The Swissmakers (1978) - full transcript

Foreigners who apply to become Swiss citizens have no easy task - especially when the police lets Bodmer loose to check upon their background, their integration in the society, and the possible danger they represent to the orderliness and cleanliness of the country. Bodmer gets a new assistant to help him corner unsuitable applicants. Very soon, a couple of conformist German physicians, a pretty Eastern European dancer, and the inevitable (and politically troublesome) Italian immigrant and his family start shooting themselves in the foot in their attempts to get the red passport with a white cross.

Persons and incidents are fictitious,

but similarities with real life
cannot be ruled out.

Now, to sum up:

Our country extends
a welcome to everyone,

whether they come as tourists
or to work a while in our country.

At all events we should
always accept foreigners.

But it's a different kettle of
fish when they stay.

When they apply for naturalization.

Then the newcomers
have to toe the line.

They have to assimilate.

Let me quote a former Chief of
Alien Police who writes:

"We believe that assimilation
has been achieved

when a foreigner resident here
is indistinguishable

from the rest of us."

Tell me some characteristics

which a foreigner should possess

in order to become
a citizen of our country.

Some traits.



Solid as a glacier.

Modest, stone sober.

That'll be a CH.

- Upright.
- Reliable.


- Earnest.
- Earnest and zealous.

Anything else?


We set great store
by a regular income

but "rich" is too limiting.


Willingness is a good thing.
It's essential.

But there are two more
important concepts.

Warlike and realistic.

A foreigner must
demonstrate these qualities

before rightfully claiming:
I am Swiss.

Now you can see for
yourselves on the job.

During probation you show your
superior what you're capable of.

Then we will determine
whether or not you'll be kept on.

Fritz Moser, you'll be
Karl Maurer's assistant.

Moritz Fischer is assigned
to Max Bodmer.

Werner Heim,
you go with Otto Knill.

And Joseph Andermatt
is with Franz Huber.

Gentlemen, good luck on the job.


Can you lend me a hand, Gertrud?

Hold the flag.

Take this down, Fischer:

10:15 a.m.


Let the boss know
we sacrifice our Sundays.

Never forget this:

No foreigner has a right
to naturalization.

Don't you ever forget.
It makes things easier.

Next turning on
the right. Feldstrasse.

- But why Feldstrasse?
- Grimolli's place.

But we aren't expected till 8 o'clock.

Arriving sooner won't do any harm.

Don't do that again.

Be careful, Fischer!

Mamma mia! Hope it's not
the police already.

You go get the door.

Good evening. Cantonal Police.
We're a bit early.

Doesn't matter. Come on in.

We're eating.
You can take potluck.

We'll wait till you've finished.

Let me take your coats.

Step into the living room.

Please, take a seat.

Fast. They're waiting.

I'm still hungry!

Hey! Let me finish my supper!

You forgot to hide
the postcard from Italy.

Bet they eat pasta every day.

- Do I write that down?
- Pure supposition.

We only report what we can prove.

Seems clean.

Make a note:

The Grimolli home appears to be
reasonably clean and tidy.

A bit unusual for Italians.

I don't write that, do I?

Course not.

Are they all applying?

He is. She's from Locarno.

Allow me to introduce my husband.

Please, do sit down.

Apulia. I was there three times.

In the vicinity of Gallipoli.
By car the whole way.

My brother lives in Lecce.
He's a car mechanic.

What's behind the church in Lecce?

- Pizzeria...
- Sandro.

Pizzeria Sandro.
A friend of mine.

He makes good pizza,
"Pizza Apulia".

She always orders two when we're
there. Pizza Apulia, of course.

But he always eats the second one.

- When were you last there?
- Last year in September.

Nice time of the year.
Cooler and fewer tourists.

Mr. Grimolli,
I have a question to ask you.

Sort of a routine question.

What makes you want
to become Swiss?

In Italy it's a big problem.

And a man like me
with a growing family

needs more security.

And my wife wants to
stay in Switzerland.

And something else.

I myself have still another reason.

I've been in Switzerland
for 12 years now,

and I've gone into its whole history.

With a national hero like that,

you have to be proud of your country.

He liberated the country
from the tyrant Gessler.

He showed us how to resist.

He killed for freedom's sake.

If you don't honour Tell,

you can't lay claim to being
Swiss or become a Swiss.


Don't often get that.

- In that case, we needn't detain you.
- You aren't.

Have a glass of wine.

No, thanks. We'll get in touch.

Next time you go to Lecce,
give my regards to Sandro.

From the loaded Swiss.
He'll tumble to it.

"Loaded Swiss" is funny.
I'll tell him.

That's a riot.

About last night.

In future we'll decide beforehand
who talks to the candidate.

But we had a frank, relaxed chat.

We don't need that.

It's a matter of judgement
who becomes Swiss.

You need precise questions
to judge answers precisely.

Not a cosy chat.

Arriving so early, like a raid...

I prefer to arrive unannounced.

The shows they put on
are embarrassing.

I think a little intuition goes a...

You'll get nowhere that way.
Facts count.

I'll have to quote Mr. Virot again:

"Therefore a foreigner has to realize

that in our country
every aspect of life

is covered by some law,
decree or prescription.

He has to obey them all,
move along in the tram,

not hang laundry out the window,

not cut a colleague's hair
without Alien Police permission,

not lounge around a station,
not forget postcodes,

not drop stubs on the ground,

not smoke where forbidden,

use pedestrian crossings,
not steal apples."

You'll get used to it
after 20 years on the job.

Go to 12 Bergstrasse at 4 o'clock.

To Mrs. Galli, second floor.

I've made a questionnaire for you.
Your first assignment.

You can tick off
some of the answers.

You made a note?

Bergstrasse 12.

You're in the money!

Very unlikely!

Funny guy!

That's more like it.

Good afternoon. My name is Fischer.

I'm with the Cantonal Police,
Bureau of Naturalization.

It's about Miss Vakulic who used
to be a neighbour of yours.

Come in if you're Mr. Fischer
from the Cantonal Police.

It's about Miss Vakulic, isn't it?
I'll be only too glad to inform you.

If someone wants to become Swiss
you have to ask them tricky questions.

They always have a reason.
They get so many advantages.

Taxes, for instance,
and security...

No one ever fell down
and lost his crown

because he had to adapt himself.

And, of course, these artistes!

Pretenders. They need scrutiny.

Take Vakulic, a dancer.
She's out of step.

How do you mean that?

For instance, all of us have
the usual white curtains

in our kitchens.

Standard curtains. It makes
a good impression.

But Miss Vakulic had no kitchen
curtains when she was here.

A gaping hole. It would have
been no trouble for her.

The same with trash bags.

In this building
we all have grey ones.

But Miss Vakulic, out of step again,

always dumped a brown one out.

A brown bag?

Always a brown one,
as if to show us what's what.

Always brown?

Mrs. Baumann happened to be there
when I spoke to her about it.

She became impertinent.

Said her bag was none of my business.

These Yugoslavs!
What else can you expect?

Too many visitors.
Foreigners. Like a hotel.

You mean relatives!

- Fellows.
- Men?

If you can call them men!

Did you see these people?

Whenever I happened to be in the hall.

You couldn't understand them.

Various foreign languages.
Even Russian, if I'm not mistaken.

- Russian, you say?
- Some peculiar Eastern lingo, anyway.

She once brought a
Japanese home.

A Jap... Sure he was.

Black hair and those eyes they have.

Thank God she's gone.

Now there's a young man in the house,
a decent bank employee.

I said to Mrs. Baumann:
We're back to normal again.


International, eh?

As long as they behave themselves...

That's her.

She lives on the top floor.

Anyway, the windows
have curtains. That's a clue.

Those bloody pigeons!

Sometimes you can't avoid it.
Shit on everything.

- Get the time?
- What time?

When the Vakulic woman
left the house.

What time was it...
about 3:30, wasn't it?

About 3:30?

That's how mistakes occur.
It was 3:33.

- Should I write she's pretty?
- That carries no weight.

When was the Gotthard tunnel opened?

In 18... 84.

- Wrong. In 1882.
- Two years... They won't be petty.

Here's a good one.

What peak is named after
a Swiss general?

- Dufour Peak.
- You're a perfect pupil.

- What, at home?
- Of course.

He could question you
here or in a caf?.

- He wants to see my flat.
- Will you show him the living room?

I'll tidy up first, of course.

Don't leave any
pictures of men around.

Have a bottle of wine ready.

I can't offer him wine in the morning.

"Aha, alcoholic... And
wants to be Swiss?"

Make him feel right at home.
Then he'll be easier on you.

- Put on an appropriate record.
- Nutcracker.

Give him a free ticket.

I'm sure he's never
been to the theatre.

- Or should I cook him a dinner?
- Good idea. R?sti and Swiss steak.

To show you're a perfect housewife.

Perfect housewife as well?

- Hello, Miss Vakulic.
- Hello there.

- My name is Bodmer.
- Please come in.

Nice place.

- Is the janitor next door?
- Yes, but please have a seat.

- Mr. Fischer.
- Thank you.

What'll it be? Beer, wine?

Thanks, but not on duty.

Mineral water?

Well, why not?

- You too?
- Please.

- Get your bank book and report cards.
- Pardon?

You have a savings account, of course.

Of course I have.

I'd like to see your savings book.

Get this, Fischer.

If the applicant has no
savings, it's all over.

- Is that your father?
- Yes.

- Is he in Switzerland?
- Yes, in Chur.

- How long?
- Since the war.

He was a POW in Germany.
Then he came to Switzerland.

- And your mother?
- She's in Chur with my father.

- Won't you have a drink?
- Not just now.

Music will disturb us, won't it?

Perhaps it will.

We have to investigate you.

It's just a routine measure.

We expect precise, specific answers.

Becoming naturalized is for life,
you know.

You weren't exactly
a mathematical genius.

Have you a school certificate,
a professional qualification?

I dance. That's my trade.
That's what I've learnt.

And in the daytime?

I practise and rehearse.

- What about the future?
- How do you mean that?

- Children.
- Children?

Work leaves no time to think of that.

I would recommend you did.

Family. Home.

People need security in their lives.
Especially a woman.

Maybe you're right about that.

So you spent three years in Lucerne.

Then you came to Z?rich,
to Bergstrasse.

- Yes, for two years.
- Did you like it there?

Very much. Why?

We don't like people always
changing their addresses.

People should know where they belong.

- Do you intend to stay in Z?rich?
- Yes, I do.

- May I?
- Certainly.

Miss Vakulic, how do you spend
all of your spare time?

You don't rehearse 24 hours.

Almost. I haven't much spare time.

But I like playing chess,
usually against myself.

And also... films.

- I love films.
- They could dance!

I saw that eight times.
Once two times running.

- Got the record?
- Naturally.

We ought to listen to it now.

We don't want to keep
Miss Vakulic any longer.

Your last illness?


When was your last
infectious illness?

That was... you don't
mean a temperature?

No, an infectious disease.
The things one catches.


Just influenza?

Nothing more dangerous?

- So Mr. Fischer, until tomorrow.
- Yes, bye.

- Max, the news, and dinner's ready.
- I'm coming.

The situation has worsened

since the dismissal
of 60 foreign watchmakers.

The Swiss Watch and Metal Workers

and other unions

have scheduled a protest rally
next Saturday in Biel.

What's next Saturday's date?

The fourth.

Rallying at our expense.

Why do you want to know?

Not so important.
It'll probably mean overtime.

You work every second Saturday.

Some demonstrate,
others work during their time off.

The union has booked a train.

We're going to the
station with the rest.

- You think we should all go?
- Sure. Aren't you coming?

First watchmakers, then weavers,
then we'll in be for it.

I know that.

You gotta understand my situation.

If a cop sees me,
it'll bugger up my naturalization.

You think they have
a 24-hour stakeout

to get evidence
on Francesco Grimolli?


- I'll think it over.
- Do that.

Run to the boss and suck up to him.

You don't give a shit
about solidarity.

Shut up. It's up to him.

He's been in Switzerland for 12 years
and he's still shitting in his pants!

You say that again!

You know him, Francesco!

He's zealous,
and we set great store by that.

Political activities?
Union? Assemblies?

Of course he's in the union.
But that's no crime.

- Otherwise clean?
- Clean as a whistle.

He always smoothes over the tension
if it flares up among foreign workers.

Between us, Grimolli's a better Swiss
than many who don't have to apply.

If you say so.

Hello, Mr. Bodmer.
Excuse me, but...

My buddies, Giorgio...

And Alfredo.

No fun working
with sweet stuff all day.

You get used to it,
and there's a strict ban on eating it.

He's good, eh?

He makes beautiful cakes.

Always cheerful.

Ah, always cheerful.

- Bright and cheery.
- Cheerfulness cuts no ice.

He's got to adapt.

Strikes me as foreign.

- From Paris.
- And Russia.

The guy over there.

The one in blue is a Turk.

We need information on him.

Her boyfriend?

You were at Mrs. Galli's, not me.

We didn't talk about that Turk.

Boyfriends aren't forbidden.

Use your head. Turkey!
Eastern Mediterranean!

- We got two drug dealers last week.
- Boyfriends?

Maybe there's no connection,
but we better look into it.

Just take your time,
and find out about that Turk.

The director's expecting me.
Bodmer, Cantonal Police.

I'll announce you.

The waiting room is down
the hall, on the left.

- Come with us, Mr. Walser.
- My name's Bodmer.

- Just one moment.
- Bodmer, Cantonal Police.

They all say that.

Just come along with us.

- It won't take long.
- Let go.

- Let go!
- Call the doctor.

- Bodmer, Cantonal Police.
- Calm down.

Bring Mr. Bodmer to my office.

We'll do that, sir.

- Mr. Walser...
- Bodmer.

- I'm your doctor.
- The director expects me.

I know. You said so three times.

I'm from the Bureau of Naturalization.

May I take you to the director?

- Do you believe me now?
- My God!

How could this happen?

- I'll accompany you.
- I'll find it myself.

Have you gone mad?

Walser 2/4...

Walser 2/4.

It's one floor up.

Gertrud, something
terrible's happened.

Dr. Starke is one of my
very best associates.

Quiet, independent, conscientious.
He's a real stickler.

- You mean, the sort we could do with.
- Right.

- Except he's likely to leave us.
- Leave?

He aims to set up his own practice.

But he needs naturalization for that.

Imagine the consequences.
Wait another 10 years.

And my practice?

Yes, I hope so too.

We could invite him for dinner.

Perhaps that's not a bad idea.

We should start on the reports.
The committee will soon set the dates.

How many this year?

The same as always.
1,000 - 1,500 naturalizations.

- What about our applicants?
- The committee has to vet them.

- Some of them are dubious cases.
- They're all in a steady job.

I mean freelancers... artistes.

The Vakulic woman's among them.


Morning, Mrs. Starke.

Yes, we get by.

Just a minute.

Still there?
Yes, that'll be fine.


Don't you put yourself out.

Regards to your husband.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Mrs. Starke.

Check for special trains to
Biel on Saturday.

- Oh, Fischer.
- Mr. Bodmer.

You meet people
when you'd least expect it.

- Nice bouquet you've got there.
- Modest when you remove the paper.

- Have a nice evening, Mr. Bodmer.
- Same to you, Fischer.

May I help you?

- I'd like some carnations.
- Certainly.

How many?


Maybe nine would do.

This is the moment of truth,
as we Swiss say.

You know, Mr. Bodmer,
that's what I admire about the Swiss.

Their humour.

The right word in the right place.

- Stir some more.
- The flame's too low.

The flame's fine. We stirred plenty.
You're overgenerous with wine.

Better too much in the bottle
than in the fondue.

There really is too much wine
in it. We need spoons.

Mrs. Binswanger told me what
to do if it gets too thin.

I'll take it back to the kitchen.

Seems a pity to use them.
It's just for decoration.

Would you get us
the white napkins, Helmut.

- Over there in the drawer.
- Of course.

Tell me, Mr. Bodmer,

when they reject an
application for naturalization,

is there no appeal possible?

No, there isn't.

- Have you ever rejected applicants?
- All the time. The committee, not us.

Their decision depends on our reports.

They weigh very heavily.

I called on a young chap
who was in a rush to become a Swiss.

He lived in one room.
His bed was a mattress on the floor.

That ruled him out.
We can do without his kind.

How you live says who you are.

No doubt about that.

If they want something out of us,
they have to put something in.

Would you say your marriage
is a happy one, Dr. Starke?

How do you mean?

Our state rests upon three pillars.

Marriage, family, democratic order.

That's true elsewhere.

With us it's organic.
It's what makes us what we are.

In that case,

I would say our marriage
is a good one.

Just what you wanted to hear.

We only ask the question
to be quite sure.

Sometimes it's just trivialities,

little things,
trivialities on the surface.

Maybe it's not really important.

Maybe I was mistaken.

And even so,
it's not actually forbidden.

I happened to be on a tram

and I had the impression
that I saw your wife.

She was entering
one of those sex shops.

First it was the cheese fiasco.

And now he says he saw
you enter a sex shop.

- A what?
- Sex shop, Gertrud. Sex shop!

- Need a definition?
- What would I do there?

- You can tell him that.
- Are you crazy?

It must have been a few days ago.

I was at the hairdresser's.
We were invited out to dinner.

I know. It's the same entrance.

The shop's on the left,
the salon straight ahead.

How embarrassing.
How can we explain it away?

- Say I was at the hairdresser's.
- He'll think it's a lie.

If you admit it,
how will we look?

I'll tell him some tale or other.

Now it's a real fondue.

By the way, Mr. Bodmer,
you weren't mistaken after all.

I was in that sex shop.

My husband couldn't make it.

And he needed some of
those glossy magazines.

That's right, you know,
she means those...

Those magazines,
those skin magazines...

- As they are called.
- The simplest methods work.

As a therapy.

We use this therapy in our clinic with

- sexually disturbed individuals.
- Pros and cons.

- We've had great success this way.
- Who do you treat? Sex offenders?

Sexually disturbed patients.

Are these crimes on the rise?

From a moral perspective,
the unbridled permissiveness

that's spreading nowadays
is rather debatable.

No more for me.
Mr. Bodmer might like another drop.

Just a tiny one.

- Very nice model.
- The carbine?

It's a present from a former patient.
To say thank you.

Where else in the world do you find
every citizen has a rifle at home?

And is allowed to.

And nothing ever happens.

I was shocked when
I first heard of it.

- I couldn't believe it.
- That's what makes you feel the...


- In a way the...
- Free spirit. Trust.

We know what we have to defend.

We are a small country
and intolerant of interference.

Always were, always will be.

I must say, Mr. Bodmer,
it's a simply indescribable feeling,

I can't express it any other way,
being accepted as a Swiss citizen.

As a Z?richer in your case.

I understand. But we're
all Swiss together.

Whether Bernese,
Appenzellers or Valaisans.

Would one of you
gentlemen like a coffee?

It's getting late.
Let's leave it at that.

I'll get your jacket.

But do stay for a coffee.

- Let's have it another time.
- If you prefer.

- Come again.
- I'd love to.

- Well, Mr. Bodmer, safe journey home.
- Thank you.

It went off pretty well.

He didn't exactly dislike us.

I'll send him some of our Burgundy.

Isn't that a bit too much?
I slipped 200 francs in his pocket.


- Were you at the performance?
- Don't I look the part?

- Why not, after all?
- That's it. Why not?

Am I under night surveillance?

I just wanted to compliment
your performance.

I liked it very much.

I'm so glad to hear that.

- Any questions I have to answer?
- I'm never short of them.

But I don't know.
It's probably too late.

- The others are waiting.
- That's true.

See you.

- Will Mr. Bodmer come next time?
- We'll cross that bridge later.

See you.

Time you were off, Max.

I'll be at the station in 15 minutes.

- Did you put 200 francs in my coat?
- 200 francs? I know nothing about it.

- I found 200 francs, just like that.
- You must have put it there.

That's how you lose money.

- Time you had a new wallet.
- You can give me one for Christmas.

That's a long way off.

Why always talk about Mechmed?
Tell me about yourself.

Heel! He's a bit nervous
having to sit under the table so long.

That's a good boy.

- What sort of dog is he?
- A new kind of police dog. Invisible.

With or without dog.

You've questioned me. Now
I'd like to know about you.

What can I tell you?

I'm nothing yet, professionally.
Not married.

Can't do a thing,
not even smoke.

I'm a good driver.

I can't sing.

But I sleep very well,
sleep and dream.

Bad swimmer
but a good Fisher.

- That enough?
- No.

No? We'd better order something.
To fuel your reputation.


G as in Gottfried.

Grimolli, yes.

Confectioner's. Yes, I know.

Thanks for the information.

Get onto Grimolli's eldest
boy after school.

"Get onto him"? How?

Pump him about his father.
What books he reads.

Sometimes kids know an awful lot.

Ask how school is going.

Grimolli's case is suspect.
Political attitude, and so on.

- Get anything on the Turk?
- Negative.

- Who did you contact?
- Dancers in the troupe.

I'm not convinced.

Even if this Turk named Mechmed
did deal in narcotics...

- Mechmed who?
- I only know his first name.

Ratlas! That's the Turk's name.
Must I do everything myself?

Is it so crucial for Miss Vakulic if
this Ratlas is in the dope business?

I make the decisions.

Now that's enough.
Beat it!


Would you read, please, Mrs. Starke.

Oh, these horrible onions.

They cause a burning
sensation in your eyes.

Fine, but those "ch" sounds
aren't perfect yet.

You have to make them right far back.

Way back in your throat.

Now all together.

Once more.

Don't get too near.

Look how she drives!
Never uses a rear-view mirror.

I read recently that German women
aren't bad drivers at all.

She won't be German much longer.

Don't assume too much.
We still have our word to say.

Late guests.

Nothing wrong with that
in your own house.

In private...

there's a lot of action.

Dr. Starke was at foreign
transactions, savings,

securities and current accounts.

- Cash, and so on?
- I saw him cash two cheques.

Then he took the lift
to the second floor.

Very good.

- Gold in the bank, gold in the street.
- It all adds up.

Quit for today.

- You've done enough overtime.
- Off early. I could use that.

- But make proper use of it.
- Don't worry. I will.

Someone left these flowers for you.

A glass of wine.
Cordially, M. Fischer.

The cop.

- Who pumped you about Mechmed?
- That's him.

Oh, red roses.

You can't refuse now.

It all seems so spooky to me.


I mean you and me, of course.

But why spooky?

- Like in a movie.
- A thriller.

What I dream every night
is like a horror film.

Policeman seduces dancer.

The character reference will read:

"She's an easy pickup,
has a loose character."

Don't be too pessimistic.

It could happen.

I'm getting jumpy.

Although I was born and bred here.
The only home I know.

I'll soon believe I am a foreigner.

I don't know where I belong any more.

- After all I'm...
- Swiss!

- Yeah, without that stamp.
- That's why we're here.

- And I mistrust you.
- Still?

- Do I have to prove the contrary?
- Do you think you could?

- By dancing, for instance.
- That wouldn't prove a thing.

- You dance well for a Swiss.
- Why? Are they usually clumsy?

I have to be careful what I say.

Just say anything.
You can tell me the truth.

- The truth?
- Or you can make up a story.

Your boss might have arranged
our being together.

Now it's your turn to tell the truth,
or to make up a story.

To be quite honest...

the whole thing is a put-up job.

There are cops all around.

Even the musicians.

- You're a good dodger.
- A good dancer has to be.

- Sorry.
- That's all right.

What outlandish names they have!

They ought to change their names
before getting naturalized.

Bodmer, Cantonal Police.

Good morning, Mrs...

A long name.
May I speak to your husband?

It's about his application
for naturalization.

Oh, you're his sister.
But he's married, isn't he?

If you don't mind.

She'd sooner jabber Greek to me.

He'll be back next week?

With his wife?

Fine, I'll call again.

Good bye,
Mrs. Kostratre... Kostra... Treo...

A real tongue-twister.

The Grimolli questionnaire.

Should get cracking
on that character reference.

- Get hold of the boy?
- Yes.

Fumetti. What's all this?

They're those Italian picture stories.

Dialogue balloons come out.

I know that.
But why write "Fumetti"?

I wrote, "favourite reading".

- His father's.
- Right, Fumetti.

- Did the boy say so?
- Sure.

And you believe him?

- Papa, I want to see the swans.
- Stay put!

- No funny business.
- What's wrong?

I'm sure we're being watched
here. Just like at work.

We're only doing what people
around us are doing.

We aren't doing anything forbidden.

However, it's "how" that counts.

How do you change people
who think they're right?

Good question. I can't think
of a clever answer.

It's time to teach Bodmer a lesson.

The man needs a real shaking.

- Shake Bodmer!
- Yeah!

You've got guts.

It doesn't take guts,
just imagination.

You mean, play a trick on him?

Oh, here comes the Grimolli family.

- Who? They don't know me.
- Not you, but me.

Does your job prohibit
your being seen with a woman?

Just think.
If Grimolli sees me,

he'll think he's being watched
on his Sunday stroll.

- Are you always so considerate?
- It all depends.

Come in.

You're in luck. I just got
back from rehearsals.

I was just passing.
Spontaneous visits can be...

- Revealing?
- As you wish.

Can I leave you a moment?
To rinse my leotard.

Go ahead.

I'll just be a jiffy.

Take your time.

- How about a drink, Mr. Bodmer?
- No, thanks.

Dried apricots?

- No, thanks.
- They're good for stiff muscles.

- Stiff muscles.
- Trade secrets, you know.

Miss Vakulic, you have quite
a few acquaintances.

Any Swiss among them?

I grew up in Toggenburg.

And the vast majority of
my friends were Swiss.

They were Swiss!
And what about nowadays?

Our profession has no frontiers.
No language barriers, either.

Right now at the
Opera House we have...

It's hard to name them all.

Germans, Americans...

a Dutchman and a Dutch woman,

I really can't think of them all.

And from the East?

Two Romanians and a Turk.

- Do you know this Turk well?
- What do you mean by "well"?

Is he a close friend?

You might say so.
But we're a close-knit company.

That's all for the moment.

- Like another?
- No, thank you.

- Thanks for the information.
- You're welcome.

You'll hear from me.
Bye, Miss Vakulic.

Bye, Mr. Bodmer.

How long will it take?

You don't need two days
to analyze a bit of powder.

There's nothing here.
I've got eyes in my head.

One moment...

Foot powder?

You can't be serious?

The jerks can't tell sugar from salt.

- That lets Ratlas off the hook.
- Him, but not that Vakulic woman.

Policemen aren't all that stupid.

Moritz Fischer, Philip
Stone from Amsterdam.

- And his wife.
- Good evening.

- How was it?
- Terrific.

Your girlfriend's great.

Just think, he's going to engage me
for his troupe in Holland.

Let's go to my place.
This calls for a drink.

My car's on the other side.

Milena, know "Einb?rgerungsbeamter"
in English?

"Einb?rgerungsbeamter" in English?

Martha, do you know?


- That could be any kind of official.
- Probably not "special agent".

Just a normal officer.

- A special officer.
- A normal civil servant.

Normal, then special.
Still not right.

Hurry up, or we'll get to
the Town Hall late.

Yes, dear. I'm almost ready.

You can get in the car.

Before we come to Swiss history,

the committee would like to know
what you think of our militia system.

Compulsory military service.

- You have two boys.
- My boys are still little.

But nevertheless each of them
has at least five different guns.

There's nothing I can do about it.

Forbid them, or take them
away, and they get new ones.

It'll soon be over.

What rotten luck!
You were driving too fast.

You never look in the
rear-view mirror.

Did I do something wrong?

You forgot to indicate.

One's broken. I should
go to the garage.

Your licence, please.

Take it easy.

We're expected at the Town Hall.

So, try your indicators.


Okay. Left.

I can't believe it.
Drive on!

I must say, Mr. Grimolli,
you really know your Swiss history.

If Tell were alive today,
who do you think he would shoot?

Well... Gessler.

You didn't get it.

I mean, if Tell lived today,
among us in these times.

Gessler. If Tell was here,
Gessler would be here too.

No Gessler, no Tell.

They all work. I'm afraid
this means a fine.

- 20 francs. Like to pay now?
- If it's fast.

Paying cash is always quickest.

You'll still have time to get married.

Now for the last question.

Your character reference says
you didn't take part

in that demonstration in Biel.

Did you have any special reason?

That Saturday...

my wife went to see
her sister in Ticino.

I looked after the two boys
and the younger one felt sick.

So I stayed at home.

If it weren't for that, you would
have made the trip to Biel?

Or did you have other reasons
for staying at home?

Try and remember.


if my wife hadn't gone away,
I think...

I'd have gone to Biel.

That'll be all, Mr. Grimolli.
Thank you for coming.

And now for Dr. and Mrs. Starke.

Dr. Helmut Starke
and Mrs. Gertrud Starke.

The naturalization committee
welcomes you to a short hearing.

Are you nervous?

No, not at all.

Just a little breathless.

We were delayed and were
afraid we'd arrive late.

I'll give you time
to catch your breath.

You know we've examined
your character references.

And we have asked you to come
to get to know you personally.

On the basis of today's hearing
and the documents at our disposal

we shall make our recommendation.

So you must be prepared to wait
a few weeks for the decision.

Before we have a chat, however,

I must admit that you are
not an easy case for us.

Your references are so convincing
that I have the feeling

we're talking as citizen to citizen.

Let them all clean up
their bloody files themselves.

I'm not always going to carry
the files upstairs all by myself.

Silvia is nice. She says...

if I have to do it again,
she'll help me.

Good morning.
Get up! Breakfast!

If anyone comes up, he's got
to clean his shoes outside.

Or I'll pitch him down the stairs.

Is breakfast ready? Jam on the table?

You didn't notice.
I always catch you out.

Your turn's coming.

You can't catch me out.

The bell rang.
Go and see who it is.

No peace even on a Saturday.

Bodmer's outside. Bodmer!

Can't catch me out that way.

- Order milk and a yoghurt from him.
- I'm serious. Come and see.

Sorry to disturb you.
I happened by.

I'm not dressed yet.

Never mind about that.

Just a couple of questions.

Expecting someone for breakfast?

A girlfriend from the theatre.

- All right if we sit here?
- Of course.

Miss Vakulic, you really want
to be a Swiss citizen?

Of course. Why?

I suspect you aren't
taking it seriously.

- How do you mean?
- What I say.

You can't do what you like with us.

I don't know what you're getting at.

I don't think I need be more explicit.

If the committee says "No",
it's "No".

You don't want that.

- Will they turn me down?
- That depends on you.

Tell me if I've done
anything wrong. Or...

I'm working at the
theatre all day.

We're interested
in what you do apart from that.

That's about all.

I don't want to keep you.

I'd like to have a look around.

- I was up late last night.
- Some guests never seem to leave.

- Is this the only other room?
- Yes, the bedroom.

- The bed's unmade.
- We turn a blind eye with artistes.

On TV they say you sleep better
between coloured sheets.

- Is that true?
- I don't know.

But I sleep well enough.

It's nice and wide.

- Is this the bathroom?
- I just wanted to have a bath.

Not much room.

Enough for me alone.

Better than nothing.

Drop in again if you
have any questions.

I know my job. By the way,
lies won't help you.

How do you mean?

Tell your girlfriend, Miss Vakulic,

she needn't hide next time.

Now the coffee's cold.

My naturalization's down the drain.

All you need is to sway the board.

What's the use
after they read the report?

Saying I'm a prankster.
And a dancer!

Who will they believe?
An officer or a dancer?

If you look at me,
I'd say every case is different.

The theatre's bound to hear
I've been turned down.

And that will be the end
of my tour in Holland.

I won't risk my career
because of Bodmer.

Nor let our weekend
be spoilt by Bodmer.

You can talk. You super Swiss citizen.

You could have clocked in ages ago.

Marry a Swiss.

- You?
- I didn't say that.

Just thought it.
It's corrupting an official.

No, there are other possibilities.

It's me, a Swiss from SwitzerLand

Where freedom grows on trees

A land of joy and plenty

A land of Alpine cheese

The moon upon the mountain peaks

Illuminates our liberty

It's me, a Swiss from Switzerland

Where freedom grows on trees

This grand feast of citizenship,
if I am permitted a few words,

is a farewell party as well.

Our esteemed consultant,
our colleague, Dr. Starke,

is leaving us to set up
his own practice

as a full-fledged
citizen of this city.

Dr. and Mrs. Starke,
on my own personal behalf,

in the name of the
entire medical staff

as well as the nursing staff,

I would like to wish you both
all the best in the future.

Open the buffet for our
fresh-baked Swiss couple.

A bit higher. Hold it!
Say "Cheese".

Now comes the moment of truth.

- What's the crossbow for?
- What for?

Now you'll have to prove
you've become a real Swiss citizen.

Out of the way! Ready.
Giorgio, get me a chair.

Sandra, you got an apple?

I used them all up in the cake.

- Got anything else?
- A melon?

A melon? Great! Perfect!
Fetch it!

Come here, Carlo!

Excuse me.
We won't be long.

Sit down here.

Manfredo, you're raving mad.

- Watch this.
- Want to make a fool of me?

Show us you're a genuine Swiss hero.

If not, it's goodbye citizenship.

Do it, Grimolli.

Come on, Francesco.
Sandra made coffee and baked a cake.

Want to keep her waiting? Shoot!

You shoot! You!

Who became Swiss?
You or me?

It shouldn't be hard
to hit that big harvest moon.

Come on and show us
how to shoot.

Shoot! Shoot!

Shoot! Shoot!

The new William Tell!
Bravo, Grimolli!

Dad, look, it's chocolate.

Francesco, look who's coming.
Our guest of honour.

Mr. Bodmer himself.

And for our guest,
one, two, three!

Forward, people, invade the manor.
Red is our banner, red is our banner.

Avanti, popolo, join in the fray.
The old Red Banner will win the day.

- I'm a little bit late.
- There's a note for you.

- What's the idea?
- Think a little.

Concerning an applicant?

- Concerning you, Fischer.
- Me?

You and Miss Vakulic.

The times you left the house together.

- Anything to say for yourself?
- Actually, no. What for?

- Is it a crime to be seen with a lady?
- It's not just any lady.

An applicant for naturalization.

You seem to have forgotten that.

We all slip.

I can recall several cases of
foreigners trying to subvert officials

to make sure
they became Swiss citizens.

You've been used,
and you didn't catch on at all.

Your probation is soon up.
I don't want to dock you.

That Vakulic woman
will pay for this.

Her attempt to corrupt an official
is going into her file.

You can save yourself the trouble.

What do you mean by that?

Miss Vakulic wants out.
Her resignation is in the mail.

All our work was for the circular
file? Why didn't you stop her?

I didn't exactly write the letter,
but I posted it.

That's enough!
You're out of your mind.

Don't tell me
you're serious about her!

Very serious!

And I was the one, not her,
who did the corrupting.

This is a blatant breach of trust.

I'll inform the
disciplinary committee.

That means you'll be fired.

Don't bother, Mr. Bodmer.
I've handed in my resignation.

I've trained a dozen men in 20 years.

But I've never seen
anything like this. Never!

You should be ashamed! Shame on you!

Bloody hell!
Call that a Swiss!

The fellow on the drum.

- When do we drop in on him?
- A queer bird.

Always has excuses
not to let us in.

But we know how
to deal with his sort.

- To Amsterdam. No return flight.
- No return at all.

- Is that unusual?
- Amsterdam's a hotbed of vice.

Then I'm full of vice.

- I didn't notice.
- It's under your skin.

Not always.

It's out in the open
on weekend flights.

Too late now.

Your flight's boarding.
Exit B, Gate 25.

- See you, Mr. Fischer.
- See you? It's a single.

- I hope it's okay.
- She's safe with a cop.

He's not a cop any more.

Excuse me. What's
that word, "officier"?

- He's nothing at all.
- He's still a Swiss.

Doesn't he play the drums?

There are musicians
who also skate.

Just a few quest...