Three from the Filling Station (1930) - full transcript
Willy, Kurt and Hans are broke, so they sell their car and open a filling station. Then they all fall in love with the same girl.
Sunny day, blissful day,
hopeful heart, the motor running
Laughing goal, laughing start
and a beautiful drive
Passed Rome and Madrid,
a trio reeling through life
Over the sea, over the land
we came to realise
That a friend, a good friend
Is the best thing in the world.
A friend's always faithful
Even if the whole world
collapses
So don't get upset
If your sweetheart
no longer loves you
A friend, a good friend
Is the best thing that there is
Here we are at home again.
Do you see that? No one here
to open up for us.
- No wonder, we've come unannounced.
- And were gone 3 months.
You can't expect the servants
to be ready.
- Pet, where is he?
- There he is.
Where's the dreadful bird?
- What's to eat?
- Betty, where are you?
No one here.
What's that?
Look over here.
What is it?
- It looks like a cuckoo.
- What's that?
- A bailiff's seal?
- A bailiff's seal?
How did that get here?
We're in a nice mess.
Come here.
You are reminded of the auction
of all your distrained furniture.
- It will be fetched on June 18.
- At eleven in the morning.
June 18, that's today.
And it's eleven o'clock now.
Someone's made a silly joke.
I don't think this joke
is much to laugh about.
- Who are you calling?
- Our lawyer.
Dr. Kalmus' office here.
Helbing.
Can I speak to Dr. Kalmus?
Dr. Kalmus. Who's there?
Here's Helbing.
The three mad musketeers
are back.
Hello! Hello!
Miss Mondschein,
what do we do now?
Break it gently.
Break it gently...
- Pardon, who's there?
- Helbing.
Tell me what's going on?
What a good lawyer...
...if our home's distrained
whilst we're away?
You should've prevented it.
With a few words I can...
You had our instructions...
But for God's sake...
Stop a minute, please.
- Don't shout at me.
- No more of your cheek!
- You can't beat that!
- I won't put up with this.
It's a misunderstanding.
I don't mean you.
Hang it, be quiet now!
- Did he hurt you?
- Shouting at me!
Something very unpleasant
has happened in the meantime.
Something unpleasant? What?
Give it to me. Something very
unpleasant? What? An earthquake?
Change of government in
Lippe-Detmold?
Or perhaps your wife's
had a blond baby?
Be sensible.
What... even worse.
Gentlemen, may I have
your kind attention.
- To break it gently, you're bankrupt.
- Bankrupt?
Yes, bankrupt. B for beggar,
A for ancient debts...
...N for never paid,
K for kept...
...R for really penniless,
U for utterly poor...
...P for poverty,
and T for... touch wood.
There's a lot of money
in our bank account.
- That's what you think.
- We only have to ring up.
You won't get through.
There are cells were
your banker is...
...but not phone-boxes.
- Cells?
- Cells?
Yes, C like credit difficulties,
E like a mess...
...two I's like imprisoned for life.
Imprisoned?
Your money's gone.
We don't own a penny?
Are completely broke?
Broke isn't the word. Stone broke.
If I may spell it for you...
B for...
And the same to you.
It seems to be out of order.
Cuckoo
It calls from the wilds
Dear good Bailiff
Go away
You won't find anything here
The call comes from the wilds
lt'll soon be time for us
to stop wearing dinner jackets
Oh, how shall we feel.
We must forget about
playing polo, eating oysters
Oh, how it hurts.
We had goods and money,
and thousand things
Now the beautiful life's over
Instead of whiskey only lemonade
Instead of caviar, marmelade
Good God, we're bankrupt
Cuckoo
Cuckoo
It calls from the woods
Dear good Bailiff
Go away
You'll find nothing here
Cuckoo
Cuckoo
It calls back from the woods
Here we are
Take a firm hold
Use your muscles
Then we'll manage
Look, my seal's stuck here
on each piece
You can see it at a glance
The vulture's bondsman.
Dear Augustin
Everything, everything's gone.
Good-bye, dear couch
Who knows, when I'll see you again
Good-bye dear silver cabinet,
I'll remember you all my life
They're taking the carpet as well
Who knows who'll walk on it
They only leave the walls standing
And we, we have to go
on the dol
Sweet doing nothing, doing as we
please, we'll have to change
Fortune's angry with us
Money alone doesn't make you happy
But as soon as you've got no
money you become nervous
We only saw work from afar
And even from afar
it didn't look nice
Back!
What does that mean?
Oh God, he wants to bite me
Get out!
We're going
Dear good Bailiff
Go away,
you won't find anything here
Now it's up to us
The car's the only thing
he didn't take.
What do we know?
Work.
What have we learned to do?
Tennis.
Dancing.
Driving.
Something must happen.
- What's wrong?
- Not a drop of petrol.
Then we must fill up.
- But where?
- Where?
- We'll see.
There isn't a petrol station
far and wide.
Unbelievable on such a busy road
where hundreds of cars drive past daily.
Our future's ensured.
We'll get rid of our car...
...and set up a petrol station here
with the money.
And we'll call the petrol
station "Cuckoo".
Sunny world, blissful world,
joined us together for ever
Love dies, love blows away,
friendship alone remains
Yes, you forget your kisses
because fidelity's old-fashioned
Yes, we betrayed many a woman,
but we stick together
A friend, a good friend
Is the best thing
in the world
A friend remains a friend
Even when the whole world
collapses
So don't be upset
If your sweetheart
no longer loves you.
A friend, a good friend
Is the greatest treasure
there is
Well and now to work.
How have we done?
Isn't it beautiful?
Slim as a bayadere.
You can fatten yourself up
as well.
Children...
...our first customer.
Pay attention, now, now, now.
Here come our first earnings.
- Good day, sir.
- What can I do for you?
- What would you like?
- What can I do for you?
Air.
Yes, the air's good here,
we've got fantastic air.
In the tyres!
He's an idiot.
Anything else?
- Water.
- Pardon?
Water.
- My God, he's thirsty.
- Water for the radiator.
An idiot. Can't we give
you some petrol?
Yes, a little.
But I'd like to say
you'll break my neck.
He even laughs, the stupid boy.
- Is the tank here or there?
- There.
- Then put some in.
- Of course.
Enough.
Was the gentleman satisfied
with my water?
- OK.
- Have a good journey.
The air was for me.
Another one.
Is there another one?
Ten pfennigs?
Ten pfennigs.
Our own earnings.
Hello Willy, get up!
It's seven o'clock.
You must get up.
Me? Why me?
You must go to the petrol station.
Hans will be back any moment.
You must get up.
Today you're on duty.
Yesterday I cooked and tidied up
and Hans the day before.
This three shift system
makes me sick.
- You can never lie in.
- I can.
Even when you're so tired
after eight hours...
...working at the petrol station.
Quick, hurry, breakfast.
Hurry, quick, get up.
Hans needs his bed.
- Quiet, I want to eat.
- Enjoy your meal.
- Help! Murderer! Robber! Police!
- Shut up!
Be quiet!
- You.
- Please rock me a bit more.
How about that!
I was sleeping so well.
I hope you're not too angry
with me for disturbing you.
It's great.
What can I do for you?
Guess.
I guess.
I've got it! Petrol or oil.
You're brilliant.
What do you say now?
Great.
I'd like 2 litres of oil
if you can spare some.
I can.
2 litres of oil for you anytime.
One moment.
Straight away.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- What's that?
- For our regulars.
- Nice. Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye. Great.
Great... Yes, that's
enough for today.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
Brilliant... great.
Damned beast!
Now the beast's running.
Here's the tea.
- Milk.
- Sorry, I forgot.
Miserable service.
Here's the milk.
Marmelade.
Here's your marmelade.
My toast!
Old pig.
Who's in there?
Doesn't it taste good?
When I think of how we ate
breakfast three months ago.
You've no reason to complain.
The petrol station's doing well.
- The coffee's bad.
- We've got a nice house.
- The milk's burnt.
- And even bought a car.
Don't exaggerate.
Look what a row it makes.
It's a slow-combustion stove.
Move - petrol station.
What?
- A sip.
- Out of the question.
- Give it to me. Give it.
- Go to work.
- What am I? Your dog?
- No, you're lazy.
- Does it taste good?
- Wonderful.
I made it.
- What can I do for you?
- 30 litres of petrol.
And five litres of oil.
Straight away.
- What can I do for you?
- Water for the radiator.
- What can I do for you?
- 20 litres of petrol.
50 litres of petrol.
A can of oil.
To drive a car, drive a car
Is the greatest weakness
of every little woman
And all young girls dream
Today of a driving licence
Super cars, classy cars,
with a sweet girl in it
And a sky of blue
Who wouldn't want to be
her partner
And many a man calls out:
Hello, you sweet lady
Don't drive alone,
you could steer wrongly
And pass by happiness
Why, my sweetheart?
I need all the room for myself
Take me with you, I know
the way there and back
If the right man's at the wheel
He'll lead you to adventure
Hello, you sweet lady,
don't drive alone, take me along
I know the way to paradise
Why, my dear one
Do you need all the room
for yourself?
Take me with you, I'll find
the way there and back
Hello, you super woman,
don't drive alone, take me with you
I know the way to paradise
We forgot that!
If in spring you don't drive
in company
We'll be lonely in the nicest car
Hello, you sweet lady,
don't drive alone
Take me with you,
I know the way to paradise
Yes, Dr. Lutter?
I'd like to speak to Consul
Cossmann.
The Consul's busy.
- Hello, miss!
- Yes?
- The Consul mustn't be disturbed.
- Then that's it.
I can't put you through to the Consul,
he's got an urgent discussion.
I told you that
the Consul's engaged.
You know exactly that the wedding
doesn't depend on me.
You'd have been
my wife for ages...
...if my daughter weren't
so strict with me.
- Have you spoken to her at all?
- What an idea?!
- Then I'll speak to her.
- But Edith...
Good day, Mops.
I've asked you a thousand times
not to call me Mops.
But Mop suits you.
I'm pleased to meet you at last.
Your father told me so much
about you.
He told me less about you.
You've come just right.
I was telling your father...
...that I'd like to speak to you
in private.
That's not at all necessary.
You can go into the conference room
in the meantime.
- Go, march, march.
- But Lilian, but Edith...
Here, so you don't get
bored, Mopsi.
- Well.
- Thanks, I'll be brief.
Miss Lilian, I'd like to ask you
for your father's hand.
Madam, you do us an honour
but I regret to have to inform you...
...that my father's temperament
requires a firm hand...
...which you unfortunately don't have.
I must, therefore, keep him
under my control for now.
I knew it.
I knew it!
You can come back in again.
But you can't...
Give me 200 marks instead
and don't talk so much.
Why 200 marks again?
I must go to the cinema
and buy myself cigarettes.
- Well in that case... here.
- Thanks. Good-bye, Mops.
- A splendid girl.
- Isn't she?
If only she wouldn't call me Mops.
Maestro.
What's the matter? Why are
you shining your lights on me?
Sorry, I thought
you were someone else.
What can I do for you?
There must be something
wrong with my car.
I filled up this afternoon,
now the petrol's all gone.
We'll soon have that.
One moment.
No wonder, you're driving
without a petrol cap.
So much for women drivers.
I bet I can drive
better than you.
Possible. But now I'll get
you a new petrol cap.
Take your time,
I'm not in a hurry.
- That's too big.
- You see everything.
- This one's too small.
- Then wrap something around it.
- No, that would be a pity.
- You can bring it back sometime.
Yes, gladly.
What are your working hours?
If I'm not here give it to one
of my colleagues.
Are your colleagues
all as nice as you?
This doll is to remind you to
keep your car in good shape.
- What's that for?
- For your trouble.
I didn't mean to insult you.
If you want to make amends tell me
your phone number and name.
You're quite mad.
Oh, please, please.
Lilian Cossmann,
Breitenbach 1387.
I know the way to paradise
What have you got there?
Oh, nothing.
What are you mumbling about?
Oh, nothing.
Good evening, little one.
What have you got there?
Mops, I've met three
charming young men...
...three friends and none of them
knows that I know the others.
You're a good one. You're so
strict with me whereas you have...
I've been thinking all evening
which of the three is the nicest.
Where are these people?
I don't know.
I've been waiting an hour.
- I can't wait that long.
- Stay, they must be here soon.
- Why?
- Can't you read?
BACK IN A MOMENT
- Give me the parcel.
- No, it belongs to me.
I want to see what you're doing
with our hard-earned money.
Pure silk, silk. Wraps himself
in silk like an old geisha...
...so that he can please his
secret love.
Cheek. I don't ask who you
bath in lavender for.
You've got a smell that even
a dog couldn't stand.
I smell quite all right.
I smell very nice.
And who am I bathing for
if you know it already?
For this impossible person.
What did you say? Lmpossible...
Which impossible person?
What sort of a girl would
have anything to do with you?
Better than the female that hangs
a sardine tin round your neck.
Where is it?
Show me.
What did you say,
you ridiculous dwarf?
Female?
Help!
Leave my friend alone.
If you touch me, I'll spit at you.
Willy, help!
- What's the matter?
- Nothing to do with you.
What are you doing here? You
should be at the petrol station.
- Me? You! Or Hans
- Me?
Are you mad? I'm not going to
get consumption and you laze about.
- A filthy mess.
- Don't be ridiculous.
I'm not as ridiculous as you.
Mysterious stranger.
Have you introduced
your girl to me?
My girl's a lady who musn't
be compromised.
You're hiding her because
you're afraid we'll take her away.
Just wait!
That's fine, just hit each other,
I'll be the referee.
Give him a hand, I've got to
go to the petrol station.
That's a mess.
A mess! Now we'll break
the door down!
Damned awful weather!
Lilian! You here?
The storm took me by surprise.
What a sight you are!
The storm also took me by surprise.
And besides,
I had a bit of a fight.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
What else can I do when a
lady dear to me is insulted?
A lady dear to you?
That's exaggerating.
A friend, a casual friend.
Tell me, Willy, if someone
insulted me would you fight for me?
- Of course
- That's nice.
I mean to say I'd do it for
any other lady.
You think you're irresistable,
don't you?
No, not irresistable,
but clever enough...
...to realise that you're rude
to me because...
...you're afraid of being as kind
to me as you'd like to be.
How do you know that I want
to be kind to you?
I hear it. There.
Darling, my heart greets you
Only with you alone
Can it be happy
All my sweet dreams
Are wrapped in my greeting
Don't let the days fly past
Spring is nearly over
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you how much I love you
Still only sympathy entwines us
We are still formal
We've never kissed
But in my dreams
I use your first name
And whisper softly to you...
Darling, my heart greets you
Only with you alone
Can it be happy
All my sweet dreams
Are wrapped in the greeting
Don't let the days fly past
Spring is nearly over
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you how much I love you
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you...
how much
I love you
An eye
A black eye
Is the worst thing in the world
A cloth, a damp cloth
Is always good if you
hold it against it
My child, do not be upset
If there's no wedding
A friend, a good friend
Is the greatest treasure
that there is
Stop! I know the chorus,
dear friend.
It comes after every verse
you utter.
Edith, I'd like to...
Lilian's come.
Your strict guardian.
Allow me?
- Thank you, madam.
- For the first time you're nice to me.
You've picked a lucky day.
A lucky day? I bet there's
a man behind this.
If only it were so simple!
There are two men involved.
- Two men?
- To tell the truth three.
With all respect! You must
tell me about it. Come.
Of course only one can
seriously be considered.
You must make your choice.
You think so?
You can deceive one man.
You even have to.
But three men together are
as clever as one woman.
Then I must tell the truth.
- But diplomatically.
- Diplomatically.
Then the best thing is to
write each one a letter.
It's not as simple as that.
Why?
I'll just write:
My dear Willy, I...
Yes, what shall I write...
...so that he doesn't misunderstand?
I...
I never thought
it'd be so difficult...
...to write letters diplomatically
telling the truth.
I told you so.
Objectively a letter
Can be very awkward
Many a person looks at it
and reads behind the lines
Be careful how you do it
So that it's understood
What you mean
By each line
First a large question mark
Which means:
When will you give in?
Then comes...
A dash
Which means:
Darling, I love you
Then from time to time
whilst kissing
You'll have to put in a comma
And finally a full-stop
Which means: Leave me alone
No, I can't do it like that.
I'd better tell all three.
That won't be easy,
I don't want to hurt any of them.
Then we'll anesthetize
patient beforehand.
- How?
- With champagne.
Tell all three to come to the
Gigepfel at 10 tomorrow evening.
There they'll all see that
they're in love with the same girl.
You're clever and charming,
pity I didn't know that before.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
Where are you going?
I've got a date.
You too? That's... very good.
What's going on?
Is this a fashion show?
We've got a date.
And the petrol station?
One of you is on duty.
Would you like to take over
for me?
- I've got a date.
- Leave me alone.
Would you like take over my duty?
I've got a date.
Why should I?
Besides, with your permission...
...I also have something special
on this evening.
Well, one of you has to go
to the petrol station.
Why me?
Why always me? It's a cheek
if no one does one a favour.
What cheek!
I know. We'll draw lots for
who's on duty.
Yes, but without me.
I wouldn't dream of it.
What then?
Yes, why not draw lots?
Willy, don't be a spoilsport.
What for? Why?
- Go on.
- Well, I don't mind.
Here are three bits a paper.
There's a nought on one.
Whoever draws the nought's
on duty.
- Willy, you start.
- Good, I'll start.
My God, the nought.
The nought. Bad luck.
- Poor chap.
- Shall we go?
Oh, go to the devil.
We pulled a fast one on him.
We did a good job.
Well, where exactly is
your rendezvous?
- Oh, I've completely forgotten.
- Well, well.
And you,
where's your rendezvous?
I've completely forgotten.
Quick, quick!
It's urgent.
Suspicious scoundrel!
These rascals!
Nice, isn't it?
I'm a bit afraid.
- A drink'll give you courage.
- Yes, you're right.
Tell me, what have you been
whispering about all evening?
- Nothing for small children.
- And nothing for large Mops.
Give me a drink.
Yes, right away.
There they are.
Now.
- Gin, please.
- A cherry cola, please.
- That's fantastic.
- Yes, that worked. Cognac.
Cocktail.
Now, my friend, you'll see
how pretty my girl is.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Yours won't even exist
when you see mine.
We'll see.
- Shall we bet that mine's prettier?
- You're crazy.
Good evening, gentlemen.
May I introduce...
I've won my bet.
She's my rendezvous.
Yours? She's mine.
Lilian, please tell this incorrigible
bragger with whom you've got a date.
Yes, please,
tell this notorious boaster...
Yes, gentlemen, I'll explain
everything to you, but...
...for the moment I've got a date
with each of you.
With both of us?
- With both of us?
- Not so loud!
I must say...
- Look, Hans...
- No, I'm not interested.
- Please, Kurt, I can...
- I'd rather do without.
I never thought much of you,
you fool, but to be so mean!
If I'd known with whom
I was hand in glove...
...living under one
and the same roof...
Don't be so angry,
it's all my fault.
- You lied to us.
- And betrayed us.
- Played with us.
- Leered from one to the other.
- Laughed at us.
- Made us look ridiculous.
She's also got a rendezvous
with Willy.
I'd credit the lady with anything.
In your place I'd be ashamed.
In you place I'd behave
myself decently.
Him as well?!
May I take you to your table?
You dressed yourself
in silk for that!
And you bathed in lavender.
A cognac, a large one.
Soda, a lot.
That was nice of you.
Lilian, child, where have
you been so long?
Papa, I'd like to introduce
Mr. Willy Helbing, my Papa.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- My pleasure.
I've got several things to say.
Mops, before he speaks to you,
you have to know...
...that he's the nicest young man
that I know.
Well, young friend?
Don't be offended, Consul...
...your family affairs are no
concern of mine...
...but I'd advise you to bring up
your daughter better.
You needn't give up hope that she'll
become a useful person one day.
At the moment she's a heartless,
superficial, coquettish, spoilt brat.
Good evening, Consul.
Bravo!
He's put you in your place.
By Jove!
That'd be a son-in-law for me.
Come.
Willy's coming. Look, it's Willy.
Here he comes. Look, Willy!
Well, where's your heart's desire?
Yes, where's your darling?
You should be ashamed.
You fools.
Are you putting up with his?
Filthy dog.
A friend
A good friend
Is the greatest treasure
that there is
Oh, he's a nice fellow.
You got me into this.
You with your diplomacy.
But Lilian...
It's all your fault.
Yes, now I know. Yes.
When you have only one daughter,
you take care of her...
...and don't let her flirt with
three men at the same time.
- Three? Why three men?
- Oh, that's my affair.
I don't understand.
- What kind of advice did you give her?
- That's my affair.
- Will you pay so that we can go?
- Pay, that's my affair...
But children...
Darling, my heart greets you
It can only be happy
with you alone
All my sweet dreams
Are wrapped in the greeting
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you
how much I love you.
SHUT FOR SALE
Well...
Please...
Good day, miss, it's good
of you to come to me...
...I didn't have time,
after the recess there's a lot to do.
Consul, please be seated.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I herewith open today's meeting.
- You can leave.
- Me? Why me?
- Because it's a private matter.
- I'm your private secretary.
You were if you don't go at once
and close the door.
Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I open today's meeting.
For the second time?
Which has been called to
discuss the arrangements...
...which shall lead to a marriage...
...between Miss Lilian Cossmann
and the one hand - charming -
...and Willy Helbing on the other.
- I beg to speak.
- Please.
FOR RENT
You're decent and fall in love
with one woman...
...and such a little beast falls in love
with three men.
You live unaware with two people
you took for your friends...
...who turn out to be rascals
with whom it's impossible to live.
- Then we all agree.
- That's it.
- Each of us goes his own way.
- Exactly my opinion.
Come in.
Good day. Do the three men
from the garage live here?
I've brought a lady here
who'd like to speak to the gentlemen.
A lady?
- I'm not in.
- Nothing doing.
- I very much regret...
- That would make me very sorry.
Good day, gentlemen.
Jacket, jacket, where's my...
It's my pleasure to meet
Willy Helbing...
No, dear stranger.
Edith von Turoff.
I'm pleased to meet you.
- Can you spare me 5 minutes?
- In what matter?
I'd like to speak to you in private.
- Pity.
- Yes, I'd like to have listened.
Will you please be seated?
I've often admired your
efficiency at the garage.
There's a plan to found
a garage company...
...for which they are looking
for a competent director.
I'm sorry, you must look
for another director.
Why?
I intend to leave Berlin for good.
IT'S MORE BLESSED TO GIVE
THAN TO RECEIVE
If I accept your offer,
then only on one condition.
That you engage
my two colleagues with me.
Your condition's accepted.
Gentlemen, you'll hear from
me again today.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye, madam.
Many thanks, madam.
- It was delightful.
- Yes, it was very nice.
You two fools,
I thought we were angry.
- We'd almost forgotten that.
- Yes, really.
If we're going to get on
together promise me one thing.
The name of the girl who almost tore
us apart will never be mentioned.
- Good, agreed.
- Word of honour.
Word of honour.
Shut up, we're working here...
...this is the directors' office
of Kutag, Kuckuck Tank AG.
Never be gloomy
THE LOVELY LILIANA COSSMANN
WITH HER CLASSY SPORTS CAR!
If your sweetheart
no longer loves you
- A friend, a good friend...
- Shut up!
Kutag general management here.
Kutag general management here.
Yes... No, no...
...here's the general manager's secretary.
You want to speak to the
general manager personally?
Well, no.
Let's see... well, I'll see...
...if the general manager can speak
to you. One moment, please.
I very much regret that
the general manager is not available.
The entire management is...
Be quiet! Let me do it!
I wanted to say the manager
is at a conference.
But I've got full authority, with whom
do I have the pleasure of speaking?
Pardon?
The telephone exchange?
What do you want, miss? You only
wanted to hear if the phone works?
You can see that, hear it.
Am I a crackling?
Damn it, take the thing away,
it's absurd, say, it's ridiculous.
That's...
Don't get upset,
it's just the fire department.
Come in.
A young lady's here.
What kind of young lady?
Oh, our money lender's prot?g?e.
- Oh, from Frau von Turoff.
- Who?
The secretary she recommended
to us. Let her wait.
- Have you gone mad?
- She'll tell Turoff everything.
Go on, you work, you write,
I'll telephone.
Please, is that the Bank for
petrol trade and garage supplies?
Here's the Kutag general manager.
Kutag, yes. Kuckuck Tank AG.
Good day, gentlemen.
I'm your new secretary.
- Out of the question.
- Pardon?
The job's already taken.
But Willy...
...she's our money lenders prot?g?e.
Don't you see that
this is all a conspiracy.
- I'll not be a part of it.
- Willy, go on. Go on...
Do you believe that the vamp
seriously intends to work here?
Mistake. The vamp
seriously intends to work.
- That's what she came here for.
- Can you type at all?
Naturally.
Please, I'm here, sit there.
- Please be seated.
- Are you comfortable?
- Don't be afraid.
- It'll be all right.
Please, convince yourself.
I'm curious about that.
First comes a large
question mark
Which means
how can I soften you up?
Then a dash
Which means:
My sweetheart, I love you
Then from time to time
whilst kissing
You have to put in
a small comma
And finally a full stop
Which means: Leave me alone
So, and now to you, miss.
Yes, sir.
Better than I thought.
It's of no use.
Write another letter.
Yes, sir.
- Are you ready?
- Go ahead.
To the board of directors
of Kutag.
Since the company was founded
under other conditions...
Other conditions?
Write, took place under
circumstances...
...other than they appeared to be...
...and I want to build up my
existence under my own steam...
...and not thanks to the protection
of some kind of female...
- Have you got it?
- Female, naturally.
...female...
I give notice as of today.
And resign from the board of Kutag.
Have you got that?
...and resign as of today
from the board of Kutag.
And perhaps you'll add:
Yours faithfully?
Yes, as you like.
And respectfully?
I find that very polite.
So, and now, sir,
just your signature, please.
Put it down.
Is there anything else?
No, Thanks.
What were you doing in there?
Willy, be sensible!
Don't give up our garage company.
Characterless fools.
Listen...
You're past helping.
He's mad.
Cheers to the young couple
We offer our congratulations
Cheers to the young couple
Come to my heart,
dear son-in-law
Be mine and be kissed
Because today's your wedding day
The bride
The beautiful bride
You stole from us
Have you all gone mad?
On the contrary, we're delighted!
About the super marriage contract.
Marriage contract?
Who's marrying who?
Marriage contract,
how am I to understand that?
Here, read it,
then you'll be informed
You dictated it yourself
Dictated it yourself,
dictated yourself, for the marriage
Dictated yourself,
yes, dictated yourself
I declare herewith that
Miss Lilian Cossmann
Is the sweetest girl
in the world
And I consider myself lucky
To marry her here on the spot
The sooner the better
I never dictated that, I didn't
It's not true
Here's your signature,
plain and clear
That's true, that's true
Good bait catches fine fish,
but not me
Stop. Listen to what it says
in the legal code
If someone promises marriage
And breaks his promise deliberately
Then it's been the rule for years
To imprison the culprit on demand
The penalty for the crime
Will be at least twenty-one weeks
Oh, so that's what you mean!
A clever bit of blackmail!
My girl, between us
everything's settled, isn't it?
- First we'll go to the altar...
- And then?
And then we'll get a divorce
What does it matter?
You're only interested
In being a married woman...
I've had enough of this,
thanks, I can do without.
- Bravo!
- It calls from the wilds
Take another husband
Look at me closely
I've had enough
I've had enough,
I'm not a dog
You tormented me for 20 years,
I said yes to everything
Whatever happened was my fault,
now I've lost my patience
- I say no and no again
- Don't shout!
- I want to shout!
- Consul, this is too much!
I speak now! Be quiet!
Listen and take note,
I'm going to make Edith my wife
When, where and how I like,
and if you complain
I'll spank your bottom
no matter what happens
Stop!
I'll never allow you
to so brutally attack...
...such a defenceless, weak...
...charming, sweet creature.
Well, thank God.
Only with you can I be happy
All our sweet dreams
Will come true today
And us?
What's going to happen to us?
No one here to love us
A friend, a good friend
Is the best thing that there is
That's enough now!
- But, Willy!
- What is it now?
- The people!
- What people?
- The audience.
- Where?
There!
Yes, really...
And all strangers, too.
What are they doing here?
The film is over.
Shall we ask them?
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Wait, Willy!
I know why!
A real operetta needs a finale.
Oh, I see.
Lilian, come with me.
Just a moment, please.
THE END
Ressynch: Kilo
hopeful heart, the motor running
Laughing goal, laughing start
and a beautiful drive
Passed Rome and Madrid,
a trio reeling through life
Over the sea, over the land
we came to realise
That a friend, a good friend
Is the best thing in the world.
A friend's always faithful
Even if the whole world
collapses
So don't get upset
If your sweetheart
no longer loves you
A friend, a good friend
Is the best thing that there is
Here we are at home again.
Do you see that? No one here
to open up for us.
- No wonder, we've come unannounced.
- And were gone 3 months.
You can't expect the servants
to be ready.
- Pet, where is he?
- There he is.
Where's the dreadful bird?
- What's to eat?
- Betty, where are you?
No one here.
What's that?
Look over here.
What is it?
- It looks like a cuckoo.
- What's that?
- A bailiff's seal?
- A bailiff's seal?
How did that get here?
We're in a nice mess.
Come here.
You are reminded of the auction
of all your distrained furniture.
- It will be fetched on June 18.
- At eleven in the morning.
June 18, that's today.
And it's eleven o'clock now.
Someone's made a silly joke.
I don't think this joke
is much to laugh about.
- Who are you calling?
- Our lawyer.
Dr. Kalmus' office here.
Helbing.
Can I speak to Dr. Kalmus?
Dr. Kalmus. Who's there?
Here's Helbing.
The three mad musketeers
are back.
Hello! Hello!
Miss Mondschein,
what do we do now?
Break it gently.
Break it gently...
- Pardon, who's there?
- Helbing.
Tell me what's going on?
What a good lawyer...
...if our home's distrained
whilst we're away?
You should've prevented it.
With a few words I can...
You had our instructions...
But for God's sake...
Stop a minute, please.
- Don't shout at me.
- No more of your cheek!
- You can't beat that!
- I won't put up with this.
It's a misunderstanding.
I don't mean you.
Hang it, be quiet now!
- Did he hurt you?
- Shouting at me!
Something very unpleasant
has happened in the meantime.
Something unpleasant? What?
Give it to me. Something very
unpleasant? What? An earthquake?
Change of government in
Lippe-Detmold?
Or perhaps your wife's
had a blond baby?
Be sensible.
What... even worse.
Gentlemen, may I have
your kind attention.
- To break it gently, you're bankrupt.
- Bankrupt?
Yes, bankrupt. B for beggar,
A for ancient debts...
...N for never paid,
K for kept...
...R for really penniless,
U for utterly poor...
...P for poverty,
and T for... touch wood.
There's a lot of money
in our bank account.
- That's what you think.
- We only have to ring up.
You won't get through.
There are cells were
your banker is...
...but not phone-boxes.
- Cells?
- Cells?
Yes, C like credit difficulties,
E like a mess...
...two I's like imprisoned for life.
Imprisoned?
Your money's gone.
We don't own a penny?
Are completely broke?
Broke isn't the word. Stone broke.
If I may spell it for you...
B for...
And the same to you.
It seems to be out of order.
Cuckoo
It calls from the wilds
Dear good Bailiff
Go away
You won't find anything here
The call comes from the wilds
lt'll soon be time for us
to stop wearing dinner jackets
Oh, how shall we feel.
We must forget about
playing polo, eating oysters
Oh, how it hurts.
We had goods and money,
and thousand things
Now the beautiful life's over
Instead of whiskey only lemonade
Instead of caviar, marmelade
Good God, we're bankrupt
Cuckoo
Cuckoo
It calls from the woods
Dear good Bailiff
Go away
You'll find nothing here
Cuckoo
Cuckoo
It calls back from the woods
Here we are
Take a firm hold
Use your muscles
Then we'll manage
Look, my seal's stuck here
on each piece
You can see it at a glance
The vulture's bondsman.
Dear Augustin
Everything, everything's gone.
Good-bye, dear couch
Who knows, when I'll see you again
Good-bye dear silver cabinet,
I'll remember you all my life
They're taking the carpet as well
Who knows who'll walk on it
They only leave the walls standing
And we, we have to go
on the dol
Sweet doing nothing, doing as we
please, we'll have to change
Fortune's angry with us
Money alone doesn't make you happy
But as soon as you've got no
money you become nervous
We only saw work from afar
And even from afar
it didn't look nice
Back!
What does that mean?
Oh God, he wants to bite me
Get out!
We're going
Dear good Bailiff
Go away,
you won't find anything here
Now it's up to us
The car's the only thing
he didn't take.
What do we know?
Work.
What have we learned to do?
Tennis.
Dancing.
Driving.
Something must happen.
- What's wrong?
- Not a drop of petrol.
Then we must fill up.
- But where?
- Where?
- We'll see.
There isn't a petrol station
far and wide.
Unbelievable on such a busy road
where hundreds of cars drive past daily.
Our future's ensured.
We'll get rid of our car...
...and set up a petrol station here
with the money.
And we'll call the petrol
station "Cuckoo".
Sunny world, blissful world,
joined us together for ever
Love dies, love blows away,
friendship alone remains
Yes, you forget your kisses
because fidelity's old-fashioned
Yes, we betrayed many a woman,
but we stick together
A friend, a good friend
Is the best thing
in the world
A friend remains a friend
Even when the whole world
collapses
So don't be upset
If your sweetheart
no longer loves you.
A friend, a good friend
Is the greatest treasure
there is
Well and now to work.
How have we done?
Isn't it beautiful?
Slim as a bayadere.
You can fatten yourself up
as well.
Children...
...our first customer.
Pay attention, now, now, now.
Here come our first earnings.
- Good day, sir.
- What can I do for you?
- What would you like?
- What can I do for you?
Air.
Yes, the air's good here,
we've got fantastic air.
In the tyres!
He's an idiot.
Anything else?
- Water.
- Pardon?
Water.
- My God, he's thirsty.
- Water for the radiator.
An idiot. Can't we give
you some petrol?
Yes, a little.
But I'd like to say
you'll break my neck.
He even laughs, the stupid boy.
- Is the tank here or there?
- There.
- Then put some in.
- Of course.
Enough.
Was the gentleman satisfied
with my water?
- OK.
- Have a good journey.
The air was for me.
Another one.
Is there another one?
Ten pfennigs?
Ten pfennigs.
Our own earnings.
Hello Willy, get up!
It's seven o'clock.
You must get up.
Me? Why me?
You must go to the petrol station.
Hans will be back any moment.
You must get up.
Today you're on duty.
Yesterday I cooked and tidied up
and Hans the day before.
This three shift system
makes me sick.
- You can never lie in.
- I can.
Even when you're so tired
after eight hours...
...working at the petrol station.
Quick, hurry, breakfast.
Hurry, quick, get up.
Hans needs his bed.
- Quiet, I want to eat.
- Enjoy your meal.
- Help! Murderer! Robber! Police!
- Shut up!
Be quiet!
- You.
- Please rock me a bit more.
How about that!
I was sleeping so well.
I hope you're not too angry
with me for disturbing you.
It's great.
What can I do for you?
Guess.
I guess.
I've got it! Petrol or oil.
You're brilliant.
What do you say now?
Great.
I'd like 2 litres of oil
if you can spare some.
I can.
2 litres of oil for you anytime.
One moment.
Straight away.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- What's that?
- For our regulars.
- Nice. Thanks.
- Don't mention it.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye. Great.
Great... Yes, that's
enough for today.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
Brilliant... great.
Damned beast!
Now the beast's running.
Here's the tea.
- Milk.
- Sorry, I forgot.
Miserable service.
Here's the milk.
Marmelade.
Here's your marmelade.
My toast!
Old pig.
Who's in there?
Doesn't it taste good?
When I think of how we ate
breakfast three months ago.
You've no reason to complain.
The petrol station's doing well.
- The coffee's bad.
- We've got a nice house.
- The milk's burnt.
- And even bought a car.
Don't exaggerate.
Look what a row it makes.
It's a slow-combustion stove.
Move - petrol station.
What?
- A sip.
- Out of the question.
- Give it to me. Give it.
- Go to work.
- What am I? Your dog?
- No, you're lazy.
- Does it taste good?
- Wonderful.
I made it.
- What can I do for you?
- 30 litres of petrol.
And five litres of oil.
Straight away.
- What can I do for you?
- Water for the radiator.
- What can I do for you?
- 20 litres of petrol.
50 litres of petrol.
A can of oil.
To drive a car, drive a car
Is the greatest weakness
of every little woman
And all young girls dream
Today of a driving licence
Super cars, classy cars,
with a sweet girl in it
And a sky of blue
Who wouldn't want to be
her partner
And many a man calls out:
Hello, you sweet lady
Don't drive alone,
you could steer wrongly
And pass by happiness
Why, my sweetheart?
I need all the room for myself
Take me with you, I know
the way there and back
If the right man's at the wheel
He'll lead you to adventure
Hello, you sweet lady,
don't drive alone, take me along
I know the way to paradise
Why, my dear one
Do you need all the room
for yourself?
Take me with you, I'll find
the way there and back
Hello, you super woman,
don't drive alone, take me with you
I know the way to paradise
We forgot that!
If in spring you don't drive
in company
We'll be lonely in the nicest car
Hello, you sweet lady,
don't drive alone
Take me with you,
I know the way to paradise
Yes, Dr. Lutter?
I'd like to speak to Consul
Cossmann.
The Consul's busy.
- Hello, miss!
- Yes?
- The Consul mustn't be disturbed.
- Then that's it.
I can't put you through to the Consul,
he's got an urgent discussion.
I told you that
the Consul's engaged.
You know exactly that the wedding
doesn't depend on me.
You'd have been
my wife for ages...
...if my daughter weren't
so strict with me.
- Have you spoken to her at all?
- What an idea?!
- Then I'll speak to her.
- But Edith...
Good day, Mops.
I've asked you a thousand times
not to call me Mops.
But Mop suits you.
I'm pleased to meet you at last.
Your father told me so much
about you.
He told me less about you.
You've come just right.
I was telling your father...
...that I'd like to speak to you
in private.
That's not at all necessary.
You can go into the conference room
in the meantime.
- Go, march, march.
- But Lilian, but Edith...
Here, so you don't get
bored, Mopsi.
- Well.
- Thanks, I'll be brief.
Miss Lilian, I'd like to ask you
for your father's hand.
Madam, you do us an honour
but I regret to have to inform you...
...that my father's temperament
requires a firm hand...
...which you unfortunately don't have.
I must, therefore, keep him
under my control for now.
I knew it.
I knew it!
You can come back in again.
But you can't...
Give me 200 marks instead
and don't talk so much.
Why 200 marks again?
I must go to the cinema
and buy myself cigarettes.
- Well in that case... here.
- Thanks. Good-bye, Mops.
- A splendid girl.
- Isn't she?
If only she wouldn't call me Mops.
Maestro.
What's the matter? Why are
you shining your lights on me?
Sorry, I thought
you were someone else.
What can I do for you?
There must be something
wrong with my car.
I filled up this afternoon,
now the petrol's all gone.
We'll soon have that.
One moment.
No wonder, you're driving
without a petrol cap.
So much for women drivers.
I bet I can drive
better than you.
Possible. But now I'll get
you a new petrol cap.
Take your time,
I'm not in a hurry.
- That's too big.
- You see everything.
- This one's too small.
- Then wrap something around it.
- No, that would be a pity.
- You can bring it back sometime.
Yes, gladly.
What are your working hours?
If I'm not here give it to one
of my colleagues.
Are your colleagues
all as nice as you?
This doll is to remind you to
keep your car in good shape.
- What's that for?
- For your trouble.
I didn't mean to insult you.
If you want to make amends tell me
your phone number and name.
You're quite mad.
Oh, please, please.
Lilian Cossmann,
Breitenbach 1387.
I know the way to paradise
What have you got there?
Oh, nothing.
What are you mumbling about?
Oh, nothing.
Good evening, little one.
What have you got there?
Mops, I've met three
charming young men...
...three friends and none of them
knows that I know the others.
You're a good one. You're so
strict with me whereas you have...
I've been thinking all evening
which of the three is the nicest.
Where are these people?
I don't know.
I've been waiting an hour.
- I can't wait that long.
- Stay, they must be here soon.
- Why?
- Can't you read?
BACK IN A MOMENT
- Give me the parcel.
- No, it belongs to me.
I want to see what you're doing
with our hard-earned money.
Pure silk, silk. Wraps himself
in silk like an old geisha...
...so that he can please his
secret love.
Cheek. I don't ask who you
bath in lavender for.
You've got a smell that even
a dog couldn't stand.
I smell quite all right.
I smell very nice.
And who am I bathing for
if you know it already?
For this impossible person.
What did you say? Lmpossible...
Which impossible person?
What sort of a girl would
have anything to do with you?
Better than the female that hangs
a sardine tin round your neck.
Where is it?
Show me.
What did you say,
you ridiculous dwarf?
Female?
Help!
Leave my friend alone.
If you touch me, I'll spit at you.
Willy, help!
- What's the matter?
- Nothing to do with you.
What are you doing here? You
should be at the petrol station.
- Me? You! Or Hans
- Me?
Are you mad? I'm not going to
get consumption and you laze about.
- A filthy mess.
- Don't be ridiculous.
I'm not as ridiculous as you.
Mysterious stranger.
Have you introduced
your girl to me?
My girl's a lady who musn't
be compromised.
You're hiding her because
you're afraid we'll take her away.
Just wait!
That's fine, just hit each other,
I'll be the referee.
Give him a hand, I've got to
go to the petrol station.
That's a mess.
A mess! Now we'll break
the door down!
Damned awful weather!
Lilian! You here?
The storm took me by surprise.
What a sight you are!
The storm also took me by surprise.
And besides,
I had a bit of a fight.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
What else can I do when a
lady dear to me is insulted?
A lady dear to you?
That's exaggerating.
A friend, a casual friend.
Tell me, Willy, if someone
insulted me would you fight for me?
- Of course
- That's nice.
I mean to say I'd do it for
any other lady.
You think you're irresistable,
don't you?
No, not irresistable,
but clever enough...
...to realise that you're rude
to me because...
...you're afraid of being as kind
to me as you'd like to be.
How do you know that I want
to be kind to you?
I hear it. There.
Darling, my heart greets you
Only with you alone
Can it be happy
All my sweet dreams
Are wrapped in my greeting
Don't let the days fly past
Spring is nearly over
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you how much I love you
Still only sympathy entwines us
We are still formal
We've never kissed
But in my dreams
I use your first name
And whisper softly to you...
Darling, my heart greets you
Only with you alone
Can it be happy
All my sweet dreams
Are wrapped in the greeting
Don't let the days fly past
Spring is nearly over
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you how much I love you
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you...
how much
I love you
An eye
A black eye
Is the worst thing in the world
A cloth, a damp cloth
Is always good if you
hold it against it
My child, do not be upset
If there's no wedding
A friend, a good friend
Is the greatest treasure
that there is
Stop! I know the chorus,
dear friend.
It comes after every verse
you utter.
Edith, I'd like to...
Lilian's come.
Your strict guardian.
Allow me?
- Thank you, madam.
- For the first time you're nice to me.
You've picked a lucky day.
A lucky day? I bet there's
a man behind this.
If only it were so simple!
There are two men involved.
- Two men?
- To tell the truth three.
With all respect! You must
tell me about it. Come.
Of course only one can
seriously be considered.
You must make your choice.
You think so?
You can deceive one man.
You even have to.
But three men together are
as clever as one woman.
Then I must tell the truth.
- But diplomatically.
- Diplomatically.
Then the best thing is to
write each one a letter.
It's not as simple as that.
Why?
I'll just write:
My dear Willy, I...
Yes, what shall I write...
...so that he doesn't misunderstand?
I...
I never thought
it'd be so difficult...
...to write letters diplomatically
telling the truth.
I told you so.
Objectively a letter
Can be very awkward
Many a person looks at it
and reads behind the lines
Be careful how you do it
So that it's understood
What you mean
By each line
First a large question mark
Which means:
When will you give in?
Then comes...
A dash
Which means:
Darling, I love you
Then from time to time
whilst kissing
You'll have to put in a comma
And finally a full-stop
Which means: Leave me alone
No, I can't do it like that.
I'd better tell all three.
That won't be easy,
I don't want to hurt any of them.
Then we'll anesthetize
patient beforehand.
- How?
- With champagne.
Tell all three to come to the
Gigepfel at 10 tomorrow evening.
There they'll all see that
they're in love with the same girl.
You're clever and charming,
pity I didn't know that before.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK
Where are you going?
I've got a date.
You too? That's... very good.
What's going on?
Is this a fashion show?
We've got a date.
And the petrol station?
One of you is on duty.
Would you like to take over
for me?
- I've got a date.
- Leave me alone.
Would you like take over my duty?
I've got a date.
Why should I?
Besides, with your permission...
...I also have something special
on this evening.
Well, one of you has to go
to the petrol station.
Why me?
Why always me? It's a cheek
if no one does one a favour.
What cheek!
I know. We'll draw lots for
who's on duty.
Yes, but without me.
I wouldn't dream of it.
What then?
Yes, why not draw lots?
Willy, don't be a spoilsport.
What for? Why?
- Go on.
- Well, I don't mind.
Here are three bits a paper.
There's a nought on one.
Whoever draws the nought's
on duty.
- Willy, you start.
- Good, I'll start.
My God, the nought.
The nought. Bad luck.
- Poor chap.
- Shall we go?
Oh, go to the devil.
We pulled a fast one on him.
We did a good job.
Well, where exactly is
your rendezvous?
- Oh, I've completely forgotten.
- Well, well.
And you,
where's your rendezvous?
I've completely forgotten.
Quick, quick!
It's urgent.
Suspicious scoundrel!
These rascals!
Nice, isn't it?
I'm a bit afraid.
- A drink'll give you courage.
- Yes, you're right.
Tell me, what have you been
whispering about all evening?
- Nothing for small children.
- And nothing for large Mops.
Give me a drink.
Yes, right away.
There they are.
Now.
- Gin, please.
- A cherry cola, please.
- That's fantastic.
- Yes, that worked. Cognac.
Cocktail.
Now, my friend, you'll see
how pretty my girl is.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Yours won't even exist
when you see mine.
We'll see.
- Shall we bet that mine's prettier?
- You're crazy.
Good evening, gentlemen.
May I introduce...
I've won my bet.
She's my rendezvous.
Yours? She's mine.
Lilian, please tell this incorrigible
bragger with whom you've got a date.
Yes, please,
tell this notorious boaster...
Yes, gentlemen, I'll explain
everything to you, but...
...for the moment I've got a date
with each of you.
With both of us?
- With both of us?
- Not so loud!
I must say...
- Look, Hans...
- No, I'm not interested.
- Please, Kurt, I can...
- I'd rather do without.
I never thought much of you,
you fool, but to be so mean!
If I'd known with whom
I was hand in glove...
...living under one
and the same roof...
Don't be so angry,
it's all my fault.
- You lied to us.
- And betrayed us.
- Played with us.
- Leered from one to the other.
- Laughed at us.
- Made us look ridiculous.
She's also got a rendezvous
with Willy.
I'd credit the lady with anything.
In your place I'd be ashamed.
In you place I'd behave
myself decently.
Him as well?!
May I take you to your table?
You dressed yourself
in silk for that!
And you bathed in lavender.
A cognac, a large one.
Soda, a lot.
That was nice of you.
Lilian, child, where have
you been so long?
Papa, I'd like to introduce
Mr. Willy Helbing, my Papa.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- My pleasure.
I've got several things to say.
Mops, before he speaks to you,
you have to know...
...that he's the nicest young man
that I know.
Well, young friend?
Don't be offended, Consul...
...your family affairs are no
concern of mine...
...but I'd advise you to bring up
your daughter better.
You needn't give up hope that she'll
become a useful person one day.
At the moment she's a heartless,
superficial, coquettish, spoilt brat.
Good evening, Consul.
Bravo!
He's put you in your place.
By Jove!
That'd be a son-in-law for me.
Come.
Willy's coming. Look, it's Willy.
Here he comes. Look, Willy!
Well, where's your heart's desire?
Yes, where's your darling?
You should be ashamed.
You fools.
Are you putting up with his?
Filthy dog.
A friend
A good friend
Is the greatest treasure
that there is
Oh, he's a nice fellow.
You got me into this.
You with your diplomacy.
But Lilian...
It's all your fault.
Yes, now I know. Yes.
When you have only one daughter,
you take care of her...
...and don't let her flirt with
three men at the same time.
- Three? Why three men?
- Oh, that's my affair.
I don't understand.
- What kind of advice did you give her?
- That's my affair.
- Will you pay so that we can go?
- Pay, that's my affair...
But children...
Darling, my heart greets you
It can only be happy
with you alone
All my sweet dreams
Are wrapped in the greeting
Darling, my heart greets you
And tells you
how much I love you.
SHUT FOR SALE
Well...
Please...
Good day, miss, it's good
of you to come to me...
...I didn't have time,
after the recess there's a lot to do.
Consul, please be seated.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I herewith open today's meeting.
- You can leave.
- Me? Why me?
- Because it's a private matter.
- I'm your private secretary.
You were if you don't go at once
and close the door.
Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen,
I open today's meeting.
For the second time?
Which has been called to
discuss the arrangements...
...which shall lead to a marriage...
...between Miss Lilian Cossmann
and the one hand - charming -
...and Willy Helbing on the other.
- I beg to speak.
- Please.
FOR RENT
You're decent and fall in love
with one woman...
...and such a little beast falls in love
with three men.
You live unaware with two people
you took for your friends...
...who turn out to be rascals
with whom it's impossible to live.
- Then we all agree.
- That's it.
- Each of us goes his own way.
- Exactly my opinion.
Come in.
Good day. Do the three men
from the garage live here?
I've brought a lady here
who'd like to speak to the gentlemen.
A lady?
- I'm not in.
- Nothing doing.
- I very much regret...
- That would make me very sorry.
Good day, gentlemen.
Jacket, jacket, where's my...
It's my pleasure to meet
Willy Helbing...
No, dear stranger.
Edith von Turoff.
I'm pleased to meet you.
- Can you spare me 5 minutes?
- In what matter?
I'd like to speak to you in private.
- Pity.
- Yes, I'd like to have listened.
Will you please be seated?
I've often admired your
efficiency at the garage.
There's a plan to found
a garage company...
...for which they are looking
for a competent director.
I'm sorry, you must look
for another director.
Why?
I intend to leave Berlin for good.
IT'S MORE BLESSED TO GIVE
THAN TO RECEIVE
If I accept your offer,
then only on one condition.
That you engage
my two colleagues with me.
Your condition's accepted.
Gentlemen, you'll hear from
me again today.
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye, madam.
Many thanks, madam.
- It was delightful.
- Yes, it was very nice.
You two fools,
I thought we were angry.
- We'd almost forgotten that.
- Yes, really.
If we're going to get on
together promise me one thing.
The name of the girl who almost tore
us apart will never be mentioned.
- Good, agreed.
- Word of honour.
Word of honour.
Shut up, we're working here...
...this is the directors' office
of Kutag, Kuckuck Tank AG.
Never be gloomy
THE LOVELY LILIANA COSSMANN
WITH HER CLASSY SPORTS CAR!
If your sweetheart
no longer loves you
- A friend, a good friend...
- Shut up!
Kutag general management here.
Kutag general management here.
Yes... No, no...
...here's the general manager's secretary.
You want to speak to the
general manager personally?
Well, no.
Let's see... well, I'll see...
...if the general manager can speak
to you. One moment, please.
I very much regret that
the general manager is not available.
The entire management is...
Be quiet! Let me do it!
I wanted to say the manager
is at a conference.
But I've got full authority, with whom
do I have the pleasure of speaking?
Pardon?
The telephone exchange?
What do you want, miss? You only
wanted to hear if the phone works?
You can see that, hear it.
Am I a crackling?
Damn it, take the thing away,
it's absurd, say, it's ridiculous.
That's...
Don't get upset,
it's just the fire department.
Come in.
A young lady's here.
What kind of young lady?
Oh, our money lender's prot?g?e.
- Oh, from Frau von Turoff.
- Who?
The secretary she recommended
to us. Let her wait.
- Have you gone mad?
- She'll tell Turoff everything.
Go on, you work, you write,
I'll telephone.
Please, is that the Bank for
petrol trade and garage supplies?
Here's the Kutag general manager.
Kutag, yes. Kuckuck Tank AG.
Good day, gentlemen.
I'm your new secretary.
- Out of the question.
- Pardon?
The job's already taken.
But Willy...
...she's our money lenders prot?g?e.
Don't you see that
this is all a conspiracy.
- I'll not be a part of it.
- Willy, go on. Go on...
Do you believe that the vamp
seriously intends to work here?
Mistake. The vamp
seriously intends to work.
- That's what she came here for.
- Can you type at all?
Naturally.
Please, I'm here, sit there.
- Please be seated.
- Are you comfortable?
- Don't be afraid.
- It'll be all right.
Please, convince yourself.
I'm curious about that.
First comes a large
question mark
Which means
how can I soften you up?
Then a dash
Which means:
My sweetheart, I love you
Then from time to time
whilst kissing
You have to put in
a small comma
And finally a full stop
Which means: Leave me alone
So, and now to you, miss.
Yes, sir.
Better than I thought.
It's of no use.
Write another letter.
Yes, sir.
- Are you ready?
- Go ahead.
To the board of directors
of Kutag.
Since the company was founded
under other conditions...
Other conditions?
Write, took place under
circumstances...
...other than they appeared to be...
...and I want to build up my
existence under my own steam...
...and not thanks to the protection
of some kind of female...
- Have you got it?
- Female, naturally.
...female...
I give notice as of today.
And resign from the board of Kutag.
Have you got that?
...and resign as of today
from the board of Kutag.
And perhaps you'll add:
Yours faithfully?
Yes, as you like.
And respectfully?
I find that very polite.
So, and now, sir,
just your signature, please.
Put it down.
Is there anything else?
No, Thanks.
What were you doing in there?
Willy, be sensible!
Don't give up our garage company.
Characterless fools.
Listen...
You're past helping.
He's mad.
Cheers to the young couple
We offer our congratulations
Cheers to the young couple
Come to my heart,
dear son-in-law
Be mine and be kissed
Because today's your wedding day
The bride
The beautiful bride
You stole from us
Have you all gone mad?
On the contrary, we're delighted!
About the super marriage contract.
Marriage contract?
Who's marrying who?
Marriage contract,
how am I to understand that?
Here, read it,
then you'll be informed
You dictated it yourself
Dictated it yourself,
dictated yourself, for the marriage
Dictated yourself,
yes, dictated yourself
I declare herewith that
Miss Lilian Cossmann
Is the sweetest girl
in the world
And I consider myself lucky
To marry her here on the spot
The sooner the better
I never dictated that, I didn't
It's not true
Here's your signature,
plain and clear
That's true, that's true
Good bait catches fine fish,
but not me
Stop. Listen to what it says
in the legal code
If someone promises marriage
And breaks his promise deliberately
Then it's been the rule for years
To imprison the culprit on demand
The penalty for the crime
Will be at least twenty-one weeks
Oh, so that's what you mean!
A clever bit of blackmail!
My girl, between us
everything's settled, isn't it?
- First we'll go to the altar...
- And then?
And then we'll get a divorce
What does it matter?
You're only interested
In being a married woman...
I've had enough of this,
thanks, I can do without.
- Bravo!
- It calls from the wilds
Take another husband
Look at me closely
I've had enough
I've had enough,
I'm not a dog
You tormented me for 20 years,
I said yes to everything
Whatever happened was my fault,
now I've lost my patience
- I say no and no again
- Don't shout!
- I want to shout!
- Consul, this is too much!
I speak now! Be quiet!
Listen and take note,
I'm going to make Edith my wife
When, where and how I like,
and if you complain
I'll spank your bottom
no matter what happens
Stop!
I'll never allow you
to so brutally attack...
...such a defenceless, weak...
...charming, sweet creature.
Well, thank God.
Only with you can I be happy
All our sweet dreams
Will come true today
And us?
What's going to happen to us?
No one here to love us
A friend, a good friend
Is the best thing that there is
That's enough now!
- But, Willy!
- What is it now?
- The people!
- What people?
- The audience.
- Where?
There!
Yes, really...
And all strangers, too.
What are they doing here?
The film is over.
Shall we ask them?
- Ladies and gentlemen...
- Wait, Willy!
I know why!
A real operetta needs a finale.
Oh, I see.
Lilian, come with me.
Just a moment, please.
THE END
Ressynch: Kilo