The Seven Year Hitch (2012) - full transcript

Jennifer and Kevin have been inseparable since becoming best friends at age six. So when Jennifer graduates from college and begins building a career in charity, she thinks it's only right to let drop-out Kevin live in her newly purchased house until he gets back on his feet. Seven years later, Jennifer is continuing up the career ladder while Kevin is still golf caddying and waiting for his big break. Jennifer is happy to let Kevin march to his own beat, but her new boyfriend, arrogant corporate manipulator Bryce, wants her to kick Kevin to the curb. Oblivious to his cheating ways, Jennifer is ecstatic when Bryce asks her to marry him after only six months of dating, secretly using her angelic reputation to gain favor with his boss Mrs. Von Hoffman. Kevin catches Bryce cheating and is determined to spare Jennifer an unhappily ever after experience. With a little help from his brother who is in law school, and support from his meddling neighbor Mr. Henderson, Kevin finds out he is legally married to Jennifer in a common law marriage after living together for exactly seven years. Now it's up to Kevin to prove he is Jennifer's equal, forever.

- Ah, look at this.
It's beautiful.

- Come on.

- It's right next to
the left gate.

- Mom!

The new neighbors are here!

Hi.
- Hey, can i see that?

- No, i was about
to play with it!

Give it to me!

It's mine!
Mine!

Give it back!

- Ah!



Buddy, i'm doing
your karma a favor.

Your slinky, i believe.

- Thank you.

- I'm kevin.
- I'm jennifer.

Welcome to the neighborhood.

Hi.
- Hi, jennifer.

How much are the cookies?
- Cookies are a dollar.

Which cookies do you want?

Both: trick or treat.

- Come on, am i okay?
- Okay, let me get that.

Both: all right.
- Yeah.

Yeah!

- ™? livin' on a dream ♪

Wait, what does it say
right there?



Right there.
What does it say?

- "Inter--
International."

- That's right.
That's right.

- I was right.
- I believe it.

I believe it.
I do.

- Great speech,
ms. Valedictorian.

You guys ready
to go take on the world?

- I will settle
for a foot massage

And an umbrella drink.

- Can you guys believe it?

We've graduated.
No more school ever!

Except for ms. Law school.

She's got three more years.

- Now you finally get
to channel your hostility

Into something
that will get you paid.

- I know.

- It's a dream come true.

- So what about you, jen?
- You guys, i bought a house.

- What?
- I bought a house.

- Are you kidding me?
- Surprise, i did!

- Are you--You're joking.
- No, i'm serious.

You know how i worked
every single job i could get

And saved every cent
for a down payment.

Both: yeah?

- And i got it, you guys.
I got a house.

And it's absolutely perfect.

- I mean...
- Congratulations.

- Leave it to the ceo
of the second grade lunchroom.

Ah!
- Thank you.

- I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.

- Congratulations.
- Hey, jen.

Great speech!
- Thanks, kev.

- So we still on for friday?
- What's friday?

- Oh, i'm moving out
of the dorms.

Yeah, some silly rule
about needing to be a student

To live here.

- Oh. Ditched out
on your final paper again, huh?

- Let's just say that's a--
- It's a work in progress.

- Thank you.

- Do you guys still have
that disease

Where you finish
each other's sentences?

- Disease?
- Mm-Hmm.

Friday works perfectly.

- Thanks, jen.

Betsy.
- Bye.

- Satan--Sally.

- Always funny.

- He is funny.

- Are you seriously gonna
let kevin just move in with you?

How is he supposed
to pay rent?

- Come on.
Kevin is great.

And charity begins
at home, right?

Besides, the place needs
a paint job, and...kev...

said he'd fix the fence.

- Kevin's a hoot, but are you
sure that's a good idea?

- Yes.

I've known kevin my whole life.
He's one of my oldest friends.

And it's just gonna be
a week or two

Until he gets on his feet.

I mean, come on.
What could possibly go wrong?

He's great, right?

Yes, mr. Fujimura.

The proposal for crystal towers
is right on schedule.

Great! I look forward
to your visit.

Great. See you next week.

Hey! You're up early.
- Yeah. Big day.

- Mm. I got the ceo
of medtron at 8:00,

I've the got
the city manager at noon,

And i got the vp
of first financial

Penciled in at 4:00.

- I didn't know your caddy
skills were so in demand.

- Next week is junior prom.

All my coworkers
are out getting tuxes.

- Mm.
- What are you--What are you--

What are you doing?
What is this?

- Hey, kevin.

- What have i told you
about instant coffee?

Yuck.

Have a soy latte,
not so much foam.

Yeah, almost as good
as being in--

- Venice.

Oh, one day,
when i'm not so crazed.

- Whatever happened to the girl
who used to pretend

She was a german
exchange student

To get free bratwurst?

- She got a job.
- Stupid jobs.

- I'm late.

The japanese backers
for crystal towers

Are coming into town
next week

And i have a ton of work
to do.

- Aren't you forgetting
something, my dear?

Hmm?

Hmm?

I packed an extra fruit roll,
dolphin-Safe tuna,

Extra pickles, no mayo.

Just the way you like it.

- You're the best.
- Yeah.

- Have a good day.
- You too.

- See you, napoleon.
Enjoy your day!

- You want breakfast?

Do you want breakfast?

Get over here.

Let's go get breakfast.

- So, with the restructuring
outlined in the proposal,

Our plan will give downtown
a whole new vision

And stay well within
your price range.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.
Enjoy your day.

Thank you.

- Jennifer.
- Oh, hi.

- Great work.

- Thank you, mr. Monroy.
Really, thank you.

- You pull one of your
slam dunks with fujimura...

we could be talking
corner office.

Great work.

- How come i'm lucky enough
to get a girl like you?

- I guess you played
your cards right.

Hello.

What are you doing
this side of town anyway?

- I was in the neighborhood,

Scoping out our firm's
new offices,

And i thought i'd swing by.

I hope you're ready to dance

Those beautiful feet off
tonight.

- Bryce! Bryce!
That sounds good, it does.

Oh, and kevin was hoping

That we could try out
one of his new games.

- Kevin.
- Mm-Hmm.

- You guys sure are
a package deal--

My best girl and her...

long, long,
long-Time roommate.

- Oh, it hasn't been
that long, bryce.

- Sweetheart,
he's lived there seven years.

- He needs a helping hand.

- You know i love kevin,
but maybe he needs...

a nudge out of the nest,
get some goals.

- He has goals.

- A grown man making
board games.

- Kevin's ship
will come in.

I know it.

- You are the nicest person
i've ever met,

And that is why i love you
so much.

- Here is to...

my one and only.

I will see you tonight.
- Bye.

- Yeah, actually you guys
are up right now,

So you can go ahead
and head inside.

- Afternoon, janie.

- Afternoon.
- A little something for you.

- Thank you.

- What's going on?

- Mrs. Von hoffman
just finished having lunch

With mr. Johnson
and his family.

I heard her say the new partner
is gonna be johnson or you.

- Mrs. Von hoffman.

- Such a lovely boy, unlike some
who have yet to grow up.

- Did you hear that i signed
our friends on the coast?

- Well, you're making all sorts
of deals today, aren't you?

- I'll see you tonight.

And bring that delightful
girlfriend of yours.

Ciao, darling.

- All right?
Mm-Hmm?

Nice shot, mr. Bellamy

Eh?
- Nice call, son.

- Good job!

- Ready, gentlemen?

- So, each samurai
fortifies a castle

To defend
the neighboring village

From the other players
on the hexagonal grid.

What do you think?

- It's perfect
for ages eight to loser.

- Mm, kevin based it
on real history.

It's neat, huh?
- It's fascinating.

Sweetie, don't we have
a gala to go to?

- Can i just
fix my contacts first?

- Hey, what's that gala
that you guys are going to?

What's it for?

- My firm's just moving
into newer offices.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Needed a bigger place
for your ego?

- Okay.

Okay. Ready.

Bye, kev.
Good night.

- Checkmate.

Told you.
- Yeah.

- Mr. Davis.

You remember jennifer.
- Hello, it's nice to see you.

- Will you please excuse me
for a second?

- Your jennifer's
quite a catch.

- Yes.

- Which firm is she with?
- She's with monroy and klein.

- Impressive.

- She's lovely.

Darling, there's something

I've been meaning
to discuss with you.

- Yes, ma'am.

- As you know,

We are hiring
a new partner in july.

- I haven't really
given it much thought.

- Of course you haven't.

- Well, a word to the wise...

a young man should be able
to play the field,

But a partner needs
to project stability.

- I couldn't agree more.

And jennifer and i have been
going out exclusively

For six months.

- Really?

I know a certain receptionist
who would beg to differ.

Now, the choice
is between you and johnson.

His numbers aren't
as good as yours,

But he
is a solid family man.

I see.

- Your jennifer would make
some lucky man a fabulous wife.

Don't you agree?

- Yes.

Yes, i do.

- Enjoy the party.

- I've gotta hand it to you.

In the past year, you've really
pulled your life together.

You've got a new job,
a great boyfriend.

I was starting to worry that
kevin was rubbing off on you.

- What?

You are so wrong
about kevin.

He's one of
the smartest people i know,

And he's always had my back.

- Sweetie, i know that kevin's
your best friend,

And he's a puppy dog,

But don't you see
you're just enabling him?

You would actually be
doing him a favor

By making him stand
on his own two feet.

You know? Tough love.

- Come on!

So my golden ticket
came in today.

Mr. Bellamy's interested
in my game idea.

- That's great news, kev.

- Yeah, i've got a meeting
on saturday.

- Ah! Man!

- The game is off.

Bar exam's next month
and i've only slept

Two hours this week.

- Yeah, well,
you have to man up.

Tonight's poker night.

- Thought you had a date
tonight.

- Oh, she said, uh--
She canceled.

I wanna meet somebody nice,

Not too crazy.

- That rules out
all your past girlfriends.

Oh, wow.

Hey.

- I gotta get back
to the library.

- Oh, come on.

- I've gotta read up
on tarts of contracts.

- Isn't that torts
and contracts?

- That's exactly why
i've gotta read up.

- Yeah.

- Anyway, we don't all have
three-Hour workdays, kev.

- Oh, may i remind you,
i may not pay rent,

But that house
runs smoothly.

It's a win-Win.

- Maybe, but someday,
jen is gonna move on,

And when she does,
you gotta get a real job.

She's already got bryce.

- Bryce is totally wrong
for her.

And she'll figure it out
soon enough.

I know her.

What a terrific evening.

And i thought that you were
all tied up with work this week.

- What could i say?
I had to see you.

- And i had to see you.

- Mm.

Because i wanted to see
if something fit.

- See if what fits?

- Come here.
- Okay.

- My grandmother's
engagement ring.

- Oh, my gosh.

- My grandfather brought
this ring from the old country.

He carried
across two continents,

But he used to say...

he'd carry it
to the end of the earth

For the woman he loved.

And now i know
just how he felt.

- Are you serious?

Jennifer...

what i want to know
is will you marry me?

- Yes.

Yes, of course.

Oh, it's beautiful.

It's a little loose,
but wow.

- I'll get it resized.

From here on, everything
is going to be perfect.

- Thank you.

- I gotta check my messages.
I'll be right back.

- Mm-Hmm.

- Uh, kev. Hi
do you have a minute?

- Yeah!

I'm just going through
my game ideas book.

- Kev, we need to talk.
- Mm-Hmm. Okay.

- So you know how i said
that you could stay here

Until you got on your feet?
- Mm-Hmm.

- But kev,
that was seven years ago.

- Yeah, i know.
Time flies.

- Yeah.

- Uh, so there's something
that i need to tell you.

- Okay.
- I have some news.

- Yeah?

- Bryce proposed.

Bryce proposed?

Re--Really?

What?

Wow. What--What did he say
when you turned him down?

He cried, right?
Is he crying outside?

- No, kev.

I said yes.

- What?
- Yes!

- No.
- Yes, i'm getting married.

Look.
- No. No, no.

You can't marry someone

After only knowing them
for six months.

- Oh, sure you can.

If it's the right person,
yes, you can.

- No, no.
Je--Jen!

I've seen you take longer
picking out fridge magnets.

Okay? Could you just think
about this for a second?

- I have.
I have thought about this.

Wow.

After the wedding,

Bryce is gonna be
moving in here,

So i think it's best that--

You need to move out.
- Oh!

Who are you right now?

And what have you done
with jennifer?

- Kevin, this is gonna be
a really good thing for you.

It will give you a chance
to have structure in your life

And get a real job.

- I have a real job!

- And nobody believes
in your board games

And your caddying
more than i do.

- Who's gonna take napoleon
to the park?

Hmm?
Who's gonna feed the fish?

You don't even know
this guy.

I bet you he doesn't even know
what your favorite color is.

Green.

Your scarf is green,
your dress is teal.

It's a form of green.
You love green fridays.

- Kevin...

it's time.

It's gonna be a good thing
for you.

I know it.

- Dad?

- Kevin, how many times
have i told you

About blocking my car?

A man's house
is his castle.

Consider my driveway
a piranha-Filled moat, okay?

- I'm sorry, mr. Henderson.
I'll be more careful.

- Kev,
you look terrible, kid.

- I had a rough night.

- You should marry that girl.

Mr. Bellamy.

Oh, i'm sorry.

I thought
you were somebody else.

- That sounds good.

- Bryce.

- Kevin.

What-What are you
doing here?

This isn't
your usual hangout.

- I swapped.
You too, i see.

- Uh, this is chandra.
Chandra, this is kevin.

- Hi!
- Hi.

- Why haven't we met before?
- Mm.

- I thought i knew
all of bryce's friends.

- Me too.
- Mm-Hmm.

- I'll be right back.

- Chandra's
a business colleague.

I don't know
what you think you saw--

- I know what i saw, bryce.
- Listen, caddy.

I'm not serious about chandra,
but i am about jennifer.

We have a future together.

Don't you mess that up.

- Hi, kevin.
- Mr. Bellamy...

i-I gotta go.

Jen, i saw something today.
Um--

- Yeah, i know.

Bryce told me
you ran into each other today.

- He did?
- Yeah.

He had a meeting with chandra.
He said he ran into you.

- You know about her?
- Yeah, she's great.

She heads up
the midwest operations.

- Wha--Okay.

Okay, well,
brace yourself, okay?

Because i--

I hate to have to be the one
to tell you this, but...

she was all over him.

- Kevin, is this because
you want things to go back

To the way they were?
- What--No!

No! I feel like my brain
is about to explode!

- Jen?

- Yep, there it goes.

- Oh. And how are
my two favorite people?

- Hi.
- How's it packing, kevin?

I know
it's a bit of a shock,

But you're gonna thank us
for this one day, okay, buddy?

Honey, did i leave my
gold cufflinks in the kitchen?

I need them for my trip.

- Oh, absolutely.
I will go get them.

Too bad, caddy.
Your meal ticket's been pulled.

- Oh, you cheating jerk.

- You know,
if i wasn't schooled

In the teachings
of the dalai lama,

I'd wipe that smile right off
your two-Timing face.

Mm.

What the heck, huh?

Aah!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey!

- I'll get 'em to stop.

Don't make me get
my leaf blower, you two.

- Aah!

- Okay! Okay!

- What are you doing?

- Oh, honey.

- It's a $2,000 suit!

Ah!
He bit me!

We'll get inside and we'll
get something on it, okay?

Kevin!

- I got it worse!
He tastes like deodorant!

- Kevin.

That was pathetic.

- It's not even funny.

It's not even funny, man!

Bryce wants a trophy wife.

He's totally, utterly wrong
for her.

- Look, nothing you can do.

Why are you really so upset?

- Because it's jen.

She's rushing into this.

I just feel like
this freight train is heading

Right toward my best friend,
and i gotta do something.

If only i could just buy
a little more time.

She'd see for herself
how wrong bryce is for her.

And as her best friend,

I have to do everything
in my power to protect her.

- Hmm.

That's funny.

In a lot of states,

You'd practically
be married yourselves.

Common-Law marriage anyway.

- Wait, what do you--
What do you mean common law?

- It goes back
to frontier times

When people didn't live
close enough to a city

To get married
by a justice of the peace.

- Uh-Huh.
Uh-Huh.

- Lawmakers knew
they had to do something

So that people living farther
afield could get married.

So...

they decreed that
if people lived together

A certain period of time,
met certain conditions,

Then the state would step in
and make the whole thing legal.

- Really?

- It's called
a common-Law marriage.

- And how is this different
than a real marriage?

- It is a real marriage.

If you've got
a common-Law marriage,

In the eyes of the law,
you're a husband and wife.

- Common law.

Hi, jen.
- Hi, kev.

- Whatcha doing?

- Oh, i'm just looking up ideas
for the reception.

- Hmm.

- I've always wanted a gazebo
in the backyard

And this place
has beautiful ones.

- That's nice.

- So, uh,
how's the packing going?

- I learned
something important today.

Something big.

- Which is?

- You can't marry bryce.

- Okay, kevin--
- You ever heard of common law?

Hmm?

Well, common law states
that a man and woman

That have been living together
for seven years--Like us--

Uh, and they meet
certain conditions--

Well, they're considered married
in the eyes of the law,

Which would make us...

husband and wife.

- Who told you that?

- Oh, jeremy told me that.

- Oh, jeremy.
- Mm-Hmm.

- Jeremy told you that.

Jeremy who's passed the bar exam
how many times?

- Yeah, okay.
- Zero.

- Fair enough.
But, uh, jen?

- Okay, this is ridiculous.
- Yeah.

Oh.

Okay.

This marriage is gonna take
a little work.

- Coming!

- I dropped the kids
at daycare

And came over
as fast as i could.

Now about
this little situation.

- I feel ridiculous asking,

But i have to be
absolutely sure.

- Don't look so worried, okay?
- Okay.

- In order for someone
to be able to argue

That a common-Law
marriage exists,

There are some very specific
conditions that need to be met.

- Okay, so this is all
just nonsense, right?

- Oh, i'm sure that you have
nothing to worry about.

- Okay.

- So there are four conditions
that must be met.

- Four, right.

- So first and foremost,

The couple in question
needs to be a man and woman

Living in a state where
common law applies, like here.

- Mm-Hmm.

- Right.
- Second.

They both need to have lived
in the same residence

For at least seven years.

So you meet
both those things.

- Mm-Hmm.
- Mm-Hmm.

- Relax.

So do a million people, okay?
- Okay.

- It's the last two that are
definitely the most important.

So during the seven years,

The couple needs to have,
at least once,

Held themselves out
as a married couple.

And i mean,

You never did that, right?
- No!

No. Like introduce him
as my husband?

- Okay.

- Like,
"hi, my name's jennifer,

And this is my husband,
kevin."

- Good! Good.
That's great.

And i mean, you never, like,
used the same last name

On any public documents.

- No!
No, i have ne--

- What is that face?

- Well, we took that cruise
to mazatlan,

And i might've said
that he was my husband

So we'd get
the half-Off deal.

- Right.

- And, uh, don't forget
the cable account.

- And the cable account.

- That's only three conditions.

The fourth is definitely
the most important.

- Okay.

- So the law
specifically states

That at least one
of the two parties

Must be able to argue that
there was an intention to marry

At some point, and the only way
to prove that,

There must be some sort
of public exchanging of vows

Or the giving
of a symbolic gift.

And...that didn't happen,
right?

- No!
No, that never happened.

- Okay.

- Hey, what about that ring?

- Ow.

- Ring? What ring?

- This.

What? It's a friendship ring
kevin gave to me.

Please.
It's not worth anything.

His mom made it
when she lived in a commune

Back in the '70s.

- So that is a family heirloom
and kevin gave it to you.

- What?

- Look, jennifer,

This is about an accumulation
of evidence, okay?

And right now,
even kevin's dolt of a brother

Could potentially argue
that the acceptance of a ring,

In itself, denotes the implied
intention of marriage.

- So are you telling me
that kevin

Might actually have a case

That he and i are married?

- Uh, yes.

- Hey, honey.
How's chicago?

- Incredible.

It's pure adrenaline with
all these movers and shakers.

- Bryce, there's something
that i need to tell you.

- So how'd it go
with the caterers this morning?

- Um...

actually, something came up.
I didn't get a chance to--

- You missed henri?

- I'm sorry, okay?

I just didn't
get a chance to--

- Henri is a personal friend
and the best chef in the city.

He's doing this
as a favor to me.

- Bryce, i know.
I'm sorry, okay?

- No, it's okay.
I'll handle it.

On a lighter note,
guess who booked the arboretum.

Ha, i know
how much you love it there.

I had to pull a few strings,
but voila.

- Oh.

That's great.

- I thought
you'd be more excited.

- No, no, no.
I am.

It's--I am.
It's a dream come true, really.

- Now what did you
wanna tell me?

- Um...

nothing.

So...

how was your flight?

- Sweetheart, can i call you
back in a few minutes?

- Yep.
- All right, bye.

- Hello.
- Hi. I'm bryce.

Can i buy you guys a drink?
- Please.

- Yeah.

- So as you can see
from chart 2a,

In its first stage
of construction,

We are at an occupancy rate
of 89% for crystal towers.

- Yeah. Ah.

- Excuse me just one moment,
please.

Thank you.
I'll be back.

Kevin.
- Hi.

- Hi.
What are you doing here?

- Well, you're so busy,
you know.

You kinda took off in a hurry
and you forgot your lunch.

- Kevin--
- Yeah?

- I just heard the good news.
Congratulations!

- Thanks!
- For what?

- Well, you two of course.

Jen.

Ha! I mean, i can't believe
you kept this quiet.

Hey, by the way,
where are you guys registered?

- Uh--

- We are not registered.

I will tell you
all about it later.

- Okay.

- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, i--

I was outside
and they were asking me

Who i was gonna
come in here and see.

And i might've blurted out
that--

- That i was your...

wife.

- I'm sorry, okay?

They weren't gonna let me
in here, jen.

I only told the receptionist
and the doorman.

- There is no doorman
in this building!

- Nice guy.
Asian man.

- Kevin...

that is mr. Fujimura,
my biggest client.

Okay.
- This is--

- Yep.
Great, thank you.

- Can you believe it?
Me and kevin a couple.

I mean, have you ever heard
anything so absurd?

- No, but...

as your legal counsel,

I'm gonna need
all of the facts, you know?

Tell me you guys
were never romantic, please.

With kevin?

- Yeah.

- No! Are you crazy?

- Some women might fall for his
whole hopeless teddy bear thing.

- Yes, yes, yes.

Okay. Okay, good, good.
I like that. Okay.

- Hmm.

- Ooh, i like that,
the offering.

A peace offering?

Nice! Let's see the pacifist.

- Ooh, that's peaceful.
Ha ha.

Hey, jen.
Um...

we were just taking pictures

For the warrior cards
in the game.

- So you're the one that
put kevin up to all this, huh?

And you consider yourself
a lawyer?

- Well, i'm hoping to go
into environmental law, so--

- You wouldn't know
a real lawyer

If she walked up
and she bit you.

- Kevin, you and me!
Outside!

- What?

But i didn't--Ow!

- Kevin, that stunt you pulled
at my office today

Was completely out of line!

- I was bringing you lunch.

I was trying to be helpful.

I was trying to show you that
a husband can share the load.

- Oh, you wanna share
the load?

Then deal with this.

I'm supposed to meet
my japanese financers

For dinner tonight,

And since you introduced
yourself as my husband,

Now they want us both
to come celebrate.

- Oh.

Yeah, that's my bad.

- Kevin should be here
any moment.

- Ah.

- Hi. I'm just here--
- Oh, there he is now.

Will you excuse me
just a moment?

- Please.

- Hi.

- Okay, so do what we rehearsed.
- Yes.

- You're only gonna be here
a few minutes,

And then you're
just gonna go, okay?

- Relax.

- Okay.

Mm?
Madam.

- No.
- Okay, no french. Got it.

- No french.
- We up here?

- Ah, please.

- Mr. Fujimura,
this is my...

- husband.
- Kevin.

- Ah.

- Oh, .

- We are most honored
to formally meet

The new husband
of jennifer.

- Ah.

- We congratulate you.

- Oh.
- Please sit down.

Everyone, please.

- Thank you.

I can do it. Okay.
- Oh, okay. Gotcha.

- Can i offer you some wine?
- Uh, yes, please.

- May i ask what kind
of work you do, mr. Kevin?

- Well, uh,
i am currently active

In the recreational services
industry,

Specifically
the golf sector.

And i mean that i think
of my best ideas

On the golf course.

- Oh, how smart.

- Enough about me though, huh?

Um, let's toast
to your new venture.

- Ah.

Excellent.

We are most excited
to move forward.

However, there is
a small complication

That is risen
with the board.

My coworker has informed me

That several
of the zoning permits

Are still outstanding
in this project.

- Uh, if i may--
- Kevin, it's fine.

- It's okay.
I got this.

Um...

let me tell you a little story
about jennifer here.

A couple years back,

Our garbage cans
kept getting knocked over

In the middle of the night
every night.

Did a little investigating.

Turns out we had a big family
of raccoons

That had moved in
underneath our house.

And since it was, like,
thanksgiving weekend,

The animal control guy

Couldn't do
a darn thing about it.

- Where is the waiter?

- We had 20 people
coming over for dinner.

- Okay.

- Jen, here, wouldn't take
no for an answer,

So with just an address book
and a dying cell phone,

Bam!--
In 30 minutes flat,

She had
the deputy mayor himself

Crawling around underneath
our house with a flashlight.

Problem solved, and...

you know,
the point of the story

Is that jennifer here--
There is nothing...

that she can't accomplish
or achieve.

She says she's gonna
get you those permits,

Well, by golly,
she's gonna do it.

I shall relay that
to the board.

- That-That's great!

Wow!

You know, i know we don't
really know each other,

But i think we all have
something in common here.

We all think jennifer here

Is just pretty darn amazing,
right?

Huh? Kanpai! Kanpai!
- Yes, kanpai.

- Kanpai!
- Kanpai.

- Whoo!

Yeah! Get in there!
To jennifer.

- Sally,
i can't believe it.

- Is it horrible?
It's horrible.

Is it terrible?

- No. Kevin actually--
He's being amazing.

He pulled this whole thing off
and he even saved the day.

- That is definitely not
what i thought you'd say.

- I know.
- How long did he stick around?

- Uh, he's still here.
He's at the table.

- Wait, you left kevin alone

At a table with
your most important client?

- And now the musical stylings
of kevin duncan.

- I have to go.
- Yeah, okay, bye.

- This is the captain
of the pinafore.

- Kevin!
- Yeah.

- This is not a karaoke bar.
- Oh, yes, it is.

For the h.M.S. Pinafore,
yes, it is! Right?

- I'm totally gonna lose
my job.

Mr. Fujimura, i am so sorry.
This whole thing--

- I know this song!
That's how i learn english.

- Ooh!

™? i am the captain
of the pinafore ♪

™? and a right good captain too ♪

™? you're very, very good
and be it understood ♪

™? i command
a right good crew ♪

Both: ♪ we're very, very good
and be it understood ♪

™? he commands
a right good crew ♪

- ™? though related to a peer
i can hand, reef, and steer ♪

™? and ship a selvagee ♪

™? i am never known to quail
at the fury of a gale ♪

™? and i'm never,
never sick at sea ♪

- ™? what, never? ™?
- ™? no, never ♪

- ™? what, never? ™?
- ™? well, hardly ever ♪

- ™? he's hardly ever
sick at sea ♪

Both: ♪ then give three cheers
and one cheer more ♪

™? for the hardy captain
of the pinafore ♪

™? then give three cheers
and one cheer more ♪

™? for the captain
of the pinafore ♪

- Yeah!
Fantastic!

Triple threat.
Triple threat.

Right?

- No.
- Yes.

Mr. Fujimura, everybody.

- I mean, who knew
mr. Fujimura could sing?

I know.

He's a triple threat.

He can sing, he can dance.
His origami cranes--

Terrific.

I think
he had a good time.

He said next time
he visits,

He's bringing his wife michiko
and the kids.

I don't know what to say
to you right now.

- Was that a laugh?

- Oh, no,
i'm still very angry at you.

No.

You did good.

It really was
an unforgettable evening, so...

thank you, kev.

- Oh, it's not over yet.

- What do you mean?

What the--Kevin!

All: surprise!

- Behold, the wedding reception
we've never had.

- Yeah!
Whoo-Hoo!

Yeah!

- Yeah.

- I must admit, you throw
a great party for a dead man.

- Thank you.

Mm-Mm.

- Mr. Henderson,
i am so sorry.

Are we being too loud?
I'm so--

- For years,
i've been saying

These two characters
ought to get hitched.

And now you have,
you sly monkeys!

- Thank you, but...no.

- Would you please
try to get kevin

To stop blocking my driveway
with his car?

That way
i won't be over here

Banging on your door
all the time.

- Uh--
- Uh, will do.

- All right.
Par-Tay.

- Move your car.
- I know. I'm sorry.

Sorry about that.

Whoo!
- Mm.

- Jen!

Babe, you here?

- Bryce?

You're back early.

- Yes. You'd know that
if you checked your messages.

- I'm sorry, okay?

Everything has been
extremely crazy.

- Yeah, so i see.

"Congratulations,
newlyweds."

Did kevin finally snap

And send away
for a mail-Order bride?

- N--
- Come here.

- Actually...

turns out jen and i
are married.

Crazy, right?
How was chicago?

- This is--This is a--
A joke, right?

- No! We didn't get married.

This is a big mistake.
It just--It goes way back.

- Way back.

Yeah,
there's history here.

History that you can't even
begin to understand.

- Don't worry, bryce.
- Let me explain.

See, jennifer and i
have what's called

A "common-Law marriage."

- And you've been hiding this
from me?

- No, no.

Kevin drudged up
this whole common law thing

And i had no idea,

And i didn't think
that you would understand.

- You're right, i don't.

- Bryce,
it's just temporary, okay?

I am going to handle
all of this--

This whole thing soon enough.
- Well, you better.

You get rid of this parasite
or our wedding is off.

Oh! And to answer your question,
chicago was great.

- Oh.

- Sally?
- Hey, jen.

Okay, so i've been going over
this crazy common law claim

With everyone
at the law firm,

And it seems like you only have
a couple of options.

One, we can fight this
in court,

And you can spend a lotta time
and a lotta money and maybe win.

But even if we do win,

You're not gonna get
to marry bryce anytime soon.

Two, you can get kevin
to sign a document

Waiving
any common law claim,

Which he won't do
unless he has to,

And doesn't have to
unless you make him.

- Look.

As great of a guy as kevin is,
he's always been a quitter.

If you can make
kevin's life miserable

For just a few hours,

Show him what it means
to be a real husband,

I think he'll crack
and sign anything.

- Oh, you think?
I don't know.

- It'll take a day,
a week tops.

- I don't know.

- Honey,
this is the only option.

In the end,
kevin'll thank you,

But you absolutely
cannot go soft.

Trust me.
Kevin folds every time.

- I hope so.

- Okay,
i'll talk to you later.

- Okay, bye.

- Ow!
- Good morning, sweetie pie.

Since you are my husband,

Today you get to help me
do some husband-Y things.

- Can we revisit this in,
like, four to six hours?

- No, i'm sorry.
We have a household to run.

- I--No.

Okay.

- These are the bills.

This is a mortgage
we need to refinance

To get better interest rates.

These are some brochures

So you can call
the various agents

To evaluate
their re-Fi offer.

These are charts
for life insurance.

- And here's a warranty
for the broken dishwasher.

It may have expired.

But you can handle all that,
right, honey?

- Can i phone in
a lifeline, please?

Hey, honey.

Oh, so i just got done
mowing the lawn,

Balancing the checkbook,
paying our bills,

And i took it upon myself

To set up a sep-Ira for us.

- Okay, great.

Call the shop and see
when my car is gonna be ready.

Then drop off
the dry-Cleaning.

Then go to the neighborhood
association meeting.

They need help
with the bake sale.

And there's
a few other things on here,

But don't worry.

I made an hourly schedule
for you.

- Jen...

do you want a husband,
a chauffeur,

Or a personal assistant?

- Yes.

So you ready to throw in
the towel?

Oh, actually...

i'm ready to step up
my game.

- So how are things
with kevin?

- He spent all last night
working on the gazebo.

- Wow.

That doesn't sound at all
like kevin.

- I know.
I thought the same thing.

- I don't know,
you need to, like,

Raise the stakes
or something.

- What?
What's that?

- Oh, kevin?

Sally and i have
a few errands to run

And she's got the kids.

You wouldn't mind babysitting
for us, would you?

- Actually,
i was gonna meet the guys,

Shoot some hoops,
you know?

- Oh.

- Oh, that's too bad.
- Yeah.

- I mean, a husband has to have
natural fathering instincts.

- It's so important.
- Very important.

- It's, like,
the most important.

- The most important.

- Mm-Hmm.
- Mm.

Hmm.

I'm just gonna--Just gonna
take this away from you.

Let go.
Let go, let go, let go.

Let go!

Sally says you're what happens
if i don't do well in school.

- Oh, yeah?

Du-Doy!

- Huh? Huh?

You wanna fight dirty, huh?

- ™? don't follow me,
i could be wrong ♪

™? it's in the air,
soon i'll be gone ♪

™? stuck here inside
these four stone walls ♪

™? i'm leaving now
if i got to crawl ♪

™? i don't care what you do,
i don't care what you say ♪

- With the nose on!
- ™? come friday night ♪

™? i'm miles away ♪

- Yeah! Come on!
Hit it again! Hyah!

- Ya!
- Yeah!

Now watch, listen,
and learn, huh?

- ™? i'm gonna break out
tonight ♪

™? you thought you'd get to me,
putting on the freeze ♪

™? you were mistaken ♪

™? i'm not down on my knees ♪

- Do you think
they killed him?

- I feel kinda bad,
but i'm also morbidly curious.

- Well, if there's one thing
those kids can do

It is crush
someone's spirit.

- Thank you.
Thank you.

Thanks, you guys are too kind.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you.

- Bryce, sweetheart,

Everything is moving ahead
just fine.

This kevin problem
will be solved shortly.

- Well, i hope so.

The von hoffman's asked us
to their anniversary reception

This weekend at the club,

And when they said
"bring your fiancee,"

It was all i could do
not to blurt out,

"She married someone else."

- I'm sorry, honey.

- Listen, babe, can we
just talk about this later?

I'm really busy right now.

All right, bye.

- Bye.

- Kev.

- Hey.

- You missed
another poker night.

- Yeah.

- Not to mention
basketball today.

- I know.
I'm--I'm sorry, man.

- What's happened to you?

You never wanna
hang out anymore.

- I got all these
responsibilities now, right?

I got the bills.
I got the mortgage.

I got the kids.
- Kids?

Ha, that was quick.

I think you're letting this
get to your head.

Why are you still at this?

- 'Cause i don't wanna
let her down.

- You mean you don't want her
to marry bryce.

- Didn't i say that?

- No.

- You know,
i just had this crazy idea.

With all this responsibility
flying around,

Maybe i should
put away childish things

And go back to school.

I only need
six more credits, right?

- There you go.

- I have been
a little off lately, huh?

Fell off the horse a bit.

- You didn't just fall off.

That horse knocked you down,
stepped on your head,

And is off
eating dandelions.

- How's it going with kevin?
- Kevin!

Ha!

Kevin...has lost weight...

he gets up at 5:00 a.M.
To do his chores.

The kevin i know

Would've never been able
to take all that.

- Hang in there.
He's gonna crack soon.

He's got to.

- Oh, it's kevin.

He's off work
and my chauffer for the day.

What?

- Are you talking to me now?

- No, i'm still mad at you.

But do you think
i look like a giant snowman?

You look, um...

beautiful.

- Thanks.

- Um...

well...

i'll be in the car,
milady.

- You know, you'll be
in a men's shelter soon enough.

- Napoleon!

Napoleon!

- Hey, you.

Hi, sweetie.
- Hi!

- Looks like
he hasn't slept in days.

- Good work, hon.

You finally tightened
the screws.

- After everything
that's happened, i--

I can't believe
you still wanna marry me.

- Sweetheart,
of course i do.

- I'm sorry. I really am.
About everything.

- Oh, i almost forgot.
I got you a little something.

- Bryce!

It's beautiful.
Thank you.

- You can wear it tonight
at the von hoffman's

Anniversary party.

Mrs. Von hoffman
is head of my firm

And she adores you.

I mean, can you blame her
for wanting me to show you off?

I got some work to finish up,
and i will see you...

tonight at the party.
- Okay.

- Yeah, this is kevin.

Wha--Are you serious?

Yeah! Yeah,
that's incredible. Yeah.

Okay!

Yeah, i'll--
I'll see you there.

Great.

Bye.

All right.

- Kevin!

Kevin!

Kevin?
Kevin?

- Jen, guess what.

You remember
that new york investor

That i was caddying for
last month,

Mr. Davidson?

Well, he's passing through town.
He wants to meet!

His kid loved my game idea!

This is a once-In-Lifetime
opportunity.

- Kevin, napoleon is sick
and he's not responding!

- What?

Napoleon? What's wrong?

- He was throwing up
and now he's just laying there.

I tried calling the vet,
but all i got was their service.

That's bryce.

- Hey, are you okay?

What's wrong?

- Hi! You got my message.

- Yeah, what's the verdict?

- He's still sick.

He's just--
He's laying there.

I think we need to take him
to the vet.

- Jen, i feel terrible
about it,

But i'm trapped
between meetings all day.

I'm sure he'll be fine.

Listen, babe, i gotta run,

But don't be
so worried about it.

He's just a dog, jen.

- We gotta get him
to the vet.

- But your investor,
your big opportunity.

- Did i say that was today?
It's tomorrow, tomorrow.

- Kevin,
is he gonna be okay?

- Napoleon had quite
an intestinal blockage,

But...

he's gonna be fine.

- Ooh-Wee.

- Oh, thank goodness.

That's one of bryce's
golf balls.

- I'm really sorry
you missed

Your big meeting
with mr. Davidson.

- No, no--I'll have
more opportunities, you know?

We only have one napoleon.

- Thanks, kev.

- Hey, hey.
Napoleon's gonna be fine.

- No, i know, i just got really
worried about the while thing.

Is my makeup--
Does it look okay?

- Relax.

You look amazing.

- And you need
to get some rest, kevin.

You look exhausted.

- Get outta here
and go have fun with bryce.

- Okay.

Okay.

- A husband's there
when you need him.

- Excuse me.

You're late.
- I know. I'm sorry, okay?

Napoleon. We took him.
He got sick.

And we had to go to the vet.
- Fill me in later.

- Are you angry?
- I'm not angry!

You're just
over an hour late.

- Bryce, i told you,
napoleon. He got--

- I know, but we're at an ultra
critical time right now.

The board meeting
is next month, jen,

And when they announce partner,
i'd like it to be me.

- Okay.

I'm sorry.

I just, um--I've had a lot
on my mind lately.

- She's gonna need her purse.

- Bryce.

And the lovely jennifer.

- It's nice to see you again,
mrs. Von hoffman.

- I understand congratulations
are in order.

There's a wedding coming up,
isn't there?

- Yes, it is.
- Mm-Hmm.

Jennifer, i understand
you work for monroy and klein.

- Yes, i work--

- Yes, she heads up
city planning.

- Does she?

- Yes.

- You must be very talented.

- Thank you.

- Bryce,
you're a lucky man.

- Let me refresh that
for you.

- Yes, and would you please
ask them to uncork

A decent bottle this time?

- Absolutely.

- So you're getting married.

Lucky girl.

You've got your whole life
ahead of you.

- Yes, me and bryce,

Uh, we're really excited
about the whole thing.

- I wish you the best,

And if bryce
steps out of line...

you let me know.

- Yes, i will.

- Ladies.

- Thank you.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.

- It was lovely
talking with you.

- Likewise.

- Did you have a nice talk?
Did she say anything about me?

- No, not really.

- Jenkins.

- I'll be a sec.

- I'll have another one,
please.

- Hey, jen.

- Kev!
- Hi.

- What are you doing here?
- You forgot your purse.

- Thank you.

- What are you doing here?

- Jennifer forgot her purse,
but don't worry,

I'm leaving.

You know what?
- Kev, please.

- I gotta say something.

Jennifer here
is a diamond.

And you're treating her
like a rhinestone.

- Jennifer, get rid of him,
please.

- Don't talk to her
that way.

Hey, kev.
- Mm-Hmm.

- Why don't we
continue this inside?

- Sure, bry.

- I've had just about enough
of you and all of your antics

And everything that--
- Yeah, well, that's funny,

'Cause i've been sick
of you too.

- Now, stop, you guys.
This is ridiculous.

- Yeah, it is ridiculous

The way this nutjob's
turned our life upside down.

- Well, at least
i'm not a two-Faced creep.

- That's it!
- Bryce, no!

- Oh, he sucker punched me!

- Bryce!

- You know what?
You win.

I mean, this is--

Aah!

- Bryce, stop!
- Hey, break it up!

- Kevin!
- Break it up!

- Oh, bryce!
- Stay back!

- I--He hit me.

- Bryce, are you okay?

- Is he dead?

- Kevin.

- Hey.

Yeah, about how things
went down, um...

i'm sorry.

- Kev.

Come here.

- Ooh. Ah. Ooh.
Okay, okay.

- Well,
you're enjoying this.

- Oh, so what if i am?

- Come on.

We've had fun
over the years, right?

You're my best friend, jen.

- Kev...

why put yourself through
all of this?

- 'Cause you're worth it.

And...

i think i'm falling
in love with you.

- Kevin.

- And i don't--
I don't know what to do.

- You've been my best friend
since we were six.

- But bryce, he's the one
that i'm supposed to marry.

Good night, kevin.

- Jen.

I'll sign whatever you want
in the morning.

- All right,
so just sign here

And then initial down there.

You see, jeremy, this is called
signing a document.

It's what real lawyers do
to actually help their clients.

We do it with a pen.

And then finally,
this last one.

And that's it.

Congratulations.

You are both
officially not married,

Not that you ever actually were
in the first place.

Okay.

- So that's it then.

- I guess so.

- Well...

there's also the little matter
of property to be returned.

Ring.

- Oh.

- Jen?

I wish you and bryce

All the luck
in the world.

- You too.

- Jennifer,

Sorry for losing it
the other day.

You forgive me?

- Well, let's just say
it was less than an optimal time

For the both of us.

- You know, i had time
to think about priorities...

and i realized
how much you mean to me.

Well, it's done.

Signed, sealed, delivered.

And now we can finally
focus on our wedding.

- What--What do you
keep doing?

- It's just weird,

Not having kevin's
big, ugly ring on my finger.

- Hm.

- But your ring
is the only ring

That i need.

- And that's what
i like to hear.

- Oh.

- Come on.

- ™? in case
you didn't notice ♪

- Single again, man,
drink up.

Those girls over there
are checking us out.

Yeah.

You guys go talk to 'em.

- No, no, no.
Hey, look.

You just gotta regroup.

You gotta get
back in the game.

- Yeah, kev,
get out of this funk.

- I'm contemplating
my next move.

- You still serious
about going back to school?

- Yeah, i wanna
try something new.

I just--

Ah, man, my notebook.

- What?

- It's my big book
of my best game ideas.

I left it at jennifer's.

- Well, so go get it.

- I'm not exactly
welcome there anymore.

- Hm.

- Mm.

- I don't suppose
maybe you could--

- Sure.
I'll swing by and get it.

- Thank you.

- And you--And you talked
to the bartenders?

- Mm-Hmm. Yeah.
I made sure

All the no-Name brands
were banned from the bar.

And the von hoffmans,
they rsvp'd.

- Perfect.

- It's gonna be
the wedding reception

To end all
wedding receptions.

Though, honey?

Honey?
- Hm?

- I don't really know
a lot of the names on this list.

- Uh, partners at the firm,
just clients.

Think of 'em
as aunts and uncles

You haven't met yet.

- Okay.

Well, if you want
them there,

Then, yeah,
that's good for me.

- Jen, you're amazing.

- Mm. I just want it
to be all perfect.

So do you wanna
come inside?

We can relax.
We can watch a movie.

- Ah, i would love to,
sweetheart, but i'm crazed.

Johnson just made a play
for the morewood tech account.

I gotta go, okay?

- Okay.

- I love you.

Bye.

Love you.

- Kevin?

I'm h-Home.

Hey, napoleon.

It's just you and me now.

Change your mind
about the movie?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Sorry,
i thought you were bryce.

- Nope, just me.

- Come on in.

- Thanks.

So, kevin forgot
his idea book.

- Oh.

I know exactly
where that is.

I wouldn't want
kevin to lose that.

That would be like da vinci
losing his sketches.

- Here it is.

Hey, it's a menu
from waffle habit.

Kevin and i practically
lived there during college.

- They had
the best belgian waffles.

Do you know they closed down
last year?

- Yeah.

Miss that place.

What is it that kevin--

Used to always say?

He would say,

"Don't rush through life.

Stop and--"
Both: "smell the waffles."

We had some great times
together, him and i.

- I mean,
that's my brother, right?

- The guy who saved
your slinky.

Good night, jen.

- Good night.

- Can you believe it?

The day before your wedding.

- We made it through
this mess.

And now here we are
at the rehearsal.

- Ugh, finally.
Both: cheers.

- You look stunning.

- Mm. Thanks.
- Hey.

Babe?
- Oh, yeah?

- Did you see
the seating chart

For the reception tomorrow?
- Mm-Hmm.

- The hatchers and daltons
are seated at the same table.

- Is that a problem?

- Uh, jen, i told you.

They can't
sit near each other.

Hatcher had dalton
tossed off his board.

- Oh, i thought
it was peterson.

Oh, okay.

Then we'll just move them
to table two.

- Well, table two
has the chens,

Hatcher's
biggest competitor.

Didn't you double-Check this
with my office?

- Honey,
i-I didn't have time.

I had the dress fitting
and then,

We had trouble with the flowers,
that whole problem--

- It's okay.
I'll patch it up with hatcher

When i see him in chicago.

- You're going
to chicago again?

- Yeah, i've got to.

It'll just be
a couple days next week.

Jen, we're talking
partnership here.

- Our partnership
or your partnership, bryce?

- You know
that isn't fair.

- I'm sorry, okay? I just--
- No, look.

You got a lot
on your plate.

I'll handle
the seating chart.

- Jennifer, dear?

If you're ready,
it's time for the rehearsal.

Hm?

- Hey, he's just jittery,
okay?

- Isn't the bride supposed
to be the jittery one?

- So, we'll just
do a quick run-Through

And then you can
go enjoy the dinner.

You two aren't, uh,
nervous, i hope?

- Walk in the park,
right, honey?

- Well, then let's
get started.

Jennifer, i trust
the rings are ready.

- Yeah,

But it might
weigh her arm down.

Like her engagement ring?

Biggest rock
at the jewelers.

- Jewelers?

Bryce, i thought you said
this engagement ring was--

Was your grandmother's.

- What? I--

- Bryce, you said it.

This engagement ring?

You said that
your grandfather

Carried it across
two continents,

And he would've gone further
for the woman that he loved.

You said that to me.

I know you said that to me.
- Honey.

I took a look
at my grandmother's ring

And the diamonds were
just chintzy little chips.

You deserve something
more impressive.

- As impressive
as the story you told?

- Okay, honey,
can we not do this right now?

- So, if you're both ready,

We'll just do
a brief run-Through

Of how things
will go tomorrow.

Hm?

Everything okay?

- Jennifer?

- Like the good book says,

Someone with a merry heart
does good like medicine.

Know anyone like that?

- Actually, i do.

- Hey, thank you very much.

Hey, what's going on?
- Hello, bryce.

- Thank you for coming.
Pleasure.

And you know jennifer?

Exactly. Of course.

- That's right, cheers.

- Bryce,
who are all these people?

I feel like i don't
even know any of them.

- Just partners at the firm

Who can't make
the wedding tomorrow.

It's fine.

And henri really outdid himself
on the menu.

It's gonna be amazing.

- Bryce?

- Hm?

- What's my favorite color?

- What?

- What is my favorite color?

- All right, bryce!

- Ugh, i-I don't know.
Blue?

No, yellow.

What does it matter?

- For your information,
it's green.

- Hey, can we not
do this right now?

- I'm sorry.

- For what?

- Jennifer,
what are you doing?

- Something
i should've done ages ago.

Third and main, please.

Jeremy, is kevin here?

I need to find him.

- Uh, he left.

He's going back to school.
- Where is he?

- He's at the bus station.

Jen?

Jen, wait!

- Kevin!

No.

Jen?

- What are you
doing here?

- I-I heard you
were going away to school.

- Yeah, i, uh,

Thought i might
finish my degree.

- Without saying
good-Bye to me?

- That's a local bus.

I'm going to college
downtown.

Of course.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Kevin, um...

i am so sorry.

I'm sorry for putting you
through the wringer,

Even though you did
deserve it sometimes.

- I'm sorry too, i--

- But, even when i was--

I was trying to make
you miserable this whole time,

You just kept on
making me happy.

- So--

So what are you--
What are you saying?

- I'm saying...

this.

- Mmm. Mm-Hmm.

- I love you.

- Will you marry me?

- Probably.
- Oh.

"Probably."

- Thank you.
I'll see you guys soon.

Thank you for coming.

- Wow.

You look great.

- I do, don't i?

- Mm-Hmm.

- Hey!

- Mr. D, you made it.

- I know you're not
my caddy anymore...

- well--
- But if i'm going

To invest in someone's idea,

I darn well better
be invited to the wedding.

- I wanna see
that game of yours

In the stores by christmas.

- Okay.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you so much.

- I cannot believe that
you of all people

Are actually succeeding
at something.

It's infuriating.

Congratulations.
- Thank you.

You guys
are doing all right.

- Yeah, since we decided
to go into practice together,

Business is up.

Admit it.
- I admit it.

With my
courtroom experience...

- and my environmental
street cred.

- Oh, right.

- Our billable hours
are up 12%--

As long as your clients don't
try to pay in banana bread.

- Don't mock the clients.

They're very committed
people.

- Yeah, well,
i've got car payments.

Good luck.

- Well.
- Well.

The first seven years, kev,
they were just practice.

- Right.

- The next seven...

- mm-Hmm.

- We'll get it right.

- Yeah.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

- I now pronounce you
man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

- Thank you.