The Taming of the Scoundrel (1980) - full transcript
A grouchy farmer, known around his small Italian town as being wonderful to his employees, but actively driving everyone else away, is in for a surprise when a beautiful girl from the city, ends up on his stoop after her car breaks down in the rain.
Good morning.
Good morning.
-I am a reporter from ?The Farmer?s
Magazine?. - Good.
Why don?t you write we needs funds
from the Province!
The crop is wasted!
4 months with no rain!
I am here for another reason.
I?d like to get info, gossips..
..about a famous farmer in this area
- Who is he?
Elia Codogno.
Elia! What did he do?
-Nothing.
Today it?s is 40th birthday.
What kind of person is he?
Bad mood. A bear,
despotic and bossy.
- He has no friends.
- Is he really unmanageable?
He can even fight with the barber!
After he cut his hair
he put the mirror behind his head
and he said they were too short.
When my daughters had a party
and played some music.
-He sued me for making noise.
You live 2km away from him!
He said I woke up his chickens!
Elia sued everybody in this town.
Even me. - Who are you?
I am the judge.
- Is Elia married? - Don?t mention women,
or he?ll smash your head.
He doesn?t want to see anybody.
-Does he live alone? - He has a servant...
?she?s trying to find him a wife.
On Sunday she invited a woman at home.
He dressed up like Frankenstein.
The poor girl was so scared
she ran away.
Is he coming here today?
- He already did. He?s playing tennis now.
Do still people want to play with him?
Out! Your match!
I?ll kill you!
Surrender!
I won!
- There he is!
You smoke too much. Enough!
One coffee. - How do you want it?
- Long and ristretto. - Fine.
-This is my stool. Get off!
-Excuse me, I didn?t know that.
My name is... - Stop!
I?ve already met too many people this month.
-I work for ?The Farmer?s Magazine?.
- I don?t.
-Sugar?
- Two uneven sugar cubes.
Our magazine would like to honor you
with an article on first page.
Do I need to pay? - No.
What do you want to know?
While I was waiting,
your friends told me about you.
What did they say? - They didn?t say
very nice things.
You are a famous and funny person.
But you have a very bad behavior.
What? I bad behavior?
(altogether) Yes, you do!
Really?
You say this because you are in a group,
but one by one...
- Do I have a bad behavior?
Yes. - You are a brave man.
People say he?s grumpy
because he?s not married.
Am I grumpy because not married?...
I understand!
You, ??married?? man,
you dare to say that?
The marriage ruined your life!
Women have changed you.
Nothing to say about you. I pity you.
You had a forest on your head!
You were slim!
Move away, ?Easter egg?.
-You were a champion of arm wrestling.
- Right, so what?
So, show me how strong you are,
married man!
You were 2.40mt, tall
and you could spot a bird one miles away.
And now you can?t even spot your own!
You pity me? I feel fine, and strong.
Can any of you do this at 40 years old of age?
Well done!
He?s good!
With no hands.
- Good morning, Elia.
- Good morning.
Whistling
Move on! Jump!
Higher! Come on!
Father Cirillo! - Hi. I?m training my guys.
On Monday we have a basketball final match.
Are you coming? On Monday I?ll be in Bruxelles...
..for the agreement on the red beets.
-Too bad! It?s going to be a nice match.
- I don?t care about basketball.
- By the way, no rain here.
-What can I do about it?
You can pray. - I pray every night.
Pray more.
Elia...
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
Don?t you think it?s time
to think about your future?
-At your age you should...
- I know...same old story!
- I am not going to get married.
-You are strong, you are a man...
..healthy, strong...
- Hands off!
- It?s time to look for a woman.
- And you? - Me what?
I believe there are moments of
passion and desire.
uncontrollable impulses, moments of torments
when the flesh is torn apart.
- Don?t you have such moments?
- Sure. - And what do you do then?
- I go into the wood hut
and cut the woods. And you?
I ring the belles.
Do you ring them often?
Bye, Cirillo. See you around.
Come on, guys! Let?s ring the bells.
I mean, let?s play basketball.
Come on! Jump!
Tonio, this is not a sowing season.
- This is wheat for the crows.
Feeding the crows means that you are a nice person.
- Which kind of wheat is it?
- It?s poisoned.
So they will all die!
- Not even one will be left!
- Why you do that?
Dry season, and the crows too!
I plant oat, and they eat it.
I plant corn, and they eat it.
And what shall I eat?
-If I don?t kill them, I?ll starve.
-Why don?t you talk to them.
What do you mean?
They are all black and ugly!
They should die all at once!
THE CROWS CAW
Shut up!
Who?s the boss here?
Are you sure?
Beyond the river
there is a wonderful field.
The owners abandoned it. Two hectares.
There?s food for the all of you down there.
Go!
Animals are not like man,
you can talk to them!
Remember that.
Hi, Elia. - Did I say hi to you?
- Damn!
-Good morning, boss.
-Hi, Michele.
-Hi, Elia!
-Take care of the bushes! - I will.
-Hi, Biagi.
-Hi, Elia.
-Hi, Elia.
-Hi, cutie. - Hi.
-Hello. - Have a nice day.
-Thanks. Bye, guys.
Today you avoided me.
PIANO SOUND
Damn! She plays music.
- Who?s she?
- Who are you talking about?
- You know who. Who?s she?
- She?s a nice woman.
She?s the niece of a friend of mine
who lives in town.
She?s good. She?s 29, a teacher?s degree,
she can cook...
Can you hear? It looks like an angel!
I don?t want foreign people in my house,
women especially. - I know.
But you could talk to her for a while.
- If you talk to her, she?ll not be a stranger anymore.
- Do you think so? ? I do.
I studied music at the conservatory.
During the final exam I played
?Notturno 18? from Chopin.
I play for myself...
..to improve my soul. Music improves
our own sensations.
I don?t need to work.
I inherited a good sum of money.
When I?ll decide to get married,
if I?ll ever find the right person...
I am not looking for a prince.
I don?t need him to be handsome.
Appearance is not everything.
Man beauty is relative, isn?t it?
What is important is that he?s kind,
well-behaved and with a nice smile.
Eh! Eh! Eh!
ELlA WHISTLES
- What happened? Where did she go?
-Who? The girl.
-She had something urgent to do.
-Tell me the truth!
- You did Frankenstein?
- Nope, I did Dracula.
-Come here! I like your dark blood!
- Leave me alone!
We must hire 20 farmers
to press the grapes.
It is going to be very expensive.
-Is that your money? - No, it?s yours.
- Why? - Because it?s not mine.
- Go on. As your accountant
and administrator...
.. I suggest you to buy a machine.
a presser that makes the job
of 3 men in half-time!
- What about the families of the unemployed farmers?
- Progress can be cruel.
Can you assure me that this machine
performs the job of 3 men in half-time?
-Hundred times hundred!
- What?s the result?
-Ten thousand.
- Why?
That?s life!
(singing)
Come on!.
(singing).
??Press hard and sing along??
??Golden grapes...??
..sweety treasure??.
??Don?t stop??
??Press hard and sing along??
(singing).
(singing)
?? You are strong and will win!??
??Grapes and happiness??.
??You?ll make it??.
??Don?t stop??.
??Each drop is a treasure??.
??Don?t stop??.
??You are the strongest,
and you?ll win??.
??If you believe in what you do...??
..you?ll see you can make it??.
??Like the fly of a seagull??
??You are strong and you will make it!??
(SING)
?? Flowers and fantasy??
??Come on!??
??Party of colors??.
??Press hard and sing along??
??green leaves, blue sky...??
singing
singing.
??You?ll make it??
-Good! - Will you buy it? - No.
I?ll buy another machine. - Which one?
An adding machine. It makes the job
of three accountants in half-time.
You won! Good, Elia!
-It?s raining!
-Is it raining? - Yes, it is.
-It?s raining!
- Is it raining? - Yes, let?s go!
Check!
I?m going to the wine cellar.
I won?t play with you anymore.
I can?t accept your excuses.
> Bell! Bell.
Can you open the door?
BELL
Can you open?
I open.
THUNDER
- May I come in?
- Why?
Because it?s raining.
Not so much.
Well? Will you let me in?
- I don?t know you.
- My name is Lisa.
- That?s not your fault.
- Don?t be silly!
I?m getting wet. - Me too.
The water falls on your hat...
..and splashes on my shirt.
- You have 5 seconds to let me in.
It?s pouring down, there are no other houses
and I?m tired. Let me in!
My car broke.
I?m looking for a place to sleep.
-I can recommend you an hotel.
-Is there an hotel? - Hotel Corona.
- Three stars.
-Where is it? - 15km away.
Can you take me by car?
- I can?t. - I can?t walk 15km
under the rain!
I can give you my bike.
- Please, let me sleep here!
-As you prefer, but here is stiff.
- Where? - Here.
Are we monsters?
Can?t we let this lady in?
I would like to smash your head
and put some kindness inside!
Come in, miss.
You can sleep in the guestroom.
- Is there a guestroom?
-Yes, we just never use it. Follow me.
Thanks. Very kind of you!
- I need my suitcase to get a change.
- Where is it? - In the car, outside.
-The suitcase is outside.
- I heard that. You go and get it.
-Me? It?s raining! You go.
- I am not going. - What?
Who is going?
Are you going?
- She can go, she?s already wet!
- You are crazy! I go.
- Give me the umbrella, I?ll get it.
- You can sit by the fireplace...
..or you?ll get sick.
I knew I would be the one to go!
Tell me something.
I?m talking to you. Are you listening?
Aren?t you listening?
- Why should I listen to you?
You came imperiously into my house,
you splashed my shirt.
My dog checked.
I can?t listen to you.
You can say whatever you want, I can?t listen.
- Are you always so rude to women?
Am I rude?
- You get angry, you don?t look at me!
Just move a little bit.
Move away from the fire.
- Why? - You are burning.
- Me? - Your dress is burning.
I can?t stand smoke.
This is the guestroom.
That?s nice!
- I hoped someday somebody...
..would use it.
I?ll prepare the bed for you.
I?ll put two blankets.
Night is cold here.
This is the bathroom.
Thanks. I don?t know how to do without you.
- Please, excuse him.
He?s a wild bear. But he?s a nice man.
-Nice?
- This is the wardrobe.
-Can I make a call?
-Sure, I?ll connect you. - Thanks.
- Done. I bet you are hungry.
Dinner is in half hour.
Is dinner ready?
Yes. We have a guest.
Are you going to eat dressed like that?
You should at least wear a tie.
TELEPHONE RINGING
Hallo? - Hi, Renata.
- Lisa! What happened?
You left Portofino at 4!
Vittorio is worried. Where are you?
The car is broken and it?s raining.
I am lodging in a farmhouse.
I?ll call Vittorio. Vittorio!
-It? Lisa.
- Thanks.
- Lisa! Where are you?
- I am in Rovignano.
-It?s near Voghera.
-I can come to pick you up.
No problem, I?ll sleep here.
See you tomorrow.
It?s only half hour by car. No,
don?t worry. I?ll call you tomorrow.
-Are you sure? - Yes, I am. Kiss.
- What do you say? - Kiss, goodbye.
-Ok, I?ll talk to her.
- Renata wants to speak to you.
- Well? - Well?
- There?s something strange with you.
Are you spending the night in a farmhouse?
Is he a nice man? -Who?-
The owner. Is he nice?
- He?s weird, mysterious.
-He?s charming!
- That looks serious...
- I like him
-Just tell me how he looks like.
- I can?t. I?m having dinner with him soon.
I need to look nice. Bye.
- Mamie!
See? I?m wearing a tie.
I know I should also wear a coat...
- Is dinner ready?
- Yes, it is.
- We must WAIT for our guest.
- But we said half hour!
It?s more than 31 minutes. I am eating.
What a nice butterfly!
It?s an ??euchelia nupta??.
It?s a very rare nocturnal species.
There are 20 left all over Europe.
- Do you like it?
- It?s cute.
- Look, Mamie. Do you like it?
- It?s disgusting!
- Is it really disgusting?
- Yes, it is.
Collectors would pay a lot of money to have it.
- Do you like animals?
- A lot.
- And people?
Not so much, especially if they are strangers.
Then we could try to become
less strangers to each other.
I don?t know your name.
- What?s your name?
- Lisa. And yours?
Elia.
- Nice name.
It?s the name of a prophet
and you look mysterious too.
- Can you tell the future? - I do.
- And what can you tell?
That your soup will get cold
if you keep talking.
I am thirsty.
THUNDER
Thanks.
- You know something, Elia?
?Elia??
Yes. I was thinking
you have a nice house.
It?s comfortable, warm, silent.
I live in the centre of Milan.
There?s a lot of traffic.
I can?t even sleep at night.
I went to Portofino to relax.
But I met the same old people...
..like in Milano.
In Portofino I own a house on the beach.
You are invited.
- What about next summer?
- I must work in the fields.
- What about next December, on the snow?
- I must work to bottle the wine.
- Don?t you never go on holiday?
- I don?t need to.
Holiday is when you do something you don?t like.
I like my job.
But you have time to red...
Interesting bookshelf!
I read before going to sleep.
I like spy stories. And you?
I have no preferences.
- What happened?
- The electric power is off.
- Hold my hand. I am scared.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Elia.
Happy birthday to you!
- Is it your birthday? - Yes, it is.
- Happy birthday!.
What shall I do? - Blow the candles.
And a very big blow.
Shit! Too big!
- one, two, three, four...
- They?re forty. - Are you 40?
- You look younger. - I know.
- I am 25.
- I wouldn?t say that. - Thanks.
- You look 26.
Stupid!
Miss, he?s not a nice person!
- You are so rude!
- I was kidding.
Can you believe I was kidding?
A little gift.
- Is it for me?
- Sure.
I bought it in Portofino
- What is it? - Don?t ask, just open it!
CARILLON MUSIC
Where shall I put it?
I can put it here.
No, better here.
Or here.
Here it looks fine.
It?s not raining anymore!
- Well?
- You can go to the hotel.
- Do you want me to walk 15km? - I do.
You?re crazy! - Walking after dinner
helps to digest and to sleep.
- It?s far away!
- I can give you my bike.
- I never gave it to anybody.
Later I can have it back.
Or you can keep it, if you want.
I can buy another one.
Fine, I got it.
Thanks to this farmer gentleman.
Thanks for the dinner...
.. for the cake I didn?t eat,
and for the friendship I didn?t get!
Stupid and rude!
Scoundrel!
What?s the name of the hotel?
- Hotel Corona.
- I can?t even find the yellow pages!
Here they are.
Walking or biking!
They?ll pick me up.
- You can go biking!
The sooner I leave this place, the better!
- I can?t stay one minute more!
Who does he thinks he is?
Your suitcase is ready.
- Hotel Corona...
- Here?s the number, 72010.
- Is this yours?
- Yes, it is.
TELEPHONE RINGING
Hallo? Speaking to Hotel Corona?
- No, this is a gas station.
- Can I book a room? - This is a
gas station. Need gas?
- A single with bathroom.
- Need water for the battery?
- Not even a double?
- Need gas?
I understand, you?re full.
It doesn?t matter. Thanks
I?ll report to the Tourism Department!
Fuck!
What can I do now? Is there another hotel
on top of the mountain somewhere?
Or can I have the honor
to sleep in the stable?
Fine, you can stay.
But only for tonight.
- If you were not 40 I would spank you.
- Why?
You go to bed early, I don?t.
Where can I go?
It?s only 10 pm.
- That?s true, it?s early.
SHUT UP! Play something.
Is there a theatre? - Yes, there is.
-Fine!- It is open only on thursday.
- Is there a place to listen at some music?
- It?s closed.
If you want some music,
Mamie plays much better than Casadei.
- Isn?t that true, Mamie?
- That?s true.
- There?s nothing to do here!
- You can look at Ganimede. - A friend of yours?
It?s the third satellite of Jupiter.
- How funny...!
It is situated between Europe and Callisto.
It was discovered by Galileo.
Let?s go on the roof.
Maybe we will see it.
-Ganimede is very shiny.
I am not interested in astronomy.
- Let?s watch some TV.
- I don?t have a TV. - Yes, you do.
There?s a TV upstairs.
- I can have a look, but I know there isn?t.
- There it is! - This one?
I?ve always used it as a stool.
I use to sit here and count.
- Let?s go!
I think Ganimede was a better idea.
MUSIC FROM TV
I like comedies a lot.
Aren?t they funny?
No, they aren?t.
Look what?s happening!
Did you see how he fall?
Look! Isn?t that funny?
- I?m sorry for him.
- Somebody falling is comic!
He?s hurt!
How can you cry,
This is the basis of humor!
It?s mathematic. The banana peel
and a well dressed man.
The man slips on the banana peel,
falls and that should makes you laugh.
You don?t laugh.
- No. - You don?t like comedies,
you don?t like to laugh.
You don?t like anything!
- No.
- Bye.
Bye.
FALLING NOISE
Ouch!
Ouch!
-Are you hurt?
- Yes, a lot!
Are you laughing?
You said when somebody gets hurt,
people should laugh.
Are you really hurt?
She?s hurt!
I will help you. Carefully.
Put your hand here.
That?s it.
We?ve arrived.
- What are you doing?
- I like your ears.
Time to sleep.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
BANGS
Elia, did you repair Miss Lisa?s car?
One moment!
DOG WHINING
What?
ENGINE NOISE
DOOR KNOCKING
- What time is it?
- It?s very late. It?s 7am.
- The sun is shining and the car is fixed.
- Good morning, Elia.
Good morning. Or better, goodbye.
I am going to work.
-See you when I?ll go to Milan.
- When? - In a couple of years.
- Ouch!
- What?s up?
My foot hurts.
It?s because I fell yesterday.
I think it?s swollen.
-Ouch!
- Does it hurt here? - Yes, it does.
- And here?
- Ouch!
Here too?
- Yes. - Get off.
I?ll try to walk.
Ouch!
I can?t walk.
What a terrible pain!
I?m sorry to create trouble,
but I can?t leave.
I?ll call the veterinary.
- Don?t! I know myself.
I?ve already sprained once.
Two days at rest and it will go away.
- Why don?t you stay with me for a while?
- I?m busy.
- Where?re you going? - At Ernesto?s place.
- He has pneumonia!
- Did I ask you how is he doing?
- No, you didn?t.
The door!
The shoes!
The window!
- Are you making a call? - I am.
- Without asking fro permission? - Nope.
Fine.
TELEPHONE RINGING
TELEPHONE RINGING
Hallo. Hallo! Who?s speaking?
The window!
The shoes! The door!
Did you read what they think about you?
That person is not you!
ENGINE NOISE
What are you doing? Are you crazy? Stop!
Stop! Where are we going?
Put me down!
You are crazy!
Stop!
Stop!
Take this!
ldiot! Stupid!
Stop!
Put me down!
Damn! I hate you!
Stop!
DIALOGUE
Bastard! Stupid!
Selfish!
Who do you think you are?
If you want to go to Hotel Corona,
you should know it?s close for restoration!
That?s a real woman!
And she smells nice!
- What do you want? > She?s cute.
Barbarian!
Impertinent!
Brute!
Monster!
Son of a bitch!
Stupid!
Silly!
Mentally handicapped!
Stronzo! - Are you talking to me?
- What do you want? Gas!
I am such a stupid!
I?ll give him a lesson!
And the gas?
Last night they though I was a porter.
Today she insults me and runs away.
Not a good day. Closed.
Do you want to tell me a vulgar joke?
PIG GRUNTS
You are such a pork.
Something wrong?
You hit me!
That was the bucket.
You are so stupid, so coarse, so rogue!
And what else?
-You are so arrogant.
- I got it, you are in love with me.
- Who, me?
Are you or not? Which is your affirmative answer?
- Well... Yes, I am.
- Just a small detail.
- Which one? - I am not in love with you.
- It?s the bucket?s fault!
That?s incredible!
What? - How many times I told to a man...
.. what you just told me.
- Well?
I was not in love and I?ve said it many times.
I would never believe it could happen to me.
- Don?t get angry.
- I am not angry, I am smiling.
When the bird in the cages smiles,
then he?s angry.
Birds don?t smile, they sing.
- It depends...
If you tell him a nice story...
Once there was a bird...
- Goodbye.
Goodbye?
- I am leaving.
- What do you think?
What do YOU think!
It would have been a mistake,
a wrong choice.
How do you know?
A woman like you, living between
Milan, Portofino, CORTONA.
-Cortina!
- Right...
A woman like you can?t fall in love
with a farmer.
You could not resist one week
with the chickens and the pigs.
Stop guessing what I might think!
I would like it a lot, on the contrary.
It?s a hard life. You must always work.
No parties.
Let me try. - No kidding!
- Let me stay and pay you back.
Yes or not?
Which is your affirmative answer?
- You are more stubborn than a mule.
- Finally you give me a compliment!
Well? - You are hired until Monday.
- Why Monday?
- Because on Monday I am going to Bruxelles.
- But today is Saturday!
- But it?s still almost noon.
- Fine.
MUSIC
MAMIE SINGS
- Mamie!
I made it!
-What did you do?
- Elia told me I can stay.
That?s a miracle!
- Lisa, Where are you? - In Rovignano.
- Still there?
- I found a job.
- You? - I am a farmer.
- Are you feeling well?
- Yes, I am.
It?s so nice here with the trees,
the pigs and the chickens.
You never cared about countryside!
Tell me, is there any problem?
I can leave my work for one day and be with you.
- No, everything is ok.
- I just want to stay alone and think.
- Bullshit! - What?
When you finish to think you just give me a call!
Flowers, fantasy.
Today is a happy day.
Colors all over!
Keep on working and smile with us!
The air is light...
..when spring arrives.
Don?t stop!
You are strong and you can make it.
If you believe in what you do...
..you?ll make it!
You are like a seagull.
You are strong and will make it.
You?ll make it!
How magic!
Blooming fields around you.
How poetic!
Keep on working and smile with us!
The sky is bright.
Everything looks nice.
Don?t stop.
You are strong and you?ll make it.
Hi.
- Hi, Elia.
- Jump! Hi!
Hi!
- Anybody missing?
- Only one.
- Wait.
- Ouch!
Ouch!
Ouch!
Go!
Look in which conditions is she!
Slaver!
How did it go today in the farmhouse?
Shall we go party tonight?
Shall we go dancing?
There?s a new disco 35km from here.
We could take the bike.
I am exhausted!
You were right, I am no good at farm works.
I can just give trouble.
I am no good at all.
- Don?t exaggerate.
You are just a bit depressed.
Dry off.
You need something to cheer up.
- Some grappa. Mamie made it. -
-No!
- Spirits weigh me down.
- Fine, no spirit!
- What would you like?
- There?s only one think to cheer me up.
I would like some pot.
Some pot, to smoke.
- I don?t have any.
- Don?t look at me like that!
I know you?re a healthy farmer.
But I like it and it?s good.
But here it?s difficult to find it, isn?t it?
Not for me.
How nice of you! Thanks.
Do you want to smoke?
- Nope.
Can?t tell what you are missing!
I?m already feeling better.
I feel like singing, shouting, dancing.
I want to go out.
I want to have fun. Don?t be a mummy!
Let?s go!
I can?t go out, I need to change.
Let?s see... Shall I wear this one?
No, you are right.
No.
This one? No, that?s too simple.
Here it is!
I can wear this one.
What do you think? Do you like it?
You know what, my dear mummy?
I love tomatoes, I love cows,
and I love a lot the farm life.
It?s fantastic!
I can learn, it?s easy.
You are not depressed anymore.
No, I am fine!
I am happy and satisfied.
And you even look a nice man!
I didn?t know that endive would have
this effects on you. - Endive?
Am I smoking endive?
Sure, I can?t give you marijuana.
- You are a monster!
Cheater! Swindler!
That was a pair of Chinese vases from
Tang dinasty, very valuable...
..and rare.
What shall I do with this one?
- Don?t!
- I don?t need it anymore. - Don?t!
- It?s useless now.
- Don?t!
- May I ?
- Yes!
NOISE
I am happy. They?re finally getting along!
- Nothing left to brake?
- No, that was all.
- Let?s go dancing, then.
- Dancing? - You suggested it before.
- Are you tired? - You are tired.
- I am awake. - I am more awake than you are.
I am more awake than you are.
TANGO
TANGO
ELlA SNORES
Were you sleeping?
- No. You were sleeping.
How do you know? You were sleeping.
-You were. - No, you were!
Let?s go to sleep. - It?s early!
Tomorrow is Sunday.
- Wake up at 5 am to go hunting.
Let?s go to bed. - Ok.
TANGO
They?re turtledoves.
No, they?re ducks.
- But...
Shh! They?re coming.
RUSTLE
Here they are!
He shot me!
Me too!
That?s Elia! Run away!
- They go t what they deserve.
- Good!
-Do you hate hunting too?
Yes, but I couldn?t find the words to tell you.
Let?s get free the hares.
- And put the traps inside
the hunters? houses. - Elia!
Giovannella is giving birth!
It?s premature. - Did you call the doctor?
- It?s Sunday
Everybody went to the lake.
I can?t do it alone.
I need help.
- I?ll help you.
It?s a FEMALE!
Weigh? - 15 kilos.
- I hoped more.
We?ll call her Lisa, is it ok?
Is it ok?
It?s ok.
- It was better to take the bike.
- Today I treat.
I?ll take you in a wonderful place.
You will like it a lot.
First I need gas.
You again!
30,000.
- Are you sure? - I am.
No comments about my dress...
- What should I say?
I am wearing it just for you.
Do you like it?
- You had it on also yesterday
- No I hadn?t.
Yesterday I was wearing something else.
This is from Valentino. - Isn?t it yours?
Just tell me...
- Are you trying to be funny?
- This is my way, funny.
You piss me off!
To you it doesn?t matter
what I wear.
- I could even go out naked!
- You could.
I understand.
Tonight I?ll wear this.
Is it fine?
- No, it isn?t.
You?re ashamed! - No, I?m cold.
What the hell are you looking at?
Did you put gas? - I did.
I?ve also cleaned the windows.
Everything is alright.
Fuck! 340.OOO liras.
I?m leaving.
Good morning, Miss Silvestri.
There?s a table for you.
It?s the best. With view on the lake.
Fish or meat?
- Fish. They?ve the best fish.
This is the wine list.
I suggest a white Bourgogne, class'74.
- No. - Why not?
In 1974 in Bourgogne the vines
were damaged by hail.
What kind of fish do you have?
Carp.
With the carp we should drink
a Mosella white from '76...
..grown on the Rive Gauche,
left side.
Then I suggest a Mosella white from '76.
- Why? - Because in the '14 the vines
in Bourgogne were damaged by hail.
How old are you? - I don?t know.
- I thought less. - Thanks.
You shocked them! Do you like it?
I?d prefer a darker place.
- You?re so romantic!
I like dark too.
It makes everything uncertain.
We can imagine our neighbor?s face.
Smiling, interesting, loveable.
I?d like a darker place to take off my tie.
- Why do you have to spoil everything?
- Me? -Yes, you do.
- Maybe you don?t do it on purpose!
It?s a defence behaviour.
Why don?t you relax sometimes?
Why are you holding my hand?
- Because of my affection for you. Can I?
Yes. But hold it back when we are eating.
- This place is so cute.
- Lisa!
Excuse me.
I haven?t heard of you for a while!
He?s the farmer! Nice guy.
Can I sit here for a while?
- Well... - Thanks.
My name is Renata.
Vittorio is going crazy.
He says that you found a job in a farm.
- That?s true.
Is he your employer?
- Yes, he is.
- Now I understand everything!
Not easy to find such an employer.
Wide shoulders, tanned...
..dark eyes, energetic chin...
- Go on, please. - And funny.
Is there a job for me too in your farm?
- I?ve many skills for you to exploit.
- Don?t be silly.
- What a jealous woman you are.
- Maybe she?s in love.
It must be serious.
It?s very serious to me.
- Very serious!
- You shouldn?t admit it.
Men get bored when women get serious.
They like to have fun without problems.
But you can?t get it!
You like big emotions.
You are looking for the eternal love.
But adventures are better...
- I am hungry.
I?ll grab a snack. Keep on talking.
You bitch!
- Hi, Lisa!
- Hi!
What are you doing?
- What?s going on?
- Ouch!
No!
> Let me go!
Ouch!
- Ouch!
That?s enough!
She?s teasing my man.
- No, he?s teasing me.
Are you teasing my girlfriend?
No. But if you want, I can tease you.
- Ouch!
- Come on, let?s see.
- Wait, I can do that.
This farmer deserves a lesson.
ELlA AND LlSA ARE LAUGHING
That was funny!
Thanks for helping me.
I punched only two of them.
- No, they were three.
And you put his head into the soup...
..and the food tray on his legs
Where are we?
Why are you stopping?
- I?ve been after you for 2 days...
..I take you out to dinner,
I fight with my friend.
Isn?t that obvious
that I want to stay alone with you?
RADIO MUSIC
I?ll tell you a secret.
I like you. I feel good with you.
That was evident.
I?m choking...
Excuse me.
- Did you like it?
- That?s good!
Strawberry flavour.
- How do you know I like strawberries?
Who do you think you are?
You are disgusting!
You?re boastful!
I hate you!
Do you like to walk?
You go back walking!
Where?s the key?
ELlA WHISTLE
Give me my keys!
- Take it. - I will.
Give it to me!
- Did you find it?
- I didn?t. Help me.
I am not crazy. These waters
are full of the ?hirudo medicinalis?.
- What are they?
-They are a kind of leeches.
They stick to your skin.
- That didn?t stop either.
- That?s because you are with me!
Shall I go further?
Go!
Go!
-Elia, need a ride? .
-Thanks.
Stop!
Wait me!
- That?s incredible!
-What?
- I had so much fun.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Elia!
Yes?
-I don?t have much time left to seduce you.
-That?s true!
- Tomorrow you?ll go to Bruxelles.
- Yes, but I am leaving in the afternoon.
You have 18 hours left.
Well, goodnight.
Goodnight.
-Lisa!
-Yes?
-Vittorio is a nice name.
Why don?t you marry him?
Go to the hell!
I like ?Vittorio?.
Go to the hell!
Baldin, stay inside!
He?s much better, now.
He is.
- Next Sunday we?ll play a good match.
Mr Mancarani on the phone.
Excuse me.
Come on!
- Lisa, can you still remember me?
Yes, I miss you so much.
Would you come and pick me up.
I?ll do that.
Don?t you ask me what have I been doing?
- No.
- Aren?t you interested?
- I am not, dear.
- stay where you are, then!
Hallo!
I thought I say a woman in my bed.
What are you doing here?
I want to spend my last night with you.
-What do you mean?
You know what I mean.
- Wait a moment.
-What?
- We don?t know each other very well.
-It doesn?t matter.
That?s important!
You don?t know anything about me.
I know what I need to know.
- We need to talk more.
-You can talk, if you want.
I was born in a cold winter night...
..it was august the 4th at 19,20
in this room.
Downstairs my mum was walking to and fro...
..smoking a cigar.
My mum was a tall blond man,
like my grandma.
But my grandpa had dark hair.
My grandpa...
- Just relax.
Don?t be shy.
No!
You don?t like me.
- I can?t have sex with a woman...
..if I don?t love her.
How many times did you fall in love?- Never.
Goodbye.
Hallo? Still you!
Lisa, I do care for you.
- What have you been up to?
-What do you care?
You pick me up!
Fine, I am coming.
-Good evening.
Horn
Music
music
music
music
music stops
Get my suitcase ready.
A suit, shirts, jumpers...
..Bruxelles is a cold place.
- You make it, I quit.
Why?
- You heart is as hard as a stone.
You met a nice woman..
..and you kicked her out!
This is why you quit?
- Yes.
I don?t want to live anymore
with such a sulky sour person.
.
I like happy people.
Smiling, love, children!
Old bachelor!
Go away!
Women are useless!
Who said women are useful?
That?s better.
Just the two of us.
Right?
Can we be happy?
I don?t need an answer! Go away!
?Lesbian?!
I feel fine, very fine.
I am very fine.
Flight to Bruxelles. Gate 4z.?
?Flight z74 to Bruxelles.
Boarding now.?
Let me pass.
Come on, Cant?!
VOICES
Cirillo, shouldn?t you leave?
- I prefer basketball.
- Since when?
Since today!
VOICES
- How is it going?
What do you think...?
- I am asking you.
- I know.
We are losing 86 to O.
- We are doing bad. Very bad.
What are the rules?
You must put the ball in their basket.
That?s it?
VOICES
SHOUTINGS
VOICES
VOICES
-How is it going?
Very well! t Elia!
SHOUTINGS
Elia!
Alt!
(Audience) Elia!
(audience)
Bravo! Bravo!
VOICES
Is Sunday ok?
- About what? - We get married.
- Lisa, do you know him?
Shut up!
Well?
No.
- I didn?t understand.
- I said no. - Why?
-She answered.
-Shut up!
You know why?
You never told me.
- What? - That you love me.
- You know that. - I don?t!
Say it now, aloud.
- That?s too many people.
- Say it.
I love you. - Louder.
- I love you.
- Louder.
- I love you.
- Louder.
I love you. - Louder!
I love you!
APPLAUSE
Shall we get married? -
What can i answer? -Yes.
Why are you smiling?
You have never had sex before.
But I?ve read many books.
MUSIC
SQUEAKING
Is it always like that?
- Yes, since 3 days and 3 nights.
No breakfast, lunch or dinner?
- Nothing!
- Maybe they need something.
- Let?s see.
Careful.
I?d suggest to call a doctor.
WAIT!
- What?s up?
Are you ok? - I?m very fine.
Lisa, how are you?
I am fine.
I feel wonderful!
She?s fine!
- Where were we?
- I can?t remember.
Let?s begin again then.
Good morning.
-I am a reporter from ?The Farmer?s
Magazine?. - Good.
Why don?t you write we needs funds
from the Province!
The crop is wasted!
4 months with no rain!
I am here for another reason.
I?d like to get info, gossips..
..about a famous farmer in this area
- Who is he?
Elia Codogno.
Elia! What did he do?
-Nothing.
Today it?s is 40th birthday.
What kind of person is he?
Bad mood. A bear,
despotic and bossy.
- He has no friends.
- Is he really unmanageable?
He can even fight with the barber!
After he cut his hair
he put the mirror behind his head
and he said they were too short.
When my daughters had a party
and played some music.
-He sued me for making noise.
You live 2km away from him!
He said I woke up his chickens!
Elia sued everybody in this town.
Even me. - Who are you?
I am the judge.
- Is Elia married? - Don?t mention women,
or he?ll smash your head.
He doesn?t want to see anybody.
-Does he live alone? - He has a servant...
?she?s trying to find him a wife.
On Sunday she invited a woman at home.
He dressed up like Frankenstein.
The poor girl was so scared
she ran away.
Is he coming here today?
- He already did. He?s playing tennis now.
Do still people want to play with him?
Out! Your match!
I?ll kill you!
Surrender!
I won!
- There he is!
You smoke too much. Enough!
One coffee. - How do you want it?
- Long and ristretto. - Fine.
-This is my stool. Get off!
-Excuse me, I didn?t know that.
My name is... - Stop!
I?ve already met too many people this month.
-I work for ?The Farmer?s Magazine?.
- I don?t.
-Sugar?
- Two uneven sugar cubes.
Our magazine would like to honor you
with an article on first page.
Do I need to pay? - No.
What do you want to know?
While I was waiting,
your friends told me about you.
What did they say? - They didn?t say
very nice things.
You are a famous and funny person.
But you have a very bad behavior.
What? I bad behavior?
(altogether) Yes, you do!
Really?
You say this because you are in a group,
but one by one...
- Do I have a bad behavior?
Yes. - You are a brave man.
People say he?s grumpy
because he?s not married.
Am I grumpy because not married?...
I understand!
You, ??married?? man,
you dare to say that?
The marriage ruined your life!
Women have changed you.
Nothing to say about you. I pity you.
You had a forest on your head!
You were slim!
Move away, ?Easter egg?.
-You were a champion of arm wrestling.
- Right, so what?
So, show me how strong you are,
married man!
You were 2.40mt, tall
and you could spot a bird one miles away.
And now you can?t even spot your own!
You pity me? I feel fine, and strong.
Can any of you do this at 40 years old of age?
Well done!
He?s good!
With no hands.
- Good morning, Elia.
- Good morning.
Whistling
Move on! Jump!
Higher! Come on!
Father Cirillo! - Hi. I?m training my guys.
On Monday we have a basketball final match.
Are you coming? On Monday I?ll be in Bruxelles...
..for the agreement on the red beets.
-Too bad! It?s going to be a nice match.
- I don?t care about basketball.
- By the way, no rain here.
-What can I do about it?
You can pray. - I pray every night.
Pray more.
Elia...
- Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
Don?t you think it?s time
to think about your future?
-At your age you should...
- I know...same old story!
- I am not going to get married.
-You are strong, you are a man...
..healthy, strong...
- Hands off!
- It?s time to look for a woman.
- And you? - Me what?
I believe there are moments of
passion and desire.
uncontrollable impulses, moments of torments
when the flesh is torn apart.
- Don?t you have such moments?
- Sure. - And what do you do then?
- I go into the wood hut
and cut the woods. And you?
I ring the belles.
Do you ring them often?
Bye, Cirillo. See you around.
Come on, guys! Let?s ring the bells.
I mean, let?s play basketball.
Come on! Jump!
Tonio, this is not a sowing season.
- This is wheat for the crows.
Feeding the crows means that you are a nice person.
- Which kind of wheat is it?
- It?s poisoned.
So they will all die!
- Not even one will be left!
- Why you do that?
Dry season, and the crows too!
I plant oat, and they eat it.
I plant corn, and they eat it.
And what shall I eat?
-If I don?t kill them, I?ll starve.
-Why don?t you talk to them.
What do you mean?
They are all black and ugly!
They should die all at once!
THE CROWS CAW
Shut up!
Who?s the boss here?
Are you sure?
Beyond the river
there is a wonderful field.
The owners abandoned it. Two hectares.
There?s food for the all of you down there.
Go!
Animals are not like man,
you can talk to them!
Remember that.
Hi, Elia. - Did I say hi to you?
- Damn!
-Good morning, boss.
-Hi, Michele.
-Hi, Elia!
-Take care of the bushes! - I will.
-Hi, Biagi.
-Hi, Elia.
-Hi, Elia.
-Hi, cutie. - Hi.
-Hello. - Have a nice day.
-Thanks. Bye, guys.
Today you avoided me.
PIANO SOUND
Damn! She plays music.
- Who?s she?
- Who are you talking about?
- You know who. Who?s she?
- She?s a nice woman.
She?s the niece of a friend of mine
who lives in town.
She?s good. She?s 29, a teacher?s degree,
she can cook...
Can you hear? It looks like an angel!
I don?t want foreign people in my house,
women especially. - I know.
But you could talk to her for a while.
- If you talk to her, she?ll not be a stranger anymore.
- Do you think so? ? I do.
I studied music at the conservatory.
During the final exam I played
?Notturno 18? from Chopin.
I play for myself...
..to improve my soul. Music improves
our own sensations.
I don?t need to work.
I inherited a good sum of money.
When I?ll decide to get married,
if I?ll ever find the right person...
I am not looking for a prince.
I don?t need him to be handsome.
Appearance is not everything.
Man beauty is relative, isn?t it?
What is important is that he?s kind,
well-behaved and with a nice smile.
Eh! Eh! Eh!
ELlA WHISTLES
- What happened? Where did she go?
-Who? The girl.
-She had something urgent to do.
-Tell me the truth!
- You did Frankenstein?
- Nope, I did Dracula.
-Come here! I like your dark blood!
- Leave me alone!
We must hire 20 farmers
to press the grapes.
It is going to be very expensive.
-Is that your money? - No, it?s yours.
- Why? - Because it?s not mine.
- Go on. As your accountant
and administrator...
.. I suggest you to buy a machine.
a presser that makes the job
of 3 men in half-time!
- What about the families of the unemployed farmers?
- Progress can be cruel.
Can you assure me that this machine
performs the job of 3 men in half-time?
-Hundred times hundred!
- What?s the result?
-Ten thousand.
- Why?
That?s life!
(singing)
Come on!.
(singing).
??Press hard and sing along??
??Golden grapes...??
..sweety treasure??.
??Don?t stop??
??Press hard and sing along??
(singing).
(singing)
?? You are strong and will win!??
??Grapes and happiness??.
??You?ll make it??.
??Don?t stop??.
??Each drop is a treasure??.
??Don?t stop??.
??You are the strongest,
and you?ll win??.
??If you believe in what you do...??
..you?ll see you can make it??.
??Like the fly of a seagull??
??You are strong and you will make it!??
(SING)
?? Flowers and fantasy??
??Come on!??
??Party of colors??.
??Press hard and sing along??
??green leaves, blue sky...??
singing
singing.
??You?ll make it??
-Good! - Will you buy it? - No.
I?ll buy another machine. - Which one?
An adding machine. It makes the job
of three accountants in half-time.
You won! Good, Elia!
-It?s raining!
-Is it raining? - Yes, it is.
-It?s raining!
- Is it raining? - Yes, let?s go!
Check!
I?m going to the wine cellar.
I won?t play with you anymore.
I can?t accept your excuses.
> Bell! Bell.
Can you open the door?
BELL
Can you open?
I open.
THUNDER
- May I come in?
- Why?
Because it?s raining.
Not so much.
Well? Will you let me in?
- I don?t know you.
- My name is Lisa.
- That?s not your fault.
- Don?t be silly!
I?m getting wet. - Me too.
The water falls on your hat...
..and splashes on my shirt.
- You have 5 seconds to let me in.
It?s pouring down, there are no other houses
and I?m tired. Let me in!
My car broke.
I?m looking for a place to sleep.
-I can recommend you an hotel.
-Is there an hotel? - Hotel Corona.
- Three stars.
-Where is it? - 15km away.
Can you take me by car?
- I can?t. - I can?t walk 15km
under the rain!
I can give you my bike.
- Please, let me sleep here!
-As you prefer, but here is stiff.
- Where? - Here.
Are we monsters?
Can?t we let this lady in?
I would like to smash your head
and put some kindness inside!
Come in, miss.
You can sleep in the guestroom.
- Is there a guestroom?
-Yes, we just never use it. Follow me.
Thanks. Very kind of you!
- I need my suitcase to get a change.
- Where is it? - In the car, outside.
-The suitcase is outside.
- I heard that. You go and get it.
-Me? It?s raining! You go.
- I am not going. - What?
Who is going?
Are you going?
- She can go, she?s already wet!
- You are crazy! I go.
- Give me the umbrella, I?ll get it.
- You can sit by the fireplace...
..or you?ll get sick.
I knew I would be the one to go!
Tell me something.
I?m talking to you. Are you listening?
Aren?t you listening?
- Why should I listen to you?
You came imperiously into my house,
you splashed my shirt.
My dog checked.
I can?t listen to you.
You can say whatever you want, I can?t listen.
- Are you always so rude to women?
Am I rude?
- You get angry, you don?t look at me!
Just move a little bit.
Move away from the fire.
- Why? - You are burning.
- Me? - Your dress is burning.
I can?t stand smoke.
This is the guestroom.
That?s nice!
- I hoped someday somebody...
..would use it.
I?ll prepare the bed for you.
I?ll put two blankets.
Night is cold here.
This is the bathroom.
Thanks. I don?t know how to do without you.
- Please, excuse him.
He?s a wild bear. But he?s a nice man.
-Nice?
- This is the wardrobe.
-Can I make a call?
-Sure, I?ll connect you. - Thanks.
- Done. I bet you are hungry.
Dinner is in half hour.
Is dinner ready?
Yes. We have a guest.
Are you going to eat dressed like that?
You should at least wear a tie.
TELEPHONE RINGING
Hallo? - Hi, Renata.
- Lisa! What happened?
You left Portofino at 4!
Vittorio is worried. Where are you?
The car is broken and it?s raining.
I am lodging in a farmhouse.
I?ll call Vittorio. Vittorio!
-It? Lisa.
- Thanks.
- Lisa! Where are you?
- I am in Rovignano.
-It?s near Voghera.
-I can come to pick you up.
No problem, I?ll sleep here.
See you tomorrow.
It?s only half hour by car. No,
don?t worry. I?ll call you tomorrow.
-Are you sure? - Yes, I am. Kiss.
- What do you say? - Kiss, goodbye.
-Ok, I?ll talk to her.
- Renata wants to speak to you.
- Well? - Well?
- There?s something strange with you.
Are you spending the night in a farmhouse?
Is he a nice man? -Who?-
The owner. Is he nice?
- He?s weird, mysterious.
-He?s charming!
- That looks serious...
- I like him
-Just tell me how he looks like.
- I can?t. I?m having dinner with him soon.
I need to look nice. Bye.
- Mamie!
See? I?m wearing a tie.
I know I should also wear a coat...
- Is dinner ready?
- Yes, it is.
- We must WAIT for our guest.
- But we said half hour!
It?s more than 31 minutes. I am eating.
What a nice butterfly!
It?s an ??euchelia nupta??.
It?s a very rare nocturnal species.
There are 20 left all over Europe.
- Do you like it?
- It?s cute.
- Look, Mamie. Do you like it?
- It?s disgusting!
- Is it really disgusting?
- Yes, it is.
Collectors would pay a lot of money to have it.
- Do you like animals?
- A lot.
- And people?
Not so much, especially if they are strangers.
Then we could try to become
less strangers to each other.
I don?t know your name.
- What?s your name?
- Lisa. And yours?
Elia.
- Nice name.
It?s the name of a prophet
and you look mysterious too.
- Can you tell the future? - I do.
- And what can you tell?
That your soup will get cold
if you keep talking.
I am thirsty.
THUNDER
Thanks.
- You know something, Elia?
?Elia??
Yes. I was thinking
you have a nice house.
It?s comfortable, warm, silent.
I live in the centre of Milan.
There?s a lot of traffic.
I can?t even sleep at night.
I went to Portofino to relax.
But I met the same old people...
..like in Milano.
In Portofino I own a house on the beach.
You are invited.
- What about next summer?
- I must work in the fields.
- What about next December, on the snow?
- I must work to bottle the wine.
- Don?t you never go on holiday?
- I don?t need to.
Holiday is when you do something you don?t like.
I like my job.
But you have time to red...
Interesting bookshelf!
I read before going to sleep.
I like spy stories. And you?
I have no preferences.
- What happened?
- The electric power is off.
- Hold my hand. I am scared.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Elia.
Happy birthday to you!
- Is it your birthday? - Yes, it is.
- Happy birthday!.
What shall I do? - Blow the candles.
And a very big blow.
Shit! Too big!
- one, two, three, four...
- They?re forty. - Are you 40?
- You look younger. - I know.
- I am 25.
- I wouldn?t say that. - Thanks.
- You look 26.
Stupid!
Miss, he?s not a nice person!
- You are so rude!
- I was kidding.
Can you believe I was kidding?
A little gift.
- Is it for me?
- Sure.
I bought it in Portofino
- What is it? - Don?t ask, just open it!
CARILLON MUSIC
Where shall I put it?
I can put it here.
No, better here.
Or here.
Here it looks fine.
It?s not raining anymore!
- Well?
- You can go to the hotel.
- Do you want me to walk 15km? - I do.
You?re crazy! - Walking after dinner
helps to digest and to sleep.
- It?s far away!
- I can give you my bike.
- I never gave it to anybody.
Later I can have it back.
Or you can keep it, if you want.
I can buy another one.
Fine, I got it.
Thanks to this farmer gentleman.
Thanks for the dinner...
.. for the cake I didn?t eat,
and for the friendship I didn?t get!
Stupid and rude!
Scoundrel!
What?s the name of the hotel?
- Hotel Corona.
- I can?t even find the yellow pages!
Here they are.
Walking or biking!
They?ll pick me up.
- You can go biking!
The sooner I leave this place, the better!
- I can?t stay one minute more!
Who does he thinks he is?
Your suitcase is ready.
- Hotel Corona...
- Here?s the number, 72010.
- Is this yours?
- Yes, it is.
TELEPHONE RINGING
Hallo? Speaking to Hotel Corona?
- No, this is a gas station.
- Can I book a room? - This is a
gas station. Need gas?
- A single with bathroom.
- Need water for the battery?
- Not even a double?
- Need gas?
I understand, you?re full.
It doesn?t matter. Thanks
I?ll report to the Tourism Department!
Fuck!
What can I do now? Is there another hotel
on top of the mountain somewhere?
Or can I have the honor
to sleep in the stable?
Fine, you can stay.
But only for tonight.
- If you were not 40 I would spank you.
- Why?
You go to bed early, I don?t.
Where can I go?
It?s only 10 pm.
- That?s true, it?s early.
SHUT UP! Play something.
Is there a theatre? - Yes, there is.
-Fine!- It is open only on thursday.
- Is there a place to listen at some music?
- It?s closed.
If you want some music,
Mamie plays much better than Casadei.
- Isn?t that true, Mamie?
- That?s true.
- There?s nothing to do here!
- You can look at Ganimede. - A friend of yours?
It?s the third satellite of Jupiter.
- How funny...!
It is situated between Europe and Callisto.
It was discovered by Galileo.
Let?s go on the roof.
Maybe we will see it.
-Ganimede is very shiny.
I am not interested in astronomy.
- Let?s watch some TV.
- I don?t have a TV. - Yes, you do.
There?s a TV upstairs.
- I can have a look, but I know there isn?t.
- There it is! - This one?
I?ve always used it as a stool.
I use to sit here and count.
- Let?s go!
I think Ganimede was a better idea.
MUSIC FROM TV
I like comedies a lot.
Aren?t they funny?
No, they aren?t.
Look what?s happening!
Did you see how he fall?
Look! Isn?t that funny?
- I?m sorry for him.
- Somebody falling is comic!
He?s hurt!
How can you cry,
This is the basis of humor!
It?s mathematic. The banana peel
and a well dressed man.
The man slips on the banana peel,
falls and that should makes you laugh.
You don?t laugh.
- No. - You don?t like comedies,
you don?t like to laugh.
You don?t like anything!
- No.
- Bye.
Bye.
FALLING NOISE
Ouch!
Ouch!
-Are you hurt?
- Yes, a lot!
Are you laughing?
You said when somebody gets hurt,
people should laugh.
Are you really hurt?
She?s hurt!
I will help you. Carefully.
Put your hand here.
That?s it.
We?ve arrived.
- What are you doing?
- I like your ears.
Time to sleep.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
BANGS
Elia, did you repair Miss Lisa?s car?
One moment!
DOG WHINING
What?
ENGINE NOISE
DOOR KNOCKING
- What time is it?
- It?s very late. It?s 7am.
- The sun is shining and the car is fixed.
- Good morning, Elia.
Good morning. Or better, goodbye.
I am going to work.
-See you when I?ll go to Milan.
- When? - In a couple of years.
- Ouch!
- What?s up?
My foot hurts.
It?s because I fell yesterday.
I think it?s swollen.
-Ouch!
- Does it hurt here? - Yes, it does.
- And here?
- Ouch!
Here too?
- Yes. - Get off.
I?ll try to walk.
Ouch!
I can?t walk.
What a terrible pain!
I?m sorry to create trouble,
but I can?t leave.
I?ll call the veterinary.
- Don?t! I know myself.
I?ve already sprained once.
Two days at rest and it will go away.
- Why don?t you stay with me for a while?
- I?m busy.
- Where?re you going? - At Ernesto?s place.
- He has pneumonia!
- Did I ask you how is he doing?
- No, you didn?t.
The door!
The shoes!
The window!
- Are you making a call? - I am.
- Without asking fro permission? - Nope.
Fine.
TELEPHONE RINGING
TELEPHONE RINGING
Hallo. Hallo! Who?s speaking?
The window!
The shoes! The door!
Did you read what they think about you?
That person is not you!
ENGINE NOISE
What are you doing? Are you crazy? Stop!
Stop! Where are we going?
Put me down!
You are crazy!
Stop!
Stop!
Take this!
ldiot! Stupid!
Stop!
Put me down!
Damn! I hate you!
Stop!
DIALOGUE
Bastard! Stupid!
Selfish!
Who do you think you are?
If you want to go to Hotel Corona,
you should know it?s close for restoration!
That?s a real woman!
And she smells nice!
- What do you want? > She?s cute.
Barbarian!
Impertinent!
Brute!
Monster!
Son of a bitch!
Stupid!
Silly!
Mentally handicapped!
Stronzo! - Are you talking to me?
- What do you want? Gas!
I am such a stupid!
I?ll give him a lesson!
And the gas?
Last night they though I was a porter.
Today she insults me and runs away.
Not a good day. Closed.
Do you want to tell me a vulgar joke?
PIG GRUNTS
You are such a pork.
Something wrong?
You hit me!
That was the bucket.
You are so stupid, so coarse, so rogue!
And what else?
-You are so arrogant.
- I got it, you are in love with me.
- Who, me?
Are you or not? Which is your affirmative answer?
- Well... Yes, I am.
- Just a small detail.
- Which one? - I am not in love with you.
- It?s the bucket?s fault!
That?s incredible!
What? - How many times I told to a man...
.. what you just told me.
- Well?
I was not in love and I?ve said it many times.
I would never believe it could happen to me.
- Don?t get angry.
- I am not angry, I am smiling.
When the bird in the cages smiles,
then he?s angry.
Birds don?t smile, they sing.
- It depends...
If you tell him a nice story...
Once there was a bird...
- Goodbye.
Goodbye?
- I am leaving.
- What do you think?
What do YOU think!
It would have been a mistake,
a wrong choice.
How do you know?
A woman like you, living between
Milan, Portofino, CORTONA.
-Cortina!
- Right...
A woman like you can?t fall in love
with a farmer.
You could not resist one week
with the chickens and the pigs.
Stop guessing what I might think!
I would like it a lot, on the contrary.
It?s a hard life. You must always work.
No parties.
Let me try. - No kidding!
- Let me stay and pay you back.
Yes or not?
Which is your affirmative answer?
- You are more stubborn than a mule.
- Finally you give me a compliment!
Well? - You are hired until Monday.
- Why Monday?
- Because on Monday I am going to Bruxelles.
- But today is Saturday!
- But it?s still almost noon.
- Fine.
MUSIC
MAMIE SINGS
- Mamie!
I made it!
-What did you do?
- Elia told me I can stay.
That?s a miracle!
- Lisa, Where are you? - In Rovignano.
- Still there?
- I found a job.
- You? - I am a farmer.
- Are you feeling well?
- Yes, I am.
It?s so nice here with the trees,
the pigs and the chickens.
You never cared about countryside!
Tell me, is there any problem?
I can leave my work for one day and be with you.
- No, everything is ok.
- I just want to stay alone and think.
- Bullshit! - What?
When you finish to think you just give me a call!
Flowers, fantasy.
Today is a happy day.
Colors all over!
Keep on working and smile with us!
The air is light...
..when spring arrives.
Don?t stop!
You are strong and you can make it.
If you believe in what you do...
..you?ll make it!
You are like a seagull.
You are strong and will make it.
You?ll make it!
How magic!
Blooming fields around you.
How poetic!
Keep on working and smile with us!
The sky is bright.
Everything looks nice.
Don?t stop.
You are strong and you?ll make it.
Hi.
- Hi, Elia.
- Jump! Hi!
Hi!
- Anybody missing?
- Only one.
- Wait.
- Ouch!
Ouch!
Ouch!
Go!
Look in which conditions is she!
Slaver!
How did it go today in the farmhouse?
Shall we go party tonight?
Shall we go dancing?
There?s a new disco 35km from here.
We could take the bike.
I am exhausted!
You were right, I am no good at farm works.
I can just give trouble.
I am no good at all.
- Don?t exaggerate.
You are just a bit depressed.
Dry off.
You need something to cheer up.
- Some grappa. Mamie made it. -
-No!
- Spirits weigh me down.
- Fine, no spirit!
- What would you like?
- There?s only one think to cheer me up.
I would like some pot.
Some pot, to smoke.
- I don?t have any.
- Don?t look at me like that!
I know you?re a healthy farmer.
But I like it and it?s good.
But here it?s difficult to find it, isn?t it?
Not for me.
How nice of you! Thanks.
Do you want to smoke?
- Nope.
Can?t tell what you are missing!
I?m already feeling better.
I feel like singing, shouting, dancing.
I want to go out.
I want to have fun. Don?t be a mummy!
Let?s go!
I can?t go out, I need to change.
Let?s see... Shall I wear this one?
No, you are right.
No.
This one? No, that?s too simple.
Here it is!
I can wear this one.
What do you think? Do you like it?
You know what, my dear mummy?
I love tomatoes, I love cows,
and I love a lot the farm life.
It?s fantastic!
I can learn, it?s easy.
You are not depressed anymore.
No, I am fine!
I am happy and satisfied.
And you even look a nice man!
I didn?t know that endive would have
this effects on you. - Endive?
Am I smoking endive?
Sure, I can?t give you marijuana.
- You are a monster!
Cheater! Swindler!
That was a pair of Chinese vases from
Tang dinasty, very valuable...
..and rare.
What shall I do with this one?
- Don?t!
- I don?t need it anymore. - Don?t!
- It?s useless now.
- Don?t!
- May I ?
- Yes!
NOISE
I am happy. They?re finally getting along!
- Nothing left to brake?
- No, that was all.
- Let?s go dancing, then.
- Dancing? - You suggested it before.
- Are you tired? - You are tired.
- I am awake. - I am more awake than you are.
I am more awake than you are.
TANGO
TANGO
ELlA SNORES
Were you sleeping?
- No. You were sleeping.
How do you know? You were sleeping.
-You were. - No, you were!
Let?s go to sleep. - It?s early!
Tomorrow is Sunday.
- Wake up at 5 am to go hunting.
Let?s go to bed. - Ok.
TANGO
They?re turtledoves.
No, they?re ducks.
- But...
Shh! They?re coming.
RUSTLE
Here they are!
He shot me!
Me too!
That?s Elia! Run away!
- They go t what they deserve.
- Good!
-Do you hate hunting too?
Yes, but I couldn?t find the words to tell you.
Let?s get free the hares.
- And put the traps inside
the hunters? houses. - Elia!
Giovannella is giving birth!
It?s premature. - Did you call the doctor?
- It?s Sunday
Everybody went to the lake.
I can?t do it alone.
I need help.
- I?ll help you.
It?s a FEMALE!
Weigh? - 15 kilos.
- I hoped more.
We?ll call her Lisa, is it ok?
Is it ok?
It?s ok.
- It was better to take the bike.
- Today I treat.
I?ll take you in a wonderful place.
You will like it a lot.
First I need gas.
You again!
30,000.
- Are you sure? - I am.
No comments about my dress...
- What should I say?
I am wearing it just for you.
Do you like it?
- You had it on also yesterday
- No I hadn?t.
Yesterday I was wearing something else.
This is from Valentino. - Isn?t it yours?
Just tell me...
- Are you trying to be funny?
- This is my way, funny.
You piss me off!
To you it doesn?t matter
what I wear.
- I could even go out naked!
- You could.
I understand.
Tonight I?ll wear this.
Is it fine?
- No, it isn?t.
You?re ashamed! - No, I?m cold.
What the hell are you looking at?
Did you put gas? - I did.
I?ve also cleaned the windows.
Everything is alright.
Fuck! 340.OOO liras.
I?m leaving.
Good morning, Miss Silvestri.
There?s a table for you.
It?s the best. With view on the lake.
Fish or meat?
- Fish. They?ve the best fish.
This is the wine list.
I suggest a white Bourgogne, class'74.
- No. - Why not?
In 1974 in Bourgogne the vines
were damaged by hail.
What kind of fish do you have?
Carp.
With the carp we should drink
a Mosella white from '76...
..grown on the Rive Gauche,
left side.
Then I suggest a Mosella white from '76.
- Why? - Because in the '14 the vines
in Bourgogne were damaged by hail.
How old are you? - I don?t know.
- I thought less. - Thanks.
You shocked them! Do you like it?
I?d prefer a darker place.
- You?re so romantic!
I like dark too.
It makes everything uncertain.
We can imagine our neighbor?s face.
Smiling, interesting, loveable.
I?d like a darker place to take off my tie.
- Why do you have to spoil everything?
- Me? -Yes, you do.
- Maybe you don?t do it on purpose!
It?s a defence behaviour.
Why don?t you relax sometimes?
Why are you holding my hand?
- Because of my affection for you. Can I?
Yes. But hold it back when we are eating.
- This place is so cute.
- Lisa!
Excuse me.
I haven?t heard of you for a while!
He?s the farmer! Nice guy.
Can I sit here for a while?
- Well... - Thanks.
My name is Renata.
Vittorio is going crazy.
He says that you found a job in a farm.
- That?s true.
Is he your employer?
- Yes, he is.
- Now I understand everything!
Not easy to find such an employer.
Wide shoulders, tanned...
..dark eyes, energetic chin...
- Go on, please. - And funny.
Is there a job for me too in your farm?
- I?ve many skills for you to exploit.
- Don?t be silly.
- What a jealous woman you are.
- Maybe she?s in love.
It must be serious.
It?s very serious to me.
- Very serious!
- You shouldn?t admit it.
Men get bored when women get serious.
They like to have fun without problems.
But you can?t get it!
You like big emotions.
You are looking for the eternal love.
But adventures are better...
- I am hungry.
I?ll grab a snack. Keep on talking.
You bitch!
- Hi, Lisa!
- Hi!
What are you doing?
- What?s going on?
- Ouch!
No!
> Let me go!
Ouch!
- Ouch!
That?s enough!
She?s teasing my man.
- No, he?s teasing me.
Are you teasing my girlfriend?
No. But if you want, I can tease you.
- Ouch!
- Come on, let?s see.
- Wait, I can do that.
This farmer deserves a lesson.
ELlA AND LlSA ARE LAUGHING
That was funny!
Thanks for helping me.
I punched only two of them.
- No, they were three.
And you put his head into the soup...
..and the food tray on his legs
Where are we?
Why are you stopping?
- I?ve been after you for 2 days...
..I take you out to dinner,
I fight with my friend.
Isn?t that obvious
that I want to stay alone with you?
RADIO MUSIC
I?ll tell you a secret.
I like you. I feel good with you.
That was evident.
I?m choking...
Excuse me.
- Did you like it?
- That?s good!
Strawberry flavour.
- How do you know I like strawberries?
Who do you think you are?
You are disgusting!
You?re boastful!
I hate you!
Do you like to walk?
You go back walking!
Where?s the key?
ELlA WHISTLE
Give me my keys!
- Take it. - I will.
Give it to me!
- Did you find it?
- I didn?t. Help me.
I am not crazy. These waters
are full of the ?hirudo medicinalis?.
- What are they?
-They are a kind of leeches.
They stick to your skin.
- That didn?t stop either.
- That?s because you are with me!
Shall I go further?
Go!
Go!
-Elia, need a ride? .
-Thanks.
Stop!
Wait me!
- That?s incredible!
-What?
- I had so much fun.
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
Elia!
Yes?
-I don?t have much time left to seduce you.
-That?s true!
- Tomorrow you?ll go to Bruxelles.
- Yes, but I am leaving in the afternoon.
You have 18 hours left.
Well, goodnight.
Goodnight.
-Lisa!
-Yes?
-Vittorio is a nice name.
Why don?t you marry him?
Go to the hell!
I like ?Vittorio?.
Go to the hell!
Baldin, stay inside!
He?s much better, now.
He is.
- Next Sunday we?ll play a good match.
Mr Mancarani on the phone.
Excuse me.
Come on!
- Lisa, can you still remember me?
Yes, I miss you so much.
Would you come and pick me up.
I?ll do that.
Don?t you ask me what have I been doing?
- No.
- Aren?t you interested?
- I am not, dear.
- stay where you are, then!
Hallo!
I thought I say a woman in my bed.
What are you doing here?
I want to spend my last night with you.
-What do you mean?
You know what I mean.
- Wait a moment.
-What?
- We don?t know each other very well.
-It doesn?t matter.
That?s important!
You don?t know anything about me.
I know what I need to know.
- We need to talk more.
-You can talk, if you want.
I was born in a cold winter night...
..it was august the 4th at 19,20
in this room.
Downstairs my mum was walking to and fro...
..smoking a cigar.
My mum was a tall blond man,
like my grandma.
But my grandpa had dark hair.
My grandpa...
- Just relax.
Don?t be shy.
No!
You don?t like me.
- I can?t have sex with a woman...
..if I don?t love her.
How many times did you fall in love?- Never.
Goodbye.
Hallo? Still you!
Lisa, I do care for you.
- What have you been up to?
-What do you care?
You pick me up!
Fine, I am coming.
-Good evening.
Horn
Music
music
music
music
music stops
Get my suitcase ready.
A suit, shirts, jumpers...
..Bruxelles is a cold place.
- You make it, I quit.
Why?
- You heart is as hard as a stone.
You met a nice woman..
..and you kicked her out!
This is why you quit?
- Yes.
I don?t want to live anymore
with such a sulky sour person.
.
I like happy people.
Smiling, love, children!
Old bachelor!
Go away!
Women are useless!
Who said women are useful?
That?s better.
Just the two of us.
Right?
Can we be happy?
I don?t need an answer! Go away!
?Lesbian?!
I feel fine, very fine.
I am very fine.
Flight to Bruxelles. Gate 4z.?
?Flight z74 to Bruxelles.
Boarding now.?
Let me pass.
Come on, Cant?!
VOICES
Cirillo, shouldn?t you leave?
- I prefer basketball.
- Since when?
Since today!
VOICES
- How is it going?
What do you think...?
- I am asking you.
- I know.
We are losing 86 to O.
- We are doing bad. Very bad.
What are the rules?
You must put the ball in their basket.
That?s it?
VOICES
SHOUTINGS
VOICES
VOICES
-How is it going?
Very well! t Elia!
SHOUTINGS
Elia!
Alt!
(Audience) Elia!
(audience)
Bravo! Bravo!
VOICES
Is Sunday ok?
- About what? - We get married.
- Lisa, do you know him?
Shut up!
Well?
No.
- I didn?t understand.
- I said no. - Why?
-She answered.
-Shut up!
You know why?
You never told me.
- What? - That you love me.
- You know that. - I don?t!
Say it now, aloud.
- That?s too many people.
- Say it.
I love you. - Louder.
- I love you.
- Louder.
- I love you.
- Louder.
I love you. - Louder!
I love you!
APPLAUSE
Shall we get married? -
What can i answer? -Yes.
Why are you smiling?
You have never had sex before.
But I?ve read many books.
MUSIC
SQUEAKING
Is it always like that?
- Yes, since 3 days and 3 nights.
No breakfast, lunch or dinner?
- Nothing!
- Maybe they need something.
- Let?s see.
Careful.
I?d suggest to call a doctor.
WAIT!
- What?s up?
Are you ok? - I?m very fine.
Lisa, how are you?
I am fine.
I feel wonderful!
She?s fine!
- Where were we?
- I can?t remember.
Let?s begin again then.