The Three Fishketeers (1987) - full transcript

The Three Fishketeers, a trio of hopeful heroes set out across the ocean floor to seek their fame and fortune. Finding a damsel in distress, Toby, Finner and Gillas do their best to help her in this delightful underwater swashbuckler.

[music playing]

is fishy down here.

Amidst the motion in the ocean.

You don't know what you'll
see at the bottom of the sea,

like a seahorse race
that's getting into gear.

Camptown fishies sing
this song, doo-dah, doo-dah.

Camptown racetrack, five miles
long, oh the doo-dah day.

CHORUS: Something
is fishy and all wet

in this musical,
undersea menagerie where

the song is underscored in
ways you've never heard before,

like clams that play
on built-in castanets.

[castanets clapping]

The bass sings bass--

A-bubba duh-boo.

CHORUS: --the tuna, tenor--

La, la, la.

CHORUS: --and the shrimp
soprano sing in harmony.

Bo do dee-oh, doh
dee oh dee oh doh doh.

CHORUS: Something
is fishy down here.

Amidst the motion in the ocean.

The lobsters and the
turtles and the starfish all

agree that something is fishy.

Something is wishy-washy.

Something is fishy at
the bottom of the sea.

(SPEAKING) Oh, rot.


I'm miserable.

I am miserable.

And I am a fool.

Why am I here?

You're looking for
fame, fortune, adventure--

just like the rest of us.

Well, we haven't found it.

We're swimming
around in circles.

Straight line, as
far as I can see.

There ain't no circles.

Aren't any circles.

But Finner, you
just said there was.


Come on, guys.

What's the hold up?

Will you slow down, Toby?

I'm tired.

I'm hungry.

You're always hungry, Gillas.

And you're always tired.

Well, I can't help it.

My tail hurts.

My left fin has a charley horse.

Every scale in my body aches.

I've got to rest.


Aw, come on.

Just a little farther.

We're bound to run into
someone who needs a hero.

You should've stayed at home.

No one cares about us out here.

No one cared about
us back there, either.

That's why we left.

Stop talking with
your mouth full, Gillas.

It's rude.

You're mighty bossy, Finner.

Well, I'm supposed
to be bossy.

I'm the boss, the leader.

And don't you ever forget it.

So lead, already.

Let's go.

Not yet, Toby.

Grumpy, too.

Well, I can't just float
around here, waiting.

I'm going to scout around.

[cheerful music playing]

[foreboding music playing]

Gosh, it sure is
deserted around here.

Where'd everybody go?

Gee, how can we be heroes when
there isn't anybody around

to help.


What's that?

TIKA: (SINGING) La la, la la.


Oh, wow!

A damsel in distress!

Wait til I tell the guys.

[music playing]




FINNER: Never fear, dear.

We're here.

Who are you?

We, my dear, are
The Three Fishketeers.

You've heard of us, I hope.

No, I'm afraid not.


Well, then allow us
to introduce ourselves.

[music playing]

(SINGING) The Three
Fishketeers are we.

We're brilliant.


And brave.

Looking for villains
to vanquish and damsels

that need to be saved, The
Three Fishketeers are we.

Three heroes from
under the sea, who

stand up for good
like heroes should

so the oceans will be free.

The Three Fishketeers are we.

I'm Toby.

I'm Gillas.

I'm Finner.

We may have been
misfits before.

But soon we'll be
coming up winners.

The Three Fishketeers
are we, three heroes from

under the sea.

We're off on a quest
for fame and success

and a date with destiny.

The Three Fishketeers are we,
trying so hard to be humble.

But it's not always
easy, you see,

when you don't ever
stumble or bumble.

The Three Fishketeers

are we, three heroes
from under the sea.

We don't like to
fight but sometimes

we might for a place in history.

comes the vile octopus

to munch the tender youth.

Oh, help.

Save me from those
cruel tentacles.

I'll save you, Toby.

Oh, help!


[evil laughter]

I'm coming.

[evil laughter]


(SINGING) The Three
Fishketeers are we!


(SPEAKING) Sorry, fellas.

Sorry, fellows?

Oh, boy.

And now, mademoiselle,
what is your name?

And how may we serve you
in your hour of need?

Well, my name is Tika.

But this is not my hour of need.

Maybe if we wait
an hour or two.

But I am merely
tending my garden.

Well, can't we vanquish
a villain for you?

Or save you from a
fate worse that death?

Or rescue someone?

Retrieve a stolen treasure?

Pull a few weeds?

Ha ha, well, I would
hate to see such valiant

and courageous fish go
without a good deed to do.

Perhaps there is something.


Anything, tell us.

Can we eat lunch first?

Look up there.

See that lovely pearl
trapped in the coral?

FINNER: Yes, yes.

TIKA: Well, I have
seen it often.

And I think, would this not
make a lovely centerpiece

for my garden?

A centerpiece for your garden?

That's it?

Oh, I-- I am sorry.

It was a silly idea.

Well, it's not silly.

It-- it's small.

But it's a start.


Well, quite right.

We will proceed immediately.

Right after lunch.

I'm going to go
size things up.


Big pearl-- it must
have been some oyster.

Where is everybody?

Hey, fellas, come on.

This will be easy.



Quite a predicament.

TOBY: Gillas!

Hold your seahorses, hot shot.

I'm coming.

A plan is in order, a
carefully thought out plan.

Hey, guys.

Stop talking.

Help me push.








Where is he going?


TOBY: Gosh, it's dark in
here and cold and clammy.


Now wait just a minute, Shelly.

I'm no clam dinner.

Let me out of here.

Tickle, tickle, tickle.

[muffled laughter]

Coochie, coochie, coo.


Nyah, nyah, nyah,
nyah, nyah, nyah.

[blows raspberry]

What are you guys
floating around for?

Let's get the
pearl for the girl.

I'm still thinking of a plan.

Think, think, think,
this could take all year.

Gillas, help me.


With your size,
this ought to be easy.

All it needs is a little shove.

It's just stuck.




Guess this little old hole
was a mite small for big old me.

Oh, no.

Here we go again.





I've seen an idea
about to strike.



TOBY: Not again.

All right.

You asked for it.

Mary had a little clam
who liked to ho, ho, ho.

And every time the
claim was tickled--

tickle, tickle, tickle--

[muffled laughter]

--he let his dinner go.


It looks so complicated.


Simplicity, my dear, physics--

when an unmoving object is
struck by a moving object,

the force of the
moving object is

transferred to the nonmoving.

And it continues the course
began by the first object.

He means I'm going
to hit it with my nose.

Hope it don't hurt.

That's the last one.

All set, chief.

Then Gillas, charge!




It worked.

It should settle
right in the middle of--


--your garden.

All right,
Shelly, cough it up.

That's telling him, boy.



There's no bottom.

We lost it for good.

Why I oughtta--


Come back here,
you hard headed--



[foreboding music]

Ah, the bitter
taste of defeat.

G-G-Gillas, fellas--

Not Now Toby.

But-- but--

It's too late.

It's hopeless.


A baracuda?


Oh, poppycock.




Great Neptune!

Wait for--


(GIGGLING) Sea tea?

Oh, I'd love a cup.

Thank you.


Someone do something!

I'm coming, Finner.


What happened?


He is safe.

Pretty fancy swimming, heh heh.


He's coming back!



Oo-ee, that was a close one.

Where did he go?


It would appear that
we have eluded him.


He's gone!

So is Tika.


She was here
just a second ago.

Look, there she is.


GILLAS: She went the other way!

He's gonna get her!

We've got to help!

Come on!


Whew, [inaudible].





He's not giving up.

What do we do?

Oh, oh, give me a few minutes.

I'll think of something.


We don't have a few minutes.

Come on!







He's after Toby!

Someone help him!

We'll never catch up.

Swim, Toby!



Hurry, Gillas.

We've got to help Toby.







Toby's in there!



TIKA: Oh, no!

[somber music playing]

FINNER: Poor Toby.

He gave his life and
thereby saved ours.

TOBY: Tickle, tickle, tickle.

[muffled laughter]

Coochie, coochie, coo.



He's alive.

How wonderful!


TIKA: Are you all right?

I thought I was a gonner.

Simply smashing, man.

You're still with us.

I'm so glad you're OK.

Did we get that old barracuda?

Well, no.

He just swam away.

The falling rock scared him.


You are all heroes



No, we're not.

We didn't vanquish the villain.

We lost your pearl.

And we helped put your
life in serious danger--

hardly heroes.

You Three Fishketeers are the
most courageous, valiant fish

I have ever met.

Not only are you so
wonderfully kind and generous,

but each of you risked your
very lives to save mine.

Don't you see?

No three fish could be braver.

Well, she could be right.


You really think
we were heroes?

Every inch.


You hear that, guys?



Well, mademoiselle,
I guess this

is where we say our goodbyes.

Where will you go now?

Well, it's a big ocean.

I'm sure we're needed somewhere.

Right, chief.

Let's go.

Can we eat dinner first?

Eat dinner?

Well, only if I get to rest.


GILLAS: You're always resting.

FINNER: Well, you're
always eating.

Guys, come on.

Oh, quite right.

Goodbye, my dear.

Au revoir, my
three fishketeers.

So long, ma'am.

Goodbye, Tika.

Au revoir.

A bientot.


[music playing]