Three Months (2022) - full transcript

Come on! That boat's, like,

a light year away!

At some point, I'm gonna start

taking this personally!

You can't just ignore me,

Raymond! I'm not your wife!

Asshole.

Aren't you supposed

to get somebody

to ride that with you?

Take it off!

Just these.

Oh!

These too.

Those don't always

work, you know.

Okay.

Oh, babe, but

I like bubble gum.

"But I like bubble gum."

The condoms.

Talking about the condoms.

First, you two get handsy in

the back of his mom's Jetta.

You say some cheesy line

about how hot she is.

She massages her nipples.

And then after warming

up his stick shift with

the Cabbage Patch lip gloss,

you would gently

slip on a Trojan,

the mightiest of

soldiers, and you think,

"Great, now I'm not

gonna get pregnant."

But you're wrong,

Hannah Montana.

Maybe there's no baby, but

sure enough, the condom rips,

and you get chlamydia...

God's punishment for

the sexually-active.

You gotta get a shot from

your judgmental pediatrician

who still wears

Mickey Mouse ties.

You better hope

that's all you get,

because, worse-case scenario,

you're pregnant and dead,

all because he stuck his

dick in some SAT tutor

before he shoved it in you.

That's gonna be $7.50.

You look like shit.

Say that about

my grandson again,

and you'll pay for it later.

Oh, yeah? Well, you look

like shit. Come here.

I am begging

you guys to stop.

Oh!

Also, Janine is relentless.

Put that damn

duck in the drawer

with the rest of 'em, will you?

Okay?

Yeah.

Your graduation is tomorrow.

- Oh my god, it is?

- Yeah,

and I think that it'd be

very nice if you went.

Yeah, but then I'd miss

the "Golden Girls" marathon.

Has it ever occurred to you

that we might want to go

and celebrate your

accomplishments,

however mediocre they might be?

No one's stopping you, Benny.

Enjoy it.

And try

and get some sleep!

You really do look like shit.

Thank you.

- Caleb Cohn?

- Yeah.

Good morning.

Nice to meet you, Mr. Cohn.

I'm Dr. Diaz.

So, what are we doing today?

Uh, an STD check?

Yeah, that's

kind of why I'm here.

I just wanna, like,

test the shit out of me

so all this can be over.

The condom broke.

Yeah, apparently it was expired

like a fucking avocado.

- When did that happen?

- Last Thursday night.

I went to this new biker

bar called The Ram Rod.

Met this Slavic guy

who knew every single Best

Actress winner since 1962,

so I had sex with him.

Okay.

He sent me a

message last night.

"Ahoj, Caleb.

"I tested HIV-positive Monday.

"Swear I not know.

"I'm sure you make joke on

this I no understand, bye.

Zander."

Well, you've come

to the right place.

We'll test you for all STDs and

have your HIV baseline today.

Then you can make

appointments to the front desk

to come back for

your HIV re-checks.

No, no need to re-check.

I am officially

celibate until death.

Right.

Look, today's test

won't determine whether

you contracted the virus

from this exposure.

The test looks for

HIV antibodies,

and they take time to develop.

In the meantime,

I run a support

group twice a week.

We'd be happy to have you.

Yeah, but, like, I

don't even know if I have it.

Well, it's not only

for people who are positive.

This is sort of a any queer

person who wants to talk

and eat free cookies

kind of group,

so it's for people in

your position, too.

Okay, and, um,

typically how long

does somebody in my

position have to wait

to know if they

have it for sure?

'Bout time, bitch.

I'm sorry.

What'd I miss?

Fuck if I know.

Fell asleep when Chloe

dedicated her diploma

to Jesus and Jeb Bush.

Gross.

Kristy Quinlon.

Did they

make it to the Vs?

Who cares if Dom

has walked yet? It's over.

All I ever wanted was

a boy to dry hump me

in the back of his dad's Prius,

and now that dream is dead.

- You're so dramatic.

- I'm in mourning.

You're always

mourning something.

First of all, rude.

Second of all, it's different.

It's Dom.

Sarah Stein.

Made these for you.

Oh, so Suzanne

didn't want them?

I don't know why she

keeps rejecting my quiche.

You know, it could be

because she's our boss?

Didn't stop her from

eating it last summer.

Look, I know this is hard,

but you gotta look

at the upside.

Now you get to sit on a

new face, a better face.

Andy Terasaki.

- Maybe I already did.

- Of course you already did!

Who's the guy?

His name was Zander.

He didn't speak a

word of English,

he was part Slav,

part, like, horse.

Was?

Yeah, he to fly back to

Belgrade a couple days ago.

He sent me a message.

Dom Valdez.

Sarah Valdez.

Caleb.

You're gonna be okay.

Am I?

People live with

this shit forever now.

Kinda feel like I live

with enough shit already.

Did you tell your grandma?

Why scare a woman who's

already lost her only son

when I can just, like, quietly

die alone on the inside?

And now once again, class

valedictorian Chloe Smith.

Congrats,

class of 2011.

We did it!

Hey.

So I spent the last couple of

days looking at... AIDS stuff.

Jesus, fuck, Dara!

Did your doctor

tell you about PEP?

He did not.

Well, it's this thing

that you take right after

you've been exposed, and it

can help get rid of AIDS.

Okay, but this says

you can only take it

up to three days

after having sex.

- It's been, like, a week.

- Isn't it work asking about?

Pride Center.

Yeah, hi, I'm

looking for Dr. Diaz.

Oh, he's not

available right now.

Please, it's a super-quick

life-or-death question.

If this is a medical

emergency,

please hang up and dial 911.

I can't, they

hate me over there.

He's upstairs

at his group meeting

if you want to come by.

- I gotta leave early.

- Okay.

Uhhh, ah.

Sorry I'm late.

I got stuck

with the principal!

Riley won't stop drawing

boobs on his homework.

He's obsessed.

I don't know where

he gets this from.

Caleb, can you help me

replace the slushee machine?

It's so heavy.

I can do it.

I've been lifting.

Okay.

Go! Go, you have to!

- Hi.

- You came.

What is PEP?

And how can I get on

it, like, right now?

Why don't we grab a coffee?

It's only effective within

three days of exposure.

And why did you not

tell me about that before?

Because I didn't want to

tell you about something

you couldn't use.

- It's been, like, a week.

- Caleb.

Maybe it'll still work.

Can we just, like...

Can we just, like, try, please?

Listen, I want you to

stay for group tonight.

You haven't lived

until you've tried

one of Lisha's donuts,

so do yourself a favor.

Oh, and we go to karaoke after.

All right, guys,

let's bring it in.

Welcome to "The Young

and The Sexless."

Jim, you're up.

Hi, I'm Jim, and I'm

married to Dr. Oz.

Well, I've been positive...

I saw that.

Would you like a prize?

Not if it's one

of those donuts.

...their lives and their

sex lives

aren't over after diagnosis.

Anywho,

once we found out,

we did all the right things

to ensure that

Adrian was protected.

Undetectable means

untransmittable.

Both, uh, true fact

and the title of

my upcoming memoir.

How about you?

You care to share?

Okay, um, well, I'm Caleb.

I, um... I'm here

because a condom broke.

The guy had HIV, and now

I'm waiting to find out

if I do, too. Oldest story in...

...book or something.

Uh, I'm supposed to

go to Parsons,

but their tuition

costs as much as

a small chain of

islands, so, we'll see.

Oh, and I work at the

mini-mart on 72nd,

so, slushee

discounts all around.

That's great.

Thank you, Caleb.

And Estha?

Hi. Um, my name's Estha,

and, uh, I'm also waiting.

♪ All through the night ♪

♪ Stray cat is crying ♪

♪ So stray cat sings back ♪

♪ All through the night ♪

♪ They have forgotten

what by day they lack ♪

♪ Under those white

street lamps ♪

♪ There is a little chance ♪

Hey, it's Estha, right?

I brought you a karaoke book.

I don't know if you

already have one,

but I thought you might need

one if you wanted to sing?

I don't do

karaoke, I'm tone-deaf.

If only that stopped

everyone, right?

♪ And once we start,

the meter clicks ♪

♪ And it goes running ♪

Maybe you should

sing something.

Oh, no, no.

No, the last time I did karaoke,

I totally butchered my

favorite Bowie song,

and I still feel the shame.

Who's that?

Bowie.

Like, David Bowie.

Like, Ziggy Stardust.

Kinda looks like a man,

kinda looks like an alien,

kinda looks like something

you'd want to avoid

in a dark basement.

Nope.

Do you live under

a rock or something?

No, I'm from India.

Plenty of rocks in India.

Sorry?

Okay, well, what

would you sing

if you had to sing something?

Out of American music?

Sure.

Probably Taylor Swift.

Oh my god, you're serious.

What? Sometimes I feel like

she steals my journal

and writes about my life.

Is her next crossover

hit gonna be called,

"This Is What I Get

For Riding Bareback?"

Let's hope not.

♪ Until it ends ♪

♪ There is no end ♪♪

It was

cool to meet you.

It's good

to meet you too.

Did you, um... did

you drive here?

No, I, uh, took the bus.

I have to, uh, ask my

parents' permission

to use their car

specifically for my friends.

Yeah, yeah, I haven't

told my grandma either.

It's just easier since

they don't know about

the whole gay thing.

Do you want a ride?

I have a tandem bike.

That means two people can...

I know what a tandem bike is.

You didn't know Bowie, so,

like, I didn't want to assume.

I, uh... I live a

couple miles away.

That's okay.

Uh, you can help me pedal.

Okay.

Cool. Um, I parked

in this creepy side alley.

Don't worry,

I'm not gonna murder you.

You say very strange things.

I get that a lot.

How's it going back there?

I'm afraid you're gonna crash.

It's my dad's bike.

I can ride with my eyes closed.

Yeah, I really

rather you didn't.

Noted.

So when did you start

going to those meetings?

About three weeks ago.

It's nice to talk

to people, so...

Watch out for the pothole.

Sure.

Well, how'd you get into this

mess in the first place?

Last year my parents

started introducing me

to their friends' daughters,

and every time I say no,

there'd be another one waiting.

Assembly line dating?

Yeah, my mom did the

exact same thing.

Is she conservative?

Oh, she's Jewish.

Orthodox Jewish.

Yeah, mentally and emotionally,

she's stuck in a shtetl in 1805.

You can stop here.

So this is you, huh?

It's cool. You got a great lawn.

Says a lot about a person.

Hmm, look at those

really nice bushes.

Perfectly trimmed, A-plus.

Actually, I live

down the street,

but I'll just walk.

Do I give off, like,

a serial killer

vibe or something?

No, but my dad stays up late,

and I didn't want him seeing

a white boy drop me off

on a gay two-man bike.

Might raise some questions.

Got it.

You seem nervous.

No, I get, uh,

a little too talkative

around guys sometimes.

It's, like, I ask

a lot of questions.

It's the thing that I do

that I might be working on.

I meant about

what's happening.

The waiting.

Um, yeah.

Yeah, sleeping's hard.

That was very embarrassing,

by the way, when I implied that

I get nervous around

you for being a guy.

If you can't sleep,

you can call me.

Sometimes I can't sleep either,

and, uh, don't really have

anybody to talk to.

Are you writing your

number on a Subway coupon?

You can type it in my phone.

Are you going to

the next meeting?

Shh.

Should I take that as a yes?

This is

the true story...

True story...

Of seven strangers...

Picked to

live in a house...

And have

their lives taped...

Oh, Lucy, I'm home.

To find

out what happens...

When people

stop being polite...

And start getting real.

"The Real World:

San Francisco."

I used to

go around to schools

and I speak about HIV and AIDS.

I'm HIV-positive.

When Pedro told

me he was HIV-positive,

it was just, like,

"No, not him."

I like this guy,

and I don't want him

to have to suffer.

I had an incredible time

talking to him on the train.

Have you, uh,

been in a relationship?

The longest relationship

I ever had is a year and a half.

And, I don't know.

I don't think I've ever...

I don't really think

I've ever been in love.

I get very

twisted, and, uh...

What did you do

down there?

What did you do for a living?

...I'm still pretty

uncertain about, you know,

meeting five people,

and I don't know how they

going to feel about me

being HIV-positive.

Look at

your phone, bitch!

Look at

your phone, bitch!

Look at

your phone, bitch!

Hey, it's the Pride

Center calling for Caleb Cohn.

Dr. Diaz would like you to

stop by the clinic today.

Okay, thanks.

Caleb,

Dara's waiting for you!

Oh, the Orion Condominium.

Hmm, it's got a kosher

deli in the lobby.

Mm-hmm.

But 25% off on

Thursdays for the residents.

And you want me to turn

in my home for a coupon?

I would. Their noodle kugel

is next level.

The food here is good, too.

See? There he is!

Hey, tell me something.

Which one would you choose

for your grandmother

to live in with me?

- Um...

- Don't distract him.

He's got enough on his mind

without worrying about

what nursing home

we should die in.

Well, technically,

it's not a nursing home.

It's a luxury condominium.

I promise I'll stop talking now.

Okay, as

lovely as this has been,

um, we should go.

You should have some

coffee before you leave

because you look exhausted.

These compliments so early.

Thank you.

Thanks for the fish!

Does he seem different to you?

When does he not

seem different?

- We're gonna be late for work.

- Oh, I'm not going to work.

- What?

- Yeah.

I am truly devastated to report

that I have to go

back to the clinic.

Again? Why?

I don't know, so, naturally,

I'm assuming the worst.

All right, well,

I guess I'll do

inventory by myself then.

You're the messiah!

Owe you forever, love you, bye!

Am I gonna die?

Do you have any

plans to kill yourself?

Not at the moment.

Then

you're not gonna die.

I will not let the anal

gonorrhea take you down.

The fuck? Is that worse

than normal gonorrhea?

No, it's

just on the anus.

- You mean my butt?

- I'm a doctor, I mean anus.

Okay, but I don't

have any symptoms.

Any soreness?

I guess, but

I just thought was from,

like, getting railed.

We'll take care of

the infection today.

But you should know that

the presence of gonorrhea

can help the contraction of HIV.

Are you allergic to any

medications, like penicillin?

I don't think so.

All right.

Now, hop off the

table and bend over.

Story of my life.

So this should take care of it?

Yep, penicillin is great.

Alexander Fleming

discovered it in the '20s.

Good for her.

He left his lab

a mess over the weekend.

When he got back, a weird fungus

had grown in a petri dish.

From that fungus,

we have penicillin.

Sounds disgusting.

Yeah,

but it's amazing

what you can discover

after life gets fucked up.

Dara?

Are you out back?

You will not believe

the size of the...

- Pull up your pants!

- I'm trying!

- Try harder!

- I'm trying harder!

Stop yelling at me!

Hi. Do you wanna know the

craziest thing about doors?

You can lock them.

Fuck, man, she's so mad.

If anyone asks, you

didn't see anything.

I am literally trying to unsee

that as we speak.

I thought she didn't

want to eat your quiche.

Oh, remember when

I covered for you?

We got to talking,

and things started to happen,

and it was like...

It is bad enough that I'm

responsible for my own mistakes.

Do not make me responsible

for yours, too.

Caleb?

Uh...

You're not gonna say anything.

You saw nothing.

No, promise me.

Caleb, say it!

Say it!

Promise me!

You rang?

Sit.

Um, look, I'm having

such a shitty week, okay?

Henry still hasn't found a job,

I'm doing double duty with

the fucking kids at home.

My dog got scabies

again at the dog park.

My mother-in-law is visiting.

I...

I'm really not happy.

You looked pretty happy

a couple minutes ago.

- You know what?

- What?

- I don't like your tone.

- Mm-hmm.

And I really don't like seeing

security camera footage of you

fucking around

and leaving early.

I'm trying to run a business...

a profitable,

respectable business!

You're right,

this is a mini-mart.

It's very serious. We sell,

what, 10 types of Funyuns

and, like, a pickle in a sack?

You know what,

don't fucking test me!

I could fire you!

Okay, Suzanne,

I can't lose this job.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

I need the minimum

wage that you pay me.

Really?

Yeah, so, it won't

happen again, I swear.

I'm sorry?

It won't

happen again, I swear.

Fine.

Cool.

Can we also just agree that

what happens in

here stays in here?

Do you mean what happened here

and, like, here,

and, like, here?

Yeah, all of

it, and over there, right.

Mm-hmm, yeah, no.

Secret's safe with me.

- You promise?

- Sure.

- Can I leave now?

- Please.

Thanks.

Oh.

You could be a little

nicer to her, you know?

So could you.

You're

off by two cents.

Go.

Just go.

- Well?

- I can't believe you like her.

She's, like, at least

five kinds of evil?

Does she hate me?

Hating you is

statistically possible,

and I have the math to prove it.

Yeah, you failed math. Twice.

This is a different

type of math.

This is gay math.

Oh, some kid came

in looking for you?

He bought kettle corn.

I think he's still outside.

Are you hooking up with him?

Gonna be right back.

You do know that popcorn isn't

the only food group, right?

Jim's having a

cabaret show tomorrow.

Do you wanna go?

It depends.

Are you asking me out?

Depends what you'd say.

- Maybe?

- Then maybe.

I don't get off until eight.

Show starts at nine.

- So just pick you up from here?

- I'll meet you there.

Okay, cool.

Is she your friend?

Yeah, she's kind

of my only one.

I figured.

How?

You both say very

strange things.

Do you feel like

closing early tonight?

Dara!

Dara!

Whoa!

Wow, a vicious read.

Make it up to me

with a close party.

I'm not feeling

so hot right now.

That sounds like

a perfect excuse

to shut this place down

and get absolutely blasted.

There's only 15 minutes left.

We should at least wait.

You're right, we should.

♪ I don't need a doctor ♪

♪ Just a simple look or garter ♪

♪ To slide to my

side so civilly ♪

♪ No talk of commitment ♪

♪ When I receive a shipment ♪

♪ Oh, I need express delivery ♪

♪ Any which way, any which way ♪

♪ You better take me

any which way you can ♪

♪ Any which way,

any which way ♪

♪ You better take me

any which way you can ♪

♪ You know, baby ♪

♪ When I was taking my pantyhose

out of their egg this evening ♪

♪ I thought, I'm gonna

find that man that has ♪

♪ The right shade

of bottled tan ♪

♪ A man that smells like

cocoa butter and cash ♪

♪ Take me anyway you like it ♪

♪ In front of the fireplace ♪

♪ In front of your yacht ♪

♪ In front of my parents ♪

♪ I don't give a damn,

baby, just take me ♪

♪ Any which way, any which way ♪

♪ Any which way you can ♪

♪ Any which way, any which way ♪

♪ Any which way you can ♪

♪ Any which way, any which way ♪

♪ Any which way you can ♪

♪ Any which way,

any which way you can ♪♪

What's wrong?

Are you gonna vomit too?

Mm-mm.

- Okay.

- Maybe.

You think we'll ever find

other people to do this with?

Why do we need other people?

No, like...

like a boyfriend or a girlfriend

or maybe somebody in-between.

Like, somebody who

wants to do dumb shit

who also wants to make out.

- Oh.

- Mm.

Yeah.

For sure.

What if that's

harder for me now?

It won't be.

Yeah, but what if it is?

No.

It won't be.

And until then,

you got me, bitch.

Everything about

my life is uncertain.

I'm totally stressed out

because of my health,

and I'm totally stressed

out because of work,

and I don't know

what I want to do.

Just call me and tell me.

That's the only thing

I've ever asked for.

Hey, Caleb?

Can I run something by you?

Totally.

Okay,

how's this sound?

"When I first started teaching

here back in the late 1800s"...

Pause for laughs.

"The only gender studies

course was worth half a credit

and met in what is now

the woman's bathroom."

Okay, Joan Rivers,

is this a guest lecture

or an HBO special?

Grandma?

You good?

Yeah, yeah, less

Joan Rivers, got it.

Thanks a lot, honey.

Look at

your phone, bitch!

And when a hot redhead

walks down the street,

do you also imagine

God knocking over

a bottle of Sriracha?

Well, I think

it's time for a song.

This is a special request

from an audience member

in the third row.

Everyone wave hi to Estha!

♪ Ground control

to Major Tom ♪

♪ Ground control to Major Tom ♪

♪ Take your protein pills

and put your helmet on ♪

Can you earn a living

from taking photographs?

Isn't very practical.

Practicality is very 2010.

I was gonna go to

college in New York,

take a bunch of photos,

overdose on ramen.

How about you?

Where you going next year?

Georgia Tech.

Atlanta.

Fancy.

You're excited?

It's hard to think of

anything past this summer.

Do you ever, like,

wonder what you would do

- if the test came back...

- No.

I try not to.

Yeah, uh, me either.

I mean, I know you're

supposed to be fine

if you take all the

shit you're supposed to.

At this point, you'd have worse

luck with cancer, but, like...

Still kinda wish it

was something else.

Like, anything else.

You'd rather have cancer?

I don't know

about that, but, um...

Yeah, I just... at least then

I wouldn't feel like it was...

Your fault.

Anyways, are you, um...

are you gonna go to sleep

- when you get home, or...

- Am I going home?

Are we gonna get in trouble?

It's always a possibility.

Is this your temple?

Yeah, it used to be.

What happened?

Um, the artist formerly known

as my mother married the rabbi,

and they're assholes,

so I stopped going.

You really shouldn't

talk about her like that.

She's still your mom.

Yeah, but, like,

moms aren't supposed to forget

to pick you up

from band practice right after

your dad died

'cause she's too busy

trying to find a new husband.

Moms aren't supposed

to make you move in

with your grandma because

your big old gay lifestyle

doesn't sit too well

with the rabbi's mezuzah.

Moms aren't supposed

to treat you

like a total and

complete stranger.

What's a mezuzah?

It's like this thing

you nail to your house.

It's got the Bible in it.

Come on, this jungle gym

is gonna blow your mind.

I lost two teeth falling

off of this jungle gym.

Tooth fairy was supposed

to give me 20 bucks.

Instead, I got two carrots

and a pack of Chiclets.

- That's upsetting?

- No, it was pretty funny.

My dad did dumb shit

like that all the time.

Um, I had my first

kiss under this bridge

with Jordan Stein.

Jordan smelled like applesauce.

Needless to say, I was smitten.

- What happened to him?

- Jordan was a girl.

I meant your dad.

Oh.

Um, he had a heart attack.

I once peed down this slide.

Okay, I'm lying.

I peed down this slide a lot.

That must've been hard.

No, I've got awesome pee aim.

I was talking about your dad.

I know.

When did he, uh...

We should take cover.

I think it's gonna rain.

I think I'm sitting

on a spider.

It's a playground

rite of passage.

I think you're gonna be fine.

I can't believe

this is outside the place

where you pray.

Yep, there's a

sanctuary in there.

It's also a catering

hall and a preschool.

We're nothing if not

an economical people.

Do you like being Jewish?

It's a loaded question.

Um, leaning toward yes.

There's, like, six

types of Jewish people,

and I wanna say two

are pretty fierce.

Do you like being Hindu?

Who said I was Hindu?

Oh my god, I'm so sorry...

I'm just kidding.

I'm Hindu.

I, uh...

It's getting late.

- Where you going?

- Work.

Where you really going?

I'm gonna go do some

drugs, graffiti buildings,

- TP the principal's house.

- Caleb.

Benny, could we

not do this now, please?

"The Young and The Sexless?"

- Where did you find that?

- On the floor.

I'm doing a photo project.

Gay men in crisis, the pos

community, homeless youth,

those who can't dress

for their body type.

- You're lying.

- I'm not lying.

Are you gonna tell her?

Or am I?

You know, this is actually

none of your business.

Excuse me?

We both know

that you only pretend

to give a shit about me

because you have to... for her.

Do you know me?

Have we met?

Now I've spent the last

15 years of my life

taking you out for

sleepovers and band practice

and off the floor

because your daddy died.

I could be buying pina coladas

and the daiquiris,

some loose poker, but I

decided to spend it on you,

because we do belong together.

If you don't tell her, I will,

because you're just a kid.

You shouldn't do this alone.

Caleb?

What's new with you?

Oh, I've been amazing.

Things have been

looking up for me.

Um, my job is awesome.

I had a conversation

with my boss.

We're gonna take things to the

next level professionally.

I'm very excited about that.

Kinda Zen about the whole thing.

I think it's this new

sleep regiment I'm on.

Also, I've been riding

my bike everywhere,

so I'm like... like

saving the planet

and engaging my core

at the same time.

That's great, Caleb.

- Did you just get here?

- Unfortunately.

Dude, I called you,

like, twice this morning.

Yeah, I woke up late.

Suzanne here?

No, she's with that penis.

Thank God.

How are you?

Alive.

I get test results tomorrow.

Alright?

Wanna hang?

Help take your mind off of it?

I'm supposed to work,

but it's not like

anyone needs me here.

I'm good, don't worry.

I'm not worried,

I just thought you

might want some company.

I have plans.

With who?

A friend.

What friend?

Wow, this place is

definitely a... choice.

Where is everybody?

We close down

Monday for cleaning.

We?

You're not the

only one with a job.

Everything you see can be

yours for the next 42 minutes.

You're full of surprises.

I thought a little escape

might help you calm down.

Unless the rides

are made of Xanax,

- I don't think that's possible.

- Can you just relax?

For me?

Welcome to the popcorn stand.

Would you like it

sweet or salty?

Every single question

I've ever had about you

has just been answered.

They say if

you do what you love,

you never work a

day in your life.

Okay, but

I'm almost positive

they didn't mean popping corn.

That's where you're wrong.

It's the best.

Back home, we used to go to

the American movie

theater on Sundays.

I'd be excited to go all week.

They played the classics like

"Breakfast at Tiffany's"

or "A Star is Born" or...

- Oh, which version?

- There's more than one?

Okay, I'm gonna

pretend you're joking.

It didn't matter what

the movie was anyway.

It just would take

me out of my head.

Anytime I felt depressed,

I'd, uh, go back into my pockets

and take the leftover

popcorn and eat it,

and I was back watching

Holly Golightly and her cat.

Now you can get out of

your head whenever you want,

so maybe try eating a vegetable.

I still like eating it.

It helps me not be...

Sad?

Present.

What next?

Go!

Tom?

Can you operate the

drop for me and my...

me and my cousin?

Where are you going?

It's stuck!

Gotta call maintenance.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Dara?

Caleb tells me

you're a great cook.

What do you like to make?

Food.

I make food.

Thank God.

- Happy to see me?

- What's the verdict?

Your 30-day antibody

test came back negative.

So far, so good, right?

So far.

I will see you back here

on day 60 and day 90.

Thanks for coming

with me today.

- Duh.

- Sure.

Oh, shit, I never thought

I'd need a third seat.

Let's take the bus.

The bus is cool.

No, it's chill. Um, I told

Suzanne I'd help her out

at the store in an hour.

Ew. You don't work today.

I don't know. She asked

if I wanted overtime, so...

Okay, don't do

anything I wouldn't do,

so don't do anything.

Hey.

Look, Benny, I know

I've been a dick lately,

and I just wanted to

say I'm really sorry.

It's, like, a lot for

me, and I don't know how

I'm gonna tell her, but...

Tell her what?

Well, somebody

better say something.

Somebody, anybody,

before I burn this

house to the ground.

What?

What's going on?

Okay, okay, um...

Lately, I've been going

through this thing.

I met a guy after Don

dumped me and we, you know,

and the condom ripped and

it turns out he has HIV.

But I don't know if I have it.

I don't think I have it.

I might not have it, you know,

and I have to wait until

the end of summer

to find out if I do.

And that's why I've been

kind of a bitch lately.

Can you please say something?

Why didn't you tell me sooner?

I didn't want to freak

you out after everything.

Benny tried to get me

to tell you, but, like,

I couldn't.

You could never

freak me out, Caleb,

although you sure

keep trying to.

Well, it's

just, like, I mean,

telling you just makes

the whole thing feel real,

and I was just totally

hoping it would be imaginary.

The only thing that's

real is this right here,

you and me, no?

Now give me a hug.

Okay, I can't breathe.

Grandma?

If you ever hide

anything like this

from me again,

you won't have to worry

about getting sick

because I will throttle

you with my bare hands,

you understand what

I'm saying to you?

Yes.

Good.

Hey. Everything okay?

Yes. Why are we whispering?

I'm at home.

Oh, okay, cool.

What's up?

Um...

I told her.

Told her what?

My grandma. About everything.

How did it go?

Yeah, I mean,

considering I felt that

the news might kill

her, it was pretty okay.

- You're lucky.

- Am I on speaker?

I can't hear you

over the Kidz Bop.

I said,

okay, that's great.

I, uh... I can't talk now.

I'll see you tonight.

Did you not

want to tell me because

you knew it'd be even harder

for me to sell this place?

I know you're

upset about Caleb.

No, no, I'm not

upset about Caleb!

I'm furious with you,

asshole, for lying to me!

Caleb is fine. He's just...

He's going to be fine.

He's gonna be fine.

He's gonna be fine. He's...

He's gonna be fine.

Caleb? You with us?

Feels like all

I do is worry her.

After my dad died,

she convinced herself that

she's responsible for me,

and she feels guilty

that I ended up here,

which makes me feel even

guiltier than I already did.

Being Jewish is really

hard, basically.

You did the right thing.

It's good to have someone

to talk to at home.

And, Estha?

How are things going with you?

Um, they've been better.

I, um...

I, um, find out soon,

and every hour feels like a day.

I...

I still don't know what

my dad will do if, uh...

I'm everything to them, the...

perfect son, the one they to

talk to their friends about,

the salutatorian,

the one that they scram out

to lunch every single Sunday.

They love the son

I let them see.

But then there's this

other part of me, right...

the part I keep hidden...

and I keep trying so hard

to be perfect because

I think they'd hate

that other part of me.

But if I do end up having this,

I know I'll have to tell them.

I just don't wanna

be here anymore.

I, uh... I'll go back.

I'd even go forward. It's here.

Here is where I'm having an

issue, where I can't even

watch the TV with my parents

without them thinking that

they know it's there, that

they can smell it on me.

Smell what on you?

Shame.

Look at

your phone, bitch!

Hi.

Happy Fourth, fool.

Are we gonna stoned

and watch "Spiders From Mars"

like last year? I can score some

environmentally-friendly

fireworks.

No, I can't, I'm sorry.

There's something I have to do.

- You with that kid again?

- His name is Estha.

All right, whatever.

I gotta tell you something

about Suzanne later, though.

Why? What happened?

She said she loved me.

That she fucking loved me.

Sorry, somebody's

gotta make a living

in this family right now!

Yeah, that's why she

asked me to work overtime.

After we hooked up,

she couldn't stop thinking

about me. How sick is that?

Dara, I really

gotta go, I'm sorry.

- I'll call you back later.

- Well...

Are you ready to go?

Where?

So these are the fireworks?

Hey, it's the best I could do.

Ooh!

Big, scary, ooh!

Thanks

for kidnapping me.

I'm a surprisingly

good kidnapper.

Feel like I should be

more alarmed by that.

I live so close to

the beach, but I never come.

Hm, congrats.

You're officially

a true Floridian.

Come on, being from

Florida isn't that bad.

It's gonna be okay, you know.

You know it's not.

You know everything could

change after tomorrow.

Do you know who

Pedro Zamora is?

I don't know any of the

people you talk about.

Right.

Well, basically, there was,

um, this TV show in the '90s

called "The Real

World: San Francisco."

Seven complete strangers

move into a

poorly-decorated brownstone

and annoy the shit

out of each other.

Pedro is one of those people.

He was from here, actually.

He also was openly pos,

which was, like,

brutal at the time.

And no matter how much his

dumb roommate talked shit,

he still managed to be

the smartest, funniest,

finest motherfucker in the room.

Did he make it?

No.

But we will.

I don't want to live

with something that makes

everyone in my life leave me.

I won't leave you.

Isn't your grandma

gonna hear us?

What, no, she

can't hear anything.

Um, we can be quiet,

though, just in case.

Should I?

If you feel like

if you want to.

- Caleb, this is bad.

- What?

This is fucking awesome.

Yeah, I know, but,

we can't have sex.

Define sex.

- What are you doing?

- Relax.

Oh, salty.

Those are gonna be a

bitch to clean tomorrow.

Caleb.

What are gonna do about this?

What?

This.

Um...

I feel like

he's watching us.

He is.

But it's nothing he

hasn't seen before.

Your parents gonna

wonder where you are?

I don't care anymore.

I'll come with you

tomorrow if you want.

I'm pretty good company.

By that I mean I

will bring drugs.

I'd rather go alone.

Just don't know

what I'll do if...

You'll take the medication,

and you'll be fine.

I don't think I'll make it.

I think I'd just

rather not be here.

Don't say shit like that.

It's not something

you joke about.

Oh, you're one to talk.

Have you ever lost anyone?

No.

Okay, well, with

all due respect,

you have no idea what it's like.

Death is not, like, some

freedom from sadness

or your parents or AIDS.

It's no more bike rides,

it's no more movie nights,

it's no more board games.

It's...

It's just nothing.

Don't leave the people

who love you with nothing.

If you love me, you

won't love me anymore.

I'll ask you not

to speak for me. Thanks.

Where's Suzanne?

She left.

Yeah, something about

a dog having worms,

or worms having a dog, I don't

know. It sounded really gross.

Where is she?

Hm, I just told you, sir, she

left. I mean, She's no longer...

...here.

Oh, oops, my bad!

Um, that's for

employees only back there.

- Move.

- No.

- Move.

- No!

- Harry!

- What the fuck, Suzanne?

Look, Harry, it's

not... just please calm down.

It's not what you think.

She was helping me...

Helping you what?

Find your tits?

Yeah, I was helping her find

my tits! No, I, we were...

- She's a kid!

- She's not a kid!

- Actually, I'm 18.

- She's 18!

She's not a kid!

What am I

gonna tell Riley?

Riley? Why do you

have to tell Riley anything?

This is between you and me!

This is nothing!

Okay, it's nothing.

It's really just a stupid, big

fat nothing! There's nothing.

Ah, uh, we're...

We're done.

Henry.

I'm sorry, I...

Henry!

Come back!

Hoo!

That was fucking crazy.

Yeah.

She left.

Can't believe she left.

Dude, her

fucking husband

just almost Scott Petersoned me.

Are you okay?

Oh, so now you give

a shit about my life?

Because it's suddenly

dramatic enough for you?

What the fuck is your problem?

- My problem?

- Yeah.

Caleb, what the

hell is your problem?

Banging weird dudes and

ditching me for that loser?

Okay, Dara?

Take a second,

and can you stop, like,

pretending to understand

the shitstorm that's become

my life, because you don't.

But I wanted to, Caleb.

But you don't give a shit.

So, I'm done.

Yeah, if you want to be sick

with someone else, fine.

Go be sick with someone else.

Negative again.

Oh, fuck.

Can that just be it?

Like, do I really have

to wait another month?

I'm telling you,

you're going to be okay.

Hey, this is Taylor,

calling you for the

five millionth time

to let you know that I've

written a song about you.

It's called "Pick up

the phone, bitch."

Hey. I just wanna know...

This mailbox is full

and cannot accept any messages

at this time. Good-bye.

Um, I'm gonna

head out for a bit.

Oh, you know, Benny's

gonna be out late tonight.

He's playing poker.

I thought it would

be a good time for us

to put your portfolio together.

Yeah, I'm not doing

the portfolio any more.

Why not?

Because I don't

want to, because I suck.

Also, I don't think

I wanna go anymore.

Oh, wait just a minute here.

Stay right there.

Now this is your dream school.

You're going.

I'm not going.

Oh, I'm not

gonna let you do this.

I'm not gonna let you throw

away everything you worked for!

Okay, just because

you couldn't save Dad

doesn't mean you have

to try and save me.

That's not fair.

I know we're not allowed to

talk about him, but that's true.

Have you

thought at all about

what this is like for me,

who's responsible for you?

I can't talk about your

father because it'd kill me.

And then who would be

here to take care of you?

I'm sorry you

got stuck with me.

Consider yourself free, okay?

Caleb!

You need to leave.

Oh, it's good to

see you too, you fuck!

- Open the window.

- I can't talk right now.

Open the window, or I'll

scream my fucking face off.

You're alive. That's cool.

Um, where the hell

have you been?

Didn't return any

of my calls, and...

I told you I was gonna

be there no matter what.

Negative, positive,

I don't care.

You should leave.

What? I'll be quiet.

Your parents, they won't

even know I'm here.

Caleb?

Okay, I don't care

if you're positive.

I'm not positive.

You're not positive?

That's fucking amazing news!

You're not positive?

We gotta go party!

We gotta get fucking wasted!

Caleb, you should go.

What's going on?

Listen.

You've been a good

friend to me this summer.

Good friend?

But, uh, now I have to

focus on the fall and school,

and, uh, this thing will

have to be behind me.

This thing?

This thing?

So, wait, you didn't

try to kill yourself?

You're just, like... you're

just, like, ignoring me.

Why is that so much worse?

Is it 'cause you're fine?

And maybe I'm not fine?

Caleb.

I'm just a

distraction for you.

- What?

- Yeah, yeah.

Just like a nice

way to pass the time

until you go to

your perfect college

with your perfect friends and

your perfect fucking future...

Caleb. Can't stay

in the summer forever.

I can't, okay? I'm sorry.

Estha! What is going on

in there?

Just watching a movie!

Go.

Oh, and fuck you for

making me like Taylor Swift.

Hi.

So, how are you?

Good.

How's your grandmother?

She's still alive.

Yeah, you could call her.

Yeah, I've been busy.

With, um...

Beth El's Sisterhood.

You want something to drink?

Yes, please.

You used to like those.

- Hey, where's Aaron?

- He's working late.

You look terrible.

Thank you.

Want me to give

you a ride back home?

I mean, sorry, to

your grandmother's?

The house is different.

I did some redecorating.

It's very cool.

Where'd you put his stuff?

Can I have this?

Yeah, sure.

I ride his bike.

I know.

Come on, it's time to go.

Hey, it's okay.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

It's okay.

It's okay, Seth. It's okay.

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Can I hold him?

I'll be careful, I promise.

Please?

Please?

All right, sit down.

Sit down first.

Be careful.

You have to hold his head.

- You got him?

- Mm-hmm.

Think he likes you.

Hey, little guy.

Your fingers look

like baby shrimp.

Definitely not kosher.

Hey, Mom?

I'm not doing good.

No, you're doing fine.

He's not fussing.

No, like, I'm... not

doing very good.

What do you mean?

What's wrong?

Okay, so... I got dumped,

and I've been working

really hard at school...

- I know.

- And...

I did something stupid because

I've been sad.

He was a complete stranger,

and I kinda liked that.

Like, I kinda...

I liked that he didn't know me,

and I was really, really drunk.

And I guess the condom

was old or something.

Give him to me.

No, Mom.

Please.

You need to go.

You need to go now.

Mom, please,

don't make me leave.

Fuck!

Fucking, fucking,

fucking, fucking, fuck!

Are you okay?

Caleb?

Oh, god.

What happened?

Everyone leaves me.

- That's not true.

- It is.

Dom, Estha, Dad, her.

Everyone.

I don't know what an Estha is,

but your dad did not

want to leave you, Caleb.

That's only

'cause he didn't know

this version of me, the one

with the fucked-up blood.

Oh, your father

would've gone to war for you.

He always knew

exactly what you were,

and he loved you for it.

Oh, I hate myself for not

reminding you of that

every single day,

and it's just so hard

for me to talk about him.

Yeah, and I don't want

to make things harder for you.

I'm not gonna hold you back.

- You're not holding me back.

- I am.

From selling the

house, from moving.

Oh, listen, I don't wanna

sell this house because...

your father had his first

haircut in that bathroom.

He learned to play the

guitar in that chair.

And I just don't know

how to let him go.

It's got nothing to do with you.

You're gonna have

a wonderful life,

no matter what that test says,

and I can't wait to see it.

Yeah, how do you know?

I have lived through

two husbands, seven wars...

and five revivals of "Oklahoma!"

I've seen it all.

And, baby, you are

one in a billion.

You're my grandson.

You got my blood in you too,

and don't you ever forget it.

For that reason alone,

you will do great things.

You will find great love.

And if you're anything like me,

you'll find it more than once.

When?

I'm so tired of waiting.

I know, honey, but...

waiting doesn't

mean you shut down.

It doesn't mean you turn

yourself into the kind of person

that lets the world

decide who you are

and what you can do.

You fight for what you want.

You fight for what you deserve.

I mean, you wait,

but you wait with you

fucking fist in the air.

That's my boy.

I'm not really

sure how I'm feeling,

and I think that's okay.

Um, at this point, I'm

just, like, ready to know

and move on with my life.

And I knew that I

was gonna be in love in him,

that I was gonna fall

in love with him.

It is a lot easier for

me to face my own fears

and face the uncertainty

of my own life

knowing that he's there.

So I love you.

Hey, sorry, um...

I know things are

kind of weird, but...

Can I see you?

Estha! You're going

to miss your flight. Let's go!

All we ever

talked about

was getting out

of this shithole!

Kinda surprised you

asked to meet me here.

Well, it's so much more

tolerable when nobody's around.

I got you something.

Is this quiche?

I hope so.

Is it good?

No!

Dara.

I'm really fucking sorry.

You're my best friend

and I fucked up.

I'm really sorry, too.

I quit right after it happened.

Good for you.

She had a loose pussy, anyway.

Thank you for that.

- I finally got a line cook job!

- That's amazing!

- At Applebee's.

- Less amazing.

- But you gotta start somewhere.

- I guess.

I leave for New York

in, like, like a week.

Have you packed already?

Do I really need

to answer that question?

So I get my final

results tomorrow,

and I wanted to see if

you wanna come with?

Yeah, sure, um.

I'll roll some Js for the road.

I don't know how you always

know what to say. It's crazy.

You're not gonna

make me eat one.

Gross!

How did I create that?

So, I scheduled a

walk-through at that condo

on Hollywood Beach, the Orion.

Now, before you

get all cute on me,

I have certain conditions.

- Naturally.

- I live above the 10th floor.

Mm-hmm.

I will have

an oceanfront view.

- Mm!

- Oh!

And I will not eat in that

deli more than once a week.

- Done.

- Do you think

the resident discount

is transferable?

Not transferable.

Orion! Wow.

How you feeling

about tomorrow?

Try not to think about it.

You're doing well

'cause you do a lot of things,

but you don't think about it.

- What? He's funny!

- Not that funny.

He's jealous,

'cause you're not funny.

Cohn, Caleb?

Oh, um, I saw

a flier at the center

for a lesbian craft

night tonight. You wanna...

You wanna go?

Okay, but there

won't be boys there.

Yeah, from this

moment, truly a blessing.

Um, sure, yeah.

But only if you really feel up

to it. No pressure.

No, I know, we can finally

bag you a single lady.

I heard the craft night is

packed with eligible bottoms.

Aren't I a bottom?

You're a top.

Yeah.