Three Men and a Leg (1997) - full transcript

Give me the key, marron glac?.

Three...

two,one...

How does he do that?

Did he learn to speak telephone-language?

The orders have changed.

The target is two hours late.

Damned, everytime we have to kill someone...

we get canceled.

-Kill someone?

Weren't we supposed to blow up some place?

-That's tomorrow.

Why am I always the last to hear everything?

It's all your fault, you drunk.

Who are we going to kill.

You took this from the back

I can't trust anybody.

Especially you. You I don't trust.

Turn it around.

-That's the guy?

Gotta remember.

-Get to work. Set up the gun.

Don't hurt yourself now.

Help me out here, you lazy bum.

I'm going to chop you to pieces.

I'll read the instructions.

Goodday

-Goodday

Compliments on your purchase

-Thank you.

Fold out the tripod onto the ground.

Turn bolt A with the Philips screwdriver.

Place the pin in ridge C.

Put hook B in the appropriate niche.

Secure the handle by pressing firm at the underside.

Insert the barrel of the gun into the conductor...

which is now set at the right height.

Now insert...

-Do it yourself.

What a day, damnit, we would have blown up that place long by now.

I'm in this business for my rest.

You ruin it for me.

Let's see...

Goodday.

Compliments on your purchase.

Fold out the tripod...

-Done

Turn bolt A...

-Done.

Place the pin...

-Done.

Put hook B...

-Done, done, done.

Secure...

-Done

Keep away from small children.

Man, it's hot.

When are they going to call?

We've been waiting for two hours now.

I'm getting nervous and that's not good.

I'm getting nervous and that's not good.

Relax, John. That asshole isn't getting worked up either.

He'll be the death of us.

But I'll kill him before that.

I'll help you.

-What have you got here?

A red spot. A hicky.

Is it very obvious?

-Very.

Who gave you that?

-Betty.

I know her?

-She was at Frank's party.

She dropped a glass.

-The tall blonde one?

With a ponytail.

-That's not her.

With the white Mercedes.

-I was in the shower...

She's always with this doggy.

With a grey coat.

Grey coat? that's her.

-Tall woman, with a ponytail.

Her brother's a parachutist, and her mother throws parties.

Always with her legs crossed.

Then it's not her.

Anyway...

With the ponytail, and the doggy.

That's not her.

She has a white Mercedes.

And shoesize 42.

Size 42? That's her.

Tall woman, with a ponytail.

-So I was in the shower...

I've been in the shower for two hours now and I'm getting a pneumonia

I told you it's her..

I open the door, we were making love. I'll spare you the details.

After making love, I don't know...

-No, you never know...

I'm saying "I don't know" in a manner of speaking.

I mean, I know, you know?

So anyway, after making love, I don't know...

-You see.

I just mean to say "I don't know".

So you do know.

If you say "I don't know, I'd like to go to the beach" then you know.

I'm scared.

Roomservice.

-Who ordered that?

I ordered buns and beer.

What a situation.

Hold me tight.

Come on, pull.

-You're pulling my arm out.

What's happening?

-That dick is shooting the waiter.

I'll kill him.

Was I supposed to look stupid for a tip?

Pull me up.

-I'm trying.

Say, Johnny...

-What is it?

That's my car.

Stay away from my car.

He's stealing my car radio. Police.

I don't want to see that guy anymore.

-Relax.

Can't you be left alone for a single minute?

-Calm down.

What a frightning ordeal.

It was this close to happening.

A car radio of 50 dollars stolen.

Thank god you're around.

Just don't think about it anymore.

It all ended well.

Ow, that hurts.

Don't touch me when I'm holding a gun.

Not when I'm nervous.

It's time.

Everything taken care of?

-Call me back in a minute.

We're closing.

Where did you put the rings?

How should I know?

Call me back in a minute.

Did you get everything?

Your suit?

-I'm not going to get married naked.

The rings?

-Of course I have them.

Your shoes?

Of course I have my... I forgot them.

-Without me you'd have to go on your slippers.

I'll get them quickly.

-The package arrived.

We'll pick that up tomorrow.

I'm picking you up at half past seven.

At half past seven?

-Alright, quarter past seven then.

Here he comes...

Quiet, I've got him.

THREE MEN AND A LEG

Will you turn off the light?

Translated Dutch subs to English by Linforcer

Orignial Dutch subs by: Hoek & Son?pouseToonder Group

ON VACATION ALL OF AUGUST

What is it?

-It's seven past eight.

Is that any reason to yell like that?

Hurry up.

We have to go get the package.

Just let me finish my peperonata.

Peperonata? At eight in the morning?

(peperonata = Peppers Saut?ed with Olive Oil and Capers)

And at twelve dead mice?

How's your wife?

Is she at the coast? Aren't you jealous?

Give her my regards.

And signor Giacomo?

The big day is approaching.

Are you scared?

-I'm marrying in three days.

It's about time. Then all three of you will finally have a normal household.

What I wanted to say is, if you don't move your car very soon...

my husband will scratch it and have it towed.

Understood?

Safe journey, you two.

It's already ten past eight.

What's with that dog having his legs inside out?

Sorry? First you don't greet me and then you take my spot?

You're right. How are you?

We have to hurry.

Who are they?

-The maintenance guys.

Two of them are married to the Cecconi sisters...

and the third is marrying the youngest now.

They're going south for the wedding...

Because that's where miss Cecconi is from.

The Cecconi daughters?

With that enormous chain of hardwarestores.

Without him those three would already be in the gutter.

You're getting dirt on the dashboard with your feet.

You are such a nitpicker.

-Me?

A little, yeah.

-But he's walking all over the dashboard.

You have to be able to take critisism.

You have your leg on the transmission.

-You are such a nit-picker.

Fine, we'll just keep driving in first gear.

And fasten your seatbelt or the insurance won't cover you.

We're only going 30 kilometres an hour.

Man, you're an asshole.

-And a nit-picker.

I'll get the package

You can go...

Why does it always have to be you?

I can't do it?

No, but if you want to...

What a terrible dog.

Do you want coffee?

Coffee? Yeah, he wants coffee.

What have you got against him?

Stop blowing bubbles.

Stop it.

Wanna armwrestle?

-We've armwrestled three times now.

Wanna armwrestle?

-I'm reading the newspaper.

You can't say that to a child.

-Ok, we'll armwrestle.

Are you ready? You start.

Want to armwrestle?

-Stop it, idiot.

Don't go to far, Grumpy.

-Go, go, cross the street.

Go on.

-Stop it now.

Does it have to take so long?

I didn't go for fries. This is expensive stuff.

Put it in straight.

Put it in the back.

Put it down flat to be safe.

Put it down flat.

-Do it yourself.

If it's broken, I'll kill you.

-Are we gonna open it?

Everything is in order.

-What is this?

170 million lire for this ugly thing?

It's madness.

-Now what?

This is by the great sculptor Garpetz.

My hadyman can do this for 30,000. This one doesn't have any nails.

What does our father-in-law want with this?

Is a hardware-trader not allowed to like art?

Real good, what prejudice.

Hey, my monkey.

He's my mokey.

I'll call you monkey if I want. Where are you? Still in Lodi?

They're still in Lodi.

They're still in Lodi.

-Tell him about the presents.

Yes, lots of gifts.

A silver turtle with a clock in it.

Little ivory breasts...

A christmas-stall with Capodimonte and tissueboxes.

And some crystal swans.

Are we doing karaoke before or after the cake?

-Give him to me for a moment.

Hurry up.

Don't talk so much.

-Here comes daddy.

Take off that dress. You look like a doll.

Have you got everything? The package too?

Everything is taken care of. Compliments on the Garpetz.

-What do you mean?

The sculpture by Garpetz, it's beautiful.

Compliments.

-That ugly leg?

My handyman would have done it better for 30,000 with nails.

But Garpetz is an artist of the transavantgarde.

His work is in the MOMA of New York.

And the sculptor is in General Hospital...

With tubes in his nose and one in another hole.

He's nearly dying.

Those artists are addicts and gay.

But if he dies, the sculpture will be worth 300 million.

But you wouldn't understand.

Now give me the nit-picker.

Hello, nit-picker, where are you now?

We're still only 40 kilometres form home.

Well, you have to hurry.

We're all going to have dinner at Gambrinuse, the restaurant.

The priest will be there, and I don't want to look stupid.

I hear Grumpy.

Here's daddy. Let me hear your little voice.

Good thing you're there, Grumpy. The only one that gives me any satisfaction.

Could you close your window?

I've had a neck-cramp.

Are you turning on the aircondition? I've had bronchitis.

Yeah, if you're smoking, can I at least turn on the radio?

No, I have a headache.

We should have brought you an iron lung.

Stop the car, I need to take a piss.

You have to go every two minutes.

-Do you want me to piss in the car?

Come on, Grumpy.

Man, you are lazy.

Tie him up as a guard dog.

-He can't come?

Come on. Come here, Grumpy.

Stay here like a good dog.

You have to watch the million dollar leg.

A real Garpetz without nails.

What a smart creature.

Some lukewarm milk with a bit of coffee without foam, not cold.

Let's see if you can do that.

Where's Giacomo?

-At the book department of course.

Look, there he is.

Does he read a lot?

-Not at all.

He buys hundreds and never reads them.

Look, now he's got his hands behind his back.

He's going to the bestellers.

Cold.

Watch this.

He thinks that's too commercial. He gives it a disapproving look

Now he's looking for a book no-one knows.

You see?

Heavy pocket by a writer that comitted suicide.

Now he's browsing it.

-What else do you do with a book?

Daar kommt een vrouw.

She shows he's a connaiseur and gives a review.

He hasn't even read it.

-Man, he's showing off.

And now?

-Watch this...

Excuse me, you dropped something.

Is this in the Repubblica?

You are such an asshole.

It was just a joke. Better keep this with you anyway.

Nice girl.

You and your jokes.

-Does it really matter?

Look at them.

I'm better than you are.

What do you think of that?

Say. that's a whole different thing.

Race you to the car.

Jump in the river.

You are such a dick, showing off to little kids.

Listen to this guy. Soon you'll be married and still flirting.

The trick with the book is so old.

Giacomo's getting married.

Soon he'll say "I do"

Go do that to the dog.

I'm not looking. I don't want to see it.

It was the most beautiful dog in the world. Even better than Rintintin.

That's life.

you're a murderer.

-You're the one that tied him up.

But you drove away.

It's happened. Stop fighting.

But who's gonna tell the old guy?

He's gonna do something bad to us.

-He'll fire us.

Scaredycats. What are you scared of?

You can explain it was an accident. It's not like we purposely...

Did you guys hear yet? He's dead.

It wasn't my fault. Giovanni was just...

Don't you get it? Garpetz, the sculptor is dead.

Oh, we're sorry. That's too bad.

Not at all. It's the hit of the year.

I've done it again.

But you, you can't do anything.

All you can do is marry my daughters.

Give me Grumpy for a moment. At least he understands me.

Hello, Grumpy? Why don't I hear anything?

What's wrong with him? I can barely hear him.

There's nothing wrong. It's interference on the line.

Hello? Hello? They can't even use a telephone.

What crappy music. Don't you have something else?

-You don't like this?

Play something else.

-I know something.

Oh, please. Do me a favor.

I can't take this. Too many memories.

I can't take it.

A different genre.

Do you hear that sound?

A metallic sound.

-I don't hear anything.

But I've had an ear-infection.

You don't hear a metallic sound?

-No.

At the next turn I want to go see a mechanic.

We're much too late and you want to stop for a little sound?

That's what the captain of the Titanic said... Oh, that sound is nothing.

That captain talked like that?

Good idea you had. Where in God's name are we?

Is it my fault there aren't any signs anywhere?

-Stop at the curb here.

You and your little sound. You're hearing voices.

Ow, my nose.

My nose is bleeding.

Who drives as idiotic as that?

My fault.

My fault. Look what you've done.

It's not such a drama.

We're three hours late and now this.

I was watching the map.

-She was watching the map.

So we kill people with our car.

Are you hurt?

Well a big nose like that, it's easy to hit it.

You braked so suddenly.

-I was only going twenty kilometres an hour.

But still.

-You were sleeping.

Sometimes that's when you're most alert.

-What kind of nonsense is that?

Never mind.

-Well let's move these cars.

Look at that.

-Ah, that's nothing.

It'll get fixed.

And now?

Go. I was as good as standing still.

Giacomo let's himself...

He's got such a...

The slut.

-Just stop...

Don't say anything. Don't say anything.

Now what?

Could we make up for the trouble by inviting you to lunch?

Why is that? She damaged my car.

Nice girl, eh?

-She sure is.

But she also has a certain radiance.

I'm sure, but you're getting married in two days.

maarje trouwt over tw'ee dagen.

Why, what'd I say?

-You keep looking at her.

Am I reacting that much?

-Sort of, yeah.

Unless I'm gravely mistaken.

-No, no, you're right.

Everything ok?

i've managed to extend the ferry.

-To where?

Brindisi-Patras and then the islands.

Are you meeting your boyfriend there?

Painful subject?

You just broke up.

He left you.

For your best friend.

-Stop it.

I was just trying to break the ice.

Sorry.

Are you musicians?

That's not a saxophone?

-No, something else.

It's a sculpture.

Can I see it?

-We can't do that.

Come on, show it.

No...

-Yes, I'm afraid so...

Is it real?

-The leg?

This is a Garpetz.

-How'd you guess?

Isn't it easy to see? Costs a lot too. Nice leg.

My work has to do with art. I restore pieces.

I've always wanted to do that for a living.

You couldn't even put together the puzzle of the week.

I only got it just now.

-What a joke.

And you?

What do you do?

We work in precision-mechanics...

adanced technology servicing specific projects.

I don't know, hardware.

-Hardware.

We create parts that service to plan great situations.

Precision instruments for a future revolution in mechanics.

Is that clear?

We run a hardware store.

It's not really ours.

We work there as salesmen, as errand boys really.

Don't be so pessimistic. A swallow doesn't just fly in spring.

How philosofical.

Well, then I'll quote Plato.

Let that Plato be. He left you.

The symposium of Plato, The myth of the halves. Do you know it?

I used to know it very well.

I read a piece of it.

According to Plato man was like this apple. Perfect.

He had enough with just himself. There was not the difference of man and woman.

There were only perfect, happy individuals.

But one day, Zeus, who was jealous of their perfection did...

And since then man has desperately sought his other half

Bcause without it he felt completely miserable.

But no matter how hard he tried...

He never found his exact half.

And he still doesn't.

Because it's practically impossible to do so.

It would be a miracle.

WENT TO THE CINEMA

-Does this guy never work?

We have to move on. We'll act as if nothing happened. Goodbye.

Do we have to return the car like this?

-The insurance will take care of it.

You're such an ass. Do you want to leave her here like this?

Did you want to go to the cinema?

You should be kept on a leash.

How do you find a mechanic in here? A needle in a haystack.

We have a problem...

An accident...

-I'm watching the movie.

If I could just ask you...

The mechanic doesn't feel like it.

That's a Garpelli.

-Who?

A film from neorealism.

Thirty years old.

-I'm sure.

We can't miss it.

-How so?

Giacomo?

-It's a Garpelli.

I'll get popcorn.

Tickets, please.

Can I have your ticket?

Do you have a ticket?

Maybe I lost it.

-Then you'll get a fine.

You're getting ahead of things.

I just said, if you lost it.

If I don't find it first.

Stop joking around. Just look for the ticket.

Cigarette?

-No, thanks.

I'm not trying to bribe you.

-You wouldn't be able to with a cigarette.

How about a pack?

Stop joking around and give me your ticket.

What's wrong?

-He doesn't have a ticket.

Give him a fine.

-Don't you worry.

A big one.

-I'll take care of that.

Those glasses look really good on you.

My glasses?

-Really good.

Could this be it?

Did that have to take twenty minutes?

-Do you have a party to go to?

This ticket has been stamped twice.

It has multiple stamps.

-Well, it was more expensive.

What nonsense. I'm going to have to give you a fine.

Your colleague did this.

-Nonsense.

It's your fault if you are stupid.

-Call your sister stupid.

You didn't use it right.

You're an imbecil.

-That's enough.

There are witnesses but we don't do anything

Come along, we'll get out.

-Keep your hands off me.

Just let him go. What does it matter?

What an annoying asshole that guy is.

Are we supposed to tolerate that and ignore the rules?

But he's overreacting.

I'm not going to run away.

You took a big step.

-My one leg is longer.

Give me your pesonal information.

-I'm not doing well.

Stop with those jokes. I want your name and first name.

What's your name?

-I'm waiting.

For what?

-For you to write it down.

How is that written.

-A...

y...

e, y, e.

It's hard enough, please, do me a favor.

And what would your last name be?

Ayeye Brazorf.

The old guy really acts well.

Much better than the other two.

They're not actors. They're people off the street.

Let's see.

There's not a passport in here.

-How is that possible?

Keep your hands to yourself. Where is it?

-Then it got stolen.

Goddarn, they stole it.

And they left the plastic there?

-That's how clever they've gotten.

Go with me to the policestation.

-Keep off me.

What have you got against me? Do I look like someone who used to beat you up?

l haven't done anything to you. You've wanted to hit me all this time.

Watch what you're doing.

-What an actor.

They pushed me into that tram.

What nonsense. Stop acting so dramaticly.

I feel it in my stomach.

I'm really feeling bad.

Yeah, It really gets to you, the neorealism.

No, I think it's the mussels.

He's not feeling well.

-Right before the ending.

I'm a colleague.

-Your ticket.

l'm a conductor.

-And I'm Gary Cooper.

Be calm, you're in good hands. Here's the doctor.

What's the first and last name?

-Giacomo Poretti.

Did I ask you anything?

-He's my brother in low.

Am I supposed to fill in the data from just anyone?

I know him well.

-Is this your brother-in-law?

So how was his name?

-Ask him.

Please, we're in a hurry.

-Stop it.

Let's see...

Does this hurt?

Are you sure?

And If I press here?

Why don't you give him a calmant...

for instance 4 cc placebo...

I didn't know you were a doctor, where did you go to medical school?

Do me a favor, sit down over there and shut your mouth.

Don't interrupt me when I'm working.

Prepare a sedative. Let me think...

4 cc placebo.

Stick out your tongue.

I think he has a kidneycolic.

What did I tell you?

You have to keep your mouth shut and sit over there.

Yes, but...

-I'm doing the examination here.

But if I press here...

It hurts. It's not tracheitis.

He's made a diagnosis. He's become a professor.

Do you want me to take off my doctorscoat and give it to you? Is that what you want?

Keep your mouth shut. I don't want to hear another word. Shut up.

Dear mister...

-Giacomo Poretti.

Dear mister Poretti...

This is a good kidneycolic.

We're going to examinate you. You'll have to stay the night.

We're already much to late.

-You shouldn't discuss with him.

The doctor's had a high education. He's not making it up.

He knows what he's saying.

How are you?

-Not good.

The placebo isn't working?

-I don't think so. It still hurts.

You shouldn't eat such junk. The phone doesn't even work

Do you want me to take off your socks?

-Please.

The car's gone. She stole it.

That friend of yours with her myth and her half apple.

She took the car and the leg, and I even gave her the key.

I brought the leg.

And I've put the car in the shade.

Is this your bag, Giacomo?

Where's your pajama?

-I don't have one.

I sleep naked.

-You and your bronchitis?

Calm down. It's fine. I'll just lend him mine.

Why does that shirt say "straight jacket"?

They were out of the ones that said "Ronaldo".

No, don't worry.

No, he's sleeping.

He can't talk? What's he got?

It's nothing serious. Give me Marta

Here she comes.

-Give me that phone.

You brats. Where are you at?

I don't care if he has the plague or lepra...

-Dear

Shut up and stay where you are. I'm talking.

This is a place where people know me. Only the better people come here.

I look like an idiot before the priest.

I'm very sorry.

-Go to hell.

Now give me my wife. I want to talk to my wife.

When I lose my patience, I get really mad.

I'll throw you back into the gutter you came from. Understand?

What are you looking at? Continue eating.

Twenty million could get you a bar in Costa Rica by the beach.

Sun, sea and plames.

All year in your bathing suit?

-All year.

No-one bothering you or ordering you around.

But it's a big decision. You have to leave everything behind.

And what if it's not as good as you expected.

-It is a risk.

But if you don't take risks...

Have you ever done that?

Once.

I put money on Inter-Cagliari once.

Are you sure you can take me there?

-It's not out of our way at all.

We can't just leave you with a broken car.

It was a good idea too.

-Stop it. You don't believe that yourself.

Well then. It's nine thirty.

We'll be in Brindisi at one thirty.

I am count Dracula...

Ooh, how scary...

Do you want to eat something, Giusi?

-No, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep.

Good night.

-She's a hard worker.

Let's sing.

-Set the tone.

The beautiful woman goes to the spring

And brings beats and spinash to the sutherling.

AWAY WITH THE SUTHERLINGS

OF TRANSILVANIA

What a day, two Transsylvanians.

The force of nature.

Man, that hurts.

I'm not convinced.

Should we have brought him in?

With all those bad people.

-Look at those low cheekbones.

did you see that forehead?

-And those big eyes.

Look at that lower chin.

-And then those teeth.

I'll tell you something.

-Don't say it.

That is a sutherling.

A sutherling.

-As sure as gold.

He's waking up.

Everything alright, good man? What happened?

Do you want a cognac?

-A zibibbo, please.

To poppel up a bit.

-What a strange dialect.

Zibibbo, what kind of stuff is that?

We'll introduce ourselves.

I'm Michele, his name is Gino. And you?

Branvilla.

And then?

Branvilla Fumagalli.

Tell us where you're from.

From a region...

here in the parage.

How do you say, parage...

Is that French?

-A little more South.

Gosh...

That was some blow.

Ai madonna, what a blow.

He's not very convincing.

-I agree.

Let's trick him with the cadrega.

-Good thinking.

You go get a cadrega.

-You're smart as a weasel.

Mister Branvilla, please join us at the table.

Have a nice cadrega.

You can't keep a cadrega from a person.

-Come on.

A nice little cadrega.

Go ahead.

That's a nice cadrega.

A cadrega is not an apple.

It's a chair.

-My good sir.

I was just about to say what a fine construction...

this cadrega has.

When I go back home...

I hope to...

sit my butt down on such a beautful cadrega.

I have to go to the toilet.

Where is the toilet?

I have to go to the toilet.

-Toilet?

I've had such a blow.

The loo?

Up the stairs and on the left.

Sorry, but I have to go a moment.

To do a little pee in the pipistrello.

I'll be right back.

You were absolutely right.

That guy is a sutherling.

What's this? A roll of papyrus?

He forgot it.

-Open it.

For Dracula, with love, Tot? Schillaci.

Dracula? Schillaci?

Who is that Schillaci?

-The Grand Vizier of the sutherlings.

Against great evil, we'll need to use great weapons.

We'll fill the empty hole tonight.

He's next door.

-With Giusi.

Sutherling.

-Mother.

Ai, how scary.

If we had a number sixteen we would have fixed it my now.

Is it my fault no-one passes by?

"I know a short-cut without any traffic."

And now we've landed in Nebraska.

The little prince woke up. Help out here.

We have to talk.

What's wrong with him?

-Jump in the river.

What's going on?

-Where are you going?

He sure changes mood a lot.

Come here.

How did you do thot?

-Child's play.

She has a number sixteen.

-But then still.

What's he got?

Look what I found.

A new Grumpy.

It's black.

-You are such a racist.

With bat-ears.

-Isn't he cute?

Shake.

Let's go swim here.

No, guys. All well and nice but...

I let you drive, but we're already late. No funny business.

Well ok. For five minutes.

Gold medal for synchronous swimming.

Aren't you a little cold?

-No.

I am, a little.

-Race you there.

'I'm a little cold.'

-"Race you there."

I'll beat you.

-Tag

So tomorrow you're getting married.

-But not really.

That was a good one, five.

I have to get two now.

Two.

-That was a coincidence.

You are such a good swimmer.

You too, especially the breaststroke.

At school they used to call me the frog.

See, I can do it. Now you have to hit this one.

Sometimes a frog can turn into a prince.

Have you completely lost it?

you guys are completely nuts.

-Sorry, Chiara.

For both of us. I didn't do it on purpose.

It was his rock by the way.

But nothing happened. It wasn't on purpose.

It's not a problem.

But that might be.

Look at that. He's peeing on the leg.

The stupid animal.

It's porous

-It's only ammoniac.

That's not soap.

-Shampoo has ammoniac.

And see here the result.

I'll go wash it.

I'll give you a kick.

-Come on, Grumpy.

300 milion ruined.

Clean up the mess.

We're late as it is.

What have you done now?

If only we had an airbed.

-I have an idea.

Don't be an idiot.

I thought it would float.

-It weighs at least thirty kilos.

Where does the river end.

What do you mean?

Five kilometres down from here is the sea.

The sea, yes.

-To the sea.

You're really messing things up, Giovanni.

His dog pees on it and it's my fault.

-Stop, stop, stop.

Look overthere.

I'll go.

It's settled.

We play a game Italy-Marocco, up to ten.

You're demented.

Have you seen Marrakech Express?

This reminds me of that.

Did you see that? The return of the great Inter.

did you see how athleticly I turned into the corner?

They were perplexed.

And when Chiara stopped that shot...

bounced the ball right off her chest. Fantastic.

Yeah, really fantastic. But we still lost ten-three.

If you choose for suncover, you lose.

Marrocco is strong. Too much defense. And they make a quick counter-attack.

He's getting married and we're centuries late.

The back of the car is completely destroyed.

The bulldog has been traded for a bat.

And the 300 million leg is in the hands of the Maroccans.

How do you like that?

I got an idea.

Cheer up.

No, I don't want to. Do you hear the rumbling of your stomach?

This is a terrible thing to do.

Why did I get the Carl Popper mask?

It's Cossiga.

-I really hate Cossiga.

Stop it. do you want to get the leg back, or not?

You have to be good.

You have to stay here. We don't have a mask of Rintintin.

Don't be such a bother.

Do you want coffee?

Be calm. Nothing happened.

Permisson. Everything in order.

The four of them, comma

armed and disguised, comma...

entered... What does it say?

The four of them, comma, armed and disguised, comma, entered...

Entered the house of engineer Amin Kaleb Assad...

and architect Salem Mohamed Sadat...

To steal a wooden object of questionable taste.

Period?

-Period, and so on, and so on...

So, you steal sculptures?

Yes, look down.

Baglio, breaking and entering, the worst form of indignety.

What will it be.

-What you want it to be, sir.

Are we getting funny? I'll soon make sure you have nothing to laugh about.

The leg is ours. Not personally, but...

Giacomino Poretti, born in Busto Garo!fo...

Should not interfere.

His name is Giacomo.

-You're going to be their lawyer?

Your name is Giacomo, right?

Giacomino.

It's a serious fact.

What do you think? Do you want ot press charges?

Never mind, I feel sorry for the poor losers.

All that for a leg my handyman could do better for 30.000.

Say

-"Thank you."

Why doesn't the old guy call?

-The phone's off.

They haven' t heard from us in 24 hours.

Do you want to call?

-Why me?

Giacomo is sleeping, I'm driving.

I'm not afraid.

If it would have been me...

I was the first to...

Lat me finish for once, you just keep on talking.

You're ruining my life. I'm only human.

It had to be said. Go to hell.

Fuck off...

with your fucking store and your damn villa. You fucking asshole.

The line was busy.

-Go away.

MARIANO AND THE INNER BEAUTIES

The boys will be there in two hours.

They've been saying that for two days.

What could they be up to?

Something must have happened.

I'm so worried. She's not worrying.

I have an invoice for you.

I don't know how that works. You should go to my husband.

But I don't see him. Eros?

I have to say something.

I'm not getting married.

Why not?

I'm in love.

You can see that.

What do you see?

-So many things.

How you look at her.

How you seperate from the rest...

You're absent.

-Me?

You lost the leg.

-That was you.

No, it was him.

Love.

Can I interest you in a Sony-recorder?

His wife maybe?

-He's not getting married.

Sunglasses.

You know, I'm jealous..

-Really?

What in god's name is going on?

Things go the way they go.

-Are you going to abandon everyone?

No, I have to think about it.

-You're not a kid anymore. Tell him.

He's getting swept up by his feelings.

-You know what?

I'm going to tell her.

-What's he going to tell her.

I have to tell you something.

-Another one?

Do you see those people there?

They're taking the same ferry I am.

They said I can ride with them.

It's the best thing for everyone.

Yes, that's true.

I'll get my suitcase.

-I'll help you.

Come on, Giacomo.

Do you have a cigarette?

Could you stop? I have to throw up.

He can't go home like this. And he certainly can't get married.

He doesn't have to get married if he doesn' t wan to.

He's just confused.

He wants to, but he's not sure.

But he's abandoning everything.

-Such as?

His job.

-Yeah, nice job...

His family.

-With that father-in-law...

His economic security.

What's happening? Where's Giacomo?

Where did he go?

He's made his decision.

What nonsense. I don't see him.

I can see it now.

Love gives and takes.

Is this going to take forever? Hurry up.

Goddamn...

The rock is all friable.

-You mean fragile...

It's dangerous, that's what.

did you have to go on slippers?

-My feet needed air.

Now I'm scared to move in either direction.

I'm not going to move.

Put your foot on that ridge shaped like a gnu's hoof.

I don't see any gnu's hoof.

-Put the other one in that increment.

Which one?

-The spine of the skunk.

What does a skunk look like?

-you don't see the spine.

I've found a hole.

It could be the skunk's ass.

Just a moment, I'm nearly falling to my death.

You and your slippers.

There he is.

Leave me alone. Stop bothering me.

Did you fall?

Are you hurt.

Why?

-Did you climb down?

There's a path, isn't there?

There's a path?

-How was I to know?

I nearly died.

-A path isn't safe either.

Imagine you slip or get a roof tile on your head.

In the middle of the Indian Ocean?

Come, Giacomo. It's late.

Hey, Giuliana.

We're on our way.

Giacomo? No, he can't come to the phone.

He went to the toilet.

i'll give you Aldo.

Hey? Giuliana, how nice.

We're on our way.

Yes, soon.

No, Giacomino's sleeping.

He's sleeping on the toilet.

Must have fallen asleep while he was taking a shit.

Really.

Go to hell.

Are you sure, Giovanni?

It's best for everyone.