The Simple-Minded Murderer (1982) - full transcript

No rats here, I hope?

No, I've been here before.

No one will find us here.

-I've some pork too.
-No thanks. No more.

Eat plenty and you won't feel cold.

-Cold?
-No, I'm fine.

It's nice here.

Anna dearest, rose of Sharon.

I can feel your soft shoulders
through the dress.

Little flowers, with greenery behind.

How lovely.



Like long, soft grass.

It's prettier than the dress.

If only you could walk.

Anna, my dear one.

Then I'd kick your wheelchair
to pieces.

No, why?

I'd give it to someone who needed it.

That would be better.

But you and I, my love

would go for a long walk

breathing in the sweet smell
of new-mown hay

and perhaps dance with each other.

Quite still.

It's fish making rings



and white water-lilies bobbing
on the surface.

The yellow ones
are sticking up above it.

If you drop a piece of bark into
the eddies it will go with the boat.

A lot of things
are hard to understand...

Collywobbles!

That's what comes of gobbling.

Your hair smells so nice.

It's best to strike you
with the back of my hand.

The skin is thinner there

and I can feel how soft you are.

I'm thinking of my mother, who's dead

lying under heavy, black earth...

She was so soft too, under her chin

and I used
to press my lips against it.

But her arms always shook
as if there was an engine in them.

I never saw my father in real life

but there's a picture of him
in the museum.

Not his face but his body.

The head's a real officer
they painted in.

Dad was a model for the body.

He was a brave soldier.
I've got his head here.

That's my father.

He's an angel in heaven now,
defending everyone.

Do you remember my sister Vera?

Remember?

What?

Remember Vera?

She came all the way
from Stockholm by train.

She has pretty clothes too.

She's married to an engineer

and they live in Stockholm,
same as the King.

He's so rich they can go
where they like.

He's thinking of buying
a farm down here.

They've been in Germany and America.

They can take a boat or an aeroplane,
wherever they like.

Vera!

Why, Sven!

Anna and Mrs Andersson.

Erlandsson.

It's Bengt.

Vera gave me a bible.

She's kind now

but she was with the others
when I was little.

If you touch me I'll hurt my hand.

Once she made me eat porridge
with hen shit in it.

You stupid idiot!

Everyone said I was an idiot
and she hated it.

I went to school for a time
and learned to read.

Mostly the "Triumph"

but also Vera's bible.

"Thy lips, O my spouse,
drop as the honeycomb

honey and milk are under thy tongue.

And the smell of thy garments!

is like the smell of Lebanon."

That enough?

I'd have taken more of there was room.

Lift the pig down
and it'll be easier to load.

Carefully now.

Christ, the pig's loose!

Well, that's that.

It's late, I must get to town.

I was wondering if...

What are you gaping at, you idiot?

Go to hell, you bloody idiot!

I should have killed him then.

The bastard.

I didn't dare.

Carrying on like that... Bastard!

"I'm fed up here. I'm off to town."

"All the best, Mum. Vera."

Vera sent money from Malm?

but things got worse after she left.

Mum began to get pains
in her stomach.

I don't know what it was
but she seemed to shrink and try up

like poisoned mice.

She went from farm to farm
doing odd jobs.

Anyone at home?

Sven, are you ready?

Why is it so dark here?

What's the matter with Mrs Olsson?

I don't know.

She's been lying like that all night.

She hasn't spoken a word.

Then I suppose she's dead.

Yes, she's dead.

I'm awfully sorry.

Is Mum dead?

Yes.

She made a peaceful end. No pain.

Is Mum dead?

Don't be sad now.

You're to go to Mr H?glund today.

Good thing you're being taken in hand.

I'll notify the vicar and the police.

Is Mum dead?

Get yours things and come with me.

Mr H?glund wants you
to start work today.

Is Mum dead?

Take the chest

and I'll take the sack.

Come on, Sven. Let's go.

That's Mr H?glund's house.

You're to sleep
in the stable over there.

It's the door over there.

The first pen on the left.

Go on, in you go!

Are you the new hand?

Take these and fill them up there.

Here are some sandwiches for you.

Welcome.

Are you the idiot who is to work here?

We'll soon get you moving.

I'm H?glund, the manager.

I've seen you before.

Call me sir. Understand?

"Yes, sir."

Yes, sir.

Are you strong?

Good.

You're to work here on the farm

and lend a hand at my workshop in town.

I'm sorry about your mother.

Where's ?spet?

Straight ahead.

They found they'd given him
the wrong bottle

so they went back and said:
"Still alive?"

"That was hydrochloric acid you drank."

And he said: "No wonder it made
a hole in the jerry."

It's dangerous
to drink hydrochloric acid.

That's what is so funny.
He drank acid instead of brandy.

He might have died.

It's no good telling you funny stories.

Take that thing out,
and be careful of it.

It's worth several thousand.

You can hang her on that hook there.

I've got him! I've got him!

-What am I to do with him?
-Drown it.

One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight

nine, ten, eleven, twelve,
thirteen, fourteen...

No I can't. I can't.

Easy Sven. I'll take it.

I know, it's bloody awful.
But someone's got to do it.

"A nd I saw another mighty angel
come down from heaven

clothed with a cloud:
and a rainbow was upon his head

and his face was as it were the sun

and his feet as pillars of fire."

You stay here!

Ever since the day we married...
I get so bloody mad.

Out you go, kids. Look sharp!

I'm damned if I'll stand it.

Stop blubbering. Stop your whining.

I can't stand it.
Stop, for Christ's sake!

Get this off to H?kanssons today.

Bengt's ill today, sir.

You drive then.

How the hell does this work?

There's no oil.

Where the hell's the oil?

Over there.

This is molasses, but it may do.

Molasses!

If you pour that in
the whole engine will seize up.

I'd like to see his dad
if he wrecks the engine.

Oil is what it needs.

My mum darned my stockings.

My mum's dead. Dead and buried.

You damned idoit.

The word's not idoit. It's idiot.

Start by putting it in first gear.

That's fine. No, never mind those.

Now gently with the clutch...

No, no! Take it easy!

Now drive straight ahead. No, wait!

To drive forwards you put it in first.
Easy now. No! Stop!

-Shall I put them in the bows?
-Yes.

I can row.

We'll have a snifter first.

No, Sven, you stay here.

Hi, there! Come here!

Come here!

Like a sweet?

Nice day.

Yes.

You can keep me company
while they swim.

I'd like to.

Do you like wild strawberries?

-Like it?
-Yes. Oh, look!

I'm sorry.

-Like some?
-No.

-Go on.
-I've had some.

"Do you know him, do you know him,
the little tailor?

Do you know him, do you know him,
the little tailor?

One evening he cut off
the head of the apprentice

He threw the head
into the river and then he ran away."

Have you heard it before?

We met Sven down by the lake.

Like some coffee?

Axel, run and get some cups.

Do sit down.

I haven't laughed so much for ages.

-I could never do it.
-Go on, try!

So you have to sleep with the animals.

In a pen.

It's warm.

It's damned wicked.

Let's play grab.

I've been waiting four hours
for the bugger.

-Like some, Sven?
-No, thanks.

-You don't want any?
-No.

Coming! Coming!

-Hurry up, I haven't all day.
-Sorry, sorry!

You drunken sot.

Up you get.
I must be in Malm? before six.

You bloody boozer.

I'm not well.

Sven can drive.

-Can you drive?
-I've no licence.

I asked if you can drive.

A little.

Put on his uniform then.

Stop!

I forgot my briefcase.
It's up in the bedroom.

Come in!

What are you doing up here?

I've come for the briefcase.

It's there.

What the hell
is it doing on the road...

Why didn't it look
where it was going...

Where the devil have you been?

Out hunting.

Here's a little present.
You can make it into sausages.

The man carrying it
is a Nobel Prizewinner.

Tell him to take the corpse out
to the kitchen.

You can give him some hogwash.

Yes, sir. I will see to it at once.

Sit here and keep out of the way.

This is the stuff to give the troops.

We must drink while we're sober,
as the miller said before being drowned.

He couldn't see,
so a waiter had to help him.

There was a huge bowl of prawns
and his eyes lit up.

Do you know what he said? Hi, girls!

But he was blind.

He had a glass eye
and it was phosphorized.

Bring the bill!

I've dropped the money under the table.

You can crawl in and pick up
what you have the heart to.

I'm not going to count it.

Thank you, sir, thank you.

He's half-jew.

Yes. At least.

Now to my place for a sauna.

Yes. And I know some
nice female bath attendants.

I'll go and call them up.

Come along, you boozers.
Let's get started.

Welcome.

In with it.

You do live in style.

Bet you bloody life I do.

Put me down, I'm sober.

Down to the cellar and the sauna.

You can go out to the kitchen.

I'll tell him to carry the case down.

Take the champagne down to them.

Put the champagne over there.

-Vera!
-Hallo.

Come over here.

You're so old, my dear. So bloody old.

Why must one grown so bloody old.

What do you want, you hideosity?

What's the time?

Speak up! You bloody idiot.

As late as that.

It's prize-giving
for the best stallion today.

Get my clothes! I'm going home.

I thought I heard something.

It was only Sune.

It's only the postman on his bike.

He always talks to himself.

He's in charge of money
and parcels and letters.

He talks to someone inside him
but they don't call him an idiot.

Mind the train, Simple Simon.

Go to hell, you bastards.

Watch out
or you'll get a sock on the jaw.

"A nd the angel trust in his
sickle onto the earth

and gathered the vine of the earth

and cast it into the great winepress
of the wrath of God.

And the winepress
was trodden without the city.

and blood came out of the winepress."

I'd like to speak to Mr H?glund.

He's in the office.

It was about the rent, sir.

Oh yes, it's due today.
You're late, by the way.

You'd better pay it to Wallin,
I'm going home now.

But I've no money. We've been ill.

Can't I have a respite till the spring?

You're crazy.
It's for this year's bookkeeping.

You must pay it tonight.

Can't I have a respite?

I don't want to be unfair.

What's today? 3rd December.

You can bring the money on Xmas Eve.

But I can't scrape it together by then.

It's impossible.

You can sell your fine cart-horse.

I want the money on Xmas Eve.

Or out you go. With a flea in your ear.

The bastard. The sodding bastard.

I'm no better than the beasts.

No wonder I can't go to church.

My wages are nil.

But H?glund gets money
from the public relief

for having me here.

"I water my couch with my tears.

Mine eye is consumed because of grief."

This meadow

and the castle

and the woods

and the fields

are mine as far as the eye can see.

My estate is under my mercy

and my domains for thousands of years.

But this is hidden from most.

I have drawn a line in the air
with the ray of my eyes

and made an invisible fence
round all this estate

and enclosed the very air above

though you cannot understand.

Sven!

You're to help Mrs H?glund
with the Christmas cleaning.

Stop that squabbling.
Can't you be nice to each other?

At least on Xmas Eve.

I've finished now.

Anyone at home?

Here's Santa Claus.
It smells of Christmas.

Has the post come?

Yes, Father.

Can Sven clean the office windows now?

Good morning, sir.

Oh, it's you, M?nsson.
About time too. Sit down.

Merry Christmas.
Have you got the money?

Yes, but it was hard.

I've sold the horse
and been to the pawnbroker.

Where there's a will there's a way.

Couldn't I pay by instalments?

We're broke now.

You've already had three weeks.

I've got it all here

but couldn't I pay some of it in March?

Oh no, my friend. You pay it now.

That's how it is in business.

One, two, three...

Quite correct.

Thank you, M?nsson.
I've written a receipt.

I'll just sign it.

Once again Merry Christmas.

Don't think I'm fussy
about such a measly sum.

It's the principle of the thing.
To pay on the right date.

I managed it this year, said the cobbler
and hanged himself on New Year's Eve.

What the hell do you want?

What's this? Why do you bring this?

Wait!

This belt is for you.

It's from Father.

Merry Christmas!

For the first time in these parts

the world's gayest abortion

Miss Flora, the legless woman.

She can neither walk or dance

but wriggles along like a snake.

I earn my living by being on show

as Flora the legless woman, you know.

My fianc? is a handsome man

who gives me kisses when he can.

But when he wants more than a kiss,
you see

he embraces my twin sister, not me.

And then his bliss is complete,
heigh-hop!

For she is the lady without a top!

-I'd like a ride on that.
-It's too dangerous.

-But I want to.
-It's risky.

I want to all the same.

-Are you sure you dare?
-I bloody well am!

Let me go!

Faster!

-So long.
-It was a nice evening.

Be seeing you.

Glad to meet you.

We'll make a good deal.

We have before, so why not again?

Vera! In that nice car!

For God's sake shut up!

-What is it?
-I've got something for you later.

There's that idiot.

Come in! Dinner's ready.

I was thinking...

You needn't let people know that...

That you're my brother.

I'll ask if you can have
a better place to sleep.

This is...

Father, they've come.

Have a go. Try and hit that white one.

It will be interesting to try.

Bull's eye! - Fetch it!

Bloody god for a pastor.

We cannot keep silent while gypsies,
Jews and others

sneak into our country,
poisoning our community

and pinching out money and work.

We know that resolute men
with a will of steel

can put a stop to it.

We have only to look out over the world.

It is happening now, my friends.

Let us show out firmness tomorrow

when those damn reds have their meeting.

We'll teach them to shut up.

This can be the fatal hour
of our struggle.

But today we'll muster our strength
and enjoy ourselves.

Three cheers for our generous host!

Attention!

Dear friends.

I hope you feel welcome
and have a good appetite.

We have very few of the fair sex

but I've asked my wife
and Mrs Berghald to lend a hand.

I'm glad to see you all here.

Here's the chicken.

Oh, my quarry!

Cock-adoodle-doo! Wake up!

We're going to have some fun.

Put this dress on.

No.

Put it on, I say!

No, I won't.

-No, I won't.
-Do as I say!

Here's a little poppet
with something to drink.

May I have the pleasure?

Let him go! Leave him alone!

What's biting you?
Can't we have some fun?

What's the use of this?

Heavens above Sven!

Just look at you!
Come on in, my dear boy.

He must stay here.
He can sleep in the parlour.

It's a bloody shame.

Drink this hot milk. It's soothing.

There now. Sleep well.

I've come to take him home.

Home! He lives here now.

Work for me.

Like hell he does. He works for me.

He ran away a few weeks ago.
Now I need him.

You treat him like an animal.

Don't you talk to me like that.

I have the custody of this half-wit.
He has all he needs.

He's not half-witted.
He works for me and gets a wage.

I don't argue with bloody peasants.

What are we to do with the likes of him?

Here are your wages.

Don't be afraid of that H?glund any more.

There's an ad in the paper today.

"Indian Big Chief with sidecar

only 400 kronor, good as new."

-I've only got...
-You can borrow from me.

We'll go and look at it tomorrow.

Look straight ahead.

Now a nice big smile.

No, it's better serious.

That was fine. You did it very well.

Now drive round the yard.

You're ready to take your test.

You must get a good-conduct certificate.

I've got photos.

Have you?

Let's look at them.

It's me in all of them.

That's fine.

-Any first names besides Sven?
-G?sta.

Write your name right there.

There's a letter for you.

A letter for you, Sven.

Use the knife.

Well, I'm damned.

H?glund must have stopped it.

What has happened?

They won't give you
a certificate of fitness.

You must have it for a driving licence.

I'll ring and ask
what the hell they mean.

I've spoken to the parson too.
He said you were mentally deranged.

And he never met you.

H?glund told him to say it.

He's like a king in these parts.

His word is law.

But I'll show the bastard.

Dear friends, my warmest thanks
to Mr and Mrs Andersson

for looking after me so generously.

Soon the hour of destiny will strike

and we will combat the enemy
side by side.

You cared for me, let me live with you

in a proper room with wallpaper

paid me a wage so that
I could bye this English overcoat

and take driving lessons
and apply for a driving licence.

I'll gladly work till the sweat runs

because I get real money once a week.

Mr Andersson helped me and a lawyer

spoke to those in authority
and the press came

and a doctor examined
me at the madhouse.

He said I was fit to drive
and wasn't an idiot.

Mr Andersson sat up every night writing

and put out a lot of money.

He spoke to the police and stopped
them from taking me away.

Mr H?glund had to give in.

They gave me a certificate

and wrote that folk are not
to be kept in a calf-pen.

In the end I got my licence.

I got a real driving licence!

A hot dog. No mustard.

Simple Simon is out for a ride!

Fine motorbike you've got, Sven.

Where's the tooter? Is that it?

That's for you.

Goodness gracious! What...

Have you made this?

Why are we to have...

Because...

Help!

Help!

I didn't see anyone... a sack...

He kicked and beat me.

He smelled of smoke.

It's awful.

Why must the road go over my land?
It's to go through the bog.

Your land? You only rent it.

But I have a lease.

It was decided
at the meeting and all have agreed.

Hell!

Sven, wake up! The pigsties are in fire!

Fetch more water!

My lawyer wants a word with you.

You've been careless about your bills.

No, I've... How did you get hold if them?

We have our connections.

About the lease... Can't we go inside?

Yes, this leasehold...

It adjoins my land
and I'd like to take it over.

Is this your famous motorbike?

Do you keep it in here at night?

Yes.

Must have cost quite a lot.

Four hundred.

Where is Bengt?

I can't here you.

Where is Bengt?

He used to drive the car.

Oh, he quit.

He drank too much. He was fired.

A nice bike, this. Very nice.

Those bastards are hand in glove.

He'll just have to take it over then.

And the bills he has ferreted out.

They turn the law inside out.

But we'll find a way. You've had enough.

I'll drink as much as I want.

I suppose they'll auction
all out things now.

How else can we scrape it together?

-Have a dram, Sven.
-No, thanks.

You'll bloody well have a dram
and be human.

Well, it's late.

Let's go to bed.

It's your fault.

It's all your fault.

It's all because you came.

I can't help it.

Why did you come here?

You've ruined everything.
You and your motorbike.

Don't touch me, you idiot.
Don't touch me! Leave me alone!

Darling Anna...

Darling Anna...

Five chairs, who'll bid a krona?

-One ten.
-One ten.

One twenty-five.
Going, going, gone.

-One thirty.
-Too late.

Here's a cushion with a Chinese pattern.

25 ?re.

-50 ?re.
-That's the way...

They've taken it!
My motorcycle!

They've passed through here.

Anything there?

-I can't see anything.
-Dive deeper.

It's here.

No!

"Behold, my servant shall deal prudently,
he shall be exalted

and extolled and be very high.

As many were astonished at thee

his visage was so marred,
more than any man

and his form more than the sons of men;

He is despised and rejected of men;

a man of sorrows
and acquainted with grief."

I know I can talk to him.

I cannot take that responsibility.

-He is such a kind man.
-He is armed.

He is an idiot. - Onwards!