Thor the Conqueror (1983) - full transcript
In the vein of CONAN THE BARBARIAN and Lucio Fulci's CONQUEST comes a tale of mythology and magic, of how THOR, a legendary god, triumphs over overwhelming odds to great victory and the destruction of his foes. After both his parents are brutally murdered by his father's rival Gnut and his men the new born Thor is placed in hiding by the physical embodiment of the god Teisha. Raised in secret under the guidance of Teisha, Thor comes to maturity and goes on a quest to avenge the death of his parents and return peace to his lands, in the process he discovers a woman to take as his wife. Taking the beautiful warrior virgin, Ina, as his companion, his exploits lead to a confrontation with Gnut, the slayer of his father. He finds and uncovers his father's sword and masters the art of combat, all under the ever watchful eye of the amorphous Teisha. How can Thor overcome Gnut and his horde? Watch the story of Thor, The Conqueror, to this day recalled in legend and in rock drawings!
It was written in the stars
and in the dust of the dead, that from
the seed of Gant the
annihilator would come
the greatest of all
chieftain's, Thor the conqueror,
the favorite of the God Taesha.
This is the place of the
sacred stone of Taesha,
where are born the sons
of chiefs, and where
shall be brought forth Thor
son of Gant the annihilator.
I, Etna, with the fire of
the spirit of the dead,
purify the symbol of life.
- Taesha!
Thus did I save the infant Thor from Gnut
the faithful archer and this was a source
of great annoyance for Anuta, the ancient
witch who collects the eyes of the dead.
Many moons times 10 have passed.
The earth has changed.
The giants of the long-nose
no longer prowl their jungle.
Often and often the sun
makes thicken the land
and the earth becomes the cosmic mother.
And here is Thor, he who is destined
to be the greatest chief of all.
I have raised him as
if he were my own son.
I taught Thor combat and to
follow the path of right.
And to be cunning.
The only thing I have not
taught him is my magic.
It is all I have left to keep his respect.
At least a little.
By now he is too big and strong for me.
Oh.
Etna is old.
Aye, it is fish heads, take no offense.
I must face it, it is my time to depart.
Time to die.
They will eat their flesh,
and drink their warm blood.
- What's that?
- A female.
- Female?
What's a female?
- No!
Come.
No, Thor, she's
not something to eat.
Make her lie down and play with her.
What else is she good for?
The female is stupid.
Have your way with her.
Take her, she's yours.
Don't treat the woman so gently.
The female has to obey her master.
It is proven.
She must fulfill you and bear the fruit
that is called children.
This mare thinks you're perfect for her.
Just like Eve holding the apple.
And now, Thor, you've known a woman
and killed a man.
Your reign is about to start, and mine
has almost come full circle.
Tomorrow is the holy
day of Taesha, our God.
You've got to go, Thor.
- No, Thor stay right here.
Thor has food and now Thor has female.
- Taesha!
Taesha has commanded you.
He speaks to you through me.
You have to go, Thor,
and unearth the blade
of your father and the seed of gold.
The fruit that springs
from the earth again
after the snow.
I shall watch over you,
in the name of Taesha,
the god to whom you owe your life.
- Thor goes, Taesha.
Mother death is also life.
I'm too old and tired
to go with you, Thor.
But my spirit will be in the wind.
Taesha!
The warriors virgins?
They are here.
This is their territory.
- Thor should battle the queen?
If you can get
by her hand maidens.
Yes, you must fight the queen.
It is mine, female.
In a world of a man, you will live.
Thor, you'll remember that.
All this land belongs to its conqueror.
To Thor, your king.
By the sacred order of Taesha and you will
bear the fruit called children.
You, wait here.
May the trees bear fruit,
may the fat animals return.
Oh, protector of the seed of
gold, accept our sacrifice.
May the flame and the
blood purify the earth
and render it fertile.
- Taesha, my savior as an infant,
I failed in my sacred mission.
Forgive me, Taesha.
What are you waiting for?
Aren't you going to kill me?
- The golden seed of life.
It's the magic of the earth.
No.
Don't touch it.
Only the spirits can.
- No, the seed belongs to men, to humans.
Taesha orders it.
Come.
Make fire.
Stop it.
- Thus invincible Thor succumbs to Ina,
to the pleasures of connubial bliss.
And while he's making love to Ina,
the moon shines on the seed and
Jupiter lies possessing Taesha.
The lovers resume their journey.
They must now traverse the
territory of the great buffalo.
Thor comes in peace.
Now the long
journey is almost over.
Thor and the faithful
Ina are about to enter
the land of the unknown.
In the sands, next to
the great water, the lord
Taesha has hidden the
destiny of the young Thor.
I told Thor what it was
but he did not understand.
Or perhaps he did not believe it.
Ina is expecting the fruit of their love.
She is a female, strong and intelligent.
A son in her belly.
A woman's magic.
But there is coming the
fateful archer Gnut,
the enemy of Thor
- It is Thor, sayeth the
spirits of the earth,
the sky, the water,
and those that creep in
the underworld.
- Taesha has spoken to us.
I want you to go to Thor.
Tell him to come to our village in peace.
- Your wish is my command, father.
You come.
Yes?
Bring.
- We welcome and pay homage to you, and I,
as village elder, declare
that from this time on,
you are the chief of chiefs.
- Thor leads none but
the bravest of warriors.
Yours is a people of feminine men.
- I am an old man and have
seen many things in my life,
this is one of the greatest moments.
It takes a shaman to know when it comes.
- I sense the joy in seeing
you, all over our village.
You come to us as a savior.
There has been no rain for moons now.
The animals are bags of bones.
Hungry tribes will come
to raid our village
and take what we have.
A little, I am willing to share.
Only a little, not all.
- No, we will give them nothing.
- Onid's heart is humble, and
desires to see men at peace.
But Thor is descended
from the God of thunder.
Kuasa is the first virgin
since the rising of the
new moon to reach the dawn of womanhood.
She must warm the bed of the chief.
Aye, so it is and has
been since time began.
- So it is and shall be until time ends.
Thor.
Thor!
Hear me, spirits of the
earth, sky, water, and below.
The seed of gold of Taesha
shall render nourishment
for all men until the end of time.
And thus Thor the invincible
shall plant the seed
and fertilize the earth
so that all who follow
are his children.
- I milked the goat,
look how much she gave.
Thor.
What is it, hunter?
Misfortune is upon us again.
What are you talking about?
- Many warriors coming, a great army,
descending from the mountains.
- How near are they?
- Less than five circles of the sun.
- Return and when they're in
striking distance, advise me.
- This was not destined
to be the great conflict
that would alter the course of history.
Thor's warriors were not warriors at all.
The women inside the huts
would have been better.
For these men, were men of peace.
Hopeless at fighting a war.
Instead, Gnut, Thor's mortal enemy,
and the one who slew his father,
had seasoned warriors under his command.
And they were made even more ferocious
by their hunger, because
the earth was dying
and offered no fruit.
Gnut knew of a land
where food could be found
and shelter from the cold that was to come
and women, and Thor, the chosen one.
But when a man lacks
the strength of a lion,
he must then utilize the
cunning of a serpent.
Women are the cunning sex
and Ina was their queen.
She had a plan and Thor listened to her.
It turned out to be perfect
in its simple logic.
The serpent.
- Thor!
Thor!
- No, he's my meat!
Over there.
Gnut doesn't want to kill Thor.
What Gnut has in mind is a lot worse.
- You, tie her up.
- Anuta the witch who collects the eyes
of dead men shall fail to get Thor's.
Her collection will be less than perfect.
- Taesha.
- No.
No!
- Spirits that rule the
night, spirits of evil,
the father I killed,
may the son forever go
wondering in blindness.
- Taesha!
- Taesha!
Yes.
I can see.
I can see again.
Gnut.
Look.
- Females.
They're supposed to be warriors.
- Taesha divined and
gave him back his sight.
- But he can't kill us as
long as we all stick together.
He'll have to pick us off one by one.
And outside the village.
So we'll stay put right here, men.
Plenty of pretty little slaves here.
We'll let them bring us
our water and our lamb.
- Thor was to be chief of chiefs.
Instead Gnut has taken my place.
And you wander around
in the land of the dead,
where is my father's sword?
Where is the power of Taesha?
I cannot fight alone against so many.
- Thor, this creature was sent by Taesha.
Centuries from now,
he'll be called a horse.
A horse stands for your force.
He can move faster than the wind.
But a horse also likes to run free.
He's not going to
volunteer to sit under you.
Let me go.
- Fruit for the master.
No!
- Anuta, listen to your son.
I ask you to help me.
Help me to kill Thor, as I killed Gant.
I ask you for my sake and the God walk
in the nether regions,
let us expand our forces
and let victory be for
the powers of darkness
until man ends.
- Good horse, good.
Good.
Good.
Good horse.
Come.
Let's try again.
Be good, be good.
Good horse.
Good.
Go on.
Run!
Run like the wind.
Good horse.
Run, horse!
Taesha.
Taesha!
Gnut, Gnut, I beg, I saw Thor.
He was riding a strange beast.
It was as big as a hut and
going faster than the wind.
It was like magic.
- Quiet!
- Ah!
- I knew he would return.
- Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
It's your time,
you better get inside.
Come quick, hurry.
Please, have mercy, spare us.
Stand firm, cowards.
Come back here.
Come back!
Here, use this.
- No!
- Thor was the leader of his effort,
but it was not a world in peace.
Since then, whoever desires the fruit
of the seed of gold, need only reach
for his plow, but no one has been
successful in cultivating
the seed of peace.