Three Husbands (2018) - full transcript
A wondrous prostitute plies her trade while living on a boat in Hong Kong. With a superhuman libido and three loving husbands, she doggedly devotes herself to her work. Using sex to satirize the era, this film brims with intense desire.
The girls are here! Whoa!
A lot of girls.
Alright. Alright.
Whoa!
How can you choose?
Hello, bosses.
Hello. How are you?
I'm Qingqing, from Heilongjiang.
- Heilongjiang.
- I'm from Henan.
- I'm Lingling, from Guizhou.
- I'm Xixi, from Mongolia.
Hi, handsome bosses,
I'm Sau Ming from Guangxi.
This one's good. I can talk to her.
- Hello, I'm Jiajia from Hunan.
- I'm Waiwai from Beijing.
Where are you from?
You've stayed in Zhuhai for a long time?
I'm sorry.
You forgot? I'm from Guangxi.
I speak Cantonese!
Yes…Guangxi.
- And you? From Macau?
- No. From Hong Kong.
Hong Kong?
Where in Hong Kong?
- You won't know even if I told you.
- Come on. Tell me.
Sure, I can tell you.
If you marry me, I'll tell you.
Marry you?
I don't even know your name.
How can I marry you?
Call me Mr. Four Eyes.
No. Just call you charming Four Eyes.
Now can you tell me where you live?
Okay. I live at Lantau Island.
Lantau Island?
That's right.
You don't know it?
Lantau Island is famous for many things.
- Like?
- Lu Ting are the most famous.
- Is that edible?
- No!
I'm their descendent. Listen!
Legend has it…sirens lived far out at sea…
With enchanting eyes and seductive smiles.
When seafarers chanced upon
such fair maidens…
Thrust one's mighty phallus
to tame their lustful ways!
- And break their evil spells!
- Is that really true?
Mr. Smart-Ass! A round of applause!
- Thank you! Thank you!
- Finished? Let's continue…Focus!
I didn't make it up!
I didn't make it up!
Fine, I'll get changed
and we can go out?
Great! Great!
Hurry up.
Get up! Get up!
The police are here!
Don't move! Don't move!
Isn't this a secret place?
Show your identity card!
Don't move!
ID card!
Show me!
Show me!
Are you two in China for business?
We're tourists from Hong Kong.
Yes, we're here for the karaoke.
Take those with China IDs outside first!
Out! Move!
Get up! Show me your ID!
Leaving so soon!
I didn't even get to touch her!
What's his name?
Lu Ting.
And her?
What's her name?
Sau Ming.
You both are lying obviously.
All the way from Hong Kong
to prostitute, Miss?
You cunning fox.
You were faking it!
Take her out!
No! We're really from Hong Kong…
- Take her out!
- Help me!
We're getting married!
You're lucky to have been caught here,
it's better than between the sheets!
I'm really only here to sing!
An all-nighter deal isn't it?
That's it for tonight.
Step outside and pay a fine!
Hello? Fatty?
Can you loan me $5,000? I'm in Zhuhai!
In trouble again?
You want the money now?
I can't leave without paying!
Where do I get $5,000
in the middle of the night?
Sea - sea: big lake; a base of, ocean
Close to the mainland,
waters smaller than the ocean
Used for lake names - Large capacity
Large number of people - Aimlessly
Big Brother,
when Mui gets off work,
you both can meet.
- Have dinner before you leave.
- No, I'm not staying for dinner.
Because there's no sea patrol at night.
How's business?
Business will pick up
with the fishing moratorium.
- Give me a bigger cut then!
- Greedy bastard!
Second Brother,
I want to get a new laptop. Get an Apple.
Not enough?
- Here you go.
- Thank you!
Thank you.
Come back next month!
Next month?
That's right before the moratorium.
I'll be busy.
- Maybe the month after.
- Take care!
Give me those too!
Greedy jackass brother!
Why's there a long queue?
Many girls there?
No need for many! This one's good enough.
Second Brother!
I've told you I want to
marry your daughter?
Have you decided?
You just want to get laid,
why bother marrying?
- I love her!
- Love?
Fine. Tell me how much money you want.
You are so heartless, making her a whore.
If she doesn't do this,
how do you get off?
- I'm coming up.
- Move your ass.
Mui.
How are you?
It's me again.
Mui's very busy.
There's a long line outside.
They want a quickie
before going home for dinner.
The condom is on the table!
Use it!
- I'm on it!
- Remember to use it!
Stroke, 8, 9, 10!
More power!
Another round? Pay up first!
You pay per shot.
What if you can shoot 30 times?
How could we make money?
Lucky Scepter moves up fast
with Ultimate Glory on the outside!
Moving forwards within the pack.
Last 100 meters! Solar Kingdom on
the rails! Lucky Scepter in the middle!
Ultimate Glory out wide…closing in!
Lucky Scepter wins!
Hey!
Take this…
Move this too!
- It's heavy!
- Let's move it together.
Give me this.
Lunch's here!
Hong's asking us to go to
Shenzhen tonight for girls.
So, want to go?
Hey, Four Eyes!
No freaking way!
China whores cost too much!
Why travel so far?
Just go to that Tanka boat girl!
Same as any mainland chick!
One's an army operation,
one's a navy operation.
Fuck! The sea chick is super hot!
A goddess with snowy flesh,
and a voluptuous bosom too.
We can't afford housing,
but at least we can buy boobs!
- Don't you agree?
- For real?
Why would I lie?
One more thing.
Doing it on the boat…that swaying motion.
- It's like doing it in outer space.
- Awesome!
Wow! People still buy
grave plot for burial?
Yeah. They still do it?
Burial items are costly too.
Including The Show…
Sure Win's going for it!
Also Paddington and the rest!
Now they're entering the straight!
Holding a steady lead is Dr. Proactive!
Closing in strongly
is Starlet in the middle.
The Show goes wide
while London Master is on the rails.
Almost 100 meters out
and it's neck-and-neck.
It's Dr. Proactive
with Applause storming up behind.
Let's see who wins!
Looks like The Show
going wide may place third!
Let's see who'll be first.
Hey!
Where's your father?
He's not here?
What's this?
You never mentioned you have a kid…
You're breast feeding. Behave yourself!
It feels great with a baby.
I want you to be my wife.
You're not a whore.
You're a fish.
I won't screw around anymore.
Let's make a baby together!
Sarah, who got off the horse?
Now let's look at no.3,
London Master, who just mounted…
Today's your first time
commentating at Happy Valley.
Yes…
What happened in Shatin?
How many thousand was that?
-Millions on a four-race accumulator bet.
-And you predicted it?
This one's a conundrum!
Mui.
There's a silly guy who wants
to marry you.
It's Four Eyes!
I'm so happy!
Happy? But I'll miss you.
That dumbass,
I think he's poorer than us.
Where will he get the money to marry you?
For #4, #5 and #8. A3 pays 2,8 times…
A2 has the highest odds.
But you're different,
and handsome.
It'd be a shame
if you didn't bless a girl.
Didn't Four Eyes tell you?
He found a girl willing to marry him!
Are you sure?
Who would marry a shitface like him?
- It's for real!
- He borrowed money from you again?
- Of course he did.
- And you gave it to him?
What's with the phone call?
We're here to eat!
I'm really busy.
Your grandma nagged me
for not getting married.
Serves you right.
Don't eat too much ginkgo!
You'll waste sperm with wet dreams.
Didn't they teach you that in school?
Teach?
- I only ate one piece of gingko!
- You mustn't waste even a drop of sperm!
I got a call from Mainland police.
It was about that Zhuhai incident.
It turns out that Hong Kong girl
is still being detained.
And she's not able to come back.
What?
Didn't Fatty settle the payment for you?
Yes, but the cops
still came looking for me.
- Bad luck.
- Not quite.
You're lucky with the girls.
Butter face Boy!
Scored a Hong Kong whore in China.
- What's so funny?
- But you're one unlucky dickhead.
If the police didn't show up,
you still thought
that you scored a hot slut.
Here, have more sea snails.
They help keeping you wet.
The fishing moratorium is near.
No more sea snails for you then.
- Eat more!
- There's fish.
Fish?
Fish doesn't get you wet.
It'll hurt if it's too dry.
Doesn't hurt…
You won't suffer, but I will.
Is this funny to you?
What? Haven't you moaned enough already?
Finish up and we can start work.
I think, that Four Eyes
was just being impulsive.
I doubt he has the money to marry you.
He's all skin and bones.
He probably can't satisfy you at all.
Even if you go to the city with him,
you won't survive long.
Transportation is expensive.
There is rent and utility bills.
Not like living on a boat,
completely free!
No money…
Yes! You can't live without money!
We have a fantastic sea view.
No hustle and bustle.
Rocking on the boat…
Swim wherever we want…
Isn't this great?
Riding back and forth…
But then…
Once you get married and live on land,
life won't be so hard for you,
and for me.
I guess that's better.
OUTER HARBOR PASSENGER TERMINAL
Hey, Four Eyes!
The police are looking for you!
Looking for me?
If the cops ask where we ship our cargo,
say you don't know. Got it, Four Eyes?
I really don't know where it goes.
Unless it's to North Korea or something.
Stop talking!
Let's work!
No! Wait till the cops leave!
Get back in! Go inside.
I'm at the cemetery during the day,
here at night.
Two nights ago at the cemetery,
someone stole burial items from a tomb.
I was in Zhuhai.
- Zhuhai?
- Yes.
To do what? Sell stolen goods.
I went to Zhuhai to get laid.
Any proof?
What? Proof of hooking up with a chick?
- How about my ferry ticket?
- Show me.
A gambling addict!
A sore loser! Piece of shit!
Loser.
Chop off my hand! Stop me from gambling.
Come on! Grab the cleaver!
Hurry up!
Chop it!
Chop it off!
Do it now!
Take it!
Hand…Useful…
Down there…Useless as fuck…
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Hey, Brother!
Tough luck!
Mui is on her period.
Can't see anyone now.
No, I'm not here for that!
Come here!
There! Here's… $70,000!
$10,000 more than you asked for!
The extra $10,000 is your bonus!
- Wow! You got it!
- Of course!
Look!
You can marry Mui,
but she still has to live here.
- And continue the business.
- Are you nuts?
Mui will live with me
in the safest place on earth!
She won't be a Tanka boat girl anymore!
Go ashore?
Why the hell not? So?
- You have property?
- Yes!
It's okay. No need.
Wow! Can't believe
that fuckface married my goddess.
That dude always asks
girls to marry him.
The trick seems to really work!
He loves her unconditionally
and doesn't mind her baby.
I couldn't do it.
Not really. His wife
does have a fantastic body.
Clever boy! Sneaked out for a taste.
And didn't breathe a word!
Sorry! But I've tasted her too!
- For real?
- In one word, exceptional!
Yes! I'd do her again!
I was going to try her out next week.
Too fucking late now!
Hey! Stop with the bullshit.
She's our sister-in-law now.
The wife of a friend.
What's wrong with that?
We're just talking.
- Freedom of speech!
- No way. Not one stray thought.
Good! Look here!
Ready… Smile!
Land - land, continental, army
Land above water
Following manner - Jump - Surname
Aren't you done yet?
The food's getting cold!
What's up?
You're unhappy?
It must be a little awkward to do it here.
I don't get it. Doing it on land
or at sea is the same, ain't it?
It's still doing it in a bed.
Don't…Don't be upset.
Alright?
Sister.
The neighbors complained
about a woman at your place.
Kids are scared of her.
What?
Scared of what?
Are you scared?
Like this?
Keep calm, Granny.
What are you looking?
Let's go.
Let's go.
Hey, Four Eyes! What's up?
Not enough sleep?
You're fired.
Don't just stand there.
Grab your stuff.
Come and get your salary.
- What?
- Come and get your salary.
You useless piece of…
Come over here!
What fucking bitch mothered
a dickhead like you!
Weak, shit-for-brains…
Better off giving birth to roast pork.
Not sure who's the biggest idiot here.
To think I hired a shithead like you!
Move it, will you!
Get the fuck over here! You moron!
What are you doing?
Stop it! You're insane?
How old are you, Granny?
80 something?
82.
Wow! That's amazing.
Amazing! 82!
Mui?
Are you okay?
Stand up.
Good?
What are you looking for?
- A face mask.
- Yes.
You'd like that?
Is this much better? Swaying like a boat!
Excuse me!
Is this where Four Eyes lives?
Excuse me!
Is this where Four Eyes lives?
Are you family?
This address is correct.
I want to know if Four Eyes is around?
Brother Four Eyes lives here.
- What?
- She can't talk.
What's that?
She's a little crazy.
Mom says she's crazy.
She's crazy?
You… Crazy!
Hey, don't you live on the 9th floor?
What are you doing here?
Nothing.
Scram! You idiot!
There's nothing to see!
See…See…
Why are you sitting here?
Open the door!
Mui! Open the door!
- Woman!
- Mui. Open the door! Mui!
- Woman!
- What?
- Open the door, Mui!
- She said you have another woman!
Nonsense!
Don't get me in trouble
with the housing authority!
- Mui. Open up first!
- We'll get evicted from public housing!
And we'll have to live on the street!
Did you hear what I said?
- I heard you!
- I called the cops 15 minutes ago.
If we can get in,
take her away immediately.
Find a proper woman.
- Granny, you wanted grandchildren!
- I know it's hard.
Mui.
Mui.
Open up. Mui.
Don't kill yourself by overdoing it.
I understand your manly duties.
But overdoing it
doesn't guarantee a child.
She's not like the rest of us.
She's not normal.
Granny, what is this?
You son of a bitch!
Where did you find her?
- At sea.
- I bet she's wet.
Good lord!
She swallows a lot every day.
Did you work this hard
when you were young, Granny?
Don't talk nonsense!
She's truly sick.
I'm afraid you'll be sucked dry.
Take her to the Chinese doctor downstairs.
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Baby, you know where mommy went?
Mui!
Hey, what are you doing there?
Go! Come with me!
Stop looking! Let's go!
I'm warning you! Don't try to seduce her!
- Don't blame me! She seduced me first!
- I don't believe it!
My wife's a sea gypsy!
She'll never do such a thing!
Let's go!
Mui, add an extra set of chopsticks!
Is someone joining us?
Who is this?
This is Big Brother.
I'm her father!
Yes, he's her father.
And also her baby's father.
What?
Him? I remarried your daughter to him!
Remarried?
Remarried?
You lost money again?
Don't say "again"!
I was just unlucky that's all!
You'd rather sell my daughter
than the boat?
Sell the boat? Where would I live?
You bastard!
No wonder you're a sore loser!
They really love each other.
- Not my fault!
- You'd lie to me?
Stop! Stop.
You filthy old bastards!
You raped your own daughter!
Married her off to this piece of shit!
And then passed her on to me?
You deserve to be punched!
She's your wife!
And you pimp her out?
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
You deserve to be punched too!
And you want a cut
of her hard-earned cash?
- Hard-earned? She loves it!
- Yes! Not hard-earned at all!
Stop it already!
You're not much better!
Back on land…
Don't come here then, smartass!
You can't survive on salt water!
Young man. What's your name?
Call me Four Eyes.
Now, I'm Big Brother.
He's Second Brother.
- So you're Little Bro.
- Fine. Little Bro then.
You're the youngest here, Little Bro.
From now on, Mui's your responsibility.
Now that we're family,
let's figure something out.
- Start a business.
- I get it now.
You guys want Mui to sell her body again?
Let me tell you something!
As long as I'm around,
don't even think of pimping out Mui!
- Notice any strangers around?
- No.
It's the usual crowd.
Our regulars.
Between these three,
A1 pays 1,8 times for #3 and #10.
A2 pays 3,2 times for #4, #5 and #8.
A3 pays 2,8 times.
A2 has the highest odds.
We're running out of rice!
If we carry on like this,
we'll soon have to beg for food.
Little Bro! She's horny again!
Poor girl…
Was she like that when younger?
Yeah, and I thought she had epilepsy.
Little Bro.
Why don't you find a way to satisfy her.
What if I can't satisfy her?
Why don't you guys try? Okay?
You're the eldest, Big Brother.
You have my respect, please go first!
No way, that's incest.
What a pussy.
Why don't you do it?
I'm handicapped.
Bastards! I'm worn out
and you still want me to do it!
Hey!
Hey!
Wait. I'll be there.
No glove, no love, Little Bro!
Don't bother with those two bastards.
Let's make a baby!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry. I can't get it up.
I'm as old as Big Brother.
But I've an idea.
As you can all see…
Her abalone-like opening
is completely different from most girls.
Can't you see? Her labia spread outwards.
Isn't abalone seafood? It has wings?
I'll try to answer both your questions.
I'll demonstrate with a papaya.
But remember,
it's also a psychological disorder.
So be extra careful.
There! Can you see?
Like this…
And she'll erupt in orgasmic heaven!
Got it?
But if I push in farther,
then she won't feel it.
Understood?
So…if I stick it in further,
I won't touch that, right?
Not touching it doesn't mean
she won't feel pleasure.
This is the part you need to focus on!
Actually, it is a medical disorder.
A lowly hyper-sexual disorder
for a low-end patient.
Does such an illness exist?
I've heard of low-end consumers.
A pussy can be low-end too?
Of that I'm not certain.
But from a Chinese
and western medical standpoint, yes!
So, how do you fix it?
There's no cure.
But, you can cut it off.
Or send her men every day.
- Every day?
- That's right.
Can she still have children
if we cut it off?
How would I know?
I'm not a gynecologist!
Then why'd you come over?
- No choice! His friend made me come.
- Yes! My grandmother.
Doesn't matter.
I have a suggestion.
What suggestion?
She has a rare gift.
A one-in-a-million beauty!
You must cherish her.
Her pussy might become
cultural heritage someday!
It'll be worth a lot.
Hey! Let's take a photo to commemorate it.
Alright. Alright.
Damn it, not so close!
It'll be like a dark forest!
Pull back! You idiot.
This button…
It vibrates.
- Heads…
- Double-heads.
Five.
Four points. You lose.
Three!
Five points.
Almost.
You lose.
Pay up!
Your turn.
Eight.
Is it working?
Four points.
- Three points!
- Three each…
- Heads.
- Yeah, heads.
- Two.
- Shit! One point.
Eight.
Where's the phone?
You pushed it all the way in?
Should we tie her up?
Like how they tie up drug addicts.
Maybe it'll help to cure her?
Isn't it too brutal?
I want to cure her. Tie her up!
Mui, what are you doing?
Mui, you alright?
Mui.
Be careful!
Mui.
Don't let her go!
Mui.
Mui…Don't!
Mui. Don't!
- Is this being abusive?
- No, not if it cures her.
- And if it doesn't?
- Still no. Little Bro, I support you.
But we don't know how long she'll survive.
It'll work.
It'll work.
Next.
Next.
Mui.
You're doing well, Mui. Business is great!
Scream louder!
Mui's a good girl.
The clients want to bring
their own costumes and toys.
Yes. It's true!
Let's jack up the prices.
It's fair. With Mui's ability…
That's true.
Let's add an underwater
sexcapade special then.
What's so funny? Be serious.
Next up.
What's with you guys?
Aren't you my friends?
Let's drop the personal feelings today.
We're here to get laid.
Don't think of us as friends.
But that's… like screwing my wife?
Just close your eyes
and don't think about it.
Blame it on Shui for bragging about her.
You…
You bastards!
Don't get too worked up about it.
Don't let personal feelings
interfere with business!
That's right. Bro!
You can't achieve much with that attitude!
- That's right. Don't limit yourself.
- Fuck you, bastards!
So good.
I've struggled with this for a while.
We grew up together.
He's not just a friend.
To be honest,
I don't really want to fuck her.
Not me. I'm not so pretentious.
I know this sounds vicious.
Like a terrorist…
But ain't I right?
Well, think of it this way.
If you go to Mongkok to get a hooker,
would you care
about who she is?
Fuck no.
I only need to know she's a whore.
- Even that asshole wants a shot!
- Shut up. It's just business.
- Who's she married to in Hong Kong?
- Me.
- Who are you?
- I'm her father.
There's been reports
of illegal activities here.
- Drugs?
- Not drugs. Prostitution.
No one lives here! Which boat?
You shouldn't dock here.
Then where can we live?
Can you get me public housing?
- Apply for it.
- Apply? Are you kidding me?
Whatever, you can't dock your boat here.
You must leave
Gin Drinker's Bay by 7:00 p.m.!
If you show up here again,
we'll impound your boat and arrest you.
Understand?
Nothingness-sky, energy,
air
No content
No result - Off the ground,
above the ground - Unused
- How is it?
- She's having an episode again.
It's becoming more serious.
Okay.
- What's this?
- An electric massage chair.
She wants a massage?
You old fool, lagging behind the times.
I suspect Mui's a siren of the sea.
- She squeals just like a dolphin.
- Siren my ass. What makes you think that?
Why don't you go to Lantau Island
and check it out?
- Check what?
- Your ancestry.
I once read a Hong Kong
folk tale about Lu Ting.
It said they originated
in the Pearl River Delta.
They fled war and ended up
on Lantau Island.
It's in the "New Essays of Guangdong".
If a seafarer chances upon a siren,
thrust the male member
to tame the lustful maiden.
And break her evil spell.
Smoke! Fire! A big fire!
Smoke!
Help!
Help!
Anyone there?
Want to do business?
Want to do business?
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Want to do business?
Go home and eat shit!
Brother.
Let's go somewhere else.
Police came to warn them.
Little Bro left with his family.
- Where's Four Eyes?
- Four Eyes is Little Bro.
How unfortunate.
- What do you want with him?
- I got in trouble in Zhuhai a while back.
He bailed me out
so I'm here to return his money.
Give it to me then.
I lent the money to him.
Give it to you?
No. Better hand it to him directly.
Why didn't you return here
with us last time?
It wasn't easy for me.
I was locked up for a whole month.
I had to write a Letter of Repentance
and attend rehabilitation classes
before release.
After rehabilitation,
you are not a hooker anymore.
What hooker?
Your mom didn't teach you manners?
Sorry.
I'll bring some mates along
to support you someday.
Support me?
You go to China to get hookers,
how can you afford me?
But why not?
I don't know where I'll go next.
The government's promoting
the Greater Bay Area.
I'll take a look there.
Forget it. I'm sure there's a school here
that will take you in. Don't be a hooker.
Fuck you, Fatty!
Try not to fall into the sea.
Where are we now?
Why are there so many fishing boats?
This is Hong Kong's Aberdeen Fishing Port.
Of course there are many boats.
Good morning, Boss!
Want to do business?
Want to do business?
- No response.
- Keep going.
Hey! That one?
- Keep looking.
- Keep looking.
Hey, Boss! Want to do business?
- What?
- Go closer.
What business?
Take a look.
- You shitting me? Do it in that tiny boat?
- No. She can come over to your boat.
No way! Don't dirty my boat!
Alright.
Pops, I'm going over for a short while.
Hey! We have business!
What the fuck is that?
Hey!
Hey!
Who the fuck are you guys?
Motherfuckers!
You still pimp her out
after she pops out a bastard child?
Have you no conscience? No shame?
You crazy shitheads!
I'll still treat the baby as my own.
Don't talk. Just eat.
You need the energy.
We can't keep doing this.
It won't help cure her disorder.
She's fine now.
It's fixing the symptom
but it's not a cure.
Shall we go ashore to get some meds?
Give it a try?
After getting the meds,
we'll leave right away.
Hey, Second Bro.
I remember a book I read.
What are you getting at? Get to the point.
If Mui's a demon,
then we have to find
a Buddha to restrain her.
What? I don't know.
No. You are children of the ocean.
So, a fish will be a Buddha of the sea.
What do you mean?
Told you to get meds
and you bought a fish?
Are you insane? Buying such a giant one?
You want to fuck up her pussy?
Seems I have to be
the decision maker again.
We'll work with what we've got.
Put two layers of protection on the fish!
Bring the condoms.
Come on. Put it on.
Tough it out Mui.
- Yummy.
- Eat more then.
Haven't seen her so happy in a while.
Can't believe an eel tamed Mui.
And it tastes great too.
Attaboy. Once we dock,
buy more eel, Bro.
In case Mui has another episode,
get a few extra eels next time.
- We're not rolling in money.
- We are.
We were flooded with online bookings
while you were cooking.
And we got many likes too!
We'll have money again.
Look at your scrawny face.
Perfect for a pimp.
You skinny ass.
Thank you.
Mui, we're back in business again.
Aren't you happy?
Not happy.
- Not happy? Why not?
- Why not?
With fish…Happy.
Fish?
Perhaps Little Bro's story is true.
Since we're so close to Lantau Island,
let's go take a look.
Okay.
Good!
But can we get any business there?
- Where there are men, there are customers.
- Good. I'll put some bait up online.
Wow! Fireworks.
Why so sudden? Where are we now?
The Gods must have sensed our joy,
and fired off fireworks to celebrate!
- It's Disneyland.
- For real?
- So we passed Disneyland?
- Let's go there next year!
I won't waste that kind of money.
They do it every night at this time.
Seahorse is the perfect nickname for you.
Money means everything, no matter what.
I'm not like Big Brother.
Cowardly like a sea turtle.
And you, Goldfish.
Goldfish?
What about my daughter?
I got it.
There's a fish that fits her perfectly.
It's a tonguefish!
A tonguefish?
Bro! Tai O's waterway is too narrow.
Let's use your boat.
- What about your boat?
- Dock it at the perimeter first.
Mr. Chan!
Mr. Chan!
Mr. Chan!
Who the fuck is screaming out there?
- Mr. Chan!
- Can't you see I'm meditating!
Are you Mr. Chan?
We're from Ocean Health Services,
I have your delivery here.
What delivery?
Hey. Show it to him.
Wow! There's a baby too.
Is it buy one, get one free?
Quite creative!
I like that. Come on up.
Boss, give me a good price for the fish.
Then what will I live on?
Get lost.
You whiner.
You filthy girl.
Not so loud.
Hey, sir.
Do you know who painted
this Lu Ting map of Lantau?
How would I know?
I don't even know who put it up there.
Lu Ting!
The legendary half-fish,
half-man creature.
It is able to tame evil spirits
and remove spells.
Brother. Go to a temple
to remove evil spells.
This proves Lantau's
connection to the Pearl River Delta.
Look!
Here. This curvaceous feminine opening!
Which means, back in 410 A.D.,
during the Eastern Jin dynasty,
Lu Ting traveled to Lantau Island
and became Lantau locals.
- Are you a property agent?
- No, sir.
Aren't you a native of Lantau Island?
Mr. Leung!
Mr. Lee!
Mr. Chow!
So many likes.
Mr. Wong!
Mr. Ho!
Mr. Lau!
Mui has a powerful voice.
Sounds amazing.
Just like dolphins out at sea.
Let's catch that slut! Beat her to death!
She's over there. Catch the whore!
It's me. Shui.
I'm your husband's good friend.
I'm back again.
I've been searching online,
and followed you to Tai O.
It's touching, right?
Look what I brought.
Happy?
I'm really into you.
I'm inside.
Let's start.
My bad.
Sorry.
I came too fucking fast.
Strange.
Darn, why is it like this?
Must be this damn arm.
I lost too much blood back then.
It must have drained me.
Lost all my vigor.
You know. I ain't…
I was so awesome last time.
Right?
You remember.
I'm not like this.
We were both in heaven last time.
It was great, wasn't it?
Let me rest a bit.
Just for a moment.
Ten minutes.
Just ten minutes.
We'll do it again, okay?
I'll…
We'll do it again, okay?
Don't be upset.
No. You…
Ask my wife if you don't believe me.
My wife says I'm really good in bed.
How about I give you her phone number.
Call her and ask.
I gave her two kids.
So I have no problem at all.
Don't you agree?
But the fact is…
we haven't had sex for some time.
Could it be that?
It has affected my performance?
Must be it.
Not humping for a while.
It made me come too quickly.
It's alright.
Let me rest for a bit.
Don't be upset.
You look so sweet even crying.
Here.
One drag of this
and you'll be less nervous.
Here. Go on!
I know you're not happy.
Got you all excited.
Well, even the very best
can stumble once in a while.
Men can be like this sometimes.
What are you doing?
You're sick too?
So it's not just me.
Then you can't blame me.
Right?
Hey! What are you doing?
Don't fuck with me!
I'm warning you!
Hey!
You're getting violent!
You fucking bitch!
Stop throwing stuff!
Who do you think you are?
You're just a hooker!
Don't think I can't hurt you
because I'm injured!
You're a whore!
Hey! Stop it now!
Fucking bitch!
Fucking cunt!
Hurry. What's wrong?
It's you, Shui!
It's me!
What's wrong with your wife?
A fucking attitude!
I didn't even touch her and she ran off!
- Go after her!
- Look for her.
- Follow me!
- Okay.
- Beat that slut!
- Catch her!
We must get her!
We must kill her!
Mui!
Mui!
Hey! Are they on the boat already?
Should be around here. Keep looking!
I don't know. Where are they?
Don't know where they are.
We'll find them.
- Are they on the boat?
- No. The boat's right here.
The boat's right here!
Call the cops! Secure their boat.
Don't let them go!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui.
Mui!
It's me, Little Bro.
No! She's a bit traumatized.
Mui!
Where are you going?
Let's go home.
I'm Little Bro.
Dad and Bro are both here.
Let's go home, okay?
Yes! Let's go home!
I'll find you a stronger guy!
- Be a good girl!
- Let's go home.
Let's go home.
Let's go home.
Let's go home. Come…
- Mui!
- Grab the net!
- Mui!
- Grab the net!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Let's go home!
Up next, the local news.
The estimated 9,95 billion yuan
HK-Zhuhai-Macau Bridge
is officially opened today.
Chinese President Xi Jinping launched the
bridge at an opening ceremony in Zhuhai,
attended by HK's first female
Chief Executive, Carrie Lam,
and former Chief Executive
Leung Chun Ying.
This massive landmark
in the Greater Bay Area is hoped to boost
the economic development between HK,
Macau and mainland China.
According to the HK Transport and Housing
Bureau, this mega bridge ran over budget,
with all three districts proportionately
spending an additional 4,6 billion yuan.
HK alone contributed 2 billion yuan.
Given that it had sought LegCo's approval
for this additional funding,
it is questioned if Hong Kong government
would return the wealth to the people,
once the bridge has
an operating surplus in the future.
So this is the bridge?
Which is the left and the right?
Go forwards and you'll reach
my native Zhuhai.
Go backwards and it's Hong Kong.
Where are we going now?
You still want to track down
Lu Ting to cure Mui?
No, Mui's not a Lu Ting.
If so, she'd have swam off
a long time ago.
Then where should we go now?
How the hell would I know?
I'm not from Hong Kong.
Don't ask me!
A lot of girls.
Alright. Alright.
Whoa!
How can you choose?
Hello, bosses.
Hello. How are you?
I'm Qingqing, from Heilongjiang.
- Heilongjiang.
- I'm from Henan.
- I'm Lingling, from Guizhou.
- I'm Xixi, from Mongolia.
Hi, handsome bosses,
I'm Sau Ming from Guangxi.
This one's good. I can talk to her.
- Hello, I'm Jiajia from Hunan.
- I'm Waiwai from Beijing.
Where are you from?
You've stayed in Zhuhai for a long time?
I'm sorry.
You forgot? I'm from Guangxi.
I speak Cantonese!
Yes…Guangxi.
- And you? From Macau?
- No. From Hong Kong.
Hong Kong?
Where in Hong Kong?
- You won't know even if I told you.
- Come on. Tell me.
Sure, I can tell you.
If you marry me, I'll tell you.
Marry you?
I don't even know your name.
How can I marry you?
Call me Mr. Four Eyes.
No. Just call you charming Four Eyes.
Now can you tell me where you live?
Okay. I live at Lantau Island.
Lantau Island?
That's right.
You don't know it?
Lantau Island is famous for many things.
- Like?
- Lu Ting are the most famous.
- Is that edible?
- No!
I'm their descendent. Listen!
Legend has it…sirens lived far out at sea…
With enchanting eyes and seductive smiles.
When seafarers chanced upon
such fair maidens…
Thrust one's mighty phallus
to tame their lustful ways!
- And break their evil spells!
- Is that really true?
Mr. Smart-Ass! A round of applause!
- Thank you! Thank you!
- Finished? Let's continue…Focus!
I didn't make it up!
I didn't make it up!
Fine, I'll get changed
and we can go out?
Great! Great!
Hurry up.
Get up! Get up!
The police are here!
Don't move! Don't move!
Isn't this a secret place?
Show your identity card!
Don't move!
ID card!
Show me!
Show me!
Are you two in China for business?
We're tourists from Hong Kong.
Yes, we're here for the karaoke.
Take those with China IDs outside first!
Out! Move!
Get up! Show me your ID!
Leaving so soon!
I didn't even get to touch her!
What's his name?
Lu Ting.
And her?
What's her name?
Sau Ming.
You both are lying obviously.
All the way from Hong Kong
to prostitute, Miss?
You cunning fox.
You were faking it!
Take her out!
No! We're really from Hong Kong…
- Take her out!
- Help me!
We're getting married!
You're lucky to have been caught here,
it's better than between the sheets!
I'm really only here to sing!
An all-nighter deal isn't it?
That's it for tonight.
Step outside and pay a fine!
Hello? Fatty?
Can you loan me $5,000? I'm in Zhuhai!
In trouble again?
You want the money now?
I can't leave without paying!
Where do I get $5,000
in the middle of the night?
Sea - sea: big lake; a base of, ocean
Close to the mainland,
waters smaller than the ocean
Used for lake names - Large capacity
Large number of people - Aimlessly
Big Brother,
when Mui gets off work,
you both can meet.
- Have dinner before you leave.
- No, I'm not staying for dinner.
Because there's no sea patrol at night.
How's business?
Business will pick up
with the fishing moratorium.
- Give me a bigger cut then!
- Greedy bastard!
Second Brother,
I want to get a new laptop. Get an Apple.
Not enough?
- Here you go.
- Thank you!
Thank you.
Come back next month!
Next month?
That's right before the moratorium.
I'll be busy.
- Maybe the month after.
- Take care!
Give me those too!
Greedy jackass brother!
Why's there a long queue?
Many girls there?
No need for many! This one's good enough.
Second Brother!
I've told you I want to
marry your daughter?
Have you decided?
You just want to get laid,
why bother marrying?
- I love her!
- Love?
Fine. Tell me how much money you want.
You are so heartless, making her a whore.
If she doesn't do this,
how do you get off?
- I'm coming up.
- Move your ass.
Mui.
How are you?
It's me again.
Mui's very busy.
There's a long line outside.
They want a quickie
before going home for dinner.
The condom is on the table!
Use it!
- I'm on it!
- Remember to use it!
Stroke, 8, 9, 10!
More power!
Another round? Pay up first!
You pay per shot.
What if you can shoot 30 times?
How could we make money?
Lucky Scepter moves up fast
with Ultimate Glory on the outside!
Moving forwards within the pack.
Last 100 meters! Solar Kingdom on
the rails! Lucky Scepter in the middle!
Ultimate Glory out wide…closing in!
Lucky Scepter wins!
Hey!
Take this…
Move this too!
- It's heavy!
- Let's move it together.
Give me this.
Lunch's here!
Hong's asking us to go to
Shenzhen tonight for girls.
So, want to go?
Hey, Four Eyes!
No freaking way!
China whores cost too much!
Why travel so far?
Just go to that Tanka boat girl!
Same as any mainland chick!
One's an army operation,
one's a navy operation.
Fuck! The sea chick is super hot!
A goddess with snowy flesh,
and a voluptuous bosom too.
We can't afford housing,
but at least we can buy boobs!
- Don't you agree?
- For real?
Why would I lie?
One more thing.
Doing it on the boat…that swaying motion.
- It's like doing it in outer space.
- Awesome!
Wow! People still buy
grave plot for burial?
Yeah. They still do it?
Burial items are costly too.
Including The Show…
Sure Win's going for it!
Also Paddington and the rest!
Now they're entering the straight!
Holding a steady lead is Dr. Proactive!
Closing in strongly
is Starlet in the middle.
The Show goes wide
while London Master is on the rails.
Almost 100 meters out
and it's neck-and-neck.
It's Dr. Proactive
with Applause storming up behind.
Let's see who wins!
Looks like The Show
going wide may place third!
Let's see who'll be first.
Hey!
Where's your father?
He's not here?
What's this?
You never mentioned you have a kid…
You're breast feeding. Behave yourself!
It feels great with a baby.
I want you to be my wife.
You're not a whore.
You're a fish.
I won't screw around anymore.
Let's make a baby together!
Sarah, who got off the horse?
Now let's look at no.3,
London Master, who just mounted…
Today's your first time
commentating at Happy Valley.
Yes…
What happened in Shatin?
How many thousand was that?
-Millions on a four-race accumulator bet.
-And you predicted it?
This one's a conundrum!
Mui.
There's a silly guy who wants
to marry you.
It's Four Eyes!
I'm so happy!
Happy? But I'll miss you.
That dumbass,
I think he's poorer than us.
Where will he get the money to marry you?
For #4, #5 and #8. A3 pays 2,8 times…
A2 has the highest odds.
But you're different,
and handsome.
It'd be a shame
if you didn't bless a girl.
Didn't Four Eyes tell you?
He found a girl willing to marry him!
Are you sure?
Who would marry a shitface like him?
- It's for real!
- He borrowed money from you again?
- Of course he did.
- And you gave it to him?
What's with the phone call?
We're here to eat!
I'm really busy.
Your grandma nagged me
for not getting married.
Serves you right.
Don't eat too much ginkgo!
You'll waste sperm with wet dreams.
Didn't they teach you that in school?
Teach?
- I only ate one piece of gingko!
- You mustn't waste even a drop of sperm!
I got a call from Mainland police.
It was about that Zhuhai incident.
It turns out that Hong Kong girl
is still being detained.
And she's not able to come back.
What?
Didn't Fatty settle the payment for you?
Yes, but the cops
still came looking for me.
- Bad luck.
- Not quite.
You're lucky with the girls.
Butter face Boy!
Scored a Hong Kong whore in China.
- What's so funny?
- But you're one unlucky dickhead.
If the police didn't show up,
you still thought
that you scored a hot slut.
Here, have more sea snails.
They help keeping you wet.
The fishing moratorium is near.
No more sea snails for you then.
- Eat more!
- There's fish.
Fish?
Fish doesn't get you wet.
It'll hurt if it's too dry.
Doesn't hurt…
You won't suffer, but I will.
Is this funny to you?
What? Haven't you moaned enough already?
Finish up and we can start work.
I think, that Four Eyes
was just being impulsive.
I doubt he has the money to marry you.
He's all skin and bones.
He probably can't satisfy you at all.
Even if you go to the city with him,
you won't survive long.
Transportation is expensive.
There is rent and utility bills.
Not like living on a boat,
completely free!
No money…
Yes! You can't live without money!
We have a fantastic sea view.
No hustle and bustle.
Rocking on the boat…
Swim wherever we want…
Isn't this great?
Riding back and forth…
But then…
Once you get married and live on land,
life won't be so hard for you,
and for me.
I guess that's better.
OUTER HARBOR PASSENGER TERMINAL
Hey, Four Eyes!
The police are looking for you!
Looking for me?
If the cops ask where we ship our cargo,
say you don't know. Got it, Four Eyes?
I really don't know where it goes.
Unless it's to North Korea or something.
Stop talking!
Let's work!
No! Wait till the cops leave!
Get back in! Go inside.
I'm at the cemetery during the day,
here at night.
Two nights ago at the cemetery,
someone stole burial items from a tomb.
I was in Zhuhai.
- Zhuhai?
- Yes.
To do what? Sell stolen goods.
I went to Zhuhai to get laid.
Any proof?
What? Proof of hooking up with a chick?
- How about my ferry ticket?
- Show me.
A gambling addict!
A sore loser! Piece of shit!
Loser.
Chop off my hand! Stop me from gambling.
Come on! Grab the cleaver!
Hurry up!
Chop it!
Chop it off!
Do it now!
Take it!
Hand…Useful…
Down there…Useless as fuck…
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Go!
Hey, Brother!
Tough luck!
Mui is on her period.
Can't see anyone now.
No, I'm not here for that!
Come here!
There! Here's… $70,000!
$10,000 more than you asked for!
The extra $10,000 is your bonus!
- Wow! You got it!
- Of course!
Look!
You can marry Mui,
but she still has to live here.
- And continue the business.
- Are you nuts?
Mui will live with me
in the safest place on earth!
She won't be a Tanka boat girl anymore!
Go ashore?
Why the hell not? So?
- You have property?
- Yes!
It's okay. No need.
Wow! Can't believe
that fuckface married my goddess.
That dude always asks
girls to marry him.
The trick seems to really work!
He loves her unconditionally
and doesn't mind her baby.
I couldn't do it.
Not really. His wife
does have a fantastic body.
Clever boy! Sneaked out for a taste.
And didn't breathe a word!
Sorry! But I've tasted her too!
- For real?
- In one word, exceptional!
Yes! I'd do her again!
I was going to try her out next week.
Too fucking late now!
Hey! Stop with the bullshit.
She's our sister-in-law now.
The wife of a friend.
What's wrong with that?
We're just talking.
- Freedom of speech!
- No way. Not one stray thought.
Good! Look here!
Ready… Smile!
Land - land, continental, army
Land above water
Following manner - Jump - Surname
Aren't you done yet?
The food's getting cold!
What's up?
You're unhappy?
It must be a little awkward to do it here.
I don't get it. Doing it on land
or at sea is the same, ain't it?
It's still doing it in a bed.
Don't…Don't be upset.
Alright?
Sister.
The neighbors complained
about a woman at your place.
Kids are scared of her.
What?
Scared of what?
Are you scared?
Like this?
Keep calm, Granny.
What are you looking?
Let's go.
Let's go.
Hey, Four Eyes! What's up?
Not enough sleep?
You're fired.
Don't just stand there.
Grab your stuff.
Come and get your salary.
- What?
- Come and get your salary.
You useless piece of…
Come over here!
What fucking bitch mothered
a dickhead like you!
Weak, shit-for-brains…
Better off giving birth to roast pork.
Not sure who's the biggest idiot here.
To think I hired a shithead like you!
Move it, will you!
Get the fuck over here! You moron!
What are you doing?
Stop it! You're insane?
How old are you, Granny?
80 something?
82.
Wow! That's amazing.
Amazing! 82!
Mui?
Are you okay?
Stand up.
Good?
What are you looking for?
- A face mask.
- Yes.
You'd like that?
Is this much better? Swaying like a boat!
Excuse me!
Is this where Four Eyes lives?
Excuse me!
Is this where Four Eyes lives?
Are you family?
This address is correct.
I want to know if Four Eyes is around?
Brother Four Eyes lives here.
- What?
- She can't talk.
What's that?
She's a little crazy.
Mom says she's crazy.
She's crazy?
You… Crazy!
Hey, don't you live on the 9th floor?
What are you doing here?
Nothing.
Scram! You idiot!
There's nothing to see!
See…See…
Why are you sitting here?
Open the door!
Mui! Open the door!
- Woman!
- Mui. Open the door! Mui!
- Woman!
- What?
- Open the door, Mui!
- She said you have another woman!
Nonsense!
Don't get me in trouble
with the housing authority!
- Mui. Open up first!
- We'll get evicted from public housing!
And we'll have to live on the street!
Did you hear what I said?
- I heard you!
- I called the cops 15 minutes ago.
If we can get in,
take her away immediately.
Find a proper woman.
- Granny, you wanted grandchildren!
- I know it's hard.
Mui.
Mui.
Open up. Mui.
Don't kill yourself by overdoing it.
I understand your manly duties.
But overdoing it
doesn't guarantee a child.
She's not like the rest of us.
She's not normal.
Granny, what is this?
You son of a bitch!
Where did you find her?
- At sea.
- I bet she's wet.
Good lord!
She swallows a lot every day.
Did you work this hard
when you were young, Granny?
Don't talk nonsense!
She's truly sick.
I'm afraid you'll be sucked dry.
Take her to the Chinese doctor downstairs.
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Baby, you know where mommy went?
Mui!
Hey, what are you doing there?
Go! Come with me!
Stop looking! Let's go!
I'm warning you! Don't try to seduce her!
- Don't blame me! She seduced me first!
- I don't believe it!
My wife's a sea gypsy!
She'll never do such a thing!
Let's go!
Mui, add an extra set of chopsticks!
Is someone joining us?
Who is this?
This is Big Brother.
I'm her father!
Yes, he's her father.
And also her baby's father.
What?
Him? I remarried your daughter to him!
Remarried?
Remarried?
You lost money again?
Don't say "again"!
I was just unlucky that's all!
You'd rather sell my daughter
than the boat?
Sell the boat? Where would I live?
You bastard!
No wonder you're a sore loser!
They really love each other.
- Not my fault!
- You'd lie to me?
Stop! Stop.
You filthy old bastards!
You raped your own daughter!
Married her off to this piece of shit!
And then passed her on to me?
You deserve to be punched!
She's your wife!
And you pimp her out?
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
You deserve to be punched too!
And you want a cut
of her hard-earned cash?
- Hard-earned? She loves it!
- Yes! Not hard-earned at all!
Stop it already!
You're not much better!
Back on land…
Don't come here then, smartass!
You can't survive on salt water!
Young man. What's your name?
Call me Four Eyes.
Now, I'm Big Brother.
He's Second Brother.
- So you're Little Bro.
- Fine. Little Bro then.
You're the youngest here, Little Bro.
From now on, Mui's your responsibility.
Now that we're family,
let's figure something out.
- Start a business.
- I get it now.
You guys want Mui to sell her body again?
Let me tell you something!
As long as I'm around,
don't even think of pimping out Mui!
- Notice any strangers around?
- No.
It's the usual crowd.
Our regulars.
Between these three,
A1 pays 1,8 times for #3 and #10.
A2 pays 3,2 times for #4, #5 and #8.
A3 pays 2,8 times.
A2 has the highest odds.
We're running out of rice!
If we carry on like this,
we'll soon have to beg for food.
Little Bro! She's horny again!
Poor girl…
Was she like that when younger?
Yeah, and I thought she had epilepsy.
Little Bro.
Why don't you find a way to satisfy her.
What if I can't satisfy her?
Why don't you guys try? Okay?
You're the eldest, Big Brother.
You have my respect, please go first!
No way, that's incest.
What a pussy.
Why don't you do it?
I'm handicapped.
Bastards! I'm worn out
and you still want me to do it!
Hey!
Hey!
Wait. I'll be there.
No glove, no love, Little Bro!
Don't bother with those two bastards.
Let's make a baby!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry. I can't get it up.
I'm as old as Big Brother.
But I've an idea.
As you can all see…
Her abalone-like opening
is completely different from most girls.
Can't you see? Her labia spread outwards.
Isn't abalone seafood? It has wings?
I'll try to answer both your questions.
I'll demonstrate with a papaya.
But remember,
it's also a psychological disorder.
So be extra careful.
There! Can you see?
Like this…
And she'll erupt in orgasmic heaven!
Got it?
But if I push in farther,
then she won't feel it.
Understood?
So…if I stick it in further,
I won't touch that, right?
Not touching it doesn't mean
she won't feel pleasure.
This is the part you need to focus on!
Actually, it is a medical disorder.
A lowly hyper-sexual disorder
for a low-end patient.
Does such an illness exist?
I've heard of low-end consumers.
A pussy can be low-end too?
Of that I'm not certain.
But from a Chinese
and western medical standpoint, yes!
So, how do you fix it?
There's no cure.
But, you can cut it off.
Or send her men every day.
- Every day?
- That's right.
Can she still have children
if we cut it off?
How would I know?
I'm not a gynecologist!
Then why'd you come over?
- No choice! His friend made me come.
- Yes! My grandmother.
Doesn't matter.
I have a suggestion.
What suggestion?
She has a rare gift.
A one-in-a-million beauty!
You must cherish her.
Her pussy might become
cultural heritage someday!
It'll be worth a lot.
Hey! Let's take a photo to commemorate it.
Alright. Alright.
Damn it, not so close!
It'll be like a dark forest!
Pull back! You idiot.
This button…
It vibrates.
- Heads…
- Double-heads.
Five.
Four points. You lose.
Three!
Five points.
Almost.
You lose.
Pay up!
Your turn.
Eight.
Is it working?
Four points.
- Three points!
- Three each…
- Heads.
- Yeah, heads.
- Two.
- Shit! One point.
Eight.
Where's the phone?
You pushed it all the way in?
Should we tie her up?
Like how they tie up drug addicts.
Maybe it'll help to cure her?
Isn't it too brutal?
I want to cure her. Tie her up!
Mui, what are you doing?
Mui, you alright?
Mui.
Be careful!
Mui.
Don't let her go!
Mui.
Mui…Don't!
Mui. Don't!
- Is this being abusive?
- No, not if it cures her.
- And if it doesn't?
- Still no. Little Bro, I support you.
But we don't know how long she'll survive.
It'll work.
It'll work.
Next.
Next.
Mui.
You're doing well, Mui. Business is great!
Scream louder!
Mui's a good girl.
The clients want to bring
their own costumes and toys.
Yes. It's true!
Let's jack up the prices.
It's fair. With Mui's ability…
That's true.
Let's add an underwater
sexcapade special then.
What's so funny? Be serious.
Next up.
What's with you guys?
Aren't you my friends?
Let's drop the personal feelings today.
We're here to get laid.
Don't think of us as friends.
But that's… like screwing my wife?
Just close your eyes
and don't think about it.
Blame it on Shui for bragging about her.
You…
You bastards!
Don't get too worked up about it.
Don't let personal feelings
interfere with business!
That's right. Bro!
You can't achieve much with that attitude!
- That's right. Don't limit yourself.
- Fuck you, bastards!
So good.
I've struggled with this for a while.
We grew up together.
He's not just a friend.
To be honest,
I don't really want to fuck her.
Not me. I'm not so pretentious.
I know this sounds vicious.
Like a terrorist…
But ain't I right?
Well, think of it this way.
If you go to Mongkok to get a hooker,
would you care
about who she is?
Fuck no.
I only need to know she's a whore.
- Even that asshole wants a shot!
- Shut up. It's just business.
- Who's she married to in Hong Kong?
- Me.
- Who are you?
- I'm her father.
There's been reports
of illegal activities here.
- Drugs?
- Not drugs. Prostitution.
No one lives here! Which boat?
You shouldn't dock here.
Then where can we live?
Can you get me public housing?
- Apply for it.
- Apply? Are you kidding me?
Whatever, you can't dock your boat here.
You must leave
Gin Drinker's Bay by 7:00 p.m.!
If you show up here again,
we'll impound your boat and arrest you.
Understand?
Nothingness-sky, energy,
air
No content
No result - Off the ground,
above the ground - Unused
- How is it?
- She's having an episode again.
It's becoming more serious.
Okay.
- What's this?
- An electric massage chair.
She wants a massage?
You old fool, lagging behind the times.
I suspect Mui's a siren of the sea.
- She squeals just like a dolphin.
- Siren my ass. What makes you think that?
Why don't you go to Lantau Island
and check it out?
- Check what?
- Your ancestry.
I once read a Hong Kong
folk tale about Lu Ting.
It said they originated
in the Pearl River Delta.
They fled war and ended up
on Lantau Island.
It's in the "New Essays of Guangdong".
If a seafarer chances upon a siren,
thrust the male member
to tame the lustful maiden.
And break her evil spell.
Smoke! Fire! A big fire!
Smoke!
Help!
Help!
Anyone there?
Want to do business?
Want to do business?
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Want to do business?
Go home and eat shit!
Brother.
Let's go somewhere else.
Police came to warn them.
Little Bro left with his family.
- Where's Four Eyes?
- Four Eyes is Little Bro.
How unfortunate.
- What do you want with him?
- I got in trouble in Zhuhai a while back.
He bailed me out
so I'm here to return his money.
Give it to me then.
I lent the money to him.
Give it to you?
No. Better hand it to him directly.
Why didn't you return here
with us last time?
It wasn't easy for me.
I was locked up for a whole month.
I had to write a Letter of Repentance
and attend rehabilitation classes
before release.
After rehabilitation,
you are not a hooker anymore.
What hooker?
Your mom didn't teach you manners?
Sorry.
I'll bring some mates along
to support you someday.
Support me?
You go to China to get hookers,
how can you afford me?
But why not?
I don't know where I'll go next.
The government's promoting
the Greater Bay Area.
I'll take a look there.
Forget it. I'm sure there's a school here
that will take you in. Don't be a hooker.
Fuck you, Fatty!
Try not to fall into the sea.
Where are we now?
Why are there so many fishing boats?
This is Hong Kong's Aberdeen Fishing Port.
Of course there are many boats.
Good morning, Boss!
Want to do business?
Want to do business?
- No response.
- Keep going.
Hey! That one?
- Keep looking.
- Keep looking.
Hey, Boss! Want to do business?
- What?
- Go closer.
What business?
Take a look.
- You shitting me? Do it in that tiny boat?
- No. She can come over to your boat.
No way! Don't dirty my boat!
Alright.
Pops, I'm going over for a short while.
Hey! We have business!
What the fuck is that?
Hey!
Hey!
Who the fuck are you guys?
Motherfuckers!
You still pimp her out
after she pops out a bastard child?
Have you no conscience? No shame?
You crazy shitheads!
I'll still treat the baby as my own.
Don't talk. Just eat.
You need the energy.
We can't keep doing this.
It won't help cure her disorder.
She's fine now.
It's fixing the symptom
but it's not a cure.
Shall we go ashore to get some meds?
Give it a try?
After getting the meds,
we'll leave right away.
Hey, Second Bro.
I remember a book I read.
What are you getting at? Get to the point.
If Mui's a demon,
then we have to find
a Buddha to restrain her.
What? I don't know.
No. You are children of the ocean.
So, a fish will be a Buddha of the sea.
What do you mean?
Told you to get meds
and you bought a fish?
Are you insane? Buying such a giant one?
You want to fuck up her pussy?
Seems I have to be
the decision maker again.
We'll work with what we've got.
Put two layers of protection on the fish!
Bring the condoms.
Come on. Put it on.
Tough it out Mui.
- Yummy.
- Eat more then.
Haven't seen her so happy in a while.
Can't believe an eel tamed Mui.
And it tastes great too.
Attaboy. Once we dock,
buy more eel, Bro.
In case Mui has another episode,
get a few extra eels next time.
- We're not rolling in money.
- We are.
We were flooded with online bookings
while you were cooking.
And we got many likes too!
We'll have money again.
Look at your scrawny face.
Perfect for a pimp.
You skinny ass.
Thank you.
Mui, we're back in business again.
Aren't you happy?
Not happy.
- Not happy? Why not?
- Why not?
With fish…Happy.
Fish?
Perhaps Little Bro's story is true.
Since we're so close to Lantau Island,
let's go take a look.
Okay.
Good!
But can we get any business there?
- Where there are men, there are customers.
- Good. I'll put some bait up online.
Wow! Fireworks.
Why so sudden? Where are we now?
The Gods must have sensed our joy,
and fired off fireworks to celebrate!
- It's Disneyland.
- For real?
- So we passed Disneyland?
- Let's go there next year!
I won't waste that kind of money.
They do it every night at this time.
Seahorse is the perfect nickname for you.
Money means everything, no matter what.
I'm not like Big Brother.
Cowardly like a sea turtle.
And you, Goldfish.
Goldfish?
What about my daughter?
I got it.
There's a fish that fits her perfectly.
It's a tonguefish!
A tonguefish?
Bro! Tai O's waterway is too narrow.
Let's use your boat.
- What about your boat?
- Dock it at the perimeter first.
Mr. Chan!
Mr. Chan!
Mr. Chan!
Who the fuck is screaming out there?
- Mr. Chan!
- Can't you see I'm meditating!
Are you Mr. Chan?
We're from Ocean Health Services,
I have your delivery here.
What delivery?
Hey. Show it to him.
Wow! There's a baby too.
Is it buy one, get one free?
Quite creative!
I like that. Come on up.
Boss, give me a good price for the fish.
Then what will I live on?
Get lost.
You whiner.
You filthy girl.
Not so loud.
Hey, sir.
Do you know who painted
this Lu Ting map of Lantau?
How would I know?
I don't even know who put it up there.
Lu Ting!
The legendary half-fish,
half-man creature.
It is able to tame evil spirits
and remove spells.
Brother. Go to a temple
to remove evil spells.
This proves Lantau's
connection to the Pearl River Delta.
Look!
Here. This curvaceous feminine opening!
Which means, back in 410 A.D.,
during the Eastern Jin dynasty,
Lu Ting traveled to Lantau Island
and became Lantau locals.
- Are you a property agent?
- No, sir.
Aren't you a native of Lantau Island?
Mr. Leung!
Mr. Lee!
Mr. Chow!
So many likes.
Mr. Wong!
Mr. Ho!
Mr. Lau!
Mui has a powerful voice.
Sounds amazing.
Just like dolphins out at sea.
Let's catch that slut! Beat her to death!
She's over there. Catch the whore!
It's me. Shui.
I'm your husband's good friend.
I'm back again.
I've been searching online,
and followed you to Tai O.
It's touching, right?
Look what I brought.
Happy?
I'm really into you.
I'm inside.
Let's start.
My bad.
Sorry.
I came too fucking fast.
Strange.
Darn, why is it like this?
Must be this damn arm.
I lost too much blood back then.
It must have drained me.
Lost all my vigor.
You know. I ain't…
I was so awesome last time.
Right?
You remember.
I'm not like this.
We were both in heaven last time.
It was great, wasn't it?
Let me rest a bit.
Just for a moment.
Ten minutes.
Just ten minutes.
We'll do it again, okay?
I'll…
We'll do it again, okay?
Don't be upset.
No. You…
Ask my wife if you don't believe me.
My wife says I'm really good in bed.
How about I give you her phone number.
Call her and ask.
I gave her two kids.
So I have no problem at all.
Don't you agree?
But the fact is…
we haven't had sex for some time.
Could it be that?
It has affected my performance?
Must be it.
Not humping for a while.
It made me come too quickly.
It's alright.
Let me rest for a bit.
Don't be upset.
You look so sweet even crying.
Here.
One drag of this
and you'll be less nervous.
Here. Go on!
I know you're not happy.
Got you all excited.
Well, even the very best
can stumble once in a while.
Men can be like this sometimes.
What are you doing?
You're sick too?
So it's not just me.
Then you can't blame me.
Right?
Hey! What are you doing?
Don't fuck with me!
I'm warning you!
Hey!
You're getting violent!
You fucking bitch!
Stop throwing stuff!
Who do you think you are?
You're just a hooker!
Don't think I can't hurt you
because I'm injured!
You're a whore!
Hey! Stop it now!
Fucking bitch!
Fucking cunt!
Hurry. What's wrong?
It's you, Shui!
It's me!
What's wrong with your wife?
A fucking attitude!
I didn't even touch her and she ran off!
- Go after her!
- Look for her.
- Follow me!
- Okay.
- Beat that slut!
- Catch her!
We must get her!
We must kill her!
Mui!
Mui!
Hey! Are they on the boat already?
Should be around here. Keep looking!
I don't know. Where are they?
Don't know where they are.
We'll find them.
- Are they on the boat?
- No. The boat's right here.
The boat's right here!
Call the cops! Secure their boat.
Don't let them go!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui.
Mui!
It's me, Little Bro.
No! She's a bit traumatized.
Mui!
Where are you going?
Let's go home.
I'm Little Bro.
Dad and Bro are both here.
Let's go home, okay?
Yes! Let's go home!
I'll find you a stronger guy!
- Be a good girl!
- Let's go home.
Let's go home.
Let's go home.
Let's go home. Come…
- Mui!
- Grab the net!
- Mui!
- Grab the net!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Mui!
Let's go home!
Up next, the local news.
The estimated 9,95 billion yuan
HK-Zhuhai-Macau Bridge
is officially opened today.
Chinese President Xi Jinping launched the
bridge at an opening ceremony in Zhuhai,
attended by HK's first female
Chief Executive, Carrie Lam,
and former Chief Executive
Leung Chun Ying.
This massive landmark
in the Greater Bay Area is hoped to boost
the economic development between HK,
Macau and mainland China.
According to the HK Transport and Housing
Bureau, this mega bridge ran over budget,
with all three districts proportionately
spending an additional 4,6 billion yuan.
HK alone contributed 2 billion yuan.
Given that it had sought LegCo's approval
for this additional funding,
it is questioned if Hong Kong government
would return the wealth to the people,
once the bridge has
an operating surplus in the future.
So this is the bridge?
Which is the left and the right?
Go forwards and you'll reach
my native Zhuhai.
Go backwards and it's Hong Kong.
Where are we going now?
You still want to track down
Lu Ting to cure Mui?
No, Mui's not a Lu Ting.
If so, she'd have swam off
a long time ago.
Then where should we go now?
How the hell would I know?
I'm not from Hong Kong.
Don't ask me!