The Three Don'ts (2017) - full transcript

Sir,

the drugs... the key...
They've been stolen

Get Banger on the phone.

Now.

- Is it done?
- Tis, hai.

Sorted the fucking clowns
what robbed your merch.

And your efforts
will be rewarded.

Fucking want to be, boss.

Do I need to remind you
of the Three Don'ts?

Hmph. You don't need
to tell me anything, boss.

I know the Three Don'ts
as good as anyone.



Aye and you learned
them from me.

So what's next?

I'll call your boys,
organise the meet,

drop off the merch.
You can sort us out then.

You didn't, uh,
find anything else, did you?

Uh, nah.

Not a thing boss.
Only the drugs.

You wouldn't lie to
me now, would you?

Hmph. Wouldn't
dream of it boss.

Fine.

Organise the meeting.
We'll chat soon.

There ye go lads.

- Nice one man.
- Sound.

Look, it's a simple job



and we could be set
for life off the back of this.

How the fuck are we meant
to trust these lads?

I mean this sounds like some
seriously risky shit.

Of course it's fucking risky

but sure when has that
stopped you before

You go from A to B to get a bag of weed this is basically the same thing

No, No.

Only this time we're
getting paid.

No, No, No. Look. Yeah,
I get that but man

This sounds super fuckin...

The guys name is Banger!

He's hardly a
trustworthy gentleman.

Jason: How the fuck do you
even know these lads?

Well, I don't really know them.

But they're supposed
to be grand.

I know them through Mickey. He
got a lot of yokes off them

Mickey? Yeah.

As in Ridley?

- Load of yokes.
- Yeah...

sound like a fucking
basket of kittens

Jason: Man... OK, look...

Call up these boys
and find out exactly what it is

that they want you to do.

Call them and find out. e?

Because college is the last of my worries,
if I end up in fucking jail.

Should you have a codename?

- What?
- Reservoir dogs shit.

I'm not using no codename.

What if the guards are
listening to the call?

Sure, how are the fucking boys
supposed to know it's me?

Just call them up and be like:

Well, this is B. They're
going to know it's you,

they're expecting
a call for the job.

I am not using no codename.

: OK, OK. No codename.
But just do me a favour,

for the love of god

Please don't mention my name.

Grand.
Jason: I don't want these lads

- knowing anything about me. Alright?
- Grand, grand. Give me the phone.

Fucking tit.

- Well, who that? - Oi, Banger.
It's B. How're you doing?

B? I don't know any
fucking B's chief...

Didn't I tell you before,
I don't be dealing

with fucking initials.
Who the fuck are you?

Benson. Benson, I'm Harry's nephew.
He said you might have some work for me.

Harry's nephew. Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah, I might have something for you.

Where are you now?

Can you meet me there by the
old abandoned pub in Clonlara?

Just finishing off a pint here,
but I can be down there in about...

say twenty minutes, is
that alright with you?

Not a bother boss.
Will you be on your own?

Nah, I'll have my
mate Jason with me.

- What the fuck?
- Shut up you Gowl.

Twenty minutes now. No longer.
No later. Right.

Good luck.

- I told you not to mention my
name. - Sorry...

Nah, well, fucking...

if anything goes down with
these lads, you got us covered

Mr-Fucking-Miyagi.

Nah man. I bet if shit goes down,
you'll throw yourself like a sack of potatoes.

A sack of spuds?

- Yeah. - What kind of fucking
analogy is that?

Sack of fucking spuds... Ah no,
remember it, wth Ridley...

Ah, I didn't need that memory
popping back up. - Oh man.

Smoke off that.

- Yeah. One more pull.
- Come on will ya.

Alright, now. Shut up.

Let me talk to these boys.

Boys!

Nice to meet you.

{unintelligble gibberis}

Aren't you going
to answer the man.

Yeah...

{unintelligble gibberis}

Calm down.
Just pop one, just pop one...

{unintelligble gibberis}

They're not real
Tic-Tac's you know.

Yokes, like.

Mad fucker do be popping them
like fucking panadol so he does.

Anyway cheers boys.

Simple aul' job right,

hop into the car there right?
Go out to the woods.

Meet the boys for drop off.

If it's such a simple job

and it's good paying cash,
why aren't ye doing it?

Is he for fucking real is he?

Are you fucking...

are you giving me cheek, are ya?

Amount of fuckin' boys
who'd be killing for this job

you're fucking give me

Stall a second now. He's only
asking a simple question.

I'm sure ye would ask the same thing if ye were in our positions.

Just checking to see if he
had the balls to do it.

I've a bit of hating on me.

A few of the big boys,
you know, out to get me.

Last thing I want now is them catching me with a boot full of X.

Oh, ah, whoa, oh, hold on now.

Ah. What do you mean
by full of X exactly?

Full of.

As in the fucking boot
is full of fucking X,

are you stupid are ya?

Fucking 750k worth in
there so there is.

I need to get it out to the boys
to be distributing it for me.

What did you was coming
to sell you milk, is it?

Before we do this now, is there
anything we should know?

No, nah, nothing.
It's all good.

Simple job, simple job.

Follow the Three Don'ts,
you'll be fine.

The Three Don'ts?

Yeah, ya fucking shit stain.

The Three Don'ts!

Don't number one,

don't be asking stupid
fucking questions,

but you broke that
one didn't ya.

Don't number two,

don't be fuck acting.
Gowling around.

Get the fucking job done.

There's another
don't though, lads.

Don't ever...
mess with a fucking traveller.

Ha, ha, ha. I'm only
messing with ya boy.

Did ya see his face did ya?

Did ya see him? His fucking chest puffing out,
he was ready to go, so he was.

And this fella? I could've sworn
he grew some hair on his balls.

And don't number three,

don't be looking in the fucking boot, right?
Tis not for yer eyes.

What's the thing they say?
Curiosity killed the cat isn't it?

Do ya get me?

'mere.

Ye be taking our car,
right, we'll take yers.

- Grand.
- Go on. Good luck.

{unintelligble gibberis}

Good luck boys.

What the fuck are we doing?

Road trip.

- Want some?
- Nah man. I'm alright.

Man, you used to be way more fucking
fun when you went through college.

Don't give me that shit.
I've enough pressure on me.

Doesn't that usually go
the other way around

I've enough stress on me already
and I've a fucking headache.

Ah yeah. You know
what's good for that?

Let me guess? A joint...

- Will you fucking watch what you're doing?
- Oi, fucking stop will you.

You get for fucking smoking weed

It's the fucking country
roads, man. Fuck you.

Fuck sake.

- Fucking hell...
- Why the fuck are we stopped?

Shit, the boot man.
The boot is open.

You're some fucking
man, you know that?

What?

What is it?

Was it the smoke, was it?

Those fucking cunts...

- It's Banger.
- Well Banger... It's Benson.

Ah jesus, Benson lad, how're you
getting on? Are we rich yet?

No Banger, we're not
fucking rich yet.

We've got a problem,
that's what we've got.

What kind of a fucking problem?

The problem is,
instead of a boot full of X there's a boot full of

...Fucking bodies ya cunt!

Sounds to me like you didn't
follow the fucking Three Don'ts.

What was don't
number three Benson?

Hoi, don't mind that
fucking shit with me.

Don't look in the fucking boot.

You stupid fucking prick,
I'll fucking kill you.

I'll rip your fucking
head off, you bastard,

- do ya hear me? I'll fuckin...
- Fucking tyre blew out, man.

I had to check the
boot for a spare.

Right.

There was probably a bit
of a mix up alright.

Seems like you got the
wrong car, wrong delivery.

All you have to do now is just
bury the two bodies.

You'll still get your money.

Here, no fucking disrespect at all right,
I signed up for a fucking courier job...

I didn't sign up to
be a gravedigger.

I don't think we
can do this, man.

Alright, Alright. Just dig
the fucking graves, alright

We'll be out. We'll
find ye. Alright.

Ye still get yer money, alright.
Deal? Deal? Deal?

Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Grand,
grand. There's fucking shovels

...in the boot.
Me and Jason will start beating into them now, ahm.

Will ye be able to find us?
Just stay put ye, alright.

We'll find ye.

- What's wrong with you?
- This. This is way too wrong...

Fuck that man, come on,
get back to digging.

Why would they help us?

Someone else fucked up

and gave us the wrong car.

We saw two dead
bodies and what...

now they're going to come out,

chuck the bodies in the graves,
pay us and we all go our seperate ways.

On what fucking planet does that sound
like something that would ever happen.

He... That lunatic sniffed me.

Ah, yer fucking right.

Fuck man...

What are we going to do?

I've got an idea.

- This is your fucking idea?
- What the fuck else are we meant to do?

We leave the boot
open, like it is...

They'll look at the bodies,
their backs turned

We spring out, catch
them off guard.

Spring out?

Who the fuck do you think you
are? Solid Snake Plissken?

- Ah man. - Plus, there's only
three of them...

Only three of them?

Yeah.

Alright. It's not half bad,
I'll give you that.

Yeah. Yeah.

Catch them off guard.

Clean them out. Get in the car.

Fuck right off.

Back to mine. I like it.

I'm taking Tic-Tac and Banger.

You handle that guy.

Fucking dirty moustache on him.
I want him.

Shut up. They're coming.

Oh. Tis a chilly
aul' night boys.

{unintelligble gibberis}

Disrespectful little shites.

We'll find them.

Sure they have to be out
here somewhere, don't they?

...Hoi Crunchie.

Come on out there to fuck
and we find these rats!

Who's crunchie?

- Shut up.
- Who's crunchie?!

Oh my fucking god, what is that?

What's that?! Hoi, hoi,
hoi. Chill out. Same plan.

I'll take the three of them,
you take the big one.

Right. We got this...

We got this alright?
Right, three...

I'm so not ready for this...

- Right, two... - I don't want
to die like this...

One.

Killed by Pikeys in
the fuckin' woods.

Oh Fuck. Ahhh fuck.

FUCK!

HA!

That's not fair...

Hoi, you dirty traveller..

Fair...

I'm a fucking traveller boss.

Hoi, Cunt!

Come on.

Where's the little fella?

Where's the little fella?

You just couldn't
listen could ya?

Doing you bit of good I was
Giving you some fucking money

Giving you a job.
You just couldn't

what were the three fucking
don'ts, I told ya...

The fucking... The
most important one.

What was the most important one?

What was it? Huh?

Don't ever...

The most important Don't,
I'll explain it to you again...

Don't ever mess with
a fucking trav...

Remember when
there was only two bodies...

What the fuck happened?

So what do we do now?

- You got credit?
- I've got free calls...

Uncle Harry?

I need you man...

Alright lad. Where are ye?

I don't know...

I can, I can send you a pin.

Is that that fucking maps thing
is it? The fucking pin yoke?

Alright yeah.

Harry. Thank you man.

I mean that,

Look just don't go
anywhere alright?

Me and Jay aren't
going anywhere.

Alright, alright, yeah.
Grand, good luck.

Fuck off, you gomey prick.

Where the fuck is he?

I'm not fucking doing
this on me own.

Fuck that.

Fuck ya.

Fucking prick. Alright,
Francie, yeah...

Fackin, fucking
phone, you cunt ya.

Will you answer that shit?

Fucking hell.

This would want to be
fucking good Conny Boy.

Well Francie,

did you hear from my no good bat shit of a brother from last night?

Ha. Not at all. Why?

He was supposed to be
helping me, fucking,

shift the rugs up to
the boys up north

and fucking, not a
fucking sign of him now.

Stupid prick like.

Francie: Try fucking Banger so?

Do you think I've fucking
not tried Banger

already like, he's never
picking up his phone.

He's always banging some young one,
or snorting fucking coke like.

He never picks up his
fucking phone like.

I still don't get why you're
fucking calling me, hai.

Do you know who
they were like, meeting like,

watch your fucking
tongue with me, lad

It's none of your
business, alright.

I'll send some lads over

to go finish fucking
loading the guns,

you go to Clonlara
look for the boys

Look, is there something up
here Francie, something like,

Has it got to do with- You're getting on my last fucking nerve, alright?

You go out, look for the boys
and call me when you do.

Jesus christ.
Well love.

Come here to me,
you fine thing...

Are you from Tenessee,
are ya?

- Why? Cause I'm the only ten you see?
- Nah, cause you're a fucking state.

- Ah man.
- Just breathe. Easy.

What the fuck was that?

Drink the whiskey.

Get it down. Get it into ya.
Get it into ya.

Ahhhh Man!

I'm trying to light it.

Fuck!

Ahhhh Benson.
I never meant to get ye caught up in all this kind of shit...

Don't this.

- Ah man...
- Don't that.

I'm gonna die, aren't I?

Nah, you're not gonna die man.
We got you.

Well, he got you.

You're alright.

Fuck you, ya cunt.

Alright,
shhh. Shhh.

Ah man, Benson.

You got the other guys brains
on your forehead.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

I've never seen brains before...

Jesus christ.
Will you just take some whiskey,

take some pills and
sit the fuck down.

Alright...

What the fuck
happened out there?

Fuck.

We took the job you gave us...

Fuck me.

Oh. Fuck sake.
Alright... Now we've got to try getting him inside.

You alright?
To carry him I mean...

- Yeah...
- Alright.

I got ya buddy.

Fucking hell... Come on.

Banger?

Fucking hell.

Oh fucking jesus christ,
mother of mary, fucking hell!

Tic. Tic.

What the fuck did you get up to?

Alright Come on.

Come on. Christ boy, you
weigh a fucking ton.

This better be fucking
good Conny Boy.

Fucking ah, Jesus
christ man. Fucking,

I'm after finding... Tic Tac
and Madmans dead and fucking..

I've no idea where
Banger or Crunchie are.

They fucking, the're all, I don't know man.
I's a fucked up situation like.

Hoi, Conny. You're not making fucking sense lad.
Slow down.

Hey, is't that
one of Bangers goons.

Conny What the fuck
is going on lad

- Hi there
- Hoi Conny. Wh's that?

- Out for an early morning stroll is it?
- Who is it?!

Is it that fucking
blonde cunt is it?

{Stuttering & gibberis}

Daopan: K, this is bad.

How bad?

Daopan: Like dead
bodies bad. Everywhere!

I better bate off so.

I think we both know
tha's not going to happen.

- Usual job so. Kill them all.
- Unfortunately not.

We need answers. We don't
find anything here

gonna have to get
something out of them.

Grand.

No drugs. No key.

Some dead cunts no one
gives a fuck about.

Was that really necessary?

I'm thinking the place we dealt
with the mexican cartel?

Oh the place with
the Mannequins. Sweet!

Is that? Is that Conny
boy's car? Hoi Paddy!

Hoi Paddy! Paddy,
come on to fuck.

Paddy: Fucking story Francie.

Hoi Francie. Fucking
Conny Boys car.

Will you come on, will ya?

What the fuck are you doing hai?

Look for the boys.

Head down to the river and if you find someone let me know, hai.

- Alright boss.
- Go on.

Francie!

- Hoi
- Come on. Come down will ya.

Come on Francie.

Ah fuck.

What the fuck?

Paddy: He's fucking dead boss.

Poor fucker.

Shhh. Goodnight sweet prince.

What the fuck are you doing
clown? Go fucking look.

- Alright boss
- Go.

: Ahhhh, bollocks.

Francie will you
come here will ya.

What is it bai?

Paddy: It's Banger boss.

No. No. No. No. NO!

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck

- Harty's fucking goons.
- Wha's that boss?

The chink. The blonde bitch.

Fucking heard them
when Conny phoned me, hai.

Fuck!

What are we gonna
do about this boss?

I'll tell you what
we do't fucking do.

We do't let these pricks
get fucking away with it.

Nobody messes with a
fucking traveller.

Especially not my
fucking family.

You're not going to like
what 'm about to say but

I think I should contact your parents and let them know what happened.

Are you off your
fucking trolley? No.

Man if my mother found out what I got myself into the other night

- She'd beat me worse than Crunchie did.
- I'll make ye a deal so.

If ye'll agree to it

I won't tell anybody about
what happened with ye,

ye do't tell anybody
about this either? Deal?

Deal.

Alright. 'm gonna go out
and stick on a cuppa.

Try and heal yourself
or whatever, to fuck

Hoi har.

Will these pills actually
heal his bruises

or will they make
his dick fall off?

What the fuck are you
talking about now Benson?

The pills man,

- the're lacita. Laceta-
- Ah, ah. Use your words.

Lacitate.

He said something about them being for chemically castrating cattle.

And why would your uncle
give me something

for chemically
castrating cattle?

Relax. 'm just
fucking with you

Ben Now is not the time, man

They are for animals though.

I's like a horse tranquilizer

but for something bigger

Like an elephant

or that cunt that fought you.

Alright, I need a jacket.

- What the fuck do you need a jacket for?
- Where are you going?

I's Tuesday.

I need to sign on

and plus I ran out of weed
and I need to get some more.

Against all of my better
fucking judgement,

the jackets are outside in the kitchen,
hanging to the left of the door

Thank you.

You're a good man.

Watch that.

Are't you glad I fucking
washed it for you.

You did.

My favourite hoodie.

You're a good man Harry.

Fuck sake

H's some fucking detail.

You'd see less smoke coming
off the genies arse in Aladdin.

No but,

like, his mother my sister.

I often thought about it
when she was pregnant

with himself, that she
was a bit you know,

- medicated herself. Explains a
lot. -

- Why am I not surprised

- Any of ye need anything?
- I'm grand.

The will to live.

How about a packet
of Jaffa cakes?

I could't eat a
full pack though.

If you could get me like, four

and some juice

OK.
No bother.

Just sit there and try get
better. You want anything?

Harry: No but, tell Ter
I was asking for him.

- I was't.
- Don't you owe him money?

I's best not mention
that to him.

- So long boys.
- Cheers! Good luck Ben.

You know, Ter knows
that you owe him money.

I'd just appreciate it not
being brought up again.

Boss wants this done
within the hour.

Lets get a lid on this shit
before it bubbles over.

Alright, lets wake this
motherfucker up then!

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

Hi there.

Just want to make this clear.

This is not personal.
All business 'm afraid

So, don't read too much into
what we're going to do to you.

Well, what he's
going to do to you.

Let's get this started
on a friendly note.

My name is Katherine and this

lovely gentleman
over here is Daopan.

My associate.

If his name sounds strange,
i's because h's from China.

He does't talk much
but h's very creative

in other ways.

So, I feel we've been
more than polite.

Where is the X, you've
stolen from my boss?

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

Pardon me?

I think somethings getting
lost in translation here.

Daopan? Did you get any of that?

I'm getting the gist of it,
but not the location of the X.

I have an idea.

OK, let's try this again.

Where are my bosses drugs?

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

Translation?

He basically said, you
and your Jackie Chan

lookalike boyfriend can
fuck off to Rush Hour

Now suck me right off,
you stupid blonde cunt.

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

Thanks. Good job not
breaking his neck.

Are you watching Enter
the Dragon again?

You know it girl, you know it

Last chance.

Where is our merchandise?

Hm?

I was hoping we could
use our words.

Discuss this like adults...

But never mind

Daopan

Where the fuck are the boys?

- The're all outside boss.
- Go out and get them so.

Right, not a bother

Francie, story boy.

Fucking not great now Willie.
Madman. Crunchie

Fucking Banger.
The're all fucking dead hai.

Willy Harty's goons.

They even took fucking
Tic Tac and Conny Boy.

Strong Willie: It's cause
of the drugs is't it?

I told them not to
mess with the Hartys.

Did some looking around Boss.
When we found them bodies.

The car out there,
belongs to Ben Yau.

Who the fuck is he sure?

Sure he's fucking no one. Don't
be worrying about him. Alright.

H's some college
student or something.

I's his uncle boss.

- H's important.
- Who the fuck is he?

Harry fucking Clancy boss.

What the fuck does that
have to do with anything?

Clancy?

He was working with Banger
on that job was't he?

That means

He might know where
the fuck they are.

Or worse again,

he might be fucking
working with them

But lads listen,

tha's why I brought
ye here today.

Paddy. Bookie.

Banter.

Gippi.

- Fuck you.
- Strong Willie.

Strongest willie I fucking know

Heh. Willie. He said Willie.

what the fuck are you
fucking laughing at hoi?

You calling me gay?

- I'm not fucking gay at all
hoi. - Oh, no no no

So what now Francie boy?

Go pay Harry Clancy a visit

See what he knows

Alright Harry

Clancy, you better have some
answers for Francie Doran.

Hoi, what the fuck are ye
doing clowns? Get going!

Fuck.

All bets are off boys.

Come on, Come on,
Come on. Get out

Paddy: Did ya not hear him?
Are you fucking deaf Willie?

Get fucking going Get sorted.

Benson.

Hey, story man?

What the fuck are
you doing here man?

Looking for some Ganja.
Your phone was off.

Come in.

Sure fucking, listen
kid, I ca't help ya out man.

Fucking, bit of a dry
spell going on. Ya know?

Ahhhh man. Come on, you've
always got fucking something.

Yeah, I can see
your fucking dry spell.

Don't mind them man.
Fucking, I'm not taking the piss with ya right.

don't think I'd want
the money for myself, ya know?

I would't mind that

ya know. Fucking Ridley
was here last night

and he bought up everything
I fucking had, ya know.

Sorry. But listen man right
There's something going on.

Like, what? What like, guards?

Nah man, not the fucking guards,
ya know.

Fucking, they're about as useless as fucking tits on a nun, right.

There's a new player,
ya know.

A supplier or
something, ya know.

Whisper on the wind
is that, ya know,

h's fucking up all the big
boys businesses', ya know

Fuck off with you
and your conspiracy theories,

you paranoid cunt.

Just call
me when you get weed yeah?

Alright, come on le's go.

I'll let ya know alright?

You fucking better.

Alright. Catch you
on the morrow cuz, alright

Well, w've determined that
your not the brains

of the operation.

So, as our interpreter is't
much use at the moment

I'm going to need a name
or a location

or we're going to have to take another one.
How many do we have left?

Uh, five fingers and two thumbs.
Thumbs aren't fingers, right?

Katherin: Once again,
you're correct.

OK then. One thumb

OK, w're going
to have to get creative.

H's not giving us anything.
Kill him, move onto the brother

Hoo, hoo. OK for something
like this, I prefer

to get a little bit more,
personal le's say

...'ve a fondness
of using these guys.

W'll do you fast,
then move onto your brother and do him slow.

Conny Boy: Stop, no,
don't hurt my brother!

Fucking hell, I'll talk.
I'll fucking tell ya.

Who did it?

Conny Boy: Me and Madman,
we fucked up the tyres with a load of glass

and like we killed the two
boys and fucked them...

...into the boot of the
car and fucking, I guess

Madman had the bodies
in one and fucking...

Banger had the X
in the other car.

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

Which two gowls?

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

H's useless. Kill him.

Alright, alright, alright,
alright Fuck. Jesus. Fuck. Fuck.

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

I need a name!

Harry Clancy! Harry Clancy.

Now fucking cut me loose.

Now was that so hard?

You should be rewarded.
With your freedom.

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

Freed from this mortal coil.

{Unintelligible Gibberis}

Fuck me. Talk about
a trigger warning.

I wanted to do it.
You get all the fucking fun.

At least you got a name for the
fucking boss. Can I clean up?

Knock yourself out.

Lovely.

Yep, sir. We have a name.
Harry Clancy.

Hello.

Mr. Clancy.

Who the fuck is this? I know
i's not Banger anyway.

Did you know that you can tell a lot by the sound of a mans voice

...and you Harry are scared
but rest assured.

You're not nearly scared enough.

What, what the fuck do you want?

I think you know as you
are in possession of it

but not for much longer.

I know all about your history,
Harry Clancy.

Look, this is about the
drugs isn't it? I mean

Yeah, tha's no problem.
You can take the drugs.

I'll even the two lads
that fucked everything

up I'll chuck them
under the bus as well.

Tha's all good.
I'll give you that shit and then I will fade away. I'm gone.

A man without loyalty and
honour. I'm surprised at you.

Especially with the
company that you keep.

I don't understand.

I's not about the drugs.

Do not play coy with me,
lest I get temperamental.

Look, I, I ca't.

There are things in this
business that you do and do't

but i's the don'ts that are the most important.
Don't number one.

Don't ask stupid
fucking questions.

Don't number two. Don't fuck
around, get the job done

And don't nimber three Don't stick your
nose in business that doesn't concern you.

Bange's father used
to say something like that

And what happened to him. He
got killed didn't he?

Guess he couldn't
follow his own advice.

You pissed off a lot
of people Harry.

Goodbye Mr. Clancy.

No wait, no, no, Please.

Jesus christ, fuck
my dead corpse

Harry?

Is everything ok, man?

I's alright Harry.
I just need a drink

Here, no You stay
where you are, OK?

No, no, no, no. Jason,
Jason. Jason. Jason.

You are in a BAD way alright?!

You just sit down there on the couch and I'll get you a nice, cold,
glass of Fanta.

I love you Harry.

- Fanta!
- You're a good man.

Good man, just sit in there.
Be grand. Good man, good man.

There's something off
with your Fanta, man.

Hmm, I dunno. The
best before date was grand.

I dunno man. 'm a murderer now.

How crazy is that?

- Pretty fucked up.
- Whoa.

Man. Definitely, definitely
something

I can't feel my face.

We all do things we're
not proud of, sunshine

For fuck sake!

There'll be plenty of people
coming for you anyway Sunshine

but Plan B.

Why's it so fucking dark in
here? Jay are you asleep?

What the fuck
is going on here?

Hoi.

What the fuck?
You could't wait for me, nah?

Man, why is my heart
beating so fast?!

I dunno man, it could be
the buckets of cocaine...

...in your fucking moustache?!
Why did't you wait for me?

What? Why is there
cocaine all over me?

There's something
wrong with you man!

Benson, I've never
taken coke before.

Yes you have.

When?

- Remember that night?
- No.

Yeah, of course.

OK I do't
know what's going on right

Neither do I.

But I got a feeling
this is no mistake.

A couple of shady looking fuckers just
pulled up outside and eyeballed the place.

What do ya mean shady
looking fuckers?!

I don't know like a
fucking chinese guy

Chinese like you?
I dunno, they're in suits

- Come on, uhm W've gotta
move. - How chinese?

Less than me, more
than me I dunno

- What do you mean? I's important.
- Come on. We gotta go, Come on. Come on.

Wha's going on Benson?

Just go to the back door.
Just go to the back door!

You left the door open.

Ah, fuck it. Back
door come on. Oh

Well cuz, Harry home is he?

Uhhh, he just left

The answer you were looking
for is Super Chinese.

Shut up you fucking eejit.

Looks like these two boys
had quite the fucking party.

Bills not gonna be happy about
this. Ah lads. What are ye like?

I dunno man, I just
got back. H's...

...in a bad way. He's
just covered in coke.

Our coke!

I dunno whose coke it is all I
know is that I just got back...

...and my uncles not here. So,

we just need to find
him and sort this out

Ah no worries kid.
Tha's our job,

we just got to tie
up some loose fucking ends.

What loose ends?
Whose loose ends?

Oh we're not loose
ends are we man,

I mean Lord of the Rings had like ten different loose endings.

Our boss has spent a lot of time
and effort looking for this key.

So 'm, ah, sorry
to say lads but ah,

doesn't look too good for you,
having it smashed and covered in cocaine.

- Oh jesus. I'm not well, Benson
- What, what are you doing?

Fucking back door come on!

They got away?!

- Will you go the fuck after
them?! - Ah, shit

Francie: Them filth.
Hitting a fucking girl

Come on. Come on

Look 'll have your money,
you don't have to be such a dick about it.

Come on.

- Fucking, Stop that asian lad.
- Come on.

OK. Hey budddy-

Swing me!

- Get the fuck off!
- Benson. Any travellers?

- No. - What about that lad on
steroids?

- H's gone down that way.
- OK, let's go.

Ben.

Hello K? They got away.

Tha's not all
that got away lad.

Who the fuck is this
and where's K?

K? I do't be doing
fucking initials hoi.

You mean the blonde one
though. Yeah, she's here

- For now
- And what do you want?

A fight. Fair and square.

A fight, now that I can do.

Where the fuck do ya wanna meet.

A warehouse. Patrick street.
Graffiti outside. Can't miss it.

Alright so

My fucking other arm.

- My bad, come on.
- Fucking tit

Let's take a break in here,
alright. Come on.

Down the fucking
rabbit hole we go.

Fuck.

Shit.

You seen my skins?

Skins?

Your fucking skins?

After what we just
fucking ran away from.

Your worried about
rolling a fucking joint.

You gotta be fucking joking me

- I hope I didn't drop them when
we- - When we, when we what?

When we left the fucking
party back there?!

I's logic, Benson. Alright.

If you do't have your skins,
you don't have them. You lost them.

Waters wet. You fucking prick.

What? Ah man.

I ripped my fucking pants.

Oh, can this fucking
day get any worse?!

No, no, no, no

We gotta find skins.

If we can find skins, I can
just roll us a big fat joint

and we can just forget
this whole fucking thing.

Benson, you don't
even have weed.

Oh no

Mysterious Voice: Hoi!

Can you believe this gowl?

Y're running for
yer fucking lives

and all he cares about is
Fucking smoking his brains out.

Some fucking friends you have

What? What are ya looking at?

YOU!

You prick. None of this
would have happened without you.

Be grand money.
Be an easy fucking job.

- I's all your fault. You know nothing.
- How is this fucking my fault? Huh?

For fuck sake!

You're a big boy now, are't ya?
You took the

fucking thing, you wanted
money for college,

alright I needed fucking
money too, alright.

You said yes.
Ghost - Listen to him, hoi.

He could sweet talk,
the fucking tits off a hooker.

Don't believe any of his
fucking shite, do ya hear me!?

You're fucking dead.

You prick.

Dead! Nope.

- Not happening.
- Fucking nutjob.

Probably still fucking
whacked off of the fucking coke

Probably, yeah

Man, what the fuck
are we gonna do?

Look, man

I know we fucked up.

I know things are
messed up now, but...

come on I need you here
with me right now, alright?

You're the only thing I have

You're the only thing left.

Alright, so what the fuck
are we gonna do,

alright
cause those other two man

the're the craziest cunts
I've ever met in my life

If you ask me. This
is bigger than them.

You know. Harry would't
just fuck me over.

Fuck YOU over!?

Sorry Fuck US over.

Nah, the rat that he is,

h'd lay low for a bit.

You know. Wait for
the dust to settle.

- Fucking sure of it.
- Tha's a lot of fucking dust

and I know if I was
Harry Clancy, man

I'd be on the first plane
to fucking New Mexico man,

- dias de los muertos.
- Nah, nah, nah.

Not Harry.

I know him.
H's afraid of flying.

H'd stay somewhere.

Somewhere familiar.

H's in the fucking
holiday home,

I know he is. I could
bet money on it.

I'm not gonna sit in this
fucking tunnel any longer right.

I'm, 'm going to that house.

I'm finding that man

and I'm getting the answers that I fucking
want whether you are coming with me or not.

I'm going, 'm going right now.

Whether or not yo're going
with me man, 'm going

Wait up ya cunt. 'm with ya

K?

K?

D? It's a trap.

Fuck Figured as much

Fair fucking play to ya hoi.
Did't think you'd actually have the balls to show up?

Show up? Sure, I do't even
know who the fuck you are.

- Wha're you on about?
- You do't recognise me?

You and your boss did a little bit of work with me and my step brother.

A lad by the name of Banger.

Did you hear about him at all,
you fucking yellow bastard ya.

Yeah? And what has
that to do with us?

Your step brother
never showed up the other night

and w're here trying
to fix things while you

fucking donkeys are throwing
spanners in the works.

So yo're trying to say
you did't kill Banger boy.

Don't mind that Bookie.

They know the're fucked,
the'll say fucking anything.

H's telling the
truth, you imbecile.

Look, we didn't kill
Banger and his crew.

Right, it was two lads working
with Harry Clancy

and w're trying to get them
just as much as ye are

Maybe, uh, they did't
kill Banger so?

We did kill that special case
what couldn't talk properly,

remember that? That was
fucking brilliant

Ya fucking what?

Ya killed Tic Tac, you
dumb yellow fuck!

Boys!

Wha's the plan?

The Usual.

Alright!

Hoi beoure!

Strong Willie: I
don't hit women.

But he does

Will you go out with me?

No.

Fuck!

D?! D?!

For fucks sake, let him go!

Let him go you bastard!

You fucking bastard!

Let him go!

Let him go

Let him go

Did't anyone ever tell you not to mess with a fucking traveller?

Your breath smells like shit

Boss, you alright boss?

I'm a bit torn up but
I'm not too bad.

- Tough aul' bastards hoi.
- Not a patch on you Francie

Ya think they were telling the truth about..
Harry and Bangers killers?

Aye. Wouldn't see any need
for them to be lying hoi,

but, do't worry hoi,
w'll find them.

- Alright boss.
- Go on

Look, how long are you gonna be?

Like I do't have much
fucking time, alright?

Like ok, look,

half an hour right. No
longer no fucking later.

Alright. Right, Right,
Right. Good luck.

Fucking clowns.

You've had a hard day.

Might as well. Just a baby one.

YURT!
Alright.

What fucking time is it?

That was fucking quick.

Ah man, I'm fucking wrecked
out of my fucking tits.

Jesus, Ben!

Ahhh, just relax there
I'll get you a glass of Fanta!

- Bitch! - Come on. Grab his
legs will ya.

Ah, jesus. Fucking christ

Good work, compadre!

Wakey, wakey

- Cunt.
- Ah jesus,

Ben. Ho're you lad?

How are ya? Are you for real?

You left us high and dry
in the presence of assassins

and gypsys.

Why?

You fucking spastic.

Assassins?

I think you've been watching too
many Quentin Tarantino Films.

What? Fucking cunt.

Can you please stop doing that?

I've a woeful fucking migraine.

Ah fucking shut up,
I'll do it again.

So, care to share with the group

what was so important,
that you felt like selling our your nephew

and his best bud?

You think you're
his best friend?

He was way better friends than
you, trust me about that.

Remember your one,

do you remember we were at the
party, the time at your gaff.

Remember the blonde one,
she was good craic. She was a fucking friend.

AWWW. You fucking cunt. Oh.

Fuck. Fuck. Oh,

your mother should have
a-fuckin-borted ya, you cunt.

Now, right, before things get
a little bit more unpleasant,

how about you answer my best
friends fucking question!

Look at this little
bollocks huh?

Leaving ye out like crippled rabbits for hungry greyhounds so he was.

Cunt.

I's not fair is it.
I's not fair Jason.

He does't deserve
to live, do he?

- Wha's on the USB, Harry?
- What USB?

Oh, tha's I was transferring a
load of porn over for the trip,

- ya know.
- Don't be smart.

OH, I fucking know.

Those assassin pricks the other day,
were't looking for the drugs Benson.

They were looking for something
a bit more important.

Something that YOU smashed

and left me with.

Wha's on the USB?

To be honest I ca't really
make out what you're saying.

Heads a bit foggy from all the fucking punches this clown was giving me

Oh Yeah? 'll fucking
do it again now.

Look to your left.

Your other left you handicap.

For a fucking coward,
you're acting pretty fucking brave now, are't ya!

Harry; Yeah,
well I guess stupidity runs in the fucking family.

Ye lads haven't a fucking clue

Ye do't know what y've fucking
gotten yerselves into-

- Jay, what are you doing?
- Benson, will you shut the fuck, up!

Harry, I have had it up to here

with the bullshits and the mindgames
and the travellers and fucking everything!

Now you're gonna tell me

You're cutting me,
you're cutting me

and my best friend,
what we want to know,

or I swear to god Harry,
I will saw your head off Harry.

I will fuck you up.

Come on!

Stick it in his neck to fuck.

End this shite now

and sure look, stick it in the chink and all.
He's no fucking good to you.

Go home then to bed
and have a wank for yerself.

What the fuck are you doing bringing this lunatic into my house?!

Shut up! Jay, you alright?

Man, fucking Banger

H's been in my head,
ever since that cunt turned me into a dime bar.

I'm losing my shit. Alright come
here. Fucking relax alright.

You're just fucking seeing him.

H's dead. Do you hear me?

Come on, I need you here with me
Come on. Stay, come on!

- Kiss and make up boys.
- Ohh, Shut the FUCK up!

I fucking knew he'd be bad like

but I did't think h'd be this
bad, not this fucking quick

What the fuck you talking about?
thought you patched him up?

What the fuck did you do to him?

I fucking Benson 'm a
fucking vet, not a surgeon.

I mean, all I could do
was give him some pain meds,

give him somewhere to rest up.

Hope like, three,
four, five days

was the max h'd get.
Which is why it kind of felt like not that big of a deal,

- to kind of leave him.
- Shut up.

I'm just saying.

You're lying.

You fucking sack of shit!

Benson,

I don't think the sack of shi's
lying this time around.

Thank you! - Shut up.

I knew the minute I woke up.

- I feel more beanbag than human
- Yo're still a fucking pussy,

You know I thought for a second,
I actually thought,

this cunt has a bit of balls
but sure look you don't.

You're only a fucking gomey

Do you ever fucking stop?

Look, right Benson

Like this guy that was
working with Banger.

- He took my daughter alright.
- What?

You have a daughter?

- I never knew - I never
wanted anyone to know because

they could use it against me

and tha's exactly
what this Man in Black has done.

- Like Will Smith?
- No, you fucking clown.

I's a perfectly
reasonable question

H's the main
distributor of drugs

coming in from the far east,
into the Irish market

and he is fucking bad news.
Just untie me

I'm not fucking joking around.
I know this guy.

My aim was to take this contact list,
tha's the USB that you have,

take that, trade it off,
get my daughter back

put all this to bed.
That was what I wanted.

What were you gonna do?

Huh? You were gonna just make
a sweet deal with him, was it?

And leave us here
leave ME here

and what? Fuck off to Lanzarote
or something, huh?!

You were supposed to be
my family, you cunt!

I know.

I just ca't get it through
to you can I, please.

If you untie me,

we can all work together on
this. We can take this guy out.

We can get my daughter
back, please.

Just listen to me.

Shut up.

You're a fucking
coward you know that.

Trying to weasel your way out
of everything you fucking do.

Please! Help!

Benson, what the fuck
are we going to do?

- Shut up. - We need to shut him
the fuck up, now.

Harry, this is your last
fucking chance. Shut up.

Come on. Kill them
all. Simple job.

The're fucking drugged out of
their minds, the mad pricks.

Seriously, somebody fuckin...

I think you killed him

- Yeah?
- Pizza for, uh, Harry Clancy?

Is it paid for?

- Yeah? - Alright, Go on, slide
it through

What the fuck are you
still standing here for?

Tip?

Yeah, alright.

I'll give you a fucking tip lad,

yeah. Here. Snort yourself
out for the evening.

Tip? That's the
whole damn shaft!

H's gonna sleep tonight.

I have an odd feeling,
that he won't.

Ah man, Pineapple.

I think tha's, Harrys phone

Sure look, it's not me any way.

I's not him any way.

Will I answer it?

What have we got left to lose?

Hello?

I see that you got away just in the nick of time,
Mr. Clancy?

Mmm-Hmmm.

How many more people have to
die, before I get my key back?

You, your friends

or perhaps your family?

Hoi, do't you fucking
threaten my family, you cunt.

Ah, this is't Harry. Is it?

No. No it's not.

H's a bit, tied
up at the moment.

So yo're talking to me!

Do you know what Harry
has actually done?

Pissed off a load of fucking
maniacs by the looks of it

He has something
belonging to me.

- Something very important.
- What? The Key?

- Yeah, we got the cliff notes version.
- It is of no use to you

Maybe

but I have about 800
friends on Facebook

and about half of them
are drug dealers

and I'm fucking certain the'd
love to get the main supplier.

You know what I'm saying?

What is your name, Boy?

Benson Yau and I'm
no fucking boy.

What is it you want Mr. Yau?

Being honest,
I just want a shot at the cunt who put us in this mess.

Ya know? I do't even
have to beat you

I just want one, clean,
solid shot at your big thick skull, you cunt.

You have my attention

I'm gonna send
you a location.

You're gonna meet me
there at dawn Alone

- OK?
- If you do't show,

I will scorch the fucking
earth to find you

and everyone yo've ever loved

and personally dismember them.

Bye for now.

I'm guessing that was our buddy.

This
Man in Black

Yeah and I think I just signed
my own fucking death warrant.

As much as I hate to say it,

but I think we gotta do right by

that dead prick.

His daughter

She has no part in any of this.

What are we gonna do?

Amigo,

I's all good bro

I've got an idea-

- Jay. Jay. Jay! Come on man.
Don't fucking leave me here.

Hoi, wake up.
Come on, Jay.

JAY!

Nothing like a good chinese,
boy. Fucking full as fuck.

Did ye hear from the boys lads?

Sure how the hell would I know Francie.
Yo'd know before I would.

Shut the fuck up and
get back to work.

- What the fuck is this, hoi?
- Sure how the fuck do I know, Francie?

Harty

Call the fucking boys.

Hunts back on.

I do love me a hunt, Francie.

I need you to stay behind Mikey.

I get you boss. Call for Backup?

No, cause you're a fucking ham.

Don't forget the blonde bitch down by the boats,
you fucking precum.

Don't talk about my
beoure like that

Alright, 'm here.
Are we doing this?

You're the bulb off
your au' fella.

I would't know.
He left before I could care.

Now let me get this straight

This guy Banger, fucks
you over for a key

Then my uncle, fucked him over

and then he fucked over,
me and my best mate

Who is now dead

and I came here to get killed

Yeah.

I tear apart anything
that gets in my way

and eat them alive.

Look, man I do't fucking care.

I've fucking. Killed people.

I'm not the same man

I just want this to be over.

- Bill. Bill Hart.
- What?

Tha's my name.

I thought you might like
to know before I kill you.

Look man, you have
your fucking key,

you have your drugs in the boot.

All I want is my fucking
uncles daughter.

He does't have a daughter

Fucking cunt. H's fucking
with me even from the grave

So what's it gonna be?

Quick or slow?

So,

tha's how i's gonna be is it?

Alright.

Whoa. I should have known
it was gonna go down like this.

You know yo're a lot more
like your father than you thi-

- You know what I
hate about this job.

When you get to the top,
you don't get your hands dirty anymore.

So that's how it is, is it?

Just like that.
No bother man.

Just try and stay standing long
enough for me to enjoy it.

No bother, come on.

Fuck!

Fuck you!

I really thought yo'd make
it more difficult for me.

To be honest, I'm a little
fucking disappointed.

Oh yo're good Benson.
Very good!

Fucking good enough to
kill Banger, aren't I?

You say that as if it's
a fucking good thing.

H's fucking lucky you got him,

because I would've killed
that cunt slow and painful

for the misery he's caused me.

You don't fucking get it do ya?
Huh?

Even if you fucking kill me,

you're still fucked!

There are d's and don'ts in
this business, Mr. Benson.

- Yeah?
- Number one.

Don't ask stupid
fucking questions.

Number two.

Don't fuck around.
Get the job done!

And number three,

don't put your nose
in business that is't yours

I's been a pleasure Mr. Benson.

- I's been a pleasure.
- Hoi Hoi.

You're done.
Oh yo're done.

Wha. Jesus.

Go on.

Say it like I fucking told ya.

You'll sound like a mad bastard.

Go on.

- There's a third don't
- Go on.

Who the fuck are you?

Don't

Look
in the boot

Fair fucking play to you boy.

You fucking did it and all.

See what I told you
from the start.

Simple job.

Hoi,

you better have fists
to go fighting.

What

I's the fucking Boys!

You gotta be joking

Listen lads,

gonna come up here and we're gonna fucking kill the lot of them, alright?

w're live here with Paddy the pitbull Pikey's,
fucking youtube channel boy.

W're about to head down
to the middle of nowhere

W're gonna go away and fuck-
What are you doing Paddy boy?

I'm telling all the fucking live
fans about our fucking raid boy.

W're gonna fuck em all up.

I'm fucking telling ya.
No fucking prisoners,

w're gonna fuck
them all up, Francie.

Gonna get that Harty
cunt as well, alright?

Get the fucking lot
of them the pricks

I love the fucking chinese,
I love the fucking caucasians.

What the fuck did you do now?

Oh shut the fuck up you gowl,
we need to move!

I know something,
I've got something

Oh, tell me you've
got a hand grenade.

What are you doing?

You and your uncle have
so much in common!

Barricade the door!

It opens out, we need to move,
come on!

Well that's one fucking
job done, hai.

Fair play Francie.

- Go on. Look for them lads. Look.
- Nah, nah, nah, nah. Sunshine.

You stall back here,
be a good boy.

I got this, Francie.

Sure ther's no one
here, Francie.

Paddy, No! Paddy!

YOU! Get the fuck out here.

Get up.

Don't ever mess with
a fucking traveller!

Safetys on.

No, no, no. Listen
to me. Listen to me

We can work something out hai.

Let's not try to be too
fucking hasty, listen

What the fuck are
they feeding you?!

Oh, you big bastard, you

Fucking skins!

I feel like I had an orgy with
every member of Slipknot

Don't make me laugh, you cunt.

He fucking finger fucked me
like a young one at a disco man

Man, honestly though, man

More are gonna come

and more after that
and after that

i's not gonna stop.

They can keep coming man

W'll be ghosts.

Shit Get my jacket.

- Why?
- Just get my jacket.

- OK. Oh, sorry Ben.
- For what?

Nothing Ah,

Oh you snake, you said you
did't have any weed.

I was saving it.

At least we did right
by Harr's daughter

Fuck that cunt.

You know he did't have
a daughter at all.

We came all the way
out here for nothing.

I'm not surprised

Everyone in this town,
played us for fucking fools

Look where that got them.

Do you have a lighter? - Yeah.

Do you have saliva?

I got some blood,
but you shouldn't.

Ok

So what now?

Jay?

Jay?

Made you cry.

You fucking cunt.

Yeah, I deserved that.

I bet you're dancing in heaven
with Bookie now are't ya?

So, I was thinking
you and me maybe

go out to Mickey Martins this
Tuesday? Would ya like that?

Ya know, get dressed up
real fancy like. Ya know.

Be class if you came back
as a zombie Zom-beoure!

Ha! Wha's that?

Wha's that in your pocket babe,
did you leave a little gift for magic Mike, did ya?

Fuck

Oh babe, yo're too good to me.

They thought Bill Harty was bad

Wait til they get a load of me.