The Wife Takes a Flyer (1942) - full transcript

Major Zellfritz...

Heil Hitler.
ALL: Heil Hitler.

Last night we shot down
another British flyer.

Another?
Good, ja, good.
That makes 10 this week.

Ten? Oh, good.
We only lost 18 flyers
this week.

Last week we got
12 British flyers
and we only lost 54.

The week before we got 18
and we only lost 68.

If this keeps up,
pretty soon
no more British flyers.

Heil Hitler.
ALL: Heil Hitler.

Our planes got him while
contacting a secret radio
station north of Amsterdam.

Good, then any information
he got is worthless now
that he is dead.



But he is not dead.

Heil Hitler.
ALL: Heil Hitler.

You man the place?
Ja, Ja, he's not dead?

Heil Hitler.
ALL: Heil Hitler.

Is not dead?
No.

Heil Hitler.
ALL: Heil Hitler.

His plane crashed,
plane crashed.

Heil Hitler.
ALL: Heil Hitler.

And he bailed out.
Heil Hitler.

ALL: Heil Hitler.
He was is in hiding.

We must search
for the British flyer

and the radio station will
be taken care of later on.

We clip his wings,
or he's a dead pigeon, ja.

Heil Hitler.
ALL: Heil Hitler.



Schmidt, you take charge
in searching the north side
of the city.

Schmutz, you take
the east.

Schloffer,
you take the south,

and you, Major,
the west end.

ALL: Heil Hitler.

ALL: Heil Hitler.

Remember, Major,

you will only search
for the British flyer,
nothing else.

Ja, I have eyes only
for the British flyer.
I look at nothing else.

Heil Hitler.
(FALTERING) Heil Hitler.

Go ahead. Mueller,
Mueller, Mueller,
Mueller, Mueller.

Slower, Mueller, slower.

Stop, Mueller, stop.

(BELL RINGING)

Oh, I do not remember
seeing those legs
in the last census.

Perhaps,
we should investigate.

After all,
these are war times.

Alien legs should be
regarded with suspicion.
Ja, ja.

No. I will investigate
this myself.

Get my other uniforms.

Uh, I may change
my billet tonight,

my patriotic duty,
you understand,

and do not forget
my medals.

(BELL RINGING)

Who is billeted here?

Corporal Heidne of
the 4th Army of Occupation.

Corporal Heidne.
Heil Hitler.

How do you do?

What is it, Jan?

I am Mrs. Woverman.
Major Zellfritz.

Propaganda, press
and education.

Call Corporal Heidne.

I'm sorry to disturb you
but I must have quarters

in this section
of the city at once.

But we already have
a Corporal billeted here.

Government business.

It is imperative.

(STAMMERING)
I'm afraid we haven't room...
The Corporal.

Him? I will throw out.

Corporal Heidne,

there's an officer
down stairs,
wants to see you at once.

Oh, yes? Then you'd
better clean my room.

Well, first I have
to look after
Mr. Hendrik's room.

He's expected home tonight.

(SOLDIER GIVING COMMANDS)

Squad halt.

Hello, have you seen
anything of
that British flyer?

No, there's no sign
of him around here.

You know the penalty
for hiding one of the enemy?

Only too well.
Come.

Thanks.

This way, sir,
I'll let you in here.

But, Major, I tell you
that the Colonel himself

who was formerly
our butcher
gave me this place.

Do you question my orders?

No, sir, but this is
very comfortable, and...

Comfort? Bah,
we must be hard.

Report to your barracks
at once.

Heil Hitler.
Heil Hitler.

If you'll excuse me
I'll see about getting
your room ready.

This family bears
strict watching, sir.

They act most peculiarly.

ANITA: ...any longer.
Discuss it or not, you're not
going to divorce Hendrik.

I am, I tell you, I...

Excuse us.

You see what I mean?

Ja, ja, ja.

That's my daughter-in-law,
she's divorcing my son,
Hendrik, tomorrow.

Hmm... So...

He's returning from
the sanitarium tonight,

he's had a
nervous breakdown.

I think you are taking
advantage of the situation.

Yes, you're
very unfair.
Unfair?

Yes. Never has there
been a divorce
in the Woverman family.

I can't help that.

Children,
this is Major Zellfritz,
who is to be billeted here.

My son, Thomas.

So?

Maria, his wife,

and Anita,
my younger son's wife.

Charmed.

Her husband
returns tonight.

I shall be happy
to meet him.

Uh, please.

Now we shall all
get acquainted, uh?

First, I shall tell
you about myself.

Thanks for not
giving me away.

Oh, it's nothing, sir.

I'm afraid you can't stay.
There's a German
Corporal billeted here.

Oh, I don't want to stay.
I just need
some civilian clothes,

so I can get around.
I have several contacts
to make.

Oh, yes indeed.

Right here.
They're all prepared.

Haven't you something
less conspicuous
than tails?

This is just
an informal escape,
you know.

Oh, yes, yes,
indeed, sir.

What?

It looks like the moths
have been saving this
for a rainy day.

Here, this
should be all right.
This way, sir.

Will I pass
for a Dutchman?
Mmm-hmm.

Well, a bath would aid
the deception, sir.

Where?
Here, sir.

Where's the Cafe Savoy?

Near the Courthouse
Square, sir.

I have to be there
before it closes.

Well, curfew is at 9:30,

but I shouldn't go there
if I were you, sir.
It's an officer's hangout.

Oh, I'll be all right.

After all, anyone could go in
and have a cup of coffee,
can't he?

Oh, yes, sir,
if one cares for coffee
made from acorns.

They're even robbing
the squirrels now, sir.

Oh, I... I'll tell
Mrs. Woverman you're here.
I'll be right back, sir.

Oh, are you, uh,
leaving us, Corporal?

Yes.
Oh, I'll open the door.

That leaflet writing
Major is putting me out.

He's taking my quarters.

They want to put
the entire population in
a concentration camp,

but I say no, only the men.

Oh, now that you know
all about me,

you can regard me
as one of the family.
(DOOR OPENS)

(PANTING)

Oh, Jan, Major Zellfritz
will be quartered here.

Will you see that his room
is made ready?

Yes, madam.

Well, Jan,
don't just stand there.

Since I'm to live here
with you I would be very hurt

if you treat me
as a stranger.

I shall need
some fresh linens.

Oh, I'll get them for you.

You were discussing
your divorce, I believe.
Continue, please.

There is nothing more
to discuss.

As my brother's attorney,
I say there will
be no divorce.

And when my Thomas
says there won't be,
believe me, there won't be.

Thank you, my dear.
All you're thinking about
is alimony anyway.

That isn't true
and you know it.

Well, you may be sorry
when the wolf comes
to your door.

I'd rather have him
get me than Hendrik.

Now, really, Anita.
Oh, Thomas, please,
this is a private affair.

But there is nothing private,
the trial tomorrow
is public, is it not?

Yes.
Good.

(DOOR OPENS)

I shall go now
to my room now.

But... But Jan has not yet
had time to arrange things.

I shall go up and oversee
his work, so it can be
arranged to my liking.

But wouldn't you...
Wouldn't you like a cup
of coffee first, Major?

We have real coffee.

Real coffee, bah...

Impossible. After you.

Something must be wrong,
Mama's very upset.

Your daughter-in-law is a
charming woman, Mrs. Woverman,
a charming, charming woman.

(BELL RINGING)

The door, Major,
excuse me.

I'll answer it, Mama.

Heil Hitler.
Heil Hitler.

ZELLFRITZ:
You are looking
for the British flyer.

We are, Major.

You will show them around.

Come, all of you, quickly.

Lead the way,
Mrs. Woverman.

Oh, Anita,
what do you think...

Hendrik is home already.

Really? How delightful.
Follow.

Follow.

When did he
get here, Mama?

Just a little while ago.
He's in his room now.

Fine, as long as
he isn't in mine.
Ja, ja.

How is he looking,
Mama? Well, I hope.

Oh, he's changed a lot.

You probably won't even
recognize him, Anita.

You'll be surprised
how different he looks.

I'd recognize Hendrik,
no matter how he's changed.

Whose room is this?

Mine.
And this?

Yours. And that
is my son, Hendrik's.

Yes, that's as far away
as I could get him.

So, I am in the middle?
What a lovely position.

Uh, we will start here
and proceed systematically.

After you.

You, too.

Well, it's really not
a bad fit, sir.

A little drafty,
don't you think?

Mr. Hendrik does have
broad shoulders.

What? Down here?
I'll fix that, sir.

And look at this.
I'm practically naked
from wrist to elbow.

Well, couldn't you tuck
in the arms, sir?

I feel like Gargantua.

Hendrik. Stop making
faces at your wife.

Darling... I'd forgotten
how lovely you are.

(YELLS)

What a way to treat
a husband who has just
come from a sanitarium.

Yes. Yes,
and they treated me
very badly there too.

Please.
Oh, no,
don't push me away.

I need you so.

Why every night
at the sanitarium
was like a year.

A year of torture
without my angel.

(CHUCKLES)
Isn't he sweet, Major?

He always calls her angel

and never Anita.

Anita, my angel!

Oh, you'll never know
how they mistreated me,

how they beat me,
over the head.

Here, feel.
Now, see here.

MRS. WOVERMAN:
Don't be too hard
on him, Anita.

Hendrik, Anita is divorcing
you tomorrow.

What, so soon?

Yes.

So, you are Hendrik.

You must excuse
how he looks,
and how he acts.

The sanitarium, you know.

Yeah, of course.

My dear fellow,
you must bear all this
with fortitude.

After all,
a woman is a woman.

Not my Anita.

She's no ordinary woman.
She's one in a million.

Ja, ja,
one in a million.

Darling, look into
your heart.

Surely I must still
have a place there,

for the sake
of all we've meant
to each other,

for those
unforgettable moments
we've shared together...

Let's try again.

No, my mind is made up.

Well, at least
let's talk it over tonight.

All right, I'll...
I'll talk it over.

Oh, my angel,
you're so kind,
so forgiving.

A moment ago
you loathed him.

Oh, I know, but I...
She still loathes me.
I've been a beast.

Reconciliations are often
most unsatisfactory.

Do not be hasty,
my dear.

Nothing. Nothing.
Nothing?

Out. I shall see
you all at dinner

in one hour and no soup.

Now, would
you please explain?
Shh!

They have gone
downstairs.

You were magnificent.
Thanks.

Thanks to all of you.
Now, how can
I get out of here?

You can't go now.
We'd have to
make explanations.

It would put us in
a dangerous position.

Well, I know,
but I've got a job to do.

I have to contact a man.
Of course, I understand.

I realize we mustn't keep
you from your duty, only...

Sir, it has put the family
in serious danger.

Besides, the Major
heard you say

you were going to talk
to Anita tonight about
a reconciliation.

Uh, can't you stay
until morning?

It will be much safer for you,
the searching party
will be gone.

All right, till morning.

There, that's settled.

Wait a moment.
What about Hendrik?

He may arrive at any minute,
then what will we do?

Oh, you'll have to stick him
in a closet, a large closet.

(BELCHES)
An excellent dinner,
excellent.

No meat, but what of it?

I'm tired of meat.
I eat it three times a day.

You people are lucky.
Good bread, coffee...

What more can you ask?
Especially such coffee.

We used to be coffee
importers before...

My compliments. I enjoyed
your coffee almost as much as
the executions this morning.

The fools tried to assist
some English flyers.

Ja. I will like
living here with you,
fine coffee, good company.

(SNIFFS)
You smoke too much.

The Fuehrer never smokes.

He will someday.

You two, I watched you
very closely during dinner.

You hardly touched your food.

You seem nervous
about something.
Your divorce?

You're unusually
observant, Major.

Naturally, it is my training,
very little escapes me.

I rank very high in
the division of propaganda.

You know, during the first
three weeks of the campaign

I scattered
three million leaflets
over England.

Hmm, did they do
any damage, Major?

Irreparable damage.

They informed
the misled people
of the true situation.

Ah, but you never can
tell about the English.

It would be just like them
not to believe a word of 'em.

Ah, the family album.

Hmm.

I would like to see
what you all looked like
when you were young.

My grandparents.

Ah, a charming
Aryan couple, ja.

And my brothers
and sisters.
Ah!

Oh, that's me.

It does not look like you.

Well, naturally
I've changed a little,
haven't I, Mama?

Uh, yes, Hendrik,
uh, naturally.

Have you a baby picture
like this?

No, but I am going
to have one taken
some of these days.

This one
I can guess myself.

It is you and
your husband, eh?
Yes.

Taken on your wedding day,
of course.

Yes. That was
our wedding picture.

Hmm.

I would like very much
to see a picture of Hendrik
and you on your wedding day.

No! No wedding pictures,
rice, old shoes...

Look, here comes the bride.

No wedding pictures!
I can't stand them.

They drive me crazy.

No wedding pictures.
(GRUNTING)

There, there,
there, Hendrik. Be calm.

(GROWLING)

You must excuse him, Major.

He doesn't like
to remember anything
about his honeymoon.

(GASPS)

Hendrik, don't take on so.
Ruff!

No wedding pictures,
no honeymoon.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

It's a phobia, whenever
his wedding is mentioned
he has a seizure like that.

That is why we sent
him to the sanitarium.

Ja, ja, phobia, ja,
very interesting case.

I would like to know
more about it.

Oh, my angel, you soothe me,
you soothe me.

Please, stroke my head.

Go on, stroke,

stroke,

stroke, stroke.

Bah, do not coddle him.

After all,
he's a grown man.

I'm tired.

I want to go to bed.

Yes, yes, it's getting late.
You're right, Mama,

Maria, get our things.
9:30 curfew, you know.
Yes, Thomas.

No, stay a while.
You interest me very much.

I want to get to know
all of you better.

Tomorrow, Major.
I'm tired, and besides,

we have to get up
early in the morning.

Yes, indeed, your divorce is
the first case on the docket.
9:00 sharp.

I am free tomorrow morning.
I will be there.

But there...
There may not be
any divorce.

You forget my wife and I
are going to talk things
over tonight,

aren't we, darling?

Ah, yes. Yes, we are.

Do not take it so seriously.

You all look as if
you were going to
a court-martial.

(YAWNS)

I am getting sleepy.
Good night.

(BELL RINGING)

The door!
I'll get it, Mama.

Probably another
searching party.
I will take care of it.

(WHISPERING)
What if it's Hendrik?
What will we do?

I'll fix him.

It is a telegram.
What is this?

I was just telling them

there she stands
right in New York Harbor
all lit up like this.

Who?
The Statue of Liberty.

Liberty. Bah! Overrated.

Thank you.

So?

It's from Aunt Sophie.

Oh, Aunt Sophie.
What does she say?

Well, here.

Read it.

She says that she won't be
able to come in from
the country for a few days.

She's ill.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Oh, isn't that wonderful.

What?
Oh, what I mean is,
in a few days Hendrik

will be going back
to the sanitarium
and we'll have room for her.

I would like to see this.

Oh, you wouldn't
be interested.

Why not?
Oh, you don't know
Aunt Sophie.

Ja, ja, Sophie, no.

Mama, we really must go.
Come along, Maria.

Good night, Anita.
Good night, Hendrik, Mama.
Major, good night.

I... I hope you all have
a good night's rest.

And why not?

We all have clear consciences
or haven't we?

Come.

Well, good night, Mama.
Good night, Mother.

Good night.

Good night,
Mrs. Woverman.

Good night.

Oh, Hendrik.
Your room is over there,
is it not?

Why, yes, Major,
but I'm going in to talk
things over with my wife.

Oh, ja, I'd forgotten.

Good night.
Good night.

I have to wait till
he's safely inside his room.
Oh!

Good night.
Good night.

Oh, hello.

Hello.

I... I'm just going in
to get my slippers
and my robe.

Your robe?

Yes, you know,
something to wrap around
to keep you warm.

You mean it is cold in there?

Cold?
It's positively frigid.

Brr, excuse me, Major.

(DOOR CLOSES)

You have lost weight.

Yes.

Love wears
you down terribly.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(WHISPERING)
He's still snooping around.
We'll have to put on a show.

CHRIS: Darling,
let's not be foolish,

let's not throw away
our chance
for future happiness.

We're no good apart.
You must see that.

Let's start all over again.

Without you I couldn't live.

(WHISPERING)
Say something.
What'll I say?

Well, anything. Say,
"It's no use, Hendrik,

"you're no good,
you'll never be any good,
you'll never change."

It's no use, Hendrik,
you're no good,
you'll never...

Louder.

It's no use, Hendrik,
you're no good,

you'll never be any good.
You'll never change.

CHRIS: I will change,
I promise you.

I've changed already,
hadn't you noticed?

Don't cast me off like
an old shoe,

give your poor Hendrik
one more chance.

Remember what you said
at our wedding?

"For better or for worse,

"for richer for poorer,
till death do us part."

You are lovely.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

SOLDIER: Detail halt!

Sounds like
a searching party.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

ZELLFRITZ: What is it?

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

We found the British
flyer's parachute
in this neighborhood.

We must search
the house again.

How many times
must we be disturbed
by you dumbkopfs?

My husband and I are
trying to decide whether
to be divorced or not.

It is a very grave decision
we must make,
a delicate situation.

There may not be any modesty
left in your country,
but this is Holland.

Madame, you talk
against the Reich.

I talk against men
without the manners
of my grandmother's sow.

There is no British
flyer here.

It is your
responsibility, Major?

It is my responsibility.

Heil Hitler.
ZELLFRITZ: Heil Hitler.

(SOLDIER GIVING COMMANDS)

Thank you, Major.

Have you and Hendrik
come to any decision?

Not yet.
Do not give in too easily.

Fight him.

Yes, Major.

Maybe it would be better
if you two were
not together tonight?

I'm sure it would be
much better.

Fine. Ja, ja,
leave it to me.
I will fix it, ja. Ja.

(WHISPERING)
You were wonderful.

Magnificent. Terrific.

Careful now.
Well, you were okay.

You will excuse
the intrusion,

but it is verboten
to hold meetings of
more than one person.

It is also verboten
to whisper.

But, Major,
we're just talking.

Come, I will escort
you to your room.

Now, wait a minute.
After all, a husband
has some rights.

We will discuss your rights
in the morning, Hendrik.

Can't I even kiss her
good night?
It is verboten .

Out.

Auf Wiedersehen.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(PANTING)

Ja, ja, wunderbar.

Madam...

Madam, may I come in?

Madam!

Sorry, Major,
it is verboten .

Heil Hitler.

Why doesn't he come?
What could be keeping him?

A fine mess we're in,
all of us.

If he doesn't show up,
Major Zellfritz will
certainly investigate

and that means
the firing squad.

Oh, Thomas, don't say
such horrible things.

But he wouldn't do
that to us, he couldn't.

Something must have
happened to him.

I'm sure he'll keep
his promise and go through
with the divorce.

I can't help feeling
that we will all
remember this day.

We will, if we live.

MARIA: Thomas, please.

I should have stopped him
when I saw him

sneaking out of the house
this morning.

Uh, pardon,

my name is Bietjelboer,
Adolph Bietjelboer.
I'm a lawyer.

Do any of you need
the services of a lawyer?

I am a lawyer myself.
ZANTEN: So am I.

Oh, well, then
perhaps you might need
an assistant.

BOTH: No.

Well, I could carry
your law books.

I carry my knowledge
of the law up here.

I could carry your hat.

No.

Here comes the Major.
Uh, what Major?

Good morning.
Good morning.

But where's Hendrik?

Oh he... He went out
for a walk.

Perhaps he got lost.

Lost. In his native city?
Ridiculous.

Oh, Maria means that
if he suffers another attack
when he's out alone...

Ah, but he's not alone,
two of my men
are following him.

Two.

Routine precaution.

After all, we do not
want the trial
to be postponed, do we?

THOMAS: Here he comes.
Here...here he is.

Good morning, everybody.

Good morning, Mama,
my darling.

Glorious day.

Did you have
a nice walk, Hendrik?

Yes, thanks for
the escorts, Major.

Not at all. I was afraid
you might get lonesome.

We were worried about you.
Where did you go?
You needn't have worried.

I was in very good hands,
thanks to the Major.

Hendrik, did you make
any stops, see anybody?

No, we just walked.

Did anything happen?
Nothing.

Nothing?
Nothing.

Out.

Woverman vs. Woverman.

Courage, madam.
Tomorrow you will be free.

You're not going to help
her get this divorce,
are you?

With that wolf around,
don't worry.

Before opening
these proceedings,

I would like to ask both
these fine young people

whether they have done
everything possible

to come to an amicable
agreement and failed.

Mr. Woverman?

Your Honors,

I'd like nothing better than
to drop the entire matter
and take her home with me.

Do not be fooled
by him, fight.

You'll be much happier
without him.

JUDGE: And what have
you to say,
Mrs. Woverman?

No reconciliation.
No reconciliation.
No. No.

JUDGE: Well, Mrs. Woverman?

My client refuses
to consider a reconciliation.

Let your client
speak for herself.

Your Honors,
my mind is made up.

My husband is...
Is impossible.

The case will proceed.

Mrs. Woverman, how long
have you been married?

A little over a year.

You were married
in Amsterdam?

No, I met my husband
in Batavia.

My father was
an officer there.

And when did you
first become dissatisfied
with your marriage?

On my wedding day.

Were... Weren't you
being rather hasty?

I will ask the questions,
Mr. Woverman.

I'm sorry, Your Honor.

And what happened
on that particular day,
Mrs. Woverman?

Tell the court what he did
at the wedding ceremony.

My husband knocked
the minister down,
poor man.

Struck the minister?

No, he fell on him.
Hendrik was very drunk.

Ha, ja, ja, boiled, ja.

Well, I was excited
and happy, Your Honor.

It's not uncommon,
Your Honor,

for a man celebrating
his wedding to be, uh,

swept off his feet
by the occasion.

That was not
an isolated instance.

Is it not true that
all the time you lived
in Batavia...

Oh, in the tropics
everybody drinks like a fish.

Like a minnow, maybe,
or a barracuda,

but certainly,
not like a whale.

Tell the court what happened
on the boat back to Holland.

He beat up
the Second Officer.

The poor fellow had to
remain in his quarters
the rest of the trip.

ZANTEN: And that isn't all,
your Honors.
Oh, no, there's much more.

Tell the court what happened
on the fourth of April.

Isn't it true that
he broke down the door
of your bedroom?

Yes.
Why?

He...
He wanted to come in.
Why?

ANITA: Well,
must I answer that?
ZANTEN: Certainly.

He wanted a bottle of gin
I had taken away from him.

And did he not then
beat you so that
you ran from your room

only to have him
kick you down the stairs?

Your Honors, I never
would do a thing
like that, I couldn't.

ZANTEN: Brutally,
with malice aforethought
and intent to do bodily harm.

I wouldn't harm a hair
of her lovely head.

ZANTEN: And she had bruises
to prove it.

I submit a medical report.

(BELL DINGS)

But, Your Honors,
they are trying to make me
out a beast, a dipsomaniac.

Well, what else
would you call a man

who buys two bushels
of peanuts for
his pink elephants?

Pink elephants, green snakes.

Hmm, DT's, he had.

Wait, Your Honor.
Look at this fine,
upstanding young man.

Does he look to you
like a confirmed alcoholic?

Well, now I...

Yes, look at him,
Your Honors.

A man debauched by liquor,
eyes sunken and bloodshot,

chin weak, the very picture
of indulgence,

in all the colors
of moral collapse.

Your Honors,
is this a courtroom
or an art gallery?

You will paint
no more pictures in
this courtroom, Mr. Zanten.

Mr. Woverman,
what have you to say
to all this?

Your Honors,
all I've got to say is,
I forgive her.

(DINGS)

And what is your explanation
of all these charges?

Your Honors, we will answer
these charges in order.

Let him speak for himself.

Your Honors, I am not
a complaining man,

but just look at me.
Look at the suit I got on,
nothing fits me.

I've lost all this weight
just worrying about her.

But I still forgive her.

Ask him about
the Second Officer on
the boat, Your Honors.

What about that,
Mr. Woverman?

Oh, that...

That was just jealousy,
Your Honors.

When I asked him
what he was doing

hanging around
my wife's cabin
all the time,

he said he was just
examining her sundeck.

That's when I hit him.

And what about
the other charges?

Are they true?

Well, they are greatly
exaggerated, Your Honors.

Now, for instance,
she fell down stairs,
she wasn't kicked.

Now, everybody
in the family knew that.
Isn't that true?

(STAMMERING)
Well, I was afraid.

I was running away from him.
It was dark.

I couldn't see the steps.

She couldn't see
the steps.

Anybody could tell
from 10 feet away
she'd been drinking.

Is that true?
Oh, no, no,
Your Honors. I...

I just had an alcohol rub.
With Scotch?

How do you know
what happened?
You weren't even there.

(INDISTINCT MURMUR)

Oh, what I mean is that
he was so drunk he couldn't
have known anything.

You were drunk,
weren't you?

But, Your Honors,
I was desperate.

I just wanted to talk
to her, that's all.
Just talk to her.

Look at her, Your Honors,
isn't she wonderful?

I've never seen
a woman to equal her.

The moment I saw her, I...

Well, I knew
I could trust her.

I knew she'd never fail me.

Why, I'd rather die
than cause her
a moment's unhappiness.

I'm just terribly in love
with her, Your Honors.

(BELL DINGS)

The court recesses

and recommends plaintiff
and defendant to discuss
their differences

privately in my chambers
and I feel certain

that they can come
to an amicable adjustment
in this matter.

A fine mess
you've made of things.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't
just sit there and have you
call be a wife-beater.

Well, why not?
Do you think I'd lie about
my life with Hendrik?

But you were looking straight
at me when you said it.

Well, whom
should I look at?
Look at Zellfritz.

This isn't a joke,
at least, not to me.

All right, what do
you want me to do?

Don't hinder
my divorce, please.
I've got to have it.

But I'm not Hendrik.
You can't get
a divorce by proxy.

Mother Woverman promised
me that Hendrik would stand
by the court's decision.

I'd be free.
Later I could make it legal.
Don't you understand?

That's different.
Consider yourself
a free woman.

But, first of all, I've got
to get out of here.

There's somebody
I must contact
at the Cafe Savoy.

I tried to see him
this morning, but I couldn't
lose those two Gestapo men.

It's too dangerous
for you to leave now.

The Judge may call us
back at any minute.

I'll only be gone
a little while.
Cover up for me, will you?

But wait until
after the trial, please.

Now, look,
I've been clowning around

because I didn't want
to upset the family
anymore than necessary,

but I'm really on a spot.

With a little good luck,
you'll get your divorce
from Hendrik,

but with a little bad luck
I'll be divorced from my head.

Oh, that's right.
I'd forgotten.

Go ahead.

I'll cover up for you.
Get back as quickly
as you can.

Take care of yourself.
Good luck.

You are lovely.
(CHUCKLES)

Yes, sir.
Is Gustav here?

Yes, over there.

Thank you.

Is that table free?
Yes, sir.

I'll be right with you, sir.

I would like a bottle
of beer, please.

Yes, sir.
Any particular kind, sir?

Bock beer.
Yes, sir.

(MUTTERING)
Oh, I'm sorry.

Why, you nearly broke
my glasses.

You might have
blinded me, dumbkopf.
(CLICKING TONGUE)

I could sue you.

You're a Gustav.

I'm sorry, sir, but I serve
so many people here
I don't think I remember you.

I'm in a jam, Gustav.
Yes, sir.

You've got to help me out.

I'll risk it, sir.

I'll take that.

If you're
collecting beer labels,
that one's damaged.

I understood you to say
you were in difficulties.

Perhaps we can be
of more service
to you than a waiter.

Oh, that's very kind
of you, sir,

but I wouldn't dream
of letting you pay
my luncheon check.

Gustav will take care
of that as usual.
Hmm?

Of course.
Fine, Gustav.

Since my credit's good,
perhaps I can have
a sandwich too?

I can bring you
two pieces of bread.

If you find anything
between them
it's a sandwich.

(CHRIS CHUCKLES)
Let me see your wallet.

You don't seem to be
in need of financial aid.

Well, you see, sir,
my wife is divorcing me.

The trial is on now
and that's just enough
to cover the court costs,

if I lose the case.

Your name is Woverman?
Yes, Hendrik Woverman.

My wife's name is Anita.
She's very beautiful.

Woverman?
Yes.

I'm a Guldschreschts.

Well, you don't look it.

Yeah. I am Albrecht's son.

You and I are cousins.
Oh!

But I don't think
I remember seeing
you before.

Well, I've been
in Batavia many years.

Oh, wonderful.
How are Uncle Peter
and Auntie Kaatjo?

Fine, fine,
the children are fine, too.

GULDSCHRESCHTS: Children?
Your sandwich, sir.

Thank you, Gustav.

I, uh, haven't time
to eat it now.

I have got to get
back to court.
My wallet, please.

Thank you.
But I'm late, I tell you.
Just a moment.

The Judge will be furious
and he'll give my beautiful
Anita the divorce,

And then where
will I be without
my beautiful Anita?

And, besides,
Major Zellfritz...
Major Zellfritz knows you?

He's quartered
in my house.

I thought Uncle Peter
only had one son, Woritz.

No, no, no.
There's two new ones, twins.

What, at seventy-two?

Well you don't know
Uncle Peter.

There are certain
food restrictions.

I must make sure
they are not violated.

I'll take the sandwich.

Uh-uh, mustn't touch.

Attention.
Heil Hitler.

He's gone.
With the sandwich?

With the sandwich.
Go get him.

Heil Hitler.
Heil Hitler.

Where is Mr. Woverman?

I'm sorry,
Your Honors, I...

I couldn't hold him back.
He...

He simply had to go
and have a drink.

A drink?

You should have
notified me immediately.

Suppose
he does not return.

Well, I'm sure
he will, Major.

As counsel for the defense,

you have a plausible
explanation of
his absence, I assume.

Well, Your Honors,
just because a man
goes for a drink

it doesn't necessarily
follow...
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

There he is, there he is.

Oh. Oh!

There's only one explanation,
your Honors.

Hendrik Woverman,
you're drunk again.

Just look at him, drunk.

You said you'd
only take one drink.

(WHOOPING)

Ja, ja, boiled. Ja!

Your Honors,
I appeal to you.

Ladies and gentlemen,
do I look drunk?
(HICCUPS)

(LAUGHS) Stinking, ja.
(HICCUPS)

This whole trial
has been an injustice,

because I love her.
(GIGGLES)

But I'm not your wife.

You see, Your Honors.
She doesn't even
recognize me,

and she'd dyed her hair
just to deceive me.

Why, there you are.

My name is
Adolph Bietjelboer.

My little lawyer.

Come on, Bietlebottom,
defend me.

Certainly.
Do something.

(CLEARS THROAT) Your Honor,
in behalf of my client,

I have some facts
here that I...

I object, Your Honor,
I object.

And he says he's not drunk.

I'm sober as a judge.

Order.
As five judges.

(DINGS)

(BELL CLANGS)

(RATTLES)

Oh, my darling,
don't divorce me.

You will break my heart.
Let's dance.

This is what they're after.
Hide it for me, will you?

Oh, my darling,
you will never know
what you mean to me.

There he is.

Heil Hitler.
What is this?

This man started a riot
in the Cafe Savoy.

You bet I did.
They wouldn't let me
eat my sandwich.

Tried to take it
away from me.

Food hoarders.

There is no sandwich.
LEADER: No sandwich?

CHRIS: I ate it.

This man bears
close watching, Major.

We have orders
to take him into custody.
He is dangerous.

You're quite right.
I know the case thoroughly.

I'm personally handling it.

But he started a fight.

He assaulted
Captain Scmutnik.

He is apt to do anything.

Last night in his own house
after dinner we are
in the living room...

(YELLS)

(MUTTERING)

Just leave him to me.
I will take care of him.

(GROWLS)

Your Honors,
do you still deny
my client her divorce?

Divorce granted. Ow!
(CLUNK)

Where are you going,
Liebchen?

You did not give me a chance
to congratulate you.

Thanks, Major.

Now that you are free,
we are going to see a great
deal of each other, no?

(STAMMERING)
No, Major, I am tired.

The trial was
very unpleasant.

I want to forget,
get away for a while.

Hide from everybody.
Oh, good.

Hide from everybody,
but not from me.

You especially, Major.

No, you can hide
from everybody,

but you cannot hide
from Major Zellfritz.

Where I plan to hide,
it will take a bloodhound
to find me.

I smell good.

Yeah, just like a dog.

Well, it's about time
you got here.

You back there,
if you want to eavesdrop,
don't do it behind my back.

Do it out here,
do it out here.

Well, young lady,
what kept you?

A man, of course.
Why, I...

Never mind.
Don't tell me.

You'd only lie about it.

Stella.
I want to thank you,
Countess.

Tut-tut. We've always
needed someone around here
to manage things.

Stella, take
Mrs. Woverman's
coat and bag.

I really do need
the work, though.

After all, when a woman's
just been divorced...

My dear, in this house
we do not recognize divorce.

We believe in love,
even if it is no use
to us now.

I will never understand
why a pretty girl like you

wants to work for a lot
of old harpies like us.

Why, I explained that
to you when I applied.

I know,
you want to hide.

Well, you picked
the right place.

I am sure no man
will ever dream of looking
for you in this mausoleum.

And now, if you will
excuse me, ladies.

(RINGING)

Hello.
Hello, Jan?

This is Mrs. Anita Woverman.

I want to speak to...

To Mr. Hendrik, please.

Oh, you mean
your ex-husband.

Yes, he's here.
Just a moment, please.

And you don't know
where Anita is?

We haven't seen her
since the trial.

There's nothing
to worry about.

I'm sure we'll hear
from her very soon.

I'm not so sure.
She can't be
depended on.

I've got to see her
right away.

Your wife would like
to speak to you, sir...
Your ex-wife.

Thank you, Jan.
Can't be depended on.

There's something going on
between those two
we don't know anything about.

I wouldn't be
at all surprised.

Hello there.

I am sorry I had
to rush off the way I did.

Where are you?
I must see you right away.

I need that little souvenir
I gave you.

Oh, I'm at 41 Emerstrat.

It's the Woverman home, sir.

Oh, and who are they
speaking to?

Anita Woverman.
She's at 41 Emerstrat.

Good. Notify
Major Zellfritz at once.
Yes, sir.

Can we be alone?
Well, I have
a room of my own,

but there are 30 ladies
in the house.

Thirty?
Yes, and they're all charming,
you'll love them.

Well, I am afraid 30
is a bit too many for me.

Please be discreet
about this.

I don't want
the Wovermans to know.

Yes, I'll be expecting you.

Goodbye.

Oh, oh, that was
my husband...

My ex-husband,
of course.

Will you send him in
when he calls?

Yes, if he can get past
that wolf-pack alive.

I have never seen
anything like it.

Just because her ex-husband
is coming to visit her,

you act like a lot of bees
around a honey pot.

Old bees.

(BELL RINGING)
Oh, uh...

Now, don't get excited, girls.

Don't get excited.

Just because there's a man
coming to the house

we don't have
to lose our heads.

I'll answer it.
I'll answer it.

Heil Hitler.
Heil who?

Hit...

Hitler!
How do you do?

We're twins.

One of you
would be sufficient.

If you've strayed
from your searching party,
they were here this morning.

This is not
an official visit.

I came to see
Mrs. Anita Woverman.

The ex-Mrs. Anita Woverman.

I understand
she works here.

Mrs. Woverman is not
reviewing the army today.

Madame, either you will
direct me to her at once

or I shall report you
to the Gestapo as
an enemy of the state

and a traitor
to the Third Reich.
(INHALES)

Follow me.

Nose twister, ja.
Old buzzard, ja.

Come in.

Oh, Major Zellfritz.

Out.

(DOOR CLOSES)

At your service, my dear.
(CHUCKLES)

How did you know
where to find me?

Did you think you could
hide from Major Zellfritz?

You will find that
quite impossible, my dear.

Oh, oh, Mimosa.

I'm allergic to Mimosa.

Oh, sheer medical nonsense.
Exercise your willpower.

You can overcome...
(SNEEZES)

Oh, you give in too easily.

You should be very
happy today, my dear.

You're a free woman now.

This calls for champagne,

flowers,

gaiety,

music. Ja.

(BELL RINGS)

That must be Mr. Woverman.

Is Mrs. Woverman in?
Come in, young man.

How do you do?
I'd like to see
Mrs. Woverman, please.

I'm the Countess Oldenburg.

You're her husband,
aren't you?
Her former husband.

(WOMEN GIGGLING)

I seem to be amusing
the ladies.

Well, you'll have
to excuse them.

We never have a man
in the house.
Never?

This is an old ladies' home,
Mr. Woverman.

Oh!
She has a visitor now,

but it'll be a pleasure
to disturb him.

I'll tell her you're here.

But, uh, you said
there's never a man
in the house.

There isn't.
Come, see for yourself.

Well, I wouldn't
want to intrude.

You won't.
This is a case where three's
company and two's a crowd.

Oh, there you are.

I'm so glad you could come.

I'm very happy
to be here.

Just what are
you doing here?

Well, I got lonesome
for my beautiful wife.

What nonsense is this?
You forget she is
no longer your wife.

Oh, I haven't forgotten.
That's just what made
me lonesome.

Does a divorce mean
nothing to you?

Legally this man is
a stranger to you now.

You must not allow
him to kiss you.

Well, I know I shouldn't,
Major, but it's...

Well, it's just habit,
I guess.
A very bad habit.

Yes, very bad.
You must try to break
yourself of it, Hendrik.

I advise you both
to do so.

Why are you not back
at the sanitarium?

Well, they haven't
got room for me yet.

The sanitarium's very
crowded these days.

Everybody's drinking
to forget their troubles.

Troubles? What troubles?

We have taken over
all of Holland's troubles.

That's just what I mean.
Hmm?

Oh, ja. Ja, ja.

(RADIO WHINING)
(SNEEZES)

MAN: (ON RADIO)
Meat rations for this week,
100 grams per person.

Those furnishing
medical proof of anemia

will be granted one extra
meat ball, synthetic.

(BELCHES)

You are intruding.
The lady and I
wish to be alone.

My dear, Major,

Anita didn't ask for alimony
when she divorced me,

but I'm a man
who feels
my responsibility.

I suggest you feel it
somewhere else, not here.

After all, she shouldn't be
forced to work for a living.

Oh, please, Hendrik,
I really can't accept
money from you.

Oh, nonsense,
you've been so kind.

I insist that you take it.

Oh, I really must
take care of myself now.
You go back to your mother.

An excellent suggestion.

And if I ever catch
you within five miles
of this place,

you will be...
And I have the power.

COUNTESS: Searching party.

Heil Hitler.
Heil Hitler.

You are Hendrik Woverman?
Yes.

You're under arrest.
Arrest? For what?

Treason.
Treason?

So you deny that you left
the Peters Sanitarium

and stole a gallon
of denatured alcohol from
the government stores

and proceeded
to drink it?
Ja, he could do it, ja.

Government stores,
in times like these.

Who knows but for the loss
of that gallon we might
now be in Moscow,

perhaps.

Ja, perhaps.

Undress.
Now, wait a minute.

Ungrateful traitor,

the Fuhrer feeds
you and protects you
and you betray him.

Undress.

Oh no, not in front of me,
Captain.

You're his wife,
aren't you?
Not anymore.

The Judge made it
illegal for him to undress
in front of her.

And besides,
it's drafty in here.

Outside. Outside!

When did all this happen?
This afternoon.

Oh, but it couldn't have...
Outside. Undress.

But he was in court
this afternoon.

How come he be boiled
in two places?

Traitors are always
in several places
at the same time.

Search that.
Search the room.

Just a moment, Captain.
It could not have
been this man.

I know who it was.
It was that Carl Bodoran
again.

He is always passing
himself off for me

trying to make
trouble for me.

He's hated me ever since
I told him I was considering
the Nazi Party.

I assure you, Captain.
Major, I know my job.

Why are you so certain?

I've had him under
close surveillance.

Very well, Major.

So you were thinking
of joining the Nazi Party?

Well, you need good men,
don't you?

Are you prepared
to betray your mother?
Naturally.

Your father?
Certainly.

Your sweetheart?
Of course.

And would you kill your
own child if necessary in
the Fuehrer's interests?

Well, who wouldn't
kill his own child
for the Fuehrer?

I would do more,
much more.

I would even give
my Grandmother
the hotfoot.

Hotfoot? What is that?

Well, you get some lighted
matches and you stick 'em
under their toenails.

(CHUCKLES) Excellent.
That is good.

I shall have to
try that myself.

He qualifies,
give him back his clothes.

You report to
Gestapo headquarters
tomorrow in the morning.

We will talk further.

Heil Hitler.
Heil, heil, heil, heil.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I no longer consider
you a rival.

Naturally she will prefer me.

I am more dashing,
much more beautiful than you.

Yes, but my eyes
are much prettier,
deep blue.

Yes, but when you were
caught with your trou...

I laughed.
Huh?

Did they find any...
No, they were very nice.

They're going to make me
a storm trooper.

Bah, he will never pass
the physical examination.

I hope they give me a cap
just like the Major's.

Besides, there is
a mentality test, ja.

Put down my cap.

It's a very pretty cap, Major.

Say, how do I look in it?
Heel Hitler.

Take off my cap.

All right. If you're going
to be stuffy about it.

Now, look here,
Woverman.

I am completely out
of patience with you.

Really?
And how do you think
I feel about you?

Hanging around
my beautiful wife like
a boa constrictor,

our divorce hardly
cold yet.

You should rejoice
that I take such
an interest in her.

She will have the protection
of my rank.

Oh, with her looks
she can get herself
better protection.

A Colonel at the very least.

I am more than a major.

I have very
high connections.

My uncle is commander
of this district,

and Robert Niedermeyer,
the marine engineer,
is my cousin.

Who?
Niedermeyer.

They're the two
most important men
in the city now.

Niedermeyer, huh?
Ja.

Well, now
I'm really impressed.

Yes, I begin
to see your point,
you may be quite right.

Right about what?

About your going
out with him, dining,
dancing, fun.

Yes, it will be
quite all right.
Oh, it will?

Well, my darling,
why should
you deny yourself

any of the pleasures
the Major can give you?

Who said I was going
to deny myself anything?

Now, don't try
to console me.

It will be excruciating
thinking of the two
of you together

while I wander
the streets, empty,
desolate, heartbroken,

but I must
bear it somehow.

Take her out, Major,
let her be gay.

I will be delighted.

Well, that's very
generous of you.
I have an idea.

Why don't you
take her to the opera?

Tonight it's Wagner,
especially for
German officers.

With your influence, Major,
I'm sure you can get
a couple of tickets,

if you phone right away.

An excellent suggestion.

The phone is right
out there in the hall.

Put down my cap!

I'm sorry.

(GROANING)

(SIGHS DEEPLY)

Hmm.

Oh, it commences again.
Phobia, ja.

Thank you.

You, lunatic, you.
(GRUNTS)

Here.
Oh, you're magnificent.

Now, what's the idea
of shoving me off on
that goose-stepping swine?

It's just luck, Anita.

That relative of his,
Niedermeyer is
a submarine expert.

It ties up with some
information I've got.
Don't you see?

Oh, you want me
to play Mata Hari?

Yes. Get him drinking,
talk to him.

Lead the conversation
to the right point,

and some day Holland
will credit a statue to you.

Hurry up, get your coat.
Mmm.

Well, why not?

As I recall, Mata Hari
had herself quite a time.

Well, you don't have
to have too good a time.

And what was all that about
your wandering the streets
desolate and heartbroken?

I meant every word of it.
(DOOR OPENS)

Everything is arranged.
You will have to hurry.

I will only be a minute.

Major, let me
get your coat.

No. I will get it,
you get control of yourself.

No more kickups.

Mueller, I told you
to keep those bags
in the front seat.

What are those?
Leaflets, you know,
love letters for England.

Well, good night.
Have a gay time.

Music, crowds...
Oh, no. No crowds.

I have a private box
and a private dining room.

Good night, Hendrik.

Start wandering
the streets,

empty, desolate
and heartbroken.

What a night!

How beautiful my leaflets
will look fluttering down
in the moonlight, ja.

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

What are you doing here?
It is after curfew.

I'm lost.

You don't happen to know
of any streetcar lines
along here, do you?

The Germans are very funny.

They shoot you if they
find you out after curfew,

then they laugh
while you bleed.

Nothing like
a sense of humor.

I think you better get in.

The Germans,
they only let
two things go by,

more Germans and beer.

Well, thanks a lot,
but I wouldn't think
of putting you in danger.

After all,
it is my own fault.

I think
you better get in.

Of course,
if you insist.

Now, look here.
These may be war times,

but that's no excuse
for holding up
an innocent cyclist.

Shut up.

Hello, Chris.

Better close your mouth,
you're drooling
all over your tie.

Keith!

Why, we thought
you were a goner.

I saw your plane go down
in flames myself.

We surely thought
you were finished.
So did I.

Where've you been?
Gustav took care of me.

I've been working
for the Skopje Brewery.
Look...

I took the place
of Klass Van Dongen,
who skipped out.

I have been driving
his beer wagon.

That is your identification
from now on.

I've got six children?
I can't possibly
support six children.

Oh, you'll find it great fun.

And, now,
what have you learned?

Nothing definite yet,
but before the night is over
I hope to have exactly

the information I want.

Splendid. One of our fellows
WKF has a short wave
set close by.

I'll take you to him
whenever you're ready.
Fine.

Now, put your cycle in back
and we will get going, huh?

Propaganda, press,
phobia, ja.

Nothing out!

(SCREAMS)

What are you doing here?

A fine time
to be getting home.

No wonder I divorced you.

How'd you get in?
The Countess let me in
to wait for you.

Here, here,
I'm not looking.

Thanks.

Now, did you
find out everything?
Not a thing.

Were you alone
all the time?

No, Niedermeyer was with us.

Niedermeyer?
You actually mean Niedermeyer
himself was with you?

Yes, is that important?

Important?
What did he say?
Tell me everything.

Nothing. He just kept
looking at me as if
I were an extra ration card.

No, no, he must have
said something.
Try and remember.

A man doesn't sit there
with a beautiful woman
all evening

and not say anything.

Well, he said he would
be finished his job
in three days.

Three days.

Well, that's enough
information for me
to go ahead with.

You sure
I'm not keeping you?
No, no, I'm not leaving.

I can't meet my contact man
until three o'clock.

Did you ask him anything
about his work?

Well, I was just about to

when he got
a long distance call
from Yselmunde.

Yselmunde, Yselmunde!

Three days,
that's wonderful.
That's it. Anything else?

No, he left right after that.
Well, that's enough.

You see, we know
he was supervising
submarine construction,

but now you've
found out where

and we'll soon take care
of that.

What a Mata Hari!

Hey, what time did
he get that telephone call
from Yselmunde?

Mmm, let's see,
we were at the opera
until 11:00.

Then we had supper.
I guess it was about 11:30.

Eleven-thirty?
Then Niedermeyer left, huh?
Mmm.

And you were alone
with Zellfritz?
Yes.

Until now?
Yes. Why?

Why? Look, I may be only
your divorced husband,

but what were you doing
with that German gopher
for two solid hours?

Why, you...you!
Cad?

Out of here.
Now, listen.

Two solid hours
with Zellfritz.

Why didn't I have you shot?

Have you got a match?
In the kitchen.

CHRIS:
Ever hear of Niedermeyer?

Yes, submarine man,
isn't he?

He's assembling a fleet
at Yselmunde.

Say, that is news.

The job will be finished
in three days

and that fleet
will be scattered
all over the Atlantic.

Night patrol, come on.

Come on.

Short wave set's
in this tool house.

CHRIS: Spooky place.

Where is the radio man?

KEITH: He should be here.
One of our planes is due
over at three o'clock.

Three o'clock?
But it's almost that now.

Well, where's the radio?

I don't know,
but we ought to be
able to find it.

Put out that light.

Gestapo.

That means our man's
been arrested.
Yes, get out of sight.

I had a feeling those planes
that shot me down knew

I was coming
and were waiting for me.

But these fellows?
Decoys. You know,
like wooden ducks.

(GESTAPO SPEAKING GERMAN)

(RADIO WHIRRING)

FLYER: (OVER RADIO):
This is KRL calling WKF.

Calling WKF, this is KRL.
Calling WKF.

KRL, WKF calling.
How are you old boy?

You're a few minute early
tonight, aren't you?

Oh, just a bit.
Good flying tonight,
high ceiling.

Splendid.
Visibility clear?

Too clear for comfort.

You'd better let me have
your report right off
so that I can wing it back.

Right you are.
Here it goes.

Mostly quiet past few hours,

except for some
heavy railway traffic
north of Amsterdam.

What are they moving,
troops or materials?

Uh, can't say,
I really don't know.

Where are they bound for?

Hard to tell.

May have that information
for you on
your next trip over.

Now?
Now

I am speaking as clearly
as I can, old man.

If you drop down a few
thousand feet you will
probably get better resul...

Come in WKF. Come in WKF.

What happened?
Continue with
your report, quickly.

KRL, now listen carefully.
The enemy is operating
this station as a trap.

Get out of here fast
and report to your
flight commander.

Is that clear?
No, it isn't.

Who are you?
Where is WKF?

WKF has been arrested,
probably shot.

Now, stop asking questions
and beat it.

Their pursuit ships
will be here any minute.

But, look here...
(RADIO STATIC)

KRL? KRL, are you all right?

(GRUNTS)

Come in KRL.

Too late, Chris.
They got him.

That's the last one
of our boys they'll get
with this radio.

Morning, Stella.
What have we for breakfast
this morning?

The same as we've had
since the occupation.
Practically nothing.

Good morning, Stella.
Good morning, everybody.

WOMAN: Morning, dear.

A man's coat.

There's a man in the house.

A man in the house...

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Well... Well...

Oh, a nice large man,
size 42.

WOMAN: It must belong
to Anita's husband.

His identification card.

"Klaas van Dongen.

"Occupation.
Beer wagon driver."

How very strange.

What is all this
hanky-panky?

Countess,

Anita's husband's
a truck driver.

What's wrong
with truck drivers?

Look, moths.
(GASPS)

Moths nothing.
They look more
like bullet holes.

He's in here.

I'll deal with him.

I saw him first.
Let me go.

No lollygagging in
the doorway, and don't
clutter up the hall.

This is Anita's business.

COUNTESS: Ladies, ladies,
have we all descended to
the level of peeping toms?

Go and wake him up.

Poke him, give him a poke.

Never waken a man with a poke,
he will be grouchy all day.

Well, how would
you awaken him?

Well, you can sing to him
or kiss him
or tickle his feet.

What if he's wearing shoes?

Well, most men sleep
with their shoes off,
it's more comfortable.

See?

(GIGGLING)

(SCREAMING)

Oh, oh, my darling,
I was having the most
terrible nightmare.

I was wandering
the streets, empty,
desolate, heartbroken...

Oh, don't start that again.

I told the Countess all
about our phony divorce.
Oh, you did?

Certainly, I knew all along
you two weren't married.

Oh, you did?
Oh, stop saying,
"Oh, you did."

Tell us how you got those
bullet holes in your coat.

Bullet holes?
Are you hurt?

No, I'm all right.
The coat was on my arm,

and besides, those Germans
are rotten shots.

ANITA: Why, they must be
searching for you.

I don't think they are,

but our radio was destroyed
and now I have to
figure out some way

to get my information
through before those
submarines get out.

Isn't there any other way
you can communicate?

There's got to be.
Why not?

Do you know where
I was last night

for those two unexplained
hours with Zellfritz?

Now this is no time
for confessions,
I forgive you.

We went to the airport
to deliver those leaflets
to a plane.

The Major sends
them out every night.

Leaflets.

Every night?
Did you say every night?

But that's wonderful...
Leaflets. Then we could...
Of course we can.

What about Zellfritz's
chauffeur?

Why, Frieda has
dishpan hands,

but, oh, she's hmm
with chauffeurs.

I'll phone Zellfritz
right away.

Countess, is it all right
if we have dinner
in my room?

Certainly.
Anything for victory.

Wait a minute...

Go on go on, it's just
a social invitation,
like the spider and the fly.

Yeah, but she's the fly.

Oh, don't worry.
He's got more swish
than swastika.

Ugh!

Must you bring Mimosa?

(STUTTERING)
No. I want you to use
your will power.

Do not sneeze. Defy it.

Uh... Ah!

Port from Belgium.

Ja.

Cheese from Yugoslavia.

Nice.

Ja, ja, ja, ja.

Wine from France.

Fish from...
(SNIFFS)

Norway.

Heaven protect the Fuehrer,
he certainly gets together
a wonderful table.

No caviar?

No, unfortunately,

no caviar.

I thought the Fuehrer
promised you caviar by fall.

Well, when the caviar
was coming we were going.

We expect it now
in the spring.

What year?
Yeah, well, that's...

Oh, where did you get
that beautiful bird?

We get the bird
from all the countries.

Is that everything
we brought, Mueller?

There's more champagne,
sir, if you need it.

Good, good.

And now I suppose
you're anxious to get back

to kiss that pretty
little kitchen maid.

I am married, sir.

Ja, ja, but not
to the kitchen maid.

No, no, ja, no.
(LAUGHS) Ja.

Before you go will you put
a record on the phonograph?

Yes, madam.

(MUSIC PLAYING
FROM PHONOGRAPH)

And, remember, Muller,
that even in the kitchen
you represent the army.

Yes, madam.

Also remember, Muller,
we have never
yet been defeated.

No, sir.
(CHUCKLES)

Ja.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Now, we will have a party.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Pork chops from Poland.

Oh!

Bacon from Denmark.

(CHUCKLES)

Boloney from Mussolini.

He's in the kitchen.
Oh!

Frieda's got him.

Shh.

Yes, the bag is empty.
Plenty of room.

Now, here's what you write.

Submarine fleet leaving
Yselmunde in two days.

Bomb at once.
Sign it C-B-R.

What did he say?

Submarine fleet leaving
Yselmunde in two days,
bomb at once.

Sign it C-B-R.
Yeah.

Now everybody
got a pencil?
Yes.

Come on, now,
no dawdling.

I shudder when
I think of Anita.

As long as she keeps
the music going there's
nothing to shudder about.

(MUSIC STOPS PLAYING)

Maybe she's changing
her tune.

That's what
I'm afraid of.

(MUSIC PLAYING
FROM PHONOGRAPH)

It's a fine signal
she arranged.
Listen to that.

Why can't she play
something like,

"When I'm with you
I'm lonesome"?

Won't that disturb
the old ladies?

Oh, no,
they love music.

And so do I.
It makes me feel so...

Oh, how shall I say it...

Oh, put it in your own
simple way, Major.

Ah, ja. I have
just the word for it...

Devilish.

(SLIGHT GRUNT)

Vim and vigor from
vitaminized vineyards.

A lot of Vs.
Oh, ja, for energy

and ecstasy,
drink champagne,

the elixir of the elite.

That's quite a sales talk.

Oh, I was the best
champagne salesman
in Europe.

Better than
Von Ribbentrop?

Von Ribbentrop!
He was low man
in my territory.

Uh, a toast to
the New World Order.

Down with it.
Oh, ja. Mmm.

(SIGHS)

I never thought
I'd be involved
in espionage.

Write, don't talk.
(BELL RINGING)

Don't be alarmed, girls,

that's probably
Mrs. Van de Camp returning.

She went to visit her nephew.

You, open the door.

Why do I always have
to do everything?

You're the youngest.

I'm 53.

You're 58,
but you're still
the youngest.

Go open the door.

(BELL RINGING)

Let me in!

Let me in.

It was another man,
he asked for Anita.

Did you get his name?
No, I wouldn't
let him in.

(BANGING ON DOOR)

Keep working, girls.

(BANGING CONTINUES)

HENDRIK: Let me in!

Here, here, here.

Where is she?
Where is she? Where...
Who?

My wife.
I am her husband.
Where is she?

I'm Hendrik Woverman.

Who told you, you were
Hendrik Woverman?
Huh?

Why, my mother,
of course.

Your mother
was kidding you.
I'm Hendrik Woverman.

Huh?
Oh, yes, of course.

My mother
explained you.

You know,
I'm glad you're me,
I don't want to be myself.

Are you always
like this?

(CHUCKLES)
I won't tell you.

Now, look if you've
come to bother Anita...

Oh, no, no,
I fixed everything.

Fixed what?
The divorce.

I went to the Judge,
he's a loyal Dutchman,

he let me sign the papers,
made everything legal,

so want to tell her.
Where is she?

Hendrik, I love you.

Oh, no, no, you mustn't.
I'm already married.

Well, that is,
I was.
Now, we're very busy.

Oh, no, I can't leave,
I don't want to leave.

I came here to hide.
They're after me.

Who's they?
The Gestapo.

They're watching my house
and the sanitarium too.

Come here. Sit down.

What have you done?
Oh, oh,

it happened on
the Pulkastraat
last night.

I've been hiding near
the canal all day.

I was drunk.
Hendrik!

It's true, was also
in a fight.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

Say if they catch me
I can't possibly be
Hendrik Woverman, can I?

You're not so
crazy after all.

Then who can I be?

No, wait a minute.
Obviously I must be
somebody, mustn't I?

Here, this ought to fix it.
Huh?

This will identify you
as Klaas van Dongen.

You're a beer wagon driver
for Skopje's Brewery.

Skopje?
Oh, no, no, never do,
I don't like their beer.

Don't quibble, Hendrik,

remember those
six little children
you've got to support.

Six little children?

Really?
Yes, daddy,

so you can't afford
to get in anymore trouble.

Come on.
(GASPS)

Now stay sober.

And, uh, this medal
I got for my victory

over the Boy Scout
Organization

with only three
newspaper articles.

I completely
annihilated them.

Ja, ja, ja.

Oh, were you ever
in a real battle?

Oh, yes, indeed.
I once dueled for my honor.

Oh, who won?

Shall we dance?

(GASPS)
(EXCLAIMS)

Ja, ja, that's good.
(CHUCKLES)

(VOCALIZING)

There's hardly
enough room.

Oh, you really should have
a much larger place.

You'd do better
for yourself as, uh,

my secretary
for instance.

But I don't type
and I don't know
short hand.

Nevertheless,
you would make
an excellent secretary.

(GASPS)

(EXCLAIMING) No!
(SNEEZES AND COUGHS)

(CLICKING TONGUE) Oh!

No, no will power...

Oh...

(GRUNTS)

(SNEEZING)
Ah!

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

You, Mimosa, you...

(SNIFFING)

(EXHALES)

(GASPING)

(SNEEZES)

One at a...
One at a time.

(MUSIC STOPS)

The music stopped.
That's bad.

You will have to give
her a chance to change
the record.

But it doesn't
take that long.

All right, you go ahead.

Keep him there for
a couple of minutes

and we'll have all this
stuff back in the car.

Don't forget
the rear seat.

Yeah. Hey,
one of you huskies.
Julie?

Yes?
Help me with this.

Don't forget, Julie,
put it in the rear seat.
Right!

Fake, phony... Ja.

Hmm... Japanese.
Ja.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

(GRUNTS)
Go away, Muller.

Oh, I... I didn't know
you had a visitor.

How dare you break
in here like this.

I'll have you thrown out.

Where's Muller?
Oh, no, you
don't understand.

This is an emergency.

I came to see
if my wife...

Your former wife.
Yeah, my former wife
could help me.

The Gestapo
are after me.
The Gestapo?

Why?
It happened at the
Pulkastraat last night.

I've been hiding near
the canal all day.

I was drunk.

Unusual for you.

I was in a fight too.

Oh, oh, Hendrik.

Yes, Hendrik,
but you've got to help me.

Oh, Major,
can't you do something?

CHRIS: I'll do anything
you say, but help me.

Please, Major.

For you, all right.

First I must go
to the airport.

More little leaflets
fluttering down in
the moonlight?

Ja, my tender
tissues of truth.

Then I am going to get
you a nice quiet room

in the sanitarium with bars.

I get Muller.
But first, the airport?

ZELLFRITZ: Ja, ja,
the airport, ja.

(DOOR SHUTS)

What is this, Muller,
a retreat?

Ja, I suspect she has
a little Russian blood
in her.

Oh, ja, borscht eater.
Ja. Get the car, Muller.

We go.
Ja.

Never in
the back seat, Muller.
Always in the front.

Airport,
then the sanitarium.

Open the gate,
Major Zellfritz's car.

I will be right back.
Muller.

Those leaflets will be
in England tonight.

And you?
I'll be there in
a couple of weeks.

Say, Hendrik's back.

He signed the court papers.
You're legally divorced.

May I be the first
to propose?

This is one thing
I was prepared for.

No.
Yes. I have my answer
all ready.

No?
Yes.

Well, what is it?
Yes!

No!

Darling, everything
will be all right now.

Well, I am not
so sure, look!

Ja, trouble maker, ja.
Come.

It's nothing.

Hendrik Woverman.
I have orders
from the Gestapo

to place you
under arrest.

But, Major,
you promised
to help Hendrik.

Arson, murder...
These small matters
I could fix.

But this crime, no!

He will have to stand
the court-martial.

Well, what have
I done now?

You have committed
an indignity upon
our national honor.

On a picture of the Fuehrer
he has painted

the spectacles and teeth
of the Mikado.

(HISSING)

GESTAPO: Just look at that,
desecrating our Fuehrer

with the spectacles
and teeth of the
Emperor of Japan.

The penalty
for this is death.

It is exactly 6:43.

We are not going
to shoot him until 7:00.

That allows 17 minutes
in which to give him
a fair trial.

Major Zellfritz
will keep the time.

You call that a fair trial?

Look, I don't
admit anything,

but just to settle this
thing can't I plead guilty
to a lesser crime?

Against the Fuehrer
we cannot accept
a lesser crime.

But you said he was drunk.
How can he be
held responsible?

Every man takes
a drink now and then.

I'll bet even he does.

The Fuehrer is a teetotaler.

The Fuehrer is a...
A vegetarian.

Be brave,
admit your guilt.

The brave die but once.

Who's worrying about
the second time?

May I point out
one all-important
fact to the court?

This happened between
2:30 and 3:00 o'clock
night before last.

To be exact, 2:42
and one-half.

Well, he couldn't have
been there because at
that time he was with me.

Does he come to see
you every night?

Well, we've just
been divorced.

Which makes
your testimony invalid.

You were his wife.

Here are 30 witnesses
who are not his wives.

He cannot be acquitted
by the sheer number of
his prejudiced witnesses.

We are not prejudiced.
We are neutral.

We don't care
how he's acquitted.

GESTAPO: Enough of that.
(GAVEL BANGS)

The accused
will step forward.

Hendrik Woverman,

you have been
found guilty.

You are sentenced
to be shot according
to the martial laws.

Promulgated, May 17th,

sentence to be
carried out at once.

Bravo, eight minutes
ahead of schedule.

(CROWD WHISPERING)

Go up there and ask
to marry him before
he's executed, quick.

Gentlemen,
one last request,

I want to remarry
my husband.

You realize, madam,
you will not have
what I would call

an extended honeymoon.

Oh, I understand.

GESTAPO: Well, then, why do
you make the request?

Well, you see, gentlemen.
It's like this.

I'm used to him.

He's a habit,
a very bad habit,

but I'd like to spend
the last remaining
minutes as his wife.

Well, why not?

In seven and a half minutes,
uh...

We break off
that habit, ja.
(CHUCKLING)

Call the Army Chaplain.
Ja, Chaplain. Ja...

(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)

I'm sorry, my friend
but last night
we both had bad luck.

Yours wasn't fatal.

No, but my propaganda
plane was shot down
in the English Channel.

With all
your pamphlets?

Yeah, my pamphlets.

Drowned, ja.

I've seen better
looking bridesmaids.

We are gathered
here to join this...
Wait a minute.

Where's the
marriage license?

You will get it later,
together with
the death certificate.

Proceed.

Heil, Hitler.

We are gathered
here today

to join this man
and this woman

in the bonds of matrimony
according to the laws
of the third Reich.

It is verboten to interfere
with air raid precautions.

Now, leave at once.
Oh, we didn't mean
to bother you,

we're just so terribly afraid
of the bombers.

Are you sure,
you're doing everything
you can to protect us?

Ja, ja, of course.
Now, go, please.

Oh, do not worry.
He will not feel a thing.

They're all expert marksmen,
they never miss.

Why? Because they
stand so close?

Ja!
Where are the twins?

Oh, what are those?
Binoculars.

What?
Binoculars.

I watch all night long.

If I see
enemy bombers,
I just pull that.

That?
Yeah, that's the master
air-raid alarm,

sets off all the others.

Oh, how wonderful.
What?

It starts all the alarms,
then the anti-aircraft guns

shoot up a barrage
and we protect...

(ALARM BLARING)

(ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

I'm frightened.

Hold me tight.

You great, big,
wonderful man.

ZELLFRITZ: Dumbkopf!
Let go of me.

I am Major Zellfritz.
(WOMEN SCREAMING)

ZELLFRITZ: Help me! Help me!

Where are
you taking me?

(WOMEN PANICKING)
(MAJOR SCREAMING)

ZELLFRITZ:
Let go of my medals...

(MUFFLED)
Let go of my medals.

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

The master race, huh!

Do you want his pants?

No, throw 'em away.

Major Zellfritz's car.
Open the gates.

At least I'm going
on a honeymoon.

I feel goose simply all over.

Wait... Wait a minute.

I'm married.
But what's my name?
Who am I? Mrs. Who?

Mrs. Christopher Reynolds.

Mmm,
Mrs. Christopher Reynolds.
I like that.

I like that, too.

There's more where
that came from.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Heil Hit...

Adolph!

You lost your pants already?

Out!