The Secret of the Ice Cave (1989) - full transcript
A group of treasure-seekers embark on a expedition into high adventure as they race to discover what's really located in the mysterious ice cave.
♪
Uh, not again.
Your father will see you now.
Your son, Mr. Geiger.
Good to see you, Alex.
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
How's school?
It's still summer vacation,
Mr. Geiger.
Please, Alex,
I've asked you to call me Dad.
My dad is dead.
Well, since your mother
and I are engaged,
don't you think it would
be nice to start treating
each other like family?
Look, Mr. Geiger,
I know what a busy man
you are, and everything,
so why don't we just cut
to the chase, huh?
About our trip
to South America,
I'm afraid, it has to be
canceled.
What? Canceled? I haven't even
seen my mom in almost a year.
It seems you mother
is on the brink of making...
BOTH:
Major scientific discovery.
And it'll be a bad time
to visit her, right?
You know how important
your mother's research
is to the medical world.
Besides, I have an emergency
stockholders meeting.
It's just not possible.
How about an advance
on my allowance?
Alex,
this is the third time
you've asked for an advance
on your weekly stipend.
Where does all the money go?
I bought a notebook
and some gum, that
was a whole five bucks.
Luxury items?
If you hadn't spent
all your money on
that computer,
maybe you won't be so broke,
all the time.
I won this in the
Junior National
Math Competition.
You could have
cashed out on it.
Look,
I don't want to sound
like a hard ass
but your mother expects me
to be responsible for you,
fiscally responsible.
A young man needs to learn
the value of a hard earned
dollar, and how to spend it.
No hard feelings?
No.
I understand.
You're a man. I'm just a boy.
There's still a lot I need
to learn from you.
Right? Dad?
I'm touched, Alex.
[TYPING]
[READING] "Hola. Que tal?
Como se llama?"
[SIGHS]
Why didn't I take French?
Fantastic!
You got one, right?
-Yes. Yes, and it just
passed the first test.
-Let's see it.
It chose to hide in the tree.
And since spiders
are supposedly arboreal,
there is a good chance
that you theory is correct.
The crimson toed tarantula
may actually exist.
That is great.
So when do you think you can
have a positive ID?
I have no idea
because this one is a male.
Only the female
carries the poison sac
and the coloration.
Where she is, nobody knows.
[HUMMING]
-TALBOT: Get it in there.
-No. No.
-Don't lose it now.
-Don't, don't.
Oh, imagine...
A red-toed
tarantula causing
instantaneously...
Sounds like a Grimm fairytale.
It'll be in reality,
soon enough.
[HUMMING]
You know, I predict,
that this research project
of yours will end up
being the greatest
pharmaceutical discovery
since Aluminum Chlorohydrate.
Well, let's hope that your
chronic optimism
is contagious.
Uh-uh! Don't confuse
optimism as greed.
I mean, that spider venom
might be the first natural
cure for insomnia.
-You want me to go right back
out there, don't you?
-Aye.
It only makes sense, I mean,
if you're this close.
This is your lucky day,
because I want to go
back out there.
-I'm going.
-[CHUCKLING] Atta girl.
You know, this is
a great jacket.
-It's so nice...
-Thank you. My son gave it
to me for our anniversary.
You're not married yet.
-Through my husband
himself, my late husband.
-Oh.
Well...
I'm sorry your visitors
won't be coming.
Well, it's okay.
Looks like everybody's got
too much work to do.
[HUMMING]
Okay.
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
[SIGHS]
-Business trip?
-Oh, Lord, no, I'm
visiting my daughter.
She goes to college
in Santiago.
I wouldn't miss her birthday
for the world.
My birthday was last week.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
This plane goes
where you want.
There comes the plane,
American pilotowill help you.
No problem.
ALEX: Great.
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
Oh, hey, excuse me,
bud, if your plane
is going back
to Puyehue, I'd like to get
a ride with you, man.
Well, I have business
to attend to, so bug out.
Sir, you don't understand,
my mother...
Listen, you little turd,
I said, "Bug out!"
What a jerk.
Here's what you asked for.
Mmm-hmm. And?
Thanks, Frank.
-I want the map.
-What map, Frank?
You crazy son of a bitch.
You stole our property.
You're lucky to be
getting out of this alive.
Now, hand it over.
Now.
Sure thing, Frank.
What's this shit?
It's the map, Frank.
A friend of mine put it
on disk.
You expect us to buy
something I can't see?
Oh, you're biting
my ear, Frank.
Look, I don't expect anything
from him.
But even if it was
on that map... Ow!
How did you know it was real
or not, I mean...
Either way you got to
trust me.
If you're playing with us,
you're dead.
Plain and simple.
Oh, no. Oh, I'm not dumb
enough to cross a genius
like you, Frank.
A man couldn't be that stupid.
Okay, we got a deal.
To your health.
To my health, Frank.
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
You know, I've been wondering
for the last couple of hours,
you know, saying to myself,
Billy Wright,
William Zane Wright.
What is that kid doing
at the back of your brand
new jet?
Or is he a part of the new
turbo option package.
[LAUGHS]
I don't know. Two hours
and I haven't figured it
out yet.
Hi.
Hey, wait,
you're not the pilot.
Sorry, sorry, who is you?
No, that other guy. The jerk?
Oh! That guy sold me
the plane. [LAUGHS]
Don't tell me we're not going
to Puyehue.
Buddy boy, that is the last
place on this sweet earth
that we are bound for.
This is a non-stop flight
for Miami.
Well, I got to get
out of here.
Well, we'll be passing
that place in a couple
of minutes.
Be my guest.
[BILLY CHOKING]
Do you need any medication?
[LAUGHING] Not for this round.
I've been poisoned.
[LAUGHS] Poisoned.
By him, Frank Hagen,
the stupidest man in
South America.
The embarrassment. [LAUGHING]
ALEX: Fly!
Tell me what to do.
-ALEX: Don't do this.
-Please excuse me.
ALEX: Come on,
you got to wake up.
BILLY: Nicely done.
-They got shit to pay for.
-ALEX: You have to fly
your plane.
BILLY: Shit!
Shut up and think.
You got balls, kid.
And you got brains.
Here. I'm giving you
the my everything, boy
I'm only...
I've put it in clues, see,
in case, they came after me.
In case there isn't time
to get away.
So you got some things
to figure out, boy.
But if you're a rocket
scientist
then you can find
the blue rocks,
millions and millions
of dollars.
And you'll be rich.
Filthy rich.
ALEX: Wake up!
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
ALEX: Wake up!
-Wake up!
-Blue rocks.
Shiny...
Sparkling, like
crystals in the sea.
Find them...
...and you'll find
$15 million.
Altitude, 55 feet.
Speed divided by distance
traveled, take the inverse...
Come on, when do I jump?
[READING]
You're the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
So beautiful.
Come on, boy.
Come, boy. Walk it off. Vamos.
Hola.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
-Who's that?
-Just another
strung out hippie.
Hey, wait a second.
Uh, give him another empty hut
for the night.
He could stay until morning.
Uh, excuse me, sir.
-My name is Alex Ostrow...
-Dr. Talbot, nice to
meet you, kid.
Yeah, but... Ow! [GROANS]
What's the matter kid,
sick or something?
-Take him to medical.
-Okay, good idea.
Come on, boy.
-What happened to Billy?
-What?
Are you the Miami contact?
I don't know what you're
talking about.
I... I want to find my mom,
Dr. Valerie Ostrow.
She's a very important
scientist around here,
so if you want to keep
your job, you better get
out of my way.
-Hey, what are you doing?
-What happened to him?
-Leave my stuff alone.
-Where's Billy?
-I don't know
who you're talking about.
-Don't mess with me, gringo.
Billy's my partner.
I want to know what
happened to him.
Billy's dead.
Some guy named,
Frank Hagen, poisoned him.
Look, I don't
even know how I got here.
I just want to find my mom.
She's in the field.
She won't be back for days.
And if I were you,
I'd disappear, too.
Don't trust anyone.
Not if you plan
on staying alive.
Pop will be going home soon,
poopsie-whoopsie.
Blah-blah-blah.
Oh, yes...
Would you mind giving it
to me already, we've got
to get our work done.
-Not that, the disk. Come on.
-Oh.
You just saved the
god damn plan.
I suppose I can use the, uh...
Hello, Dr. Talbot,
my name is Laticia.
Would you like to kiss me?
[MOANING]
Oh, Christ.
Look at that.
Oh, you're a great kisser.
Would you like to take off
my bra?
Billy was a good kid, boss.
Everything was a game
to him, you know.
Maybe the map...
Drop my little skirt.
You're really getting me
so hot, tough guy.
Please rip it off.
You think this is funny?
LATICIA: Come on. Come on.
Her bazookas might be
two mountains
and her belly button
might mean some little lake.
Her... [SNICKERING]
LATICIA: Come on, Doctor.
You think this is funny?
I screwed you boys, isn't that good?[LAUGHS]
Billy?
I don't get it, Frank.
How could this happen, huh?
I don't understand it.
BILLY: The blue rocks.
Sparkling, glittering.
Find them.
This god damn ridiculous
animal.
-We wouldn't be
able to stop that mess.
-Don't talk shit about Red!
TALBOT: Red, Schmed,
the damn dog doesn't
even know who you are.
Taking a vacation
a little early, aren't you,
Santos?
[GRUNTS]
[BEEPING]
BILLY: Hello, my friend. This is my present for you.
If you want to play the game, be smart.
Follow the map step by step.
At the end of the game,
you'll find the treasure,
$15 million.
And you'll be rich.
Filthy rich.
And don't forget,
you have to be a rocket
scientist.
TALBOT: Wash your hands.
I hate it when it splashes
on my shirt.
Ew, you sick thing.
MonsieurGei?
Come in.
Come in, MonsieurGei.
Come in, MonsieurGei.
MonsieurGei, come in.
This is Victor,
calling MonsieurGei.
MonsieurGei?
Can you hear me?
What the...
[BEEPING]
[PRINTER WHIRS]
Hey, stop what you're doing.
He cut the power.
The program is damaged.
TALBOT: I got him.
ALEX: Hey, wait, let...
Let go of me.
TALBOT: Hold him!
FRANK: Yeah...
-Easy, boy.
-TALBOT: Hold him down!
FRANK: Hold on.
TALBOT: He's got the watch.
[ALEX YELLING]
???
TALBOT: took my Rolex.
[STARTS ENGINE]
Damn it!
Start. Start.
Why won't you start?
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
Oh, come on.
Forget it.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
[YELLING]
[SCREAMS]
-[BELLS JINGLING]
-[SHEEP BLEATING]
Please, don't run away.
Me, not God, fall from sky.
-Me, Alex, American teenager.
-What? What?
What do you want?
You scared off all my sheep.
You speak English.
Well, you're the one
who saved my life, aren't you?
Seems I'm always in the wrong
place, at the wrong time.
Well, I...
I still want to thank you,
very much.
My name is Alex.
Thank you, very much.
What are you doing here,
anyway?
Isn't there some other place
you can hurt yourself?
Well, my mother is a scientist
at chemical research
facility...
Your mother's the spider
woman?
Wait, she's not exactly
Sonia Braga or anything
but anyway why...
That still doesn't explain
what you're doing in the
middle of the jungle
for the second time
in two days.
My mother's real busy,
that's all.
So I thought I'd do
some sightseeing on my own.
Say, do you know where
the Choshuenco Volcano is?
They say it's quite beautiful
this time of year.
I know where
the Choshuenco is.
I know every inch
of this area.
Hey. Hey, give me my map back.
El Tatio Geyser, the Volcano,
the Torrio swamps?
This doesn't look like "Chile
in $10 a day."
What is this, anyway?
What are you up to?
It's just my map.
Give it back.
Not if you're going
to keep lying.
Okay. Okay. It's...
it's a treasure map.
I'm telling you the truth.
It leads to something
called the blue rocks.
What do you know
about the blue rocks?
Well, if you start acting
like a human being
and give me my map back,
I might tell you.
And I might even invite you
to join me on a quest of
mythological proportions.
-You can invite me
on the way there.
-Where?
To see the wise man
at the village.
-Oh, hi, honey.
Who's your friend?
-Hi, Daddy.
Alex, this is my father,
Manny Wise.
-Hi.
-Hello, sir.
What's going down Mr. Brown?
Alex is the spider
woman's offspring.
Oh, he... Oh, really? Wow.
She buys all her supplies
from us.
And for an imperialist,
working for an exploited
multinational corporation,
you know, she's fairly groovy.
Why don't we go inside
and talk?
Well, I have to finish these
baskets and I have to
clean up, obviously.
Alex wants to hear
some of your stories.
Daddy knows everything there
is to know, about the history
of this region.
Well, I don't know about that.
I know a few things.
But, uh... Oh, why not?
Come on in.
-Uh, where've you been
all morning, honey?
-Herding sheep.
Yeah, and you picked up
a stray here, called Alex.
-Well, where are
you from, Alex?
-LA.
LA? Go away, LA!
I couldn't stand LA.
The conquistador of Chile,
Francisco de Valdivia
left South America
in the end
of the 16th century.
Spanish soldiers discovered
the hidden Inca city
of Talauaktan.
And they stormed the mountain
fortress and they slaughtered
10,000 Indians.
What they were after
is only legend
but the story is that they had
discovered the sacred chest
in the king's chambers,
containing the most precious
and rare jewels on earth.
Blue diamonds.
Thousands of them.
All shimmering.
The icy color of a glacier.
All the great Inca heroes
are the ones who tracked
the soldiers down and
killed them.
But the blue diamonds
were not found.
They remain lost
till this day.
They're supposed to be
hidden somewhere to the
north of here.
It's just a legend,
as legends go.
But every year, teams of
grave robbers come here
to dig up and destroy
in their selfish search
for useless riches.
You know some pretty
wild stories, Mr. Wise.
History of the world
is a wild story, young man.
When did you say your mom
is picking you up?
Uh, she's so busy in the field
right now,
she hardly even knows
I'm around.
So I thought Ona might...
Alex, would you mind
waiting outside for a second?
Why?
I just need a minute
to talk to my father
into letting me go.
-You'll go? That's great.
-What's great, kids?
Alex and I were thinking
of going on a camping trip
for a couple of days.
You better leave.
Daddy?
My plane.
Who'll take care of the sheep?
They'll need shearing soon.
Not for another month.
It's only for a day or two.
Or three or four.
I can't afford to let
you go that long.
Daddy, why don't you say
what you're thinking?
-That's exactly
what I'm doing.
-No, you aren't.
There's nothing to
worry about. Believe me.
I'm not worried.
I... I know you can
take care of yourself.
I have complete confidence
in you.
-Then I can go?
-Absolutely not.
It's not you
I'm worried about.
Maybe if you hadn't stayed
celibate since mom had died,
you'd stop seeing sex
everywhere.
When was the last time
you even kissed a girl?
Oh, that's none
of your business.
I guess all that talk
about women's rights
was just talk.
At heart, you're really
just one big conservative.
Don't you swear at me.
And don't try to make me sound
like a hypocrite in order to
get your own way.
Does that mean I get
my own way?
I want to know exactly
where you're going.
-All right?
-Okay.
You take good care
of my Ona.
Now, you're positive
that no one else knows
about this map?
What do I look like,
a bullshitter?
TALBOT: No. No, no.
Absolutely no problem,
MonsieurGei.
I'm just cleaning up
a few loose ends, that's all.
I couldn't find the kid.
I've been looking all over
and I couldn't find him
anywhere.
GEI: I hope you speak
the truth, Victor?
For your sake, for the sake of your children.
-You should be aware
of that at least by now.
-TALBOT: Right.
Like I said, the pickup
will be ready and waiting
for you, on Thursday.
Trust me.
-I told you the
little bird got away.
-It's Gei.
GEI: Trust is for the weak
and a new bride.
I have buyers lined up
across the globe,
in a bidding war,
over these goods.
So, if my valuables
are not there,
I will track you down
and kill you.
Your choice is a simple one, Victor.
Die poor
or live rich like God.
We've got three days.
Yeah. Well, it may
take three years.
That kid really makes me mad.
He's like a pro, a real pro.
He could be any damn where.
Yeah, he could be.
But soon enough... [CHUCKLES]
ONA: This is the crater
of the Choshuenco Volcano.
We have to find the skull,
buried beneath the wooden
cross.
That's what the map says.
Look.
ALEX: Ah! Uh...
Something is inside.
Ooh, a scorpion.
Put the scorpion onto the map
at exactly this spot.
The length of the scorpion's
body will reach from here
to only one other landmark.
You'll find what you're
looking for, there.
That must be
where the treasure is.
All we have to do
is kill that scorpion and lay
it on the map, right there.
No, the animal is sacred.
[LAUGHS]
I'm not going to let
a scorpion come between
us and the treasure.
All you Americans care about
is money.
-What about your 50% interest?
-I'm giving it to the Indians.
-Uh, you're kidding?
-No, I'm not, no one
needs that much money.
Try living in LA.
All right, okay,
I got another idea.
That must be it.
Agua Dulce,
the town of sweet water.
[ALEX CHUCKLES]
You see, killing's not
the only solution.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
TALBOT: On the ground.
Face down.
Move it! Come on!
Move it.
You, too, little girl.
Oh, I know this one.
She's the hippie's bastard,
the help maid.
[ONA SCREAMS]
Come on, save it.
We've got a lot of
work to do.
All right, give us the map
and we promise not to hurt
you too much.
Give us the map.
And we promise not to
hurt you too much.
FRANK: Come on, where is it?
TALBOT:
You don't have all day.
Give us the map.
FRANK: Come on, where is it?
Where is it?
TALBOT:
We promise not to hurt you.
FRANK:
Give it here, you bastard.
-TALBOT: Come on, save it.
We've got a lot of work to do.
-Oh, my god, look at that.
Shut up, dink.
ALEX: But that bag pack
is possessed.
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
Catch it, Frank!
[GUNSHOTS]
-Go get the horses.
I'll hold them off.
-Okay.
[HORN HONKING]
They fooled us, damn it!
They fooled us! [GRUNTING]
Ow!
-What the hell was that for?
-No one else knows
about the map, huh?
-Hey! I'm really pissed off.
-Go! Go!
-Go!
-I'm gonna kill you,
you bastard!
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
[GRUNTS] Ah!
-Victor? Victor. Damn it!
-Valerie, what are you
doing here?
-What?
-What happened to your face?
-Oh, I was just doing a little
field work, that's all.
-Oh.
And my truck was stolen.
Can you give Frank and me
a ride back to the camp?
-Yes, but what happened?
-I'll tell you in the car,
okay?
I got to get out of here.
Well, let's just get
some supplies...
Why don't you do it
on the way back? Okay?
Or maybe I should.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Manny?
[YELLING]
-VALERIE: What's going
on out here, Frank?
-We were playing.
You get out of here
and wait in the car.
-Are you all right?
-Where did you get
your friends, lady?
[HORN HONKING]
-Ouch. Well, did
he tell you anything?
-He doesn't know anything.
-Damn it!
-I say we get rid of him.
I don't know.
Could be more useful alive.
Oh, I can't believe
Alex is here.
Well, you better believe
that he's stolen something
and dragged my daughter
into it.
I'll get to the
bottom of this.
-And I'll come back
as soon as I can.
-I wasn't answered.
VALERIE: Victor, why didn't
you tell me Alex is here?
TALBOT: Take it easy.
Well, who's Alex?
-My son, Alex, remember?
-Your what? Your son?
Victor, what is going on?
Why did... Why was Frank
beating up on that perfectly
harmless Manny?
-Victor?
-How the hell do I know?
Why don't you ask him?
If you're so scared of those
guys, why don't you just
give up?
I'm not scared.
I just don't like liars,
that's all.
[SCOFFS] Yeah, that's why you
told your dad we were going
camping.
-Technically, we are.
-Technically, it's
a white lie.
Well, since I'm only
half white, it's not a whole
lie now, is it?
Of course, it is.
Plus you stole my toy plane.
If you shut up for one
second, you might realize
how beautiful this place is.
Here's the church.
How much further is that town?
Not too far.
North, towards the desert.
I don't see anything,
only desert.
Then we'll have to spend
the night here.
-Why don't you get some wood?
-Yes, ma'am.
[LAUGHING]
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
[LAUGHING]
You want some candy?
Are you asleep?
It's kind of hard when
you keep talking.
Look, if you hate me so much,
I don't know why you agreed
to come in the first place.
I don't hate you.
I never said I hated you.
Yeah, but you think
I'm a greedy capitalist pig.
Don't assume I share
all my father's political
views.
To me you're just a klutz.
Don't you think
he's, kind of, weird?
Your dad, I mean.
No, I don't.
Oh, no, no. Don't...don't...
Don't get me
wrong or anything.
I mean good weird.
I like weird.
All my friends,
when I get one, you know...
They either would be
or will be weird.
So, uh...
Why did
your dad move down here?
Why did he leave the U.S.?
Father was studying
anthropology at Stanford,
in the '60s.
He came here to research
his doctorate thesis and
just stayed.
Really?
What was his thesis on?
We have to get up
pretty early.
Come on, I'm not tired.
Tell me.
He was researching a death
of a tribe.
For thousands of years,
they lived near here,
prosperous people.
The Wada Indians.
They were a brother tribe
to the Incas of Talauaktan...
Oh, those are the guys who had
the blue diamonds ripped off.
Yes, but instead of being
mountain dwellers
they spent almost their entire
lives on their fishing boats.
They resisted modernization
completely,
content to live the way
they always had lived.
But when the Spanish
settlers came,
and then the British, and the
Welsh, and the Germans,
their land of ports and
harbors were needed
for commerce.
Still the tribesmen
and women would not leave.
Where could they go?
So they were slaughtered
like dogs.
And by the 1960s,
there was only one left.
Your dad did his thesis
on him?
It was a woman named Mataluna.
She taught him the history,
the ways of her people,
everything.
And when she died in 1975,
he decided to stay.
Mataluna was your mother?
I'm really tired.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
What did the police say?
-That wasn't the police.
-What do you mean?
Who was it?
You don't want the police
involved in a family matter.
I don't care, as long as we
find Alex and Ona.
And brand them as runaways?
Car thieves? Criminals?
When, really, they're just
a couple of mixed up
teenagers.
Look.
I've radioed the problem
to some local authorities.
People I know and trust.
Valerie, don't worry about it.
Those kids will show up, okay?
I'll find them, if it kills
them...
[CHUCKLES] I mean, kills me.
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine but I'm
still going out there.
Even Manny wants to come.
I don't think
that is necessary.
Well, I don't care
what you think.
It's not your son out there,
in the wilderness, and I'm not
just gonna sit here and wait.
All right, all right,
all right, then this
is what I suggest.
In the morning, you take
that Manny guy and you look
for them by car, all right?
Frank and I will search
the area by plane.
But promise me one thing,
the moment you find them,
or any sign of them, radio me.
Okay. Okay, that's good.
That's great but I'm not
waiting until morning.
Valerie, look...
It's dark outside.
You can't see a thing.
Besides, it's dangerous.
We'll leave in the morning,
period.
-Okay.
-All right.
Transmit at 83 megahertz.
Remember,
the moment you find them,
or any sign of them, okay?
-Thank you, Victor.
-Okay.
-I don't know how
to say thank you.
-That's all right.
I... I still love that
jacket of yours.
[LAUGHS]
Goodnight, Frank.
I'll see you in the
morning, Victor.
Can't win them all, turkey.
Get the plane ready.
We're leaving at the crack
of dawn.
My neck hurts.
Maybe if you took off
those Wilma Flintstone
necklaces you'd sleep better.
I don't take these off, ever.
All right, come on,
we have a lot of
walking to do.
You really surprise me.
A hippie communist living like
a hermit in the middle of the
jungle.
I mean, you talk about your
daughter, you seem so square.
I am not a hippie.
And I'm not square.
I was never square.
And I'm not a communist,
I'm a socialist.
Maybe we shouldn't talk.
I seem to make you so uptight.
I'm uptight?
You know, you're just
trying to hip trip me, lady.
You're a turn on, tune in
and drop out.
[LAUGHING]
You see, your core's a hippie.
I knew I could bring you out.
Oh, where else did she say
we might find them?
The old mission at Socaire.
Find something down?
Over there.
The graveyard
of the old miners town.
[CHUCKLES] He said you had
to be a rocket scientist to
figure it out.
We just aren't thinking
hard enough.
This is it.
Oh, Alex, don't open it.
-But the diamonds might be...
-Look. Look, explosives.
The miners used them.
Oh, shit.
Thanks.
I'm going to go, look around.
Why don't you go the other way
and we'll meet the other side.
This is nothing
but a ghost town.
The treasure could be in the
town or in the graveyard,
the map doesn't say.
Look around for some
sort of sign.
[ONA SCREAMING]
Ona!
[ONA SCREAMING]
Ona, where are you?
Ona, stop playing games.
Ona!
Ona?
Ona, stop kidding around.
-Ona?
-I don't have time to
play games anymore.
-Come on, just hand
over the map, all right?
-I lost it.
-You what? You lost it, huh?
-Ow! Oh!
-Ah!
-What did you
say, you lost it?
ALEX: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
All right, maybe you don't
care about your own lives...
Give me your hands.
But surely, you must
have some compassion
for your parents.
-What's that suppose to mean?
-Oh, yes, I know who
your mother is,
Alex Ostrow, and her father.
But we're reasonable men,
right? [CHUCKLES]
Willing to make
a reasonable deal.
Look, just give me the map,
all right?
We'll let you
and your parents go free.
We forget the whole thing.
-He's bluffing.
-He's not bluffing.
Open your mouth.
Ramone?
Si.Put on the hostages.
Valerie, I hope you're not
too uncomfortable. [CHUCKLES]
-Uh, you should know
that I have your son.
-Victor?
-Victor?
-[STATIC]
Victor, what did you say?
-TALBOT: I've got Alex.
-Ask him where Ona is.
-Where is Ona?
-Where is Ona?
I have her, too.
-Good
-Oh, Manny.
-Manny, they found them.
-That's wonderful.
Only there seems to be
a slight problem.
They're not hurt, are they?
Please, God, tell me they're
not hurt. Over.
No, they're all right.
But they're not cooperating.
I can't seem to get them to go
along with me, if you know
what I mean.
Alex? Alex, do exactly
as Victor says.
Yes, Ona, honey, listen to me.
Now you do what he says.
We don't want any more
trouble.
I don't bluff.
Now...
I made you a deal.
Your freedom for the map.
-Alex, we have to.
-Listen to her.
[SIGHS]
-You'll let us go?
-Alex, I gave you my word.
-[SIGHS] It's in my shoe.
-Atta boy.
-The other one.
-Don't push it.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
-All right, you got what you
wanted, now let us go.
-Nope.
-You know too much.
-Yeah, but you gave us
your word.
Welcome to the real world.
Now, walk!
[ALEX CHUCKLES]
The asshole hasn't even asked
for his watch back.
What did that guy say you had
to be, to find the treasure?
You had to be really,
really smart.
No, he said something else.
He said you had to be
a rocket scientist.
Look.
ALEX: [READING]
"Dr. Olga Volga... she danced
and built rockets for Stalin."
ONA: Too bad.
We got pretty close.
ALEX: To the treasure
or to each other?
Both, I guess.
Finished? All right.
Let's do it.
Uh, wait!
Um, can I get a last request?
No.
Come on, it's only
a cigarette.
Alex, as a doctor,
I cannot in good faith.
[LAUGHS] Oh! What the hell!
Oops! Here.
[COUGHING]
Thanks. That was refreshing.
All right, as the French say,
bon voyage.
[SCREAMS]
[TALBOT GROANING]
Oh, it's another clue.
-What is it?
-It's another disk.
We need a monitor.
-[SIGHS]
-[PLANE HOVERING]
-Run!
-[SCREAMS]
All right!
Whoo-hoo!
Got to be more careful,
I think, there's a national
park. [LAUGHING]
You shoot like my
grandma, doc.
They can't fly
into the sandstorm.
-Where are we going?
-To the nearest town.
[WIND HOWLING]
FRANK: The sand's
clogging them out.
TALBOT: All right,
head to Sierra Gorda.
We'll meet them out there.
-They're not going anywhere.
-You got it.
MANNY: But that was over
two hours ago, why didn't
he radio back?
Obviously, there's something
wrong with his radio.
You've heard the way it cut
out, and if he isn't answering
our transmit, then...
And what does he mean,
"They weren't cooperating"?
They're a couple of teenagers,
in love.
Well, they think they are.
What would you do?
I don't want to hear that
anymore, my Ona does
not love your son.
Oh, what is the matter
with my son?
I would know and
apparently, you would not
because you never see him.
Alex knows that my work
takes me away for periods
of time.
He knows it and he
understands it, accepts it.
Did you ever ask him about it?
I don't think that's any
of your business.
All I know is that there is
something very deeply
wrong with your son.
My Ona was not
the jungle's number one
car thief until he showed up.
Well, my son is not coverable
for your daughter's actions.
And he certainly
didn't kidnap her.
I just don't want any
screaming anymore.
Well, good.
Fine, don't scream then.
Listen, I just don't want
to scream anymore.
I don't want you to scream.
I don't want to scream.
I just want to hear
Jimi Hendrix play
the national anthem.
-Good.
-Like he did at Woodstock.
You remember that?
It was metaphysical.
-[SCATTING]
-[TURNS ON RADIO]
And he did overtones.
They were overtones. Whoo!
[DOGS BARKING]
I don't believe our luck.
Look, they have a...
-Shh, Alex, I'd be
quiet, if I were you.
-Why?
The Atacamians are
the fiercest, most violent
race in the world.
Uh, how bad can they be
if they watch TV?
ONA: The last anthropologist
to study them, was found dead,
with his sexual organs
stuck down his throat.
ALEX: At least they
have a monitor.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
He says it hasn't worked
in twenty years.
In that time, many
warriors tried to fix it
but each one failed.
They were all punished
for their bragging.
Can they still have kids?
-I didn't ask.
-Don't.
I'd rather not know.
Are you sure you want to go
through with this?
[SIGHS] Our parents' lives
depend on him.
BILLY: Hello, my friend.
-One more step
and the game is over.
-[CHIEF LAUGHING]
Enter and you've won.
Congratulations.
-What does that mean?
-The valley of the moon.
[CHIEF SPEAKING SPANISH]
[CHUCKLES] He said he'll
show us how to get there.
But he wants you to fix
his TV first, so he can
watch a show.
No prob, Chief.
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
[SIGHS]
WOMAN: [ON TV]
Hey, this is fun.
-What's wrong?
-They've already seen it.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
We better start thinking,
Frank.
We've got less than 36 hours
and we have no idea where
those little bastards are.
None of our scouts
have seen them. Damn it!
Valerie's incommunicado.
I can practically feel
the Frenchman's gun
up my nose.
We should have killed them
when we had the chance,
but, no.
Dumb head had to give him
a smoke, oldest trick
in the books.
[CHUCKLES]
So for once, for once
you're right, all right?
Well, I at least won't make
that mistake again.
So this is the train
that will take us
to Via de la Luna?
No, Valle de la Luna.
Gracias,pal.
Yes, thanks for saving
our lives.
-Adios.
-Adios.
[PHONE RINGING]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Sierra Gorda?
Are you out of your mind?
We're in Sierra Gorda.
[HORN HONKING]
Look, they found us again.
Yeah.
-Jesus, those
guys don't give up.
-What do we do now?
Follow me.
[ROOSTER CLUCKING]
Yeah. Yeah, get over there.
Yeah!
[CHUCKLES]
Get over there,
come on. Get in.
-[SCREAMS]
-Go!
You can run
but you can't hide.
I'll get you!
Ouch! Damn it!
[GRUNTS]
Don't let them get away.
Catch them.
-Hide there.
-Where?
End of the line.
[PANTING]
[FRANK CHEERING]
I'll be home. Shoot him.
Now... [CHUCKLES]
Give me that map.
-Aren't you getting a little
sick of that line?
-No.
No more jokes, huh?
Game's over, Alex.
To my pocket and...
Take it out of your pocket!
Come on.
-Can I go now?
-Yeah.
You can go.
You can go to hell.
-[GROANS]
-[ONA GRUNTS]
-[LAUGHING]
-TALBOT: Stop it!
[GRUNTING]
[GUNSHOTS]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[GUN FIRES]
[GASPS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Ona go bye-bye.
That's it.
You lose.
-[GUNSHOTS]
-Ah!
[FRANK LAUGHING]
-Did you get it?
-[LAUGHS]
-Let's get the hell
out of here.
-Okay.
ONA: Alex!
Oh...
Alex?
Victory. End of the game.
Valle de la Luna.
Right here is where crazy
Billy hid our treasure.
-Let's get it.
-I'll be home soon.
[CHEERING]
Let's get the hell out
of here. Come on!
Yeah!
[FRANK CONTINUES CHEERING]
Hey, watch where you're going.
Watch it!
To the left! Stop!
Hit the break!
For crying out loud,
you want to kill us?
[GROANING]
How did you do that?
The Rolex, water proof,
shock proof, bad guy proof.
There is no substitute.
[LAUGHS]
FRANK: How about the girl?
What if she goes to the cop?
TALBOT: She's dead.
Don't worry, Frank.
The local police
are taken care of.
By the time anybody else
finds out, we'll be history.
The important thing right now
is to contact MonsieurGei.
Frank?
Frank?
It's all over by tomorrow.
No more struggling
for scientific discovery.
No more worries
about publication.
[LAUGHS]
No more reading the
New England Journal
of Medicine.
$5 million.
-I can taste it.
-Remember, 500 is mine.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Damn lighter!
-Did you get it?
-They're on a train.
They're headed for Tocopilla.
-Where?
-Tocopilla.
And after we got on the train,
we thought we lost them
but then, they found us again.
And Victor tried to shoot us
but Ona threw tomatoes
in his face.
Now slow down, Alex,
if I understand you correctly,
Dr. Victor Talbot,
a world renowned
pharmacologist is
trying to kill you
-for a treasure map,
is that what you're saying?
-In a nutshell, yes.
And he kidnapped Manny
and me but he didn't really
kidnap us, is that right?
I don't understand
that part of it but what
I'm saying is the truth.
And what's the truth
about this?
This, next thing, you know,
you'll be saying a bullet
did it.
Exactly, the watch
stopped the bullet.
Oh, Alex.
I thought you were through
with this kleptomaniacy.
Five years in therapy
and for what?
Well, maybe if you'd been
around more and you hadn't
sent me off
to boarding school,
I wouldn't have been stealing
things to get attention.
So you admit you took
the watch?
Yes, Mom, I took the
God damn watch.
-But, Mom...
-And the two jeeps?
Yes! But, Mom,
you've got to believe me.
Those guys are killers.
Ruthless killers.
And they'll be coming
through here any minute.
And if there was such a sense
of urgency,
why were you necking with
Ona, when I got here?
See?
At least you admit
to stealing, that's one step
in the right direction.
That's all you care about,
the things that have
eight legs.
Oh, that's...
That's ridiculous.
ALEX: Yeah, yeah, spiders and
that phony-baloney fiance,
who only wants you
because of all the money
he can make off your work.
And you only want him 'cause
he funds all your research
and he doesn't care
if you're around or not.
Alex, you're right.
You're right, I should
have been around more.
I should have been around more
because I love you so much.
And I should have been around,
to teach you some more
discipline.
-Don't worry.
-Ona.
Ona?
Ona, you come back.
Don't worry, I'm going to
make up for lost times,
starting right now.
And to think I only came down
here, so we can get to know
each other better.
Because your hubby
said I should.
Good seeing you, Mom.
Thanks for remembering
my birthday.
I'm saving you from yourself.
Now, get in there.
Your boyfriend's not going
anywhere, neither you.
-Maybe there's
dust in the carburetor.
-I already checked it.
I thought you were going
to watch the kids.
[SIGHS]
The kids are fast asleep
and I don't need to be told
what to do.
Sorry.
I guess, I haven't been
very nice, have I?
Well, I haven't exactly been
a picture of a mellow man.
I guess, being an...
[VOICE BREAKS]
...being an entomologist
hasn't really left me much
time to be a human being.
Or a mother.
Well...
Being a hippie, square hermit,
I sometimes forget how to deal
with other people, too.
[INAUDIBLE]
Are you sure we're doing
the right thing?
-Ona? Ona.
-Alex?
-Ona.
-Alex?
-Ona.
-Alex?
-Ona?
-Alex.
Ona.
Ona!
-If you think I...
-Alex!
Ona? Ona, no, please.
Quit playing around, Ona.
I... I said some things
I'm a little sorry about
but...
I know you're here.
Come out.
[MOUTHING]
[MANNY GROANING]
Ona. Ona.
You did that on purpose. Ona?
[HUMMING]
I'm sure she did it
on purpose, she broke
my foot on purpose.
-Oh, it was only your pinkie.
[HUMMING]
-Ow!
What are we going to do now?
I can't second run the
marathon.
We're going to fix the jeep
and go to the police.
Might we suggest
something else?
Victor?
ALEX: So it's just like the
picture on Olga Volga's disk.
That's the valley of the moon.
Blue rocks.
No, this is Lapis Lazuli.
What's that?
It's like your turquoise
but it means we're in
the right place.
-[EXHALES SHARPLY]
-[SCREAMS]
Careful.
Look!
I'm almost afraid to open it.
Alex, I have to admit
something to you.
I'm a bad kisser, I knew it.
Mary Margaret Simkins
told me so.
No, you're a wonderful kisser.
I wasn't going to let you keep
your half of the treasure.
I was going to
give it all to the Indians.
It belongs to them, not to us.
-[SIGHS] You're serious?
-Yeah.
Except, now I don't know
anymore.
We've been
through too much.
I like you too much.
Well, we can give it
to the Indians.
We can give it to a museum.
I don't care.
All I wanted to do
was find it.
Finding it with you,
that was the icing
on the cake.
-First we have to
find it. [CHUCKLES]
-Right.
Is this what I think it is?
I think it's cocaine.
We're in some deep major shit.
-[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
-[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Get in there.
VALERIE: Alex?
Alex?
Alex?
Alex?
-I thought you killed them.
-So did I.
-Ona, did you have to drop
a truck on my foot?
-I'm sorry.
-A hammer maybe, but a truck?
-I'm so sorry I didn't
believe you.
-Are you all right.
-I'm okay.
Mike! Michael.
Oh, mon cheri.
It is too bad you had to
involve yourself directly
in this transaction.
Why are you talking like that?
In my business,
it is helpful to have
many identities.
No one suspected the
research station was
actually a cocaine facility.
-Oh, my god.
-Not with you there.
For the past year, you've
served my organization well,
as its most innocent
and most attractive cover.
You slimy pig!
It is a pity I have to lose
you but you're a bit old
for me.
And as for you...
And as for you,
you annoying piece of merde,
I don't like people getting
the better of me.
Enough nonsense!
-Victor? Take care of them.
-Mmm-hmm? Okay.
All except for that one.
-You're not taking
my daughter.
-Bring her along.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Oh, Valerie, before I forget,
the crimson toed tarantula
has been extinct
for over 500 years.
I cooked up the entire project
to keep you on the facility
while we were
conducting business.
Extinct? Really?
Yep, I'm afraid so.
It's questionable, whether
or not it ever existed.
A spider with red toes?
Causing sleeping death?
[CHUCKLES] Come on.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Sounds like a cheap
horror movie.
I have to admit,
it sounds ridiculous.
But I really enjoyed working
with you, though.
-No hard feelings?
-No more than it would
be normal.
Shake?
Victor, would you like
this jacket?
I don't think I'll be needing
it where I'm going.
-Why, Valerie,
you're so generous.
-Come on.
That's the last present
I get you.
I don't expect you
to trust me.
All right.
This is okay. Thanks a lot.
[SINGING IN GERMAN]
When I say go, run!
[YAWNING]
Take a nap.
-[SNORING]
-Doc, what's the matter?
What's the matter, doc?
Ouch!
-VALERIE: Run, Alex. Run.
-[BOTH SNORING]
We've got trouble, boss.
GEIGER: Take off.
PILOT: But...
GEIGER: I said take off!
Fasten your seatbelt, baby.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
VALERIE:
Alex, you're too late.
Alex, stop.
Alex, Alex!
Alex. Alex!
Alex!
Alex!
Why have a boy when you can
have a man?
I like a girl with spit.
Or was that spirit?
Rêves bons, mon père.
It's "Bons rêves", merdeface.
I looked it up.
Alex?
Alex?
Alex?
Hey!
[SCREAMING]
-What are you doing?
-I can throw it all off
before you can kill me.
Don't!
What do you want?
Untie her.
No.
All right, all right,
all right, all right,
all right.
Now, you're going out there,
you bloody kid. [YELLS]
That was for the kids
of America.
[SIREN WAILING]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER PA]
[TALBOT SNORING]
MAN: Well, we're here to
extend the gratitude of
the President
and the Ambassador
and the people of the
United States.
Senor,they've got it
all wrong.
My name is Miguel Guerrero.
I am a citizen of Paraguay.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
Congratulations, each
and every one of you.
You are a credit
to your nation.
And the Ambassador
has invited you
to attend a special dinner
party he's planned
in your honor.
Oh, I don't think so.
My son and I have to catch
a plane and we have a lot
of catching up to do.
The Ambassador does not take
no for an answer.
Well, then, we'll tell him yes
and we just won't show up.
-[LAUGHS]
-Oh, oh!
Gracias. Gracias.
You're going to come
and visit like we've
planned, right?
-Sure, if I can.
-Promise me.
Okay, I promise.
-Well, I have to go now.
-I know.
[VALERIE SPEAKING SPANISH]
Alex?
[CHUCKLES] Forget them.
Alex? Alex?
Alex?
-What are you doing?
-Oh, I don't know.
I just, sort of, spaced.
It must have been some kind
of chemical reaction.
It is your own virus.
Don't do it again, unless...
Can you stay a few more weeks
and work on that spider venom?
It's number two on my list,
remember?
-Alex is the
number one priority.
-I understand.
-Alex?
-Oh, just give him
another minute, all right?
My mother gave these to me.
They come from the area
where her people used to live.
They've been in her
family for generations.
I want you to have one.
-Beautiful.
-Which one do you want?
This one.
Look, blue diamonds.
They must have been
in the necklace all
these years.
Told you, I was a klutz.
Where did you say her tribe
came from?
It's pretty far from here.
VALERIE: Alex?
Alex, hurry,
the plane is leaving.
MANNY: Alex!
Oh, no, not again. Oh.
How long is this going
to go on?
Uh, not again.
Your father will see you now.
Your son, Mr. Geiger.
Good to see you, Alex.
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
How's school?
It's still summer vacation,
Mr. Geiger.
Please, Alex,
I've asked you to call me Dad.
My dad is dead.
Well, since your mother
and I are engaged,
don't you think it would
be nice to start treating
each other like family?
Look, Mr. Geiger,
I know what a busy man
you are, and everything,
so why don't we just cut
to the chase, huh?
About our trip
to South America,
I'm afraid, it has to be
canceled.
What? Canceled? I haven't even
seen my mom in almost a year.
It seems you mother
is on the brink of making...
BOTH:
Major scientific discovery.
And it'll be a bad time
to visit her, right?
You know how important
your mother's research
is to the medical world.
Besides, I have an emergency
stockholders meeting.
It's just not possible.
How about an advance
on my allowance?
Alex,
this is the third time
you've asked for an advance
on your weekly stipend.
Where does all the money go?
I bought a notebook
and some gum, that
was a whole five bucks.
Luxury items?
If you hadn't spent
all your money on
that computer,
maybe you won't be so broke,
all the time.
I won this in the
Junior National
Math Competition.
You could have
cashed out on it.
Look,
I don't want to sound
like a hard ass
but your mother expects me
to be responsible for you,
fiscally responsible.
A young man needs to learn
the value of a hard earned
dollar, and how to spend it.
No hard feelings?
No.
I understand.
You're a man. I'm just a boy.
There's still a lot I need
to learn from you.
Right? Dad?
I'm touched, Alex.
[TYPING]
[READING] "Hola. Que tal?
Como se llama?"
[SIGHS]
Why didn't I take French?
Fantastic!
You got one, right?
-Yes. Yes, and it just
passed the first test.
-Let's see it.
It chose to hide in the tree.
And since spiders
are supposedly arboreal,
there is a good chance
that you theory is correct.
The crimson toed tarantula
may actually exist.
That is great.
So when do you think you can
have a positive ID?
I have no idea
because this one is a male.
Only the female
carries the poison sac
and the coloration.
Where she is, nobody knows.
[HUMMING]
-TALBOT: Get it in there.
-No. No.
-Don't lose it now.
-Don't, don't.
Oh, imagine...
A red-toed
tarantula causing
instantaneously...
Sounds like a Grimm fairytale.
It'll be in reality,
soon enough.
[HUMMING]
You know, I predict,
that this research project
of yours will end up
being the greatest
pharmaceutical discovery
since Aluminum Chlorohydrate.
Well, let's hope that your
chronic optimism
is contagious.
Uh-uh! Don't confuse
optimism as greed.
I mean, that spider venom
might be the first natural
cure for insomnia.
-You want me to go right back
out there, don't you?
-Aye.
It only makes sense, I mean,
if you're this close.
This is your lucky day,
because I want to go
back out there.
-I'm going.
-[CHUCKLING] Atta girl.
You know, this is
a great jacket.
-It's so nice...
-Thank you. My son gave it
to me for our anniversary.
You're not married yet.
-Through my husband
himself, my late husband.
-Oh.
Well...
I'm sorry your visitors
won't be coming.
Well, it's okay.
Looks like everybody's got
too much work to do.
[HUMMING]
Okay.
[CONTINUES HUMMING]
[SIGHS]
-Business trip?
-Oh, Lord, no, I'm
visiting my daughter.
She goes to college
in Santiago.
I wouldn't miss her birthday
for the world.
My birthday was last week.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
This plane goes
where you want.
There comes the plane,
American pilotowill help you.
No problem.
ALEX: Great.
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
Oh, hey, excuse me,
bud, if your plane
is going back
to Puyehue, I'd like to get
a ride with you, man.
Well, I have business
to attend to, so bug out.
Sir, you don't understand,
my mother...
Listen, you little turd,
I said, "Bug out!"
What a jerk.
Here's what you asked for.
Mmm-hmm. And?
Thanks, Frank.
-I want the map.
-What map, Frank?
You crazy son of a bitch.
You stole our property.
You're lucky to be
getting out of this alive.
Now, hand it over.
Now.
Sure thing, Frank.
What's this shit?
It's the map, Frank.
A friend of mine put it
on disk.
You expect us to buy
something I can't see?
Oh, you're biting
my ear, Frank.
Look, I don't expect anything
from him.
But even if it was
on that map... Ow!
How did you know it was real
or not, I mean...
Either way you got to
trust me.
If you're playing with us,
you're dead.
Plain and simple.
Oh, no. Oh, I'm not dumb
enough to cross a genius
like you, Frank.
A man couldn't be that stupid.
Okay, we got a deal.
To your health.
To my health, Frank.
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
You know, I've been wondering
for the last couple of hours,
you know, saying to myself,
Billy Wright,
William Zane Wright.
What is that kid doing
at the back of your brand
new jet?
Or is he a part of the new
turbo option package.
[LAUGHS]
I don't know. Two hours
and I haven't figured it
out yet.
Hi.
Hey, wait,
you're not the pilot.
Sorry, sorry, who is you?
No, that other guy. The jerk?
Oh! That guy sold me
the plane. [LAUGHS]
Don't tell me we're not going
to Puyehue.
Buddy boy, that is the last
place on this sweet earth
that we are bound for.
This is a non-stop flight
for Miami.
Well, I got to get
out of here.
Well, we'll be passing
that place in a couple
of minutes.
Be my guest.
[BILLY CHOKING]
Do you need any medication?
[LAUGHING] Not for this round.
I've been poisoned.
[LAUGHS] Poisoned.
By him, Frank Hagen,
the stupidest man in
South America.
The embarrassment. [LAUGHING]
ALEX: Fly!
Tell me what to do.
-ALEX: Don't do this.
-Please excuse me.
ALEX: Come on,
you got to wake up.
BILLY: Nicely done.
-They got shit to pay for.
-ALEX: You have to fly
your plane.
BILLY: Shit!
Shut up and think.
You got balls, kid.
And you got brains.
Here. I'm giving you
the my everything, boy
I'm only...
I've put it in clues, see,
in case, they came after me.
In case there isn't time
to get away.
So you got some things
to figure out, boy.
But if you're a rocket
scientist
then you can find
the blue rocks,
millions and millions
of dollars.
And you'll be rich.
Filthy rich.
ALEX: Wake up!
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
ALEX: Wake up!
-Wake up!
-Blue rocks.
Shiny...
Sparkling, like
crystals in the sea.
Find them...
...and you'll find
$15 million.
Altitude, 55 feet.
Speed divided by distance
traveled, take the inverse...
Come on, when do I jump?
[READING]
You're the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
So beautiful.
Come on, boy.
Come, boy. Walk it off. Vamos.
Hola.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
-Who's that?
-Just another
strung out hippie.
Hey, wait a second.
Uh, give him another empty hut
for the night.
He could stay until morning.
Uh, excuse me, sir.
-My name is Alex Ostrow...
-Dr. Talbot, nice to
meet you, kid.
Yeah, but... Ow! [GROANS]
What's the matter kid,
sick or something?
-Take him to medical.
-Okay, good idea.
Come on, boy.
-What happened to Billy?
-What?
Are you the Miami contact?
I don't know what you're
talking about.
I... I want to find my mom,
Dr. Valerie Ostrow.
She's a very important
scientist around here,
so if you want to keep
your job, you better get
out of my way.
-Hey, what are you doing?
-What happened to him?
-Leave my stuff alone.
-Where's Billy?
-I don't know
who you're talking about.
-Don't mess with me, gringo.
Billy's my partner.
I want to know what
happened to him.
Billy's dead.
Some guy named,
Frank Hagen, poisoned him.
Look, I don't
even know how I got here.
I just want to find my mom.
She's in the field.
She won't be back for days.
And if I were you,
I'd disappear, too.
Don't trust anyone.
Not if you plan
on staying alive.
Pop will be going home soon,
poopsie-whoopsie.
Blah-blah-blah.
Oh, yes...
Would you mind giving it
to me already, we've got
to get our work done.
-Not that, the disk. Come on.
-Oh.
You just saved the
god damn plan.
I suppose I can use the, uh...
Hello, Dr. Talbot,
my name is Laticia.
Would you like to kiss me?
[MOANING]
Oh, Christ.
Look at that.
Oh, you're a great kisser.
Would you like to take off
my bra?
Billy was a good kid, boss.
Everything was a game
to him, you know.
Maybe the map...
Drop my little skirt.
You're really getting me
so hot, tough guy.
Please rip it off.
You think this is funny?
LATICIA: Come on. Come on.
Her bazookas might be
two mountains
and her belly button
might mean some little lake.
Her... [SNICKERING]
LATICIA: Come on, Doctor.
You think this is funny?
I screwed you boys, isn't that good?[LAUGHS]
Billy?
I don't get it, Frank.
How could this happen, huh?
I don't understand it.
BILLY: The blue rocks.
Sparkling, glittering.
Find them.
This god damn ridiculous
animal.
-We wouldn't be
able to stop that mess.
-Don't talk shit about Red!
TALBOT: Red, Schmed,
the damn dog doesn't
even know who you are.
Taking a vacation
a little early, aren't you,
Santos?
[GRUNTS]
[BEEPING]
BILLY: Hello, my friend. This is my present for you.
If you want to play the game, be smart.
Follow the map step by step.
At the end of the game,
you'll find the treasure,
$15 million.
And you'll be rich.
Filthy rich.
And don't forget,
you have to be a rocket
scientist.
TALBOT: Wash your hands.
I hate it when it splashes
on my shirt.
Ew, you sick thing.
MonsieurGei?
Come in.
Come in, MonsieurGei.
Come in, MonsieurGei.
MonsieurGei, come in.
This is Victor,
calling MonsieurGei.
MonsieurGei?
Can you hear me?
What the...
[BEEPING]
[PRINTER WHIRS]
Hey, stop what you're doing.
He cut the power.
The program is damaged.
TALBOT: I got him.
ALEX: Hey, wait, let...
Let go of me.
TALBOT: Hold him!
FRANK: Yeah...
-Easy, boy.
-TALBOT: Hold him down!
FRANK: Hold on.
TALBOT: He's got the watch.
[ALEX YELLING]
???
TALBOT: took my Rolex.
[STARTS ENGINE]
Damn it!
Start. Start.
Why won't you start?
[ENGINE SPUTTERING]
Oh, come on.
Forget it.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]
[YELLING]
[SCREAMS]
-[BELLS JINGLING]
-[SHEEP BLEATING]
Please, don't run away.
Me, not God, fall from sky.
-Me, Alex, American teenager.
-What? What?
What do you want?
You scared off all my sheep.
You speak English.
Well, you're the one
who saved my life, aren't you?
Seems I'm always in the wrong
place, at the wrong time.
Well, I...
I still want to thank you,
very much.
My name is Alex.
Thank you, very much.
What are you doing here,
anyway?
Isn't there some other place
you can hurt yourself?
Well, my mother is a scientist
at chemical research
facility...
Your mother's the spider
woman?
Wait, she's not exactly
Sonia Braga or anything
but anyway why...
That still doesn't explain
what you're doing in the
middle of the jungle
for the second time
in two days.
My mother's real busy,
that's all.
So I thought I'd do
some sightseeing on my own.
Say, do you know where
the Choshuenco Volcano is?
They say it's quite beautiful
this time of year.
I know where
the Choshuenco is.
I know every inch
of this area.
Hey. Hey, give me my map back.
El Tatio Geyser, the Volcano,
the Torrio swamps?
This doesn't look like "Chile
in $10 a day."
What is this, anyway?
What are you up to?
It's just my map.
Give it back.
Not if you're going
to keep lying.
Okay. Okay. It's...
it's a treasure map.
I'm telling you the truth.
It leads to something
called the blue rocks.
What do you know
about the blue rocks?
Well, if you start acting
like a human being
and give me my map back,
I might tell you.
And I might even invite you
to join me on a quest of
mythological proportions.
-You can invite me
on the way there.
-Where?
To see the wise man
at the village.
-Oh, hi, honey.
Who's your friend?
-Hi, Daddy.
Alex, this is my father,
Manny Wise.
-Hi.
-Hello, sir.
What's going down Mr. Brown?
Alex is the spider
woman's offspring.
Oh, he... Oh, really? Wow.
She buys all her supplies
from us.
And for an imperialist,
working for an exploited
multinational corporation,
you know, she's fairly groovy.
Why don't we go inside
and talk?
Well, I have to finish these
baskets and I have to
clean up, obviously.
Alex wants to hear
some of your stories.
Daddy knows everything there
is to know, about the history
of this region.
Well, I don't know about that.
I know a few things.
But, uh... Oh, why not?
Come on in.
-Uh, where've you been
all morning, honey?
-Herding sheep.
Yeah, and you picked up
a stray here, called Alex.
-Well, where are
you from, Alex?
-LA.
LA? Go away, LA!
I couldn't stand LA.
The conquistador of Chile,
Francisco de Valdivia
left South America
in the end
of the 16th century.
Spanish soldiers discovered
the hidden Inca city
of Talauaktan.
And they stormed the mountain
fortress and they slaughtered
10,000 Indians.
What they were after
is only legend
but the story is that they had
discovered the sacred chest
in the king's chambers,
containing the most precious
and rare jewels on earth.
Blue diamonds.
Thousands of them.
All shimmering.
The icy color of a glacier.
All the great Inca heroes
are the ones who tracked
the soldiers down and
killed them.
But the blue diamonds
were not found.
They remain lost
till this day.
They're supposed to be
hidden somewhere to the
north of here.
It's just a legend,
as legends go.
But every year, teams of
grave robbers come here
to dig up and destroy
in their selfish search
for useless riches.
You know some pretty
wild stories, Mr. Wise.
History of the world
is a wild story, young man.
When did you say your mom
is picking you up?
Uh, she's so busy in the field
right now,
she hardly even knows
I'm around.
So I thought Ona might...
Alex, would you mind
waiting outside for a second?
Why?
I just need a minute
to talk to my father
into letting me go.
-You'll go? That's great.
-What's great, kids?
Alex and I were thinking
of going on a camping trip
for a couple of days.
You better leave.
Daddy?
My plane.
Who'll take care of the sheep?
They'll need shearing soon.
Not for another month.
It's only for a day or two.
Or three or four.
I can't afford to let
you go that long.
Daddy, why don't you say
what you're thinking?
-That's exactly
what I'm doing.
-No, you aren't.
There's nothing to
worry about. Believe me.
I'm not worried.
I... I know you can
take care of yourself.
I have complete confidence
in you.
-Then I can go?
-Absolutely not.
It's not you
I'm worried about.
Maybe if you hadn't stayed
celibate since mom had died,
you'd stop seeing sex
everywhere.
When was the last time
you even kissed a girl?
Oh, that's none
of your business.
I guess all that talk
about women's rights
was just talk.
At heart, you're really
just one big conservative.
Don't you swear at me.
And don't try to make me sound
like a hypocrite in order to
get your own way.
Does that mean I get
my own way?
I want to know exactly
where you're going.
-All right?
-Okay.
You take good care
of my Ona.
Now, you're positive
that no one else knows
about this map?
What do I look like,
a bullshitter?
TALBOT: No. No, no.
Absolutely no problem,
MonsieurGei.
I'm just cleaning up
a few loose ends, that's all.
I couldn't find the kid.
I've been looking all over
and I couldn't find him
anywhere.
GEI: I hope you speak
the truth, Victor?
For your sake, for the sake of your children.
-You should be aware
of that at least by now.
-TALBOT: Right.
Like I said, the pickup
will be ready and waiting
for you, on Thursday.
Trust me.
-I told you the
little bird got away.
-It's Gei.
GEI: Trust is for the weak
and a new bride.
I have buyers lined up
across the globe,
in a bidding war,
over these goods.
So, if my valuables
are not there,
I will track you down
and kill you.
Your choice is a simple one, Victor.
Die poor
or live rich like God.
We've got three days.
Yeah. Well, it may
take three years.
That kid really makes me mad.
He's like a pro, a real pro.
He could be any damn where.
Yeah, he could be.
But soon enough... [CHUCKLES]
ONA: This is the crater
of the Choshuenco Volcano.
We have to find the skull,
buried beneath the wooden
cross.
That's what the map says.
Look.
ALEX: Ah! Uh...
Something is inside.
Ooh, a scorpion.
Put the scorpion onto the map
at exactly this spot.
The length of the scorpion's
body will reach from here
to only one other landmark.
You'll find what you're
looking for, there.
That must be
where the treasure is.
All we have to do
is kill that scorpion and lay
it on the map, right there.
No, the animal is sacred.
[LAUGHS]
I'm not going to let
a scorpion come between
us and the treasure.
All you Americans care about
is money.
-What about your 50% interest?
-I'm giving it to the Indians.
-Uh, you're kidding?
-No, I'm not, no one
needs that much money.
Try living in LA.
All right, okay,
I got another idea.
That must be it.
Agua Dulce,
the town of sweet water.
[ALEX CHUCKLES]
You see, killing's not
the only solution.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
TALBOT: On the ground.
Face down.
Move it! Come on!
Move it.
You, too, little girl.
Oh, I know this one.
She's the hippie's bastard,
the help maid.
[ONA SCREAMS]
Come on, save it.
We've got a lot of
work to do.
All right, give us the map
and we promise not to hurt
you too much.
Give us the map.
And we promise not to
hurt you too much.
FRANK: Come on, where is it?
TALBOT:
You don't have all day.
Give us the map.
FRANK: Come on, where is it?
Where is it?
TALBOT:
We promise not to hurt you.
FRANK:
Give it here, you bastard.
-TALBOT: Come on, save it.
We've got a lot of work to do.
-Oh, my god, look at that.
Shut up, dink.
ALEX: But that bag pack
is possessed.
[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]
Catch it, Frank!
[GUNSHOTS]
-Go get the horses.
I'll hold them off.
-Okay.
[HORN HONKING]
They fooled us, damn it!
They fooled us! [GRUNTING]
Ow!
-What the hell was that for?
-No one else knows
about the map, huh?
-Hey! I'm really pissed off.
-Go! Go!
-Go!
-I'm gonna kill you,
you bastard!
[SCREAMING]
[GROANING]
[VEHICLE APPROACHING]
[GRUNTS] Ah!
-Victor? Victor. Damn it!
-Valerie, what are you
doing here?
-What?
-What happened to your face?
-Oh, I was just doing a little
field work, that's all.
-Oh.
And my truck was stolen.
Can you give Frank and me
a ride back to the camp?
-Yes, but what happened?
-I'll tell you in the car,
okay?
I got to get out of here.
Well, let's just get
some supplies...
Why don't you do it
on the way back? Okay?
Or maybe I should.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Manny?
[YELLING]
-VALERIE: What's going
on out here, Frank?
-We were playing.
You get out of here
and wait in the car.
-Are you all right?
-Where did you get
your friends, lady?
[HORN HONKING]
-Ouch. Well, did
he tell you anything?
-He doesn't know anything.
-Damn it!
-I say we get rid of him.
I don't know.
Could be more useful alive.
Oh, I can't believe
Alex is here.
Well, you better believe
that he's stolen something
and dragged my daughter
into it.
I'll get to the
bottom of this.
-And I'll come back
as soon as I can.
-I wasn't answered.
VALERIE: Victor, why didn't
you tell me Alex is here?
TALBOT: Take it easy.
Well, who's Alex?
-My son, Alex, remember?
-Your what? Your son?
Victor, what is going on?
Why did... Why was Frank
beating up on that perfectly
harmless Manny?
-Victor?
-How the hell do I know?
Why don't you ask him?
If you're so scared of those
guys, why don't you just
give up?
I'm not scared.
I just don't like liars,
that's all.
[SCOFFS] Yeah, that's why you
told your dad we were going
camping.
-Technically, we are.
-Technically, it's
a white lie.
Well, since I'm only
half white, it's not a whole
lie now, is it?
Of course, it is.
Plus you stole my toy plane.
If you shut up for one
second, you might realize
how beautiful this place is.
Here's the church.
How much further is that town?
Not too far.
North, towards the desert.
I don't see anything,
only desert.
Then we'll have to spend
the night here.
-Why don't you get some wood?
-Yes, ma'am.
[LAUGHING]
[CHURCH BELL RINGS]
[LAUGHING]
You want some candy?
Are you asleep?
It's kind of hard when
you keep talking.
Look, if you hate me so much,
I don't know why you agreed
to come in the first place.
I don't hate you.
I never said I hated you.
Yeah, but you think
I'm a greedy capitalist pig.
Don't assume I share
all my father's political
views.
To me you're just a klutz.
Don't you think
he's, kind of, weird?
Your dad, I mean.
No, I don't.
Oh, no, no. Don't...don't...
Don't get me
wrong or anything.
I mean good weird.
I like weird.
All my friends,
when I get one, you know...
They either would be
or will be weird.
So, uh...
Why did
your dad move down here?
Why did he leave the U.S.?
Father was studying
anthropology at Stanford,
in the '60s.
He came here to research
his doctorate thesis and
just stayed.
Really?
What was his thesis on?
We have to get up
pretty early.
Come on, I'm not tired.
Tell me.
He was researching a death
of a tribe.
For thousands of years,
they lived near here,
prosperous people.
The Wada Indians.
They were a brother tribe
to the Incas of Talauaktan...
Oh, those are the guys who had
the blue diamonds ripped off.
Yes, but instead of being
mountain dwellers
they spent almost their entire
lives on their fishing boats.
They resisted modernization
completely,
content to live the way
they always had lived.
But when the Spanish
settlers came,
and then the British, and the
Welsh, and the Germans,
their land of ports and
harbors were needed
for commerce.
Still the tribesmen
and women would not leave.
Where could they go?
So they were slaughtered
like dogs.
And by the 1960s,
there was only one left.
Your dad did his thesis
on him?
It was a woman named Mataluna.
She taught him the history,
the ways of her people,
everything.
And when she died in 1975,
he decided to stay.
Mataluna was your mother?
I'm really tired.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
What did the police say?
-That wasn't the police.
-What do you mean?
Who was it?
You don't want the police
involved in a family matter.
I don't care, as long as we
find Alex and Ona.
And brand them as runaways?
Car thieves? Criminals?
When, really, they're just
a couple of mixed up
teenagers.
Look.
I've radioed the problem
to some local authorities.
People I know and trust.
Valerie, don't worry about it.
Those kids will show up, okay?
I'll find them, if it kills
them...
[CHUCKLES] I mean, kills me.
Okay, that's fine.
That's fine but I'm
still going out there.
Even Manny wants to come.
I don't think
that is necessary.
Well, I don't care
what you think.
It's not your son out there,
in the wilderness, and I'm not
just gonna sit here and wait.
All right, all right,
all right, then this
is what I suggest.
In the morning, you take
that Manny guy and you look
for them by car, all right?
Frank and I will search
the area by plane.
But promise me one thing,
the moment you find them,
or any sign of them, radio me.
Okay. Okay, that's good.
That's great but I'm not
waiting until morning.
Valerie, look...
It's dark outside.
You can't see a thing.
Besides, it's dangerous.
We'll leave in the morning,
period.
-Okay.
-All right.
Transmit at 83 megahertz.
Remember,
the moment you find them,
or any sign of them, okay?
-Thank you, Victor.
-Okay.
-I don't know how
to say thank you.
-That's all right.
I... I still love that
jacket of yours.
[LAUGHS]
Goodnight, Frank.
I'll see you in the
morning, Victor.
Can't win them all, turkey.
Get the plane ready.
We're leaving at the crack
of dawn.
My neck hurts.
Maybe if you took off
those Wilma Flintstone
necklaces you'd sleep better.
I don't take these off, ever.
All right, come on,
we have a lot of
walking to do.
You really surprise me.
A hippie communist living like
a hermit in the middle of the
jungle.
I mean, you talk about your
daughter, you seem so square.
I am not a hippie.
And I'm not square.
I was never square.
And I'm not a communist,
I'm a socialist.
Maybe we shouldn't talk.
I seem to make you so uptight.
I'm uptight?
You know, you're just
trying to hip trip me, lady.
You're a turn on, tune in
and drop out.
[LAUGHING]
You see, your core's a hippie.
I knew I could bring you out.
Oh, where else did she say
we might find them?
The old mission at Socaire.
Find something down?
Over there.
The graveyard
of the old miners town.
[CHUCKLES] He said you had
to be a rocket scientist to
figure it out.
We just aren't thinking
hard enough.
This is it.
Oh, Alex, don't open it.
-But the diamonds might be...
-Look. Look, explosives.
The miners used them.
Oh, shit.
Thanks.
I'm going to go, look around.
Why don't you go the other way
and we'll meet the other side.
This is nothing
but a ghost town.
The treasure could be in the
town or in the graveyard,
the map doesn't say.
Look around for some
sort of sign.
[ONA SCREAMING]
Ona!
[ONA SCREAMING]
Ona, where are you?
Ona, stop playing games.
Ona!
Ona?
Ona, stop kidding around.
-Ona?
-I don't have time to
play games anymore.
-Come on, just hand
over the map, all right?
-I lost it.
-You what? You lost it, huh?
-Ow! Oh!
-Ah!
-What did you
say, you lost it?
ALEX: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
All right, maybe you don't
care about your own lives...
Give me your hands.
But surely, you must
have some compassion
for your parents.
-What's that suppose to mean?
-Oh, yes, I know who
your mother is,
Alex Ostrow, and her father.
But we're reasonable men,
right? [CHUCKLES]
Willing to make
a reasonable deal.
Look, just give me the map,
all right?
We'll let you
and your parents go free.
We forget the whole thing.
-He's bluffing.
-He's not bluffing.
Open your mouth.
Ramone?
Si.Put on the hostages.
Valerie, I hope you're not
too uncomfortable. [CHUCKLES]
-Uh, you should know
that I have your son.
-Victor?
-Victor?
-[STATIC]
Victor, what did you say?
-TALBOT: I've got Alex.
-Ask him where Ona is.
-Where is Ona?
-Where is Ona?
I have her, too.
-Good
-Oh, Manny.
-Manny, they found them.
-That's wonderful.
Only there seems to be
a slight problem.
They're not hurt, are they?
Please, God, tell me they're
not hurt. Over.
No, they're all right.
But they're not cooperating.
I can't seem to get them to go
along with me, if you know
what I mean.
Alex? Alex, do exactly
as Victor says.
Yes, Ona, honey, listen to me.
Now you do what he says.
We don't want any more
trouble.
I don't bluff.
Now...
I made you a deal.
Your freedom for the map.
-Alex, we have to.
-Listen to her.
[SIGHS]
-You'll let us go?
-Alex, I gave you my word.
-[SIGHS] It's in my shoe.
-Atta boy.
-The other one.
-Don't push it.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
-All right, you got what you
wanted, now let us go.
-Nope.
-You know too much.
-Yeah, but you gave us
your word.
Welcome to the real world.
Now, walk!
[ALEX CHUCKLES]
The asshole hasn't even asked
for his watch back.
What did that guy say you had
to be, to find the treasure?
You had to be really,
really smart.
No, he said something else.
He said you had to be
a rocket scientist.
Look.
ALEX: [READING]
"Dr. Olga Volga... she danced
and built rockets for Stalin."
ONA: Too bad.
We got pretty close.
ALEX: To the treasure
or to each other?
Both, I guess.
Finished? All right.
Let's do it.
Uh, wait!
Um, can I get a last request?
No.
Come on, it's only
a cigarette.
Alex, as a doctor,
I cannot in good faith.
[LAUGHS] Oh! What the hell!
Oops! Here.
[COUGHING]
Thanks. That was refreshing.
All right, as the French say,
bon voyage.
[SCREAMS]
[TALBOT GROANING]
Oh, it's another clue.
-What is it?
-It's another disk.
We need a monitor.
-[SIGHS]
-[PLANE HOVERING]
-Run!
-[SCREAMS]
All right!
Whoo-hoo!
Got to be more careful,
I think, there's a national
park. [LAUGHING]
You shoot like my
grandma, doc.
They can't fly
into the sandstorm.
-Where are we going?
-To the nearest town.
[WIND HOWLING]
FRANK: The sand's
clogging them out.
TALBOT: All right,
head to Sierra Gorda.
We'll meet them out there.
-They're not going anywhere.
-You got it.
MANNY: But that was over
two hours ago, why didn't
he radio back?
Obviously, there's something
wrong with his radio.
You've heard the way it cut
out, and if he isn't answering
our transmit, then...
And what does he mean,
"They weren't cooperating"?
They're a couple of teenagers,
in love.
Well, they think they are.
What would you do?
I don't want to hear that
anymore, my Ona does
not love your son.
Oh, what is the matter
with my son?
I would know and
apparently, you would not
because you never see him.
Alex knows that my work
takes me away for periods
of time.
He knows it and he
understands it, accepts it.
Did you ever ask him about it?
I don't think that's any
of your business.
All I know is that there is
something very deeply
wrong with your son.
My Ona was not
the jungle's number one
car thief until he showed up.
Well, my son is not coverable
for your daughter's actions.
And he certainly
didn't kidnap her.
I just don't want any
screaming anymore.
Well, good.
Fine, don't scream then.
Listen, I just don't want
to scream anymore.
I don't want you to scream.
I don't want to scream.
I just want to hear
Jimi Hendrix play
the national anthem.
-Good.
-Like he did at Woodstock.
You remember that?
It was metaphysical.
-[SCATTING]
-[TURNS ON RADIO]
And he did overtones.
They were overtones. Whoo!
[DOGS BARKING]
I don't believe our luck.
Look, they have a...
-Shh, Alex, I'd be
quiet, if I were you.
-Why?
The Atacamians are
the fiercest, most violent
race in the world.
Uh, how bad can they be
if they watch TV?
ONA: The last anthropologist
to study them, was found dead,
with his sexual organs
stuck down his throat.
ALEX: At least they
have a monitor.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
He says it hasn't worked
in twenty years.
In that time, many
warriors tried to fix it
but each one failed.
They were all punished
for their bragging.
Can they still have kids?
-I didn't ask.
-Don't.
I'd rather not know.
Are you sure you want to go
through with this?
[SIGHS] Our parents' lives
depend on him.
BILLY: Hello, my friend.
-One more step
and the game is over.
-[CHIEF LAUGHING]
Enter and you've won.
Congratulations.
-What does that mean?
-The valley of the moon.
[CHIEF SPEAKING SPANISH]
[CHUCKLES] He said he'll
show us how to get there.
But he wants you to fix
his TV first, so he can
watch a show.
No prob, Chief.
[TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]
[SIGHS]
WOMAN: [ON TV]
Hey, this is fun.
-What's wrong?
-They've already seen it.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
We better start thinking,
Frank.
We've got less than 36 hours
and we have no idea where
those little bastards are.
None of our scouts
have seen them. Damn it!
Valerie's incommunicado.
I can practically feel
the Frenchman's gun
up my nose.
We should have killed them
when we had the chance,
but, no.
Dumb head had to give him
a smoke, oldest trick
in the books.
[CHUCKLES]
So for once, for once
you're right, all right?
Well, I at least won't make
that mistake again.
So this is the train
that will take us
to Via de la Luna?
No, Valle de la Luna.
Gracias,pal.
Yes, thanks for saving
our lives.
-Adios.
-Adios.
[PHONE RINGING]
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Sierra Gorda?
Are you out of your mind?
We're in Sierra Gorda.
[HORN HONKING]
Look, they found us again.
Yeah.
-Jesus, those
guys don't give up.
-What do we do now?
Follow me.
[ROOSTER CLUCKING]
Yeah. Yeah, get over there.
Yeah!
[CHUCKLES]
Get over there,
come on. Get in.
-[SCREAMS]
-Go!
You can run
but you can't hide.
I'll get you!
Ouch! Damn it!
[GRUNTS]
Don't let them get away.
Catch them.
-Hide there.
-Where?
End of the line.
[PANTING]
[FRANK CHEERING]
I'll be home. Shoot him.
Now... [CHUCKLES]
Give me that map.
-Aren't you getting a little
sick of that line?
-No.
No more jokes, huh?
Game's over, Alex.
To my pocket and...
Take it out of your pocket!
Come on.
-Can I go now?
-Yeah.
You can go.
You can go to hell.
-[GROANS]
-[ONA GRUNTS]
-[LAUGHING]
-TALBOT: Stop it!
[GRUNTING]
[GUNSHOTS]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[GUN FIRES]
[GASPS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Ona go bye-bye.
That's it.
You lose.
-[GUNSHOTS]
-Ah!
[FRANK LAUGHING]
-Did you get it?
-[LAUGHS]
-Let's get the hell
out of here.
-Okay.
ONA: Alex!
Oh...
Alex?
Victory. End of the game.
Valle de la Luna.
Right here is where crazy
Billy hid our treasure.
-Let's get it.
-I'll be home soon.
[CHEERING]
Let's get the hell out
of here. Come on!
Yeah!
[FRANK CONTINUES CHEERING]
Hey, watch where you're going.
Watch it!
To the left! Stop!
Hit the break!
For crying out loud,
you want to kill us?
[GROANING]
How did you do that?
The Rolex, water proof,
shock proof, bad guy proof.
There is no substitute.
[LAUGHS]
FRANK: How about the girl?
What if she goes to the cop?
TALBOT: She's dead.
Don't worry, Frank.
The local police
are taken care of.
By the time anybody else
finds out, we'll be history.
The important thing right now
is to contact MonsieurGei.
Frank?
Frank?
It's all over by tomorrow.
No more struggling
for scientific discovery.
No more worries
about publication.
[LAUGHS]
No more reading the
New England Journal
of Medicine.
$5 million.
-I can taste it.
-Remember, 500 is mine.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Damn lighter!
-Did you get it?
-They're on a train.
They're headed for Tocopilla.
-Where?
-Tocopilla.
And after we got on the train,
we thought we lost them
but then, they found us again.
And Victor tried to shoot us
but Ona threw tomatoes
in his face.
Now slow down, Alex,
if I understand you correctly,
Dr. Victor Talbot,
a world renowned
pharmacologist is
trying to kill you
-for a treasure map,
is that what you're saying?
-In a nutshell, yes.
And he kidnapped Manny
and me but he didn't really
kidnap us, is that right?
I don't understand
that part of it but what
I'm saying is the truth.
And what's the truth
about this?
This, next thing, you know,
you'll be saying a bullet
did it.
Exactly, the watch
stopped the bullet.
Oh, Alex.
I thought you were through
with this kleptomaniacy.
Five years in therapy
and for what?
Well, maybe if you'd been
around more and you hadn't
sent me off
to boarding school,
I wouldn't have been stealing
things to get attention.
So you admit you took
the watch?
Yes, Mom, I took the
God damn watch.
-But, Mom...
-And the two jeeps?
Yes! But, Mom,
you've got to believe me.
Those guys are killers.
Ruthless killers.
And they'll be coming
through here any minute.
And if there was such a sense
of urgency,
why were you necking with
Ona, when I got here?
See?
At least you admit
to stealing, that's one step
in the right direction.
That's all you care about,
the things that have
eight legs.
Oh, that's...
That's ridiculous.
ALEX: Yeah, yeah, spiders and
that phony-baloney fiance,
who only wants you
because of all the money
he can make off your work.
And you only want him 'cause
he funds all your research
and he doesn't care
if you're around or not.
Alex, you're right.
You're right, I should
have been around more.
I should have been around more
because I love you so much.
And I should have been around,
to teach you some more
discipline.
-Don't worry.
-Ona.
Ona?
Ona, you come back.
Don't worry, I'm going to
make up for lost times,
starting right now.
And to think I only came down
here, so we can get to know
each other better.
Because your hubby
said I should.
Good seeing you, Mom.
Thanks for remembering
my birthday.
I'm saving you from yourself.
Now, get in there.
Your boyfriend's not going
anywhere, neither you.
-Maybe there's
dust in the carburetor.
-I already checked it.
I thought you were going
to watch the kids.
[SIGHS]
The kids are fast asleep
and I don't need to be told
what to do.
Sorry.
I guess, I haven't been
very nice, have I?
Well, I haven't exactly been
a picture of a mellow man.
I guess, being an...
[VOICE BREAKS]
...being an entomologist
hasn't really left me much
time to be a human being.
Or a mother.
Well...
Being a hippie, square hermit,
I sometimes forget how to deal
with other people, too.
[INAUDIBLE]
Are you sure we're doing
the right thing?
-Ona? Ona.
-Alex?
-Ona.
-Alex?
-Ona.
-Alex?
-Ona?
-Alex.
Ona.
Ona!
-If you think I...
-Alex!
Ona? Ona, no, please.
Quit playing around, Ona.
I... I said some things
I'm a little sorry about
but...
I know you're here.
Come out.
[MOUTHING]
[MANNY GROANING]
Ona. Ona.
You did that on purpose. Ona?
[HUMMING]
I'm sure she did it
on purpose, she broke
my foot on purpose.
-Oh, it was only your pinkie.
[HUMMING]
-Ow!
What are we going to do now?
I can't second run the
marathon.
We're going to fix the jeep
and go to the police.
Might we suggest
something else?
Victor?
ALEX: So it's just like the
picture on Olga Volga's disk.
That's the valley of the moon.
Blue rocks.
No, this is Lapis Lazuli.
What's that?
It's like your turquoise
but it means we're in
the right place.
-[EXHALES SHARPLY]
-[SCREAMS]
Careful.
Look!
I'm almost afraid to open it.
Alex, I have to admit
something to you.
I'm a bad kisser, I knew it.
Mary Margaret Simkins
told me so.
No, you're a wonderful kisser.
I wasn't going to let you keep
your half of the treasure.
I was going to
give it all to the Indians.
It belongs to them, not to us.
-[SIGHS] You're serious?
-Yeah.
Except, now I don't know
anymore.
We've been
through too much.
I like you too much.
Well, we can give it
to the Indians.
We can give it to a museum.
I don't care.
All I wanted to do
was find it.
Finding it with you,
that was the icing
on the cake.
-First we have to
find it. [CHUCKLES]
-Right.
Is this what I think it is?
I think it's cocaine.
We're in some deep major shit.
-[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
-[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
Get in there.
VALERIE: Alex?
Alex?
Alex?
Alex?
-I thought you killed them.
-So did I.
-Ona, did you have to drop
a truck on my foot?
-I'm sorry.
-A hammer maybe, but a truck?
-I'm so sorry I didn't
believe you.
-Are you all right.
-I'm okay.
Mike! Michael.
Oh, mon cheri.
It is too bad you had to
involve yourself directly
in this transaction.
Why are you talking like that?
In my business,
it is helpful to have
many identities.
No one suspected the
research station was
actually a cocaine facility.
-Oh, my god.
-Not with you there.
For the past year, you've
served my organization well,
as its most innocent
and most attractive cover.
You slimy pig!
It is a pity I have to lose
you but you're a bit old
for me.
And as for you...
And as for you,
you annoying piece of merde,
I don't like people getting
the better of me.
Enough nonsense!
-Victor? Take care of them.
-Mmm-hmm? Okay.
All except for that one.
-You're not taking
my daughter.
-Bring her along.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Oh, Valerie, before I forget,
the crimson toed tarantula
has been extinct
for over 500 years.
I cooked up the entire project
to keep you on the facility
while we were
conducting business.
Extinct? Really?
Yep, I'm afraid so.
It's questionable, whether
or not it ever existed.
A spider with red toes?
Causing sleeping death?
[CHUCKLES] Come on.
-[CHUCKLES]
-Sounds like a cheap
horror movie.
I have to admit,
it sounds ridiculous.
But I really enjoyed working
with you, though.
-No hard feelings?
-No more than it would
be normal.
Shake?
Victor, would you like
this jacket?
I don't think I'll be needing
it where I'm going.
-Why, Valerie,
you're so generous.
-Come on.
That's the last present
I get you.
I don't expect you
to trust me.
All right.
This is okay. Thanks a lot.
[SINGING IN GERMAN]
When I say go, run!
[YAWNING]
Take a nap.
-[SNORING]
-Doc, what's the matter?
What's the matter, doc?
Ouch!
-VALERIE: Run, Alex. Run.
-[BOTH SNORING]
We've got trouble, boss.
GEIGER: Take off.
PILOT: But...
GEIGER: I said take off!
Fasten your seatbelt, baby.
It's going to be a bumpy ride.
VALERIE:
Alex, you're too late.
Alex, stop.
Alex, Alex!
Alex. Alex!
Alex!
Alex!
Why have a boy when you can
have a man?
I like a girl with spit.
Or was that spirit?
Rêves bons, mon père.
It's "Bons rêves", merdeface.
I looked it up.
Alex?
Alex?
Alex?
Hey!
[SCREAMING]
-What are you doing?
-I can throw it all off
before you can kill me.
Don't!
What do you want?
Untie her.
No.
All right, all right,
all right, all right,
all right.
Now, you're going out there,
you bloody kid. [YELLS]
That was for the kids
of America.
[SIREN WAILING]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER PA]
[TALBOT SNORING]
MAN: Well, we're here to
extend the gratitude of
the President
and the Ambassador
and the people of the
United States.
Senor,they've got it
all wrong.
My name is Miguel Guerrero.
I am a citizen of Paraguay.
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
Congratulations, each
and every one of you.
You are a credit
to your nation.
And the Ambassador
has invited you
to attend a special dinner
party he's planned
in your honor.
Oh, I don't think so.
My son and I have to catch
a plane and we have a lot
of catching up to do.
The Ambassador does not take
no for an answer.
Well, then, we'll tell him yes
and we just won't show up.
-[LAUGHS]
-Oh, oh!
Gracias. Gracias.
You're going to come
and visit like we've
planned, right?
-Sure, if I can.
-Promise me.
Okay, I promise.
-Well, I have to go now.
-I know.
[VALERIE SPEAKING SPANISH]
Alex?
[CHUCKLES] Forget them.
Alex? Alex?
Alex?
-What are you doing?
-Oh, I don't know.
I just, sort of, spaced.
It must have been some kind
of chemical reaction.
It is your own virus.
Don't do it again, unless...
Can you stay a few more weeks
and work on that spider venom?
It's number two on my list,
remember?
-Alex is the
number one priority.
-I understand.
-Alex?
-Oh, just give him
another minute, all right?
My mother gave these to me.
They come from the area
where her people used to live.
They've been in her
family for generations.
I want you to have one.
-Beautiful.
-Which one do you want?
This one.
Look, blue diamonds.
They must have been
in the necklace all
these years.
Told you, I was a klutz.
Where did you say her tribe
came from?
It's pretty far from here.
VALERIE: Alex?
Alex, hurry,
the plane is leaving.
MANNY: Alex!
Oh, no, not again. Oh.
How long is this going
to go on?