They Died with Their Boots On (1941) - full transcript

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.

[MARCH PLAYING]

WE'RE NEW CADETS, SIR.

YOU'RE NOT CADETS,
AND I'M NOT "SIR."

PULL IN YOUR CHIN!

STAND AT ATTENTION
WHEN YOU SPEAK

TO A NONCOMMISSIONED
OFFICER.

BROWN.
YES, SERGEANT.

MARCH THESE PLEBES

TO THE POST ADJUTANT'S
OFFICE FOR ENROLLMENT.

YES, SERGEANT.



DETACHMENT,
FORWARD MARCH!

KEEP THOSE
HEADS UP!

LOOK TO
YOUR FRONTS!

PULL IN
YOUR CHINS!

PLEBES, HALT!

NEW SET OF GENERALS,
EH, CAPTAIN?

THEY'RE IN THE ARMY
NOW, COLONEL.

FINE-LOOKING
MESS OF MANHOOD.

ABOUT FACE!

RIGHT FACE!

RIGHT FACE!

KEEP THOSE
HEADS UP.

HIGHER.

HIGHER!



FORWARD...

AND TO
DOUBLE-TIME,

MARCH!

COME ON,
GET THOSE HEAD UP.

PEP IT UP THERE!
PEP IT UP THERE!

GET YOUR HEADS UP!

YOU'RE PRETTY FRESH
FOR A CADET CORPORAL,

AREN'T YOU, SHARP?

MAYBE I CAN AFFORD
TO BE, SERGEANT.

ONE OF THESE DAYS,

YOU'RE GOING TO
TRIP UP THE WRONG LAD

AND FIND YOURSELF
FLAT ON YOUR FACE,

AND YOUR OLD MAN'S MONEY
WON'T HELP YOU ANY.

THAT'S THE TROUBLE
WITH THE ARMY, SERGEANT,

MAKES NO
DISTINCTIONS.

NO. YOU'RE ALL ALIKE
WHEN YOU GET HERE,

AND WE DON'T SAY
"WELCOME TO WEST POINT"

AND TURN OUT A GUARD
IN HONOR OF ANY CADET.

[HOUNDS BAYING]

HERE'S SOMEBODY YOU'LL
TURN OUT A GUARD FOR.

MUST BE A BRIGADIER
GENERAL, AT LEAST.

[WHISTLES]

SOME FOREIGNER

CALLING ON
THE COMMANDANT.

TURN OUT THE GUARD.
GENERAL OFFICER.

TURN OUT THE GUARD!

GENERAL OFFICER!

FALL IN!

PRESENT...

ARMS!

ORDER...ARMS!

WELCOME
TO WEST POINT, SIR.

MAY I DIRECT YOU
TO THE COMMANDANT?

YES, IF HE'S THE PROPER
PERSON FOR ME TO SEE.

I'M MR. CUSTER.

GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER
OF MONROE, MICHIGAN.

I'VE BEEN APPOINTED TO
THE ACADEMY AS A CADET.

WELCOME
TO WEST POINT.

NICE WORK, SARGE.

DISMISS THE GUARD!

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU
WAITING FOR, SHARP?

TAKE CHARGE
OF THIS MAN.

I'LL SHOW YOU TO YOUR
QUARTERS, MR. CUSTER.

WILL YOU BE KIND ENOUGH
TO FOLLOW ME?

WHAT ABOUT THESE HOUNDS?

OH, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THEM.

THEY'LL FOLLOW ME.

UNLEASH THEM, BOY.

AND HERE'S A DOLLAR
FOR YOURSELF.

THANK YOU, SIR.

WELL...

I'VE DONE 4 HITCHES
IN THE U.S. CAVALRY.

I THOUGHT
I'D SEEN EVERYTHING,

BUT YOU CAN CALL ME A MARINE
IF THAT ISN'T THE STRA--

YOU FAVOR CAVALIER BOOTS,
I SEE, MR. CUSTER.

THAT'S BECAUSE I'M GOING
INTO THE CAVALRY,

MR. SHARP.
IN MY OPINION,

AN INFANTRYMAN'S NO BETTER
THAN A BEAST OF BURDEN.

YOU HAVE DEFINITE IDEAS,
MR. CUSTER.

WHAT MADE YOU HONOR THE ARMY
BY CHOOSING IT AS A CAREER?

GLORY, MR. SHARP,
GLORY.

I WANT TO LEAVE
A NAME BEHIND ME

THAT THE NATION
WILL HONOR.

THERE'S A GREAT MANY MORE
STATUES FOR SOLDIERS

THAN THERE ARE
CIVILIANS, I'VE NOTICED.

I'M SURE YOU'LL FIT RIGHT IN
WITH THE STATUES, MR. CUSTER,

JUST LIKE PART OF THE HORSE.

WELL, HERE WE ARE,
MR. CUSTER.

HANG THESE ORDERLIES.

THEY HAVEN'T MOVED
PINCHBELLY'S THINGS YET.

BUT DON'T YOU WORRY,
MR. CUSTER,

WE'LL FIX THAT
RIGHT AWAY.

WILL YOU GIVE ME A HAND WITH
THIS JUNK HERE, MR. CUSTER?

OH, CERTAINLY, MR. SHARP.

I TRUST I'M NOT
INCONVENIENCING ANYBODY.

OH, NO, NO,
MR. CUSTER.

ON THE CONTRARY,

IT'S YOU WHO HAVE
BEEN INCONVENIENCED.

OH, NOT AT ALL.

WELL, I HOPE YOU'LL
BE COMFORTABLE HERE.

OF COURSE,
AS A FIRST-YEAR MAN,

YOU DON'T
RATE A SUITE.

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

WELL, CONFIDENTIALLY,
MR. SHARP,

THESE QUARTERS ARE
A GREAT DEAL BETTER

THAN THOSE I'M
ACCUSTOMED TO AT HOME.

OH, IS THAT SO?

MY, THAT'S A--

THAT'S A DASHING-LOOKING
OUTFIT YOU'RE WEARING,

MR. CUSTER.

OH, THANK YOU,
MR. SHARP.

YES, WE'VE--WE'VE NOTHING
TO COMPARE WITH IT HERE.

HAVEN'T YOU?

I HAD IT TAILOR-MADE
IN MONROE.

I WANTED THE FOLKS
TO SEE ME IN UNIFORM

BEFORE I LEFT.

DID YOU, UH, DESIGN IT
YOURSELF, MR. CUSTER?

WELL, NO, BUT IF YOU'VE
A MOMENT TO SPARE,

I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE
I GOT THE IDEA.

OH, CERTAINLY.

HERE.

ONE OF THE GREATEST
HEROES WHO EVER LIVED,

MR. SHARP.

MURAT,

THE KING
OF CAVALRYMEN.

HE WAS KNOWN
AS THE THUNDERBOLT,

AND HIS ONE TACTIC
WAS...

"RIDE TO THE SOUND
OF THE GUNS."

HMM. I MUST GET MYSELF
A TIGER SKIN

AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

QUITE A FELLOW.

OH, YES.

WELL, I MUST
BE RUNNING.

I'M SORRY, WE CAN'T
MAKE ARRANGEMENTS

FOR THE DOGS
UNTIL TOMORROW, THOUGH.

OH, THINK NOTHING OF IT,
MR. SHARP.

THEY'RE ACCUSTOMED TO
SLEEPING WITH ME ANYWAY.

OH, AND THANKS VERY MUCH
FOR YOUR KINDNESS TO ME.

WELL, CAESAR, WHAT
DO YOU WANT, HMM?

WHY, YOU KNOW YOU
DON'T LIKE ONIONS.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

OH, YOU WANT
YOUR BONES, EH?

COME ON. COME ON.

COME ON. COME ON.

OVER HERE.

HERE, CAESAR.

COME ON, HANNIBAL.
COME ON.

HERE YOU ARE.

HERE. HERE, CLEOPATRA.

THERE YOU ARE.

HERE. THERE YOU ARE.

HANNIBAL.

WHAT THE CONTINENTAL
BLUE BLAZES IS THIS?!

OH.

[CLEARING THROAT]

SORRY.

SORRY?

SORRY. I DIDN'T
HEAR YOU KNOCK.

YOU DIDN'T
HEAR ME KNOCK?

UH...

ANYTHING I CAN
DO FOR YOU?

YES, THERE IS.

YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT YOU
AND YOUR CONFOUNDED MENAGERIE

ARE DOING HERE
IN MY QUARTERS,

YOU CAN TELL ME

WHY MY EFFECTS HAVE BEEN
THROWN OUT INTO THE HALL,

YOU CAN TELL ME FROM WHAT
LUNATIC ASYLUM YOU ESCAPED,

AND YOU CAN TELL ME
HOW YOU'RE HERE

IN THAT COMIC-OPERA
UNIFORM

INSTEAD OF AT
A FANCY-DRESS BALL.

WELL, SIR, EXPLAIN!

MY NAME'S CUSTER, SIR--

CADET GEORGE
ARMSTRONG CUSTER--

AND I WAS ASSIGNED
TO THESE QUARTERS.

OH, YOU WERE,
WERE YOU?

WELL, I'M MAJOR
ROMULUS TAIPE,

QUARTERMASTER
AND COMMANDEER OF CADETS,

AND THIS HAPPENS
TO BE MY QUARTERS.

AND YOU'RE AN IMBECILE.

WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE?

WELL,
WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE?

I ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

WHO BROUGHT YOU HERE?
WHAT'S HIS NAME?

[BUGLE PLAYS CALL]

MUDD.

MUDD? THERE'S NO SUCH
NAME AT THE ACADEMY.

ARE YOU PRESUMING
TO TRIFLE WITH ME?

WELL, DON'T YOU
HEAR THAT CALL?

IT'S INSPECTION
FOR NEW CADETS.

GET OUT AND FALL IN!

I DON'T THINK
YOUR STAY

WILL BE VERY LONG
WITH US, MR. CUSTER.

I'M RECOMMENDING YOU
FOR A MENTAL EXAMINATION.

GET OUT!

GET OUT!

GET OUT, CONFOUND IT!

GET OUT OF HERE!

GET OUT!
GET OUT OF HERE!

NEW CADETS, FALL IN!

GET IN LINE.

STRAIGHTEN UP
THAT RANK.

PREPARE FOR INSPECTION!

ADJUST YOUR CHIN STRAP.

YES, SIR.

WHAT KIND OF SLOPPINESS
DO YOU CALL THAT?

FIX YOUR BELT.

TAKE HIS NAME,
SERGEANT.

YES, SIR.

SEE THAT THESE MEN
ARE INSTRUCTED

IN THE PROPER WAY
TO WEAR THEIR UNIFORMS.

EXTRA DRILL,
IF NECESSARY.

YES, SIR.

EYES FRONT, THAT MAN.

I SAID, EYES FRONT!

THAT MEANS YOU,
MARSHAL MURAT.

WELL, IT'S GOING TO
TAKE EVEN LESS TIME

TO GET RID OF YOU

THAN I SUSPECTED,
MR. CUSTER.

SERGEANT, PUT THIS
MANIAC UNDER ARREST.

TAKE HIM BEFORE
COLONEL SHERIDAN.

YES, SIR.

RIGHT FACE!

FORWARD...MARCH!

MR. CUSTER,

YOU ARE CHARGED WITH
A VERY GRAVE OFFENSE.

DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT
STRIKING A SUPERIOR

IS ONE OF THE MOST SERIOUS
OF MILITARY OFFENSES,

PUNISHABLE IN SOME CASES
WITH DEATH?

WHY DID YOU STRIKE
MR. SHARP?

I'M AFRAID
I CAN'T SAY, SIR.

IT WAS
A PERSONAL MATTER.

THERE ARE NO PERSONAL MATTERS
ON THE PARADE GROUND.

HAVE YOU ANYTHING
FURTHER TO SAY?

NO, SIR.

THEN I HAVE
NO ALTERNATIVE

BUT TO DISMISS YOU
FROM THE ACADEMY.

DISMISS?

OH, I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU COULD GET FIRED

FROM THE ARMY
FOR FIGHTING.

Taipe: WELL,
YOU KNOW IT NOW.

WHAT IS YOUR LISTING,
MR. CUSTER?

LISTING?

YES, LISTING.

IT'S ON THE FORM.

THE FORM YOU SIGNED
IN THE ADJUTANT'S OFFICE.

WHAT FORM? I DIDN'T
SIGN ANY FORM.

I HAVEN'T BEEN TO
THE ADJUTANT'S OFFICE.

DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU
HAVEN'T SUBSCRIBED

TO THE ARTICLES OF WAR?

NO, SIR.

AHEM.

IN THAT CASE, CUSTER,

WE CERTAINLY CAN'T
FIRE YOU FROM THE ARMY,

BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
IN THE ARMY.

YOU'VE BEEN
PRETTY LUCKY.

LET THIS BE
A LESSON TO YOU.

TAKE HIM OVER TO THE POST
ADJUTANT, SERGEANT.

YES, SIR.

I'D LIKE TO THANK--

ABOUT FACE!

I'D JUST LIKE TO--

FORWARD...MARCH!

THANKS ANYWAY, SIR.

YOU KNOW, TAIPE,

I'M GLAD IT
TURNED OUT THIS WAY.

THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT FELLOW I LIKE.

YEAH?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS.

YOU ASK ME,

HE'LL MAKE
THE WORST RECORD

OF ANY CADET
AT WEST POINT

SINCE
ULYSSES S. GRANT.

AT FULL CHARGE,
A 12-POUND SHELL

WILL BURST INTO

APPROXIMATELY
50 FRAGMENTS.

MR. CUSTER!

YES, SIR.

YOU KNOW HOW MANY FRAGMENTS
WILL A 12-POUND SHELL BURST?

OH, UM...

CERTAINLY NOT LESS
THAN 2, SIR.

HA HA HA!
HA HA HA!

HAROLD McCORD.

[APPLAUSE]

RONALD McKENZIE.

[APPLAUSE]

FRANCIS DUPONT.

[APPLAUSE]

CONGRATULATIONS,
MR. DUPONT.

THANK YOU, SIR.
EDWARD SHARP.

GOOD LUCK,
MR. SHARP.

THANK YOU,
SIR.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D ENVY THAT TOAD,

GRADUATING
AHEAD OF ME.

I'D CERTAINLY
LIKE TO BE

IN HIS BOOTS TODAY,
THOUGH.

WHY?

WHY? BECAUSE
IF ABRAHAM LINCOLN

GETS ELECTED
IN NOVEMBER,

THERE'S GOING TO BE
A SHOOTING WAR,

AND SHARP
WILL BE IN IT.

AW, BUNKUM.
IT'S ALL TALK, CUSTER.

THERE'LL BE NO WAR.

NO? WELL, YOU WAIT
AND SEE, ROSSER.

I TELL YOU,

IF LINCOLN GETS ELECTED,
THE SOUTH WILL FIGHT.

[BAND PLAYS MILITARY MARCH]

[DRUM CORPS PLAYING]

BATTALION...

TEN-HUT.

YOU ARE ABOUT TO HEAR
AN ORDER READ

BY A CIVILIAN MEMBER
OF THE NATIONAL GOVERNMENT.

SENATOR SMITH.

GENTLEMEN,

BECAUSE OF
A PRESENT CRISIS

IN THE AFFAIRS
OF THE NATION

WHICH MENACES
ARMED REBELLION

AND DESTRUCTION
OF THE SACRED UNION

ESTABLISHED
BY OUR FATHERS,

IT HAS BEEN DECREED
BY CONGRESS

THAT EVERY OFFICER
AND CADET OF THE ACADEMY

SHALL SUBSCRIBE HIS NAME
TO THE FOLLOWING OATH.

I SWEAR TO MAINTAIN
AND DEFEND

THE SOVEREIGNTY
OF THE UNITED STATES

AS PARAMOUNT TO ALL
ALLEGIANCE OR FEALTY

I MAY OWE TO ANY STATE
OR TERRITORY...

SO HELP ME GOD.

ANY OFFICER OR CADET

WHO FINDS HIMSELF
UNABLE TO COMPLY

WITH ITS REQUIREMENTS

WILL FALL OUT TO
THE RIGHT OF THE BATTALION.

GENTLEMEN
OF THE SOUTH...

FALL OUT!

I SEE I WAS NOT
MISINFORMED

AS TO THE PREPONDERANCE
OF TRAITORS AT WEST POINT.

IT'S HIGH TIME
THAT CONGRESS ACTED

TO CLEAN OUT THIS NEST
OF SECESSIONISTS.

WE DON'T
CONCERN OURSELVES

WITH THE MAKING
OF WARS HERE, SENATOR.

ONLY THE FIGHTING
OF THEM.

THE ACADEMY LEAVES
EACH MAN

TO HIS OWN
SENSE OF HONOR.

GENTLEMEN OF
THE SOUTH, FALL IN!

UNITED STATES
MILITARY ACADEMY...

CLOSE TO THE LEFT!

GENTLEMEN, I AM SORRY
THAT OUR COMRADESHIP

MUST END IN THESE
UNHAPPY CIRCUMSTANCES.

WE HAVE LIVED
AS SOLDIERS,

AND POLITICS HAVE HAD
NO PLACE AMONG US.

LET US PART THEN
AS WE HAVE LIVED--

IN THE DETERMINATION
TO DO OUR DUTY,

WHEREVER IT MAY LIE.

HAVE WE YOUR PERMISSION
TO MOVE OFF, SIR?

MOVE OFF,
CAPTAIN FITZHUGH LEE.

SHOULDER...

ARMS!

BANDMASTER,
SOUND DIXIE!

[BAND PLAYS DIXIE]

COMPANY, LEFT...

FACE!

BATTALION...

MARCH!

EYES...

LEFT!

PRESENT...ARMS!

FORWARD!

FRANKLY,
I DISLIKE THE IDEA

OF GRADUATING
JUNIOR CLASS MEN.

EMERGENCY
OR NO EMERGENCY,

A HALF-BAKED OFFICER
IS WORSE THAN NONE AT ALL.

BUT I COULDN'T MAKE
THE WAR DEPARTMENT SEE IT.

AT LEAST THE SELECTION
IS LEFT IN OUR HANDS.

WELL, LET'S TAKE THEM
ALPHABETICALLY.

WHO'S FIRST?

CADET, UH,
PERCIVAL ANDERSON.

ANDERSON. DOESN'T
SEEM TO HAVE MADE

MUCH IMPRESSION ON ME.

ANDERSON'S NOT THE
CONSPICUOUS TYPE, SIR.

BUT HIS RECORD SPEAKS
FOR HIM. NO DEMERITS.

THAT MIGHT MEAN
HE'S DEVOTED HIMSELF

TO KEEPING OUT OF TROUBLE.

I THINK ANDERSON
WILL BE THE BETTER OFF

FOR ANOTHER YEAR.
AS A SENIOR, HE'D HAVE TO

ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
AND MAKE DECISIONS.

I KNOW, SIR,
BUT--

NEXT!

GEORGE ARMSTRONG
CUSTER.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING
INCONSPICUOUS ABOUT HIM,

IS THERE?

NO, SIR, NOTHING.
NOTHING AT ALL.

HE HAS NO REGARD

FOR DISCIPLINE,
ORGANIZATION,

NOR TACTICS.

AND AS FOR HIS RECORD,

GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER

HAS THE LOWEST MARKS
AND THE HIGHEST DEMERITS

OF ANY CADET WHO EVER
ATTENDED THIS ACADEMY,

INCLUDING
ULYSSES S. GRANT.

HMM. I WONDER WHAT
HAPPENED TO GRANT.

WELL, WHAT
ABOUT CUSTER?

HE'S THE BEST RIDER

AND THE BEST SWORDSMAN
WE HAVE.

HE SEEMS ENDOWED WITH A
SINGULAR AGGRESSIVENESS.

A SINGULAR AGGRESSIVENESS.

YES, THE TYPE
THAT WINS BRAWLS,

NOT BATTLES.

I TELL YOU, SIR,
THAT--

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION OF
HIS QUALITY FOR COMMAND?

A SQUADRON WOULD
FOLLOW HIM TO HELL.

YOU'RE FORGETTING
YOURSELF, SERGEANT.

AS I WAS SAYING, SIR,
CUSTER'S THE TYPE

THAT WINS BRAWLS,
NOT BATTLES.

RIGHT AT THIS VERY
MOMENT,

HE'S DOING
A PUNISHMENT TOUR

FOR HIS
LATEST ESCAPADE.

CUSTER, CARRY
THAT RIFLE PROPERLY

AND QUICKEN THE PACE.

HUH? WHY? NOBODY'S
LOOKING AT ME.

QUIET! YOU KNOW YOU'RE
NOT ALLOWED TO TALK

ON PUNISHMENT TOUR!

MOVE ON!

I HOPE YOU WON'T THINK ME BOLD
FOR ADDRESSING A STRANGER,

BUT I--I'M
ELIZABETH BACON OF MONROE,

AND I THINK I'M LOST.

OH, BUT
I'M SPEAKING TO YOU.

I'M TRYING TO FIND
COLONEL SHERIDAN'S HOUSE.

MY FATHER HAS SOME BUSINESS
AT THE COMMANDANT'S OFFICE,

AND HE THOUGHT HE'D BE
RATHER A LONG WHILE,

SO HE TOLD ME TO GO AHEAD
AND FIND THE HOUSE MYSELF.

WELL, YOU SEE
HOW I FOUND IT.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS SILLY
GETTING LOST AT WEST POINT,

BUT IT'S SUCH A BIG PLACE,
AND I'VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE,

AND I'VE FORGOTTEN
ALL MY FATHER'S DIRECTIONS.

YOU SEE, I TOOK
THAT PATH OVER THERE

BY THE ROSE GARDEN,

AND WHEN I GOT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE ROSE GARDEN,

I TURNED TO ADMIRE
THE VIEW--

REALLY, SIR.

I'VE BEEN JUST AS CAREFULLY
BROUGHT UP AS YOU HAVE,

AND I THINK IF I CAN
MAKE SO BOLD

AS TO SPEAK
TO A STRANGER,

THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
IS TO REPLY,

PARTICULARLY
WHEN THAT STRANGER'S A LADY.

I'VE TOLD YOU WHO I AM
AND WHERE I COME FROM

AND WHAT MY FATHER'S
BUSINESS IS HERE,

AND THAT CERTAINLY,
IN AN EMERGENCY,

SHOULD BE
INTRODUCTION ENOUGH.

AND THE LEAST
YOU CAN DO

IS STAND STILL WHEN
I'M SPEAKING TO YOU.

THAT'S BETTER.

OH.

OH!

I'VE NEVER BEEN
SO OUTRAGEOUSLY TREATED

IN ALL MY LIFE!
I ALWAYS THOUGHT

WEST POINT WAS
A PLACE FOR GENTLEMEN!

I ALWAYS THOUGHT OUR ARMY

WAS COMPOSED OF THE FLOWER
OF OUR COUNTRY!

I SHALL TELL MY FATHER
ABOUT THIS.

I SHALL TELL
COLONEL SHERIDAN ABOUT THIS!

OH, YOU NEEDN'T
START BACK NOW.

IT'S TOO LATE.

YOU CAN REHEARSE
ALL THE APOLOGIES YOU LIKE,

BUT I SHAN'T STAY HERE

TO LISTEN TO ANY OF THEM.
GOOD DAY, SIR.

MR. CUSTER.

YOU'RE WANTED

AT THE COMMANDANT'S
OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.

YOU'D BETTER GET THERE
AT THE DOUBLE QUICK.

RIGHT. HANG ON TO THIS,
WILL YOU, SERGEANT?

THAT ISN'T
THE RIGHT DIRECTION!

OH, YES, IT IS!
MISS BACON.

MISS BACON. PLEASE,
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I COULDN'T
SPEAK TO YOU.

IT'S AGAINST
REGULATIONS.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

HALT!

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
COLONEL SHERIDAN'S HOUSE,

THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY.

I'M VERY SORRY
IF I SEEMED RUDE,

BUT, YOU SEE, WHILE YOU'RE
WALKING GUARD DUTY,

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK
TO ANYONE ABOUT ANYTHING.

WELL, THEN WHY
DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

WELL, I COULDN'T
SPEAK.

OH, YOU MEAN
YOU COULDN'T SPEAK!

NO! I MEAN, YES!
UH, I COULDN'T.

OH! HO HO HO!

HA HA.

OH.

WELL, THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, SIR.

AND NOW THAT I'VE REACHED
MY DESTINATION, I--

OH, MISS BACON?

MISS BACON, PLEASE
DON'T GO INSIDE YET.

THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT TO SAY TO YOU.

YOU SEE,
I'M FROM MONROE, TOO.

I CAN'T TALK NOW.

I'M DUE AT
THE COMMANDANT'S OFFICE,

AND IF I KEEP COLONEL
SHERIDAN WAITING...

YOU CAN TELL UNCLE PHIL
YOU WERE WITH ME.

UNCLE PHIL?

COLONEL SHERIDAN.

OH, IS HE YOUR UNCLE?

NOT EXACTLY, BUT, YOU SEE,

HE AND MY FATHER
ARE OLD FRIENDS.

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
I USED TO SIT ON HIS KNEE.

OH, I SEE.

WELL, I'M CERTAINLY GLAD
YOU NEVER SAT ON MY KNEE.

SIR?

OH, I DON'T MEAN IT
THAT WAY, MISS BACON.

IF YOU HAD BEEN LITTLE
ENOUGH TO SIT ON MY KNEE,

YOU'D HAVE BEEN TOO OLD
FOR ME NOW--

I MEAN, I'D HAVE BEEN
TOO OLD FOR YOU NOW.

OH.

LOOK, MISS BACON,

I REALLY MUST GO NOW,
BUT DO YOU THINK

IF I WERE TO COME
STROLLING PAST YOUR HOUSE

AROUND 9:00 AT NIGHT,

YOU MIGHT BE JUST SITTING
AROUND ON THE VERANDAH?

LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES.

AND IF I DID FIND YOU
SITTING ON THE PORCH,

PERHAPS YOU AND I COULD
GO FOR A WALK TOGETHER.

WE SEEM TO HAVE
BEEN WALKING TOGETHER

EVER SINCE WE'VE MET.

WELL, I CAN'T IMAGINE,
MA'AM, IF I MAY SAY SO,

ANY PLEASANTER JOURNEY,
MA'AM,

THAN WALKING
THROUGH LIFE

WITH YOU
BESIDE ME, MA'AM.

I MUST GO NOW.

CADET CUSTER, SIR,
REPORTING AS ORDERED.

MR. CUSTER, HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
WHY I SENT FOR YOU?

NO, SIR.

DO YOU KNOW THAT
YOU HAVE THE WORST RECORD

OF ANY CADET THAT WEST POINT
HAS HAD IN YEARS?

YES, SIR.

Sheridan: WHY?

I DON'T KNOW, SIR. THAT'S
BEEN PUZZLING ME, TOO.

WELL, SINCE YOU CAN'T
ANSWER THAT QUESTION,

PERHAPS YOU CAN
TELL ME WHY,

ON THE VERY EVE
OF YOUR CHANCE TO GRADUATE,

YOU BECOME INVOLVED

IN AN UNDIGNIFIED BRAWL
WITH A CIVILIAN.

IT WASN'T
A CIVILIAN, SIR.

OH, NO.
JUST A MARINE.

[CLEARS THROAT]
OH.

WELL, MARINE OR CIVILIAN,

MOST UNBECOMING BEHAVIOR
FOR A WEST POINT CADET

TO ENGAGE IN FISTICUFFS
ON A PUBLIC STREET.

ONLY EXTREME PROVOCATION
WOULD CALL FOR SUCH CONDUCT.

THAT'S JUST
WHAT IT WAS, SIR.

HE SAID HE'D BEEN
THROUGH 2 WARS

AND NEVER SEEN
A DEAD CAVALRYMAN.

WHAT? WHY--

WELL, I TRUST WHEN HE RECOVERS
FROM YOUR, UH, REPROOF

THAT HE'LL BE TAKEN OUT
TO THE CEMETERY

AND SHOWN THE GRAVE
OF LIGHT HORSE HARRY LEE.

[LAUGHTER]

MR. CUSTER, I SUPPOSE
YOU HAD HOPED TO GRADUATE

WITH THE REST OF YOUR CLASS?

YES, SIR.

AND IF YOU HAD GRADUATED,
WHAT WERE YOUR PLANS?

OH, AN ASSIGNMENT TO
THE SECOND CAVALRY, SIR.

THAT'S THE FINEST REGIMENT
IN THE ARMY.

BUT I'M AFRAID THERE WON'T
BE ANY VACANCIES LEFT

IF THE OTHERS BEAT ME
TO WASHINGTON.

IN THAT CASE, I SUGGEST
YOU LEAVE ON THE NEXT TRAIN.

SIR? YOU MEAN, I--

YOU ARE THE LAST OF THE CLASS
TO BE GRADUATED.

THE OTHERS HAVE ALREADY
RECEIVED THEIR DIPLOMAS.

THANK YOU, SIR.

AND I TRUST THAT
YOUR FUTURE CONDUCT

AS AN OFFICER OF
THE UNITED STATES ARMY

WILL JUSTIFY
MY CONFIDENCE IN YOU.

YES, SIR.
THANK YOU, SIR.

AND NOW...

THAT TRAIN LEAVES
IN AN HOUR.

YES, SIR.

OH. IN AN HOUR, SIR?

I'M AFRAID
I'LL HAVE TO CATCH

THE LATE TRAIN, SIR.

WHAT? WHY?

WELL, I, UH...

WELL, YOU SEE, I...

I SENT MY LAUNDRY OUT
YESTERDAY,

AND IT HASN'T
COME BACK YET, SIR.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING FOR 3 YEARS
TO CATCH THAT TRAIN.

I SUGGEST THAT
YOU KEEP ON RUNNING--

YES, SIR, BUT--

WITH OR WITHOUT
YOUR LAUNDRY.

YES, SIR.

THANK YOU, SIR.

OH, FATHER.

HELLO, MY DEAR.

BACK FROM YOUR WALK
ALREADY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
SITTING HERE ALONE?

OH, IT'S SUCH A LOVELY NIGHT

THAT I JUST DIDN'T WANT
TO GO INSIDE.

MM-HMM.

SOUNDS AS IF YOU'RE
FALLING IN LOVE

WITH, UH...
WEST POINT.

OH, IT'S
A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE
A HANDSOME YOUNG CADET

TO SHOW IT TO YOU
IN THE MOONLIGHT.

I DIDN'T GO
FOR MY WALK.

WHY NOT?

HE DIDN'T COME BACK.

HE DIDN'T COME--

WHY,
THE YOUNG SCOUNDREL!

A WEST POINT CADET
IS SUPPOSED TO BE

AN OFFICER
AND A GENTLEMAN.

I'LL SPEAK TO COLONEL
SHERIDAN ABOUT HIM.

THE INSOLENT PUPPY!
WHAT'S HIS NAME?

I DON'T KNOW, AND YOU MUSTN'T
TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT.

AND WHY NOT?

BECAUSE HE'S THE MAN
I'M GOING TO MARRY!

Corporal: HOW DOES
THE ADJUTANT GENERAL

FEEL THIS MORNING?

HE'S BARKING
LIKE A FOX!

ANY ORDERS FOR ME YET,
CORPORAL?

NO,
LIEUTENANT CUSTER.

I'M SICK OF
HANGING AROUND

WAITING TO SEE
THE ADJUTANT GENERAL.

I'VE WRITTEN HIM
TIME AFTER TIME

ASKING FOR
AN ASSIGNMENT TO A REGIMENT,

AND I DON'T GET ANY ANSWER.

NOW, BY JUDAS, I'M GOING IN
TO SEE HIM IN PERSON.

HE'LL SEE NO ONE
EXCEPT BY APPOINTMENT.

HE WON'T, EH? HAH.

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Custer:
HELP! FIRE!

SPIES!

SABOTAGE!

WHAT IS ALL THIS?
GET THE FIRE BRIGADE!

GET WATER!
GET WATER, YOU IDIOTS!

[YELLING]

WELL...

WHY, MAJOR TAIPE.

I'M VERY GLAD
TO SEE YOU, SIR.

WOULD YOU MIND
SAYING A WORD

TO THE ADJUTANT GENERAL
ON MY BEHALF?

I'VE BEEN WAITING WEEKS
TO BE ASSIGNED--

I HAVE A FEELING

THAT YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE
FOR THIS CONFUSION.

BUT IT WILL SERVE YOU
TO NO PURPOSE...

BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO BE
THE ADJUTANT GENERAL.

ALSO, I HAPPEN TO BE
WELL AWARE

THAT YOU'VE BEEN
AWAITING AROUND FOR ORDERS.

AND YOU'LL
CONTINUE TO WAIT

UNTIL EVERY
COMPETENT OFFICER

HAS BEEN ASSIGNED
TO ACTIVE DUTY.

AND THEN, MR. CUSTER,

I MAY FIND A PLACE
FOR YOU...

TRAINING
INFANTRY RECRUITS!

GOOD DAY!

YOU AIN'T DONE MUCH
WITH YOUR SOUP, BOSS.

DON'T LIKE?

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT,
BUT YOU CAN TAKE IT AWAY.

YES, SIR.

GOT SOMETHING OVER HERE
THAT'LL EXCITE YOUR PALATE.

YES, SIR.

CREAMED ONIONS.

SPECIALTY OF THE HOUSE,
SIR.

EVER SINCE PRESIDENT
ANDREW JACKSON'S TIME.

SAY, WAIT A MIN--

ISN'T THAT GENERAL SCOTT,
GENERAL WINFIELD SCOTT?

HOW DO YOU DO,
CHARLES?

VERY WELL,
THANK YOU.

KIND OF LATE TODAY,
GENERAL.

AH, THESE ARE BUSY TIMES,
CHARLES. BUSY TIMES.

YES, SIR,
THAT'S THE GENERAL.

COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF.

A POWERFUL EATIN' GENTLEMAN,
SIR.

ONLY TIME FOR A SNACK,
CHARLES.

I'LL HAVE MY HORS D'OEUVRES,
SOUP,

DOUBLE RIB SIRLOIN,
POTATOES AU GRATIN,

ASPARAGUS,
SPICED PEARS,

AND, OF COURSE, THE CREAMED
BERMUDA ONIONS.

I'M DESOLATE,
GENERAL.

THE LAST PORTION
OF BERMUDA ONIONS

JUST BEEN SERVED.

I'LL PREPARE MORE MYSELF,
IF YOU'LL JUST WAIT.

WAIT, MAN, WAIT?

WITH THE SOUTHERN PATROL
AT MANASSAS?

THIS IS WAR, CHARLES, WAR.

I'LL ORDER THE SWEET LATER.

YES, SIR.

PARDON ME, SIR.

MR. CUSTER, SIR.

I COULDN'T HELP
OVERHEARING

WHAT YOU SAID, GENERAL.

THESE ONIONS HAVE
JUST BEEN SERVED ME.

I'D DEEM IT
A PLEASURE, SIR,

IF YOU'D ACCEPT THEM.

THAT'S VERY GENEROUS, BUT I
COULDN'T DEPRIVE YOU OF THEM.

[SNIFFING]

THAT IS,
OF ALL OF THEM.

HA HA HA HA!
WILL YOU LUNCH WITH ME?

THANK YOU, SIR.

[CUSTER LAUGHING]

HO HO. THAT'S
A GOOD ONE, SIR.

YOU MENTIONED
HAVING NO APPETITE.

HOW DO YOU ACCOUNT
FOR THAT?

I THINK I LOST IT

IN THE ADJUTANT
GENERAL'S OFFICE, SIR.

CAMPING AROUND THERE
FOR 3 WEEKS

WAITING FOR AN ASSIGNMENT,
AND ALL THE TIME,

THE REBELS ROLLING DOWN
ON WASHINGTON.

INDEED?

HOW DID YOU DO
AT WEST POINT?

WELL, SIR, FIRST
IN EQUITATION, SIR,

FIRST IN SWORDPLAY.

AND STUDIES?

UH-UH.
I WAS AFRAID

YOU'D ASK THAT, SIR.
LAST.

HA HA HA HA!

CONFIDENTIALLY,
YOUNG MAN,

I SAW THE WEST POINT
EXAMINATION PAPERS MYSELF.

AND THE ONLY QUESTION
I COULD HAVE ANSWERED WAS,

NAME THE PRESENT
COMMANDER IN CHIEF

OF THE UNITED STATES ARMY.

HA HA HA HA!

MR. CUSTER,
I THINK YOU BETTER

WALK ACROSS
THE STREET WITH ME...

AS SOON AS WE'VE DISPOSED
OF THE BERMUDAS.

RIGHT, SIR.

WHAT--

HA HA HA HA HA!

OH, I'M SORRY!

I WARN YOU, CUSTER,

IT'S A FATAL MISTAKE
TO STEAM ONIONS.

EVEN WHEN THEY'RE SEALED
IN CONTAINERS, SIR?

UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

YOU STEAM ALL THE BEST
OUT OF THEM.

GENERAL, YOU CERTAINLY
KNOW YOUR ONIONS.

HOLD HIM HERE, JONES.
I MAY NEED HIM LATER.

MR. TAIPE, YOU'RE
THE MAN WE WANT TO SEE.

POST THIS OFFICER
TO THE SECOND CAVALRY.

I KNOW THEY
HAVE A VACANCY

BECAUSE I DREW ON THEM

FOR AN AIDE
THIS MORNING.

YES, SIR.

YOU'VE NO OBJECTIONS
TO THE SECOND?

IF THERE'S EVER
A FINER REGIMENT

IN THE CAVALRY, SIR,

SOMEONE WILL HAVE
TO RAISE IT.

WHEN IS THE LIEUTENANT
TO REPORT?

TONIGHT, I HOPE, SIR.

SECOND MAY GO INTO ACTION
TOMORROW.

I CAN PROMISE YOU
IT WILL, MY BOY.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
THERE ISN'T A HORSE

TO BE HAD IN WASHINGTON
AT ANY PRICE, SIR.

IF THERE IS NO HORSE,

MAKE THE ORDER TO REPORT
AT THE OFFICER'S FIRST ABILITY.

VERY WELL, SIR.

SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU,
CUSTER,

BUT YOU'LL SEE ACTION
SOON ENOUGH.

GOOD LUCK.

THANK YOU, SIR.

THIS IS GENERAL TAIPE'S
HORSE.

GIVE HIM MY COMPLIMENTS.

AND GET OUT OF MY WAY,
CORPORAL!

OH, CUSTER, SIR.

SECOND LIEUTENANT
REPORTING FOR DUTY.

OH, GLAD TO HAVE YOU
WITH US.

THANK YOU, SIR.

MR. CUSTER,
GENTLEMEN.

HELLO. PLEASED
TO MEET YOU, GENTLEMEN.

HAVE A DRINK, SIR.

THANK YOU.

HERE'S TO BLOODY WAR
AND QUICK PROMOTION.

YOU BET! A FELLOW OUGHT
TO COME OUT OF THIS

A MAJOR AT LEAST.

YOU'RE QUITE AN OPTIMIST,
AREN'T YOU?

NO, SIR,
JUST FEEL LUCKY.

IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN LUCK
WITH YOUR GRADES IN TACTICS.

WELL, HELLO,
SHARP.

YOU KNOW EACH OTHER?

YES. GENERAL BLOWHARD AND I
WERE AT THE ACADEMY TOGETHER.

SURE,
THAT'S RIGHT, SIR.

NOW, GENTLEMEN,
THERE'S A FACE

I ALWAYS LIKE
TO SHAKE HANDS WITH.

[LAUGHING]

WHOA, BOY. BETTER BE
A LITTLE CIRCUMSPECT

WITH YOUR
SQUADRON COMMANDER.

HE HAD. YOU MAY HAVE
BUFFALOED YOUR WAY

THROUGH WEST POINT,
CUSTER,

BUT YOU'LL TOE
THE MARK HERE.

ATTENTION!

ALL RIGHT, GENTLEMEN,
AS YOU WERE.

MR. CUSTER, SIR,
JUST REPORTED.

WELL, MR. CUSTER, YOU ARRIVED
AT AN OPPORTUNE MOMENT.

WE'RE MOVING ON
MANASSAS JUNCTION,

ATTACKING AT 4 A.M.

4 A.M.? GOOD!

WE'LL HAVE THEM
ON THE RUN BY 4 P.M.

I KNEW AS SOON AS
I GOT DOWN HERE,

THINGS
WOULD START MOVING.

COME ON, MEN!

FORWARD!

[EXPLOSION]

[EXPLOSION]

DISMOUNT! PREPARE
TO FIGHT ON FOOT.

SKIRMISHES,

GUIDE CENTER!
FORWARD!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE, CUSTER?

YOU HAD ORDERS TO
RETREAT ON CENTERVILLE.

I'M GOING TO HOLD
THAT BRIDGE

UNTIL THE INFANTRY
GET ACROSS.

YOU HAD YOUR
ORDERS! G-TROOP!

PREPARE TO RETIRE!

AS YOU WERE, G-TROOP!

I'M IN COMMAND HERE, CUSTER,
JUST AS LONG AS I CAN STAND.

THAT SUITS ME!

COME ON, MEN.
LET'S TAKE THAT BRIDGE!

[SOUNDING CHARGE]

READY...AIM...

FIRE!

CHARGE!

FIRE!

FORWARD!

FORWARD!

OH, CUSTER, IT'S YOU.
GOOD WORK!

GENERAL SHERIDAN.
GENERAL SHERIDAN.

BUT YOU'RE HIT, MY BOY.

YEAH, I GUESS I AM.

WELL, I GUESS
WE CAN'T GRUDGE YOU

A COUPLE OF
WEEKS IN THE HOSPITAL

AND A CHANCE TO GO
HOME. GOOD LUCK!

NOW THIS HAND.

OHH. LADIES,
PLEASE, PLEASE.

ISN'T THAT ENOUGH?

FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE
ONLY HAD 30 NURSES

TO TAKE CARE
OF AN ENTIRE ARMY,

AND IT TAKES 4 OF YOU
TO GIVE ME A BATH.

BUT, LIEUTENANT, WE ONLY
WANT YOU TO LOOK YOUR BEST

WHEN YOU GET YOUR MEDAL.

I DON'T WANT A MEDAL.

I JUST WANT A BEEFSTEAK
AND A BOTTLE OF BOURBON.

OH.

ATTENTION!

AT EASE.

HELLO, CUSTER.

HOW ARE YOU, MY BOY?

OH, TERRIBLE, SIR,
TERRIBLE.

I GET GROOMED
AND CURRIED

BY SQUADS OF
THESE NICE LADIES

8 HOURS A DAY, SIR.

THAT'S ONE OF THE HORRORS
OF WAR, MY BOY.

NEVER MIND. YOU'LL BE
OUT OF HERE BEFORE LONG.

MR. CUSTER, WHEN AN OFFICER

DELIBERATELY DISOBEYS
ORDERS IN ACTION,

THERE CAN BE BUT
ONE OF 2 CONSEQUENCES:

A FIRING SQUAD
OR A MEDAL.

YOU SEEM TO HAVE DRAWN
THE MEDAL...THIS TIME.

THANK YOU, SIR.

THAT KIND OF
BALANCES ME UP.

OUNCE OF LEAD IN
MY RIGHT SHOULDER,

AN OUNCE OF SILVER
ON MY LEFT.

NOW, IS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE YOU NEED?

YES, THERE IS JUST
ONE THING, SIR.

WHAT'S THAT?

A LETTER
OF INTRODUCTION.

TO WHOM?

TO A MR. BACON,
SIR, OF MONROE.

I UNDERSTAND HE'S AN
ACQUAINTANCE OF YOURS.

YES, HE IS. HE...

BUT YOU'RE FROM MONROE.

YOU OUGHT TO KNOW
MR. BACON YOURSELF.

WELL, I'M NOT FROM
HIS SIDE OF TOWN, SIR.

OHH, I SEE.

ALL RIGHT, MY BOY.

I'LL WRITE THAT LETTER
BEFORE I LEAVE.

THANK YOU, SIR.

OH, I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU HAPPEN TO KNOW

THAT MR. BACON
IS THE FATHER

OF A VERY
PRETTY YOUNG WOMAN?

OH, IS THAT SO?

OH, AHEM. WELL,
TAKE CARE OF THAT SHOULDER.

GOOD LUCK, MY BOY.

THANK YOU, SIR.

SQUAD, AT EASE.

LADIES, I OWE YOU
A DEBT OF GRATITUDE

THAT NO WORDS
OF MINE CAN EVER REPAY.

YOUR DEVOTED
MINISTRATIONS

HAVE PERFORMED
A MIRACLE

AND HASTENED
MY RECOVERY.

All: OH, THANK YOU,
LIEUTENANT CUSTER.

AND NOW, I'M GETTING UP!

OH!
OH, NO! WHAT?

OH, LIEUTENANT CUSTER,
YOU CAN'T! YOU MUSTN'T!

OH, BUT I CAN
AND I MUST!

OH, NO.

YOU'RE NOT WELL ENOUGH.

SQUAD, ATTENTION!

LADIES, I BID YOU
A FOND FAREWELL.

SQUAD, AT EASE!

WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO?

COME BACK HERE!

[TRAIN WHISTLE]

Men: ♪ IN PLACE OF WATER,
WE'LL DRINK ALE ♪

♪ AND PAY NO RECKONING
ON THE NAIL ♪

♪ NO MAN FOR DEBT
SHALL GO TO JAIL ♪

♪ IF HE FROM
GARRYOWEN HAIL... ♪

♪ IN PLACE OF WATER,
WE'LL DRINK ALE ♪

♪ AND PAY NO RECKONING
ON THE NAIL ♪

♪ NO MAN FOR DEBT
SHALL GO TO JAIL ♪

♪ IF HE FROM
GARRYOWEN HAIL... ♪

♪ LET BACCHUS' SONS
BE NOT DISMAYED ♪

♪ AND JOIN WITH ME
EACH JOVIAL BLADE ♪

♪ COME BOOZE AND SING
AND LEND YOUR AID ♪

♪ TO HELP ME
WITH THE CHORUS ♪

♪ IN PLACE OF WATER,
WE'LL DRINK ALE ♪

♪ AND PAY NO RECKONING
ON THE NAIL ♪

♪ NO MAN FOR DEBT
SHALL GO TO JAIL ♪

♪ IF HE FROM
GARRYOWEN HAIL... ♪

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S A FINE SONG,
SIR. WHAT IS IT?

AW, A BROTHER CAVALIER,
EH, WHAT?

BUTLER, SIR.

QUEEN'S OWN BUTLER
THEY CALL ME IN THE MESS.

LATE OF THE FIFTH
ROYAL LANCERS,

PRESENTLY OF THE FIRST
MICHIGAN CAVALRY.

AH, VERY HAPPY, SIR.

CUSTER, SECOND
U.S. CAVALRY.

CUSTER? I SAY,

NOT THE BLOKE WHO DID
THE SHOW AT BULL RUN?

YEAH.

OH, WON'T YOU
SIT DOWN, SIR?

HI THERE, TAPSTER.

UNLIMBER THAT MERRY
OLD SPIGOT ARM OF YOURS.

THERE ARE POTS
TO BE TOSSED!

WON'T YOU JOIN US
IN A DRINK, SIR?

OH, NO, THANKS, SIR.
MUSTN'T HAVE

THE SMELL OF LIQUOR
ON MY BREATH TODAY,

BUT I'D BE GLAD TO BUY
YOU GENTLEMEN A ROUND.

OH...

TELL ME, HOW DID YOU

COME TO JOIN
THE FIRST MICHIGAN?

WELL, I COULDN'T SPELL
CONNECTICUTA--CONNECTICUT.

WELL, IT SPEAKS
FOR ITSELF, EH, WHAT?

BUT, SIR, YOU ASKED
ABOUT THE SONG.

THE SONG, SIR,
THE NAME IS GARRYOWEN,

AND THE FIFTH ROYAL
LANCERS RATHER FANCIED IT

BECAUSE IT GOES
JOLLY WELL ON A HORSE!

[PLAYS]

I'D LIKE TO LEARN
THAT SONG, SIR.

WELL, I'M THE LAD
TO TEACH YOU.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS,
TOGETHER NOW.

♪ IN PLACE OF WATER,
WE'LL DRINK ALE ♪

♪ AND PAY NO RECKONING
ON THE NAIL ♪

♪ NO MAN FOR DEBT
SHALL GO TO JAIL ♪

OH, GOOD DAY,
MR. BACON.

OH, GOOD DAY,
MR. CARTWRIGHT.

I HARDLY EXPECTED TO MEET
YOU IN THIS PART OF TOWN.

UH, I'M DOWN HERE
COLLECTING THE RENT.

WHENEVER IT FALLS DUE,

I--I WISH MY FAMILY HAD
NEVER ACQUIRED THE PROPERTY.

UH, BUT WHEN
THE LEASE IS UP,

I INTEND TO SEE
THAT THE NEW TENANT

PUTS IT TO A BETTER USE.

THAT IS A CONSUMMATION
DEVOUTLY TO BE WISHED.

IT'S A BLOT UPON THE
FACE OF OUR COMMUNITY.

YES, YES, YES.

WELL, GOOD DAY,
MR. BACON.

GOOD DAY.

♪ AND PAY NO RECKONING
ON THE NAIL ♪

♪ NO MAN FOR DEBT
SHALL GO TO JAIL ♪

♪ IF HE FROM
GARRYOWEN HAIL... ♪

YOU!

TELL MR. SULLIVAN I WISH
TO SEE HIM ON BUSINESS.

FIND HIM YOURSELF.
I'M BUSY.

HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS ME
WITH SUCH INSOLENCE?

I'M HERE TO COLLECT
THE RENT.

♪ IF HE FROM
GARRYOWEN HAIL... ♪

[TAPS]

BE QUIET,
YOU DRUNKEN RIFFRAFF.

RIFFRAFF?

I'LL ADVISE YOU

TO BE MORE CAREFUL
OF YOUR WORDS, SIR.

AND I'D ADVISE YOU, SIR,

TO BE MORE CAREFUL
OF YOUR UNIFORM...

BRINGING DISGRACE ON IT
WITH THIS DRUNKEN BEHAVIOR!

WHAT? DRUNKEN?

WHY, YOU...

YOU FAT
LITTLE PIPSQUEAK!

THIS GENTLEMAN'S
A SOLDIER, SIR.

HE STANDS UP IN BATTLE
AND GETS SHOT AT

SO THAT SANCTIMONIOUS
LITTLE SKINFLINTS LIKE YOU

CAN RUN AROUND TOWN
IN SAFETY

DOING BUSINESS AS USUAL,
AND IF HE WANTS

TO GET DRUNK
WHILE HE'S ON LEAVE,

WHAT BUSINESS IS IT
OF YOURS?

HEAR! HEAR! THAT'S
TELLING THE OLD BLIGHTER

WHERE HE GETS OFF,
EH, WHAT?

AND IF YOU DON'T
LIKE OUR SOCIETY,

WHY DO YOU BARGE IN ON IT?

I'M HERE, SIR,

BECAUSE I PREFER TO COLLECT
THE RENT OF THIS--

THIS ESTABLISHMENT
PERSONALLY,

RATHER THAN EXPOSE MY CLERKS
TO SUCH AN ATMOSPHERE OF--

OF DEGRADING DEBAUCHERY!

[WHISTLES]

DEGRADING DEBAUCHERY?

THE CHAP'S QUITE
AN ORATOR, WHAT?

YOUR CONDUCT IS ONLY
WHAT I WOULD EXPECT

FROM A FOREIGNER.
BUT AS FOR YOU, SIR,

YOU'RE A DISGRACE
TO THE UNION ARMY!

DRUM HIM OUT,
QUEEN'S OWN!

♪ DUN, DUN,
TA DUN ♪

HUH!

♪ DUN TA DUN
LU LU LU ♪

♪ BUM BUM
BUM BUM ♪

DO I HAVE TO DRINK
THE TEA EVERY TIME?

IF YOU WANT THE
FORTUNE TO COME TRUE.

THAT'S THE FOURTH
TIME TODAY

I DONE READ THE TEA LEAVES
FOR YOU, MISS LIBBY.

YOU KEEP ON DRINKIN'
TEA LIKE THAT,

AND YOU'RE GOING TO TURN
AS YELLOW AS A CANARY.

OH.

ONIONS.

ONE...

2...

3.

THERE.

I MADE MY WISH.

YOU GOING TO GET
THAT WISH ALL WORE OUT

BEFORE IT COMES TRUE.

HERE WE IS, YOU AND ME,

ASKIN' OUR FORTUNE
FROM THE TEA,

LOOK IN THE CUP
AND I'LL SEE...

WHAT I SEE!

NOW, NOW,
WHAT'S THIS I SEE?

WHAT'S THIS?

APPEARS TO BE LIKE A BIRD.

YES, MA'AM.

HERE'S HIS WINGS
SPREADIN' OUT.

HE'S FLYIN' THIS WAY.

OH, YES, CALLIE,
I CAN SEE IT'S A BIRD,

BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

IT'S A MESSAGE COMIN'
STRAIGHT TO YOU.

FROM HIM?

GIMME TIME,
MISS LIBBY, GIMME TIME.

HMM, WHAT'S THAT
TALL AND STRAIGHT

WALKIN'
BESIDE THE BIRD?

OH, LET ME SEE!

DON'T TOUCH IT,
MISS LIBBY, DON'T TOUCH IT.

YOU'LL SPOIL THE SPELL.

WHY, I DECLARE,
IT'S A MAN.

NOW, WHAT'S HE DOIN'?

HE'S PULLIN' ON SOMETHIN'
WITH HIS LEFT HAND.

NOW, WHAT CAN THAT BE?

A HORSE.
HE'S IN THE CAVALRY.

NO, 'TAIN'T A HORSE.

'TAIN'T A GUN.

IT'S--IT'S--

NO, 'TAIN'T A SWORD,
NEITHER.

OH, CALLIE!

I'S GOT IT!
I'S GOT IT!

WHAT?

IT'S A DOORBELL!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[GLASS SHATTERS]

SOMEBODY'S GOT
TO ANSWER THE DOOR.

AND THAT SOMEBODY
AIN'T ME.

THAT'S MAGIC,
THAT BELL.

OH, NONSENSE, CALLIE.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

[RING]

GO ON, CALLIE,
ANSWER IT.

[RING]

GO ON.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

OH, FEET, KEEP ME
FROM SLIPPING DOWN.

GET MY RABBIT'S FOOT!

BROTHER RABBIT,
WORK YOUR CHARM.

KEEP THIS CHILD
AWAY FROM HARM.

AIN'T GOT TIME
TO KNEEL AND PRAY.

DON'T YOU LET ME
DOWN TODAY.

[RING]

HERE HE IS, MISS
LIBBY, HERE HE IS.

JUST LIKE THE DEAD
RIDIN' UP AND SAYIN' HOWDY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, MISS LIBBY?

YOU DONE GOT YOUR WISH,
AND YOU'RE STANDIN' THERE

JUST LIKE YOUR FEET
IS GLUED IN MOLASSES.

PLEASE, CALLIE.

THIS--THIS GENTLEMAN,
MISTER, UH--MISTER...

WHY, CUSTER, MA'AM.

MR. CUSTER HASN'T STATED
WHAT HE'S HERE FOR.

I HAVE A LETTER OF
INTRODUCTION, MA'AM,

FOR YOUR FATHER FROM
GENERAL SHERIDAN.

MY FATHER WILL BE
HOME PRESENTLY.

AND AN APOLOGY
FOR YOU.

ISN'T IT A LITTLE LATE?

A LITTLE LATE?

3:00 ON A BRIGHT,
SHINY AFTERNOON?

NOW, DON'T YOU GO GETTIN'
UPPITY, MISS LIBBY,

'CAUSE THE TEA LEAVES,
THEY NEVER FORGETS

AND THEY NEVER FORGIVE.

IF YOU'D CARE TO WAIT
FOR MY FATHER,

I'LL SHOW YOU INTO
THE DRAWING ROOM.

BUT, MISS BACON...

IT WAS REALLY YOU
I CAME TO SEE.

BUT WHY?

BECAUSE, MA'AM...

I CAN'T IMAGINE
ANYTHING WORSE, MA'AM,

THAN WALKING THROUGH
LIFE WITHOUT YOU.

NOW DON'T PROPOSE YOU COME
STROLLING BY HERE AT 9:00

AND FIND ME SITTING
ON THE PORCH AGAIN.

I'M SORRY, MA'AM.

WON'T YOU FORGIVE ME?
IT REALLY WASN'T MY FAULT.

AND I'M NOT REALLY ANGRY.

I JUST THOUGHT
I SHOULD PRETEND TO BE.

I KNEW WHEN
YOU DIDN'T COME BACK

THAT YOU HAD A GOOD REASON.

OH, YES. YOU SEE, I HAD
TO REPORT TO WASHINGTON,

AND I BARELY HAD TIME
TO CATCH THE TRAIN.

AND A TRAIN WON'T WAIT,
BUT A WOMAN WILL.

THANK YOU, MA'AM.

I WAS HOPING YOU'D
SAY THAT, MA'AM.

TELL ME, UH...

HAVE YOU ALWAYS LIVED
IN THIS BIG HOUSE?

YES. WHY?

OH, NOTHING, EXCEPT
I REMEMBER IT WELL.

I USED TO RIDE
BY HERE OFTEN

WHEN I WAS
A LITTLE FELLOW

ON MY WAY
TO GO SWIMMING.

I REMEMBER THERE WAS

A SASSY LITTLE BRAT
OF A GIRL

WHO USED TO HANG
ON THE GATE OUTSIDE

AND STICK HER TONGUE
OUT AT ME.

I THINK I PULLED HER
PIGTAILS FOR HER ONCE.

WAS IT YOU WHO
PULLED MY PIGTAILS?

WAS IT YOU
WHO OWNED THEM?

OH, DEAR.

WHAT IS IT?

I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN
SMELL THOSE ONIONS

ALL THE WAY FROM
THE KITCHEN, BUT...

ONIONS?

ONIONS?

THAT'S FUNNY.
I DON'T SMELL THEM.

DON'T YOU
LIKE ONIONS?

OH, I--I LOVE THEM!

I JUST THOUGHT THAT MAYBE
YOU DIDN'T LIKE THEM.

OH, NO. NO,
I'M VERY FOND OF THEM.

UH, CALLIE, WILL YOU GO
INTO THE KITCHEN, PLEASE,

AND BRING US BACK SOME
OF THOSE NICE

YOUNG
GREEN SPRING ONIONS?

ONIONS?

YES, CALLIE, ONIONS.
YOU KNOW I SIMPLY LOVE THEM.

I KNOWS WHAT YOU LOVE,
HONEY. IT AIN'T ONIONS.

OH...PARDON ME.

I DIDN'T MEAN
TO TOUCH YOUR HAND.

IT'S CERTAINLY
A PLEASURE, MA'AM,

TO FIND SOMEBODY

WHO APPRECIATES ONIONS
THE WAY YOU DO.

I WAS READING THE OTHER
DAY WHERE MARSHAL MURAT

USED TO DEMOLISH

PRACTICALLY A WHOLE
PLATEFUL FOR BREAKFAST.

OH. OH, PLEASE,
I'LL TAKE THAT ONE.

LOOK, HERE'S A MUCH
BETTER ONE FOR YOU.

SEE THE FINE, LONG GRAIN
IN THAT ONE?

GOOD SMELL TO IT, TOO.

TRY IT. THAT'LL HAVE
A BITE TO IT.

SO I SAID TO THE
GENERAL, "ALL I WANT,

SIR, IS 2 THINGS:
A WEEK'S LEAVE

AND A LETTER OF INTRODUCTION
TO YOUR FATHER."

NOW...

WHEN YOU SEE FATHER,

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO...
IS SAY TO HIM,

"MAY I COME BACK TONIGHT
AND CALL ON LIBBY?"

NO, YOU BETTER SAY
"MISS BACON" AT FIRST.

YES, THAT'D BE BETTER.

AND WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T BE AFRAID OF HIM.

AFRAID?

YOU'RE TALKING
TO A SOLDIER, MA'AM.

WHY, YOU'S BACK EARLY,
MISTER B.

YES, I AM.

OH, HERE COMES FATHER NOW.

HE'S REALLY A DARLING,
THOUGH HE LOOKS SEVERE,

SO--SO JUST SPEAK UP.

I WILL, MA'AM.

FATHER, DEAR,
I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU.

MY DEAR.

I WANT YOU TO MEET
LIEUTENANT CUSTER.

LIEUTENANT CUSTER?

YES. HE HAS A LETTER
FROM UNCLE PHIL SHERIDAN.

GENERAL SHERIDAN!
OH, THIS MUST BE IMPORTANT.

HOW DID THIS FELLOW
GET INTO MY HOUSE?!

WHY, FATHER, HE HAS A LETTER
FROM UNCLE PHIL.

SO I'M A FAT LITTLE
PIPSQUEAK, AM I?

I'M A SANCTIMONIOUS
OLD SKINFLINT, AM I?

BUT, FATHER--

YOU HOLD
YOUR TONGUE, LIBBY!

HOW DARE YOU COME FROM
THAT DEN OF INIQUITY,

THAT HAUNT OF DEBAUCHERY,

TO POLLUTE THE AIR
OF A GENTLEMAN'S HOME!

I'M SORRY, SIR,

BUT IF YOU'LL ALLOW
ME TO EXPLAIN, I--

THERE CAN BE NO EXPLANATION

FOR YOUR ROWDY,
INSULTING CONDUCT!

CERTAINLY NONE
THAT'S FIT FOR THE EARS

OF MY INNOCENT DAUGHTER!

BUT, SIR, I HAVE A LETTER
HERE OF INTRODUCTION

FROM GENERAL SHERIDAN.

IF YOU HAD A LETTER FROM THE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES,

YOUR PRESENCE HERE
WOULD BE EQUALLY OFFENSIVE!

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, SIR!
GO ON!

I'LL--I'LL--I'LL SHOW
HIM OUT, MR. BACON.

RIGHT THIS WAY, SIR.
GOOD RIDDANCE.

THE IDEA OF YOU AGGRAVATIN'
QUALITY FOLKS LIKE THEM!

MR. BACON DONE
ORDERED YOU OUT,

AND OUT YOU GOIN'
RIGHT NOW, SIR!

BUT NOT FOR GOOD.
YOU IS COMING BACK.

9:00 AT THE GATE.

BROTHER RABBIT,
WORK YOUR CHARM,

AND KEEP THAT BIG BOY
OUT OF HARM.

LIBBY!

'TAIN'T UNLESS
YOU'S COLOR-BLIND.

WHERE IS SHE?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID--

SHH!

HER PAPA'S HOME WITH HIS SPECIAL
KICKIN'-OUT BOOTS.

MISS LIBBY'S IN HER ROOM
LOCKED IN. COME ON.

WHY, THAT UGLY OLD FOSSIL.
HE CAN'T DO THAT TO HER.

THAT'S WHAT SHE YELLED
WHILE HE TURNED THAT LOCK.

THEY HAD A DIFFERENCE
OF OPINION ABOUT YOU.

NOW SHE'S UPSTAIRS
WITH HER OPINION,

AND HE'S DOWNSTAIRS
WITH HIS.

CAN YA CLIMB?

UP THERE? SURE.
BUT WAIT A MINUTE.

I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE
HER ANY MORE TROUBLE.

WE BETTER
ARRANGE A SIGNAL

IN CASE HE COMES OUT.

I CAN HOOT LIKE AN OWL.

YOU CAN?

HOO HOO!

OH, THAT'S FINE.

GEORGE.

LIBBY.

OH, GEORGE.

ISN'T IT AWFUL?

IT'S WORSE THAN THAT.
JUST WHEN I HAVE

A CHANCE TO SEE YOU,
I GET ORDERS.

WHAT ORDERS?
I MEANT FATHER.

WELL, I MEANT UNCLE SAM.

I'VE GOT TO REJOIN
MY REGIMENT.

OH, NO. WHEN?

TONIGHT.

OH, YOU CAN'T.

YOU'LL BE KILLED.

I WON'T LET YOU!

HOO HOO!

WHO'S OUT HERE?

JUST US OWLS, SIR.

WHO?

JUST ME AND AN OLD
OWL, MR. BACON.

HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING
OF THAT SCOUNDREL?

NO, SIR. I AIN'T SEEN
HIDE NOR HAIR

OF NO SCOUNDREL, SIR.

WELL...
KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.

YES, SIR, THAT'S JUST
WHAT I'M DOING, SIR.

IS HE GONE?

I THINK SO.

OF COURSE, THERE'S
ALWAYS THE CHANCE

HE MAY COME BACK AGAIN.

OH, LIBBY.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

YES, GEORGE.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

WHAT? I SAID
WILL YOU MARRY ME?

WHEN I'M A GENERAL.

OH, LIEUTENANT.

OH, IT'S EASY
TO BECOME A GENERAL.

THEN THAT OLD CRAB--

I MEAN, THAT NICE
OLD FATHER OF YOURS

WILL BE PROUD OF ME,

LIKE TO HAVE ME
IN THE FAMILY.

HE'LL BE WAITING
AT THE STATION

WITH THIS HAT
IN HIS HAND.

YES, GENERAL.

[HOO!]

[HOO! HOO!]

THE OLD OWL.

[HOO!]

HOLY SMOKE!
IT'S YOUR FATHER.

GOOD-BYE.

[HOO!]

[HOO HOO]

[HOO]

WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP
FOR, YOU OLD DEVIL?

[HOOT]

DON'T YOU WINK AT ME.

TAKE AN ORDER, CORPORAL.

COMMANDING OFFICER,
16th OHIO INFANTRY.

YOU'RE REQUIRED TO
REPORT IMMEDIATELY

THE PERCENTAGE OF, UH,
A--METHODISTS,

B--BAPTISTS,

C--OTHER DENOMINATIONS
AMONG RECRUITS,

USING FORM A.G.O. 117
LESS SECTION 12

IN COMPILING THE RETURN.

BY ORDER ET CETERA,
ET CETERA,

AND INITIAL IT,
WILL YOU?

FROM THE COLONEL OF
THE SECOND CAVALRY, SIR.

HE REFUSES TO
SEND BACK YOUR HORSE

UNTIL LIEUTENANT CUSTER'S
RETURN ON THE 20th.

THAT'S TOMORROW, SIR.

OH, HE DOES,
DOES HE?

HONOR AMONG HORSE
THIEVES, I SUPPOSE.

WELL, WE'LL
SEE ABOUT THAT.

TAKE AN ORDER.

LIEUTENANT GEORGE
ARMSTRONG CUSTER,

SECOND CAVALRY.

TAIPE, LEE HAS
GIVEN US THE SLIP.

WE DON'T KNOW
WHERE HE'S HEADING.

PUT EVERY CAVALRY UNIT
IN G.H.Q. IN RESERVE

ON THE REMOVE.

YES, SIR.

TAKE AN ORDER,
SERGEANT.

FORM A.G.O. 21.

NO, USE THE NEW FORM--
A.G.O. 201.

IT ISN'T ISSUED YET.
GET IT FROM SUPPLY.

TAKE CARE OF
HIS DESK, SMITH.

WHAT'S THE MICHIGAN BRIGADE
DOING AT HANOVER?

REFITTING, SIR.

THEY LOST
THEIR COMMANDER

AND HAVEN'T BEEN ASSIGNED
A BRIGADIER YET.

THEN APPOINT ONE.

TAKE THE SENIOR MAN
ON THE LIST OF CAVALRY COLONELS.

I DON'T KNOW WHO
HE IS OFFHAND, SIR.

YOU CAN FIND OUT LATER.
DICTATE AN ORDER NOW.

YES, SIR.

TAKE THIS, CORPORAL.

I'VE BEEN INSTRUCTED
TO INFORM YOU

THAT YOU'VE BEEN PROMOTED TO
THE RANK OF BRIGADIER GENERAL

AS OF THIS DATE.

ON RECEIPT
OF THESE ORDERS,

YOU'LL PROCEED AT ONCE
TO HANOVER

AND ASSUME COMMAND
OF THE MICHIGAN CAVALRY BRIGADE.

GENERAL SCOTT, SIR.
NEWS.

LEE HAS INVADED
PENNSYLVANIA.

HIS PATROLS
ARE NEAR GETTYSBURG.

NEAR GETTYSBURG!

THIS MEANS
A RECONCENTRATION.

COME WITH ME, GENTLEMEN.

WILL YOU SIGN
THIS ORDER, SIR?

COME, TAIPE.
YES, SIR.

GETTYSBURG.

WHERE THE DEUCE
IS GETTYSBURG?

THIS IS YOUR TENT, LIEUTENANT.
I'LL UNPACK YOUR KIT.

YOU'LL FIND
THE OFFICERS' MESS

AT THE END
OF THE ROAD, SIR.

EXCUSE ME, LIEUTENANT.

I REPRESENT GEORGE STRAITH,
LIMITED, MILITARY TAILORS.

WE HAVE THE HONOR
TO SERVE GENERAL GRANT,

GENERAL SHERMAN,
GENERAL SCOTT.

HAVE YOU ANY REQUIREMENTS:
GREAT COAT? BRITCHES?

NO, THANKS.

WE CAN CUT A FINE TUNIC
FOR A FIGURE LIKE YOURS.

THERE'S ANY IDEAS
THAT YOU HAVE OF YOUR OWN,

WE'D BE ONLY TOO GLAD
TO INCORPORATE THEM.

NO, THANKS,
I DON'T NEED ANY.

THERE'S A NEW SHELL JACKET
THAT'S BEING ADMIRED,

PARTICULARLY
BY THE LADIES.

WHY DON'T YOU SHUT UP
AND LEAVE ME ALONE?

I CAN SEE YOU'RE
OUT OF SORTS, LIEUTENANT.

BUT IF YOU'D--

SHUT UP AND GET OUT!

WELCOME BACK, GENERAL.

HELLO, GENERAL.

GENERAL? I'LL HAVE
YOU KNOW, GENTLEMEN,

I'M IN NO MOOD
FOR HUMOR.

GOOD AFTERNOON, GENERAL.

ORDERLY, I'D LIKE
A LITTLE COFFEE, PLEASE.

CONGRATULATIONS,
GENERAL.

NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH
OF THIS FOOLING.

THE NEXT MAN
WHO CALLS ME GENERAL

IS GOING TO FIND OUT
THERE'S A LIMIT TO--

FOR GENERAL CUSTER.

[LAUGHTER]

SHARP, I'LL TAKE THIS
FROM ANYONE BUT YOU.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE.
WE'RE NOT BEING FUNNY.

THE LORD KNOWS HOW OR WHY,
BUT YOU REALLY ARE A GENERAL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

IT'S IN ORDERS,

AND HERE'S A LETTER
FROM HEADQUARTERS ADDRESSED

TO BRIGADIER GENERAL
GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER.

IS THIS SOMEONE'S
IDEA OF A JOKE?

THERE ARE NO JOKES
IN ORDERS.

WELL, THIS MAKES
LESS SENSE TO ME

THAN IT DOES TO YOU.

THERE MUST BE
SOME MISTAKE.

THEY DON'T MAKE GENERALS
OUT OF SHAVE-TAILS.

I'D ASK FOR VERIFICATION
IF I WERE YOU.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAPPEN
TO BE ME, SHARP.

IF THERE ARE 4 REGIMENTS
OF CAVALRY

WAITING FOR
A GENERAL NAMED CUSTER,

THEN THEY'VE GOT HIM.

HEY!

OH, HEY! TAILOR!

HEY! TAILOR!
COME HERE!

[LAUGHTER]

YESTERDAY THERE WAS
HEAVY FIGHTING

ABOUT 20 MILES
FROM HERE.

NOW, OUR ARMY HAS BEEN
DRIVEN OUT OF GETTYSBURG

AND NOW OCCUPIES A RIDGE
BELOW THE TOWN.

THE BRIGADE'S ORDERS

ARE TO CONCENTRATE
BELOW THIS HILL,

MARKED "BIG ROUND TOP"
ON THE MAP.

THAT MEANS JEB STUART'S
MOVING TO FLANK US

FROM THE SOUTH.

UNDOUBTEDLY.

AS SENIOR COLONEL,
I'LL ASSUME COMMAND

IF THIS NEW BRIGADIER

HASN'T ARRIVED
BY THE TIME WE MOVE.

JUST WHO THIS CUSTER IS
AND WHY HE'S NOT HERE YET

I DON'T PROFESS TO KNOW.

Orderly: TURN OUT THE GUARD!
COMMANDING OFFICER!

WE'LL GET
A CHANCE TO SEE

WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE NOW.

JUDAS PRIEST,
WHAT'S THAT?

HE'S GOT
MORE GOLD BRAID ON HIM

THAN A FRENCH ADMIRAL.

GENTLEMEN, WE MIGHT AS WELL

REACH AN UNDERSTANDING
AT FIRST SIGHT.

AFTER SEEING YOUR COLUMNS
AND YOUR TRANSPORTS,

I'M HERE TO TELL YOU

THAT THIS BRIGADE IS THROUGH
WITH INEFFICIENCY

AS OF TODAY.

IT'S GOING TO LEARN
THE MEANING OF SMARTNESS

AND THAT AN ORDER
IS SOMETHING TO BE OBEYED.

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

YES, SIR.

WE'RE READY TO MOVE, SIR.

BRIGADE'S ORDERED
TO CONCENTRATE ON ROUND TOP,

JUST SOUTH OF GETTYSBURG.

[GUNFIRE]

WHAT'S THAT?

PROBABLY SOME ENEMY PATROL
RAIDING THE SUPPLY COLUMN.

LEE'S IN GETTYSBURG,

AND STUART'S CAVALRY'S
IN THE SOUTH.

REJOIN YOUR UNITS,
GENTLEMEN.

BE PREPARED TO MOVE
IN 10 MINUTES

WITH COLUMNS HEADED EAST.

EAST?
WHAT?

BUT THE ORDERS, SIR.

TO THE DEVIL
WITH THE ORDERS!

WE'LL RIDE TO THE
SOUND OF THE GUNS.

THINGS LOOK BETTER NOW

WITH CEMETERY
BACK IN OUR HANDS

AND SICKLES' FRONT
RESTORED, BUT, UH...

YESTERDAY WE LOST
20,000 MEN.

PICKETT'S MOVED UP
TO REINFORCE LONGSTREET.

THEY'RE MASSING
TO ATTACK OUR CENTER.

I'M NOT WORRIED
ABOUT THE CENTER, TAIPE.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT JEB STUART.

WHY HASN'T HE TRIED
TO TURN THE FLANK AT ROUND TOP?

BECAUSE HE KNOWS
OUR CAVALRY'S

CONCENTRATED THERE
TO STOP HIM.

WHEN DID OUR CAVALRY
EVER STOP JEB STUART?

IF HE TURNS US,
THE POSITION'S LOST.

WASHINGTON AND BALTIMORE
WILL FALL.

HANOVER?

STUART! STUART'S CORPS
AT HANOVER?

IT'S A MISTAKE!

GET VERIFICATION
AT ONCE!

IT HAS BEEN VERIFIED, SIR.

HE'S ON OUR REAR.

WE'RE TRAPPED.

ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN US
AND TOTAL DISASTER

IS THE MICHIGAN BRIGADE,
A HANDFUL OF VOLUNTEERS.

BUT THE MICHIGAN BRIGADE'S
BEEN ORDERED TO ROUND TOP, SIR!

IT'S ON ITS WAY NOW.

THEN STOP IT, TAIPE!
STOP IT!

TELL IT TO HOLD ITS
GROUND TO THE LAST MAN.

WHO'S THE BRIGADIER?

WHY, UH--

WHO IS HE, TAIPE?!

WHY, UH...

CORPORAL SMITH.

CORPORAL SMITH. ALL RIGHT.
AS YOU WERE.

WHO'S THE NEW COMMANDER
OF THE MICHIGAN CAVALRY?

GENERAL CUSTER, SIR.

GENERAL CUSTER, SIR.

CUSTER?
WHAT CUSTER'S THAT?

GEORGE ARMSTRONG
CUSTER.

HERE'S A COPY
OF THE ORDER.

WHAT IS THIS?
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

WELL, WHO IS HE?

HEAVEN HELP US, SIR.

THE MICHIGAN BRIGADE'S
IN THE HANDS

OF THE MOST IRRESPONSIBLE,
INCOMPETENT,

RATTLE-BRAINED
SECOND LIEUTENANT

IN THE UNION ARMY!

7th MICHIGAN,
FORWARD...HO!

TROT!

HO!

GALLOP!

HO!

CHARGE!

[SOUNDING CHARGE]

WE'RE TAKING IMMEDIATE ACTION
AS TO CUSTER, SIR.

THIS CUSTER OF YOURS
IS INSUBORDINATE,

ALL RIGHT.

THANK GOD FOR IT.

HE'S NOT MARCHING
ON ROUND TOP.

HE'S ATTACKING STUART
AT HANOVER!

ATTACKING?! ATTACKING
A WHOLE CORPS?

INSTEAD OF TRYING
TO HOLD HIS GROUND,

THE MAD FOOL'S
ATTACKING!

THAT WAS A GALLANT CHARGE,
MEN, EVEN IF IT FAILED.

SERGEANT, SEE THAT THE WOUNDED
ARE TAKEN CARE OF.

SENIOR COLONEL PRESENTS
HIS COMPLIMENTS, SIR.

THE 5th AND 6th MICHIGAN
ARE FORMED FOR ATTACK.

ARE THERE ANY ORDERS?

WE'LL TRY MORE WEIGHT
THIS TIME.

THE 5th AND 6th
WILL ATTACK TOGETHER.

VERY GOOD, SIR.

WHERE WILL THE GENERAL'S
HEADQUARTERS BE LOCATED?

HEADQUARTERS? IN FRONT OF
THE ATTACKING REGIMENT.

5th AND 6th MICHIGAN,
FORWARD...HO!

[CANNON FIRE]

TROT! HO!

GALLOP! HO!

CHARGE!

[YELLING]

[SOUNDING CHARGE]

THE ORDER IN QUESTION,
GENERAL CUSTER,

BEING ERRONEOUS,
IS HEREBY REVOKED,

AND YOU WILL,
AS OF THIS DATE,

REVERT TO THE RANK
OF SECOND LIEUTENANT.

NEVER MIND THAT, TAIPE.
"CONSECUTIVE ATTACKS

"BY 7th, 6th, 5th
MICHIGAN CAVALRY

"HAVE BEEN REPULSED WITH
HEAVY LOSS NEAR HANOVER.

ENEMY ADVANCE CONTINUES"!

3 REGIMENTS THROWN AWAY
BY AN IRRESPONSIBLE FOOL.

3 OUT OF OUR LAST 4!

RIDE, YOU WOLVERINES!

1st MICHIGAN, CHARGE!

[SOUNDING CHARGE]

[MEN SHOUTING]

[SOUNDING CHARGE]

[YELLING]

[TELEGRAPH CLICKING
MORSE CODE]

WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS IT?

READ IT TO ME, MAN!

"STUART RETIRING IN
DISORDER AFTER ASSAULT

"BY 1st MICHIGAN
CAVALRY.

ENEMY ABANDONING GUNS."

AND NOW, GENTLEMEN...

IF MEADE CAN HOLD
THE RIDGE AT GETTYSBURG,

BY GOD'S GRACE,
THE UNION WILL BE SAVED.

GENERAL...

ABOUT THIS
CUSTER MATTER...

WHAT DO YOU
PROPOSE TO DO?

DO? DO, TAIPE?

OH, YES. CUSTER.

I INTEND TO WALK
ACROSS THE STREET

AND BUY MYSELF A DOUBLE PORTION
OF CREAMED BERMUDA ONIONS.

[LAUGHTER]

[MARCHING BAND PLAYING]

HELLO, CHARLES,
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

WELCOME. WELCOME.

WELCOME HOME, GENERAL.
WELCOME HOME.

WE'RE PROUD
OF YOU, SIR,

AND PROUD TO KNOW
THAT ONE OF OUR TOWNSMEN

HAS WON SUCH GLORY.

YOU'RE A CREDIT
TO MONROE, SIR,

AND TO
THE UNITED STATES ARMY.

THANK YOU, SIR.

NOW, THE PARADE WILL
FORM ON ELM STREET.

WE WILL TURN INTO "D" STREET,
CROSS THE PARKWAY,

AND THEN MARCH RIGHT UP
MAIN STREET.

KINDLY STAY
ON THE SIDEWALKS.

THOSE OF YOU WHO WISH
TO MARCH WITH US...

FALL IN AFTER THE COMMITTEE
HAS PASSED.

THE BAND WILL LEAD
THE PARADE,

FOLLOWED BY MYSELF
AND GENERAL--

LIBBY.

AREN'T YOU FORGETTING
YOURSELF?

IT'S QUITE ALL RIGHT,
MR. BACON.

EVERYTHING'S ALL RIGHT.
VERY PROPER. WE'RE ENGAGED.

WELL...SPLENDID.
SPLENDID.

AND WE'RE GOING
TO BE MARRIED.

TODAY. I BROUGHT MY
REGIMENTAL CHAPLAIN,

AND GENERAL SHERIDAN
HIMSELF IS GONNA BE

BEST MAN, SIR--

THAT IS, OF COURSE,
WITH YOUR PERMISSION.

MY PERMISSION?

WELL, NOW, UH,
OF COURSE, GENERAL,

I SHALL BE HONORED
TO GIVE IT,

BUT YOU MUSTN'T
BE TOO IMPETUOUS.

AFTER ALL,
THERE'S THE ANNOUNCEMENT,

THE ARRANGEMENT.

IF YOU GET MARRIED TODAY,
YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF THESE.

BUT I SHALL HAVE GENERAL
GEORGE ARMSTRONG CUSTER,

AND HE'S WHAT
I STARTED OUT TO GET.

LIBBY, THIS IS
POSITIVELY UNMAIDENLY.

AFTER TODAY,
THAT WON'T MATTER.

[ORGAN PLAYS
THE WEDDING MARCH]

WHERE DID MISS LIBBY
GET HERSELF

SUCH A FINE
HANDSOME MAN?

WHY, CHILD,
I FOUND HIM IN A TEACUP.

THERE'S 2 GENTLEMEN
TO SEE GENERAL CUSTER,

MISS LIBBY,

AND THEY CLAIM
THEIR NAME'S SHARP.

THANK YOU, JANE.

YOU MUST LET CALLIE
ATTEND TO THE CALLERS.

YES, MA'AM.

CALLIE, HAS GENERAL CUSTER
RETURNED HOME YET?

NO, MA'AM,
NOT SINCE HE LEFT

AT HIS USUAL TIME
THIS MORNING.

THEN I'LL RECEIVE
THE CALLERS IN HERE.

TELL THEM THE GENERAL'S
EXPECTED HOME SOON.

YES, MA'AM.
I'LL TELL 'EM

HE'S DOWNTOWN TAKING CARE
OF SOME BUSINESS.

I DON'T HOLD WITH YOU,
MAJOR SMITH.

I DON'T HOLD WITH YOU
AT ALL, SIR.

MMM. AHH!

IF LEE HAD CONCENTRATED
HIS ARTILLERY

AND SUCCEEDED IN, UH...
ENFILADING ROUND TOP,

WE WOULD HAVE BEEN
LICKED TO DEATH

AT GETTYSBURG.

WHY DIDN'T HE,
GENERAL?

WELL, WHO KNOWS?

EVERY GREAT SOLDIER
HAS A BAD DAY,

AND PERHAPS IT WAS LEE'S
TURN AT GETTYSBURG.

UH-OH.

WELL...HE WHO DRINKS
AND RUNS AWAY

LIVES TO DRINK
ANOTHER DAY.

THANK YOU, JOE.
STEP UP TO THE BAR, BOYS.

MY PLEASURE.

SET 'EM UP, JOE.

MR. SHARP, THE MONEY
DOESN'T MATTER,

BUT WHAT YOU OFFER

IS THE ANSWER
TO A PRAYER.

I'D ALMOST
GIVEN UP HOPE

OF GEORGE'S
EVER FINDING

ANYTHING SUITED TO
HIM IN CIVIL LIFE.

WE KNOW OF NO ONE ELSE
SO WELL-QUALIFIED,

MRS. CUSTER.

OH! SO YOU'RE
HERE AT LAST.

I'M AFRAID I'VE BEEN
BORING THESE GENTLEMEN

DREADFULLY.

WELL, THEY'LL GET
NO SYMPATHY FROM ME,

DARLING.

MADAM, UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON,

I'D ENVIED GENERAL CUSTER
ONLY HIS FAME.

OH, MR. SHARP.

BUT YOU'LL EXCUSE ME.
I--I HAVE SOME FLOWERS

I MUST CUT
IN THE GARDEN.

I HOPE YOU'LL FORGIVE
THIS INTRUSION, CUSTER.

THE NORTH AND THE SOUTH

HAVE FORGOTTEN
THEIR DIFFICULTIES,

SO...I HOPE WE CAN
FORGET OURS.

MAY I PRESENT MY FATHER
WILLIAM SHARP.

GENERAL CUSTER.

HOW DO YOU DO, SIR?

HOW DO YOU DO?

OH, DO YOU KNOW,
SIR, I WAS JOKING

WITH THE ADJUTANT GENERAL
ABOUT YOU LAST WEEK.

OH. TAIPE?

YES, TAIPE.

YOU STOLE HIS HORSE
ON ONE OCCASION, IT SEEMS.

THAT'S RIGHT.
A FINE ANIMAL.

MUCH TOO GOOD
FOR HIM. DRINK?

YES. THANK YOU.
WE'VE COME FROM WASHINGTON

ESPECIALLY TO SEE YOU,
GENERAL.

INDEED? WHY?

BECAUSE THERE'S MONEY
IN FAME THESE DAYS.

WE'VE COME TO OFFER YOU
THE PRESIDENCY

OF THE WESTERN RAILROAD
LAND AND TRADING COMPANY

AT A SALARY
OF $10,000 A YEAR.

IT'S A CORPORATION
I ORGANIZED

FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF
THE DAKOTA TERRITORIES.

BUT, UH, WHAT USE
COULD I BE

TO A CONCERN
OF THAT KIND?

I'M A SOLDIER.

WELL, YOU'RE
A NATIONAL HERO, CUSTER.

YOUR NAME WOULD
MAKE IT EASY FOR US

TO GET, UH,
GOVERNMENT CONCESSIONS,

SUCH AS
TRADING MONOPOLIES

AT ARMY POSTS.
AND, OF COURSE,

IT WOULD GO FAR IN SELLING
STOCK TO THE PUBLIC.

MY NAME?

I SEE.

WHAT'S THIS STOCK WORTH?

NOTHING, NATURALLY,

UNTIL IT BEGINS
TO EARN DIVIDENDS.

THEN I'M NOT INTERESTED.

MY NAME STANDS
FOR SOMETHING,

AND I'LL NOT GAMBLE
WHAT IT MEANS

ON THE SUCCESS OR FAILURE
OF ANY BUSINESS VENTURE.

NOT INTERESTED.

GENERAL, I'M AFRAID
YOU'VE AN INCLINATION

TO BE A...ROMANTIC FOOL.

AN ADMIRABLE ONE,
NO DOUBT,

BUT, UH,
NONETHELESS A FOOL.

CAN A MAN
OF YOUR DISTINCTION

BEAR THE THOUGHT OF LIVING
OFF HIS WIFE'S ESTATE?

I KNOW THE THOUGHT
HASN'T OCCURRED TO YOU,

GENERAL, BUT--

IT'S OCCURRED TO ME.

WE'RE OFFERING YOU

A CHANCE TO
SERVE THE NATION

AS MUCH AS
ON THE BATTLEFIELD.

THE COMPANY WILL
BRING CIVILIZATION

TO AN ENORMOUS
WASTE OF TERRITORY,

WHICH IS, AT PRESENT,

IN THE HANDS OF
BLOODTHIRSTY SAVAGES.

WHY, IT'S AS FINE A--

THAT'S ENOUGH!

I'LL GAMBLE.
I'LL GAMBLE WITH ANYTHING--

MY MONEY, MY SWORD,
MY LIFE, IF NECESSARY--

BUT THERE'S ONE THING
I WON'T GAMBLE WITH,

AND THAT'S MY GOOD NAME.

GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN!

YOU'RE EXCITED, GENERAL.
NOW--

IT'S NOT AN OFFER
THAT COMES TWICE--

NO. ONCE IS ENOUGH.

QUITE ENOUGH.

GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.

WHAT DID THE SHARPS
WANT OF YOU, GEORGE?

ONLY MY NAME,
FOR A STOCK PROMOTION.

ONLY YOUR NAME?

YES. THEY WANTED TO HIRE
IT FOR $10,000 A YEAR.

IT'S A LOT OF MONEY,

BUT WE'VE 5 DOGS
AND 11 HORSES NOW.

WHAT COULD WE HAVE
DONE WITH IT?

WELL, THINK OF ALL
THE BAGS OF ONIONS

WE COULD HAVE BOUGHT.

TO KEEP ME AWAY FROM YOU,
I SUPPOSE.

AREN'T YOU HAPPY HERE,
MR. CUSTER?

MRS. CUSTER...I'VE NEVER
BEEN SO HAPPY IN MY LIFE.

Orderly: MRS. CUSTER, SIR.

GENERAL SHERIDAN SHOULD
HAVE WARNED ME, MA'AM.

OH, I THOUGHT UNCLE PHIL
HAD ADVISED YOU THAT--

OH, HE ADVISED ME
OF YOUR COMING,

BUT HE DIDN'T WARN ME
THAT I WOULD MEET

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL
I EVER LAID EYES ON.

OH! YOU'RE VERY KIND,
GENERAL SCOTT,

AND VERY EMBARRASSING.

UPON MY SOUL, MA'AM,

YOU MAKE ME REGRET
THIS UNCHIVALROUS AGE.

IF EVER A LADY'S HAND
DESERVED TO BE SALUTED,

IT IS CERTAINLY YOURS.

FORGIVE AN OLD SOLDIER.

IT WAS A CUSTOM
IN HIS YOUTH.

DID UNCLE PHIL TELL YOU
THE PURPOSE OF MY COMING,

GENERAL SCOTT?

NO. HE SAID
IT WAS A MATTER

FOR MY DECISION,
IN ANY EVENT.

IT'S ABOUT MY HUSBAND.

OF COURSE. CUSTER.

I SHOULD HAVE ASKED YOU,
HOW IS THE LUCKY DOG?

NOT SO LUCKY,
I'M AFRAID.

OH, WELL, THAT'S BAD.

IS HE IN ILL HEALTH?

NOT EXACTLY,
GENERAL SCOTT,

BUT INACTIVITY IS DOING
SOMETHING TO HIM,

UNDERMINING HIM.

GEORGE WILL NEVER BE
HIMSELF OUT OF THE ARMY.

HE'S NOT HAPPY...

EVEN THOUGH
HE PRETENDS TO BE.

OH, GENERAL SCOTT,

CAN'T YOU PUT HIM BACK
INTO ACTIVE SERVICE?

MY DEAR, I KNOW
WHAT EATS A MAN

WHO HAS ENDURED
THE TENSION OF WAR

FOR YEARS.

IT'S LIKE A DRUG,
THAT TENSION.

A MAN CAN'T LIVE
WITHOUT IT.

OH, PLEASE,
GENERAL SCOTT.

PLEASE.

MRS. CUSTER, I'M BOUND
BY THE RULE OF SENIORITY

IN MAKING APPOINTMENTS,
THE RULE OF THE ARMY.

OH!

OH, COME, COME,
MY CHILD.

YOU'RE UNDULY DISTRESSED
ABOUT GEORGE.

TIME IS A HEALER.
TIME WILL CURE HIM.

NO, NO.
IT WILL DESTROY HIM.

THERE'S SOMETHING
YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME.

ISN'T THERE?

IT'S VERY DIFFICULT
FOR ME TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT I'M AFRAID,
SO AFRAID.

HE'S BEEN DRINKING,

SO MUCH...MUCH MORE
THAN HE KNOWS.

OH...

I SEE.

I CAN'T BEAR TO THINK
OF HIM IN DEGRADATION.

OH, GENERAL SCOTT,

YOU'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING TO SAVE HIM.

WE OWE HIM SO MUCH.

ALL OF US.

THERE, THERE, MY DEAR.

YOU'RE QUITE RIGHT.

WE DO OWE HIM A LOT.

OH...

George: YES, SIR,
THAT IS A HANDSOME PIECE.

Libby: UNCLE PHIL WAS JUST
SENDING THE WATCH TO YOU

WHEN I POPPED IN ON HIM.

THE BRIGADE ASKED HIM
TO CHOOSE IT.

HUH. THOSE ARE GREAT BOYS.

GREAT DAYS.

AND THE LITTLE MINIATURE
OF YOU IS BEAUTIFUL.

THE CHAIN BELONGED
TO FATHER.

I ALWAYS WANTED YOU
TO HAVE IT.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

HERE'S YOUR MORNIN' MAIL,
GENERAL.

THANK YOU.

WELL, THAT MUST HAVE BEEN
A DULL TRIP, DARLING.

IT WASN'T SO DULL.

I HAD A LOT OF SHOPPING
TO DO, YOU KNOW,

AND, OF COURSE,
IT WAS WONDERFUL

TO SEE UNCLE PHIL AGAIN.

I MISSED YOU.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS
THIS MORNIN', GENERAL,

BOILED OR FRIED?

WHAT?

I SAID HOW DO YOU
LIKE YOUR EGGS,

BOILED OR FRIED?

EGGS?! SURE!

EGGS! BOILED AND FRIED!

AND SCRAMBLED AND POACHED
AND RUBBED INTO YOUR HAIR!

THE MAN'S PLUMB CRAZY!

LIBBY! LIBBY, LOOK!

I'M ON THE ACTIVE
LIST AGAIN,

AS A LIEUTENANT COLONEL

TO RAISE A REGIMENT
OF CAVALRY AT FORT LINCOLN.

WHY, IT EVEN SAYS THEY
PASSED UP 50 SENIOR OFFICERS

TO GIVE ME THE JOB!

OH, DARLING,
HOW WONDERFUL!

OH, I'M
SO GLAD FOR YOU!

BUT WHERE'S
FORT LINCOLN?

FORT LINCOLN...

IN THE DAKOTA TERRITORY,
I THINK. WAIT A MINUTE!

I'LL GET THE MAP!
SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.

CALLIE...GENERAL CUSTER
AND I ARE GOING AWAY,

SO YOU MUST PACK
THOSE THINGS

I MENTIONED
THIS MORNING.

BUT, MISS LIBBY,

WHAT ABOUT ALL YOUR
LOVELY THINGS:

YOUR CHINA, YOUR SILVER,
AND ALL YOUR PRETTY CLOTHES?

WELL, I'LL HAVE
TO LEAVE THOSE BEHIND.

CALLIE...

I'LL HAVE TO
LEAVE YOU, TOO.

BUT, MISS LIBBY,

AIN'T Y'ALL GONNA HAVE
NOBODY TO FIX FOR YOU

WHILE YOU'RE
AWAY UP THERE?

OH, I'LL GET ALONG,
CALLIE.

WHY, IT'S RIDICULOUS,
MISS LIBBY,

GIVIN' UP YOUR HOME
AND YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

I SURE HOPES THE GENERAL

APPRECIATES WHAT
YOU'RE DOIN' FOR HIM.

FORT LINCOLN...
FORT LINCOLN...

FORT LINCOLN--
HERE IT IS! SEE?

LOOK.

YOU GO BY RAIL
TO BISMARCK...

AND FROM THEN ON,
BY WAGON TRAIL.

MOVE OVER THERE,
SWEETHEART,

BEFORE I CUT THE REST
OF YOUR TAIL OFF.

I BEG YOUR PARDON!

I SAID, MOVE OVER,
YOU DIRTY ETHIOPIAN

SON OF A BLUE-BELLIED
MOHAWK!

YOU MEAN THE HORSE.

STOP THAT, YOU ORNERY,
OWL-FACED FLOOZY,

OR I'LL SPIT
IN YOUR EAR!

[SPITS]

YOU MADE IT!

YEAH. SHUCKS,
THAT AIN'T NOTHING.

I CAN SPIT
IN A PRAIRIE DOG'S EYE

AT 50 FEET.

AIN'T NOBODY
IN THESE PARTS

CAN BEAT CALIFORNIA JOE

WHEN IT--WHEN IT
COMES TO SPITTING.

AND WHO'S CALIFORNIA JOE?

WHO?

HA HA HA HA!
THAT'S ME!

OH! I SEE.

YOU COME
FROM CALIFORNIA.

NO, MA'AM. NO. NO.

WELL, THEN WHY DO THEY
CALL YOU CALIFORNIA JOE?

WHY, I GUESS 'CAUSE I--
[SPITS]

'CAUSE I'VE BEEN AIMING
THERE FOR 27 YEARS,

AND IT LOOKS LIKE
I'LL BE AIMING THERE

FOR 27 MORE YEARS,
WITH THESE INDIANS

ON THE WARPATH
HERE AGAIN.

ARE WE LIKELY
TO SEE ANY TODAY?

NO MORE LIKELY

THAN YOU ARE TO SEE
THEM SOLDIERS

IN THEIR FANCY PANTS
FROM THE FORT.

WELL, HOW'S OLD CALIFORNIA?

HE TAUGHT YA HOW
TO CHEW TOBACCO YET?

NO, BUT HE'S BEEN
TEACHING ME ABOUT INDIANS,

AND LET ME TELL YOU,

HE HAS NO RESPECT
FOR SOLDIERS, SIR.

OH, HE HASN'T, EH?
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?

EVERYTHING THEY DON'T
KNOW IS ABOUT INDIANS.

INDIANS IS TOO IGNORANT
TO FIGHT RIGHT.

THEY--THEY FIGHT WRONG
EVERY TIME.

THAT'S WHY THE SOLDIERS
ALWAYS GET LICKED.

TO LICK A INDIAN,
YOU GOTTA--

YA GOTTA FIGHT 'EM
LIKE A INDIAN.

THERE MIGHT BE
SOMETHING TO THAT.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A JOB
WITH MY OUTFIT?

WHAT--ME?

HA HA! BE A SOLDIER AND
WEAR THEM FANCY PANTS

AND...WASH MY EARS
WITH STORE SOAP

AND SLEEP IN A BED?

HA HA HA HA!
NO...SIR!

MY BUSINESS IS SHOOTING,
NOT SALUTING.

I CAN'T SALUTE, ANYWAY.

I GOT--I GOT RHEUMATISM
IN MY SALUTING ARM. I--

WELL! I'M A DIRTY--LOOK!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT DO YOU SEE?

SKIN YOUR EYEBALLS, SON!

THERE'S A REDSKIN OVER
ON THAT ROCK YONDER!

INDIANS?

ONE, MAYBE 2!

ON YOUR BELLY, MA'AM!

[YELLING ORDERS]

AFTER THEM, MEN!

GEORGE...GEORGE!

COME ON!
GET OUTTA HERE!

NOW...
SIGNAL YOUR PEOPLE,

DRIVE BACK MY HORSES,

OR I'LL HANG YOU
AT THE FORT GATE.

YOU GIVE WORD...
NOT KILL WITH ROPE?

I GIVE WORD.

NOW SIGNAL.

I SPEAK.

[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]

WHY, YOU DIRTY,

MOTH-EATEN, COCKEYED
SON OF A RAT!

IF IT AIN'T
OLD CRAZY HORSE,

CHIEF OF THE SIOUX.
HA HA HA...

WHAT A SHIVAREE
THERE'S GONNA BE

WHEN THEY DRAG YOU
INTO FORT LINCOLN

ON THE END
OF THAT ROPE!

OH, WE'LL TAKE
HIM IN THERE,

LET HIM COOL HIS
HEELS FOR 60 DAYS.

MAYBE HE'LL BE
A GOOD BOY.

TIE HIM UP. PUT HIM
IN THE WAGON.

I TELL YA, SON,

WE BETTER VAMOOSE
OUTTA HERE QUICK

BEFORE
THE REST OF 'EM

COME BACK TO GET
THEIR CHIEF.

I THINK
YOU'RE RIGHT, JOE.

[SPEAKING SIOUX]

CALIFORNIA,
CALIFORNIA...

[SPEAKING
SIOUX]

WHAT DID SHE SAY?

SHE WANTS TO KNOW

IF SHE CAN NAME THAT
PAPOOSE AFTER ME.

OH, HOW CHARMING.

TURN OUT THE GUARD.

GET RID OF THAT CIGAR.

GUARD, TURN OUT!

[BUGLE BLOWS]

WHOA!

LOOK AT THAT GUARD.

FILTHY AS A LOT
OF MOUNTAIN GOATS.

WHY, THEY DON'T
EVEN KNOW HOW TO

STAND TO ATTENTION.

THEY'RE RECRUITS, SIR.

THE REGIMENT'S JUST
BEEN MUSTERED IN.

WE HAVEN'T
A COLONEL YET.

OH, YES, YOU HAVE.
YOU'VE GOT ONE NOW.

WHY AREN'T THERE
ANY PATROLS OUT?

WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING

INSIDE THIS FORT,
ANYWAY, HIDING?

THIS FORT ISN'T HERE
TO PROTECT THE ARMY.

THE ARMY'S SUPPOSED
TO BE OUTSIDE

PROTECTING THE TRAIL.

CRAZY HORSE'S SIOUX
ARE RAIDING, SIR.

WE'VE ORDERS
TO HOLE UP.

OH, YOU HAVE, HAVE YOU?

BRING OUT THAT INDIAN!
I'D LIKE YOU TO SEE,

MR. WHATEVER
YOUR NAME IS,

JUST WHAT'S
BEEN HOLDING UP

A WHOLE REGIMENT
OF U.S. CAVALRY.

Man: CRAZY HORSE! YEAH!
STRING HIM UP!

[MEN SHOUTING]

BACK, BACK,
ALL OF YOU, BACK!

OR I'LL TURN HIM LOOSE
AND LET HIM CHASE YOU!

YOU GIVE WORD, LONG HAIR.

SHOOT NOW. NO ROPE.

I GIVE WORD,
CRAZY HORSE.

I KEEP MY WORD.

TELL OFF A DETAIL.

TAKE HIM
TO THE GUARDHOUSE.

YES, SIR.
YOU 4 MEN,

TAKE CHARGE OF
THE PRISONER.

AND SEE THAT HE'S
WELL TREATED.

YES, SIR.

YOU'LL FIND HEADQUARTERS
STRAIGHT AHEAD, SIR.

[MEN GRUMBLING]

OUT OF THE WAY.

CALIFORNIA, WHAT ARE
ALL THESE INDIANS

DOING INSIDE THE FORT?

AHH...THEY'RE TRADIN'
FOR RIFLES.

RIFLES?

LIBBY, YOU BETTER GO ON.

I'LL BE WITH YOU
IN A FEW MINUTES.

CALIFORNIA, TAKE THE WAGONS
ON TO MY QUARTERS.

SURE.
OH, SAY, SON,

ABOUT THAT JOININ'
THE ARMY,

I CALCULATE I COULD
CHANGE MY MIND

IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO
WEAR THEM FANCY PANTS

AND-AND NO SALUTIN'!

UP, THERE, HOGHEAD.
COME ON!

AROUND ABOUT.

FORWARD.

WHERE'S THE OWNER
OF THIS PLACE?

TELL HIM TO COME OUT.
I WANT TO SEE HIM.

BOSS...

WELL,
LOOK WHO'S HERE.

YOU.

ARE YOU
IN CHARGE HERE?

YEP. GENERAL MANAGER

OF ALL THE COMPANY'S
TRADING STORES.

YOU TURNED DOWN
A GOOD THING, CUSTER.

COLONEL CUSTER
TO YOU, SHARP.

I'M IN COMMAND HERE,

AND DON'T YOU EVER
FORGET IT.

I WANT TO KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE SELLING
RIFLES FOR.

FOR $75 APIECE.

THEY'RE CIVIL WAR SURPLUS

WE BOUGHT FROM
THE GOVERNMENT.

AND YOU'RE SELLING
THEM TO INDIANS?

WHAT ARE THESE INDIANS
DOING INSIDE THE FORT?

OH, THEY'RE, UH,
FRIENDLIES.

FRIENDLIES.

I CERTAINLY HOPE
YOU'RE RIGHT, SHARP.

THESE WINCHESTERS
WILL OUTRANGE

ANY OF OUR
CAVALRY RIFLES,

AND YOU KNOW IT.

[SCUFFLING]

ATTENTION!
COMMANDING OFFICER!

SERGEANT,

THERE'S 2 MEN
BRAWLING OUTSIDE.

HAVE THEM PUT
UNDER ARREST

FOR NOT BEING ABLE
TO HOLD THEIR LIQUOR.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE CAVALRYMEN.

YES, SIR.

AT EASE, MEN.

WELL, COLONEL,

I HOPE YOU LIKE
YOUR RECRUITS.

THEY'RE ABOUT THE WORST
LOT OF RUSTLERS,

GUNMEN, AND OUTCASTS
THAT I'VE EVER SEEN.

THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.

IT SEEMS TO BE
YOUR BUSINESS

TO MAKE THEM WORSE.

NOW, LOOK, SHARP,
I WANT THIS BAR CLOSED.

I WANT IT CLOSED NOW.

THIS BAR IS RUN UNDER
A GOVERNMENT FRANCHISE.

YOU CAN'T CLOSE IT.

SERGEANT...

YES, SIR?

TURN OUT A SQUAD OF MEN
WITH SIDE ARMS.

CLOSE THIS PLACE UP.

[GRUMBLING]

MEN!

THIS BAR IS
A LAWFUL BUSINESS.

THE COMPANY'S GOT ONE
IN EVERY ARMY POST.

NOW, YOU KNOW
YOUR RIGHTS, BOYS.

NOBODY CAN TELL YOU HOW
TO SPEND YOUR PAY, RIGHT?

WAIT A MINUTE,
MEN.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT
WHAT MR. SHARP SAYS

IS PERFECTLY CORRECT.

I HAVE NO LEGAL REASON
TO CLOSE THIS BAR.

NONE WHATSOEVER.

AND I WON'T...

PROVIDING MR. SHARP
DOESN'T MIND

BEING TAKEN BY
THE SCRUFF OF HIS NECK

AND SLUNG CLEAR
THROUGH THAT MIRROR

EVERY TIME
I FIND IT OPEN...

COMMENCING
ONE MINUTE FROM NOW.

CLOSE IT UP.

NOW, LISTEN, MEN,

I'M NOT DOING THIS
TO BE A BLUENOSE.

I KNOW
IT'S TOUGH ON YOU

NOT BEING ABLE
TO TAKE A DRINK.

IT'S TOUGH ON ME, TOO.

HEH, MAYBE IT'S TOUGHER.

BUT THE DAY
I BREAK DOWN AND TAKE ONE,

THAT'S THE DAY THIS BAR'S
GOING TO OPEN AGAIN.

I DON'T ASK ANY MAN
TO STICK TO SOMETHING

I CAN'T STICK TO MYSELF,

AND THAT'S THE WAY
IT'S GONNA BE

IN THIS REGIMENT.

GUN NO WORK.
YOU FIX 'UM.

OH, SAFETY CATCH.
SEE?

HERE.

[GUNSHOT]

[SHOUTING]

[GUNSHOTS]

WELL, PARTNER,
WHAT'D I TELL YA?

THEM DIRTY, LYIN',

CRUMMY, FLEA-BITTEN
FRIENDLIES SET HIM LOOSE.

FRIENDLIES?
ANY INDIAN WITH $75

IS A FRIENDLY
TO SHARP.

SERGEANT!
HAVE A STOP

PUT IMMEDIATELY TO
THAT RIFLE TRADING.

I WANT EVERY INDIAN
PUT OUTSIDE THIS FORT.

VERY WELL, SIR.
YOU,

HAVE THE TRUMPETER
SOUND OFFICERS' CALL.

YES, SIR.

YOU KNOW, JOE,
IN A WAY,

I DON'T MIND THAT
INDIAN GETTING OFF.

HE'S THE ONLY
CAVALRYMAN I'VE SEEN

AROUND THIS FORT SO FAR,

BUT WE'LL
PUT A STOP TO THAT.

[BUGLE BLOWS]

WE'RE RESPONSIBLE
FOR THE PROTECTION

OF 100,000 SQUARE MILES
OF TERRITORY.

AND AGAINST US ARE RANGED

THOUSANDS OF THE FINEST
LIGHT CAVALRY ON EARTH.

I FOUND THAT OUT
THIS MORNING.

IT'S A BIG JOB, GENTLEMEN,

AND IT'S GOING TO NEED
A FINE REGIMENT.

OUR JOB IS TO MAKE THIS
THE FINEST REGIMENT

THAT THE UNITED STATES
EVER SAW.

I NEEDN'T TELL MOST OF YOU
THAT A REGIMENT

IS SOMETHING MORE THAN

JUST 600 DISCIPLINED
FIGHTING MEN.

MEN DIE...

BUT A REGIMENT LIVES ON,

BECAUSE A REGIMENT HAS
AN IMMORTAL SOUL OF ITS OWN.

WELL, THE WAY TO BEGIN
IS TO FIND IT,

TO FIND SOMETHING
THAT BELONGS TO US ALONE,

SOMETHING TO GIVE US
THAT PRIDE IN OURSELVES

THAT'LL MAKE MEN ENDURE,

AND IF NECESSARY,
DIE WITH THEIR BOOTS ON.

AS FOR THE REST,
IT'S EASY,

SINCE IT'S NO MORE THAN
HARD WORK, HARD RIDING,

AND HARD FIGHTING.

THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.

I KNOW I CAN COUNT ON YOU.

MAJOR MEYERS, SIR.

MAJOR, PLEASURE.

MR. COOPER.

COOPER.

CAPTAIN ELLIOT, SIR.
CAPTAIN.

CAPTAIN THOMPSON.
THOMPSON.

BUTLER, SIR.

BUTLER!

"QUEEN'S OWN"
BUTLER.

HOW DID YOU
GET HERE?

BECOME QUITE
A BALLY YANKEE, SIR.

RODE BEHIND YOU
AT HANOVER

AND RATHER FANCIED

I'D SEE A BIT OF SPORT
WITH YOU OUT WEST.

WELL, I HOPE YOU DO.

DO YOU KNOW THAT
YOU'VE HAUNTED ME

EVER SINCE THAT TIME
I MET YOU AT MONROE?

HAUNTED, SIR?

YES. I'VE CURSED YOU
REGULARLY,

EVERY TIME I TRIED

TO THINK OF THAT
CONFOUNDED SONG.

WHAT WAS
THE NAME OF IT?

OH, UH, GARRYOWEN.

GARRYOWEN.

COME ALONG HERE.
PLAY IT FOR US.

EXCUSE ME,
GENTLEMEN.

THIS IS AN
IMPORTANT SONG.

♪

♪ OH, WE CAN DARE
AND WE CAN DO ♪

♪ UNITED MEN
AND BROTHERS TRUE ♪

♪ THEIR GALLANT
FOOTSTEPS TO PURSUE ♪

♪ AND CHANGE
OUR COUNTRY'S STORY ♪

♪ OUR HEARTS SO STOUT
HAVE GOT US FAME ♪

♪ FOR SOON 'TIS KNOWN
FROM WHENCE WE CAME ♪

♪ WHERE'ER WE GO
THEY DREAD THE NAME ♪

♪ OF GARRYOWEN IN GLORY ♪

♪ OUR HEARTS SO STOUT
HAVE GOT US FAME ♪

♪ FOR SOON 'TIS KNOWN
FROM WHENCE WE CAME ♪

♪ WHERE'ER WE GO
THEY DREAD THE NAME ♪

♪ OF GARRYOWEN IN GLORY ♪

♪ AND WHEN THE MIGHTY DAY
COMES ROUND ♪

♪ WE STILL SHALL HEAR
THEIR VOICES SOUND ♪

♪ OUR TRAMP SHALL ROLL
ALONG THE GROUND ♪

♪ FOR GARRYOWEN IN GLORY ♪

♪ TO EMULATE
THEIR HIGH RENOWN ♪

♪ TO STRIKE
OUR FALSE OPPRESSORS DOWN ♪

♪ AND STIR
THE OLD TRIUMPHANT TOWN ♪

♪ WITH GARRYOWEN IN GLORY ♪

♪ TO EMULATE
THEIR HIGH RENOWN ♪

♪ TO STRIKE
OUR FALSE OPPRESSORS DOWN ♪

♪ AND STIR
THE OLD TRIUMPHANT TOWN ♪

♪ WITH GARRYOWEN IN GLORY ♪

[GUNSHOT]

WHAT ARE
THE BLIGHTERS DOING,

PLAYING
RING AROUND THE ROSIE?

THE DIRTY,
MOTH-EATEN...

IT'S A SIGNAL.

THEY'RE WHUPPED.

THE DIRTY BUZZARD EGGS,
THEY'RE WHUPPED!

HA HA HA!

HE WANTS A PEACE POWWOW
WITH LONG HAIR.

LONG HAIR.

CRAZY HORSE.

CRAZY HORSE,
WAR CHIEF SIOUX,

SPEAK WITH LONG HAIR,

WAR CHIEF
GREAT WHITE FATHER.

I LISTEN
TO MY BROTHER.

MY PEOPLE
WANT MAKE PEACE.

THEY'VE LOST MANY BRAVES.
THEY'RE TIRED OF WAR.

THEY WILL GIVE UP
THE PLAINS FOREVER.

THEY WILL GIVE UP
THEIR LODGES

BY THE RUNNING STREAMS.

THEY WILL GIVE UP
THEIR HUNTING GROUNDS

WHERE THE BUFFALO GRAZE.

THEY WILL GIVE ALL UP...
BUT ONE PLACE.

SPEAK.
WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

THEY WILL NOT GIVE UP
THE BLACK HILLS,

FOR THERE THE SPIRITS
OF OUR FATHERS DWELL,

AND THERE THE GODS
HAVE MADE THEIR TEEPEES.

BUT ALL ELSE
THAT IS MY PEOPLE

WE GIVE UP...

BUT BLACK HILLS.

I WILL BEAR
MY BROTHER'S WORDS

TO THE GREAT
WHITE FATHER.

LET LONG HAIR
RETURN WITH WORD

OF GREAT WHITE FATHER

THAT NO WHITE MAN WILL
SET FOOT ON SACRED SOIL,

AND CRAZY HORSE
AND HIS BROTHERS

WILL SMOKE PEACE PIPE
FOREVER.

IF THE GREAT
WHITE FATHER GIVES WORD

TO MY BROTHER'S PEOPLE,

THEN LONG HAIR
AND HIS LONG KNIVES

WILL DEFEND BLACK HILLS
AGAINST ALL WHITE MEN

WHO SEEK TO
PROFANE THEM.

THAT IS THE WORD
OF LONG HAIR.

LONG HAIR'S WORD
GOOD WORD...

BUT THE WORD OF
THE GREAT WHITE FATHER

IS BROKEN WORD.

HEAR ME NOW, LONG HAIR.

IF THIS WORD BROKEN NOW,

NOT ONLY SIOUX BUT
THE CHEYENNE, THE OGLALA,

THE MENICONJOU,
THE BLACKFEET,

THE SANS ARCS,

AND EVERY LIVING TRIBE

BETWEEN MOUNTAINS
AND GREAT WATERS

WILL GATHER
IN ONE LAST BATTLE.

IT WILL BE
THE END OF THEMSELVES,

THEIR GODS, THE SPIRITS
OF THEIR FATHERS,

AND OF THEIR ENEMIES.

CRAZY HORSE SPOKE.

MY BOY, WE'RE HERE

BECAUSE THE COMPANY
IS FACING BANKRUPTCY

ON ACCOUNT OF
THIS IDIOTIC TREATY

WITH THE SIOUX.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TELL ME THAT.

IN THE LAST YEAR,

I'VE OUTFITTED A
HANDFUL OF SETTLERS,

AND FROM 20 STORES.

THERE'LL BE
NO MORE SETTLERS

TILL THE RAILROAD'S
PUSHED ON,

AND THE RAILROAD'S
ONLY ROUTE IS THROUGH

THE BLACK HILLS.

THEY'RE THE GATEWAY
TO THE WEST.

A FEW THOUSAND SAVAGES

HAVE STOPPED THE MARCH
OF AMERICAN CIVILIZATION.

WHY CAN'T YOU DO
SOMETHING ABOUT IT

AT WASHINGTON?

THAT WAS WHY
I BROUGHT INFLUENCE

TO HAVE TAIPE APPOINTED
TO THIS JOB OF, UH,

SPECIAL COMMISSIONER.

WHAT IS THE JOB?

IT'S TO COORDINATE

THE CIVIL AND MILITARY
ADMINISTRATION

OF ALL INDIAN
TERRITORIES.

WHILE HE'S ON THE GROUND,

WE CAN CONSIDER LOCAL
MEANS OF,

UH, UNLOCKING
THE BLACK HILLS' GATE.

WELL, YOU'LL FIND
NONE HERE.

THE 7th CAVALRY
HAS EVERY PASS AND RIVER

COMPLETELY COVERED.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO SNEAK
A SINGLE OUTFIT THROUGH,

AND I HAVE TO KNOW
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

NO DOUBT YOU DO,

BUT YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT SINGLE OUTFITS.

SUPPOSE THERE WERE
THOUSANDS OF THEM?

THOUSANDS?
WHAT WOULD BRING

THOUSANDS OF OUTFITS
TO DAKOTA?

GOLD.

GOLD?
WELL, THERE'S--

THERE'S NO GOLD
IN THE BLACK HILLS.

WHO CAN SAY
WHAT'S TO BE FOUND

IN THE BLACK HILLS,
HUH?

OHH.

SAY, IT'D BRING THEM IN
IN SWARMS, ALL RIGHT.

START A SECOND
CALIFORNIA GOLD RUSH.

BUT, UH...
WHAT ABOUT THE SIOUX?

THAT'S WHERE
THE COMMISSIONER COMES IN.

TREATY OR NO TREATY,
WE CANNOT ALLOW

THOUSANDS OF
AMERICAN CITIZENS

TO BE MASSACRED.

THE FORCES OF GENERAL CROOK
AND GENERAL TERRY

WILL MOVE IN BETWEEN
THEM AND THE SIOUX.

WELL, NED, DO YOU SEE
ANY PRACTICAL OBJECTION?

ONLY CUSTER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHAT CAN HE DO?

YOU DON'T KNOW
CUSTER.

YOU GET HIM
FIGHTING MAD,

AND THERE ISN'T ANYTHING
THAT HE WON'T DO.

THERE ISN'T ANYTHING
HIS REGIMENT WON'T DO

IF HE GIVES THEM
THE WORD.

THEY COULD
BLOCKADE BISMARCK,

BLOW UP THE
RAILROAD BRIDGES...

AHH, THEN WE'LL HAVE TO
GET RID OF COLONEL CUSTER

AS A FIRST MEASURE,
EH, TAIPE?

I'M ALL FOR THAT...

BUT I SHOULDN'T ADVISE

DOING IT THROUGH
OFFICIAL CHANNELS.

I THINK I KNOW HOW TO GET
RID OF COLONEL CUSTER

TO EVERYBODY'S SATISFACTION.

TURN OUT THE GUARD.
COMMANDING OFFICER!

FALL IN!

[BUGLE BLOWS]

PRESENT...ARMS!

ORDER...ARMS!

HELLO, ROBERTS.
HOW'S YOUR WIFE?

BETTER, SIR,

THANKS TO
MRS. CUSTER.

GOOD, GOOD.
NOW, LOOK,

TOMORROW I WANT YOU TO
SHINE THE SQUADRON UP,

BRIGHT AND SNAPPY.

I'M REVIEWING THEM
FOR THE NEW COMMISSIONER

WITHOUT OFFICERS.

WITHOUT OFFICERS?
RIGHT, SIR.

STAND OVER THERE.
LET ME LOOK AT YOU.

MY WORD, YOU'RE
LOVELIER THAN EVER.

GEORGE, YOU MUST PUT ME DOWN.
WE'VE GOT COMPANY.

WHAT?
YES.

I'VE GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

A SURPRISE?

MRS. TAIPE, MAY I PRESENT
MY HUSBAND GENERAL CUSTER?

A PLEASURE.

MRS. SHARP, MY HUSBAND
GENERAL CUSTER.

AND HERE ARE SOME
OLD FRIENDS OF YOURS.

WELL...

WHAT'S THIS?

WELCOME HOME,
COLONEL.

A LITTLE SURPRISE
FOR YOU.

YES, THIS IS
A SURPRISE.

HAVEN'T SEEN YOU, SIR,

SINCE YOU RETIRED
FROM THE ARMY.

WELL, AFTER THE WAR,
I FOUND ARMY LIFE

A TRIFLE MONOTONOUS,
CUSTER.

HE'S HERE AS A SPECIAL
COMMISSIONER, YOU KNOW.

OH. THEN IN THAT CASE,

I SHOULD HAVE PAID
MY RESPECTS TO YOU

AS A REPRESENTATIVE
OF THE GOVERNMENT.

THAT'S THE REGULATION,
I SUPPOSE,

BUT THERE'S NO NEED TO
STAND ON CEREMONY HERE.

I MUST CONGRATULATE YOU,
COLONEL,

ON THE REPUTATION YOU'VE
MADE FOR YOUR REGIMENT.

THANK YOU, SIR.

LET'S DRINK
A TOAST TO IT.

A TOAST TO
THE 7th CAVALRY.

RIGHT.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO
DRINK THIS TOAST

IN WATER,
ARE YOU, COLONEL?

YES. FOR THE PRESENT,

THIS IS THE DRINK
OF THE 7th CAVALRY.

WELL, TO THE SOBER
7th CAVALRY.

[BUGLE PLAYING]

I'M SORRY YOU
WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE

THE WHOLE
REGIMENT OPERATE,

MR. COMMISSIONER.

MOST OF IT'S
IN THE BLACK HILLS,

BUT I CAN PROMISE YOU
THAT TOMORROW

YOU'LL TAKE THE SALUTE

FROM ONE OF THE FINEST
SQUADRONS OF CAVALRY

THAT EVER
RODE IN REVIEW.

THERE'LL BE NO
OFFICERS ON PARADE?

VERY IRREGULAR, SIR.

THAT'S BECAUSE I WANT
YOU TO SEE THE MEN,

THE MEN WHO FOUGHT
36 ENGAGEMENTS,

WHO CLEARED AND PACIFIED
THIS FRONTIER SINGLE-HANDED,

WHO SWEATED AND STARVED
DAY AFTER DAY

AGAINST IMPOSSIBLE ODDS.

THERE'S NO DENYING
THEIR RECORD, COLONEL.

I THINK IT WAS
AN IDEA THAT MADE THEM,

AN IDEA AND A SONG.

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THEM

THE DAY THEY WERE
FIRST MUSTERED IN:

DERELICTS, OUTCASTS,
CRIMINALS OF EVERY KIND

WHO JUST JOINED UP

BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T MAKE
A LIVING ANY OTHER WAY.

WAIT'LL YOU SEE THEM NOW,
MR. COMMISSIONER.

WAIT'LL YOU SEE
WHAT DISCIPLINE,

DEVOTION TO DUTY,

AND A LITTLE HUMAN
UNDERSTANDING CAN DO.

YOU'LL SEE MEN
WHO AREN'T AFRAID

TO LOOK DEATH IN THE FACE
WITH PRIDE IN THEIR EYE.

AND NOT FOR ANY
MEASLY $13 A MONTH,

BUT JUST BECAUSE THEY GOT
PRIDE IN THEIR REGIMENT.

GO OUT AND TAKE THE SALUTE,
MR. COMMISSIONER.

YOU'VE GOOD REASON TO,
YOU AND EVERY OTHER

CIVILIAN IN
THE UNITED STATES.

[WHOOPING AND SHOUTING]

[BLOWS OFF-KEY]

WHAT'S THE MEANING
OF THIS OUTRAGE?

I THINK I KNOW.

YOU KNOW, IF I WAS
YOU, MR. SHARP,

I'D VAMOOSE.

CUSTER'S LIABLE TO
GO LOCO ABOUT THIS.

I'M NOT GETTING OUT.

HAVE THOSE BUNG-STARTERS HANDY
WHEN GOLDILOCKS ARRIVES.

HE'LL NEVER CLOSE
THIS BAR AGAIN.

THIS IS NONE OF
YOUR AFFAIR, CUSTER.

WE--WE OPENED

BY AUTHORITY OF
THE COMMISSIONER.

THE DRINKS WERE
FREE TO THE MEN

IN HONOR OF HIS VISIT.

STOP IT!

STOP IT, CUSTER!

YOU'RE DESTROYING
PRIVATE PROPERTY.

THAT'S AN ORDER, CUSTER.

THIS BAR WAS OPENED
BY MY AUTHORITY.

YOUR AUTHORITY?

IF YOUR MEN
ARE DRUNKEN SOTS,

THAT'S YOUR
RESPONSIBILITY,

NOT THE COMPANY'S.

SOTS?

YOU--YOU--YOU
CONTEMPTIBLE PARASITE!

I'LL SEE THAT HE'S
RELIEVED OF HIS COMMAND.

HE'LL BE IN WASHINGTON
FOR A COURT-MARTIAL.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

I DO WISH YOU'D
STOPPED OFF IN CHICAGO

AND SEEN UNCLE PHIL.

WE WOULD ONLY HAVE BEEN
IN WASHINGTON ONE DAY LATER,

AND HE MIGHT
HAVE HELPED YOU.

I DON'T THINK ANYONE
CAN HELP ME NOW.

I STRUCK
A REPRESENTATIVE

OF THE GOVERNMENT,

AND I'D DO IT AGAIN.

WHEN THE FACTS ARE KNOWN,

WHO IN ALL THE WORLD
COULD BLAME YOU?

YOU.

I?

YES, I SHOULD HAVE
THOUGHT OF YOU.

THIS MESS HAS
MADE ME REALIZE

HOW SELFISH
I'VE BEEN.

OH, MY DEAR...

TAKING YOU AWAY
FROM YOUR HOME...

COMFORT,
PEACE OF MIND...

MY DARLING,

I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING
WHEN I MARRIED YOU.

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT
I WAS DOING TO YOU.

I'VE MADE YOU
GIVE UP EVERYTHING.

I LOVE YOU.

Conductor:
SPRINGFIELD!

5-MINUTE STOP,
5 MINUTES.

WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF

AND GET A BREATH
OF FRESH AIR?

NO, I DON'T
THINK SO, DARLING.

THERE MAY BE SOME
REPORTERS AROUND,

AND I DON'T WANT
TO SEE ANYONE.

IS THERE ANYTHING
I CAN GET YOU:

MAGAZINE, CIGARS?

NO, NOTHING.

MAYBE A NEWSPAPER.

AND YOU'D BETTER TAKE
A LITTLE WALK YOURSELF.

YOU'VE BEEN COOPED UP HERE
WITH ME LONG ENOUGH.

PAPERS? PAPERS?

PAPER.

HAVE YOU A CHICAGO
OR WASHINGTON PAPER?

CHICAGO RECORD HERALD,
JUST OUT HALF AN HOUR AGO.

ALL ABOUT THE BIG GOLD STRIKE
IN THE BLACK HILLS.

THE BLACK HILLS
IN DAKOTA?

YES, MA'AM.

IT'S BIGGER THAN THE ONE
IN CALIFORNIA, THEY SAY.

LOOK AT THIS.

HMM?

LOOK.

GOLD.

"STRIKE IN
THE BLACK HILLS.

"THE STAMPEDE STARTED
WHEN AN INDIAN SQUAW

"TENDERED A NUGGET
OF GOLD FOR SUPPLIES

"IN THE WESTERN RAILROAD
LAND AND TRADING COMPANY

"AT FORT LINCOLN.

"THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE

RUSHING INTO
THE BLACK HILLS."

WHY, THAT'S WHAT MRS. TAIPE
MUST'VE MEANT WHEN SHE SAID

THAT THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
WERE COMING TO DAKOTA

AND ADVISED ME TO BUY
STOCK IN THE COMPANY.

MRS. TAIPE SAID THAT?

YES, THE DAY YOU CAME
BACK TO THE FORT.

I DIDN'T REPEAT IT TO YOU

BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK
IT WAS IMPORTANT,

BUT NOW I SEE--

THE DAY I CAME BACK
TO THE FORT,

MRS. TAIPE KNEW THEN

THAT THESE PEOPLE
WERE COMING.

BUT, LIBBY,
DON'T YOU SEE?

THIS INDIAN WOMAN
ONLY CAME INTO THE FORT

YESTERDAY.

THEN THAT MUST MEAN--

THAT THERE'S
NO GOLD.

THAT IT'S
A CONSPIRACY

TO BREAK
THE PEACE TREATY.

A CONSPIRACY?

YES. AND WHAT HAPPENED
AT THE REVIEW

WAS A PART OF IT.

THEY HAD TO
GET RID OF ME,

AND NO WONDER.

I'D HAVE HANGED THEM ALL
FROM THE FORT GATES,

TAIPE AND ALL
THE REST OF THEM.

I'D HAVE BURNT
THE RAILROAD BRIDGES.

AND I GAVE MY WORD
TO CRAZY HORSE

THAT THE SIOUX--

THE SIOUX.

WHY, LIBBY,
THOSE FOOLS

DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY'VE DONE.

CONDUCTOR.

CONDUCTOR.

I'M TRYING TO SAY

THAT THE COMMISSIONER
IS SHARP'S BOUGHT MAN,

THAT HE HAS
AN INTEREST IN--

Sharp and Taipe:
I OBJECT.

Commissioner:
OBJECTION SUSTAINED.

I'M SORRY, COLONEL,

BUT YOU MUST TRY TO
CONFINE YOUR TESTIMONY

TO ACTUAL PROOF
OF CONSPIRACY.

ALL RIGHT.

I'M HERE TO TELL YOU
THAT SHARP'S COMPANY

TRICKED THOUSANDS
OF PEOPLE

INTO VIOLATING
INDIAN TERRITORY

WITH A LYING TALE
OF A GOLD STRIKE

AND THAT TAIPE
WAS A PARTY TO THAT PLOT.

THAT'S MERELY
AN ACCUSATION, COLONEL.

WHAT FACTS CAN YOU
TELL US TO PROVE IT?

3 WEEKS BEFORE
THERE WAS ANY TALK

OF THIS SO-CALLED
GOLD DISCOVERY,

TAIPE'S WIFE SAID THAT
SOON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE--

I OBJECT TO
SUCH TESTIMONY.

IT'S HEARSAY.

SUSTAINED.

COLONEL CUSTER,
WE CAN HEAR

NO EVIDENCE
OF THAT NATURE.

IT'S INADMISSIBLE.

INADMISSIBLE?

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING TO
KEEP ME FROM TESTIFYING

BY LEGAL SKULLDUGGERY?

DO YOU THINK I'D LIE?

NO, COLONEL, BUT
YOU'RE NOT A LAWYER.

THE TESTIMONY
YOU'RE ATTEMPTING

TO GIVE IS HEARSAY,

THE WORDS OF
ANOTHER PERSON.

IT'S NEVER
ADMISSIBLE.

NEVER ADMISSIBLE?

EXCEPT IN THE CASE
OF A DYING DECLARATION,

WHERE THE WORDS ARE
SPOKEN OR WRITTEN

IN A CERTAIN KNOWLEDGE
OF APPROACHING DEATH.

THEN YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY
OF EVIDENCE OF THAT SORT

WITHIN A FEW WEEKS.

THE TREATY'S BEEN BROKEN.

WITHIN A FEW WEEKS,

THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE
WILL BE MASSACRED

IN THE BLACK HILLS.

THAT'S WHY I BLASTED THIS THING
WIDE OPEN IN THE PRESS.

AND NOW YOU
WANT TO TALK TO ME

ABOUT LEGAL
TECHNICALITIES.

THERE NEED BE NO
APPREHENSION, GENTLEMEN.

GENERAL TERRY
AND GENERAL CROOK

HAVE ORDERS TO CONCENTRATE
THEIR FORCES

IN THE YELLOWSTONE VALLEY.

3,000 AMERICAN SOLDIERS
SHOULD BE MORE THAN A MATCH

FOR 3,000 SIOUX.

WHY, YOU FOOL,

THOSE TROOPS ARE INFANTRY,
USELESS AGAINST INDIANS.

AND THEY WON'T FIND
ANY 3,000 SIOUX.

THE SANCTUARY OF THE ENTIRE
RED RACE IS BEING VIOLATED.

THEY'LL FIND EVERY TRIBE
IN THE WEST MASSED THERE,

READY TO OVERWHELM THEM.
NOT ONLY THE SIOUX,

BUT THE CHEYENNE,
THE BLACKFEET,

THE SANS ARCS,
ALL THE REST OF THEM.

AND WHO'S TO BLAME THEM?

NOT I, GENTLEMEN.

IF I WERE AN INDIAN,

I'D FIGHT
BESIDE CRAZY HORSE

TO THE LAST DROP
OF MY BLOOD.

IT'S IN COLONEL CUSTER'S
INTEREST TO BE AN ALARMIST.

HE'S BEEN RELIEVED
OF HIS COMMAND

AND IS AWAITING
COURT-MARTIAL.

BUT THE WAR DEPARTMENT
DOESN'T SHARE HIS FEARS,

ESPECIALLY AS AMONG THE FORCES
ORDERED INTO ACTION

IS THE CELEBRATED
7th CAVALRY,

WHICH BOASTS ITSELF
MORE THAN ABLE

TO DEFEND THE FRONTIER
SINGLE-HANDED.

COLONEL CUSTER,

HAVE YOU ANY
FURTHER TESTIMONY,

RELEVANT TESTIMONY,

TO PLACE BEFORE
THE COMMITTEE?

NONE.

THEN I MOVE
WE ADJOURN, GENTLEMEN.

IS IT THAT BAD?

I'LL START ASSEMBLING
A DIVISION AT ONCE.

BUT IT'LL TAKE TIME,
CUSTER.

TIME.

TROOPS ON THE FRONTIER
WILL HAVE TO BE SACRIFICED.

INCLUDING
THE 7th CAVALRY.

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

THERE'S THIS:

GET MY COURT-MARTIAL
POSTPONED.

GET MY COMMAND
RESTORED TO ME.

AND LET YOU
COMMIT SUICIDE?

NO, THANK YOU.

YOU DON'T OWE
ANYBODY THAT.

SHERIDAN, DO YOU REMEMBER
WHAT YOU SAID TO ME

AFTER WINCHESTER?

YOU SAID, "IF THERE'S EVER
ANYTHING YOU WANT FROM ME,

"INCLUDING MY RIGHT ARM,

DON'T ASK FOR IT,
JUST TAKE IT."

I WON'T DO IT.
YOU DON'T OWE

THOSE BLOODSUCKERS
ANYTHING.

I'M ASKING YOU NOW.

THERE'S LIBBY TO BE
CONSIDERED.

I WOULDN'T DO IT
IF I COULD,

BUT I CAN'T.

TAIPE WOULD NEVER
LET IT GET THROUGH.

THE ONLY MAN
WHO COULD DO IT

IS THE PRESIDENT.

AND SINCE THESE
CHARGES OF YOURS

HAVE ALL BUT WRECKED
HIS ADMINISTRATION,

ULYSSES S. GRANT

HATES THE SOUND
OF YOUR NAME.

COLONEL CUSTER?

I REGRET THE PRESIDENT
DECLINES TO SEE YOU.

HE INSTRUCTS THAT
ANY OFFICIAL BUSINESS

YOU MAY HAVE

SHALL BE CONDUCTED
THROUGH THE WAR DEPARTMENT.

I'LL REMIND YOU, SIR,

THAT I'M PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES.

I'M NOT HERE TO SEE

THE PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES,

GRANT. I'M HERE
TO SEE A SOLDIER.

YOU'VE CAUSED PLENTY
OF TROUBLE, CUSTER,

STICKING YOUR NOSE
INTO POLITICS.

I WANT
MY REGIMENT BACK.

ALL YOU'LL GET FROM ME
IS A COURT-MARTIAL.

TO THE DEVIL WITH
A COURT-MARTIAL.

I WANT MY REGIMENT
BACK, GRANT.

MAYBE YOU'LL TELL ME WHY
I SHOULD GIVE IT TO YOU?

I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW
HOW A MAN FEELS

WHEN HE'S BROKEN,

WHEN HE'S LEFT BEHIND

AND HIS REGIMENT'S
MARCHING OUT TO FIGHT.

YOU KNOW
HOW HE FEELS, GRANT,

BECAUSE YOU HAD
A TASTE OF IT YOURSELF.

[FOOTSTEPS]

GET OUT.

ALL RIGHT.

MY ORDERS WAS
TO CLOSE UP, COLONEL,

AS SOON AS
YOU GOT BACK.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I JUST GOT IN.

AND AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

I'M GOING BUGHOUSE
IN THIS JOINT.

AND, COLONEL,
SINCE YOU'VE BEEN

RELIEVED OF YOUR COMMAND,

NOT A SINGLE SOLDIER HAS
SET HIS FOOT IN THIS PLACE.

YES?

INDEED.

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

YOU NEEDN'T BOTHER
CLOSING UP.

JUST TELL MR. SHARP
I WANT TO SEE HIM.

AND LEAVE US ALONE
TOGETHER.

OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THERE WON'T BE
ANY DISTURBANCE.

SAY, CUSTER'S OUTSIDE.

HE WANTS TO SEE YOU.

I, UH--

I GAVE ORDERS
TO CLOSE THE BAR

AS SOON AS I HEARD
YOU TOOK COMMAND AGAIN.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT,
SHARP.

REMEMBER
I TOLD YOU ONCE

THAT THE DAY
I TOOK A DRINK,

YOU COULD OPEN
THE BAR UP?

YEAH.

WELL, I FEEL LIKE
DRINKING TONIGHT.

THINGS HAVE BEEN
PRETTY BAD.

WANT TO JOIN ME?

WHY, SURE, SURE.
WHY NOT?

WE'LL LET BYGONES
BE BYGONES, HUH?

SURE.

SAY, UH, HITTING IT
KIND OF HARD, AREN'T YOU?

NO POINT IN
HALF-MEASURES.

DRINK UP.

I, UH, I HEAR THE 7th'S
MARCHING OUT THIS MORNING

TO MAKE CONTACT
WITH CROOK AND TERRY

AT THE LITTLE BIG HORN.

MM-HMM. YES.

THE 7th'S
MARCHING OUT.

LET'S DRINK
TO THE 7th.

LET'S DRINK
TO 'EM AGAIN.

LAST TIME I DRANK IT
IN WATER, REMEMBER?

WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU--

DRINK IT.

IF THE OTHER OUTFITS DON'T
FIGHT THEIR WAY THROUGH,

YOU'RE LIABLE TO HAVE A LOT
OF SIOUX ON YOUR HANDS.

YES.

YES, QUITE A LOT
OF SIOUX, SHARP.

BUT THE GREATER
THE ODDS,

THE GREATER
THE GLORY.

COME ON, SHARP,

LET'S DRINK
TO GLORY.

YOU ALWAYS WERE

A GREAT ONE
FOR GLORY, CUSTER.

REMEMBER--REMEMBER THAT DAY
YOU CAME TO WEST POINT,

AND YOU TALKED TO ME
ABOUT THE STATUES?

YES, YES,
I REMEMBER.

WELL, YOU GOT GLORY.

AND WHAT DID
GLORY GET YOU?

A TWO-BIT JOB

AND A--
AND A COURT-MARTIAL.

THAT'S ALL.

WELL, THAT'S NOT ENOUGH.

NOW WE'RE GOING TO DRINK
TO SOMETHING THAT'S--

THAT'S WORTH HAVING,

SOMETHING THEY'LL KISS
YOUR FEET FOR HAVING.

HERE'S TO MONEY,

AND LONG MAY SHE JINGLE.

MONEY.

YOU MAY BE RIGHT
ABOUT MONEY, SHARP,

QUITE RIGHT.

BUT THERE'S ONE THING
TO BE SAID FOR GLORY.

AND WHAT'S THAT?

YOU CAN TAKE
GLORY WITH YOU

WHEN IT'S
YOUR TIME TO GO.

CALIFORNIA?

[SPITS]

[TRUMPET PLAYS REVEILLE]

WELL, NOW,
LET'S SEE.

ANYTHING
I'VE FORGOTTEN?

FIELD GLASSES?

YEP.

COMPASS.

GOT IT.

YOUR WATCH.

WATCH, NO.

YOU KNOW, LIBBY,

THEY OUGHT TO MAKE YOU
QUARTERMASTER GENERAL.

EVERY TIME I GO
INTO THE FIELD,

I'M THE BEST-EQUIPPED MAN
IN THE REGIMENT.

OH, LOOK AT THAT.

BROKEN.

WHAT?

THE CHAIN.

NOW I WON'T BE ABLE
TO TAKE THIS WITH ME.

IT'LL BE THE FIRST TIME

YOU'VE EVER GONE INTO
A CAMPAIGN WITHOUT IT.

YES. WELL, THERE'S NO TIME
TO HAVE IT FIXED,

AND I DON'T WANT TO TAKE
A CHANCE ON LOSING IT.

I'LL LEAVE IT HERE.

NOT MUCH MORE TIME.

HERE'S YOUR
CARTRIDGE BELT.

YOU KNOW, I'M SURE
YOU'RE THE FIRST SOLDIER

THAT EVER BECAME
A GENERAL

WITHOUT LETTING
HIS BELT OUT.

OH-HO, BUT YOU WAIT

UNTIL WE GET THAT STAFF
JOB IN WASHINGTON

AFTER THIS
CAMPAIGN'S OVER.

I'M GOING TO GROW
A BIG TUMMY ON ME

LIKE GENERAL
WINFIELD SCOTT.

YOU KNOW, HO HO HO.

AND WE'LL GROW FAT
AND HAPPY TOGETHER.

TOGETHER.

AND PEOPLE WILL SAY,

"DON'T TELL ME
THAT LIFE IN THE DAKOTAS

"WAS FULL OF HARDSHIP.

"LOOK AT GENERAL
AND MRS. CUSTER.

THEY CERTAINLY GREW
FAT AND HAPPY ON IT."

YOU...

YOU HAVE BEEN
HAPPY HERE,

HAVEN'T YOU,
LIBBY?

DON'T I LOOK HAPPY?

WELL, NOW LET'S SEE
WHAT ELSE.

OH, MY ORDERS.

I PUT THEM IN THAT
DRAWER OVER THERE.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL GET IT.

WELL, WHAT'S THIS?

"MY LIFE WITH
GENERAL CUSTER."

OH, DARLING,
THAT'S MY DIARY.

I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU KEPT ONE.

IT'S JUST A RECORD OF
OUR LIFE HERE TOGETHER.

IT WOULDN'T INTEREST YOU.

JUST THE SILLY THINGS THAT
SEEM IMPORTANT TO A WOMAN.

"TOMORROW
MY HUSBAND LEAVES,

"AND I CANNOT
HELP BUT FEEL

"THAT MY LAST
HAPPY DAYS ARE ENDED.

"A PREMONITION
OF DISASTER

"SUCH AS I
HAVE NEVER KNOWN

"IS WEIGHING ME DOWN.

"I TRY TO SHUT IT
INTO MY HEART,

"BUT IT IS
ALMOST UNBEARABLE.

"I PRAY GOD
I BE NOT ASKED

TO WALK ON ALONE."

YOU KNOW, I PROBABLY WROTE THAT,
OR SOMETHING LIKE IT,

EVERY TIME YOU WENT AWAY,

EVEN FOR
A DAY'S JOURNEY.

YOU KNOW HOW FOOLISH
WOMEN ARE.

EVERY PARTING HAS ITS OWN
FEARS AND ANXIETIES.

OF COURSE.

I OFTEN FEEL
LIKE THAT MYSELF.

BUT IT--IT HAS ITS
BRIGHT SIDE, TOO.

THE MORE SADNESS
IN PARTING,

THE MORE JOY
IN THE REUNION.

[BUGLE PLAYS]

BOOTS AND SADDLES.

GOOD-BYE.

WALKING THROUGH LIFE
WITH YOU, MA'AM,

HAS BEEN A VERY
GRACIOUS THING.

Butler: ATTENTION!

SIR, THE REGIMENT
IS FORMED.

FORWARD, HO!

SCOUTS OUT.

GRAY EAGLE.

LONG HAIR.

BLACK HILLS.

GO TO LODGE
OF SITTING BULL.

LET HIM CALL SIOUX
CHIEFS TO WAR COUNCIL.

Officer: HALT!

MEET US ON THE LITTLE
BIG HORN AT SUNUP.

WELL, PARDNER,

THE--THE SCOUTS
ARE BACK.

WHAT'S THE REPORT?

ANY NEWS OF
CROOK'S COLUMN?

THERE'S PLENTY OF 'EM,
ALL SCALPED.

DEAD LONG?

OH, ABOUT A WEEK,
I RECKON.

CRAZY HORSE ATTACKED
CROOK'S OUTFIT

COMIN' DOWN A STREAM

AND MASSACRED 'EM
GOOD AND PROPER.

AND THEN CROOK,
HE HIGH-TAILED IT BACK

TO WHERE HE--TO WHERE
HE COME FROM, CROOK DID.

HE GOT AWAY, EH?

WHERE'S
CRAZY HORSE NOW?

CAMPED ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF LITTLE BIG HORN.

HE'S HEADED NORTH
TO MASSACRE TERRY'S OUTFIT.

THEN HE'S BETWEEN US,

AND I CAN'T REACH
TERRY IN TIME.

CRAZY HORSE MUST KNOW
WE'RE HERE, OF COURSE.

MORE GOL-DARN INDIANS

CAMPED OVER ON
LITTLE BIG HORN

THAN THERE IS GRASSHOPPERS
IN A CORNFIELD.

EVERY KIND OF A GOL-DARN
INDIAN YOU CAN THINK OF!

YOU KNOW, PARDNER,

WE BETTER VAMOOSE
OUT OF HERE GOOD AND PRONTO.

WE'RE NOT VAMOOSING.

I'M GOING TO ATTACK.

ATTACK?!

IT'S TERRY OR US.

WHAT CHANCE HAS
HIS INFANTRY GOT

AGAINST THOUSANDS
OF INDIANS?

MM-HMM. WHAT--WHAT--

WHAT BETTER CHANCE
HAVE YOU GOT?

IT'S A CAVALRY JOB, JOE.

I CAN DO MORE DAMAGE.

AND IF I CAN DO ENOUGH,

IT'LL GIVE TERRY A
CHANCE TO STAND THEM OFF

UNTIL SHERIDAN
COMES UP FROM BISMARCK.

I'M WONDERIN' IF I'M EVER
GONNA GET TO CALIFORNIA.

TELL MR. BUTLER
I WANT TO SEE HIM.

ALL RIGHT, PARDNER.

I MEAN, YES, SIR.

YOU SENT FOR ME, SIR?

YES, BUTLER.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE
THIS LETTER

INTO FORT LINCOLN
TONIGHT.

ME? TONIGHT?

TONIGHT.

IT'S IMPORTANT.

MUST BE IF IT NEEDS
YOUR BALLY ADJUTANT

TO PLAY POSTMAN
AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME
TO GO BACK WITH IT?

WELL, FOR ONE THING,

YOU'RE AN ENGLISHMAN,

NOT AN AMERICAN.

NOT AN AMERICAN?

WHAT DO YOU YANKEES
THINK YOU ARE?

THE ONLY REAL AMERICANS
IN THIS MERRY OLD PARISH

ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE HILL

WITH FEATHERS
IN THEIR HAIR.

YOU'RE PROBABLY
RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

BUT THERE'S
6,000 OF THEM

AND LESS
THAN 600 OF US.

THE REGIMENT'S BEING
SACRIFICED, BUTLER.

I WOULDN'T WANT
TO SEE A FOREIGNER

BUTCHERED IN A DIRTY
DEAL LIKE THIS.

SPORTING OF YOU
TO THINK OF IT THAT WAY.

BUT I'LL REMIND YOU, SIR,

I'M A MEMBER OF THE MESS
OF THE 7th U.S. CAVALRY.

FANCY WALKING INTO
THE SERVICE CLUB IN PICCADILLY

IF THE REGIMENT--

GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO POST
YOUR BLINKING LETTER.

THANKS,
"QUEEN'S OWN."

JUST SO LONG
AS YOU KNOW.

I'LL GET
SOMEONE ELSE.

[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]

SIOUX!

CHEYENNE!

MINICONJOU!

SANS ARCS.

OGLALA!

SHOSHONE!
BLACKFOOT!

[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]

YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS,
CUSTER.

THERE'S A LAW IN THIS COUNTRY
AGAINST ABDUCTION.

YOU'LL GO TO JAIL FOR IT.

MAYBE, SHARP, MAYBE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

CUT ME LOOSE.

SAY, WHAT IS ALL THIS?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

IT MEANS
YOU'RE FREE.

FREE?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE I AM,

WHAT DAY IT IS.

IT'S ABOUT DAWN ON
THE 25th OF JUNE.

YOU'RE ON
THE ROSEBUD RIDGE

ABOVE THE LITTLE
BIG HORN RIVER.

THE WAY HOME'S
DUE EAST.

THE WAY HOME FROM
THE LITTLE BIG HORN?!

WHY, THIS WHOLE COUNTRY'S
SWARMING WITH SIOUX!

THAT'S RIGHT,
SHARP, IT IS.

WHY, IT'S MURDER.

WH-WHAT CHANCE
WILL I HAVE?

ABOUT THE SAME CHANCE
AS THE THOUSANDS

OF OTHER POOR DEVILS
YOU SENT IN HERE

WITH THAT LYING TALE
ABOUT THE GOLD.

I SAY IT'S MURDER.

I WON'T GO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO,
SHARP.

IT'S FOR YOU
TO CHOOSE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU MEAN--

YOU MEAN
YOU'LL LEAVE ME HERE?

NO.

THE REGIMENT RIDES
IN ABOUT AN HOUR.

YOU CAN RIDE WITH IT
IF YOU WANT.

WHERE IS
THE REGIMENT RIDING?

TO HELL, SHARP,

OR TO GLORY.

IT DEPENDS ON ONE'S
POINT OF VIEW.

NOT DEAD LONG.

BIG WAR PARTY GO.

SIOUX!

FORWARD RANK, HO!

[SHOUTING WAR CRIES]

[BUGLE PLAYS]

DRAW SABER!

CHARGE!

[BUGLE PLAYS CHARGE]

FIGHT ON FOOT!

[BUGLE PLAYS]

YA DIRTY YELLOWBELLIES!

OH, LOOKS LIKE
I'LL NEVER GET TO...

MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT...

ABOUT GLORY.

I NEEDN'T TELL YOU,

BUT FOR THE DESPERATE ATTACK
OF THE 7th CAVALRY,

TERRY'S FORCE
WOULD'VE BEEN WIPED OUT,

THE SQUATTERS WOULD
HAVE BEEN MASSACRED,

THE WHOLE FRONTIER OVERRUN,
BISMARCK ITSELF DESTROYED.

I'LL MAKE IT A POINT TO
SEE THAT THE REGIMENT

GETS DUE RECOGNITION
FROM CONGRESS.

LET ME REMIND YOU
THAT ALL CUSTER SAID CAME TRUE.

EVERY INDIAN
ON THE FRONTIER

GATHERED TO DEFEND
THE BLACK HILLS,

AND THE TROOPS WHICH
YOU SENT AGAINST THEM

WERE OVERWHELMED.

THE PUBLIC, GENTLEMEN,
HAS BEGUN TO WONDER

IF MAYBE SOME OF
THE OTHER THINGS HE TRIED TO SAY

MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN
TRUE ALSO.

BY WHAT AUTHORITY

DO YOU PRESUME TO
TALK TO ME LIKE THIS?

BY AUTHORITY OF THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES.

CUSTER HAD
AN OPPORTUNITY

TO TELL EVERYTHING
HE KNEW

AT THE CONGRESSIONAL
INQUIRY.

HE HAD
A FAIR HEARING.

A FAIR HEARING, TAIPE?
I HEARD THEM TELL HIM

THAT HIS TESTIMONY
WAS INADMISSIBLE,

EXCEPT AS A DYING
DECLARATION.

WELL, CUSTER'S DEAD,

BUT YOU'RE GOING
TO HEAR HIM SPEAK.

YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY
TO THESE GENTLEMEN, LIBBY?

I HAVE HERE A LETTER
FROM MY HUSBAND

ADDRESSED TO THE NATION.

IT CONTAINS NOTHING

WITH WHICH YOU
ARE NOT FAMILIAR,

ONLY A RESTATEMENT
OF THE EVIDENCE

HE ATTEMPTED TO PUT
BEFORE CONGRESS.

THAT EVIDENCE
WAS RULED HEARSAY,

MERE HEARSAY.

MY HUSBAND
WROTE THIS LETTER

ON THE MORNING
OF JUNE THE 25th

IN ANTICIPATION OF
HIS DEATH ON THAT DAY.

HE BELIEVED IT TO BE
WHAT THE COMMITTEE CALLED

A DYING DECLARATION,

AND AS SUCH, ADMISSIBLE
IN A COURT OF LAW.

YOU HEAR THAT, SHARP?

WHY, IF THAT LETTER GETS OUT,
WE'LL BE LYNCHED!

WELL, SAY
SOMETHING, MAN.

IT DOESN'T SEEM
TO MATTER, TAIPE.

MY SON CHOSE
TO GO TO HIS DEATH

WITH THE 7th CAVALRY.

AND I THINK I KNOW WHY.

THERE IS A PRICE FOR
WHICH IT CAN BE BOUGHT.

COLONEL CUSTER'S PRICE.

WELL, WHAT IS IT?

NAME IT.

THE COMPANY
MUST BE DISSOLVED.

THE COMPANY
IS DISSOLVED.

MR. TAIPE, YOU MUST
RESIGN YOUR OFFICE

AS COMMISSIONER.

RESIGN?

AND BEFORE YOU
LEAVE THIS ROOM.

AND THERE IS ANOTHER PRICE,
GENERAL SHERIDAN.

THE PRICE THE ADMINISTRATION
MUST PAY.

THE ADMINISTRATION
MUST MAKE GOOD

ITS PROMISE TO
CHIEF CRAZY HORSE.

THE INDIANS MUST BE
PROTECTED IN THEIR RIGHT

TO AN EXISTENCE
IN THEIR OWN COUNTRY.

I HAVE THE AUTHORITY
TO ANSWER THAT

FROM THE ADMINISTRATION,
FROM THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF.

COME, MY DEAR.

YOUR SOLDIER WON
HIS LAST FIGHT, AFTER ALL.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.