Three Little Words (1950) - full transcript
Song-and-dance man Bert Kalmar can't continue his stage career after an injury for a while, so he has to earn his money as a lyricist. Perchance he meets composer Harry Ruby and their first song is a hit. Ruby gets Kalmar to marry is former partner Jessie Brown, and Kalmar and Jessie prevent Ruby from getting married to the wrong girls. But due to the fact that Ruby has caused a backer's withdrawal for a Kalmar play, they end their relationship.
Where did you get that girl?
Oh, you lucky devil
Where did you get that girl?
Tell me on the level
Have you ever kissed her?
If she has a sister
Lead me, lead me
Lead me to her mister
Gee, I wish that I had a girl
I'd love her, I'd love her
Oh, goodness, how I'd love her
If you can find another
I'll take her home to Mother
Where? Where?
Where did you get that girl?
Five bows and an encore.
Not bad for a Tuesday night, huh?
They loved you, Jess.
Come on, I'll buy you a steak.
Hey, wait. I wanna watch
Mendoza's opening trick.
- What, again?
- Hi, Jess.
Bert, big news.
I just closed the deal for you.
Eighty weeks solid
on the Orpheum time.
Two seasons straight.
How do you like that?
Watch this. It's terrific.
Here's your new song.
Hot off the presses.
"'Where Did You Get That Girl? '
Words by Bert Kalmar...
...co-author of 'Hello, Hawaii,'
'Oh! What a Pal Was Mary."'
- Am I an agent?
- Yeah, yeah. Now, look.
- Hey, what's going on?
- Magic is going on.
Come in.
- Oh, I thought you'd be dressed by now.
- Jess, listen. Come here.
I've got a great idea,
an opening for the new act.
I come out in one, see?
I'm a magician.
- Oh, a magician.
- Yeah.
I'm in a full dress suit,
medals on my chest...
...maybe a mustache
and a little goatee.
Yes, I adore little goatees.
And you come on as my assistant.
I hand you my gloves...
Hey, wait a minute.
- You're not walking out on me, are you?
- Not yet.
- What you open the door for?
- Because I'm a nice girl, Mr. Kalmar.
And a nice girl
always leaves the door open.
You know, we could fix all that
so you won't have to worry about doors.
We could get married.
I'd like that.
Maybe someday
when you're not so rushed, Bert.
So you don't have to propose
in short pants.
Listen, Jess, I'm not kidding.
Neither am I.
You're too busy, Bert.
A big headliner, important songwriter.
A magician.
Now you're writing a play.
You want to be everything
in show business all at once.
And I just want to be a wife.
You couldn't light in one spot
long enough for the ceremony.
Okay, Jess.
But if you ever do decide to marry me,
you'll speak right up, won't you?
You'll be the first to know.
Thanks, Jess.
Well, what about that magic idea?
Well, what's the matter?
- Just a couple of tricks for an opening?
- And for a finish, you saw me in half.
Next thing you know,
you'll be doing a single.
"Kalmar The Magnificent."
Maybe you think I couldn't.
- Maybe I'll surprise you.
- Nothing you did would surprise me.
You know, sometimes I think
you'd rather be a bad magician...
...than a good actor.
- How do I look?
- Beautiful.
- Do I need a flower?
- What for?
I think I need a flower.
- Pretty fancy, huh?
- Just wonderful.
- Telephone, Mr. Kalmar.
- Okay.
Be right back.
Clanahan's Paradise,
the best beer on the island.
See Kendall The Great,
miracles and marvels of magic.
And appearing on the stage right now,
The Four Little Boys in Gray.
Fifteen acts of...
Jimmy O'Leary said I've got a theory
She's different from all of your girls
She's not a queen
Like you see on the screen
And she ain't got
No diamonds or pearls
But she's mine, all mine
Giants 4, Philadelphia 2.
End of the seventh.
I told her I worked in a glue factory
And that's how she happened
To get stuck on me
- I'll take over.
- Thanks.
And she's mine, all mine
- Hey, Ruby.
- Yes, sir?
- Where you going?
- This is my supper hour.
I thought I'd go out for a catch.
Yeah? Well, take it on the hop
to dressing room four.
Kendall The Great needs an assistant.
Say, Mr. Clanahan, would you mind...
...if I asked one of the acts
to sing a song that I wrote?
It's called "On the Shores of Araby."
It goes like this:
I can't forget the night we met
On the shores of Araby
The moon lit up the sky
And love lit up your eyes
I kissed you once
I kissed you twice
As I held you gently
That night upon the shores of Araby
- I never...
- You wrote that?
Yes, sir. Words and music both.
Well, take it on the hop
to dressing room four.
Kendall The Great needs an assistant.
Yes, sir.
Come in.
Mr. Kendall?
Ebbetts Field is that way.
No, I'm your assistant.
Mr. Clanahan said.
Okay. Take those boxes backstage
and pile them up behind the drapes.
Yes, sir.
Now, when I'm on,
I'll give you signal like this:
Whenever you hear that
you take the top box...
...shove an animal through the hole in the
drapes and into the back of the table. Got it?
Animals, huh?
- I want them in just that order.
- Yeah.
Don't fool around with that goose.
He's vicious.
Well, they usually are.
Ladies and gentlemen,
since time began...
...man has placed his trust
in the witch doctor...
...the sorcerer and the voodoo.
Who dares to call them frauds?
Watch carefully, please.
Is this trickery or magic?
Now, I have here
a gentleman's ordinary silk hat.
As you can plainly see...
...there are no secret pockets
and no hidden springs.
I place the hat on the table.
Go on, get in there.
Go on, what are you waiting for?
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the identical hat.
I'll fill it from this pitcher of water.
Like this.
Is this trickery or magic?
- Oh, look, a goose.
- Now, but don't go near him. He's vicious.
Look.
I would like your attention, please.
Watch carefully.
Now think of a card.
Any card in the deck.
A scientific exhibition
of mind over matter.
For my next deception,
I have here a little handkerchief...
What's going on...?
I'll be right back, Mr. Clanahan.
- You see a goose go by here?
- I saw a lot of them down there.
Watch carefully, please.
Ordinary hat. Ordinary drinking water.
I pour it in the hat like this:
Place it on my head like that.
- Where is he? Where is he?
- Just a minute, you.
That baseball player,
if I ever lay my hands on him...
Get out of my theater
and don't ever come back.
I ought to sue you
for that performance.
I ought to take you to court,
you small-time swami.
Oh, shut up.
- Hello.
- What are you doing here?
Charlie traced you for me.
Nice comedy routine, Bert.
That maniac in a baseball hat.
I was going great until then.
- I had them right there, I was killing them.
- Listen to him.
Every theater in the country
is waiting for Kalmar and Brown...
...but Kendall The Great is killing them
in Coney Island at 5 bucks a night.
What were you trying to prove?
That we ought to use magic in the act?
Not necessarily.
You know what magic is to me.
- It's a hobby. It relaxes me.
- You look relaxed.
Come in.
- Say, a couple of them got away.
- Get out of here!
Bert Kalmar.
That's Bert Kalmar, the songwriter.
Say, Mr. Clanahan, that's Bert Kalmar.
- I saw him at the Palace.
- Yeah. I heard you tell the rabbit.
I recognized him without his mustache.
Sure, sure. Here, son.
And don't look
for another job right away.
Just take a nice, long rest.
Thank you. Thank you.
Now, with your kind indulgence
we'd like to show you what happens...
...when two dancers get married.
Mr. and Mrs. Hoofer at home.
Thank you.
They loved you, Jess.
See them applaud?
- Bert, I was so nervous.
- So was I. You know...
- Sorry, Mr. Kalmar.
- My fault.
Flowers for you.
Oh, they're beautiful.
Who are they from?
The president and I. We chipped in.
- Bert, what is it?
- I don't know.
"Kalmar and Brown, who opened
their new act to bravos last month...
...have been cancelled
following an accident backstage.
Doctors say Kalmar
will not be able to dance...
...for at least a year, possibly two."
I couldn't think of a tougher break.
It's Jessie I'm thinking about.
She can't just sit around waiting.
When you lay off too long,
they think you're through.
And I'm not gonna let that
happen to her.
Now, why can't she just pick up another
partner and take out the same act?
Bert, I told you,
the act needs your name.
She wouldn't make the expenses.
- You sunk a lot of dough into it, huh?
- Not much. Just everything I own.
- Hello.
- Hi, Jess.
- Hello.
- I've ordered breakfast.
- How are you, Charlie?
- Good.
- Hey, doughnuts?
- Sure.
Why did you have to go shopping?
No room service?
I figured we'd save the tip.
That wolf at the door
might get pretty hungry.
I've got to catch a rehearsal
down at Loew's.
- I'll see you, Jess. Bert.
- Bye, Charlie.
See you later.
Come here, honey.
Now, listen. That crack about
the wolf at the door, that's out, see?
- You won't be around to meet him.
- No?
I've been talking to Charlie.
We figured you ought to go out as a single.
I can write a new routine.
Charlie guarantees the booking,
says it's a cinch.
You boys have been
wasting your time.
My plans are all set.
I always told you
if ever I changed my mind...
...you'd be the first to know.
Of course, it took a broken kneecap
to make you stop bouncing long enough.
But I'm satisfied.
Say, maybe you didn't hear me.
I just accepted your proposal.
Look, Jess...
I won't be bouncing
for a long time yet.
And a fellow with a wife to support
has to get around pretty fast, you know.
Well, I'm not a girl
that needs a new sable every winter.
What about your writing, Bert?
Your play, your songs?
You don't have to click your heels
in the air to write a lyric.
Now, wait a minute.
I'd like to write a great play, sure.
Who wouldn't?
And those songs,
they're just a sideline for fun.
I never tried to make a living at it.
I'm not even sure I can.
Until I find out, l...
You don't want me
hanging around your neck.
Is that it?
I didn't say that.
Now, don't be sore at me, huh?
I'm not sore.
But it isn't every day
that a girl gets turned down.
Jessie, listen. Listen. Jessie!
Jessie!
Wish you could write
another song like that.
- I could sure use it.
- I'll tell you a secret, Al.
- So could I.
- Well, what's the matter?
Oh, I don't know.
I just haven't hit on anything.
- I can't seem to get started.
- Oh, you will.
What do you hear from Jessie?
Oh, she framed a new act. Doing fine.
Say, what is that?
One of your new ones?
That?
Some Arabian song
one of our pluggers wrote.
Plays it all day long,
drives me nuts.
Get me Harry Ruby.
I think I'll throw him out of here.
Arabian song, huh?
Not a bad tune.
Yeah, it is kind of catchy.
Hello, Ruby, come in here, son.
Let you talk to him.
You know, an Araby song
might be just the thing right now.
- Yes, chief?
- Oh, come in, Ruby.
Bert, this is Harry Ruby.
- Bert Kalmar.
- Hi.
Ruby, Mr. Kalmar wants to hear
that Arabian song of yours.
Yes. You bet. Yes, sir.
It's called
"On the Shores of Araby That Night..."
"That Night With You."
I can't forget the night we met
On the shores of Araby
The moon lit up the sky
And love lit up your eye
- Hold it, wait a minute.
- Yeah, hold it.
- Who wrote that lyric?
- Well, I did.
Words and music both.
Well, you know, you haven't got
an Arabian song there.
- You don't think so?
- No.
- Play it again, will you?
- Sure.
No, no. It's more like Dixie.
A Dixie tune.
Maybe Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee.
Sure. Look.
Da-da-da-da in Tennessee
Gee, that's swell, Mr. Kalmar.
Tennessee.
Well, you boys go right ahead.
- Take all day if you want.
- Okay, Al. Great.
Let me see.
Da-da-da-da in Tennessee
Say, don't I know you?
Well, I don't think so, Mr. Kalmar.
Da-da-da-da in Tennessee
Down among...
You worked here long?
Oh, for a couple of months,
Mr. Kalmar.
- Have a cigar.
- Oh, gee, thanks.
I wanna be in Tennessee
That's it. Try it.
I wanna be in Tennessee
That ought to do it.
Here, take it from the top.
I wanna be in Tennessee
In my Dixie paradise
An angel's voice I hear
I mean my mammy dear
I'd give my soul if I could stroll
Down among those hills again
For all the world
Would not be dreary then
I'd love to go to sleep and know
That tomorrow I'd arise
Beneath those southern skies
Where songbirds harmonize
Lordy, hear my plea
Make me what I wanna be
A rolling stone just rolling home
To my sunny Tennessee
Gosh, that's wonderful, Mr. Kendall.
Thanks.
Kendall? Oh, I remember now.
The pigeons, the rabbits.
Oh, I remember you!
Please, Mr. Kendall...
I mean, Mr. Kalmar.
You pin-headed baseball player.
Do you realize what you did that night?
- It was the goose.
- Goose?
Goose? Five hundred people
out front and...
You don't know that goose.
He was the meanest thing...
I knew I remembered that face.
I got a bad feeling the second I saw you.
You're a menace. Run away and hide
before you do real damage.
Let bygones be bygones.
Get away from me. I should
write a song with a jinx like you.
Here. As far as I'm concerned,
it never left Araby.
Goose.
Oh, hello, Mr. Kalmar.
I got your message.
You write this ad?
"The nation's number one song hit,
'My Sunny Tennessee'...
...by that sensational new writing team,
Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby."
- Well, yeah, you see, l...
- Who made you my partner?
- Well, nobody, but...
- Now, listen, kid.
You might as well understand
something right now.
Because I wrote one song with you
doesn't make us roommates.
I'm not teaming up with anybody.
Soon as I can swing this leg again,
I'd be back in vaudeville.
Until then, I'll write with anyone
who happens to have a good tune.
- Now, is that clear?
- Sure, that's very clear, Mr. Kalmar.
Okay.
Where are the doughnuts?
Thanks, Johnnie.
Well, got any new tunes?
As a matter of fact, I've got a tune
but I haven't thought of words for it yet.
Good.
My spikes. Al Schacht gave me those.
Al Schacht.
He's a pitcher in the big league.
Maybe you've heard of him?
Al Schacht?
- Play the tune.
- Sure.
Hey, have you got any
with chocolate on top?
Coming up.
You don't like it, huh?
Sure, sure. It's a nice little tune.
You ought to do something
with it sometime.
You ought to do something
with that shirt too.
Real silk, $4.
You got any other tunes?
Well... Let's see, I...
Well, don't pull a ligament.
You know...
...there hasn't been a good
Japanese song for quite a while.
Got something here
I thought might work out.
I call it "So Long, Oo-long."
I figured the rhythm
is something like this:
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna be gone?
You got something to fit that?
Well, let's see.
How about this?
Wait a minute. Try that again, will you?
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna be gone?
Now, wait a minute.
That's the same tune you just played.
Well, I know it.
Are you trying to put something
over on me?
- Well, no, I thought it would fit.
- Well, it doesn't fit.
What's the matter with you,
you only got one tune?
- I got plenty of tunes in me.
- Well, I've only heard one tune.
Yeah, I know.
Right now, all I got is one rotten tune.
Take it easy, kid.
Now, don't get excited.
- Don't get excited.
- Who's excited? I'm not excited.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll leave this lyric. If you come up
with something, give me a ring.
If you don't, well, don't worry.
See you around.
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna be gone?
Your little Japanee
Will be waiting
Underneath the bamboo tree
So don't be too long, Oo-long
I'll long while you're away
Waiting for the day
When you come back to me
I'll sit and sigh
'Neath the oriental sky
Each day that I
Am left alone
In Nagasaki
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna roam?
Please don't be too long
Oo-long, so long
Hurry back home
Ming Toy
Loved a boy
Happy little Japanee
Oo-long was his name
Set her heart aflame
- One day, he say
- Soon I got to go away
- When he leave
- Ming Toy grieve
Everybody hear her say
I'll sit and sigh
'Neath the oriental sky
Each day that I
Am left alone
In Nagasaki
So long, Oo-long
How long you going to roam?
Please don't be too long
Oo-long, so long
Hurry back home
- Hi, boys.
- Yes, sir, 10 cents.
Right. We have...
No, no, no. The Palace tonight.
I fixed it with Mrs. Carter DeHaven
to hear your song.
- Well...
- Not that, the new one.
If she likes it,
she'll introduce it next week.
Who's sorry now?
Who's sorry now?
Whose heart is aching
For breaking each vow?
Who's sad and blue?
Who's crying too?
Just like I cried over you
Right to the end
Just like a friend
I tried to warn you
Somehow
You had your way
Now you must pay
I'm glad that you're sorry now
Right to the end
Just like a friend
I tried to warn you
Somehow
You had your way
Now you must pay
I'm glad
That you're sorry now
Oh, that's great.
Looks like another hit.
You're making a habit of it.
- Thank you.
- We'll introduce it next week.
- Oh, good, thanks.
- Oh, Bert, how is your knee?
- Oh, better, better. Thank you.
- Wonderful. I'm glad. Excuse me.
- Boys, it was just great, that's all.
- Bert, swell.
Bert, I want a copy to send on to Jessie.
Can't you hear her sing it?
- Yeah, sure.
- It was like it was written for her.
Oh, I suppose
you haven't heard the news.
- No.
- Well, it's not settled yet.
But she may team up
with Bill Courtney next season.
They'll do an act
like she used to do with you.
Well, it's not definite yet.
They ought to do all right.
He's a very talented guy.
- Yeah.
- See you later, Charlie.
Yeah, yeah. Good night.
Oh, me and my big mouth.
Yeah, he doesn't talk about her
very much anymore.
Hey, where is she playing next week?
- Jessie?
- Yeah.
Montreal, at Queen's Theatre. Why?
I'll see you later.
Where did you get that girl?
Oh, you lucky devil
What's the matter?
Can't a fella dance if he feels like it?
- Well, I didn't say anything.
- What are you gaping at?
I'm not gaping.
I always look this way.
- You hurt your leg again, Bert?
- No. It's all right.
- I just gotta cut out those knee drops.
- Yeah.
You know what I think?
We ought to take a little vacation.
I mean it.
We've been working too hard.
We're tired.
It would do us good.
We could go to Miami Beach
or New Orleans, Hot Springs or Montreal.
Why Montreal?
Oh, no reason. Nice little town.
Might be a nice place to work on
that play you're always talking about.
Besides, I got
some relatives up there...
...and we could get
a good home-cooked meal.
Hey, Harry, I gave you a bum steer.
Jessie is not in Montreal next week,
it's Buffalo.
Oh, thanks.
Well, I got relatives in Buffalo too.
I'm sweet Marie from gay Paris
This is my new car
It fill my heart with joy
To drive a Yankee boy
On the sly I wink my eye
When one come my way
I stop the motorcar
And then I say
Come on, papa
Hop in the motorcar
Sit by mama
And hold the hand
You start to raise for me
What they call the deuce
I'll be so sweet to you
Like the charlotte russe
Come on, papa
Beneath the shining star
Bounce your baby
Upon the knee
I give you the kiss
Like the mamselles do
Each time you ask for one
I give you two
And when you're in the car
You love mama
Ooh la la, ooh la la
Come on, papa
We make love to you
Like you want us to
But if you pooh-pooh me
I pooh-pooh you
But when you're in the car
Don't go too far
- Ooh la la
- Ooh la la
Come on, papa
Thank you.
Thank you.
And for my next number...
Ladies and gentlemen...
...we have two very well-known
songwriters with us tonight.
Mr. Bert Kalmar and Mr. Harry Ruby.
Would you like to hear them
sing one of their numbers?
- Hello, Jess.
- Hello, Bert.
- Hi, Harry.
- Hi, Jessie.
Well, what shall we do?
"Nevertheless"?
Yeah.
Maybe I'm right
And maybe I'm wrong
And maybe I'm weak
And maybe I'm strong
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
Maybe I'll win
And maybe I'll lose
And maybe I'm in
For cryin' the blues
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
- Somehow I know at a glance
- Somehow I know at a glance
- The terrible chances I'm taking
- The terrible chances I'm taking
- Fine at the start
- Fine at the start
- Then left with a heart that is breaking
- Then left with a heart that is breaking
Maybe I'll live a life of regret
And maybe I'll give
Much more than I get
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
What's he gonna do,
go back in vaudeville?
Yeah.
Hold it, Harry!
- Harry, wait!
- Wait!
Early riser, huh?
Ducked out without saying goodbye.
Guys, you both
shouldn't have done this.
- You're on your honeymoon.
- Here's some candy.
- Oh, thanks, Bert.
- And a little fruit.
Oh, well, that will come in handy.
I like a little fruit once in a while.
Do you mind if I kiss the bride?
Bye, Harry.
And thanks for everything.
You know what I mean.
Oh, here, from me to you.
Well, now, thanks.
You shouldn't have done that.
- I wanted to.
- Oh, here's some newspapers.
And read a book sometime.
It might improve your brain.
All aboard!
Well...
We wrote a lot of good songs together,
didn't we, Bert?
- We sure did, Harry.
- Well, bye, Jessie.
- Bye, Harry.
- Bert.
Bye, kid.
And good luck to both of you.
- Good luck to you, kid.
- Don't forget to write.
Yeah, I'll keep in touch
with your bookings through Variety.
- So long.
- Bye-bye.
Not so very hungry this morning, sir?
- No, I'll just have some more coffee.
- And a couple of doughnuts.
- Yeah, a couple of doughnuts.
- Yes, sir.
- Harry.
- You alone? Why don't you join us?
Well, you're in Buffalo.
We canceled Buffalo, we're going
on a honeymoon. Toast, Bert?
Thanks. We've also canceled Syracuse and
Rochester and 40 weeks next season.
That's a long honeymoon.
Where are you going, up the Congo?
We might buy a little house
somewhere and settle down.
- How about Pelham, Bert?
- Pelham's nice. Coffee, dear?
- Yes, warm it.
- Well, what about the team?
Yeah, what about the team?
I don't know. Do you think
it should be Kalmar and Ruby...
...or Ruby and Kalmar?
Either way.
First billing doesn't mean
much to songwriters.
- Cream, dear?
- Yeah, just a little.
You mean you're not gonna do the act,
that the team's Bert and me?
Oh, Jessie, you're wonderful.
Look, it's okay to admire my wife.
Would you mind taking your elbow
out of my butter?
Oh, I'm sorry, Bert.
Oh, gosh.
Wait a minute. Start again, will you?
All alone Monday
Singin' the blues
I'll take it.
Here. Pick a card.
Any one.
- Ten of clubs.
- Yeah, that's all right.
Oh, just a moment, please.
Harry, telephone.
Thanks.
- Hello?
- Girl.
Oh, hello, Terry.
Yeah, I'm still working.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, sure I do.
What?
No. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Bye.
It was a girl.
- Really?
- We didn't think it was your Uncle Max.
- How long has this been going on?
- Oh, a couple of months.
In fact, we're engaged.
Oh, Harry, that's wonderful.
She's sweet.
I know you'll like her, Jessie.
Why, sure we will.
- Hi.
- Hi, Joe.
All alone Monday
Singin' the blues
Hey, that's our tune.
All alone Tuesday
Reading the news
Say, that redhead's
singing our new song.
That's Terry.
That's Terry?
- Harry, she's beautiful.
- Wait till you meet her.
On the shelf Wednesday
Till the dawn comes
By myself Thursday
Twirlin' my thumbs
Friday is my day
So I spend Friday all alone
On Saturday I
Dread the coming of Sunday
Monday the week starts anew
I'm certain I could endure
The week to the end
And I am sure
The days that I spend
Wouldn't be lonely
If I were only
All alone with you
On Saturday I
Dread the coming of Sunday
Monday the week starts anew
I'm certain I could endure
The week to the end
And I am sure
The days that I spend
Wouldn't be lonely
If I were only all alone
With you
- Hello, honey.
- How are you, dear?
- Miss Lordel, Mr. and Mrs. Kalmar.
- Hello.
- Jessie, Bert, Terry.
- How do you do?
- Hello, Terry.
- I'm glad to know all of you.
Mr. Kalmar, I wanna tell you about
that number of yours, it's just terrif.
- It's sensashe.
- Thanks. You certainly sang it.
Oh, thank you.
Of course, Snooky rehearsed me in it.
- Snooky?
- Snooky.
This is Snooky.
- Hi, Snooky.
- Oh, she calls me Snooky.
Isn't he sweet?
Oh, I could just eat him up.
- Light me, please?
- I beg your pardon?
- Light me?
- Oh, yeah, of course. Sure.
Oh, that's terrif.
Do you know any more tricks?
Yeah. l...
I understand congratulations
are in order, Miss Lordel.
Oh, well, thank you,
but I haven't got the part yet.
She's trying out for a part
in the Follies.
- Well, I really meant about you and Harry.
- Oh, Harry.
I thought you weren't
gonna tell anybody yet.
They're my best friends,
I've got to tell them.
Oh, that music.
Oh, I've simply got to dance.
- Will you?
- Sure.
Oh, I can't dance in this.
Look, I've got to change.
Now, you be sitting right there
when I get back.
You hear?
Bye.
What do you think of her?
Well, she's very peppy, isn't she?
Yeah, she's got a lot of life.
Boys. That's Phil Goodman
I'm sitting with...
...the big theatrical producer.
He loved your song
and he wants it for his new show.
- Yeah?
- And that's not all.
He wants you
to write the whole score.
- A Broadway show?
- Sure.
Words and music by Kalmar and Ruby.
Who did it, huh? Who did it?
- Let me shake the hand of the man...
- Terry. Terry singing our song.
That's who did it.
Oh, Bert.
You're here with me
I'm here with you
We need no secret rendezvous
We'll find romance
Where e'er we chance
To be
The sweetest theme
Runs through my dream
Each night I seem to see
A home for two
In view for you
And me
- She could do the Phyllis part.
- Yeah.
What is your name again?
- Eileen Percy.
- Any experience, Miss Percy?
- Stock mostly, two seasons.
- I'd like you to read something for us.
If you can handle lines,
I'd say the part's yours.
- Thank you.
- Mr. Goodman!
Mr. Goodman, boy, are we in luck.
I just found out
that Terry Lordel is available.
Terry Lordel?
Yeah, that girl at the club
the other night.
She's just a singer.
She can sing. She can act.
She can do anything.
She'd be great for the Phyllis part.
Wouldn't she, Bert?
- I don't know, Harry.
- Let her read the part, that's all I ask.
- When could you get her in?
- Anytime. Hey, Terry!
Come in here!
All alone Monday
Singing the blues
All alone Tuesday
Reading the news
Staring and blinking
Sitting there thinking
All alone
On the shelf Wednesday
Till the dawn comes
By myself Thursday
Twirling my thumbs
Friday is my day
So I spend Friday all alone
On Saturday I
Dread the coming of Sunday
Monday the week starts anew
I'm certain I could endure
The week to the end
And I am sure
The days that I spend
Wouldn't be lonely
If I were only all alone
With you
You're the understudy, huh?
It must be a pretty tough job.
You're so anxious to get out there.
I wouldn't worry,
you'll get your chance.
- Well, I've already had my chance.
- How's that?
Well, I almost had a good part once,
but they gave it to someone else.
Oh, that's a shame.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Somebody's bound to get sick some night.
- Not her.
- No, not Terry. She's plenty healthy.
Besides, I won't be here much longer.
I'm going out to Hollywood.
Well, movies, huh?
Well, I wish you all the luck
in the world.
Thanks.
Ever anything I can do,
let me know.
That's very nice of you, Mr. Ruby.
Good night.
Good night.
- Nice going, Terry.
- Oh, thank you, Mr. Kalmar.
Snooky.
Oh, fine.
- How's the third act coming?
- It isn't.
- I'm worried about him.
- Who, Snooky?
That girl is all wrong for him.
She'll ruin his life.
He's pretty crazy about her.
He's not responsible.
He ought to be chained up someplace.
You know, if Harry left town for a while
that girl would be engaged...
...to four different fellas
within a week.
Maybe we could get him out of town.
How?
Ship him off to boarding school?
He's a big boy now.
Wears long pants.
Could Al Schacht help?
Al Schacht?
That friend of Harry's,
the big-league pitcher.
Al Schacht is down in Florida
with the team.
How could he help?
- Well, he could ask Harry...
- Wait a minute.
I'll get Al to invite Harry down to Florida
to work out with the Senators.
- Bert, that's exactly what I was saying...
- Say, that's an inspiration.
Western Union, please.
Why didn't I think of it before?
I really wouldn't know.
- Hey, Al, get a load of this.
- Let's see it.
Hey, Ruby, take it easy, will you?
Come on, Al. Throw a fast one.
Well, throw a slow one.
- Hey, Harry!
- What's the matter?
- You all right, huh?
- Hey, Harry.
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
- You all right, Harry?
- I feel fine.
- How are you feeling there?
- Hey.
- Come on, I'll get it.
- Play ball. Play ball.
Hit it!
Nice going.
Come on, Ruby!
You moved it.
Lay out. I'll take this one.
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Sure you're okay?
Harry, want to try it again?
- Harry!
- Bert. How are you?
- You look great.
- I feel great.
- Had a good time, huh?
- A little charley horse there.
Where's Terry?
Didn't she get my wire?
Come here, I got news for you.
- She isn't sick?
- No.
- She's married.
- Well, that's good.
Married?
- When?
- Saturday night after the show.
Went to Greenwich
with a saxophone player.
- I guess I shouldn't have left town.
- You made a wrong move, son.
- Want a drink?
- Yeah.
- What will it be?
- Grape juice, please.
Make it two.
Not to change the subject...
...but I've been kind of busy
while you were away.
- Saturday night, huh?
- Yeah. Look.
- What's this?
- Play. My play. I finished it.
Oh, swell, Bert.
- They went to Greenwich, huh?
- Yeah. I want you to read it, Harry.
- I'd like your opinion.
- Sure.
I'm gonna produce it myself.
I'm putting up part of the cash.
I got a broker from Wall Street
putting up the rest.
A saxophone player, huh?
You're not gonna let
this thing throw you.
Because if you are,
I'm gonna feel terrible.
Oh, why should you feel terrible, Bert?
You had nothing to do with it.
A saxophone player.
I haven't slept a wink
since I read it.
Look, Charlie,
I don't know anything about plays...
...but do you think Bert
ought to produce this himself?
- Nobody else will handle it.
- What do you mean?
- This script been around to regular producers?
- Sure.
- What do they say?
- Nothing much.
A couple of them say
it will be a sure-fire flop.
Well, did you tell Bert?
- You tell him.
- Oh, fine. That's all I'd have to do.
Look, I'm not worried
about the dough he'll lose.
I'm thinking of Bert, his pride.
He's higher than a kite on this thing,
and if it flops, he'll never get over it.
- Well, what do you want from me?
- I...
Look, can Bert handle this
without that Wall Street guy?
- Not a chance.
- Well, then, call him off.
Tell him the play is no good.
Get him to pull out.
Harry, I can't.
If Bert is gonna fall on his face,
maybe we just better let him.
He wouldn't let it happen to me.
Look, get that broker on the phone.
I'll talk to him myself.
What do you mean, he pulled out?
- Why would he pull out now?
- Bert, please.
All I know is that he's out,
he doesn't want any part of it.
Well, I'm still asking you why.
Maybe Mr. Miller just decided
he didn't like the play anymore.
- Was that it, Charlie?
- Yeah, just about.
He's a broker.
What does he know about plays?
Listen, I spent a lot of time
on that thing.
It's not the first play I've written.
I've done six plays.
I tore them up because
they weren't what I wanted.
Now I've got something, I know it.
And a broker says it's no good.
Oh, I thought
it was your first play, Bert.
He hasn't talked much about it,
but he's worked very hard.
Well, I'm no broker, but...
Well, anything I've got,
you're welcome to, you know that.
No, no, no. It's all right, forget it.
I gotta go along.
I've gotta catch an act at the Fordham.
- So long, Bert.
- So long, Charlie.
- Harry.
- I'll see you later, Charlie.
Oh, look, Bert. Now, you're not gonna let
this thing lick you, are you?
Because if you do,
it's gonna lick me too.
I'd feel awful.
Why should you feel awful?
Is it your fault a broker doesn't know
a good play when he sees it?
Try it this way:
- That ought to fix it.
- I don't think so.
- Too many notes.
- It's not too many notes. Look...
Hey, fellas, can we borrow
your piano just a minute?
Well, listen.
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you alone
I wanna be kissed by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be kissed by you alone
Yeah. Come on. Come with us.
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you alone
I wanna be kissed by you
Just you and nobody else but you
Oh, I wanna be kissed by you alone
I couldn't aspire
To anything higher
Than fill a desire
To make you my own
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
Oh, I wanna be loved by you alone
I couldn't aspire
To anything higher
Than fill a desire
To make you my own
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you
Don't know the time
Day or the season
I just know that I'm
Losin' my reason
By fallin' in love
Don't know the time
Day or the season
I just know that I'm
Losin' my reason
By fallin' in love
And since I'm in love
I'm up in the clouds
- Harry, what is it?
- Hey. What's the matter?
Steward said you wanted to see me.
- You all right?
- Sure, I'm fine.
Remember those lyrics
you wrote for Jessie?
I think I got a tune for them.
"Thinking of You."
- You wrote it for me, Bert?
- Yeah. Yeah.
I wanted to surprise you,
but not at 2:00 in the morning.
I thought you'd be interested.
Go ahead, Jessie, sing it.
Why is it I spend the day
Wake up and end the day
Thinking of you?
Oh, why does it do this
To me?
Is it such bliss
To be
Thinking of you?
And when I fall asleep at night
It seems
You just tiptoe
Into all my dreams
So I
Think of no other one
Ever since I've begun
Thinking of you
Oh, Bert.
- Nice tune, Harry.
- Oh, Harry, it's wonderful.
Thanks.
Thank you for the song, Bert.
It's beautiful.
You know, Harry never wrote
a melody like that before.
He must be in love or something.
Why does he have to be in love?
Songwriting is a business.
You could write a love song
in a subway train.
Not a love song like that.
You have to feel it.
Didn't you?
Oh, I think of you once in a while.
Thank you, darling.
All the same,
I still think Harry's in love.
Don't be silly. Just because
he writes a romantic tune...
...that doesn't mean he has to be
Beethoven. Any good songwriter can...
Don't look now,
but here comes Beethoven.
And Capri was impossible.
Actually impossible.
Pepi, dear, be a good little sweetheart
and run along.
Al Schacht.
Go on home.
Back to third.
Go on home.
Back to third.
Go on home.
Back to third.
Al.
Get her up there, Al.
Higher.
Thank you.
- What about you, Harry?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- Give me the ball.
All right. Lift her up.
Higher.
Higher!
- Thank you!
- Oh, wait a minute.
You all right?
Yes. Okay.
- Ball took a bad hop.
- A bad hop. A bad hop.
We go to rehearsal in two weeks.
What do I tell Sam Harris?
The ball took a bad hop?
He'll be delighted.
You and your baseball. Every time
I turn around, you're playing baseball.
- That's for kids. Kid stuff!
- Well, I suppose magic's for grownups.
- What's magic got to do with it?
- Here, pick a card. Pick a card.
Don't let me see which one you take.
Ace of clubs? Right? Correct.
Hooray!
It's not the same thing at all.
We have no regular partnership.
- lf one of us breaks this up, it's okay.
- It's all right with me too.
- Then that's understood!
- Okay!
Okay, okay!
Now, play this thing again.
No, don't play it. Sing it.
Hooray for Captain Spalding
The African explorer
Did someone call me schnorrer?
- Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
- Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
How do you think it's going, Bert?
Pretty good so far.
- Walk around. See what they're saying.
- Okay.
- Wonderful first act, Mr. Ruby.
- Thank you.
Oh, hello. Hello there.
You don't remember me, do you?
Sure. You...
- The understudy in The Ramblers.
- That's right.
Last time we met,
you were on your way to Hollywood.
How did you make out? All right?
- Pretty well.
- All right. Good.
Bert and I are thinking about going out...
Bert, you remember Miss...
- How do you do?
- Yes. How are you, Mr. Kalmar?
They're figuring on making a movie
out of The Ramblers.
That's wonderful.
You must look me up.
We sure will.
- They're taking our picture.
- Yes.
One more, please.
Thank you.
The show must be okay,
they're taking our picture.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
What do you mean,
taking our picture?
- I don't suppose you know who that is.
- Don't you remember her?
She was the understudy
in The Ramblers. Nice kid.
- You ought to see more movies.
- Why?
Come here, son.
See that sign?
There's your understudy.
She's a movie star?
Oh, she must think I'm crazy.
Wait a minute.
Now, how could anyone
possibly think you're crazy?
Oh, come on.
I love you so much
I can't conceal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
Yeah, it's all right. It's all right.
- You got any other tunes?
- Let me see.
I got something that'll fit.
Of course, you have to take off one word
to make it "I love you so."
Let's hear it.
I love you so
I can't conceal it
It's a wonder that you don't feel it
I love...
Harry, cut it out, will you? For the last time,
I'm telling you, lay off that tune.
What's the matter with it?
He's been trying to sell it to me
once a week since we met.
I can't help it, Bert.
I can't think of a title.
How can anybody ever think of a title
for that thing?
- Oh, that's a nice title.
- What else can you say?
- Play that other thing.
- You don't like it.
I love it, I'm crazy about it.
Play it, will you?
Who do you think's gonna
be in our picture?
- Who?
- That understudy.
I love you so much
I can't conceal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
I love you so much
My eyes reveal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
I've decided that I am through
With all this rambling about
I don't know what I'd ever do
Without you
I'm telling you
I love you so much
I can't conceal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
- We love you so much
- I don't believe it
We can't conceal it
We love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
- We love you so much
- I can't believe it
Our eyes reveal it
We love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
Now, I've decided that I am through
With all this rambling about
We don't know what we'd ever do
Without you
You're telling me
We love you so much
- I can't believe it
- We can't conceal it
We love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
- Because you love me so
- Because we love you so
Cut! Get a lily.
Print three and four.
- That was very nice, Eileen.
- Thank you.
- Sounded swell, Eileen.
- Thanks.
Don't you ever get tired
of watching this?
Not the way you do it.
You should've been the star
in the Broadway version.
- Oh, I don't know.
- Yes.
- You really think so?
- Sure. She'd have been great.
Why don't you go out
and get a cup of coffee?
- Who wants coffee?
- Coffee's good for you sometimes.
My crazy friend Kendall The Great.
I mean it. How did we happen
to pass you by?
- Well, it's a long story.
- I'm interested.
He's interested.
Well, I tried out for the part.
It was practically all set.
And a fellow brought in another girl.
A very pretty girl.
- He was a songwriter.
- Named Snooky?
- That's right.
- Snooky?
Whoever heard
of a songwriter named...
Snoo... Me?
Oh, you mean that girl l...
You're a magician.
Make me disappear.
I can't forget
The night we met
- It looks lovely, Lennie.
- Thank you.
I'll let you know when to light it
and bring it in.
The moon lit up the sky
And love lit up your eye
I kissed you once
I kissed you twice
And I held you gently
That night upon
The shores of Araby
- All right, so I wrote a lyric once.
- Oh, no, you didn't.
"My Sunny Tennessee"
was a great song.
This is a very happy,
happy anniversary.
Happy days.
- Get our boy here.
- I'm celebrating with my friends.
You know, this is the third time
in my life I've had more than one drink.
- Very interesting.
- Yes, it is. Come here, Charlie.
Very interesting.
- I didn't say anything wrong.
- No, you said nothing at all.
Well, it's a great privilege
to be with you boys tonight.
And I mean that.
- And I can say it in this room.
- It's a nice room.
You fellows have written
lots of songs together.
But more than that,
you've been friends.
That's the most important thing
in the world, are friends.
- Shall I put some bicarbonate in this?
- It wouldn't hurt.
You know, you've got a friend,
and you've got a friend.
And that's what I'd like to see.
Friends.
Very funny.
We'll spot it in our next picture.
- Here.
- Hey, look at that, huh?
Here, drink this.
Hey, I was just thinking.
The time Harry called Tony Miller.
You said, "Mr. Miller,
if you back that play...
...you're gonna be the brokest broker
that ever stepped on Broadway."
- Remember?
- Yeah.
What play was that?
Your play. You wrote it.
And your friend got you out of it.
And we went up to see him.
And when we told you...
...I will never forget
the expression on your face...
...as long as I live.
Believe me, I'll never forget it.
Oh, hey, Bert,
that was a long time ago.
I think I better get some coffee.
Charlie's got the talkers.
Just kidding, huh?
No, I always meant
to tell you about it, Bert...
...but I just never got around to it.
I can understand that.
What was on your mind, Harry,
when you crabbed that deal for me?
- What do you think?
- I'm asking.
Well, I didn't want you to flop.
That play wasn't too good, Bert.
You decided that.
Oh, why not? You're an expert.
Now, wait a minute. You're not gonna
pull a peeve after all these years.
- What do you expect me to do?
- All right, I was wrong.
I just didn't want you to get hurt.
That's very touching.
Well, why else would I do it?
Whatever the reason,
you had a sweet nerve.
What do you mean,
"whatever the reason"?
All I know is I wanted something
very much.
And now I find out
my partner did me out of it.
Well, I told you why, I was worried.
About me or yourself?
Oh, sure. Now I get it.
You think I didn't want you
to have that play.
I was scared the play might click
and bust up our partnership...
...and I couldn't lean on you anymore.
Is that what you meant?
If I believed that,
I couldn't be any sorer than I am now.
But you do believe it.
You must think I needed you
pretty badly.
You must have thought so.
Not that badly.
Look, I'm not forgetting anything.
I know what I was
when I ran into you:
A song-plugger.
But even without you,
I might have gotten somewhere.
It's just possible.
All by myself.
It's not too late to try.
Harry. Bert. Come on,
it's time to cut the cake.
Come on. Everybody's waiting.
Harry. Bert.
- Come on.
- Make a wish.
- Make a wish.
- Make a wish, come on.
Hello, hello. Bert? Marty.
Say, some of the boys down here
got ahold of a screwy item...
...for tomorrow's issue. Listen:
"Kalmar and Ruby split.
Songwriting team are calling it quits
after a long and successful partnership.
Understood Kalmar will devote his time
to stories and screenplay writing."
Say, will you tell the boys
they're crazy?
Okay, Bert.
Sorry.
Print it.
Nice tune.
- Have you got any lyrics for it?
- No.
No words.
Ever hear from Bert?
No. He's writing those scripts.
Doing real well, they tell me.
You know,
Bert's really a smart fella.
Oh, that's nice too.
That's one of the nicest
melodies you've ever written, Harry.
It's always been my favorite.
It seems
You just tiptoe
Into all my dreams
So I
Think of no other one
Ever since I've begun
Thinking of you
It's different from the rest.
You must've been very much in love
when you wrote this one.
Well...
You wanna know something?
I think I wrote it too soon.
- Morning.
- Morning, Jess.
- Been working all night?
- Most of it.
There's a review
of your picture in here.
- Oh, what did they say?
- You're a big man this morning.
"The story by Bert Kalmar
is thoroughly enjoyable.
The dialogue neat and deftly turned."
- How's that?
- Let me see it. I love good notices.
Hey, did you see this?
They flew to Yuma last night.
She's a very nice girl, Bert.
Yeah.
Well, we didn't have to wire
Al Schacht this time, did we?
You didn't eat a thing.
I wasn't hungry.
- Just tired, huh?
- Oh, a little bit.
You are my lucky star
I saw you from afar
And so, ladies and gentlemen...
...we bring to a close another issue
of The Songwriters' Parade.
Tonight's honored guests were
Arthur Freed and Nacio Herb Brown.
We'll be back again next week
to pay tribute once again...
... to the men
who write America's songs.
At that time we'll be happy to present
as our guests...
... Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.
Is that Phil Regan out of his mind
or something?
I don't know.
Whoever told him
to announce a thing like that?
A personal appearance.
- There's nothing so terrible about it.
- Nothing so terrible?
A radio show with two people
who don't talk to each other?
- I wanna get that Regan on the phone.
- No. You can't do that.
- Why not?
- Because...
If Phil Regan was nice enough
to think of you...
...the least you can do is to be there.
I'll take that.
He ought to know better...
...than to announce a thing like that
without checking first.
What kind of a business is this?
- Kalmar and Ruby, he said.
- Hello?
- Kalmar and Ruby.
- Oh, hello, Eileen.
Like we were brothers or something.
- Well, I don't know.
- That doesn't mean I have to go.
- He ought to stop thinking...
- How's it going at your house?
- Well, hold on.
- This will be a great show. Great.
How can they do a thing like this?
I didn't okay it.
Tell him to get another voice
because I'm not gonna be there.
Bert won't be there either.
What do they expect me to do...
...play the piano while Bert makes
a microphone disappear?
It's a little early to tell yet, Jessie.
I know what you mean.
Keep your fingers crossed.
Who told them to do it?
Who put them up to it?
- lf they ever find out that we did this...
- What kind of routine are we supposed to do?
An argument for the benefit
of our audience?
Look, Eileen, I'll call you back later.
We're on the air, boys, shake hands.
Come out fighting.
Oh, come on, Harry.
Ah, this whole thing's silly.
I don't like it, Eileen.
Oh, I know.
In a way it is embarrassing.
But after all, Regan
was nice enough to think of you.
The very least you can do
is be there.
- Eileen, Harry!
- Jessie, how are you?
How are you, Eileen?
You look wonderful. I'll take your hat.
- Hello, Bert.
- Hello, Eileen.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Pull up a stool.
- Oh, thanks.
Well, it looks like
we're stuck with this thing.
I guess so.
Got any ideas what we might do?
I found one of the old routines.
It might be okay.
That thing we did
at the Friars, remember?
Sure.
Oh, sure. Sure. This is okay.
Want to rehearse?
Oh, I know the music.
You know the words?
Yeah, I know the words.
Well, I guess
we don't have to rehearse.
I guess not.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow night,
I guess.
I guess so.
Oh, say...
I caught your picture the other night.
Nice job.
It's all right, I guess.
I hear you've been knocking out
good tunes lately.
Oh, I've been kicking it
around a little.
You got anything?
Sure. Sure, I've got one little tune
I've been working on.
Of course, you won't like it.
- What won't I like?
- What I got.
- I haven't heard it yet.
- Okay.
- Sounds vaguely familiar.
- Well, I told you you wouldn't like it.
I never said that. It's a nice tune,
a very nice tune.
You never got a title for it, huh?
No, in fact, never did.
There was "La-Da-Dee-Da"
and "Beep-Beep-A-Deep."
That's about all we got.
Let's see. We ought to get something
for a tune like that.
Play that first part, will you?
Oh me, oh my
No. That's no good.
You know, that's not a bad tune.
- I could've been wrong about it.
- Well, you usually weren't.
Well, let me see.
I love you so
No, that's that thing we had before.
We'll get it. We'll get something.
Yeah, we'll get it.
Do you want to work on it?
We could knock it off this afternoon.
- Okay. Let's knock it off.
- All right.
I can't this afternoon. I just remembered
there's a double-header at Wrigley Field.
It's not that I wanna go.
You see, I promised a fella...
- I see. Baseball is more important.
- No. No, I'll work with you tonight.
All night if you want to.
All right, if you want to.
No, wait a minute, I can't.
I've got a meeting tonight.
The magician's club.
The magician's club?
- Yeah.
- You've gotta do tricks, huh?
- No, I don't gotta do tricks.
- Yeah, you gotta make rabbits disappear.
No, I don't have to make rabbits
disappear. I'm the president.
- Well, hooray!
- Yeah, hooray.
You should talk.
The nation's number one baseball fan.
- "Take him out. Take him out."
- Now it's my fault.
- I was willing to work.
- You don't want to work.
- You never wanted to work.
- What do you mean?
Every time I wanna do something,
you're catching flies.
- Don't talk about me.
- I'll talk about you.
What about you,
that sleight-of-hand stuff?
That dangling ropes in the air,
pulling cigars out of your ears?
- Yeah?
- That's important for kids.
- For kids?
- Yeah, for kids!
I better get him out of here.
This is what I've been waiting for.
Come, sit down.
Keep your voice down.
I didn't wanna work, he says.
What about you?
I wouldn't write that song
if you begged me.
- Begged you? I didn't even ask you.
- I guess you just can't help it, Harry.
I feel sorry for you.
You feel sorry for me?
You must think I'm just...
I can tell you what I think of you
in three little words:
You're a dope!
"You're a dope."
Bert called me
three little words, "You're a dope."
You are a dope
Three little words
Three little words
It fits. Hey, Bert! Bert!
This is my house.
Why should I walk out?
- You got it, Bert, the title of the song.
- What?
"Three Little Words." You got it.
You better hurry.
You might miss the baseball game.
Oh, anytime you're ready to go,
Eileen. I'm ready.
- Bye, Jessie.
- Bye, Harry.
- Bye, Eileen.
- Bye, Jessie.
Good evening. We're here tonight to pay
tribute to two great pals of mine.
I know they've turned out many,
many hits together.
I'm sure you've whistled their tunes
and danced to their tunes...
...but I know you're gonna get a big kick
out of meeting them in person tonight.
None other than Bert Kalmar and...
And Harry Ruby.
- Hello, Harry. Bert, how are you?
- How are you, Phil?
Here they are, ladies and gentlemen,
going to sing a medley of their hit tunes.
I wanna be in Tennessee
In my Dixie paradise
An angel's voice I hear
I mean my mammy dear
And then we wrote...
- Who's sorry now?
- Who's sorry now?
- Who's sorry now?
- Who's sorry?
- I tried to warn you somehow
- I tried to warn you somehow
And then came...
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you alone
And then we sat down and wrote...
Why is it I spend the day
Wake up and end the day
Thinking of you?
And then we stood up and wrote...
So long, Oo-long
How long you going to roam?
Please don't be too long
Oo-long, so long
Hurry back home
Maybe I'm right
And maybe I'm wrong
And maybe I'm weak
And maybe I'm strong
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
Maybe I'll win
And maybe I'll...
Oh, that's enough of that.
How would you like
to hear a brand-new song?
One we just wrote yesterday.
Well, not exactly yesterday.
As a matter of fact,
it took us about 10 years.
Phil, if you please?
Three little words
Oh, what I'd give for
That wonderful phrase
To hear those
Three little words
That's all I'd live for
The rest of my days
And what I feel in my heart
They tell sincerely
No other words
Can tell it half so clearly
Three little words
Eight little letters
Which simply mean
I love you
Wonderful, Bert, wonderful.
Thank you, Harry. Wonderful. Very good.
And now, we'll leave you
with three little words: let's all dance.
Three little words
Oh, what I'd give for
That wonderful phrase
To hear those
Three little words
- Sorry.
- Darling.
- It was just wonderful.
- Bert, it was wonderful.
Harry, I always knew
that was a great tune.
No other words
Can tell it half so clearly
Three little words
Eight little letters
Which simply mean
I love you
[ENGLISH]
Oh, you lucky devil
Where did you get that girl?
Tell me on the level
Have you ever kissed her?
If she has a sister
Lead me, lead me
Lead me to her mister
Gee, I wish that I had a girl
I'd love her, I'd love her
Oh, goodness, how I'd love her
If you can find another
I'll take her home to Mother
Where? Where?
Where did you get that girl?
Five bows and an encore.
Not bad for a Tuesday night, huh?
They loved you, Jess.
Come on, I'll buy you a steak.
Hey, wait. I wanna watch
Mendoza's opening trick.
- What, again?
- Hi, Jess.
Bert, big news.
I just closed the deal for you.
Eighty weeks solid
on the Orpheum time.
Two seasons straight.
How do you like that?
Watch this. It's terrific.
Here's your new song.
Hot off the presses.
"'Where Did You Get That Girl? '
Words by Bert Kalmar...
...co-author of 'Hello, Hawaii,'
'Oh! What a Pal Was Mary."'
- Am I an agent?
- Yeah, yeah. Now, look.
- Hey, what's going on?
- Magic is going on.
Come in.
- Oh, I thought you'd be dressed by now.
- Jess, listen. Come here.
I've got a great idea,
an opening for the new act.
I come out in one, see?
I'm a magician.
- Oh, a magician.
- Yeah.
I'm in a full dress suit,
medals on my chest...
...maybe a mustache
and a little goatee.
Yes, I adore little goatees.
And you come on as my assistant.
I hand you my gloves...
Hey, wait a minute.
- You're not walking out on me, are you?
- Not yet.
- What you open the door for?
- Because I'm a nice girl, Mr. Kalmar.
And a nice girl
always leaves the door open.
You know, we could fix all that
so you won't have to worry about doors.
We could get married.
I'd like that.
Maybe someday
when you're not so rushed, Bert.
So you don't have to propose
in short pants.
Listen, Jess, I'm not kidding.
Neither am I.
You're too busy, Bert.
A big headliner, important songwriter.
A magician.
Now you're writing a play.
You want to be everything
in show business all at once.
And I just want to be a wife.
You couldn't light in one spot
long enough for the ceremony.
Okay, Jess.
But if you ever do decide to marry me,
you'll speak right up, won't you?
You'll be the first to know.
Thanks, Jess.
Well, what about that magic idea?
Well, what's the matter?
- Just a couple of tricks for an opening?
- And for a finish, you saw me in half.
Next thing you know,
you'll be doing a single.
"Kalmar The Magnificent."
Maybe you think I couldn't.
- Maybe I'll surprise you.
- Nothing you did would surprise me.
You know, sometimes I think
you'd rather be a bad magician...
...than a good actor.
- How do I look?
- Beautiful.
- Do I need a flower?
- What for?
I think I need a flower.
- Pretty fancy, huh?
- Just wonderful.
- Telephone, Mr. Kalmar.
- Okay.
Be right back.
Clanahan's Paradise,
the best beer on the island.
See Kendall The Great,
miracles and marvels of magic.
And appearing on the stage right now,
The Four Little Boys in Gray.
Fifteen acts of...
Jimmy O'Leary said I've got a theory
She's different from all of your girls
She's not a queen
Like you see on the screen
And she ain't got
No diamonds or pearls
But she's mine, all mine
Giants 4, Philadelphia 2.
End of the seventh.
I told her I worked in a glue factory
And that's how she happened
To get stuck on me
- I'll take over.
- Thanks.
And she's mine, all mine
- Hey, Ruby.
- Yes, sir?
- Where you going?
- This is my supper hour.
I thought I'd go out for a catch.
Yeah? Well, take it on the hop
to dressing room four.
Kendall The Great needs an assistant.
Say, Mr. Clanahan, would you mind...
...if I asked one of the acts
to sing a song that I wrote?
It's called "On the Shores of Araby."
It goes like this:
I can't forget the night we met
On the shores of Araby
The moon lit up the sky
And love lit up your eyes
I kissed you once
I kissed you twice
As I held you gently
That night upon the shores of Araby
- I never...
- You wrote that?
Yes, sir. Words and music both.
Well, take it on the hop
to dressing room four.
Kendall The Great needs an assistant.
Yes, sir.
Come in.
Mr. Kendall?
Ebbetts Field is that way.
No, I'm your assistant.
Mr. Clanahan said.
Okay. Take those boxes backstage
and pile them up behind the drapes.
Yes, sir.
Now, when I'm on,
I'll give you signal like this:
Whenever you hear that
you take the top box...
...shove an animal through the hole in the
drapes and into the back of the table. Got it?
Animals, huh?
- I want them in just that order.
- Yeah.
Don't fool around with that goose.
He's vicious.
Well, they usually are.
Ladies and gentlemen,
since time began...
...man has placed his trust
in the witch doctor...
...the sorcerer and the voodoo.
Who dares to call them frauds?
Watch carefully, please.
Is this trickery or magic?
Now, I have here
a gentleman's ordinary silk hat.
As you can plainly see...
...there are no secret pockets
and no hidden springs.
I place the hat on the table.
Go on, get in there.
Go on, what are you waiting for?
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the identical hat.
I'll fill it from this pitcher of water.
Like this.
Is this trickery or magic?
- Oh, look, a goose.
- Now, but don't go near him. He's vicious.
Look.
I would like your attention, please.
Watch carefully.
Now think of a card.
Any card in the deck.
A scientific exhibition
of mind over matter.
For my next deception,
I have here a little handkerchief...
What's going on...?
I'll be right back, Mr. Clanahan.
- You see a goose go by here?
- I saw a lot of them down there.
Watch carefully, please.
Ordinary hat. Ordinary drinking water.
I pour it in the hat like this:
Place it on my head like that.
- Where is he? Where is he?
- Just a minute, you.
That baseball player,
if I ever lay my hands on him...
Get out of my theater
and don't ever come back.
I ought to sue you
for that performance.
I ought to take you to court,
you small-time swami.
Oh, shut up.
- Hello.
- What are you doing here?
Charlie traced you for me.
Nice comedy routine, Bert.
That maniac in a baseball hat.
I was going great until then.
- I had them right there, I was killing them.
- Listen to him.
Every theater in the country
is waiting for Kalmar and Brown...
...but Kendall The Great is killing them
in Coney Island at 5 bucks a night.
What were you trying to prove?
That we ought to use magic in the act?
Not necessarily.
You know what magic is to me.
- It's a hobby. It relaxes me.
- You look relaxed.
Come in.
- Say, a couple of them got away.
- Get out of here!
Bert Kalmar.
That's Bert Kalmar, the songwriter.
Say, Mr. Clanahan, that's Bert Kalmar.
- I saw him at the Palace.
- Yeah. I heard you tell the rabbit.
I recognized him without his mustache.
Sure, sure. Here, son.
And don't look
for another job right away.
Just take a nice, long rest.
Thank you. Thank you.
Now, with your kind indulgence
we'd like to show you what happens...
...when two dancers get married.
Mr. and Mrs. Hoofer at home.
Thank you.
They loved you, Jess.
See them applaud?
- Bert, I was so nervous.
- So was I. You know...
- Sorry, Mr. Kalmar.
- My fault.
Flowers for you.
Oh, they're beautiful.
Who are they from?
The president and I. We chipped in.
- Bert, what is it?
- I don't know.
"Kalmar and Brown, who opened
their new act to bravos last month...
...have been cancelled
following an accident backstage.
Doctors say Kalmar
will not be able to dance...
...for at least a year, possibly two."
I couldn't think of a tougher break.
It's Jessie I'm thinking about.
She can't just sit around waiting.
When you lay off too long,
they think you're through.
And I'm not gonna let that
happen to her.
Now, why can't she just pick up another
partner and take out the same act?
Bert, I told you,
the act needs your name.
She wouldn't make the expenses.
- You sunk a lot of dough into it, huh?
- Not much. Just everything I own.
- Hello.
- Hi, Jess.
- Hello.
- I've ordered breakfast.
- How are you, Charlie?
- Good.
- Hey, doughnuts?
- Sure.
Why did you have to go shopping?
No room service?
I figured we'd save the tip.
That wolf at the door
might get pretty hungry.
I've got to catch a rehearsal
down at Loew's.
- I'll see you, Jess. Bert.
- Bye, Charlie.
See you later.
Come here, honey.
Now, listen. That crack about
the wolf at the door, that's out, see?
- You won't be around to meet him.
- No?
I've been talking to Charlie.
We figured you ought to go out as a single.
I can write a new routine.
Charlie guarantees the booking,
says it's a cinch.
You boys have been
wasting your time.
My plans are all set.
I always told you
if ever I changed my mind...
...you'd be the first to know.
Of course, it took a broken kneecap
to make you stop bouncing long enough.
But I'm satisfied.
Say, maybe you didn't hear me.
I just accepted your proposal.
Look, Jess...
I won't be bouncing
for a long time yet.
And a fellow with a wife to support
has to get around pretty fast, you know.
Well, I'm not a girl
that needs a new sable every winter.
What about your writing, Bert?
Your play, your songs?
You don't have to click your heels
in the air to write a lyric.
Now, wait a minute.
I'd like to write a great play, sure.
Who wouldn't?
And those songs,
they're just a sideline for fun.
I never tried to make a living at it.
I'm not even sure I can.
Until I find out, l...
You don't want me
hanging around your neck.
Is that it?
I didn't say that.
Now, don't be sore at me, huh?
I'm not sore.
But it isn't every day
that a girl gets turned down.
Jessie, listen. Listen. Jessie!
Jessie!
Wish you could write
another song like that.
- I could sure use it.
- I'll tell you a secret, Al.
- So could I.
- Well, what's the matter?
Oh, I don't know.
I just haven't hit on anything.
- I can't seem to get started.
- Oh, you will.
What do you hear from Jessie?
Oh, she framed a new act. Doing fine.
Say, what is that?
One of your new ones?
That?
Some Arabian song
one of our pluggers wrote.
Plays it all day long,
drives me nuts.
Get me Harry Ruby.
I think I'll throw him out of here.
Arabian song, huh?
Not a bad tune.
Yeah, it is kind of catchy.
Hello, Ruby, come in here, son.
Let you talk to him.
You know, an Araby song
might be just the thing right now.
- Yes, chief?
- Oh, come in, Ruby.
Bert, this is Harry Ruby.
- Bert Kalmar.
- Hi.
Ruby, Mr. Kalmar wants to hear
that Arabian song of yours.
Yes. You bet. Yes, sir.
It's called
"On the Shores of Araby That Night..."
"That Night With You."
I can't forget the night we met
On the shores of Araby
The moon lit up the sky
And love lit up your eye
- Hold it, wait a minute.
- Yeah, hold it.
- Who wrote that lyric?
- Well, I did.
Words and music both.
Well, you know, you haven't got
an Arabian song there.
- You don't think so?
- No.
- Play it again, will you?
- Sure.
No, no. It's more like Dixie.
A Dixie tune.
Maybe Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee.
Sure. Look.
Da-da-da-da in Tennessee
Gee, that's swell, Mr. Kalmar.
Tennessee.
Well, you boys go right ahead.
- Take all day if you want.
- Okay, Al. Great.
Let me see.
Da-da-da-da in Tennessee
Say, don't I know you?
Well, I don't think so, Mr. Kalmar.
Da-da-da-da in Tennessee
Down among...
You worked here long?
Oh, for a couple of months,
Mr. Kalmar.
- Have a cigar.
- Oh, gee, thanks.
I wanna be in Tennessee
That's it. Try it.
I wanna be in Tennessee
That ought to do it.
Here, take it from the top.
I wanna be in Tennessee
In my Dixie paradise
An angel's voice I hear
I mean my mammy dear
I'd give my soul if I could stroll
Down among those hills again
For all the world
Would not be dreary then
I'd love to go to sleep and know
That tomorrow I'd arise
Beneath those southern skies
Where songbirds harmonize
Lordy, hear my plea
Make me what I wanna be
A rolling stone just rolling home
To my sunny Tennessee
Gosh, that's wonderful, Mr. Kendall.
Thanks.
Kendall? Oh, I remember now.
The pigeons, the rabbits.
Oh, I remember you!
Please, Mr. Kendall...
I mean, Mr. Kalmar.
You pin-headed baseball player.
Do you realize what you did that night?
- It was the goose.
- Goose?
Goose? Five hundred people
out front and...
You don't know that goose.
He was the meanest thing...
I knew I remembered that face.
I got a bad feeling the second I saw you.
You're a menace. Run away and hide
before you do real damage.
Let bygones be bygones.
Get away from me. I should
write a song with a jinx like you.
Here. As far as I'm concerned,
it never left Araby.
Goose.
Oh, hello, Mr. Kalmar.
I got your message.
You write this ad?
"The nation's number one song hit,
'My Sunny Tennessee'...
...by that sensational new writing team,
Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby."
- Well, yeah, you see, l...
- Who made you my partner?
- Well, nobody, but...
- Now, listen, kid.
You might as well understand
something right now.
Because I wrote one song with you
doesn't make us roommates.
I'm not teaming up with anybody.
Soon as I can swing this leg again,
I'd be back in vaudeville.
Until then, I'll write with anyone
who happens to have a good tune.
- Now, is that clear?
- Sure, that's very clear, Mr. Kalmar.
Okay.
Where are the doughnuts?
Thanks, Johnnie.
Well, got any new tunes?
As a matter of fact, I've got a tune
but I haven't thought of words for it yet.
Good.
My spikes. Al Schacht gave me those.
Al Schacht.
He's a pitcher in the big league.
Maybe you've heard of him?
Al Schacht?
- Play the tune.
- Sure.
Hey, have you got any
with chocolate on top?
Coming up.
You don't like it, huh?
Sure, sure. It's a nice little tune.
You ought to do something
with it sometime.
You ought to do something
with that shirt too.
Real silk, $4.
You got any other tunes?
Well... Let's see, I...
Well, don't pull a ligament.
You know...
...there hasn't been a good
Japanese song for quite a while.
Got something here
I thought might work out.
I call it "So Long, Oo-long."
I figured the rhythm
is something like this:
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna be gone?
You got something to fit that?
Well, let's see.
How about this?
Wait a minute. Try that again, will you?
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna be gone?
Now, wait a minute.
That's the same tune you just played.
Well, I know it.
Are you trying to put something
over on me?
- Well, no, I thought it would fit.
- Well, it doesn't fit.
What's the matter with you,
you only got one tune?
- I got plenty of tunes in me.
- Well, I've only heard one tune.
Yeah, I know.
Right now, all I got is one rotten tune.
Take it easy, kid.
Now, don't get excited.
- Don't get excited.
- Who's excited? I'm not excited.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll leave this lyric. If you come up
with something, give me a ring.
If you don't, well, don't worry.
See you around.
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna be gone?
Your little Japanee
Will be waiting
Underneath the bamboo tree
So don't be too long, Oo-long
I'll long while you're away
Waiting for the day
When you come back to me
I'll sit and sigh
'Neath the oriental sky
Each day that I
Am left alone
In Nagasaki
So long, Oo-long
How long you gonna roam?
Please don't be too long
Oo-long, so long
Hurry back home
Ming Toy
Loved a boy
Happy little Japanee
Oo-long was his name
Set her heart aflame
- One day, he say
- Soon I got to go away
- When he leave
- Ming Toy grieve
Everybody hear her say
I'll sit and sigh
'Neath the oriental sky
Each day that I
Am left alone
In Nagasaki
So long, Oo-long
How long you going to roam?
Please don't be too long
Oo-long, so long
Hurry back home
- Hi, boys.
- Yes, sir, 10 cents.
Right. We have...
No, no, no. The Palace tonight.
I fixed it with Mrs. Carter DeHaven
to hear your song.
- Well...
- Not that, the new one.
If she likes it,
she'll introduce it next week.
Who's sorry now?
Who's sorry now?
Whose heart is aching
For breaking each vow?
Who's sad and blue?
Who's crying too?
Just like I cried over you
Right to the end
Just like a friend
I tried to warn you
Somehow
You had your way
Now you must pay
I'm glad that you're sorry now
Right to the end
Just like a friend
I tried to warn you
Somehow
You had your way
Now you must pay
I'm glad
That you're sorry now
Oh, that's great.
Looks like another hit.
You're making a habit of it.
- Thank you.
- We'll introduce it next week.
- Oh, good, thanks.
- Oh, Bert, how is your knee?
- Oh, better, better. Thank you.
- Wonderful. I'm glad. Excuse me.
- Boys, it was just great, that's all.
- Bert, swell.
Bert, I want a copy to send on to Jessie.
Can't you hear her sing it?
- Yeah, sure.
- It was like it was written for her.
Oh, I suppose
you haven't heard the news.
- No.
- Well, it's not settled yet.
But she may team up
with Bill Courtney next season.
They'll do an act
like she used to do with you.
Well, it's not definite yet.
They ought to do all right.
He's a very talented guy.
- Yeah.
- See you later, Charlie.
Yeah, yeah. Good night.
Oh, me and my big mouth.
Yeah, he doesn't talk about her
very much anymore.
Hey, where is she playing next week?
- Jessie?
- Yeah.
Montreal, at Queen's Theatre. Why?
I'll see you later.
Where did you get that girl?
Oh, you lucky devil
What's the matter?
Can't a fella dance if he feels like it?
- Well, I didn't say anything.
- What are you gaping at?
I'm not gaping.
I always look this way.
- You hurt your leg again, Bert?
- No. It's all right.
- I just gotta cut out those knee drops.
- Yeah.
You know what I think?
We ought to take a little vacation.
I mean it.
We've been working too hard.
We're tired.
It would do us good.
We could go to Miami Beach
or New Orleans, Hot Springs or Montreal.
Why Montreal?
Oh, no reason. Nice little town.
Might be a nice place to work on
that play you're always talking about.
Besides, I got
some relatives up there...
...and we could get
a good home-cooked meal.
Hey, Harry, I gave you a bum steer.
Jessie is not in Montreal next week,
it's Buffalo.
Oh, thanks.
Well, I got relatives in Buffalo too.
I'm sweet Marie from gay Paris
This is my new car
It fill my heart with joy
To drive a Yankee boy
On the sly I wink my eye
When one come my way
I stop the motorcar
And then I say
Come on, papa
Hop in the motorcar
Sit by mama
And hold the hand
You start to raise for me
What they call the deuce
I'll be so sweet to you
Like the charlotte russe
Come on, papa
Beneath the shining star
Bounce your baby
Upon the knee
I give you the kiss
Like the mamselles do
Each time you ask for one
I give you two
And when you're in the car
You love mama
Ooh la la, ooh la la
Come on, papa
We make love to you
Like you want us to
But if you pooh-pooh me
I pooh-pooh you
But when you're in the car
Don't go too far
- Ooh la la
- Ooh la la
Come on, papa
Thank you.
Thank you.
And for my next number...
Ladies and gentlemen...
...we have two very well-known
songwriters with us tonight.
Mr. Bert Kalmar and Mr. Harry Ruby.
Would you like to hear them
sing one of their numbers?
- Hello, Jess.
- Hello, Bert.
- Hi, Harry.
- Hi, Jessie.
Well, what shall we do?
"Nevertheless"?
Yeah.
Maybe I'm right
And maybe I'm wrong
And maybe I'm weak
And maybe I'm strong
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
Maybe I'll win
And maybe I'll lose
And maybe I'm in
For cryin' the blues
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
- Somehow I know at a glance
- Somehow I know at a glance
- The terrible chances I'm taking
- The terrible chances I'm taking
- Fine at the start
- Fine at the start
- Then left with a heart that is breaking
- Then left with a heart that is breaking
Maybe I'll live a life of regret
And maybe I'll give
Much more than I get
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
What's he gonna do,
go back in vaudeville?
Yeah.
Hold it, Harry!
- Harry, wait!
- Wait!
Early riser, huh?
Ducked out without saying goodbye.
Guys, you both
shouldn't have done this.
- You're on your honeymoon.
- Here's some candy.
- Oh, thanks, Bert.
- And a little fruit.
Oh, well, that will come in handy.
I like a little fruit once in a while.
Do you mind if I kiss the bride?
Bye, Harry.
And thanks for everything.
You know what I mean.
Oh, here, from me to you.
Well, now, thanks.
You shouldn't have done that.
- I wanted to.
- Oh, here's some newspapers.
And read a book sometime.
It might improve your brain.
All aboard!
Well...
We wrote a lot of good songs together,
didn't we, Bert?
- We sure did, Harry.
- Well, bye, Jessie.
- Bye, Harry.
- Bert.
Bye, kid.
And good luck to both of you.
- Good luck to you, kid.
- Don't forget to write.
Yeah, I'll keep in touch
with your bookings through Variety.
- So long.
- Bye-bye.
Not so very hungry this morning, sir?
- No, I'll just have some more coffee.
- And a couple of doughnuts.
- Yeah, a couple of doughnuts.
- Yes, sir.
- Harry.
- You alone? Why don't you join us?
Well, you're in Buffalo.
We canceled Buffalo, we're going
on a honeymoon. Toast, Bert?
Thanks. We've also canceled Syracuse and
Rochester and 40 weeks next season.
That's a long honeymoon.
Where are you going, up the Congo?
We might buy a little house
somewhere and settle down.
- How about Pelham, Bert?
- Pelham's nice. Coffee, dear?
- Yes, warm it.
- Well, what about the team?
Yeah, what about the team?
I don't know. Do you think
it should be Kalmar and Ruby...
...or Ruby and Kalmar?
Either way.
First billing doesn't mean
much to songwriters.
- Cream, dear?
- Yeah, just a little.
You mean you're not gonna do the act,
that the team's Bert and me?
Oh, Jessie, you're wonderful.
Look, it's okay to admire my wife.
Would you mind taking your elbow
out of my butter?
Oh, I'm sorry, Bert.
Oh, gosh.
Wait a minute. Start again, will you?
All alone Monday
Singin' the blues
I'll take it.
Here. Pick a card.
Any one.
- Ten of clubs.
- Yeah, that's all right.
Oh, just a moment, please.
Harry, telephone.
Thanks.
- Hello?
- Girl.
Oh, hello, Terry.
Yeah, I'm still working.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, sure I do.
What?
No. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. Bye.
It was a girl.
- Really?
- We didn't think it was your Uncle Max.
- How long has this been going on?
- Oh, a couple of months.
In fact, we're engaged.
Oh, Harry, that's wonderful.
She's sweet.
I know you'll like her, Jessie.
Why, sure we will.
- Hi.
- Hi, Joe.
All alone Monday
Singin' the blues
Hey, that's our tune.
All alone Tuesday
Reading the news
Say, that redhead's
singing our new song.
That's Terry.
That's Terry?
- Harry, she's beautiful.
- Wait till you meet her.
On the shelf Wednesday
Till the dawn comes
By myself Thursday
Twirlin' my thumbs
Friday is my day
So I spend Friday all alone
On Saturday I
Dread the coming of Sunday
Monday the week starts anew
I'm certain I could endure
The week to the end
And I am sure
The days that I spend
Wouldn't be lonely
If I were only
All alone with you
On Saturday I
Dread the coming of Sunday
Monday the week starts anew
I'm certain I could endure
The week to the end
And I am sure
The days that I spend
Wouldn't be lonely
If I were only all alone
With you
- Hello, honey.
- How are you, dear?
- Miss Lordel, Mr. and Mrs. Kalmar.
- Hello.
- Jessie, Bert, Terry.
- How do you do?
- Hello, Terry.
- I'm glad to know all of you.
Mr. Kalmar, I wanna tell you about
that number of yours, it's just terrif.
- It's sensashe.
- Thanks. You certainly sang it.
Oh, thank you.
Of course, Snooky rehearsed me in it.
- Snooky?
- Snooky.
This is Snooky.
- Hi, Snooky.
- Oh, she calls me Snooky.
Isn't he sweet?
Oh, I could just eat him up.
- Light me, please?
- I beg your pardon?
- Light me?
- Oh, yeah, of course. Sure.
Oh, that's terrif.
Do you know any more tricks?
Yeah. l...
I understand congratulations
are in order, Miss Lordel.
Oh, well, thank you,
but I haven't got the part yet.
She's trying out for a part
in the Follies.
- Well, I really meant about you and Harry.
- Oh, Harry.
I thought you weren't
gonna tell anybody yet.
They're my best friends,
I've got to tell them.
Oh, that music.
Oh, I've simply got to dance.
- Will you?
- Sure.
Oh, I can't dance in this.
Look, I've got to change.
Now, you be sitting right there
when I get back.
You hear?
Bye.
What do you think of her?
Well, she's very peppy, isn't she?
Yeah, she's got a lot of life.
Boys. That's Phil Goodman
I'm sitting with...
...the big theatrical producer.
He loved your song
and he wants it for his new show.
- Yeah?
- And that's not all.
He wants you
to write the whole score.
- A Broadway show?
- Sure.
Words and music by Kalmar and Ruby.
Who did it, huh? Who did it?
- Let me shake the hand of the man...
- Terry. Terry singing our song.
That's who did it.
Oh, Bert.
You're here with me
I'm here with you
We need no secret rendezvous
We'll find romance
Where e'er we chance
To be
The sweetest theme
Runs through my dream
Each night I seem to see
A home for two
In view for you
And me
- She could do the Phyllis part.
- Yeah.
What is your name again?
- Eileen Percy.
- Any experience, Miss Percy?
- Stock mostly, two seasons.
- I'd like you to read something for us.
If you can handle lines,
I'd say the part's yours.
- Thank you.
- Mr. Goodman!
Mr. Goodman, boy, are we in luck.
I just found out
that Terry Lordel is available.
Terry Lordel?
Yeah, that girl at the club
the other night.
She's just a singer.
She can sing. She can act.
She can do anything.
She'd be great for the Phyllis part.
Wouldn't she, Bert?
- I don't know, Harry.
- Let her read the part, that's all I ask.
- When could you get her in?
- Anytime. Hey, Terry!
Come in here!
All alone Monday
Singing the blues
All alone Tuesday
Reading the news
Staring and blinking
Sitting there thinking
All alone
On the shelf Wednesday
Till the dawn comes
By myself Thursday
Twirling my thumbs
Friday is my day
So I spend Friday all alone
On Saturday I
Dread the coming of Sunday
Monday the week starts anew
I'm certain I could endure
The week to the end
And I am sure
The days that I spend
Wouldn't be lonely
If I were only all alone
With you
You're the understudy, huh?
It must be a pretty tough job.
You're so anxious to get out there.
I wouldn't worry,
you'll get your chance.
- Well, I've already had my chance.
- How's that?
Well, I almost had a good part once,
but they gave it to someone else.
Oh, that's a shame.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Somebody's bound to get sick some night.
- Not her.
- No, not Terry. She's plenty healthy.
Besides, I won't be here much longer.
I'm going out to Hollywood.
Well, movies, huh?
Well, I wish you all the luck
in the world.
Thanks.
Ever anything I can do,
let me know.
That's very nice of you, Mr. Ruby.
Good night.
Good night.
- Nice going, Terry.
- Oh, thank you, Mr. Kalmar.
Snooky.
Oh, fine.
- How's the third act coming?
- It isn't.
- I'm worried about him.
- Who, Snooky?
That girl is all wrong for him.
She'll ruin his life.
He's pretty crazy about her.
He's not responsible.
He ought to be chained up someplace.
You know, if Harry left town for a while
that girl would be engaged...
...to four different fellas
within a week.
Maybe we could get him out of town.
How?
Ship him off to boarding school?
He's a big boy now.
Wears long pants.
Could Al Schacht help?
Al Schacht?
That friend of Harry's,
the big-league pitcher.
Al Schacht is down in Florida
with the team.
How could he help?
- Well, he could ask Harry...
- Wait a minute.
I'll get Al to invite Harry down to Florida
to work out with the Senators.
- Bert, that's exactly what I was saying...
- Say, that's an inspiration.
Western Union, please.
Why didn't I think of it before?
I really wouldn't know.
- Hey, Al, get a load of this.
- Let's see it.
Hey, Ruby, take it easy, will you?
Come on, Al. Throw a fast one.
Well, throw a slow one.
- Hey, Harry!
- What's the matter?
- You all right, huh?
- Hey, Harry.
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay.
- You all right, Harry?
- I feel fine.
- How are you feeling there?
- Hey.
- Come on, I'll get it.
- Play ball. Play ball.
Hit it!
Nice going.
Come on, Ruby!
You moved it.
Lay out. I'll take this one.
- You all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
Sure you're okay?
Harry, want to try it again?
- Harry!
- Bert. How are you?
- You look great.
- I feel great.
- Had a good time, huh?
- A little charley horse there.
Where's Terry?
Didn't she get my wire?
Come here, I got news for you.
- She isn't sick?
- No.
- She's married.
- Well, that's good.
Married?
- When?
- Saturday night after the show.
Went to Greenwich
with a saxophone player.
- I guess I shouldn't have left town.
- You made a wrong move, son.
- Want a drink?
- Yeah.
- What will it be?
- Grape juice, please.
Make it two.
Not to change the subject...
...but I've been kind of busy
while you were away.
- Saturday night, huh?
- Yeah. Look.
- What's this?
- Play. My play. I finished it.
Oh, swell, Bert.
- They went to Greenwich, huh?
- Yeah. I want you to read it, Harry.
- I'd like your opinion.
- Sure.
I'm gonna produce it myself.
I'm putting up part of the cash.
I got a broker from Wall Street
putting up the rest.
A saxophone player, huh?
You're not gonna let
this thing throw you.
Because if you are,
I'm gonna feel terrible.
Oh, why should you feel terrible, Bert?
You had nothing to do with it.
A saxophone player.
I haven't slept a wink
since I read it.
Look, Charlie,
I don't know anything about plays...
...but do you think Bert
ought to produce this himself?
- Nobody else will handle it.
- What do you mean?
- This script been around to regular producers?
- Sure.
- What do they say?
- Nothing much.
A couple of them say
it will be a sure-fire flop.
Well, did you tell Bert?
- You tell him.
- Oh, fine. That's all I'd have to do.
Look, I'm not worried
about the dough he'll lose.
I'm thinking of Bert, his pride.
He's higher than a kite on this thing,
and if it flops, he'll never get over it.
- Well, what do you want from me?
- I...
Look, can Bert handle this
without that Wall Street guy?
- Not a chance.
- Well, then, call him off.
Tell him the play is no good.
Get him to pull out.
Harry, I can't.
If Bert is gonna fall on his face,
maybe we just better let him.
He wouldn't let it happen to me.
Look, get that broker on the phone.
I'll talk to him myself.
What do you mean, he pulled out?
- Why would he pull out now?
- Bert, please.
All I know is that he's out,
he doesn't want any part of it.
Well, I'm still asking you why.
Maybe Mr. Miller just decided
he didn't like the play anymore.
- Was that it, Charlie?
- Yeah, just about.
He's a broker.
What does he know about plays?
Listen, I spent a lot of time
on that thing.
It's not the first play I've written.
I've done six plays.
I tore them up because
they weren't what I wanted.
Now I've got something, I know it.
And a broker says it's no good.
Oh, I thought
it was your first play, Bert.
He hasn't talked much about it,
but he's worked very hard.
Well, I'm no broker, but...
Well, anything I've got,
you're welcome to, you know that.
No, no, no. It's all right, forget it.
I gotta go along.
I've gotta catch an act at the Fordham.
- So long, Bert.
- So long, Charlie.
- Harry.
- I'll see you later, Charlie.
Oh, look, Bert. Now, you're not gonna let
this thing lick you, are you?
Because if you do,
it's gonna lick me too.
I'd feel awful.
Why should you feel awful?
Is it your fault a broker doesn't know
a good play when he sees it?
Try it this way:
- That ought to fix it.
- I don't think so.
- Too many notes.
- It's not too many notes. Look...
Hey, fellas, can we borrow
your piano just a minute?
Well, listen.
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you alone
I wanna be kissed by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be kissed by you alone
Yeah. Come on. Come with us.
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you alone
I wanna be kissed by you
Just you and nobody else but you
Oh, I wanna be kissed by you alone
I couldn't aspire
To anything higher
Than fill a desire
To make you my own
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
Oh, I wanna be loved by you alone
I couldn't aspire
To anything higher
Than fill a desire
To make you my own
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you
Don't know the time
Day or the season
I just know that I'm
Losin' my reason
By fallin' in love
Don't know the time
Day or the season
I just know that I'm
Losin' my reason
By fallin' in love
And since I'm in love
I'm up in the clouds
- Harry, what is it?
- Hey. What's the matter?
Steward said you wanted to see me.
- You all right?
- Sure, I'm fine.
Remember those lyrics
you wrote for Jessie?
I think I got a tune for them.
"Thinking of You."
- You wrote it for me, Bert?
- Yeah. Yeah.
I wanted to surprise you,
but not at 2:00 in the morning.
I thought you'd be interested.
Go ahead, Jessie, sing it.
Why is it I spend the day
Wake up and end the day
Thinking of you?
Oh, why does it do this
To me?
Is it such bliss
To be
Thinking of you?
And when I fall asleep at night
It seems
You just tiptoe
Into all my dreams
So I
Think of no other one
Ever since I've begun
Thinking of you
Oh, Bert.
- Nice tune, Harry.
- Oh, Harry, it's wonderful.
Thanks.
Thank you for the song, Bert.
It's beautiful.
You know, Harry never wrote
a melody like that before.
He must be in love or something.
Why does he have to be in love?
Songwriting is a business.
You could write a love song
in a subway train.
Not a love song like that.
You have to feel it.
Didn't you?
Oh, I think of you once in a while.
Thank you, darling.
All the same,
I still think Harry's in love.
Don't be silly. Just because
he writes a romantic tune...
...that doesn't mean he has to be
Beethoven. Any good songwriter can...
Don't look now,
but here comes Beethoven.
And Capri was impossible.
Actually impossible.
Pepi, dear, be a good little sweetheart
and run along.
Al Schacht.
Go on home.
Back to third.
Go on home.
Back to third.
Go on home.
Back to third.
Al.
Get her up there, Al.
Higher.
Thank you.
- What about you, Harry?
- Me?
- Yeah.
- Give me the ball.
All right. Lift her up.
Higher.
Higher!
- Thank you!
- Oh, wait a minute.
You all right?
Yes. Okay.
- Ball took a bad hop.
- A bad hop. A bad hop.
We go to rehearsal in two weeks.
What do I tell Sam Harris?
The ball took a bad hop?
He'll be delighted.
You and your baseball. Every time
I turn around, you're playing baseball.
- That's for kids. Kid stuff!
- Well, I suppose magic's for grownups.
- What's magic got to do with it?
- Here, pick a card. Pick a card.
Don't let me see which one you take.
Ace of clubs? Right? Correct.
Hooray!
It's not the same thing at all.
We have no regular partnership.
- lf one of us breaks this up, it's okay.
- It's all right with me too.
- Then that's understood!
- Okay!
Okay, okay!
Now, play this thing again.
No, don't play it. Sing it.
Hooray for Captain Spalding
The African explorer
Did someone call me schnorrer?
- Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
- Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
How do you think it's going, Bert?
Pretty good so far.
- Walk around. See what they're saying.
- Okay.
- Wonderful first act, Mr. Ruby.
- Thank you.
Oh, hello. Hello there.
You don't remember me, do you?
Sure. You...
- The understudy in The Ramblers.
- That's right.
Last time we met,
you were on your way to Hollywood.
How did you make out? All right?
- Pretty well.
- All right. Good.
Bert and I are thinking about going out...
Bert, you remember Miss...
- How do you do?
- Yes. How are you, Mr. Kalmar?
They're figuring on making a movie
out of The Ramblers.
That's wonderful.
You must look me up.
We sure will.
- They're taking our picture.
- Yes.
One more, please.
Thank you.
The show must be okay,
they're taking our picture.
- Well, good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
What do you mean,
taking our picture?
- I don't suppose you know who that is.
- Don't you remember her?
She was the understudy
in The Ramblers. Nice kid.
- You ought to see more movies.
- Why?
Come here, son.
See that sign?
There's your understudy.
She's a movie star?
Oh, she must think I'm crazy.
Wait a minute.
Now, how could anyone
possibly think you're crazy?
Oh, come on.
I love you so much
I can't conceal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
Yeah, it's all right. It's all right.
- You got any other tunes?
- Let me see.
I got something that'll fit.
Of course, you have to take off one word
to make it "I love you so."
Let's hear it.
I love you so
I can't conceal it
It's a wonder that you don't feel it
I love...
Harry, cut it out, will you? For the last time,
I'm telling you, lay off that tune.
What's the matter with it?
He's been trying to sell it to me
once a week since we met.
I can't help it, Bert.
I can't think of a title.
How can anybody ever think of a title
for that thing?
- Oh, that's a nice title.
- What else can you say?
- Play that other thing.
- You don't like it.
I love it, I'm crazy about it.
Play it, will you?
Who do you think's gonna
be in our picture?
- Who?
- That understudy.
I love you so much
I can't conceal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
I love you so much
My eyes reveal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
I've decided that I am through
With all this rambling about
I don't know what I'd ever do
Without you
I'm telling you
I love you so much
I can't conceal it
I love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
- We love you so much
- I don't believe it
We can't conceal it
We love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
- We love you so much
- I can't believe it
Our eyes reveal it
We love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
Now, I've decided that I am through
With all this rambling about
We don't know what we'd ever do
Without you
You're telling me
We love you so much
- I can't believe it
- We can't conceal it
We love you so much
It's a wonder you don't feel it
- Because you love me so
- Because we love you so
Cut! Get a lily.
Print three and four.
- That was very nice, Eileen.
- Thank you.
- Sounded swell, Eileen.
- Thanks.
Don't you ever get tired
of watching this?
Not the way you do it.
You should've been the star
in the Broadway version.
- Oh, I don't know.
- Yes.
- You really think so?
- Sure. She'd have been great.
Why don't you go out
and get a cup of coffee?
- Who wants coffee?
- Coffee's good for you sometimes.
My crazy friend Kendall The Great.
I mean it. How did we happen
to pass you by?
- Well, it's a long story.
- I'm interested.
He's interested.
Well, I tried out for the part.
It was practically all set.
And a fellow brought in another girl.
A very pretty girl.
- He was a songwriter.
- Named Snooky?
- That's right.
- Snooky?
Whoever heard
of a songwriter named...
Snoo... Me?
Oh, you mean that girl l...
You're a magician.
Make me disappear.
I can't forget
The night we met
- It looks lovely, Lennie.
- Thank you.
I'll let you know when to light it
and bring it in.
The moon lit up the sky
And love lit up your eye
I kissed you once
I kissed you twice
And I held you gently
That night upon
The shores of Araby
- All right, so I wrote a lyric once.
- Oh, no, you didn't.
"My Sunny Tennessee"
was a great song.
This is a very happy,
happy anniversary.
Happy days.
- Get our boy here.
- I'm celebrating with my friends.
You know, this is the third time
in my life I've had more than one drink.
- Very interesting.
- Yes, it is. Come here, Charlie.
Very interesting.
- I didn't say anything wrong.
- No, you said nothing at all.
Well, it's a great privilege
to be with you boys tonight.
And I mean that.
- And I can say it in this room.
- It's a nice room.
You fellows have written
lots of songs together.
But more than that,
you've been friends.
That's the most important thing
in the world, are friends.
- Shall I put some bicarbonate in this?
- It wouldn't hurt.
You know, you've got a friend,
and you've got a friend.
And that's what I'd like to see.
Friends.
Very funny.
We'll spot it in our next picture.
- Here.
- Hey, look at that, huh?
Here, drink this.
Hey, I was just thinking.
The time Harry called Tony Miller.
You said, "Mr. Miller,
if you back that play...
...you're gonna be the brokest broker
that ever stepped on Broadway."
- Remember?
- Yeah.
What play was that?
Your play. You wrote it.
And your friend got you out of it.
And we went up to see him.
And when we told you...
...I will never forget
the expression on your face...
...as long as I live.
Believe me, I'll never forget it.
Oh, hey, Bert,
that was a long time ago.
I think I better get some coffee.
Charlie's got the talkers.
Just kidding, huh?
No, I always meant
to tell you about it, Bert...
...but I just never got around to it.
I can understand that.
What was on your mind, Harry,
when you crabbed that deal for me?
- What do you think?
- I'm asking.
Well, I didn't want you to flop.
That play wasn't too good, Bert.
You decided that.
Oh, why not? You're an expert.
Now, wait a minute. You're not gonna
pull a peeve after all these years.
- What do you expect me to do?
- All right, I was wrong.
I just didn't want you to get hurt.
That's very touching.
Well, why else would I do it?
Whatever the reason,
you had a sweet nerve.
What do you mean,
"whatever the reason"?
All I know is I wanted something
very much.
And now I find out
my partner did me out of it.
Well, I told you why, I was worried.
About me or yourself?
Oh, sure. Now I get it.
You think I didn't want you
to have that play.
I was scared the play might click
and bust up our partnership...
...and I couldn't lean on you anymore.
Is that what you meant?
If I believed that,
I couldn't be any sorer than I am now.
But you do believe it.
You must think I needed you
pretty badly.
You must have thought so.
Not that badly.
Look, I'm not forgetting anything.
I know what I was
when I ran into you:
A song-plugger.
But even without you,
I might have gotten somewhere.
It's just possible.
All by myself.
It's not too late to try.
Harry. Bert. Come on,
it's time to cut the cake.
Come on. Everybody's waiting.
Harry. Bert.
- Come on.
- Make a wish.
- Make a wish.
- Make a wish, come on.
Hello, hello. Bert? Marty.
Say, some of the boys down here
got ahold of a screwy item...
...for tomorrow's issue. Listen:
"Kalmar and Ruby split.
Songwriting team are calling it quits
after a long and successful partnership.
Understood Kalmar will devote his time
to stories and screenplay writing."
Say, will you tell the boys
they're crazy?
Okay, Bert.
Sorry.
Print it.
Nice tune.
- Have you got any lyrics for it?
- No.
No words.
Ever hear from Bert?
No. He's writing those scripts.
Doing real well, they tell me.
You know,
Bert's really a smart fella.
Oh, that's nice too.
That's one of the nicest
melodies you've ever written, Harry.
It's always been my favorite.
It seems
You just tiptoe
Into all my dreams
So I
Think of no other one
Ever since I've begun
Thinking of you
It's different from the rest.
You must've been very much in love
when you wrote this one.
Well...
You wanna know something?
I think I wrote it too soon.
- Morning.
- Morning, Jess.
- Been working all night?
- Most of it.
There's a review
of your picture in here.
- Oh, what did they say?
- You're a big man this morning.
"The story by Bert Kalmar
is thoroughly enjoyable.
The dialogue neat and deftly turned."
- How's that?
- Let me see it. I love good notices.
Hey, did you see this?
They flew to Yuma last night.
She's a very nice girl, Bert.
Yeah.
Well, we didn't have to wire
Al Schacht this time, did we?
You didn't eat a thing.
I wasn't hungry.
- Just tired, huh?
- Oh, a little bit.
You are my lucky star
I saw you from afar
And so, ladies and gentlemen...
...we bring to a close another issue
of The Songwriters' Parade.
Tonight's honored guests were
Arthur Freed and Nacio Herb Brown.
We'll be back again next week
to pay tribute once again...
... to the men
who write America's songs.
At that time we'll be happy to present
as our guests...
... Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.
Is that Phil Regan out of his mind
or something?
I don't know.
Whoever told him
to announce a thing like that?
A personal appearance.
- There's nothing so terrible about it.
- Nothing so terrible?
A radio show with two people
who don't talk to each other?
- I wanna get that Regan on the phone.
- No. You can't do that.
- Why not?
- Because...
If Phil Regan was nice enough
to think of you...
...the least you can do is to be there.
I'll take that.
He ought to know better...
...than to announce a thing like that
without checking first.
What kind of a business is this?
- Kalmar and Ruby, he said.
- Hello?
- Kalmar and Ruby.
- Oh, hello, Eileen.
Like we were brothers or something.
- Well, I don't know.
- That doesn't mean I have to go.
- He ought to stop thinking...
- How's it going at your house?
- Well, hold on.
- This will be a great show. Great.
How can they do a thing like this?
I didn't okay it.
Tell him to get another voice
because I'm not gonna be there.
Bert won't be there either.
What do they expect me to do...
...play the piano while Bert makes
a microphone disappear?
It's a little early to tell yet, Jessie.
I know what you mean.
Keep your fingers crossed.
Who told them to do it?
Who put them up to it?
- lf they ever find out that we did this...
- What kind of routine are we supposed to do?
An argument for the benefit
of our audience?
Look, Eileen, I'll call you back later.
We're on the air, boys, shake hands.
Come out fighting.
Oh, come on, Harry.
Ah, this whole thing's silly.
I don't like it, Eileen.
Oh, I know.
In a way it is embarrassing.
But after all, Regan
was nice enough to think of you.
The very least you can do
is be there.
- Eileen, Harry!
- Jessie, how are you?
How are you, Eileen?
You look wonderful. I'll take your hat.
- Hello, Bert.
- Hello, Eileen.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Pull up a stool.
- Oh, thanks.
Well, it looks like
we're stuck with this thing.
I guess so.
Got any ideas what we might do?
I found one of the old routines.
It might be okay.
That thing we did
at the Friars, remember?
Sure.
Oh, sure. Sure. This is okay.
Want to rehearse?
Oh, I know the music.
You know the words?
Yeah, I know the words.
Well, I guess
we don't have to rehearse.
I guess not.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow night,
I guess.
I guess so.
Oh, say...
I caught your picture the other night.
Nice job.
It's all right, I guess.
I hear you've been knocking out
good tunes lately.
Oh, I've been kicking it
around a little.
You got anything?
Sure. Sure, I've got one little tune
I've been working on.
Of course, you won't like it.
- What won't I like?
- What I got.
- I haven't heard it yet.
- Okay.
- Sounds vaguely familiar.
- Well, I told you you wouldn't like it.
I never said that. It's a nice tune,
a very nice tune.
You never got a title for it, huh?
No, in fact, never did.
There was "La-Da-Dee-Da"
and "Beep-Beep-A-Deep."
That's about all we got.
Let's see. We ought to get something
for a tune like that.
Play that first part, will you?
Oh me, oh my
No. That's no good.
You know, that's not a bad tune.
- I could've been wrong about it.
- Well, you usually weren't.
Well, let me see.
I love you so
No, that's that thing we had before.
We'll get it. We'll get something.
Yeah, we'll get it.
Do you want to work on it?
We could knock it off this afternoon.
- Okay. Let's knock it off.
- All right.
I can't this afternoon. I just remembered
there's a double-header at Wrigley Field.
It's not that I wanna go.
You see, I promised a fella...
- I see. Baseball is more important.
- No. No, I'll work with you tonight.
All night if you want to.
All right, if you want to.
No, wait a minute, I can't.
I've got a meeting tonight.
The magician's club.
The magician's club?
- Yeah.
- You've gotta do tricks, huh?
- No, I don't gotta do tricks.
- Yeah, you gotta make rabbits disappear.
No, I don't have to make rabbits
disappear. I'm the president.
- Well, hooray!
- Yeah, hooray.
You should talk.
The nation's number one baseball fan.
- "Take him out. Take him out."
- Now it's my fault.
- I was willing to work.
- You don't want to work.
- You never wanted to work.
- What do you mean?
Every time I wanna do something,
you're catching flies.
- Don't talk about me.
- I'll talk about you.
What about you,
that sleight-of-hand stuff?
That dangling ropes in the air,
pulling cigars out of your ears?
- Yeah?
- That's important for kids.
- For kids?
- Yeah, for kids!
I better get him out of here.
This is what I've been waiting for.
Come, sit down.
Keep your voice down.
I didn't wanna work, he says.
What about you?
I wouldn't write that song
if you begged me.
- Begged you? I didn't even ask you.
- I guess you just can't help it, Harry.
I feel sorry for you.
You feel sorry for me?
You must think I'm just...
I can tell you what I think of you
in three little words:
You're a dope!
"You're a dope."
Bert called me
three little words, "You're a dope."
You are a dope
Three little words
Three little words
It fits. Hey, Bert! Bert!
This is my house.
Why should I walk out?
- You got it, Bert, the title of the song.
- What?
"Three Little Words." You got it.
You better hurry.
You might miss the baseball game.
Oh, anytime you're ready to go,
Eileen. I'm ready.
- Bye, Jessie.
- Bye, Harry.
- Bye, Eileen.
- Bye, Jessie.
Good evening. We're here tonight to pay
tribute to two great pals of mine.
I know they've turned out many,
many hits together.
I'm sure you've whistled their tunes
and danced to their tunes...
...but I know you're gonna get a big kick
out of meeting them in person tonight.
None other than Bert Kalmar and...
And Harry Ruby.
- Hello, Harry. Bert, how are you?
- How are you, Phil?
Here they are, ladies and gentlemen,
going to sing a medley of their hit tunes.
I wanna be in Tennessee
In my Dixie paradise
An angel's voice I hear
I mean my mammy dear
And then we wrote...
- Who's sorry now?
- Who's sorry now?
- Who's sorry now?
- Who's sorry?
- I tried to warn you somehow
- I tried to warn you somehow
And then came...
I wanna be loved by you
Just you and nobody else but you
I wanna be loved by you alone
And then we sat down and wrote...
Why is it I spend the day
Wake up and end the day
Thinking of you?
And then we stood up and wrote...
So long, Oo-long
How long you going to roam?
Please don't be too long
Oo-long, so long
Hurry back home
Maybe I'm right
And maybe I'm wrong
And maybe I'm weak
And maybe I'm strong
But nevertheless
I'm in love with you
Maybe I'll win
And maybe I'll...
Oh, that's enough of that.
How would you like
to hear a brand-new song?
One we just wrote yesterday.
Well, not exactly yesterday.
As a matter of fact,
it took us about 10 years.
Phil, if you please?
Three little words
Oh, what I'd give for
That wonderful phrase
To hear those
Three little words
That's all I'd live for
The rest of my days
And what I feel in my heart
They tell sincerely
No other words
Can tell it half so clearly
Three little words
Eight little letters
Which simply mean
I love you
Wonderful, Bert, wonderful.
Thank you, Harry. Wonderful. Very good.
And now, we'll leave you
with three little words: let's all dance.
Three little words
Oh, what I'd give for
That wonderful phrase
To hear those
Three little words
- Sorry.
- Darling.
- It was just wonderful.
- Bert, it was wonderful.
Harry, I always knew
that was a great tune.
No other words
Can tell it half so clearly
Three little words
Eight little letters
Which simply mean
I love you
[ENGLISH]