Three Wise Cousins (2016) - full transcript

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(LEAVES RUSTLE)

Can you say that again?

I'm here to learn the culture.

Oh. I think you're telling
a little truth

and a little lie.

(LEAVES CRUNCH)

What do you think, Mose?

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC SWELLS)

Hi, Adam.

Hey.



Yeah, I think Tavita
is right, huh?

You're not telling
us everything.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC SWELLS)

Seems like you're thirsty, yeah?

- You need something to drink?
- Yeah. That would be good.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC SWELLS)

OK. I'll get you one, huh.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(GRUNTS)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(MUSIC SWELLS, ECHOES)



(MUSIC SLOWS, STOPS)

(ICE CRACKS LOUDLY)

(LAUGHS) Do you know
why I got the ice?

Because I'm a cool guy.

Mose's a cool guy too.

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

(SIGHS)

Do you know why
you've got a straw?

Cos you suck telling us
why you're here, huh?

- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- I- I just want to learn from you guys.

Oh, come on, Adam.
Talk-talk for a drink-drink.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(LAUGHS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(REFLECTIVE MUSIC)

So, um, yeah,

back in New Zealand,

I've just been, uh,

really really busy,

uh, just doing stuff -
New Zealand stuff.

It's, like, nothing big,
but, uh, anyways,

this one day I was
running errands,

I kind of met this girl.

# Ooh, the way she
walk is like a crime.

# Ooh, my mind is
working overtime.

# Ooh, can't help but fantasise,

# cos she's got
those kind of eyes.

# Those eyes. #

Uh, so...

it was love at first sight.

But not like love-love.
No lovey-dovey, yeah, but, yeah.

Yeah, I thought I wasn't
gonna see her again.

I thought it was gonna be
one of those one-offs, eh.

But I just had this- I just had this feeling
that our paths will probably cross again.

(CHUCKLES)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

So, yeah, we tried to
make plans to catch up.

(PHONE CHIMES)

But, um, one of us would always be busy, cos,
you know, our schedules are really different

and, you know, we'd be like- we'd be,
like, constantly missing each other.

(PHONE CHIMES)

So I changed up my schedule a little bit,
you know, just moved stuff around and-

to try and make time.

But then she couldn't make it cos
she's out hanging with her friends and-

But, you know, I'm busy.
You know, I'm busy as well.

I'm- I'm busy hanging out with my friends.
You know, everyone's got lives to live.

So for a while it looked like
it wasn't gonna happen.

Might as well forget it.
It's not worth it

I mean, why bother going
through all of that effort?

# Feeling so fly inside.

# I'm so fly. #

Oh, but then out of nowhere
(CHUCKLES) it all just worked out.

Oh, but then out of nowhere
(CHUCKLES) it all just worked out.

- Well, we managed to catch up, and I- you
know, I finally got to know more about her,

so-- so, yeah, I made sure
I really listened to her.

You know, girls really like
it when guys listen to them.

- WOMAN: That skux guy from med school,
he was very friendly.
- (PEOPLE CHATTER)

Uh, he's a bit... plastic.
Not my type.

And your type is...?

Um, an island guy?

- (FRIENDS LAUGH)
- What? What was that?

- An island guy.
- Really?

Yeah, like a real island guy, like
the kind that has it together here.

You know, works the land
like back in the islands.

What, were these guys not
fresh enough for you?

Yeah, so this girl, she wants a real
island guy, not someone plastic.

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(GRUNTS)

- Hey, Dad.
- O le a?

Dad, do you-?
Do you think I'm plastic?

No. You're not plastic. You know,
plastic's good to keep your food fresh.

Plastic's very useful in my
life. You're not a plastic.

(STARTS LAWNMOWER)

I really like this girl, but, you know,
I just didn't think I was her type.

Adam, I have a photo on the phone.
How do you put it on the Facebook?

But you know what they say - when
one door closes, a window will open,

so, I don't know,
something like that.

Here, go on.

And all your dad's family -

unfriended all of them.

- Don't let me see their stupid faces.
- OK.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

Who's this guy?

That's your cousin Tavita,
Auntie Palepa's son.

- And this guy?
- That's Mose, Auntie Fa'aleo and Uncle Leui's son.

I realise if I'm going to become
the guy this girl will like,

then I'll have to see
my cousins in Samoa.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Oh wow.

That story was, uh...

amazing.

So you've come all this way
here just for that girl?

And you want us
to teach you what?

Uh, just all the, uh- the- the
island stuff that you guys do.

- And your parents are OK with that?
- Yeah, they let you come here?

(TENSE MUSIC)

Why don't you get a job?

Sefa!

What do you want to
go for the bush for?

All you do is sit and wipe your
bum with a cushion on the couch,

with the PlayStation,
playing with yourself all day.

When I was in the island,
I didn't have anything.

Yeah, yeah, they're fine
with me coming here.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

I'm going to find
Mose and Tavita.

Be careful. They're
smart but very... wild.

(FUNKY MUSIC)

So, you wanna be
a real island guy?

And then this girl
will like you?

OK.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

- A bit of a late starter.
- It's better late than never.

- Cuz, you must be on island time.
- (LAUGHS)

# Cha-hoo!

# Cha-hoo!

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

# Cha-hoo-hoo!

# Take me to the islands,
the islands.

# I wanna go there.

# Take me to the islands,
the islands.

# Take me to the islands,
the islands.

# Gotta get out of here.

# Take me to the islands,
the islands.

# On my way, my way,

# hoping to find the man in me.

# Got my eyes on a girl.

# Gonna do what it takes to be,

# gonna do what it takes to be,

# be the one she sees. #

(RECORD WHIRRS, FADES)

(DOG BARKS, CHICKENS SQUAWK)

(RECORD WHIRRS)

# Once I find myself in
the island far away.

# Take me to the islands,
the islands.

# I wanna go there.

# Take me to the islands,
the islands.

# Take me to the islands,
the islands.

# Gotta get out of here.

# Take me to the islands,
the islands. #

(ROOSTERS CROW)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(GROANS SOFTLY)

(CHICKENS CLUCK)

(ROOSTER CROWS)

(GRUNTS)

Tavita?

Mose?

Tavita? Mose?

(CHICKENS CONTINUE CLUCKING)

Tavita?

(ROOSTER CROWS)

Mose?

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

- (PIG SQUEALS)
- (GASPS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(PANTS) One day it's gonna
make a good bacon.

- Morning.
- No, cuz, it's afternoon.
- Oh, s-sorry.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

Uh, cuz, the air from your
mouth is, um... (SNIFFS)

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

Breathe on me, cuz.
(SNIFFS) Breathe on me.

(SIGHS) That's much better.
(CHUCKLES)

But you have to remember, the
girls, they've really got good nose.

OK, um, where's Mose?

(SQUEAKS LIPS)

Hey. Um, I was wondering
it I could...

get some food?

- Some food?
- Yeah.
- Cuz.

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

- I think you should change your clothes.
- Uh, OK. Yeah.

Wow. Those clothes are...

Just watch.

#I'm a boss.
Go, get out my way.

# Mr Island Lover all day.

# Yeah, I'm a boss. #

Tickle, tickle, tickle.

(GRUNTS)

It's easy. Bro, go.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

Use your feet and
pump your body up.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

- (GRUNTS)
- Engage your core muscles.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

Climb the tree but
don't get it pregnant.

Oh.

(FUNKY MUSIC)

- Husk it.
- Husk it?

Take off the husk.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

- (GRUNTS)
- Oh, now you waste it.

- Don't hit the middle, all right?
- All right, OK.

Give it another try.

(GRUNTS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Slow down, man.

Bro, go slow.

(CONTINUES GRUNTING)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Oh, sole.

(BIRDS CHIRP)

All right, I think this feau
is probably easier for you.

- You won't kill yourself with a salu.
- Fe- Fe-o?

- IMITATES ADAM: Fe-o.
- It's feau, cuz. It means chores.

Go salu some leaves.

(ROOSTER CROWS)

(DOG BARKS)

(CHICKENS CLUCK)

(ALL PANT)

(PANTS, LAUGHS) That
took you a long time.

Yeah, um, I was just wondering if,
um, I- I could do something else.

I don't know, raking leaves -
it's not really island.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

- All right, goodnight, Adam.
- Goodnight, Adam.

Oh man, if he can't even handle sweeping
the leaves, how come he can handle a woman?

He just needs more
coaching, man.

Come all this way
for this one girl?

No, no, Mose. He's family.

(SCOFFS) OK, so what
do you wanna do?

We're just gonna teach him
everything we know, man.

- Oh, that shouldn't take that long, then.
- Yeah. (CHUCKLES)

(CHORAL SINGING)

(CHORAL SINGING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

- Oh, wake up, Sleeping Beauty.
- Or are you Sleeping Ugly?
- (GASPS)

- Hey, come on.
- Ow.
- Let's go and get some big nuts.

- Big nuts!
- OK, OK, OK.

All right, boy, breakfast.
Go get it.

What are you?
Just climb the tree.

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS)

If you wanna eat and you can't climb
trees, you can just pick fruits.

But we have a problem. If you're gonna feed
your whole family, the you will need to...

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

...get more fruits.

Yeah. Yeah.

And to carry alot of fruits,
you're gonna need a...

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Here's a clue, cuz. If you
carry your bolos in a sack,

then you carry your
fruits in a...?

- Fruit basket.
- Fruit basket.
- A fruit basket?

Yeah.

And to do that, if you're a real
island guy, you can use anything...

to make anything.

Like this.

You see that? You know
what it's called?

Say pulou.

Pu-low.

Pu-low. What kind of
Samoan you are?

- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Huh? Mm.

There you go, island guy, you.

Oh, no, not an island guy yet.

- Man, are you sure you sill wanna
do all of this?
- Yeah, I'm sure.

What are you asking
for if it's not easy?

Is this girl worth it? There
are a lot of fish in the sea.

You can just catch it without
using any fishing rod

or you can just go stand in the sea, wiggle
your toes, and you can still get one.

And if you don't like fish,
you catch whale like in Japan.

You can catch crabs too.
Do you like crabs?

Oh, she's the most beautiful-est
girl I've- I've ever seen.

Do you have a photo of her?

- Oh wow.
- Mm.

I wish I had a phone like this.

- Never had a phone like this one.
- Oh, just give me the phone.

- He's not giving you his phone.
- (SIGHS)

Hmm? I wish I had
a blue T-shirt.

- Oh my God.
- Oh my...

- Look.
- ...goodness, Adam!
She's gorgeous.

No wonder why you've
come all this way here.

I think she's out
of your league.

Catch.

Cuz, look, if you wanna be a real island guy and
then this girl will fall in love with you,

- then you've gotta give us your everything.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do whatever it takes.

Whatever it takes, huh?

There you go.

Go tidy some leaves.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GRUNTS)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

(GRUNTS, PANTS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC FADES)

(SNORES)

Why's he sleeping?

I- think he's having a power nap.
- A power nap?

- What's a power nap?
- l guess when the power goes off, then they go to sleep.

You'll never win that
girl's heart by sleeping.

As long as the sun is in the
sky, you will open your eyes.

Is this your everything? Get up.

Go tidy some leaves.

Yeah.

Here.

- Ow!
- Here. Get here, salu.

- Just put on my shoes.
- Hurry up.

- (GRUNTS)
- Go.

(DOG BARKS)

(SIGHS) I really love
that blue T-shirt.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(GRUNTS)

- Less grinding, more climbing.
- (GROANS)

OK. Go, hurry up. Get up. Go up.

- (GROANS)
- Hey.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES)

When you use this salu,

it's important that you understand the
wisdom and this dance of how you use it.

Gotta stay low.
Brush, brush, brush.

Shake, shake, shake.

WHISPERS: Cuz,
you have stay low.

If the girls see you do the sweeping, you have
to give them all the angles for their eyes.

Brush, brush, brush.

Shake, shake, shake.

All right, boy, so before you plant
the food, you need to clear the land.

You know, uh, what
sasa le vao means?

- No.
- No. Sasa le vao means 'beat up the grass'.

(MOMENTOUS MUSIC)

Brush, brush.

Shake, shake, shake.

Yeah? Brush, brush, brush.

Shake, shake.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC SLOWS)

(CHORAL MUSIC)

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

Oi, oi!

The grass will start
laughing at you.

(MOMENTOUS CHORAL MUSIC)

Brush, brush, brush.

So we do all this, cos if the
woman sees a man's fale's dusty,

they will think, 'What other
parts of that man is dusty too?'

# My feeling inside, my love.

# I'm feeling... #

Stop fickling the grass
but cut it down.

OK.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(GRUNTS)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

A woman doesn't like a man
with a dusty heart, cuz.

You gotta have a clean heart.

(MOMENTOUS PAN FLUTE MUSIC)

(GRUNTS)

# Come take me back
to the islands.

# Come take me back
to the islands.

# Come take me back
to the islands.

# Come take me there.
# Come take me back to the islands.

# Come take me there. #

Goodnight, Adam.
Don't let the bed bugs bite.

No, really. Don't let them bite your
bum, cos then you can't sit down.

OK. Don't bite the bum.

OK. Don't bite the bum.

(INSPIRING MUSIC)

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

- Hi.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

You know, if you don't want to climb
the tree, you can always pick the fruit.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

- Yo, Mary?
- Mmhm?

- I grew this plum tree.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Oh.

- That's why they call me the plumber.
- You're so talented.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

Boo.

Brush, brush.
Shake, shake, shake.

- Now you can salu all of that.
- Anything for you, Adam.

(ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES)

-I got- I got you.
- No! (GRUNTS)
- (LAUGHS)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC SLOWS)

(JAUNTY CLASSICAL MUSIC)

- Yeah? Do you like it?
- Yeah.

- Hey. He's probably having a sexy
dream about that girl.
- (GROANS)

- A sexy dream?
- Yeah, see?
- Hoo, hoo! How sweet.

But that's OK, cos here comes the
50 shades of waking up your eyes.

- (GASPS)
- Get up!

(JAUNTY MUSIC)

(GRUNTS)

(LAUGHS) I got it! I got one!

- (LAUGHS) Mose, I got one!
- Oh yeah, you got it.

- (LAUGHS) You're Spider Man guy.
- (CHUCKLES)

(JAUNTY CHORAL MUSIC)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

- Yeah, now you've got it.
- (LAUGHS)

If the woman sees you do the
weaving, they will be like,

"Wow, that guy's very
good with his fingers.

'Can you come to my house
and braid my hair?' (LAUGHS)

(JAUNTY CHORAL MUSIC)

(LAUGHS) Mose! (LAUGHS)
Look! Look, I done it!

Oh, you did it, huh?

- All right, here you go.
- Whoa.

- Crack it.
- Oh.

- (LAUGHS)
- Oh.

Let's go and do a pickup.

# They call me Mr Island Lover.

# Mm, hey.

# I'm hot like the lava.

# Mm, hey.

# From the islands of Samoa.

# Mm, hey. #

Stay balanced, OK?

It's important you put your arms
like this. You show your wings.

So if the girl sees you,
they'll be like, (SNIFFS) 'Yum.'

(CHORAL MUSIC)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

Malo.

Huh, it's nice, huh?

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC STOPS)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Just make a hole next
to the tiapula.

Where the tiapulas are.
Make a straight line like that.

Oh.

- Just stab it?
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

OK.

- (GRUNTS)
- Hey, you move all the grass, then make a hole. (GRUNTS)

What's wrong? Huh?

You came all this way. You want
to be a real island guy?

(CLICKS FINGERS) Hey.

- Huh?
- Buddy.
- Yeah?

- You all right, cuz?
- We need to hurry right now. It's almost dark.

Hurry up.

Hey, cuz.
Yeah, we're almost done.

Yeah. (PANTS)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Oh, cuz.

(TENSE MUSIC)

Sole.

Nobody asked him to come.
He came by himself.

We should be easy
on our cuz, Mose.

Huh, maybe you can find rest in
New Zealand, but not here in Samoa.

He doesn't get used
to this stuff.

(TENSE MUSIC)

What?

- Huh.
- You all right, cuz?

Hey, you all right?
You're sweating.

- You're tired, huh?
- Yeah.
- It's hard.

Yeah. That's how we live.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

In New Zealand
you go to the gym.

- Get some muscles, huh?
- Yeah.

Over here this is our gym. Huh?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- And this is how we do it.

- Here, like this.
- We're almost done.Yeah, we're almost done.

Pass me the tiapula.

(REFLECTIVE CHORAL MUSIC)

(ROOSTER CROWS, DOG BARKS)

Oh, hey, Mum.

Oh, sorry. I was busy.

I don't know. I'll be back whenever, I guess.

Yeah, I- I'm still learning
what I need to learn.

OK, yeah, Mose and Tavita,
they've been looking after me.

Yes.

Yeah, Mose and Tavita,
they're a bit...

They're a bit weird.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Oh.

Yeah, I- I'll be back when I'm done.
I've still got stuff to learn.

I think our cousin needs to feel
the real island life, hmm?

- OK. All right.
- What do you wanna do?

He's a heavy sleeper, huh?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(BULL ROARS)

(EAGLE CRIES)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(GRUNTS)

- What's that?
- It's an eyeliner.

- For what?
- It brings out your eyes so you can see better in the dark.

Oh hell, no. It's not necessary.

(SNEAKY MUSIC)

Hey, just keep it
on the down low.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GRUNTS)

(MIAOWS)

(SNEAKY MUSIC)

WHISPERS: We should
roll him like sushi.

Oh, really? Maybe you
should sushi your mouth.

- (BOTH GRUNT)
- Oh man, he's so heavy.

(SNEAKY MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC FADES)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(PANTS)

Mose?

Tavita? Where am I? (PANTS)

- D-- Do you speak English?
- Do you speak English?

(GASPS)

Hey. (SHOUTS)

(CHILDREN SHOUT)

(DOGS BARK)

(DOG BARKS)

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

(CHILDREN SHOUT)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(CHILDREN SHOUT)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

- Look.
- Where?

What are we doing?
What? What is this?

(CHILDREN SHOUT)

(UPLIFTING MUSIC)

(CHILDREN SHOUT)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHILDREN CHATTER)

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

- Cocoa.
- Yeah, cocoa.
- Mm.

- Cut.
- Cut? Cut?

- OK, here?
- OK.
- All right.

(CHILDREN SHOUT)

(UPLIFTING MUSIC)

(GROANS) OK.

- No, no, no
- Yeah.
- OK. Pul lit up?

- Yeah.
- (GRUNTS)

- No, no.
- No, no? No? OK, OK. I got it.

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(GRUNTS)

Oh.

(GRUNTS)

Ku'uku'u Mai.

- Wait.
- Oh.

- La'au.
- Oh, stick? OK.

- (PEOPLE CHATTER)
- OK.
- Oh, watch out.

(CHILDREN CHATTER)

- There.
- Watch out.

(CHILDREN SHOUT)

(LOW MUSIC)

- Cocoa.
- Good. OK.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(TAPPING ECHOES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC ENDS)

(ROOSTER CROWS)

- # Ooh.
- # This is how we do it in the islands.

- # Ooh.
- # The islands of Samoa. #

(FUNKY MUSIC)

# This is how we do, how we do,
how we do it in the islands.

# This is how we do, how we do,
how we do it our way.

Cocoa?

# This is how we do, this is how
we do, how we do in the islands

# This is how we do, how we do.

Wait, wait, what?

What? What?

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

# This is how we do, how we do,
how we do in the islands.

# This is how we do, how we do,
how we do it our way.

# Gonna do it our way.

# Gonna do it our way. #

Cocoa?

Cocoa, anyone?

Sefulu tala.

Cocoa?

Cocoa?

Yeah.

- Yeah.
- (SIREN WAILS)

(LAUGHS)

(PERCUSSIVE MUSIC)

# This is how we do, how we do,
how we do it in the islands, huh. #

What?

(PEQOPLE CHATTER, CAR HORN HONKS)

(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)

(CHICKENS CLUCK)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(ROOSTER CROWS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHILD COUGHS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHILDREN CHATTER)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(CHILDREN CHATTER)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GECKO CHIRPS)

So warm.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES)

(BOTH SPEAK SAMOAN)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(ROOSTER CROWS)

- Malo.
- Malo.

Hello, Adam.

(GENTLE MUSIC FADES)

(ROOSTER CROWS)

(ROOSTER CROWS)

(SIGHS) Wake up, sleepyhead.
Got a surprise for you.

(GRUNTS, GROANS)

(GROANS) You guys are sad.

No, we are happy.

- Are you happy?
- (CHUCKLES) I am so happy.

(GROANS) Where-? Where was I?

That was your Uncle Paulo and your Auntie
Frida and your cousins from your dad's side.

Now, did you have fun?

That was one day for you, bro,
but that was every day for them.

Yeah, you still wanna do this,
or you ready to go home?

Or is things too... weird?

Uh, I'm good to learn some more.

Here, drink up.

- We'll take it easy on you today.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Maybe or maybe not.

(REFLECTIVE MUSIC)

So, this girl, is she still worth it?
Doing all these things?

- Yeah, she's worth it
- Aw.
- And more.

- Oh. Why this girl? Why is she so special?
- (SIGHS) I don't know.

It's just the way she looks.
Her beautiful eyes.

- Yeah, and her nice smile.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Of all your girlfriends, she's still
the number one, huh? (CHUCKLES)

- (CLEARS THROAT)
- (ROOSTER CROWS)

Cuz, when was the last time
you had a girlfriend?

Have you ever had a
girlfriend before, cuz?

- (CHICKENS CLUCK)
- Uh, no.
- Oh, not even one?

- It's OK. It's all right.
- Oh yeah, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

So, this girl Mary, what do you guys have in
common? Does she even know you like her, huh?

I've never spoken to her before.

Are you serious?

Sole, you haven't
even spoke to her,

and you think coming to Samoa and
climbing on a coconut tree will help you?

Sole, get real.

Adam! Come back, uso.

What do you have to
be like that for?

Look, he never have a girlfriend before.
He never speaks to the girl he likes.

What do you think? Maybe the girl's not
real. Maybe it's just his imagination.

No. (SCOFFS)

Adam, where are you?

(TENSE MUSIC)

- Adam.
- Come out, come out wherever you are.

(PANTS) Adam.

Don't be mad at us.

- Be happy.
- Where are you, cuz?

You know it's not good for your
soul to go into the bush angry.

- Oh, there you are.
- Where?

There. (LAUGHS)

Go, go, go, go.

Adam!

Oh, there you are.

Cuz, don't be mad at us.

I'll be leaving to
go home tomorrow.

No, no, no. Don't do that.

- This was mistake.
- Oh yes, it is.

- I should have never come here.
- (CLEARS THROAT) No, it's no.

Easy for you guys to say. I mean,
you can talk to any girl you want.

Oh, talking is easy, but the
hard part is listening.

Adam, I don't understand these emotions
that make you run into the bush.

Cos whenever I have
obstacles in my life,

I deconstruct and partition them
into smaller manageable bites,

and then I address each one of those parts
individually until the obstacles never exist.

(CLEARS THROAT) Cuz, look, what he's trying
to say, whatever you're going through,

come on, deal with it.

Cuz, we'll still be here to help you.
That girl is still waiting for you.

She's still waiting for
that real island guy.

Wise man says you can do it
if you put your back into it.

So, cuz, can you
come back into it?

- Hey, cuz?
- Stay with us,cuz?
- Yeah, stay with us, cuz.

- Yeah, all right. OK.
- l remember that look.
- (LAUGHS)

- I guess that means we're OK now?
- Yeah.

- Yeah! High-five.
- (ALL LAUGH)

- Let's go.
- Let's go.

(UPLIFTING MUSIC)

- Come on, cuz. Wake up.
- (GASPS)

- Come on, cuz. Wake up.
{GASPS)

- Wise man says early birds never scared of girls.
- (CHUCKLES)

All right?

# Away. Come, come away.

Show us your siva Samoa.

# Away.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, show us.

(ISLAND MUSIC)

(LAUGHS)

- OK, OK.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

No, no, no, cuz.
That's good for now.

All right, here we go.
High tide, low tide.

- Do you notice what I'm wearing?
- Grey?
- It's silver.

It means second place.

You are telling that woman that you're
the kind of guy that always comes second

and you make sure she
always comes first.

Swim between the flags. You wanna go
rock fishing, put on your life jacket.

Buckle it up. Buckle it up. Have a great
life. Have a great life. Got that?

I wanna teach you some
night dance. Yeah?

One, two. Wash it off,
Wash it off. Wash it off.

You need to have a way of standing
out to a woman. And to do that...

(INSPIRING MUSIC)

(CHUCKLES)

# I just don't know why
I'm so sexy babe. #

Shine bright like a diamond.

You know what they
say about diamonds?

They are girls' best friends.

Don't you wanna be
a girl's best friend?

Adam, you need to be able to
send a woman a smoke signal,

- because where's there is smoke, ...
- ..there is fire.

- And where there is fire, ...
- ..there is a fireman.

And all the women
loves a fireman.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

MOSE, TAVITA: Smile like water
is cold. Water is cold.

Have a great life.
Have a great life.

BOTH: Cha-hoo!

Row, row, row, row.

Point to the other girl?

Now bite your lips.

BOTH: You. (GRUNTS)
You. (GRUNTS)

You're telling a girl that
you're biting an old mango tree.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Mmhm.

- Do you know what that means?
- Uh, no.

- You know the older the mango, the sweeter the juice?
- I- Oh.

- That's how sweet you're gonna dance for that girl.
- Oh wow. OK.

Mm. Start from the
beginning. Mmhm.

- Cha-hoo-hoo!
- Just say cha-hoo.

- Choo!
- Cha-hoo!

- Chou!
- Cha-hoo-hoo!

- Choo-choo-choo!
- (SIGHS)

You know, a woman likes a
man with a shiny face,

cos they like a knight with his shiny armour.
You know what makes that armour shine, huh?

It's the coconut oil. You're
holding a key to the shiny world.

Cos wherever there's a lock, there's
always a key. Adam, you have that key.

Make your world shiny.
You see the stars?

There's always stars in the sky. Without
their shining light, there's nothing.

- You wanna be a star, hmm?
- A star.
- Mmhm.

Then use that coconut oil.

ALL: Have a great life.
Have a great life.

Cha-hoo-hoo!

- Ahh!
- Bro!
- (BOTH LAUGH)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(CHUCKLES)

Adam.

Huh?

If a woman were to look at what
you're wearing, what would she think?

(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, not too clean?

She would say,
'Oh, that guy's dirty.

'If his shirt is like that, then maybe his
bum must be filthy. Stinky.' Oh, Adam. Ew.

And you don't want her
to think that way.

If a woman has skid marks in her panties,
would you still want to go out with her?

Oh, I would, cos you can wash out skid
marks, but you can't wash out ugly.

- Mose.
- What? I'm just saying.
Adam, look.

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

(TENSE MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

Here's where you're gonna
wash your clothes.

- Who does the washing at home?
- Mum does.
- Well, you should do it now.

Oh yeah. You should start washing all
the undies and your mum's panties.

- Huh? You don't wash
your mum's panties?

- No. Oh yeah, I mean-
- Oi, your mum washed your bum and raised you.

You shouldn't be shamed
of washing panties.

C-Can we stop saying
"Mum's panties'?

(CURIOUS MUSIC)

Adam, look!

# She wearing that
beauty like a natural.

See that girl?

Oh. And that guy.

# Who could resist
this body, hey?

This is a classic move passing
from generations to generations.

Now Mose and I will
translate it for you.

Oh yeah, cool.

- 'Hi.'
- 'Hi.'

- 'It's a wonderful day, eh?'
- 'It is a wonderful day.'

# Ooh,

'The water is warm.'

'It is warm.'

- 'Doing your family's washing?'
- 'Yeah.'

'(CHUCKLES) Me too.'

Oh my God, how long does it
take to wash one underwear?

Doesn't matter. This is an example of a
good conversation. They call it small talk.

# I just don't know
why I'm so sexy. #

Oh, this guy.

(SULTRY MUSIC)

(UPBEAT MUSIC)

# You'll be waiting
for some time.

# Oh, oh, oh.

# Told me that I noticed you.

# Girl, I take my time,

# cos in the end
you will be mine.

# Yeah, I know I'm irresistible.

# Hold your horses, girl.
I'll get to you.

# Trying to keep your cool

# because I'm good
at what I do. #

(PEOPLE CHATTER)

(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)

All right, Adam. Adam, come
here. This one is easy.

- See that girl over there?
- Mmhm.

Just go and talk
to her, all right?

- No.
- Just go.
- No.

- She already knows you're coming.
- No, not yet.

- Yeah.
- Just go say hello.
- OK.

Now go. Go.

What are you doing?

(SNEAKY MUSIC)

What are you doing there?

(PEOPLE CHATTER)

(SNEAKY MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

- Why is he touching the clothes?
- Shut up.

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Oh my God. Really?

(TENSE MUSIC)

- You owe me one, Mose.
- This is gonna be the last try, I promise.

Adam, look, this
is for real real.

Cuz, all you had to do is just make a sound
from your voice. Just a little bit sound.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

Hey, Adam.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC FADES)

Cuz, what happened?

- Nothing.
- Nothing?

Yeah, I saw you do nothing
but supposed to be something.

Oh, well, I don't know.
It's not my fault.

(TENSE PIANO MUSIC)

(TENSE PIANO MUSIC)

Cuz, why are you here?

It's OK.

Goodnight, Adam.

Sleep it off.

# Crawling

# again.

Adam?

Adam, what's wrong?

# Crawling.

What are you hiding?

- Adam, wake up. Wake up.
- (GROANS)

- Let's go make to'ona'i.
- What?

Let's go put the umu down.

- What time is it?
- It's 5am.

Oh, man, come on. Get up. You
wanna be an island guy or what?

- (GROANS)
- Get up. Let's go.

(INSECTS CHIRP)

- I need all of them, Adam.
- The whole thing? Yeah.

You know what you're gonna do?

- Peel these bananas.
- Peel the- All of them?
- Yeah.

Pull it out from there,

then you start it
from the beginning.

Come right up the top.

(CONTINUES SCRAPING)

Adam, Adam.

- Adam, wake up.
- Shh. Just leave him. Can't you see he's useless?

(SCRAPING)

{BIRDS CHIRP,
BELL RINGS THREE TIMES)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

WHISPERS: Go change
and come back.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)

C-Can I do something?

Can I help?

Hey.

(ROOSTER CROWS IN DISTANCE)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(WATER RUNS)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(GENTLE MUSIC FADES)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

Hurry up. We're waiting for you.

(OBJECTS CLATTER)

- Uh, hey, cuz?
- Yeah?

Um, I'm good to talk
to that girl again.

- OK.
- (CHUCKLES)
- I'll set it up.

- All right.
- Mmhm.
- Yeah.

(FUNKY MUSIC)

(FUNKY MUSIC)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(WOMAN LAUGHS)

- So, that's Adam.
- Oh.

OK, Adam, go do your thing.

Uh, no. She's with her friends.
I'll just wait till she's alone.

Oh man, that's what
a stalker would say.

- Doesn't matter. Just go.
- (SIGHS) All right. OK.

Yeah, OK.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(WOMEN CHATTER)

(LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

Hey.

Hey.

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

- Nice shiny face.
- (LAUGHS AWKWARDLY)

(QUIRKY MUSIC)

You look nice too.
(GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)

Hey, OK.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)

(ALL LAUGH)

- Did you guys see that?
(CHUCKLES)
- Yeah.

- I did it.
- That was really good.

Man, are you serious? After everything
we have told you, that's all you can do?

Man, that was...

That was useless.

And you, you are useless.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(SIGHS) You will never
get that girl, ever.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(SIGHS)

What? I get in at 5am.

Well, what about Dad?

Fine, I'll just walk.

I'll be going home.

Not even a thank you?

This- This was stupid. You know,
I should have never come here.

Do you actually think that coconut
oil makes girls notice you?

Coconut oil is a high-vis vest
for your face.

Everything you do is backwards.

I was stupid to think that my cousins who
live in the bush could actually help me.

Excuse me.

We're not from the bush.

We live in a fale. Yeah, with your
stupid ideas and your broken English.

Sorry you feel that way, cuz.

Nah, you're not helping him.

I can tell by the look on your
face that I really hurt you.

But you can tell by the look on
my face that I don't even care.

Ia faasao lou olaga ua
kele lava lou fiapoko.

I will straighten the path that
your life is heading to.

- First and foremost, you are so ungrateful.
- Mose, you don't have to.

No, wait, did you really think this
girl would like you just by coming here,

learn all those stuffs? Man, you
are so arrogant. You are so blind.

Why do you think this girl wanna
go out with an island guy? Huh?

Maybe you understand a little bit
more if you had talked to her.

If you fa'alogo with
your... stalker ears.

Now, I'm right, huh?

That's exactly what this girl wants
- a real man, not just an island guy,

a guy who knows how to be a man. And
you know what? You are not that guy.

How can you protect a woman,
respect her the way she deserves

if you don't know how to
respect your own parents?

And I can see it now,
and so is Tavita.

How did you afford to come
here when you've got no job?

How? Huh?

How come you have a flash phone and your laptop
that you do your Facebook stalking, huh?

Somebody must have
bought it for you.

Who? Your mum and your dad.

And you just walk up here expecting us to
teach you to become this 'real island guy',

and you don't even know
how to say please.

- Gotta have manners, know how to say please
and thank you.
- Oh, come on, Tavita.

You assume other people will
change their life for you?

We've been taking our time off our life just
to help you because that's what family does.

Do you even help your parents?

You don't know how to cook. You don't
do the washing. You don't even pay rent.

You think you're shy and humble,
but you're not.

You're just afraid to talk to girls
because once they get to know you,

they figure that out that you
are not good enough for them.

And the only thing to hide the truth
is for you not to say anything.

And that's your
defence mechanism.

You think your cousin from the bush
doesn't understand psychiatrics?

- Psychology.
- Psychology.

You got it easy. You got opportunity,
but what have you done with it? Nothing.

I Know your parents raised you proper,
but you just took advantage of them.

Cuz, you're not as innocent
as you think you are.

(REFLECTIVE MUSIC)

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(JET ENGINE WHIRRS)

(ENGINE ROARS)

(REFLECTIVE MUSIC)

(REFLECTIVE MUSIC)

(CAR PASSES BY)

(CRICKETS CHIRP, BIRD CALLS)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

# Crawling.

# Crawling in deep

# through my blood.

# I just can't get it now.

# I just can't get it
to the other side.

# This brown canoe, brown canoe

# through the concrete tide. #

(DOWNBEAT MUSIC)

(SIGHS, SPEAKS SAMOAN)

- Adam? Adam?
- (GASPS)

Hi, son.

(SPEAKS SAMOAN)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(CLEARS THROAT)

You look skinny, son. Yeah. I haven't
seen this much food in a while.

(DISHES CLATTER)

(GROANS SOFTLY)

(DOOR CREAKS)

(DISHES CLATTER)

(POIGNANT MUSIC)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

- How you gonna pay for the plane?
- I wanted to borrow some money.

Look at you, with no job!

Ask for money? I work all day,
food on the table into your mouth,

and you ask me for stupid
things with your face.

(POIGNANT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC FADES)

(BIRDS CHIRP, TRAFFIC PASSES BY)

(TRIUMPHANT MUSIC)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC SLOWS)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

- This is your CV?
- Uh, yeah.

Yeah, a bit blank. Um, have
you done any work experience,

voluntary through church
or helping out some friends?

- I've done some digging, uh, and I've
also climbed some trees.
- (INHALES) OK.

Uh, I guess that's something
we can work on.

Um, also, do you have anything else
other than what you're wearing?

Cos, um, it looks like you've
just come back from hunting.

(PIG SQUEALS)

(INSPIRING MUSIC)

- Adam.
- Oh.

Thought I'd cook you some
breakfast before you go to work.

Sole.

- Are you taking drugs?
- (CHUCKLES)

I-- I'm going to look
for a job today as well.

I went yesterday, but the person at
the place said that my, uh, CV was...

- ...useless?
- Shh.
- Yeah.

- Does your CV have a picture
of PlayStation on it? No. What?

Uh, I just need more experience.

(INSPIRING MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

(MUSIC SLOWS)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

Bye, PlayStation.

(ROUSING MUSIC)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC FADES)

- [Speaks Samoan]
- Do the same thing..?
- Yeah?

(INSPIRING MUSIC)

(MUSIC QUICKENS)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(BOTH LAUGH])

- Wow!
- (LAUGHS)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC SLOWS)

Oh.

Put it down the hole.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC SLOWS, FADES)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

- Here you go, Mum.
- Looks nice.
- (CHUCKLES) Dad.

- Thank you.
- What?

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

I'll give you that.

- (SIGHS)
- Thank you for everything you are doing.

We are very happy with the
help you have given us.

But your mum and I, we don't want
you to keep working like this.

We want you to have a better life,
better than what we have. Son.

You want me to go
and study something?

Get a good education
and then a good job.

So when you give Mum and I the
envelope, it will be a bigger envelope.

- (CHUCKLES)
- A heavy envelope.

If you want it heavy, I can
put coins in it for you.

- Oh yeah, so I can throw the
envelope at your head, huh? {LAUGHS)

It's up to you, son. Do whatever
what you want to do.

Yeah. You're right. Thank you. I just have
a few things I need to take care of first.

Yeah. You're right. Thank you. I just have
a few things I need to take care of first.

(BIRDS CHIRP)

(ROOSTER CROWS, CHICKENS CLUCK)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

What? It's Adam!

- Cool.
- Yeah. Oh.

- What's up?
- Yeah. Um, I got something for you guys.

Here, that's for you.

(SIGHS) And that's for you.

And this is for you.

(UPLIFTING MUSIC)

- (ADAM LAUGHS)
- Whoa!

- Oh, look at the lollipop. (LAUGHS)
- Oh!

(ALL LAUGH)

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC SWELLS, FADES)

Hey, cuz! (LAUGHS)

- (BOTH LAUGH)
- Hello, man.
- (ROOSTER CROWS)

- (BOTH LAUGH)
- What are you doing here?
- Uh, thanks.

Mose! Adam's here.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(CHUCKLES)

Um...

Well, um, I just wanna say, uh, thank you
for everything that you guys did for me

and for everything you guys taught me.
I also wanna say that I'm sorry.

You guys were right.

- I was selfish, and I was pretty useless.
- Mm, yep.

Huh. Everything you guys
told me was true,

so I just- just wanna
say that I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no, no, cuz. You know
love for the family is forgiveness.

No, I- I actually
owe you guys one.

Anyways, um, I brought
you guys something.

(CHUCKLES) Here.

(CHUCKLES)

- Oh. I always wanted a blue
T-shirt like this one.
- (CHUCKLES)

Is this what I think
it is? (GIGGLES)

Oh! (LAUGHS)

- (CHUCKLES)
- I always wanted a phone like this one.

And now I have a phone like
this one. (LAUGHS) Mm.

So, your parents paid
for all of this?

I- I paid for it myself
this time. (CHUCKLES)

I got a job, actually.
A couple of jobs. Uh...

I've also been helping
out at home.

- Um, I'll be going to study when I get back
as well. (CHUCKLES)
- (ROOSTER CROWS)

Well, that's good.

Yeah, that's really good, cuz.

Oh wow.

Thank you, cuz.
I really appreciate it.

I think your phone is
bigger than my one.

So, have you asked
out that girl yet?

Yeah, have you impressed her
with your... island skills, hmm?

(CHUCKLES) Nah.

I think a girl deserves someone who knows
how to look after their own family first.

- BOTH: Oh!
- (ALL LAUGH)

- Look after your family before
you make another family.
- Yeah.

Do you know how to
make a family, huh?

- Yes.
- (LAUGHS) Sole. (LAUGHS)

- Guys, come.
- (ALL GRUNT)

Here. Oh.

- Come on, Adam. Stand
in the middle. Yeah.

- Right here?
- All right, yeah.

- One, two, three.
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

(GENTLE MUSIC)

(TRAFFIC PASSES BY)

(HORN HONKS])

Cool, that's us for tonight.
Assignments are due next Friday.

(GENTLE MUSIC SWELLS)

(ROMANTIC MUSIC)

(MUSIC SLOWS)

That's a cool bag.

Thanks.

- Wish I had a bag like that one. Where did
you buy it from?
- Uh, I made it myself.

- Really?
- Well, actually, my cousins taught me how to make it.

That's really cool,
and it looks good on you.

Thanks.

(MUSIC SWELLS)

(MUSIC STOPS)

ALL: Ahh!

# This is how we do
it in the islands.

# Come sway, sway with me.

# Come, girl, you
know you want Samoa.

# Come play, play with me.

# This is how we do
it in the islands.

# Come sway, sway with me.

# Come, girl, you know
you want Samoa.

# Come play, play with me.

# She wants to drink
this coconutty.

# Yeah, just can't resist all
this oil on my body, girl.

# I'll have you feeling lo-di-da-di, girl.

# When I bob this afro, it
make you wanna party, girl.

# Yeah, you can be my queen bee,

# cos Mr Island Lover
is the king chief.

# But I gotta say, I see
so many fishes in the sea.

# When I wiggle my toes,
they come swimming up to me.

# This is how we do
it in the islands.

# Come sway, sway with me.

# Come, girl, you know
you want Samoa.

# Come play, play with me.

# This is how we do
it in the islands.

# Come sway, sway with me.

# Come, girl, you know
you want Samoa.

# Come play, play with me.

# Excuse me, beg
my pardon, miss.

# You see my cheek, you
must give me a kissy-kiss.

# If I was your genie,
what's your wish?

# She said she want me to be
Mr Island Lover lavalava-less.

# Yeah, I heard just
what you said, girl,

# but I must behave or my mama's
backhanding my head, girl.

# Yeah.

# You can't complain
that I'm a mama's boy,

# because I'm an auntie and
grandmama's boy too, yeah.

# This is how we do
it in the islands.

# Come sway, sway with me.

# Come, girl, you know
you want Samoa.

# Come play, play with me.

# This is how we do
it in the islands.

# Come sway, sway with me.

# Come, girl, you know
you want Samoa. #

# Come, girl, you know
you want Samoa. #