The Work (2017) Movie Script | Subs like Script

This programme contains very strong

language.

Gentlemen, can we all gather around

here, please?

OK, when we walk in, we're

absolutely quiet.

No talking, no joking, whatever.

We're going into a maximum security

prison, and you're being watched

right now.

I heard about the programme through

a friend, and I think that this is a

path that I need to take, to better

find out, you know,

who I am as a person and... You know

what I'm saying?

As far as growing up in the streets

and possibly being one of these

inmates.

My desire to do this is to get

shaken out of whatever it is

that's keeping me, like, stuck.

When I thought about the

opportunity,

it seemed just crazy enough to,

like, really wake me up a little

bit.

OK, gentlemen.

You're doing great.

But I haven't yet decided how I feel

about a hardened criminal who'd

killed somebody and is working

through how to deal with that.

I don't know how to feel about that.

I've never really encountered...

I've never met a person who killed

another person.

I mean, it'll be scary but...

..that's kind of, I don't know, what

keeps me sort of interested in it.

Like, the sensation of me being in

danger has, like, a draw to it,

because it's not, you know, like the

humdrum, you know - get in your car,

drive to work, you know, go home,

drive to the gym, come back,

eat dinner and watch TV.

Can we all stand for a minute?

If you will, please close your eyes.

And I'd like for all of us to go

inside, to go outside.

I will call a chant, "Simbaway",

the way the lion walks, the way the

lion is,

the way the lion be so that we can

be that way also.

And after I say that word,

you will answer, "Shoo."

Let me hear that sound one time.

ALL: Shoo!

And let it come from the navel.

TUNEFULLY: Sim-m-m-ba-a-a-a-way-y-y!

ALL: Shoo!

Come on, now. I can't hear you.

I can't feel you.

Simbaway!

ALL: Shoo!

Simbaway!

ALL: Shoo!

Simbaway!

ALL: Shoo!

Simbaway! Shoo!

CONTINUES

PACE QUICKENS

Si-i-i-i-i-mbaway!

ALL: Shoo!

Si-i-i-i-i-mbaway!

Shoo!

Si-i-i-i-i-mbaway!

Shoo!

Now, just breathe into that.

Sound a little bit like a train for

a minute.

The train has pulled into the

station.

And you need to get on.

I'll show you.

Here we are. We finally all made it

into this circle.

Look around.

I have no idea what it's going to

look like.

I would be lying if I said I did.

All I know is that there are a bunch

of really intense, dedicated,

committed men sitting in this circle

who are willing to go anywhere with

you...

..however you need to go,

and whatever way that looks like.

I just want to throw this out.

Over the years, I keep hearing these

distinctions about guys from the

streets and guys from prison.

I say fuck all that.

We're guys.

And we're in here, struggling

the best way we know how.

Our guys in prison...

..we're going to come in here,

we're going to be authentic.

We're not going to be who we are out

there on the yard.

I ask that of you guys too.

You know who you are out there on

the streets.

Be more than that.

Not just us,

not just the guys who have to wear

fucking blue.

But all of us. Let's be...

For four days, let's be...

..what we could be.

Let's...let's be that.

Amen.

All right, so...

Here's what I want you to listen up

to.

In a moment,

you're going to go across this space

and pick one of these guys.

Look carefully and choose carefully.

Cos this is an important choice.

You're going to be with this man

that you choose for these next four

days.

Don't cheat yourself. Don't just

wait for it to happen any old way.

Get who you want.

Move to where you need to move.

So, here we go.

One, two...

..three, go.

Take him back to where you were.

Put him behind you. In silence.

Let's do it in silence.

Get him, get him, get him.

Go, go, go.

Get him, go.

OK, so, take the men who are behind

you.

Grab some chairs, sit down together,

and tell each other who you are.

Start there. Just start right there.

Tell each other who you are.

Introduce yourselves.

My name is Charles Tait.

Born... Do you go by Charles?

Yeah. Yeah. Born and raised in LA

all my life.

South Central, pretty much all over

the place in LA.

One of the reasons why I agreed to

come here was because my biological

father was

in prison when I was born, so that's

probably why one of my biggest,

biggest fears is being locked up,

you know what I'm saying?

Aside from dying, you know what I

mean?

So, tell me what...

What do you...?

What are you looking for here?

Why did you come and what are you

really...?

What's your goal?

I thought... I thought

it was going to be to, erm...

..like, figure out, like,

maybe it would bring me

some clarity and I thought,

coming in here and talking with you

guys, I'd get

some sense of why I've gone through

my life with a lot of opportunities,

and I haven't really taken a lot of

them, and I'm now 25 years old,

and...

..I am no closer to figuring out

what I want to do with my life than

I was

when I was 15 or 16.

And when you guys walk out on the

yard, like...

I mean, you guys have been

here for a while.

I mean, you look like a little kid.

I mean, really.

You look young, too. All you've got

to do is shave it off.

Yeah. No, I'll look younger.

I'm assuming that there's guys that

don't like to come out there, but

maybe I'm wrong.

I mean, what goes on?

Exercise, law library.

Sports. Being able to see other

people interact and mingle.

But what's with your interest in how

the situation is in prison?

I'm just trying to grasp, like,

what life you're going back to when

you walk out of the room, I guess.

Can I ask both you guys a

question? Yeah, absolutely.

Number one, what got you here and

how long have you been here?

What got me here was one count of

murder, three counts of robbery.

I've been here 22 years.

And I'm from San Diego, California.

South-east, West Coast Crip.

I'm no longer affiliated.

I got, like, 75 years.

Yeah, I got a lot of time.

As far as these circles are

concerned,

I've been in these circles for

years.

I've been locked up 19 years.

I'm in my 19th year now.

I'm doing seven-to-life.

Kidnapping for purposes of robbery.

I started stealing and that was...

There's some sense of excitement,

you know,

and I was getting away with things,

you know, and then eventually,

I didn't get away with it. You know,

and I was 18.

And I've been in here ever since.

I'm 39 now, so...

I almost chopped a guy in half.

They found me guilty. They found me

guilty for attempted murder.

I paralysed the guy for life.

I literally sat on his chest with a

knife like that. Big, just...

I cut a line, a jagged line across

his stomach,

trying to cut this dude in half.

Part of me believes that that's just

what the fuck life is,

and there's nothing I can do, think,

be taught, to change it.

To change what exactly?

Life or the bullshit?

My life and my place in life.

Because of where you're at right

now?

Like, physically right here?

No, no, no, no. In your life and

your place in it.

Where you're at right now.

I'm discontent.

Would you be willing

to go into these four days

open to finding a new way to look

at it?

Not to fix them, not to make them go

away.

But to be able to look at them

from another perspective. From

another perspective?

Yeah, I'm willing to do that.

Cos this shit doesn't work.

OK. You know, it doesn't.

It just fucking doesn't. OK.

You need anything during this break?

Some water or some shit. Get some

water.

Do you guys want anything? I'm good.

You all right? I'm good, thank you.

We got one. A real live wire.

We do.

THEY LAUGH

We do. I saw him laughing and

marvelling,

cos I see myself, I said, "Man...

"Man, you don't even know."

It's like looking in a mirror. It's

looking in a mirror. Exactly.

Let's do a check-in. Any man can

start one, and we'll go around

checking in.

What I want out of this weekend...

I want to be able to get out of

my way.

I want to stop being my own worst

enemy, and be able to connect with

anybody

I cross paths with.

I want us to be able to stand

together and be kissed by God

together.

That's what I want. Amen.

I'm Dark Cloud. In these four

days...

I want to... I want to... I want to

be vulnerable.

I want to be vulnerable.

And I don't want to be scared to be

vulnerable.

Cos every time, every time I've made

myself vulnerable, I've been hurt

and...

Amen with that.

I'm Kiks.

I'm checking in, wanting

to touch certain parts of my life.

I want to touch on the fears that I

have, my fear of loss and my family,

of not knowing how they're doing...

..or what they're going through.

I want to get into it. I just want

to get into this.

Well, let's stand up.

And if we just move the chairs back

a little bit, without too much

noise...

I need each man in this group...

..to help me get to a place that

I've been denying myself.

I haven't grieved...

..for my sister in a long time,

and I don't know how.

I'm tired of holding this in.

I'm tired of having that fear of

whether they are concerned about

when I get there,

that I've got to pull back.

I want to be open to it.

I want to just let the floodgates

open, but right now,

as you brothers can tell, I've got

fear.

Yeah. What's the fear about?

That I'll lose something that I've

had for so long.

That I'll lose that protective

shield, that armour that I wore,

that vest.

Could you describe that piece of

armour to me?

That one that keeps you, you know,

keeps you from having to do that?

The armour looks like this.

It's not OK to cry.

It's not OK to mourn.

It's not OK to show that you have

tears.

It's not OK.

I want to feel what it feels

like to mourn.

I want to feel that.

I don't want to bottle up that

little kid,

that little kid that used to cry

when his daddy used to whup his ass.

Excuse my language.

I don't want to deny him...

..what he's always wanted.

I don't want to take away what my

dad took away from me.

Stay with it. I don't want to feel

that pain no more, man!

I don't want... I don't want to feel

like I can't feel any more.

I want to be able to cry, because my

sister died.

I want to be able to feel, because I

can't hug my mom.

That's what I want to feel.

I don't want to feel like no damn

puppy.

I don't want to feel like no sucker

out here that just don't got no

emotions.

I want to feel like me.

I don't want to be afraid of that.

I don't want to have to pull back.

You trust me? I trust you.

Well, let's step into that gear.

Open up. Open up to that feeling.

Trust me. Take me there with you.

I'll go there with you.

I won't let anything happen.

I've got you.

You know I'm fighting this.

I know. Stick with it.

I'm right here.

I'm not going anywhere.

Feel it. Open up.

Let your hands go. Open up.

Don't put that armour back up.

Don't put that shield back up.

She's gone.

And what do you feel about that?

Sad.

Feel that sadness.

Don't stop it. Don't run from it.

Feel it.

May I touch your jaw?

Just relax your mouth. May I touch

it?

Trust me. May I touch your jaw?

Yes. OK, relax your mouth.

Open it up a little bit. Open it up

a little bit.

Just relax, let it go.

And just breathe.

Breathe through here.

Breathe in.

Yeah. Keep breathing.

Just breathe.

It's been a long time since your

body...

Breathe.

Yeah.

Relax your jaw. Relax it.

Let it go, let it go.

Let it open, let it open.

Breathe.

HE BREATHES IRREGULARLY

Yeah, yeah.

Breathe. There it is, there it is.

We've all got your back. Breathe.

Breathe. We've all got your back.

Breathe, bring it up.

Bring it up.

HE SOBS

Let it go. Let it go.

Let it go.

HE CRIES

Let it go.

Lie down.

It's been in there too long.

Don't hold it in.

HE SOBS

OH, GOD DAMMIT!

Yeah, that's it, that's it.

Tell him you're right here. I'm

right here.

I'm right here with you, brother.

HE CRIES

I'm right here, brother. Stay with

it.

HE SCREAMS

Let him let it out. God...damn it!

Damn it! Damn you!

That's right.

What the hell did you...?

Agh! Goddammit!

It hurts, I know it hurts.

Let it out. Breathe.

Breathe, breathe. That's it, bro, go

ahead.

Go ahead. Agh! I'm still here, I'm

still here.

I'm still here. Agh!

I'm still here. Ugh! We're right

here. Ugh!

Where you at right now? Talk to me.

Where you at? Ugh!

Talk to me.

I'm right here, I'm right here.

Just talk to me.

Let me know where you at.

HE CATCHES BREATH

Talk to me. Ugh!

Don't hide it. Don't run.

Come here. Take it in. Yeah.

It's already done. Don't run, come

here.

It's fucked up, I feel it.

Yeah? That's not fucked up.

You know what I'm saying? Charles,

it's fucked up if you don't.

Just feel it. Just feel it.

I didn't expect this shit. No.

No, you wouldn't have came if you

did.

Just let it be.

I'm right here. I'm right here.

Let's get some water.

Where you at? Talk to me. I'm tired.

You're tired, yeah. You're tired.

OK. That's good work.

LAUGHTER

There you go, man.

No punches! No punches.

All right. Man...

I know I don't know you like that,

man, but...

Tell him. Tell him. Tell him.

It meant a lot, yeah, like, you...

Keep it up, keep it up.

You got me. For real.

That took a lot of fucking balls to

do what you just did.

You know what I'm saying?

OK. You can tell you're a very, very

proud motherfucker, you know what

I'm saying?

That was some...

That was some real, real shit, man,

for real.

That fucked me up. Thank you.

Well, any man can start.

Let's check in, to check out for the

evening.

I'm checking in and checking out.

Uh...

Yeah, that was overwhelming.

But it was needed and it was

necessary.

And I'm very, very, very grateful,

from my heart.

I'm out with that.

I got big love for you, Kiks.

Big love.

There's no words. I ain't even going

to even try and belittle it with

words.

I'm out.

Er...

I'm having an impossible time not

judging what the fuck's going on.

I'm placing all sorts of fucking

values on the work that I saw,

the help of the work, er...

And, er...

I don't like being in that place,

because...

I'm just kind of struggling.

Erm...

I don't like judging all this shit,

but that's what I fucking do.

You did a good job, you did

an all right job, you know?

You ran a quarter of a mile, you've

still got three more to fucking go.

Um...

And that's it. I'm out. Thank you.

I like my two guys a lot.

I think they, er...

I think they want...

..they want me to crack.

They keep, like, waiting for me

to, like, er, to do something.

So... I don't know.

Like, I realise that we live in a

society where we shy away from,

you know... Showing emotion.

..showing emotion and expressing

ourselves through tears

but, I mean, I don't...

I don't think that that's a

necessity, either,

in a situation like this,

that you have to start crying.

I think in the case of Kiki, he did.

That's what he was there for. Right.

He said, "I need to mourn

for my sister,"

and they got him there,

and that was exactly what he needed.

But I didn't come here

looking to cry,

and I don't want to feel like

I'm letting them down if I don't.

Hm!

Find a chair and

let's go into silence.

Please sit down, find your chair...

..and let's go into silence,

gentlemen.

This whole process of

going down into the wound...

..is not an end in itself.

We're looking for something

and we're bringing something back

out of that descent.

So listen for it in this poem.

It comes right in the last line.

"Those who will not slip beneath the

still surface on the well of grief,

"drifting downward through the black

water to the place we cannot breathe

"can never know the source

from which we drink.

"The secret water, cold and clear."

Now, listen... "Nor find in the

darkness glimmering

"the small, round coins

"thrown away by those who wished

for something else."

Hey, can we...

..kind of try something here

to where we just...

..just go round and name our

betrayals,

where we've been betrayed?

And just so you know,

I have no agenda.

I have no process...

..and I...

I know you're going to judge me.

I want you to know that.

Because I'm judging you judging me.

Whew...

My earliest memory is when

I'm, like, three years old...

..and I'm standing there

in a fucking diaper...

..and my real dad just got home

from the Navy,

and I don't know who the fuck he is.

And he's got this fucking

battery-operated robot

that's flashing and making all kinds

of weird-ass fucking noises...

..and he wants me to come get it.

I don't want that

motherfucking thing.

I don't know who the dude is.

I don't want nothing to do with him.

He tells me, "Ricky, come get this."

And I'm scared.

So, he walks over

and he slaps the shit out of me,

and he goes back and sits on the

steps, tells me, "Come get this."

And we played that out

for I don't know how long.

In my mind, it's...hours.

And my whole life has followed

with events just like that one.

And I don't know who my real dad

is, either.

I know when I started fucking up

enough when I was 15,

they sent me to live with some dude

who said that he was my dad,

and he's a piece of shit.

He's a fucking drunk, he's a liar,

he's got a 14-year-old girlfriend -

and I had 15 years' worth of rage

I wanted to give to him.

I hurt that motherfucker every way

I knew how to hurt him...

..and then I heard the same story -

"You're fucking crazy, you're crazy,

lock him up."

People's betrayed me my whole life.

The bike gang I was a member of -

once I got locked up and I was no

use to them no more, they were done.

The people I was willing to kill

and die for, they were done.

I don't know what love

really looks like.

I'm just now fucking learning.

47 years old

and I'm just now learning.

I don't want to fucking be violent -

and that's what I know how to do.

I'm out.

Growing up,

all my homeboys and them,

everybody had their father to do

shit with, you know what I mean?

I had a man that helped raise me,

but he wasn't my father.

You know what I'm saying?

You know, and...

..he was in prison in Louisiana

when I was born...

..and, er, I read a couple of

letters that he wrote to my mother.

He never referred to me as "my son",

you know.

It was like, "How's the baby?"

And...

It was fucked up, man.

I mean, how can you not want

to see your child?

You know what I'm saying?

I'm a good motherfucker.

At least, I think so. You know?

And that shit hurts, man,

cos, you know, I don't know my...

..never knew my place in this world,

you know what I'm saying?

You know, nobody to teach me

how to be a man.

I had to do that shit on my own,

you know?

I don't even know all the story,

I don't even know if he even

walked out of prison.

You know what I mean? But I just

felt that, you know, if he did...

..you know, he knew where I was.

You know what I'm saying?

I felt that he should have

fucking tried to find me.

You know, I'll be

41 years old next year...

Well, next month. And, erm...

I've always felt that empty spot

in my life, man.

Like I was always missing something,

like a part of me.

You know, and... And that's

some hurtful-ass shit, man.

That's some hurtful-ass shit.

But... No buts.

No buts. And.

"But" takes away everything

that came before, so...

Every day.

I just try to be...

..what he wasn't to my...

I try to be to my kids

what he was not for me.

Well, explain that. How are you

able to fill that space?

Number one, being there.

Constantly letting them know

how much I love them.

Not just through material things,

but actually saying the words,

giving them hugs and kisses,

you know.

Encouragement. Do you think they

feel any of that sadness that you

pour out in an attempt

to feed them love?

Yes. Yeah.

So, what's...? There's some sadness

that's right there on the verge

right now. Why won't you let it out?

I thought I did.

It's right there. And then you

started biting your lip.

Almost as if to hold it in,

to keep it from coming out.

What you think will happen

if it comes out, man?

If that overwhelming sadness

starts to come up out of you,

what do you think will happen?

I couldn't tell you. Right.

But what do you think will happen?

I know you don't know,

but what do you think will happen?

If this is... If this is the limit

of where you can get to right now,

this is where you can get to.

We're not measuring shit.

So if you're completely, you know,

you're good with where you're at

right now, then let's move around,

keep going round the circle.

This ain't easy, you know. And for

the first time, it's really not

easy.

So...

So, um...

I mean, there's so many

motherfucking betrayals.

I've visited my betrayals

over and over and over again.

Um...

I think the one that...

..that I absolutely feel like is a

betrayal and happened when I was

about 16 or 17,

and this older brother

kind of took me under his wing.

He treated me like

his little brother.

He taught me how to drink.

He taught me how to smoke weed.

He taught me how to do all this

shit. And he... And I trusted him.

And I started to open

my heart to him.

And, uh...

It was my first sexual experience

with this woman and I told him about

it.

And this motherfucker...

We were working together, and I go

to work the next day and this

motherfucker, he's told everybody

about the shit that I had told him

that I thought was... Sacred.

Was sacred, safe.

And then when I brought it to the

motherfucker, what he tells me is,

"Oh, you pussy motherfucker.

"You just finally got some pussy,

so what you tripping about?!"

And that shit hurt me.

And from that point forward,

I made a conscious decision that

nobody would ever get me in that

position again where

I feel like that.

Nobody, ever.

And what I decided to do was that

not only was I not going to feel

hurt about that, I wasn't going to

feel hurt about any fucking thing.

So the next thing was getting high.

The next thing after

that was heroin.

I was a heroin addict for 22 years

because I didn't want to fucking

feel.

Can I say something?

When you were talking

about how this guy, uh,

aired your laundry, and I think the

word you were looking for was

"sacred"

cos Lonnie said it, um...

And you weren't going to show

anybody whatever you connect to the

sacred thing inside of you, whatever

feelings, but what I noticed about

you...

Again, I don't know

if this is accurate or not.

..is that you wear this sacred stuff

so everybody can see it.

But what you told

me, at least, what I heard a second

ago was that that's not what you're

showing people. So that's something

that keeps me kind of distant from

you. Which may be my own

head fucking trip.

Is it? Yeah, I want to know that.

Is that your head trip? Which part?

All this you just said.

That capacity to...

The capacity to judge me,

motherfucker. That.

To judge me when I'm telling you

I'm putting my motherfucking heart

out there. Is that your

motherfucking head trip?

Is that what you do,

sit there and judge me?

That's what I just did. Right.

This is what you do, Brian.

Is that what you do in your life?

Cos that shit you just said

was un-fucking-necessary.

Was it untrue?

Yeah, it's untrue, bitch!

Let's do this. Hold on, hold on.

Did I call you a bitch? Hold on,

hold on! Hold on.

Did I? Hold on. Hold on.

Let's put this where it belongs,

not where it can go.

OK? And right now

where it belongs...

Look at me, Brian.

Look at me.

What's going on, Brian?

HE SHRIEKS IN RAGE

It's just like the fucking devil.

It's in there, and, as long

as you keep biting this down,

it's not going anywhere.

Don't bite it back down.

You're right there.

Look back over the edge.

Let's go back over the edge.

Now is the chance to see

what you've got in there.

Now's the chance to measure

yourself to see where you're at.

To see where you stack up

against your own standards.

We already know

you can bite it down.

Can you let it out?

Can you let it loose?

I just want to fucking kill people

when I feel disrespected.

I just want to fucking kill.

Yeah.

My fucking brain

starts to short-circuit.

I... I hear you, Brian.

You know what came up with me,

Brian, that had that come out of me?

Anger and betrayal.

Because what I was talking about

just then was how I put my feelings

out there.

And then get it turned into

something else,

and for me what I experienced just

then was just that, betrayal.

HE CRIES

It doesn't matter what I do here,

I'm not going to get

the respect that I want...

..or that I think I deserve

or some bullshit like that.

I'm just not going

to fucking get it.

I'm just not.

So what do we do? What do you

want to have happen here?

What will get you to a place where

you think there's a possibility

rather than you being so secure

in knowing no matter what I do it's

not going to work, it's going to be

the same?

I just don't know

what to do with it.

I hear you. That's good.

So, are you open to suggestion

of what it could look like?

Are you willing to trust without

thinking and then drawing away?

Yeah, I instantly want to go to

"Is it big enough?"

Oh, I get all of what your mind says

which is in the draw-away process.

I'm asking you,

are you willing

to simply trust a process to step

through the motions and not worry

about whether it's going to work

or not or what the "it" is?

Are you willing to do that? Yes.

OK.

You guys stand up. If anybody's got

any physical body issues, I want to

know it, need to know it, because

this is going to be physical work.

And what I want you to do is I want

you to know that we are all here

hoping for things that

you say can't happen.

HE SCREAMS

Get the fuck off of me!

Get the fuck

off of me, motherfuckers!

In you... Get the fuck...

It's in you.

Motherfucker... It's in you.

Get your fucking arms off me,

you fucker...

Let it out. Let it out. Let it out.

Fucking shit! Let it out.

Let it out, Brian. Fucking shit!

Let it out. Motherfucker.

Goddamn it!

Stay down. Stay down.

Motherfucking goddamn it!

HE SCREAMS

Let it out. Let it go.

Open your eyes. Open your eyes.

You need to be able to see

what's going on with you.

Look at me, Brian.

Yeah, who am I, Brian? Who am I?

My dad said I didn't have this.

Yeah, that's right. Who am I?

Look at me. Who am I? When you

look at me, who am I?

Do it. Do it, there you go.

Yeah. That's it. That's right.

Open your eyes. Give it a noise.

Give it a noise.

Cos everybody's

getting this sideways.

Holler! Everybody's getting

this sideways, Brian.

Girlfriends, friends, strangers...

Let it out. Keep your eyes open.

Keep your eyes open.

I'm fucking telling you, man,

let me go. All right. All right.

This is about letting energy go.

That's all it's about. Yeah?

Giving yourself permission

to let energy go.

What are you feeling right now? Like

I've still got something to prove to

you guys.

Yeah. What do you still have

to prove?

That's helping. Did he do more?

Cos I want to fucking do more.

No.

Is that Dad's voice? This is not

enough, you'll never have enough?

Is that Dad's voice?

Keep your head up. I don't

know whose voice it is.

Now it's my voice.

It's not your voice.

But is it familiar? Is it a voice

that says you're self-judging?

I would just close,

shut down when he would...

Sports, all that shit. Shut down.

You didn't just make that shit up.

That's a tool. You made that tool

somewhere for a reason.

Let's go back to being not good

enough for my dad,

not good enough at sports.

Yeah, that's where I'm standing now.

Postpone it. I've got to prove

more to you guys. Exactly.

Do you want to do one more?

Are you willing to go into the well

and just bring something up?

That's all we're doing here.

This is just a start.

There are not going

to be any scorecards.

I guess I can't go any harder

than I did. I could just do it

again and again. That's more

and more. That's the truth.

Are you willing to try that?

Do you want to do that?

I don't need to, when I

think of it that way.

OK. You said you don't need to.

You're saying you don't need to.

When you think about it like that,

you don't need to.

That's power, you're giving

yourself power right there, dude.

That's another way to look at it.

You don't need to do it

again and again.

You don't need to prove anything...

..to anybody. That's your power.

So, Brian, these are steps. You've

taken one. It doesn't get fixed here

like a light switch

being flipped. I know.

Get that.

So I want to say something.

This doesn't mean anything.

It's actually stupid.

But I'm moved to say it.

Um... When you go back out in the

world and people go,

"What happened to your head?",

you can say, "Oh, I was in Folsom.

"I was fighting in prison."

LAUGHTER

And that pretty much puts a cap on

any concept of competing or

competition.

So you may want to keep

that fresh up there.

Tell them there was a bunch

of dudes jumped me...

Seven of them. ..and this

is all they could do.

This is all they could do. No, but

seven... He fought seven convicts.

I ain't never done that.

Hey, Brian, bless your heart, man.

Bless your heart.

Can you take that in?

Looks like it's touching something.

Yeah.

And you know what I do when I...

You remind me sometimes of me a

little bit, and getting in touch

with that.

I used to put my head down and then

I learned to cry like a man,

which was, like, up here.

And with your chin up

and just let it roll, brah.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful,

seeing you in a natural state.

Yeah, yeah.

I did not like you.

I had the same disease you did.

I had gangs

and gangs with judgments.

I changed my view on you.

You are a lot like me.

You think too much.

You judge too much.

But you're a pretty courageous dude.

You didn't quit, and I seen you

fight yourself so you wouldn't quit.

And I connected with that.

See?

You know, we just started getting

close. I'm doing good.

I'm trying to change my ways

and trying to quit gangbanging

and everything to where...where

he can... OK, well,

my dad is in prison but he's a good

dude, you know what I'm saying?

Right. He's still trying to...

You know what I'm saying?

He even changed and everything.

There's negative, negative things

about his self, he knows it.

You know what I'm saying?

And be the best I

can be for him, so he can say...

I'm half-ass proud of me,

and stuff. Right. And she took him.

She just don't come no more?

Yeah, she won't bring him.

You know, but she told me she will,

but it's just gangs and stuff. Yeah.

I'm tired of trying to see, man.

There's not nothing I can do

to make it work, man.

Yeah. I tried.

Yeah. Nothing I can do or say, man.

Let me just see my son.

Yeah.

So I want you to hear this, man,

that we all have these things

that we have to create for ourselves

to keep going from day to day,

whether we're in here or we're

out there. I have them too.

And I had to find something,

something to hold on to, you know?

I've got to find something to hold

on to, and if I've got to create it

for myself, then I've got

to create it for myself.

I'm dealing with too much

pressure from the system, man,

and just being in jail

and incarcerated.

I mean, I can die, man, any day,

man, and wouldn't nobody even know,

wouldn't nobody even care,

and they'll just bury me somewhere

on this prison ground or something.

This shit don't work, man.

It's not working.

It doesn't work, man. I'm ready

to just quit this shit, man,

and whatever happens, man,

happens, man.

I just want to sit next

to you now, that's all.

That's all. Just sit next to you.

I'll just sit next to you.

I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, man.

Not very often, someone will take me

to a place I don't know where to go,

and I'm sitting there right now,

and I'm sorry.

It's sad, man.

I mean...

Facing one of my fears by,

you know, agreeing to do this,

you know, and...

I know why I fear this so much,

it's fucked up in here.

You know? Um...

It's dark, it's scary,

it's depressing.

You know, and...

All he wants to do

is see his son, man.

That's it.

All he wants to do

is see his baby boy.

That hurts me.

It hurts me a lot.

I've never felt like

I couldn't go on.

This shit's breaking my heart, man,

like for real, for real.

And I pray to God, man, that you

find some type of hope to live.

Don't give up, man, please.

I don't know you like that,

but I feel you.

Don't give up, man.

Seriously, do not give up.

Fight to live every single day,

man, for real.

Fight for your son, man.

Nothing else.

He's going to need you.

I've got something I need to do.

Stand up.

That shit that you're talking

about doing is bullshit...

..and you know it.

That's bullshit.

That's the coward's way out

that you're trying to take.

Ain't no cowards where I'm from.

What I need you to do is grow the

fuck up and do what you've got to do

for little Dante.

Do you hear me?

Do you feel me?

I feel you, man.

Can I get that?

WHISPERS: I need you to do that

for me, please.

I need you to do that for me.

Give me some time.

Give me a little bit of time.

Can you give me some time so we can

try to figure out a way to work

something out?

Can you give me that?

I don't know. Give me three months.

Give me three months.

If we ain't came up with a solution

in three months for something,

then you can do whatever

you want to do.

Can I get 90 days?

Thank you.

90 days. Give me 90 days and we'll

figure something out, all right?

All right.

Clean yourself up.

People are looking.

SCREAMING FROM ACROSS ROOM

I'm good, man. Let's...let's move

on.

Let's move on.

Let's pull together right now. Stand

up. Get together before something

fucking weird happens right now.

We've got to get together. We've got

to be so close, we can't even have

the space to have anything

fuck it up right now.

Just feel what happened.

CRYING

Oh, God...

I'm tired of motherfuckers

getting hurt.

I'm tired of us getting on

the fucking edge and giving up.

So let's remember Don,

he talked about the intent,

right there next to the wound,

right there next to the pain.

When we go deep and we go

down to the bottom,

right there next to where we hurt

the most is where our medicine is

at.

Let's remember that. Stretched,

like you said, Rick, stretched.

We've got to get stretched to be

able to come back with them shiny

coins.

Somebody's got to have

some shiny coins.

The coins have all

got blood on them.

Yeah. They're still gold.

I'm tired of the blood.

So let's wipe them off.

Tired of the blood.

I'm fucking tired of

the people I love giving up!

Don't!

Dammit, what are we doing?

When do I give up?

That's right. When do I give up?

That's right.

Why can't we be enough to hang on

to?

OK, so here's what

we're going to do.

Erm, you're going to have your

guides help you build a little fort,

a little place of security.

We've got some mattresses.

We've got blankets. And your guides

have done this, so they'll...

They know how to do it.

But find a spot where

you feel safe...

..and then build yourself

a little cave,

a little fort.

Have your guides guard you and

remember that they're awake for you

so that nobody will bother you.

So we're going to begin

to lower the lights.

I want you to follow my voice.

And I want you to

follow my instructions.

I want you to imagine you're

floating above your own body.

I want you to imagine...

..floating higher and higher.

As you float...

..right through...

..the roof of this building.

Nothing can harm you.

Nothing can touch you.

As you move further and higher

and further away from this place...

..until there is no place.

And then off in the distance,

you see something.

It's a little dot at first,

a small something.

But you look up and you're looking

into the face of a child.

You're looking into the face

of you when you were a boy.

And you're asking,

"What is the deepest need?"

What's the thing you needed?

What is it, the thing that

would have kept you safe...

..made you grow up whole,

balanced, healthy?

And he reaches up and he grabs your

ear with one little hand and he

pulls it down and

he whispers in your ear...

..that deepest need,

that thing that he

would have needed...

..to grow in the direction that you

would have wanted him to grow in.

And when you're ready...

..I want you to write down

your little boy's deepest need.

Thanks.

CRYING

I didn't expect it.

Someone put out an invitation for

the men who just took this journey

to share about their experience,

share what they have in their

journal.

Laying in the fort with my boys

on the side of me...

..I still felt vulnerable.

Not physically, but emotionally

I felt vulnerable.

Then when the drums started going

and you started talking and I left,

I was gone, you know.

I forgot I was even here.

And I saw, you know,

little seven-year-old Charles,

Jackson 5 afro,

you know what I mean?

You know.

Do you know what I'm saying?

I brought back...

..to be able to be a kid and not

move from place to place.

To have a real father.

To not have to grow up so fast

and take care of everything and

everybody and to be

an actual family.

I'm out.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Phew, that was deep.

Something that I've done for a long

time is to rub the back of my thumb

and I probably started it

when I was, like, seven maybe

and it used to bug

the shit out of my dad.

But I think it just reminds me...

..of the softness.

Anyway, the little boy...

His deepest need is to

not be told what to do.

Thank you. Bless you, Brian.

I guess I'll go next.

I've been kind of emotionally

detached from this whole thing and I

didn't really think or give it the

credit that it would get me at all.

And I'll be honest, we got in there

and that music started and I was

like,

"What is this hokey shit?

"This is like space music."

And I was like... And I didn't...

I know that sounds harsh

but that's what I do.

I'm always framing it.

I frame my experiences so that

I can laugh about them later

and I went with it,

which I don't normally do,

and I haven't cried in, like...

..I don't know how long.

It felt good.

And basically all I brought back was

an image of myself when I was happy.

And I've got a little red hoodie on,

a little metal zipper and...

Yeah, I think I'm in with that,

because I was out

for the whole other time.

LAUGHTER

Nice to see you showed up, man.

Good to see you. I'm clocking in,

only a little tardy.

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

There was a few times today that...

..emotions really tugged at me

and something kept telling me, man,

jump in there, jump in the fire,

jump in the fire.

And every time I get to that place,

I run, you know?

I pack up and I leave.

But I'm checking out with a...

..little bit of joy, though, because

I feel I have gotten a lot closer to

Chris.

So I'm checking out

with that. I'm out.

I hate this shit.

I want to beat the shit

out of somebody, man.

And I've done that too many times.

Yeah.

When my mom and dad got split up,

I lived with my mom,

because my dad was alone and I felt

like he needed one of his sons to be

with him. I told my mom that I

wanted to live with my dad,

and she didn't want me to, she kept

telling me what kind of a scumbag he

is and he's all these bad things.

And I didn't believe her. I said,

"No, he's not all that, you're

lying."

But every time he fell

I picked him up.

Every time he needed something,

I was there.

Whenever he needed his son,

I was there.

I feel like it was all just a

fucking scam because everything he

fucking taught me has got me here!

I didn't know how much my mom needed

me, I didn't even think about that!

Yeah.

That's right.

I don't know why I betrayed her!

HE CRIES

We're all going to go home,

we're all going to go home.

I just fucking hurt people, man.

I know, I know.

I don't want to hurt anybody

no more. No, no, no.

You're done.

I don't want to hurt

anybody no more.

You're done.

I'm here for you.

We're here already.

We're already here,

let's keep doing it.

We're already here.

We're already here. We have

stood by you, pal, come on.

You stood by me.

Let your pain out.

We're already there,

pal, just let it go.

We're already there.

I know how it feels.

Just stand up.

Come on, don't do it, man.

Don't do it.

He's gone.

CHANTING

Um...

The betrayal that I...

..I'm hesitant to share...

YELLING FROM ACROSS ROOM

..for whatever reason...

..comes from my dad.

And it feels to me so much smaller

than a lot of the things that have

happened to many other people,

so I also get frustrated

even that I feel it at all.

But I will keep it short.

I have a very clean memory,

a very vivid memory of...

My dad used to work on cars a lot,

and he used to spend a lot

of time in the garage.

And I know at one point

I tried to help him.

It was probably something small,

and I think I went out there and he

needed a particular tool,

and I couldn't find it, I couldn't

see it, I didn't know what it was,

and he tried to describe it to me,

and I couldn't find it, and I...

And I brought it back to him,

what I thought it was, and he said,

"That's not it." And I kept going

back and forth, finally he said,

"I'll do it myself." And he went and

he grabbed it and he said,

"Just go back inside.

"Go back with your mom."

He did that a lot when I was

growing up, he always wanted...

I always tried to make the effort

and I got kind of shut down.

And I haven't yet figured out why,

but it really bothers me.

Well, if you did know why...

..what would the reason be

that it would bother you?

I don't know, I just wanted

to be out there with him.

And he wouldn't let me.

I feel really dumb.

You're doing good,

you're doing real good.

He didn't mean to hurt me, though.

I'm not mad at him.

I feel bad telling this story.

Have you ever had the chance

to tell your dad

how much that hurt you?

No.

Is that something that

you'd be willing to do?

Tell him? Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

I'd like to tell him that someday.

Well, I mean, we can create the

space for you to do it today.

If there was somebody

in the circle here

that can hold the energy

of your father,

somebody in here that you see

that holds qualities and energy

like your father does.

Can I tell you? Yeah.

I... So, where do you want me?

That's fine right there.

I just want to help you.

We can work on the car together.

And you can teach me some things.

What was the message you got?

What's the story? You said, "I'll do

it by myself, go back in the house."

What's the message you got?

That I...

I wasn't going to be

the man he wanted me to be.

Right, and so you've been carrying

that for a while, right?

Right? Yeah. Yeah.

And how has that played out

in your life?

I haven't known how to beat it,

really. So what does that look like?

How have you carried

that in your life?

Through your jobs?

Your relationships?

I can't come in to any of it.

It just scares me, I don't know why.

I don't know what I'm doing here.

Then, that's good.

You know, why I'm crying.

That's perfect, that's perfect.

That's perfect.

You're doing perfect.

And it starts here. You've already

started your work. Stand up.

This is what happens. You've got

to deal with your father.

You signed a contract

the moment you walked in that house.

That last time you

walked in the house,

you cut a contract with your father

to feel as though you are the guy

that cannot get the job done.

And it's haunted it. You've used it.

You've fulfilled the contract that's

haunted you throughout your life.

And your whole body tells me

that's true right now.

All right? I know that truth hurts.

So here's what you're going to do.

Each one of these men identifies

something, some sort of a block.

Your job is to get through this.

Are you tracking with that? Yeah.

Turn around, turn around

and face him now.

Look at me.

Now, stand up. Fucking stand up.

There, you're taller

than me right now.

Do you get that?

You're stronger, you're stronger.

Look at...

Stand up.

And hurt.

Know that it's OK to hurt,

know that it's just fine.

You've got some bad dudes

that got your back.

And even though you've got us at

your back, turn around and face

these things in your life

and see what it's cost you.

What's it cost you

when you're down here?

What's it cost you?

Yeah. Yeah.

It is, just now, the whole first

day, I couldn't feel anything.

I couldn't commit to anything.

So, this man's going to point you

towards what that represents,

that you can't feel.

Yes.

Walk up to the arm.

Put your chest on the arm.

Put your chest on the arm

and look at what it's cost you.

Go back in the house

with your mother.

With some intention. Stand up

straight, stand up straight.

Go back in the house...

Stand up straight.

..with your mother!

Stand up straight.

I don't need you out here.

This is not using your chest, son.

Don't look at me like that.

You know what you need,

you can take care of yourself.

Go back in the house with your

mother. Don't listen to that shit.

Don't listen to that.

I said, go back...

Open your mouth and start

teaching this guy.

I don't need you out here.

Open your mouth and start teaching!

I don't know how to work this.

Yeah, that's the problem.

You're going to have to make...

What would it look like working?

What would it look like to have some

intention about getting past these

arms?

Stand up to this guy. Let him just

go back in the house with his

mother.

Take some steps back.

Just take some steps back.

Don't step back!

Step back some more.

Don't step back!

That's it, that's it!

I got your back!

Keep it coming, I got your back.

Tell him, Chris!

Go back in the house.

Go back!

Hey, Chris, you go for it!

Stay focused with this.

You go. Keep your eyes on this!

Keep pushing, Chris!

Stand up. Stand up.

Right there. Tell him.

Tell him! Tell him, right now.

One voice, one voice!

Quiet!

One voice.

I'm good enough.

You better fucking believe

you're good enough.

I'm good enough! That's it.

That's right, man. I am good enough.

Yes, goddamn right!

I believe you now.

What about later?

It's not up to you.

That's right. That's right, man.

Damn right. OK.

Ha-ha! I got it, my brother.

Stand on your own, Chris. Thank you.

I've been waiting on you.

Oh, I've been waiting on you.

Glad to see you.

You did good, thank you.

I mean that.

I'm checking out.

I used to have a '67 Shovelhead

that would get to 147mph

before it would try to bump me off.

Every time I'd push it right

up to that motherfucking edge,

and it starts shaking and rattling,

and I'd bring it back down.

I'd throw the kickstand

down and say, "WHOO!"

That's how I felt today.

I love God.

I love life.

And I love adrenaline edges.

And in this place, it's hard to get

to that fucking edge for me...

..without it being a bad thing.

So, when days like today's

happens...

..and I get pulled as far apart

as I can be pulled...

..I'm alive.

I'm alive and I'm fucking grateful.

I'm out.

I feel good, man. I feel blessed.

Know what I'm saying? I felt I got

some more strength, man.

Hell, no. That's it, I'm out.

Thank you.

Dark Cloud.

Spirit name is Blackbird,

sometimes with White Owl.

I walked in that store, you know,

not really grasped

the entirety of it.

It hurts. It feels good.

I'm ready for another round.

I'm out with that.

Hi, I'm Chris, checking out

with a sense of satisfaction...

..that's new to me.

I'm not normally comfortable

with new things,

but this one seems to be a good fit.

And I think I've said

all I need to say.

I'm checking out.

Whoo!

You know, I've often wondered why I

was put here on the planet and,

for me, it's become real clear

it's about the fatherless sons.

I was a fatherless son.

My father was a fatherless son.

My grandfather was a fatherless son.

And my son, for a long time in his

life, was a fatherless son.

I don't have a right to tell another

man what to do with his life.

But I can tell another man

what the consequences may be

for one fatherless son.

And so, right now, I have some

sadness and some joy.

I'm sad because

of the fatherless sons.

And I have some joy because things

like this happen and circles

like this, in other places, happen.

So, then, if one father...

..can go through what he needs to go

through to be there for his son,

then all of this shit is worth it.

All of it.

I've seen what this work can do.

I've seen it. I've felt it,

I've experienced it.

It's The Work, y'all.

It's The Work.

The Work (2017) - full transcript

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