Those Were the Days (1997) Movie Script

This film is dedicated

to those who pirate movies.

Because with or without our approval...

you're going to pirate this movie anyway.

Winner of Most Popular

Romance Movie 1967

I Love A Go-Go

Starring: Lee Kei and Ching Po-chu

The winner of tonight's

A Go-Go competition is...

contestant number three,

Lee Kei and Ching Po-chu.

They win the grand prize of $3,000 in cash!

Kei.

Now that we have won the grand prize...

we can use this money

to cure your illness...

and pay for your brother to go to college.

I wouldn't have to worry about you then.

Po-chu.

If we spend this money wisely...

we can even afford to get married

and raise babies together.

Did you really think

you're good enough to win?

Po-chu has promised to marry me.

That's why I coerced the judges

into letting you win. You fool.

You... despicable, shameless...

nasty, cheap...

scum of the earth!

Beat him!

Did you really think I'd marry you?

You're dirt poor.

—Now do you believe me?

—You're cheap!

You want money?

Fine!

I'll give you money...

You want money, don't you? No, wait.

Let me pick them up first.

You want money?

Fine! I'll give money!

Winner of Most Popular

Action Movie 1967

White Bone Yin Yang Sword

Starring: Ngau Tat-wah and Yi Sau-chow

He's using Yin Ming Claws!

Don't worry.

We'll get him with our qigong.

No... stay away from me.

—No...

—Help me, Chu.

If he kisses me one more time,

I'll be reduced to nothing but bones!

Never fear! I have found

the White Bone Yin Yang swords!

What?

Oh no, a tree monster!

Tree monster! Don't come any closer!

The evil has been banished.

—Let's go home and get married.

—And have a baby come next month.

How cheeky of you.

I'm going to punish you.

Winner of Most Popular Comedy 1967

The Young Boss of the Factory

Starring: Tse Yuen and Siu Fong-fong

There, it's done.

Oh sorry, I guess I got it wrong.

Brother Wong.

You are actually

our boss's son, aren't you?

Or should I call you Young Boss Wong?

Don't play dumb.

You've been lying to me all along!

Wait, Fong-fong. I'm impressed.

Among all these workers...

you're the only one

who realized my true identity.

You're right.

I passed myself off as a factory worker...

to check for corruption in the factory.

I'm happy to note that there is

no such occurrence here.

Hey. Who turned off the lights?

Turned off the lights?

No one, it's still daytime.

The sun is shining bright, Fong-fong.

But why can't I see a thing?

Brother-in-law!

I'm afraid she must have

overworked herself.

It has taken a toll on her health

and now she has gone blind.

Really?

Fong-fong, don't worry.

You can have my eyes.

I can donate one of my cornea to her.

Then she'll be able to see again.

Ngau Tat-wah Top Ten Celebrities of 1969

Ngau Tat-wah Top Ten Celebrities of 1968

Ngau Tat-wah Top Ten Celebrities of 1967

I looked pretty good when I was young.

I think Aaron Kwok looks better.

Sheesh. If I were still twenty-five...

Gigi and Ivy would be crazy about me,

not Aaron Kwok.

Yeah, right.

I'll ABCD you, you cheeky boy.

So this is the ninth stance of

Buddha's Palm!

This is nice.

"Buddha's Palm" is on air again.

Ninth stance of Buddha's Palm!

Ten Thousand Buddhas!

I'd rather watch "Power Rangers."

—No, I'm watching "Buddha's Palm."

—No, I'm watching this!

Another word and I'll smack you!

Mommy...

Grandpa's bullying me!

He won't let me watch "Power Rangers."

Dad, are you bullying him again?

—I was just teasing him.

—Oh, forget it.

Or your son might think

I'm being mean to you again.

No, you're not mean to me.

I'm glad to hear that.

Why don't you go and play

with the maid or something?

The maid again?

—Maria, can I use your TV?

—No...

I'm watching Aaron Kwok.

You've got lousy taste.

Grandpa, you have a call!

Who is it?

It's from the TV station.

The TV station?

Hello? Yes.

This is Tat-wah.

A film award?

A press conference?

But I haven't been in a film for

over twenty years.

It's a tribute to Cantonese

movies of the sixties?

Well, then you've got the right person.

Sure, I'll be there.

I'm back in business!

Watch out, Aaron Kwok!

A tribute to sixties' Cantonese films

Press conference of

the Sixteenth Golden Cow Awards

Check if the guests have arrived yet.

Hey boy, do you work here?

Hey, watch your words. I'm a girl.

Who are you?

I'm one of the guests. I'm Ngau Tat-wah.

—Oh, the dude who came with Chow?

—Touchwood! Chow died years ago.

How are you doing?

Hey, boy.

Get me something to drink.

—What would you like?

—Coca-Cola.

Sorry, we're out of Coke.

Here, have a banana.

Are you kidding me?

If I were thirty years younger,

you'd be dead meat.

Buddy, just eat it.

I only got one half of a banana.

What's wrong with the organizers?

They are not treating us right.

Come on, do you think you're still a star?

Old guys like us are just the background.

Aren't they paying tribute

to Cantonese films of the sixties?

Yeah, right. More like a tribute

to Man in Black over there.

Who the heck is he?

How could you not know him?

He just won

the Best Director Award at Cannes.

He's the master of post-modern

expressionism movies.

No one can ever guess

what his next movie will be about.

Wong Jing-wai, you're awesome...

Wong Jing-wai, you're awesome!

Director Wong, a few words please?

I'm really happy to be here tonight.

But at the same time...

I also feel great sorrow.

I think I have done my bit in raising

the standards of Hong Kong films.

But I didn't expect this event to be a tribute

to Cantonese films of the sixties.

That's nonsense.

The sixties was the darkest era

of the Hong Kong film history.

When I look at those horrible

films produced in the sixties...

I feel ashamed for Hong Kong.

I AB your CD! You scamp!

Mind your language, old man.

I'm not finished yet.

What did he say?

I said, shut up, you old...

What's that? What is it...

You old-timer.

I'm only twenty-nine

and you call me an old-timer?

I don't have my old-man glasses on.

Where is he standing?

Take eight and a half steps forward.

He's standing on a platform.

Just punch straight and you'll

hit him where it really hurts.

I'm going to make you really sorry,

you impertinent scamp!

Don't you dare run.

You weren't even born when I began acting.

You don't scare me.

I've fought plenty of monsters in my time.

Hold it, Ngau.

This is just a board.

You'd better wear your glasses.

Why don't you go and wash your face?

Don't embarrass yourself.

Well, everyone, in order

to express my objection...

towards paying tribute to such bad films...

I'm withdrawing from

this year's Golden Cow Awards.

Because I personally feel that

those poorly made movies of the sixties...

that were hurriedly

cobbled together in seven days...

are nothing but a disgrace.

Everyone, please be quiet.

Sorry, I would like to stay longer,

but I have an urgent matter to attend to.

Nature calls. Well, in your words...

I need to take a dump.

So, please excuse me.

Oh, it's you.

Directors Wong Jing-wai and Wong Sing.

—May I take a picture?

—Sure!

I heard that your latest film

has been banned worldwide.

Well done.

I heard your latest film scored

zero in every single review.

That's quite a feat.

Okay, thank you.

Jerk.

What a jerk.

What do you mean?

It means jerk, you jerk.

Hey, directors.

Are you discussing something?

Anything newsworthy?

We were talking about...

the future of seventh-generation

directors of China.

And how to break into Hollywood.

Oh, I see.

But why are your noses bleeding?

Really?

Well, we just ran into

the sexy actress, Cheng Dan.

—Yeah, she sure is hot.

—Sounds like she has potential.

I have my headline.

"Cheng Dan Breaking Into Hollywood."

You're not a young lad anymore.

You ought to mind your temper.

How is it going?

—Have you seen Kei lately?

—No.

Yeah, and he didn't show up at

today's press conference either.

I heard he has fallen on hard times.

He even has a heart problem.

Someone told me that...

Kei once had a heart attack on the streets.

He was convulsing away on the ground,

but no one spared him a glance.

It's terrible.

Hong Kong people are too busy chatting

to even look down.

I don't worry about heart attacks.

You never know when it strikes anyway.

Come to think of it, I wonder how it feels

to have a heart attack?

I saw someone having a heart attack once.

That guy was rolling on

the floor in agony...

convulsing and unable to speak a word.

He was even foaming at the mouth.

It was horrible.

Too bad Kei isn't around today.

It would be even better if

Fong-fong and Po-chu had come too.

I'm Lee Kei. I'm right here...

Why doesn't anyone notice me?

How could you?

Fancy making me get pirated VCDs

and a knockoff VCD player for you.

I'm too famous to buy this stuff myself.

Oh, you even managed to find this.

Naughty Vampires Versus Horny Priest.

You're a film director.

You ought to know that pirated products...

are an infringement

of intellectual property rights.

Buying and selling pirated products

is no different from stealing.

Everyone does it.

But you said in an interview yesterday

that you will fight against piracy.

Well, I'm definitely against

anyone pirating my films.

I won't waste my breath on you.

I'll rather watch TV.

Wong Fei-hung, if we don't get

a sincere apology from you today...

What a rubbish film.

Well, it can be pretty entertaining.

You're my girlfriend.

Can't you be a bit more classy

and watch European films instead?

Hey dude, must you be such a film snob?

Where did that voice come from?

Over here.

Wai...

That guy in the TV is talking to you.

No way.

I am talking to you.

What's wrong with

sixties' Cantonese movies?

Your generation was raised by

those Cantonese movies.

You will be very sorry if you don't

apologize for your snobbish remarks.

You've got to be kidding me.

Why should I apologize for

speaking up about those films?

Those movies aren't great.

But life was tough back then.

The crew and the cast

put in a lot of effort...

to make films that

the audience would enjoy.

They weren't like you.

Spending big bucks making movies

that no one understands.

You think that's cool?

Those Cantonese films aren't easy to make.

F**k off!

Those Cantonese films aren't easy to make?

No way. Do you know who I am?

I won the Golden Cow Best Director Award.

I know you. You're... Chor Wu-yau, right?

I'm turning you off.

Is that right?

Why don't you try making one then?

Help...

Help... Let go of me, old man!

Where am I?

This is Wah-tat Production Studio in 1967.

I took you thirty years back in time.

Thirty years back in time? Very funny.

Believe it or not.

Since you're such a snob about

sixties' Cantonese films...

your punishment is to

make a Cantonese film in 1967.

I'll take you back to 1997

if someone likes your work.

Who are you?

I am Movies.

Hey, dude...

Hey, get changed.

What are you waiting for?

—Thanks...

—Thanks?

Do you need me to button you up?

You guys are such slowpokes.

Hey, we're needed on the set.

—The set? For what?

—For the film, of course.

Okay, Master Wong...

this scene is about you and Kin

getting into a fight.

I've filmed... more than

fifty episodes... of this show.

I don't need... to be told what to do.

—Let's get started already.

—All right.

Ready... camera!

Wong Fei-hung.

Are you here to pick a fight?

No, of course not.

I, Wong Fei-hung...

know that... my men have

offended you, Master Sek.

That's why I've brought them here...

to apologize to you... Master Sek.

I know how much

you like young, tender... chicks.

So I've specially ordered

chicken rice... for you.

Wong Fei-hung, if we don't get a sincere

apology from you today...

you won't step out of this place alive!

Fine, let's fight!

—You idiot!

—He hits harder than Jackie Chan.

Take off your glasses.

Come on, you're wearing a watch yourself.

Master Wong, do you really

want to start a fight?

—Look behind you.

—What?

—Master, catch!

—I'm ready!

—Master, are you dancing?

—Of course not.

You're playing hardball?

—Yes, I am!

—Fine! Watch out!

Up, down, left, right.

You can't get me...

Master, I'll get him!

Fool! I didn't ask for help.

Are you trying to steal my limelight?

—Master!

—Hold it...

Look over there.

I'm not falling for that again.

Master Wong, hit his head.

Master Wong.

You really have it in for me, don't you?

What's your name, hero?

I'm a gangster from Sham Shui Po.

Catch him. He's crazy.

Catch him...

Where did... that rascal... go?

Take one of "Beauty and the Seven Beasts."

Camera!

Please spare me some change.

Why are you drooling all over me?

I'm just a poor blind beggar.

—Spare me some change. Please.

—Sir.

You really shouldn't barge

into my bathroom.

Miss, I haven't had a meal for days.

Please spare me some food.

Preferably something rich and nutritious.

Milk would be perfect.

—Are you really blind?

—I really can't see a thing.

—Okay, I'll get you some food.

—Let me help you up.

What are you doing?

There he is! Get him!

I was so close...

Why did the stage backdrop

choose that moment to crash down?

Relax, dear. Have an apple.

All right. You're the best, honey.

Where is that rascal?

I'll kill him...

when I get my hands... on him!

Why are those people running around?

Aren't they Ching Po-chu

and Siu Fong-fong?

What a hot day.

I'm dying for a popsicle.

—Coming!

—Here we come.

—Giant popsicles.

Hi, Kei. Hi, Yuen.

Could they be Lee Kei and Tse Yuen?

If only you guys were real popsicles.

You're not edible.

Of course, we are.

Why don't you give it a lick?

Here, let me take it out.

See. Here it is. Let's share it.

Split it into two.

You've got one and I've got one.

He's got one and she's got one.

We are two of a pair.

I'm not a pair with you.

You turn tail and run

every time you see my mom.

Oh, yes. My mom has been

keeping a close eye on me lately.

She keeps asking me

if we've been seeing each other.

Really?

Oh well, what can we do?

We're just a couple of down-and-out actors.

Our society is so unfair.

Kei. Don't give up.

I know you'll make it big one day.

Po-chu. You're so nice to me.

I promise I'll work hard.

Listen...

I'll work hard and climb

to great heights.

So I won't disappoint you.

I'll work hard and climb

to great heights.

To make you joyful and happy.

Nothing matters more than hard work.

We will overcome all difficulties.

I believe with my perseverance...

I can make my dreams come true.

My dreams will come true...

Hi, madams. Here to visit your daughters?

—Hurry, hide yourselves.

—Quick! Hide.

Mommy.

—Mom.

—Po-chu.

Someone told me those two deadbeats,

Kei and Yuen, were here.

Is it true?

No, of course not. They haven't been here.

Why do you look so guilty then?

Fong-fong, be a good girl.

Tell me. Was Tse Yuen, that loafer, here?

Yes.

—They came by two days ago.

—That's right.

Mrs Siu, our girls are all grown up now.

They don't want us

meddling with their affairs.

They won't listen to us anymore.

Remember Mr Kwan's son, Mak-kei?

He's a rich and fine man.

But they aren't the least bit

interested in him.

—There's no one in there.

—Really?

Take that...

I guess you're right.

Wait, we could still be wrong.

It's better to play safe.

—Mom!

—Yes?

Let's go out for supper.

Sounds good. Let's go.

Are you crazy or something?

I thought Lee Kei was bad.

But now they are consorting

with a hunchback?

But I don't know him.

Let's nab him and give him a good grilling.

Move it...

Mrs Cheung...

—Help me, Mrs Cheung.

—Hey, dude.

It's not wise to grab her like this.

See? I warned you.

Mess with Mrs Cheung

and you're just asking for it.

You don't want to cross me.

Yung and his men are right outside.

Hey, it's Master Wong.

Brother... Cheung!

Mrs Cheung. I'm really... impressed.

If it weren't for you...

we wouldn't have

caught this... son of a... gun!

You flatter us.

But she's a really good fighter.

—Son, greet Master Wong.

—Hello, Master Wong.

Good boy. Good boy.

We have to go.

—Please excuse us.

—Why does he talk funny?

Kungfu masters are like that.

Mrs Cheung. Beware of your son.

One day, he will fight with you

over your inheritance.

Do not save him.

Hey, that's the guy.

Wow, look at all those bruises.

If it weren't for him, we would

have been killed by Po-chu's mom.

Hey, watch his head.

—Let's turn him around.

—Must we?

—Turn him this way.

—No, that way.

Hey, I said watch his head. Don't kill him.

He's not complaining, I'm sure he's fine.

That's because he's fainted, you idiot.

What did you call me? You son of a...

Hey, no swearing.

Did you guys just let go of him?

It's his fault...

Now's not the time to be pointing fingers.

Could you please put down my feet?

Slowly, please.

I'm still alive...

Hey, you aren't really a hunchback.

—You've been pretending to be one?

—That's right.

No, I'm not. This is my bag.

What are you up to? Confess now!

All right. Spit it out.

Start talking.

Are you guys Lee Kei,

Tse Yuen and Ngau Tat-wah?

Of course, who else could we be?

Who are you?

But Mr Lee, shouldn't you

be talking in a nasal voice?

Something like "you despicable

shameless scum."

Are you crazy? Why would I talk like that?

And you, Mr Tse.

Shouldn't you be

acting all poised and refined?

Aren't you always posturing

and smiling regally at everyone?

What happened to you?

What's there to smile about?

We're penniless.

We can't even afford nail clippers.

I have to trim my nails with my teeth.

Penniless? But you're

living in such a big apartment.

This is my bloody cousin's apartment.

We're merely here

as friggin' house sitters.

Once he comes back,

we'll be sleeping on the streets.

You have a rather foul mouth

for a movie star.

Why don't you try using...

alphabets or do, re, mi, fa, sol

to replace swear words?

For example, you can call me an "AB."

And no one will take offense.

It doesn't sound as good as swearing.

If you want to insult me, you could say...

"AB you, you CD of an E."

or "Do-Re you, you Mi-Fa of a Sol."

What do you think?

That does sound pretty interesting.

You ABCD.

Oh yes, dude.

You've offended Master Wong.

It's better if you stay away from the studio.

Or he might just kill you.

1967.

1967...

I was born in the year 1964.

What? I'm only three years old now?

—We rescued a lunatic.

—I'm not crazy.

Believe me, I'm from the year 1997.

Come on, don't worry about 1997.

Relax, man. The handover won't happen.

It did happen.

There were fireworks

and people were cheering.

And our airport will be

moved to Lantau Island.

It'll take three days to get home

from the airport then.

You're crazy. Let's get him to a hospital.

Wait... I can prove I'm not lying.

See?

This is what we call a VCD player.

These are pirated VCDs.

I bet you've never seen these.

I'll VC your D.

You're a quick learner.

You've got potential.

Let me play these VCDs.

It will be a real eye-opener for you all.

What did I tell you?

One thing's for sure.

You're a downright despicable scumbag!

I'll turn it off then,

That's what I like about you. Leave it.

I tell you.

The three of you

will become incredibly popular.

Incredibly popular?

Trust me.

There are no women here,

yet we're watching this.

I'd say it'll be a sleepless night for us.

How punctual.

—The ladies are here. Turn it off.

—Hurry...

—Coming.

—Hi, Yuen.

—Fong-fong!

—Po-chu.

—Hi, Kei

—Kei, we brought a friend along.

—Really?

Ka-yin?

Hello.

Auntie Ho?

Who the heck is Auntie Ho? She's Ka-yin.

She's fifty pounds thinner.

I can barely recognize her.

—Who is this?

—Auntie Ho, it's good to see you again.

Fong-fong, how did you

get away from your mom?

She thinks we're out playing mahjong.

That's my clever girl.

—Come and have a seat.

—Sure.

Po-chu, so who's the fourth player?

The fourth player?

It's Fat-fat.

Tat-wah, I really like your movies.

Your friend is huge.

Tat-wah, I want to sit with you.

Kei, this house seems pretty new.

But why does it feel

so creepy here at night?

Po-chu, you have pretty sharp intuition.

—This house is haunted.

—Really?

Just last night, I was on this couch...

when I heard something go

"thud, thud" underneath.

I bent down and checked under it...

but there was nothing there.

That's when I felt something

breathing down my neck.

When I turned around...

I saw this faceless creature

that didn't even have a mouth.

I'm scared!

I never thought I'd catch your fancy.

—I'm scared...

—Hey, that's enough.

Stop feeling me up. Let's watch TV instead.

—Is the late night show over?

—You're right.

Why is there sound but no picture?

You must have broken my TV.

Maybe it's just a problem

with the reception.

Ka-yin, let's go

and check out the TV antenna.

It's dangerous for you

to be up on the roof.

Which ABCD messed with

my TV antenna? I'll FG his DE.

—Tat-wah, my honey.

—Leave me alone.

I bought new swim wear today.

I'll AB your CD. Go away!

I look good in this mini skirt.

—Look at me.

—Yeah, right.

Aren't I ravishing?

—You're bleeding!

—Don't come any closer.

Help... Tat-wah fell off the roof!

Let's pull him up from the roof!

Wait! Just give me a second.

I get it. That's how he shot to fame.

This is how wire stunts came about.

That's how he invented wire stunts.

But what are wire stunts?

It is...

Let's pick him up first.

Camera.

I'm all alone in a foreign land.

I need to earn enough money to get

a physician for my ailing mother.

Please be generous and help me out.

Please request any song you'd like to hear.

Do you know the song

"Long Running River?"

You know, the one that goes,

"Long running river..."

Master... Nothing.

I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't know that song.

You don't seem to know anything.

I can teach you how to blow my flute.

Master Sek.

That's a very inappropriate comment.

She's a refined lady

trying to earn a living.

How could you ask her to blow your flute?

Wong Fei-hung.

Are you trying to pick a fight with me?

You're really asking for it.

Don't you dare lay a finger on my master!

Foshan Ghost-Shadow Kick!

Bravo!

What are you clapping for?

Are we filming a folk tale here?

How could he be flying in the air?

Well Master Wong,

your kungfu is getting stale.

His Ghost-Shadow Kick is something new.

It'll give people something to talk about.

What?

He's stealing the show from me. Get lost!

This is so unfair.

It's obvious wire stunts work,

but they refuse to use it.

You're the one who thinks it works.

And we're the only ones who believe you.

He's famous, he calls the shots.

I'll garrotte you with a wire

if you make me try wire stunts again.

Well, I think your wire stunts are great.

You look cool, and it looks great on TV.

You have some nice moves.

Come to my dressing room

and we can chat more.

What did she say?

I only caught the words

"nice moves" and "dressing."

Sister Chow said

she likes your wire stunts.

She asked you over to

her dressing room for a chat.

You're in luck, Tat-wah!

The biggest actress in showbiz

wants you in her dressing room for a chat.

Sister Chow, you seemed to have taken

quite a liking to Ngau Tat-wah.

Although he's a bit chubby...

and seems a little uncouth at times...

but he is quite manly.

Sister Chow, you sound utterly besotted.

Am I really wearing this?

It's Jean Paul Gaultier's style.

—Are you sure about this?

—It looks ridiculous.

Remember to watch what

you say around her. No swearing.

But I won't be able to help myself.

I'm telling you, this woman is

going to change your life.

What should he do?

I'm a big girl.

It's perfectly normal that

I would want a relationship.

But I think he can't quite

understand your Cantonese.

It will be such a let-down if the two of you

can't communicate properly.

You're right.

I have an idea.

We can do a voice-over for you

like we do for the movies.

I'll do the talking

and you'll just have to lip-sync.

Great idea!

Wait... we'd better not.

If we do that, I'll have to bring you along

on all my dates with him.

No, you won't have to.

As the two of you grow closer,

it'll be more action and less talking.

You're so naughty.

He's here. Quick, hide yourself.

Hurry.

Come in.

Miss Yi.

Your dressing room is really nice.

Well, it's all right.

Make yourself at home.

To be honest, Miss Yi...

I've been your admirer

for the longest time.

I love your long, lustrous hair.

Your bewitching eyes.

And your full figure.

You're absolutely intoxicating.

You flatter me, Tat-wah.

You're a fine specimen of a man yourself.

Tat-wah, are you all right?

Just a bit of a stomach ache.

Look, it's Yuen over there.

That penniless fool.

Who does he think he is?

He knows I'm interested in

Fong-fong and Po-chu.

Yet he and Lee Kei insist on

getting in my way.

Do you want us to teach him a lesson?

Good idea.

Very quietly I take my leave

As quietly as I came here

With a gentle wave of my sleeves

Not even a wisp of cloud do I bring away

What a beautiful poem!

I dropped something. Let me pick it up.

Remember to ask him

those questions we talked about.

Tat-wah, what do you do in your free time?

Why do you keep going "um, um?"

Do you...

do you need to use the washroom?

Is it urgent business?

You bloody scumbag!

Darn your family to hell!

Why would you say that?

Sau-chow...

I haven't told you this, but...

I graduated from Harvard.

Which is why I have an English accent.

What I said just now was "book" street.

B-O-O-K, book.

I meant that I'll book an entire

street, and invite my family over.

If we're going to have kids...

I'm afraid there won't be enough

seafood to go around.

You know, if we don't have seafood...

it would be such a shame.

Book a street to have seafood

with the family.

Yes, you're very good!

That's right.

I'm thinking of recommending

you to our boss tomorrow.

Besides doing wire stunts

and your Ghost-Shadow Kick...

can you also sing and dance?

—Yes.

—Then...

please sing me a song.

Sure, why don't you give me a beat?

One, two... one, two, three.

Stop right there!

Go on. Why aren't you singing?

Come on.

You have such silky soft skin.

Nothing can compare with you.

I can't resist the urge

to kiss your soft cheek.

Your face is silky smooth,

like a delicious egg tart.

You have such silky soft skin.

Nothing can compare with you.

I can't resist the urge

to kiss your soft cheek.

Your face is silky smooth,

like a delicious egg tart.

Bravo...

But maybe you should

limit your singing to the shower.

Your singing is really awful.

It will only lower people's opinion of you.

But don't worry...

I'll still recommend you

as the lead for "Buddha's Palm."

We need gimmicks for that show.

There must be awesome wire stunts,

and dazzling kungfu.

What? Me as the leading actor?

Freaking hell!

This movie is going to

make me a bloody ton of money!

Oh my, is that how you usually talk?

Well, you talk pretty funny yourself.

Like you have something

stuck in your mouth.

—You said you have a good idea?

—Yeah.

"Buddha's Palm" is going to make

Tat-wah the next big thing.

And this is what we'll be needing.

Are you sure?

Jurassic Park.

Why is the ground trembling?

I hear something over there.

I'll go and check it out. You be careful.

Where are you, Wah?

A dinosaur?

Help!

Help me, Senior Fei!

Eighth stance of Buddha's Palm!

Zen and Buddha!

It didn't work?

Ninth stance of Buddha's Palm!

Ten Thousand Buddhas!

Sister Chow, you're the one

who suggested I make Tat-wah lead.

You have great foresight.

You flatter me, Boss.

We're already planning

more episodes of "Buddha's Palm."

I think this show is good for ten seasons.

—Ten? Really?

—Of course.

And you'll get a twenty percent pay rise.

Are you kidding? Look at

how popular I am right now.

You should raise my pay by

at least twenty times.

Look at him, he's a star now.

The movie industry is amazing.

He's the hottest star right now,

just look at how everyone adores him.

All thanks to your great idea.

We want to be somebody too.

When will you help us get famous?

Yeah, when?

I promise, the two of you will be famous.

You just have to bide your time.

I'm sick of hearing you say that.

Look, we're still dirt-poor.

Oh, the... audacity!

What kind of a movie is that?

Boss.

That ludicrous film...

has absolutely no... depth.

And it is... utterly meaningless.

It is... a bad influence on our audience.

Oh, shut up!

I'm having a party at my place this Saturday

to celebrate the success of this movie.

Thanks! I guess he won't be

attending the party.

Just look at how grand Boss's mansion is.

It'll be mine one day.

I saw Boss's car on my way in.

It's huge, shiny and oh-so-sleek!

It'll be mine one day.

—Everyone, this is my wife.

—She'll be mine one day.

What did you say?

Sorry Boss, I was just kidding around.

Hey, you'd better keep your word.

Why is this place so out of the way?

We've been walking for hours.

Yeah, I can barely catch my breath.

And I need to pee.

—This is the voice.

—What?

This nasal way you're speaking right now.

This voice will make you famous.

Are you kidding?

I talk like this whenever I need to pee.

Shut up and go take a leak.

I hate it

when you talk in that nasal voice.

Where's the toilet?

—Tse Yuen and Wong Jing-wai.

—Hi, Boss.

—Lee Kei.

—Hi, Boss.

Get us some wine.

Is the toilet upstairs?

Why don't I take a picture of everyone?

Sure...

We'll all empty our glasses.

One, two, three... drink up.

Sorry, can I take another shot?

The flash didn't go off.

—Sure.

—You downed your drink already?

—Here...

—This one.

Ready? Drink up.

—Are you okay, Boss?

—Sorry, I sneezed.

—You downed that already?

—Yes, I did.

One more.

—Enjoy yourselves.

—We will.

Nature is calling... really loudly.

—Go to the toilet.

—Excuse me.

Excuse me, do you know where the toilet is?

Go that way, turn left,

then right, then go upstairs.

It's the seventh door on the left.

No... wait. I think it's the third door.

No, wait.

The toilet's downstairs.

You need to walk past the pool...

Do I need to take a taxi there?

Fong-fong!

Hi, Auntie.

Mom, you're missing a player

for mahjong, aren't you?

Why don't you get Yuen to join the game?

Does he even know how to play mahjong?

Of course, he's the King of Gamblers.

I always lose at the mahjong tables.

What are you talking about?

Really? I didn't know that.

I thought you only fritter money away

on girls way too young for you.

What?

In the future, you'll name your son

Nickel-less Tse.

No way, I'll never give my son

such a horrible name.

So are you joining us for mahjong?

May I know where the toilet is?

Thank you.

Shoot, it's occupied. Please be quick.

Thank you so much!

I really need to go. Let me cut the queue.

Please let me go in first.

My bladder is about to burst.

I need to do my number two.

Go find another toilet.

—There's one over the hill.

—But I'll have to take a taxi!

This is all your fault.

I haven't won a single round.

I didn't mean it.

I haven't won any rounds myself.

You didn't mean it?

Fong-fong, be wary of this man.

He is no good for you.

Discard your Three-Circle.

She needs it to win this game.

Hurry up.

—8-Character.

—You're so slow.

Wait, Eight-Character? I'll take it.

Seven-Character.

Wait, Seven-Character? I'll take it.

Hey, it's your turn.

Why are you huddling over your tiles?

Take your hands away.

Where are your tiles?

—I just have less tiles.

—You don't have any.

The dance competition is about to start.

—Forget about mahjong, let's go!

—All right...

Isn't there a toilet anywhere

around? I'm dying here.

—Hey, Kei.

—Po-chu. Hi, Auntie.

What's wrong with you?

Nature calls. I need to use the washroom.

What a coincidence.

I need to use the washroom too.

But it's okay, you can go first.

I'm just an old fogey.

No one cares if I end up with cystitis.

That's not true!

You can have the washroom.

Mom, go on.

A voice as detestable as the owner.

The dance competition is about to start.

—Really?

—Kei, let's go.

What?

You expect me to dance in this state?

Kei.

—Look at them.

—What?

See how good Kwan Mak-kei

and his partner is.

Yes, he's definitely going to win.

So can I go to the toilet now?

—No, Kei.

—What?

This is our best chance

at catching the boss's eye.

Next up, let us welcome

Ching Po-chu and Lee Kei.

Oh God.

I've been running around

the whole day trying to find a toilet.

I shall now announce the results

of this dance competition.

In the second place, we have...

Kwan Mak-kei and Mary!

What? That can't be!

The winners of this dance competition

are Lee Kei and Ching Po-chu.

—You danced wonderfully.

—Thank you.

—And you're very good too.

—Really?

I'll hold on to this trophy for now.

Lee Kei is one good-looking chap.

And talented too.

You're right. He has lots of potential.

Yuen has potential too.

That's right, Tse Yuen is

quite charming too.

Why don't you give them an audition?

Sure, let's make it tomorrow.

What a relief.

Kei.

I'm sorry.

Thank goodness these things don't faze me.

Unlike Wong Sing who loves this stuff

in his crappy movies.

I wasn't expecting such a cascade.

Wait, your voice is back to normal.

Yeah, because I've already

emptied my bladder.

You and Yuen have an audition

with the boss tomorrow.

Really?

Tat-wah says we should go

to Ji-gong Temple.

And thank the gods for their blessing.

Oh yes, we should do that. Let's go...

—About your voice...

—What about my voice?

Can you not pee for the next two days?

What do you think?

Ji-gong Temple

All right, I got a lucky lot!

There is hope in my life after all.

Yours say your talent

will finally be appreciated.

Mine's pretty good too.

Mine says "The top player

takes the fairest lady."

What's so good about it?

It says you're a player.

Check my divination lot out.

"Wedding candles are burning bright."

Which means Sau-chow is going to marry me.

I don't know about their lots.

But I'm not so sure about yours.

We all got our lots here.

Why aren't you sure about his lot?

Speak the way you spoke this morning.

If you speak with your normal

voice, you'll never be famous.

But I don't have the urge to pee now.

—I...

—Ignore him.

—Ji-gong's lots always come true.

—Totally.

Brother Mak-kei, is it them?

Yes, they embarrassed me

during today's dance competition.

Go and show them "a good time,"

why don't you?

Let's go.

Wow... I didn't know fans

are so wild back in the sixties.

What the heck are you guys doing?

You told us to show them a good time.

I meant, with your fists!

Wait! Stop!

You don't want to mess with me.

I'll mop the floor with you guys!

Bring it on!

Help...

I'm scared... help me.

That'll teach you!

It hurts...

Please let me off.

Please?

I'll cripple your right hand!

And your left hand too.

All right, that's enough.

Both my arms are crippled.

—Please don't hit me anymore.

—Take this!

The Mighty Twist!

—Tat-wah... help!

—Don't be afraid.

I'll come to your rescue

after I've fixed these rascals.

What? Wedding candles?

Is this what my divination lot means?

—You're despicable, Kwan Mak-kei!

—How did you know it's me?

Your handkerchief has

your name embroidered on it.

Hey, don't you feel the pain?

They didn't stub the candles out

on me. They did it on you.

Beat him up like a dog!

Jing-wai, how are they?

Don't worry. The doctor said

the after-effects are temporary.

So how is Kei?

Well, it could have been worse.

Why do I hear a dog barking?

Help...

Po-chu, help!

Tat-wah, what are you doing?

The doctor said he is suffering from...

Canidae Down's Syndrome.

In layman's terms,

it's non-contagious rabies.

Hey.

—Hello.

—Oh my, Yuen. How are you feeling?

I'm fine, don't worry.

It's just that my spine is all twisted.

Both my arms are dislocated.

All five fingers on

my right hand are broken.

My neck has taken over 600 wallops.

And I've been punched in the face

for about sixty times.

Other than that, I'm perfectly fine.

I'm a tough guy. I'm still standing.

Sit. You sit.

But there's just one thing

that is slightly more worrying.

They got me in my

laughing acupuncture point.

I burst into uncontrollable laughter

from time to time.

Kei, come on. Get off the table.

—Be careful.

—Sit.

Watch your step, Kei.

—I'm so scared...

—It's okay, don't be scared.

Don't bite. Be a good boy, okay?

I'll hack you to pieces

if you bite me again! You hear me?

Kei...

what happened to your voice?

It's okay. The doctor said because

of the trauma I've been through...

my voice has been affected.

I tend to get very emotional too.

Look into my eyes.

Do I look very melancholic?

Yes.

I can't believe this!

I can't believe this either.

Look at the state they are in now.

How are they going to go for

tomorrow's audition?

Don't worry.

I'm sure this will turn out

to be their lucky break.

Why?

This is what will propel them to stardom.

Are you serious? Acting this way

will make them famous?

That's right. Just do as I say tomorrow.

I promise you'll make it big.

Never mind, I'll just wash my pants.

Audition for "Nanny At Eighteen."

Scene one, take one.

Camera.

Hey, Po-chu.

Po-chu, don't go.

It took me a lot of effort

to finally find you.

Please think of the baby,

even if you don't care about me.

You've misunderstood. This baby isn't mine.

I'm only his nanny.

You're his nanny? Oh, god!

I've been an honest man all my life.

How could this happen to me?

My wife is a nanny!

Is this guy crazy?

Actually, this is the offspring

of a Japanese soldier.

I'm going to raise him...

to hate the Japanese.

Our motherland...

will have one more fighter.

Yes, you're doing the right thing.

What happened is all my fault.

No, it's not.

Then it must be society's fault!

Cut! That's enough.

There's no way in hell you can ever

be the lead with a voice like that.

No, I think he has

a certain flair about him.

Well, I guess you're right.

But he's a bit effeminate, isn't he?

I've always known he's a sissy.

But women nowadays like

their men to be a bit effeminate.

You're right.

He's effeminate but sort of cute.

It's too bad his voice is

a bit too high-pitched.

See? I told you your voice is horrible!

But that sort of voice

is what lends character to him.

Hey, Boss.

Can you just make up your mind?

It's hard work trying to please you.

Give me a second to think it over. Next.

The Black Rose versus The Black Sheep.

Scene seventeen. Take one.

Do you guys really think

you can take me down?

You're dead meat!

No one can stop me!

Hey...

—What's wrong?

—I can't hold a gun.

What should I do?

Whatever. Just hurry up.

Hold on... stop laughing.

It's a black and white film.

No one would be able to tell.

Freeze.

Who are you?

Me?

I'm the man who has dozens

of girls swooning at my feet.

I'm the bastion of our society's morality.

I am the hope of the movie industry.

I'm the charming and debonair Black Sheep.

Rubbish.

You abet evil and exploit the innocent.

I swear I'll end your menace

to society today!

Let me guess. You're out of bullets.

My gun is still fully loaded.

What other tricks do you have

up your sleeve? Come on.

I have flying daggers!

He's so suave!

That's no more than a child's trick.

You can have it back!

You're under arrest.

You'll be punished

by the law for your crimes.

Don't move. This gun might

just go off accidentally.

Now... let me see the face behind the mask.

It's you.

Well, that's kind of expected, isn't it?

That's right.

It was me all along, Brother Yuen.

You never knew the woman

you've been living with...

is actually the Black Rose.

Rose...

Please don't die.

I cannot live without you!

Oh, heavens!

Why is life so unfair to me?

Cast of "Nanny At Eighteen" and

"Black Rose" shoots to fame.

Full House

Lee Kei and Po-chu's "Nanny At Eighteen..."

as well as Tse Yuen and Fong-fong's

"The Black Rose versus The Black Sheep...

have become box office hits.

I'm sure you must be thrilled.

Of course.

These two onscreen couples

will have my biggest support.

Especially Po-chu and Lee Kei.

I'll be investing in their next movie,

"Young, Pregnant and Unmarried."

Tse Yuen will be making a guest appearance.

Ko Lo-chuen will be in this film too.

What a star-studded cast.

How long will the filming take?

Seven days.

Wow, it's really a huge production then.

Tat-wah, we heard that you

and Sau-chow are dating.

—Is that true?

—No, that's just a rumour.

We are just very good friends.

We practise kungfu together

when we are free.

And sometimes we play

mahjong together, that's all.

But Sister Chow...

someone saw Tat-wah walking out

from your apartment at six in the morning.

—No, that can't be.

—No way.

We're platonic friends. We don't

even kiss each other goodbye.

—Uncle Tin-lam.

Is this your son?

—His name is Wong Sing, say hello.

—Hello, Uncle.

—Auntie.

—He needs his eyes checked.

I'm too young to be called an auntie.

—Do it again.

—Sister.

What a smart kid!

He looks irksome even as a kid.

Tat-wah.

You're here. Let me introduce you

to a great director, Wong Tin-lam.

This is his son, Wong Sing.

—Hello.

—Sing, say hello.

—Hello, Uncle.

—Good boy.

Sing, you're really cute.

I have to take a dump.

Please take care of my kid for a while.

Sure, leave him to me.

Let me take you to some place really fun.

Okay.

Tat-wah, you have been asking for

more and more salary.

There's only so much I can pay you.

Lee Kei and Tse Yuen are also

asking for a pay rise.

Well, you're definitely

making more money than us.

Why don't you sell us your studio

and your contracts?

Good idea!

But you'll be my boss then.

You don't like that?

In that case, I'll ask Kei and Yuen

to leave your studio with me.

All right... let me think about it.

Great. I can be the boss then. Clever boy.

Boss, do you know there's actually a man...

who is behind Tat-wah, Kei

and Yuen's success?

—Who is that?

—It's Wong Jing-wai.

Jing-wai is awesome.

He has great foresight.

He's the one who came up with the ideas

for "Buddha's Palm" and "Black Rose."

That's right, he has this thing

called VCDs which are really cool.

Yes, why don't you make him

a director, Boss?

—May we take a picture?

—Pictures? Sure...

Thank you.

Jing-wai, our boss wants to

make you a director.

Come with me.

Don't think he is blind just

because he's wearing sunglasses.

It's his fashion sense.

Hi.

What movie ideas do you have?

Director Wong Jing-wai

Days of Being Wild

You're different today.

How am I different?

Your ears are red.

Look at my watch.

It's not a Rolex, I'm not interested.

This is the year 1967.

The fifteenth of August.

The time now is 3:37 pm.

This moment belongs to us.

Hey, mister. If you want my time,

you need to pay upfront.

Pay? Who do you take me for?

You're vulgar.

Wong Fei-hung: Happy Together

Master Wong.

—I was wrong.

—Have you...

finally repented?

Actually...

I... really...

love you.

I love you too.

We've been filming this movie

for a really long time.

Do you all have any idea

what's going on here?

I've already been filming this

for over twenty days.

But I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm really confused.

Director, thank you for your hard work.

I'm leaving now. Bye.

I admire your talent greatly.

If you're free at night...

maybe we can meet up for coffee?

Director.

Let's catch a movie together

when you're free.

I admire your talent a lot.

I'd love to learn from you.

This is my number.

Call me when you're free. Bye.

Director.

I wrote three scripts I want to show you.

I can't possibly eat this too.

Shoot, are they all

falling in love with me?

They are my buddies' girlfriends...

but man, they are hot.

Wong Jing-wai...

how could you even think that?

You're a despicable cad.

Oh no, Po-chu's half an hour late.

If Fong-fong comes early...

they'll run into each other

and I'm dead meat.

Jing-wai.

—Sorry for keeping you waiting.

—Don't worry. Have a seat.

Jing-wai, I know I shouldn't have

asked you out at such short notice.

But I haven't been able to sleep all week.

All I could think of was you.

—I...

—Kei has been very good to you.

Why don't you get it?

You make me so mad.

It's better that I don't get it.

Actually... I...

I've already fallen for you.

Jing-wai.

Don't get so excited.

I'm not as perfect as I appear to be.

I'm merely virtuous, pretty,

clever and a good cook.

That's all.

Po-chu.

I'm not the right man for you.

That's not true.

You make such artistic films.

And you know so much about the future.

I think you're really awesome.

Oh, no!

—Look at my watch.

—It's a Seiko.

It's a tourbillon watch.

It's August fifteenth, 1967 today.

And the time now is forty-seven minutes

and thirty-two seconds past three.

Remember, this second will always be ours.

—That's so romantic!

—Let's go.

Jing-wai, I'll drop by your place tomorrow.

Jing-wai, what have you just done?

You lecherous cad!

You call yourself a man?

You're a lowdown worm!

Jing-wai, do you have feelings for me?

Fong-fong, I'm not the right guy for you.

I know that.

Then why are you here?

We can always break up...

when our feelings for each other fade.

So you're the sort who'd rather

have loved and lost...

than never have loved at all.

Your words are poetry to my ears.

Knock it off. It's just a tacky cliche.

It's the kind of nonsense

I hold in contempt.

Whatever you may say, I feel

really classy when I am with you.

I'm sorry, I'm one huge cheapskate.

I watch pirated VCDs.

I just have one question for you.

Do you want to...

be with me?

Do you?

Well, a little.

But my mom would never agree

to us being together.

Go along with her wishes then!

I know what to do.

I have to go now.

I'll drop by your place tomorrow.

How did you get these photos?

What are you laughing at? What's so funny?

Are you high or something?

What? No way!

—Director.

—Hey, Brother Jing-wai.

Thank you so much for agreeing to

guest star in this film.

Don't mention it.

For the scene we're filming today...

you'll be playing Po-chu's

sister's boyfriend.

You've knocked up the sister.

Po-chu lied to her father and

pretended to be the one who's pregnant.

Lee Kei thought you really got

Po-chu pregnant.

—So he and Yuen are after you.

—Yes, I know.

I've watched "Young, Pregnant

and Unmarried" before.

What? But I'm not even done filming it.

Kei, Yuen. Here are your knives.

Are you crazy? One look

and you can tell these are props!

Do you know why you're stuck doing props?

Because you haven't been doing your best!

You need to be more conscientious.

Get us some real knives, it will

make this movie a lot better.

—He's right. Go...

—Go...

"Young, Pregnant and Unmarried"

Scene four, take one.

Who is the baby's father?

It's me. We fooled around...

and she got pregnant.

You fooled around

with my daughter? I knew it!

I knew you were a lecherous cad!

You dated my elder daughter...

as a smokescreen to dally with

my younger daughter!

—Shame on you! What?

—Uncle.

I don't know what you're talking about.

—But we do.

—Listen to me...

—I don't want to hear your excuses.

You've betrayed us.

You treacherous ABCDEF.

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-Sol! You knocked Po-chu up!

Don't waste your breath on him.

Let's teach him a lesson.

You're right. Let's do it.

After him...

This movie will be a hit.

There's hope for

Hong Kong's movie industry!

Director...

Get our studio into your frame as well.

It will show the repression and

helplessness of our postmodern society.

The greyness of urban life.

What are you talking about, director?

I have no idea what I mean either.

Relax, Jing-wai. It's just me.

Why are you standing there in the dark?

You really startled me.

I've left home. And I'm not going back.

Oh well, you're old enough

to do what you want.

Maybe you can try living with Yuen.

I didn't leave home to be with him.

You're the only one in my heart.

Jing-wai...

I prefer talented men, like you.

I love you.

Jing-wai, my mom is

forcing me to marry Sek.

I don't want to marry him.

So I've run away from home.

You won't marry Sek.

You'll be married to Crap.

No, I refuse! I want to marry you.

Ka-yin, you're too young for Jing-wai.

He's not right for you.

What? Are you implying

he's right for you then?

Of course. At least I can speak English.

I'm going to the States with him.

He'll make movies over there

while I attend college.

Jing-wai, you liar...!

You said you liked me.

And now you're wooing Fong-fong.

You're too much!

Yeah...

—Why are you hitting him?

—That's none of your business.

Fine, I won't waste my breath on you.

I'll get Po-chu to talk to you instead.

Fine, go ahead.

Oh, Po-chu! Great timing.

I'm so glad to see you.

Come in. Everyone's been so unfair to me!

Why is there so much luggage here?

Are the two of you planning

to go travelling together?

Please don't tell me you've also...

—Have you?

—Yes, I have.

For the past twenty years...

I have never once decided

anything for myself.

For the sake of my life-long happiness...

I must stand up for myself this once.

You're right, Kei is a good man.

But I realized what I really need...

is someone who is knowledgeable

and able to teach me things.

And that...

is no one but you.

—What?

—You've been dating her too?

You... her... and me?

Oh, god.

—I get it.

—I get it too.

Who do you choose?

I don't love any of you.

What? I'll kill myself then...

Wait! I was just kidding.

I love every one of you.

I heard that!

Not again?

You're not getting away this time!

I trusted you. And you betrayed me.

You dated Kai-yin and Fong-fong.

And now you're after Po-chu too.

You call yourself a man?

You have no shame.

—I'm going to kill you...

—I heard you even dated Fat-fat.

—Didn't you, Jing-wai?

—That's not true.

Jing-wai, my honey.

—I admire your talent a lot.

—Help me.

—Farewell, Best Director Award!

—Kill him...

—No! Run, Jing-wai.

—Don't worry about us.

Hey, what's going on here?

—Look.

—What is this? World War III?

He did such a terrible thing.

He deserves to die!

—Step aside.

—Don't side with him...

just because you're his movie producer.

—How dare you date Fong-fong?

—Calm down. Put down your knives.

Get down...

—Go!

—Get out of here...

—Come back here!

—Kei...

if you want to kill him,

you'll have to kill me first.

I can't believe

you're still speaking up for him.

Kei, you stay and talk it out.

I'll get him...

If you want to kill him,

you'll have to kill me first.

What did you say?

I can't believe you're

foolish enough to fall for him.

Darn you to hell.

I'm through with being friends

with the two of you!

I'm going back home to Mommy!

Are you leaving already?

Ka-yin...

God, I'm asking for your advice.

What should I do now?

What do you want to do?

I want to go back to the future.

I don't want to stay here anymore.

Most people are troubled

because they can't get a girl.

You're troubled because

you're too popular with girls?

You're the only friend I have left.

Let's go and have some fun tonight.

Everything will be better

when you wake up tomorrow.

Have some fun? Where?

The casino, of course.

Blackjack, again.

You got twenty-one points too?

Who runs this place?

This is really easy pickings.

House has seventeen points.

Give me the money.

Place a bigger wager if you dare, big shot.

I didn't bring much with me today.

Fine, I'll wager all I have.

One more.

Can you believe I got a nine? Blackjack.

You know what?

Gambling is easier money

than shooting movies.

We'll see.

Quit while you're ahead. You have

your own studio and cinemas.

You don't need this kind of money.

You can never be too rich.

Here, take this and enjoy yourself tonight.

Come tomorrow morning,

you'll feel a lot better. Trust me.

—Have fun tonight.

—Have fun?

—Of course.

—Everything will be fine.

See you.

Hey, Brother Tat-wah.

—You're on a lucky streak.

—I sure am.

They are playing for pennies here.

We have a table over there

playing for high stakes.

—Really?

—Yes.

I'm done playing with you. Let's go.

Right now...

what else can we do but drown

our sorrows with Martell cognac?

Fong-fong, that's enough.

It's not good to drink so much.

Leave me alone. I want to drink.

I want to get drunk.

I'm happy when I'm drunk.

Let's drink together. And get drunk.

I'll drink too!

Fine! To heck with being sensible.

Tat-wah, what's wrong?

Why are you sobbing like a baby?

Don't you cry when you're upset?

I lost a fortune.

That bad?

I told you.

You own a studio and several cinemas.

Why would you gamble?

I don't have my studio and cinemas anymore.

Are you serious?

You lost your studio and cinemas too?

Sau-chow is going to kill me.

This is all my fault.

Yes, you're right.

Why didn't I think of that?

This is all your fault.

Why do I detect a murderous

gleam in your eyes?

This is all your fault! I'll throttle you!

Please tell me I'm dreaming.

Yes, you are.

Just close your eyes slowly...

and I'll disappear.

You're an animal!

—You've taken my innocence!

—Don't say that.

It might have been the other way round.

I'm a girl. I don't know anything.

Tell me!

What are you going to do about me?

Please behave yourself.

Look.

Why don't we go and find Kei?

Good morning.

No way!

You've taken my innocence!

How dare you. That's my line!

Wait... what if you get pregnant?

Help.

I can't believe I lost my first time...

to a sissy boy like you!

I don't believe it!

Hey, that's enough from you!

I may act effeminate onscreen

but I'm all man in real life!

—Kei.

—Po-chu.

Don't come in just yet.

I don't have my pants on...

Kei.

I... AB'd Po-chu's D.

Well, I XY'd Fong-fong's Z.

—Let's call it even.

—Fine.

—You animal!

I've lost my virginity.

I wonder who took my virginity?

Who are you?

I'm Lo-kei. I'm the delivery guy.

You dragged me in here last night.

I love your movies.

—Really?

—Really.

I'll get out of your way now.

I have to get to work.

You don't have to work. I'll feed you.

It's such a blessing to be talented.

Fong-fong off to pursue

a degree in the States.

Tat-wah and Sau-chow,

partners and lovers no more.

Po-chu quits showbiz to marry Mr Yeung.

Ka-yin marries Sek.

Aches of Time

I'm back from the toilet and

they're still walking around aimlessly?

If I ever meet this director

on the streets, I'll hack him to pieces.

Yes, you should.

Darn this director to hell.

What kind of crap is this?

Darn his whole family to hell too.

The movie ticket was only a few bucks.

Must you be so harsh?

I gave you millions of dollars

to make this film.

Don't you think I'm justified?

—Yes, you are.

—Sit down.

I have a question.

Do you know what you are filming?

Boss, actually...

Get lost before I lose it and kill you!

Get lost!

Bravo...

Sixties, I admit defeat.

It is tough to make movies in the sixties.

I put in my best,

producing those three movies.

But no one appreciates them.

No one!

Bravo.

I can't go back to the nineties.

Do you want me dead?

Shall I just throw myself into the sea?

Oh, Heavens!

I've been an honest man all my life.

How did I end up like this?

Now I've become despicable,

shameless, nasty, and cheap.

I am all of those things.

Fong-fong said I've taken her innocence.

Po-chu calls me heartless.

No one watches my movies anymore.

I will have to end my wretched life...

or be forever called a lecher!

You're right.

Just admit to being a lecher

and you won't have to die.

It's you! I'll throttle you!

I'll kill you!

If it weren't for you, I wouldn't

be in this wretched state.

But the era of...

The era of old Cantonese movies...

will only end when Fong-fong

and Po-chu leave the movie industry.

That's how it's supposed to happen.

It is your fate to become

the biggest lecher in Hong Kong.

You are destined to make AV movies.

You're the Father of AV.

The Godfather of X-rated movies.

What else do you want?

No way!

I'd rather die than make X-rated movies.

—Don't stop me.

—No, please don't.

—Don't stop me...

—No, don't do this...

Are they planning to commit suicide too?

—Don't stop me.

—No, don't do this.

It's Kei and Jing-wai.

Fancy running into you guys.

Here to kill yourselves?

Yes. How about you two?

Same here.

But I'll throttle you first.

I'll throttle you!

—I'll throttle you...

Die...

Why do people in the sixties like

throttling each other so much?

Stop!

Listen to what he has to say.

All good things must come to an end.

Mr Lee and Mr Tse...

the two of you will eventually part ways.

Yuen, you'll eventually marry

a Taiwanese called Zhen...

before divorcing her and

remarrying someone called Deborah.

You will have a son and a daughter.

You named your son Nickel-less,

and your daughter Ting.

You'll take the same family photo...

in the same outfit every year

for the magazines.

What? Every year?

—Until 1997.

—That's a relief then.

As for Kei,

I've already told you your fate.

You will meet lots of women

and make lots of X-rated movies.

You will each have your own life.

There's no need to fight.

How about me?

Forget about those kungfu flicks, Tat-wah.

You'll play a detective.

You'll be playing that role

until you're seventy.

The only drawback is that...

you'll always be in the same

detective trench coat.

—What about Sau-Chow?

—Forget about her.

She will marry another man.

What?

Do I have to date Lanna Wang instead?

But she's dating Uncle Kao.

I still don't believe it.

I don't know how to make AV.

I've never even watched one.

I left my VCD player and lots

of VCDs at your place.

Check out the movies

"The Fruit is Swelling..."

as well as "Sex and Zen" part one and two.

Study it diligently.

Then you will know what to do.

You will become the best AV director ever.

I get it. Thank you.

All right.

My job is done.

I can die with no worries now.

—Let me give you a hand.

Come on, Tat-wah.

Hey! Help...

Hey! What are you guys doing?

—Help, Uncle Tin-lam!

—Put him down!

Help! Call the police! Murder...

Call the police! Help...

Mr Wong, are you okay?

—I'm fine.

—Oh, thank goodness.

I need to use the loo.

Could you please keep an eye on him for me?

What are you staring at?

Still mad that I dunked you in the toilet?

—No.

—But your eyes tell me otherwise.

It's just that

I have something to tell you.

What do you want to tell me?

You want to AB my C?

Or DE my FG maybe?

I've watched the three movies you made.

I see, you're out to

sprinkle salt on my wounds.

No, I really like them.

You mean you understood my films?

I think they are very innovative

and meaningful.

You...

You're the only one

who appreciates my work.

Of all people, you.

I want to be a director when I grow up.

Can you be my mentor?

You don't need me as your mentor.

You'll become a director one day.

I want to make movies just like yours.

No, don't do that.

Make movies about gamblers

and girls in bikinis.

Remember to add in lots of jokes

about bodily functions.

People love that stuff.

—No, I don't like that stuff.

—Don't be silly.

I need your vulgar movies to make

my movies look classy.

Anyway...

just spend more time

in the toilet, sitting on the WC.

You will come to understand the

humour in various bodily functions.

And you'll be even more

successful than John Woo.

I get it. Daddy, I want

to be a director when I grow up.

Finally, someone appreciates your work.

Yes. But I never thought it would be him.

Life can be really ironic sometimes.

You can go back to the nineties now.

But remember...

Cantonese movies

of the sixties are not bad.

Always walk a mile in a man's

shoes before you judge him.

Help...

What's wrong? Why are you screaming?

Did you doze off in the bathtub?

Where's Tse Yuen and Lee Kei?

What? The Golden Cow Awards

press conference is tomorrow.

You'll see them tomorrow.

—Tomorrow?

—Yes.

It's 1997 now?

Have you gone crazy?

I just got back from France yesterday?

And tomorrow I'll be at the press

conference of Golden Cow Awards.

To pay tribute to

the Cantonese movies of the sixties.

Yes, silly.

I'm back!

A tribute to sixties' Cantonese films

Press conference of

the Sixteenth Golden Cow Awards

Hey lad, are you part of the staff?

This pair of sunglasses looks familiar.

Everybody.

Ladies and gentlemen...

I'd like to introduce the ultimate

idol of sixties' Cantonese movies.

The superman of our movie industry.

Mr Ngau Tat-wah!

That's not all. Mr Ngau's buddies have

graced this event with their presence too.

Let us welcome the evergreen actor

of our showbiz...

the debonair Mr Tse Yuen.

Nickel-less will be making his debut soon.

It's all set then.

Let's go for a spin in my car

after the press conference.

—Sure.

—See you later.

Hey, I'm impressed.

You're looking very good

for a man that's almost seventy.

I have been exercising.

You're looking pretty good too.

Are you filming me?

Hi, grandson.

Grandpa's here.

Tat-wah... look at him.

Doesn't he look like the guy...

Kei and I wanted to throw into

the sea thirty years ago?

—That guy is...

—Oh, you're right.

—That guy is...

—But this guy is much taller.

—That guy was my father.

—Your father?

I can't believe this.

Your dad wasn't this tall.

Hey, everybody.

The theme of this year's ceremony...

is to pay tribute to

Cantonese movies of the sixties.

So we have invited Ka-yin...

affectionately known as Auntie Ho

to be our emcee for today.

Tat-wah, Yuen... it's been a while.

Wow. Just look at you, Ka-yin.

Still looking hot after all these years.

That's one good-looking fish

that slipped out of my net.

We'll save the reminiscing for later.

Now, I'll like to invite two of my

good friends out on stage.

We haven't seen each other

for quite a while.

Let us welcome Po-chu

and Fong-fong on stage!

—Po-chu.

—Yuen.

—Hi, Tat-wah.

—Hello, Po-chu.

How is Sau-chow doing?

She send her regards from the States.

By the way, Tat-wah...

have you heard from Kei lately?

What would you like to know about me?

Kei?

Kei, please look this way. Thank you.

—Kei.

—Po-chu.

Why didn't you return to the screens?

No. There's no way

I'd do as well as Fong-fong.

Oh, yes. I've watched your movies.

You did? Which one?

Those X-rated ones.

The hairless and topless one...

Oh, you mean...

"Shameless and Topless?" Did you like it?

Erm... yes. Yes, I did.

Those moves and positions looked

pretty difficult though.

I'll teach you later.

I'm sure you can do it.

Sure...

Don't cry.

Brother. Your advice for me was spot-on.

Where's your dad, fatso?

He's in the toilet.

Dude.

—You're a jerk.

They are the real stars.

No one can compare.

If they had been actors of the nineties...

what kind of films

do you think they'd be in?

Police Story

Freeze! Police!

He's still a Woman, She's still a Man

You are so pretty.

You're such a flirt.

You with your honeyed words.

Zip me up.

Can I...

just have a feel of these?

Since I was little, I've been wanting

to know what it feels like...

to have such a big rack.

No, you can't.

Are you gay?

So you've never been with a real woman?

Didn't you say you would like to have

a feel of these?

It feels quite good.

Old But Still Dangerous

Handsome Kwan, you scum.

You killed my brother, Bee.

I will avenge his death tonight.

Ho Lam...

you broke our code of honour by sleeping

with your best friend's girl.

How dare you show your face

on these streets?

Y-y-y-you scumbag.

Beat him up.

Whatever, I'll leave first.

Do you think you can escape?

—You're not going anywhere.

—Freeze!

Hey, Four-eyes.

Don't you know I'm the protagonist?

I'm not supposed to die.

Oh, you're in trouble.

You changed the plot ending?

Those Were the Days (1997) - full transcript