO MEET YOU.

YEAH.

WAIT. THERE'S THIS GREAT
NEW CUBAN RESTAURANT

DOWN ON CORNELIA.

OH, GREAT.

DO YOU STILL
LOVE PLANTAINS?

YEAH, I DO.

THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
THANKS.

YOU READY?

YEAH. TAKE CARE.

EXCUSE ME.

I NEED A STORY,
YOU KNOW.

THERE WAS NO STORY.

COULD YOU TELL ME
WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT?

THAT'S WHY
I'M TAKING YOUR CLASS,

BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS
READ A LOT,

BUT I REALLY WANT
TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE.

JOE, I NEED TO TELL
YOU SOMETHING.

THAT WOMAN
BACK THERE,

THAT WOMAN
WE JUST MET...

YEAH, SURE.

SHE--SHE AND I
WERE A COUPLE.

WE WERE A COUPLE.

WE WERE
LIVING TOGETHER.

UH, CONNIE.

YEAH. CONRAD.

STUPID.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
I LIED ABOUT THAT,
YOU KNOW.

I GUESS...
I DON'T KNOW.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
THINK ABOUT THAT.

BUT, UM...

YOU KNOW,
I'M--I'M SORRY.

SO WHAT ARE YOU, UH...

WHAT ARE YOU,
ARE YOU STILL TOGETHER?

NO.

DO YOU, UH...

WHAT, DO YOU STILL
LOVE HER?

YEAH, I DO.

I LOVE HER.

CONNIE'S
IN MY HEART.

UH, BUT IT'S
NOT LIKE YOU CAN

MAKE YOURSELF
STAY IN LOVE.

YOU CAN'T.

IT'S NOT LIKE
YOU CAN--

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU
CAN TAKE SOME PILL

THAT KEEPS YOU
IN LOVE FOREVER.

HEY, HEY, HEY.
COME HERE.

IT'S O.K.

CAN I ASK YOU
SOMETHING?

SURE.

WHAT IS THIS THING
ON TOP OF YOUR HEAD?

I'M SERIOUS.
WHAT HAVE YOU
GOT IN THERE?

ARE YOU STORING
CHANGE IN THERE?

YOUR LIPSTICK
UP THERE?

THIS IS A VERY
SOPHISTICATED HAIR STYLE.

HELLO.

IT ONLY TOOK ME
HALF THE DAY, CREEP.

[MUMBLING]

YOU WANT ME
TO TAKE IT DOWN?

I CAN TAKE IT DOWN.

NO,
I'M ONLY KIDDING.

YOU HATE IT.

I LOVE IT.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL
YOU MAKE MY HEART
STOP.

* SUMMER GREEN
TURNS GRAY COLD *

* THE BOYS WERE LEAVIN'
WE WERE TOLD *

* AND SO WE SAID GOODBYE *

JOE...

JOE, I WANT YOU
TO STAY HERE TONIGHT.

* PLAYIN' WITH US
IN THE STREAM *

O.K., STAY WITH ME.

* TO ALL OUR HEROES... *

I CAN'T, UM...

I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST...

I CAN'T STAY
TONIGHT.

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING. IT'S, UM...

IT'S NOT YOU,
IT'S ME.

I JUST CAN'T...
STAY HERE...

UH, NOW, TONIGHT.

THIS IS CRAZY.

I'M SORRY.

I BETTER--
I BETTER GO.

SORRY.

GOOD NIGHT.

COME ON. OOH.

I'LL SEDUCE
YOUR FOOT.

COME TO BED.

I'LL KISS
YOUR TOES.

I'LL KISS
YOUR LITTLE TOES.

ALL RIGHT,
NOW GO BACK TO THE CAMERA

LIKE YOU WERE.

GO LIKE THIS.

THAT CLOSE, O.K.

NOW TELL ME
WHAT YOU LIKE ABOUT ME.

COME ON, DO IT.
DO IT.

COME ON, O.K.
TELL ME.

THINK OF SOMETHING.

I'M THINKING.

NO, NO, NO. COME ON.

OFF THE TOP
OF YOUR HEAD.

YOU'RE SWEET,
AND YOU'RE FUNNY,
AND YOU'RE LOVING,

AND YOU'RE WARM...

ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?

AND YOU'RE
MY BEST FRIEND,

AND
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL,

AND YOU HAVE LEGS
FOR DAYS,

AND YOU'RE
A GREAT KISSER.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING
TO GET OVER THIS--

THIS OBSESSION,

THESE STUPID,
FUCKING VIDEOS?

IT'S PATHETIC.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE
WHAT VIDEOS I WATCH?

I CAN WATCH
WHATEVER VIDEOS
I WANT TO.

WHAT THE HELL WERE
YOU DOING THERE?

WHAT WAS THAT
ALL ABOUT?

I WANTED
TO SEE HER.

WELL, YOU SAW HER,
ALL RIGHT?

YOU FEEL BETTER?

WHAT HAPPENED
TONIGHT?

WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU ALMOST FUCKED
EVERYTHING UP.

THAT'S ALMOST WHAT
HAPPENED TONIGHT.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE GOING TO WORK.

I WAS WORKING,
REMEMBER?

HOW COULD
THEY NOT LOVE YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M EXHAUSTED.

MAYBE ONCE
THEY GET OVER
THEIR SHOCK.

I'M GOING TO BED.

IT'LL BE O.K.

I KNOW, IT'S LIKE
THE UNSPOKEN THING.

WE'RE ALL PASSIVE,
AGGRESSIVE,

AND CRAZY AND POLISH
AND CATHOLIC,

AND WE'RE PRETTY FUNNY.

THEY'RE GOING TO LOVE YOU.

I KNOW IT.

MY MOM WILL LOVE YOU.

WHERE?

ALL RIGHT,
LOOK. WAIT HERE,

AND DON'T COME OVER
TILL I CALL YOU.

HARVEY.

HEY, STILL MAD AT ME?

HEY, WHAT IS THIS THING?

IS IT FOR THE ARMS?

GET THAT
PIECE OF SHIT
OUT OF MY SIGHT.

HEY, HARVEY, COME ON.
THIS IS JOEY.

JOEY'S COOL,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.

IF HE SAYS
HE DIDN'T TURN YOU IN,

HE DIDN'T TURN YOU IN.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?

THIS IS A COMMUNICATION
SITUATION HERE.

COME ON, DO IT FOR ME.

WOULD YOU GUYS
KISS AND MAKE UP?

I MEAN, TALK TO HIM.
HE FEELS LIKE SHIT.

DON'T FUCK
WITH MY MIND, MAN.

I KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED.

I KNOW WHAT HE DID.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO GET
IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS?

I DON'T KNOW
WHERE YOU GET
YOUR INFORMATION,

BUT IT'S WRONG, PAL.

TAKE IT EASY.

YOU THINK
I'D WASTE MY TIME

TALKING TO THE COPS
OR ANYBODY
ABOUT YOU?

YOU'D SELL YOUR MOTHER
FOR MONEY. YOU'RE A WHORE.

EXACTLY. EXACTLY, HARVEY.

HE IS. HE'S A WHORE.

YOU'RE A WHORE...

BUT HE'S MY FUCKING WHORE.

LOOK AT
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE.

YOU FUCK WITH THAT FACE,
YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME.

SO LET'S JUST
CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

HOW DO I MAKE THIS RIGHT
WITH YOU?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I WANT TO SEE
THIS ASSHOLE

ON A STRETCHER.

I WANT TO SEE
HIS FUCKING BONES BROKEN.

YOU WANT TO
THROW DOWN?
FUCK YOU.

COME ON.

WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME?

GET THE FUCK--

HEY, FUCK YOU.

STAY HERE. I WANT
TO TALK TO YOU.

GET OVER HERE.
COME HERE,
COME HERE.

MOTHERFUCKERS.

GET OUT OF HERE.
LET ME TALK TO HIM.

GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU GOT A DATE. GO.

I'M NOT WORKING.
I GOT PLANS.

I CALLED YOUR
MACHINE LAST NIGHT.

I TOLD YOU
YOU HAVE A DATE.

HERE.

YEAH, HERE. DONNA.

GO. JUST GO.

WAIT A MINUTE.

GO AHEAD.

WHAT, AM I SUPPOSED
TO GO LIKE THIS?

THEY DON'T CARE.
THEY CARE ABOUT
WHAT YOU DON'T WEAR.

HEY, WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO?

HE FUCKED ME,
MICKEY,

AND HE'S GOING
TO FUCK YOU.

I'M SORRY.

JOE, CUT IT OUT.
THIS IS STUPID, O.K.

YOU DON'T WANT
TO BE HERE, FINE,

JUST DON'T WASTE MY TIME.

I DO WANT
TO BE HERE. WHAT?

I WANT
TO BE WITH YOU.

FORGET IT.

ELLEN.

WHAT--WHAT
DO YOU WANT?

I WANT TO KNOW
WHO YOU ARE.

I DON'T GET IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
WHO AM I?

LOOK, YOU'RE NOT
A WRITING STUDENT.

YOU'RE CERTAINLY
NOT WITH ME.

WHO ARE YOU?

I'M JUST JOE.

THAT'S NOT
GOOD ENOUGH, JOE.

DID YOU BRING
YOUR ASSIGNMENT?

IT WAS TO DESCRIBE
YOUR FEAR.

I DIDN'T DO IT.

DO IT NOW.

DO WHAT?
THIS IS...IT'S BLANK.

DESCRIBE YOUR FEARS.

LOOK, I CAN'T
DO THIS, O.K.

I JUST...THIS IS STUPID.

I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.

NO.

I'M THE IDIOT.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

HEY, NO, NO. WAIT.

HEY, COME HERE.

I'M...JUST,
YOU KNOW...

I'M AFRAID
OF...NOTHING.

NOT REAL.

I'M AFRAID
OF MYSELF, YOU KNOW,

WHAT I AM.

WHAT AM I TO DO?

I'M AFRAID
OF YOUR HONESTY

AND THE WAY
YOU MAKE ME FEEL...

AND THE THINGS
YOU MAKE ME SEE.

I FEEL SO WEAK
SOMETIMES.

YOU'RE NOT WEAK.

I'M NOT VERY GOOD
AT THIS.

IT'S HARD TO SAY.
THAT'S TOUGH.

SORRY.

THANK YOU.

[WOMAN TALKING]

OH, DARLING,
I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND.

LAST TIME
I USED THESE PEOPLE

THEY PUT WAY TOO MUCH SALT
ON EVERYTHING.

I SPENT MORE ON WATER
THAN I DID ON THE FOOD.

DON'T LET THEM SELL YOU ON
THE DIM SUM OR THE CANAPES.

THEY'LL CHARGE YOU
A FORTUNE,

AND EVERYONE'S
STILL HUNGRY.

YEAH.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

YEAH. AH. YEAH.

THEY HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY
SNIPPY BARTENDER--JUAN.

DON'T IF THEY
GIVE YOU JUAN.

ASK FOR, UH...

ASK FOR NEIL.

HE'S TALL, AND HE MAKES
A PERFECT MANHATTAN.

YEAH, I KNOW,

AND THEY'RE GOING TO TRY
AND SOAK YOU ON THE WINE,

BUT THEY HAVE A PERFECTLY
GOOD CHARDONNAY--

'83. YEAH.

IT'S CHEAPER, AND NOBODY
WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

I GOT TO GET OFF.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU?

I'M SORRY. I'M JUST...

I'M JUST TIRED.

WELL,
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I CAN HELP YOU
WITH THAT.

STOP IT.
DON'T TOUCH ME.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

DON'T...

DON'T TOUCH ME.

LAST TIME YOU
CANCELED ON ME,

AND NOW YOU'RE
PLAYING GAMES
WITH ME.

GET OUT
OF THOSE CLOTHES
AND INTO BED.

I DON'T WANT
TO TOUCH YOU.

YOU MAKE ME SICK.

I MAKE YOU SICK?

OH, JOE.
I'VE SPOILED YOU.

YOU THINK
YOU'RE SPECIAL.
YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL,

BUT I DO OWN YOU
TILL TOMORROW
MORNING.

WHERE DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE GOING?

JOE, GET BACK HERE.

YOU CAN'T WALK OUT
ON ME, JOE.

I'LL CALL MICKEY.

YOUR TROUBLE'S
JUST BEGINNING, JOE.

THIS ISN'T THE END
OF THIS.

ELLEN.

HEY.

HI.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

I HAVE TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING.

WHAT?

MY LIFE
IS SUCH A MESS.

IT'S O.K.

COME HERE. IT'S O.K.

* HE DEALS THE CARDS *

* AS A MEDITATION *

* AND THOSE HE PLAYS
NEVER SUSPECT *

* HE DOESN'T PLAY
FOR THE MONEY HE WINS *

* HE DOESN'T PLAY
FOR RESPECT *

* HE DEALS THE CARDS
TO FIND THE ANSWER *

* THE SACRED GEOMETRY
OF CHANCE *

* THE HIDDEN LAW
OF A PROBABLE OUTCOME *

* THE NUMBERS LEAD A DANCE *

* I KNOW THAT THE SPADES *

* ARE THE SWORDS
OF A SOLDIER *

* I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS
ARE WEAPONS OF WAR *

* I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS *

* MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART *

* BUT THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE
OF MY HEART *

* HE MAY PLAY
THE JACK OF DIAMONDS *

* HE MAY LAY
THE QUEEN OF SPADES *

* HE MAY CONCEAL *

* THE KING IN HIS HAND *

* WHILE THE MEMORY
OF IT FADES *

I LOVE YOU.

* I KNOW THAT THE SPADES *

* ARE THE SWORDS
OF A SOLDIER *

* I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS
ARE WEAPONS OF WAR *

* I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS *

* MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART *

* BUT THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE
OF MY HEART *

* THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE *

* THE SHAPE OF MY HEART *

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU DID THIS TO ME.

YVONNE'S FURIOUS.

SHE'S
MY BEST CLIENT.

DID YOU EVER THINK
ABOUT RETIRING, MICK?

PLEASE, PLEASE.
JOEY, JOEY.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

SO SHE'S
A LITTLE CRAZY.
SO WHAT?

NO, IT'S NOT JUST HER.
IT'S EVERYTHING.

I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.

WHAT IS THIS, SOME
BULLSHIT FANTASY?

YOU WANT
TO PRETEND YOU'RE
SOMEBODY ELSE?

IS THAT IT?

ALL RIGHT, JUST
OUT OF CURIOSITY,

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO
FOR MONEY?

ARE YOU GOING
TO DIG DITCHES?

ARE YOU GOING
TO SELL NEWSPAPERS
ON THE CORNER?

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO?

HOW ARE YOU
GOING TO GET BY,

WITH YOUR BRAINS?

WITH YOUR WONDERFUL
PERSONALITY?

IT'S YOUR DICK, JOE.

YOUR DICK,

AND I'M THE GUY
THAT KNOWS WHERE
TO SEND IT,

TO MAKE YOU MORE
MONEY THAN YOU
EVER DREAMT OF.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GOING TO DO,

BUT I'M NOT
DOING THIS ANYMORE.

I'LL BARTEND, WAIT TABLES,
GO TO SCHOOL. WHO KNOWS?

GO TO SCHOOL?

I'D LIKE
TO SEE THAT.

HERE YOU GO,
TEACHER.

HERE'S A NICE
SHINY APPLE,

OR BETTER YET,
I'M KIND OF DUMB.

MAYBE I CAN
FUCK YOU AFTER CLASS
FOR AN "A."

YOU WANT ME
TO SAY O.K.?

YOU'RE RIGHT.
GO AHEAD.

GO TO SCHOOL.
I'LL SEE YOU
AT GRADUATION.

YOU WERE NOTHING
WHEN I MET YOU.

I TURNED YOU
INTO SOMETHING,

AND IF YOU THINK
I'M GOING TO LET YOU
WALK AWAY

AFTER ALL THAT,

THEN YOU'RE WRONG,

DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT,
DO YOU?

I'M NOT GOING
TO APOLOGIZE TO NOBODY,

AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE
ANYWHERE AT 8:00 OR 9:00
OR 10:00

TO FUCK ANYBODY.

GOT IT?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

JOEY.

LOOK, WHAT THE HELL
ARE WE FIGHTING FOR?

COME ON BACK
IN THE OFFICE.

WE CAN
WORK THIS OUT.

JOEY.

[DOOR CLOSES]

HARVEY.

WE GOT TO TALK,
CONNIE.

WOULD YOU STOP CLEANING?

I SPENT THE NIGHT
WITH HER, CONNIE.

OH, REALLY?

LOOK, DO YOU HEAR
WHAT I'M SAYING?

DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THIS MEANS?

CONNIE, I CAN'T
DO THIS ANYMORE.

HOW DARE YOU
LIVE WITH ME

IN MY HOME

AND FUCK
MY GIRLFRIEND.

I TRUSTED YOU.

YOU ANIMAL.

CONNIE, LOOK,
I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T
WANT TO HURT--

GET OUT!

GET OUT!

I DIDN'T WANT
TO HURT YOU.

WOULD YOU STOP?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

STOP IT, WILL YOU?

GET OUT
OF MY HOUSE!

GET OUT!

CONNIE, OPEN THE DOOR,
WOULD YOU, PLEASE?

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

PLEASE, JUST OPEN UP.

CONNIE, OPEN THE DOOR.

[BANGING]

OPEN UP
THE GOD DAMN DOOR!

OPEN UP! LET ME IN!

AAH!

OH, MY GOD! STOP!

HI. MY NAME IS HARVEY.

MISS ME, FUCK HEAD?

[CONNIE]
OH, GOD.

GET HER OUT OF HERE.

JOE! JOE!

JOE!

NOW WE'RE GOING
TO TEACH YOU
SOME RESPECT, JOE.

DO HIM GOOD.

[CONNIE]
NO!

NO!

AAH!

OH, GOD!

OH, GOD!

WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHERE IS HE?

ELLEN, I'M SO GLAD
YOU'RE HERE.

JOE'S BEEN BEAT UP.
HE'S BEEN BEAT UP
PRETTY BAD.

HE'S OVER THERE.
HE'S GOING TO BE O.K.

ELLEN, NO MATTER WHAT,
I DID IT BECAUSE I LOVE YOU.

I WANTED YOU TO KNOW--

HOW DO YOU KNOW JOE?

JOE'S
A MALE ESCORT, O.K.?

I HIRED HIM
TO GET YOU BACK.

OH,
THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS,
CONNIE.

COME ON.

CONNIE, STOP.

HI.

TELL HER, JOE.

COME ON,
TELL HER THE TRUTH.

SHE DOESN'T
BELIEVE ME.
COME ON.

GOD DAMN IT, JOE.

TELL HER ABOUT US.

IT'S NOT TRUE.

I KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE,
RIGHT?

COME ON, TELL ME.

I'M SORRY.

IS IT? IS IT TRUE?

I TRIED TO TELL YOU.

OH, GOD.

YOU TWO
DESERVE EACH OTHER.

ELLEN, WAIT, WAIT.
I CAN--

WE BLEW IT.

HEY, KID.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.

THE DOC SAYS
YOU'LL BE OUT SOON.

FUCKING HARVEY,

HE CAN'T DO NOTHING
WITHOUT RESORTING
TO VIOLENCE.

OH, I, UH...

I ALSO, UH...

I GOT YOU...

A GET-WELL PRESENT,

BUT, UH...
WHAT DID I DO WITH IT?

UH...
HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

UH...YOU KNOW,
I FIGURED WHILE
YOU'RE RECUPERATING,

MAYBE, YOU KNOW,
WE'LL MAKE
A FEW BUCKS.

YVONNE CALLED.

SHE, UH...
SHE LIKES TO TALK
ON THE PHONE.

MAYBE YOU CAN
GIVE HER A CALL,

YOU KNOW, MAKE UP.

YOU DID THIS
TO ME, MICKEY.

YOU DID IT.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

YOU WERE
THE ONLY ONE WHO
KNEW THE ADDRESS,

THE ONLY ONE
WHO COULD HAVE
TOLD HARVEY.

ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?

I WOULD NEVER
DO THAT TO YOU. NEVER.

I SWEAR
ON MY MOTHER

I WOULDN'T
DO THAT TO YOU.

I MEAN, I PAID
YOUR HOSPITAL BILL,
FOR CHRIST'S SAKES.

ALL YOU EVER
TALK ABOUT

IS THE THINGS
YOU DONE FOR ME,

HOW I NEED YOU...

WHEN THE TRUTH IS
YOU USED ME

SINCE THE FUCKING
START...

AND I'M THROUGH WITH
THAT, YOU HEAR ME?

I'M THROUGH
WITH THAT.

SO WHY DON'T YOU
DO ME A FAVOR

AND JUST GET
THE HELL OUT
OF HERE, HUH?

IF YOU DON'T
GET OUT OF HERE,
MICKEY,

I'M AFRAID OF WHAT
I MIGHT FUCKING
DO TO YOU!

GET OUT OF HERE!

WHAT THE HELL IS
TAKING SO LONG HERE?

A LOT
OF PAPERWORK.

I'LL SAY.

RELAX.

THANKS FOR COMING
AND GETTING ME
OUT OF THIS PLACE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WHAT'S THIS FOR?

HOSPITAL PROCEDURE.

WHAT, DO I LOOK
LIKE I CAN'T WALK?

IF YOU'RE CARRIED IN,
YOU WHEEL OUT.

THIS IS INSANE.

I'M AN RN.
I'LL WHEEL HIM OUT.

I DON'T CARE WHO PUSHES,

AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN IT.

I'LL BE BACK
WITH YOUR PAPERS.

WHILE WE'RE STILL YOUNG.

SO DID YOU TALK
TO ELLEN?

I TRIED.

I MUST HAVE CALLED HER
A MILLION TIMES,

BUT SHE WON'T PICK UP.

SO?

SO THAT...THAT'S IT.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

GO SEE HER.

GO SEE HER.

CONNIE, SHE DON'T
WANT TO SEE ME.

SHE...
SHE DON'T LOVE ME.

BULLSHIT.

SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME.

JESUS,
IT TOOK ME A WHILE
TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

I WAS TURNING INTO
THE MAD STALKER.

PRETTY GLAD
I DIDN'T SEND HER
MY NUDE PHOTOS.

OW! OW!

I JUST COULDN'T
LET HER GO.

LOVE IS LIKE
SOME FUCKING FORCE
OF NATURE.

YOU CAN'T TRICK IT.

YOU SURE
CAN'T CONTROL IT.

BUT THAT'S
THE GREAT PART.
THAT'S THE RIDE.

ENJOY IT, JOE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

IT'LL NEVER WORK
AFTER WHAT WE DID TO HER.

IT'LL WORK.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE
I KNOW WOMEN.

I CAN GET ANY WOMAN,
ANYPLACE, ANYTIME.

GUARANTEED.

OW! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.

IT HURTS MY RIBS.

O.K., HERE YOU GO.

COME ON.
HOP IN, CASELLA.

I'LL GIVE YOU
A RIDE.

UH, TOUCH .

COME ON, I'M
A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL.

THAT'S WHAT
WORRIES ME.

SEE YOU LATER.

WE CAN STILL
MAKE THAT SHOW.

GOING UPTOWN.

JULIE, WAIT FOR ME.

I'M OUT OF HERE,
GUYS.

YOU WANT TO GET A CAB?

TAXI!

HEY.

I'M SORRY.

NO.

ELLEN, WHAT
COULD I DO? I...

DO?

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

NOTHING.

"FORGIVE ME
THE WRONG I'VE DONE YOU...

"AND FOR NEVER HAVING
THROWN MYSELF AT YOUR FEET

"AND BEGGED
YOUR FORGIVENESS.

I DO SO NOW
WITH ALL MY HEART."

YOU SEE, I...

I LISTENED, ELLEN.

I HEARD YOU.

ELLEN,
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND

THAT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE
IS DIFFERENT NOW?

I MEAN, BECAUSE OF YOU.

I WAS A HUSTLER.
I HUSTLED YOU.

YOU WERE BRILLIANT.

NO.

I SCREWED UP...

BECAUSE
I FELL IN LOVE,

AND I NEVER
EXPECTED THAT.

LOOK,
I KNOW YOU THINK

EVERY WORD
OUT OF MY MOUTH
IS A LIE.

WOULDN'T YOU?

I JUST WANT YOU
TO KNOW THE TRUTH.

I LOVE YOU.

I--I REALLY
SHOULD GET GOING.

O.K.

YOU KNOW,
I'M NOT GOING
TO CHASE YOU

OR, YOU KNOW,
PRESSURE YOU
OR ANYTHING...

IF YOU NEED TIME.

YEAH, O.K.

FUCK THIS.

[HONKING]

ELLEN!

ELLEN!

ELLEN!

WELL,
THAT WAS IMPRESSIVE.

I COULD HAVE CAUGHT
THAT CAB IN HEELS.

YOU SEE?

YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS
I TAKE YOUR ADVICE?

WHO KNEW YOU WERE
GOING TO BE SO SLOW?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING HERE, ANYWAY?

I THOUGHT YOU
GAVE UP STALKING.

I'M NOT STALKING.

I'M LURKING.

BESIDES, ELLEN AND I
HAD A DATE.

YEAH, RIGHT.

CALM DOWN, HANDSOME.

I'M JUST RETURNING
SOME OF HER STUFF.

SWITCHING
TO LASER DISC.

IT'S THE WAVE
OF THE FUTURE.

SO...

WHAT NOW, DR. LOVE?

I ALREADY TRIED
APOLOGIZING.

EVER HEAR OF
EXPENSIVE JEWELRY?

I'M OUT OF WORK,
REMEMBER?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S A DRAG.

YEAH, YOU AIN'T KIDDING.

SO, CON, I WAS THINKING.

SINCE I GOT TO GET OUT
OF MY PLACE, MAYBE--

OUT OF THE QUESTION.

COUPLE DAYS!

CONNIE...

YOU COULD GET ELLEN
BACK FOR ME.

YOU'RE GOOD
WITH WOMEN...

GET AWAY FROM ME!

HA HA HA HA!

COME HERE.

O.K., I'LL--
I'LL GET HER BACK...

UNDER ONE CONDITION.

WHAT'S THAT?

JUST DON'T INVITE ME
TO THE WEDDING.

I HATE WEDDINGS.

OH, YEAH?

ANYWAY, I KNOW YOU--

YOU'RE GOING
TO GET DRUNK,

YOU'RE GOING
TO WANT TO KISS ME.

ELLEN WILL GO MOCUS.

HA HA HA HA!

IT'LL BE A NIGHTMARE.

IT'LL BE ROMANTIC.

* HE DEALS THE CARDS *

* AS A MEDITATION *

* AND THOSE HE PLAYS
NEVER SUSPECT *

* HE DOESN'T PLAY *

* FOR THE MONEY HE WINS *

* HE DOESN'T PLAY
FOR RESPECT *

* HE DEALS THE CARDS
TO FIND THE ANSWER *

* THE SACRED GEOMETRY
OF CHANCE *

* THE HIDDEN LAW *

* OF A PROBABLE OUTCOME *

* THE NUMBERS
LEAD A DANCE *

* I KNOW THAT THE SPADES *

* ARE THE SWORDS
OF A SOLDIER *

* I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS
ARE WEAPONS OF WAR *

* I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS *

* MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART *

* BUT THAT'S NOT
THE SHAPE OF MY HEART *

* HE MAY PLAY
THE JACK OF DIAMONDS *

* HE MAY LAY
THE QUEEN OF SPADES *

* AND HE MAY CONCEAL *

* THE KING IN HIS HAND *

* WHILE THE MEMORY
OF IT FADES *

* I KNOW THAT THE SPADES *

* ARE THE SWORDS
OF A SOLDIER *

* I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS
ARE WEAPONS OF WAR *

* I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS *

* MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART *

* BUT THAT'S NOT
THE SHAPE OF MY HEART *

* THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE *

* THE SHAPE OF MY HEART *

* AND IF I TOLD HER
THAT I LOVED YOU *

* YOU MAYBE THINK
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG *

* I MET A MAN *

* WITH TOO MANY FACES *

* THE MASK
I WEAR IS ONE *

* ALTHOUGH THEY SPEAK,
KNOW NOTHIN' *

* OR FIND OUT
TO THEIR CROSS *

* LIKE THOSE WHO CURSE
THEIR LUCK *

* IN TOO MANY PLACES *

* FOR THOSE
WHO FEAR ARE LOST *

* I KNOW THAT THE SPADES *

* ARE THE SWORDS
OF A SOLDIER *

* I KNOW THAT THE CLUBS
ARE WEAPONS OF WAR *

* I KNOW THAT DIAMONDS *

* MEAN MONEY FOR THIS ART *

* BUT THAT'S NOT
THE SHAPE OF MY HEART *

* THAT'S NOT
THE SHAPE OF MY HEART *

* THAT'S NOT THE SHAPE *

* THE SHAPE OF MY HEART *