The Secret Agent Club (1996) - full transcript
To the world Ray Chase is nothing more than a klutzy, overgrown toy seller whose wife passed away a few years ago; and his only son Jeremy doesn't get to see him very often, because he's always away on "business trips." What no one knows-not even Jeremy-is that his dad is a secret agent who flies all around the world, completing highly classified missions for a top-secret peacekeeping agency. Unaware of his dad's dangerous, yet exciting, secret identity, Jeremy's world is utterly normal. But all that changes when Ray returns from a mission, bringing with him a high-powered laser gun he stole from a treacherous female foreign guns dealer. Ray tells his son the gun is only a toy, but his secret comes out when the dealer sends her henchmen to capture Ray and retrieve the gun. The nasty henchmen get Ray, but Jeremy escapes with the wanted firearm. After he learns how to use the laser gun, Jeremy gathers his friends, and together they hatch a clever plan to rescue Ray.
♪♪
( rumbling )
( rodent squeaking )
( helicopter flies overhead )
POWER...
YOU ALL WANT POWER.
YOU CAN HAVE IT.
THIS WILL MAKE YOU UNTOUCHABLE.
ON SALE FOR TONIGHT ONLY,
I HAVE A ONE-OF-A-KIND TOOL.
IT DOESN'T SLICE, IT DOESN'T
DICE, BUT IT CAN BE YOURS--
FOR A PRICE.
( rodent squeaking )
( helicopter flies overhead )
( squeaking continues )
UNNHH!
UNNH!!!
( shouts in Arabic )
( device beeps )
( Arabic)
( whistling )
HUH.
( crackling, beeping )
WRECKS.
BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?
DON'T TOUCH,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
( growling )
IN THE SAME WAY THE LONG BOW,
GUN POWDER, AND THE GLORIOUS
ATOMIC BOMB CHANGED THE BALANCE
OF POWER IN THEIR TIME,
SO WILL THIS WEAPON IN OURS.
( gun beeping )
( excited murmuring )
PARDON ME, SIR.
SECURITY CHECK.
PLEASE STEP THIS WAY.
BUT I AM LATE!
SECURITY HERE IS RIDICULOUS!
YOU'RE RIGHT, SIR.
IT'S SHOCKING.
AAAAAH!
SLEEPING ON DUTY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO STRIP YOU
OF YOUR RANK.
THIS PRODUCT IS
A LIMITED EDITION.
THERE IS ONLY ONE.
THAT IS ALL ITS LATE CREATOR
HAD TIME FOR BEFORE HIS
UNFORTUNATE DEMISE.
( Wrecks chuckles )
Woman: OUR WORLD IS STILL
RULED BY THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE--
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.
AND TONIGHT, ONE OF YOU
WILL PROVE HIMSELF MORE FIT
THAN THE OTHERS.
THERE ARE MANY WAYS
TO SHOOT A MANNEQUIN.
I AM NOT IMPRESSED.
AHA. I SEE THAT YOU
ARE MORE INTERESTED IN
BREATHING TARGETS?
VERY WELL.
( gun beeps )
( zapping, whirring )
Man: NO, SHE WOULD NOT...
AH.
OH!
BRIGHT LIGHTS. BEAUTIFUL.
MY SON'S POP GUN
COULD DO AS MUCH.
All: OH!
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO
NEED A RIDE HOME, SHEIK.
TONIGHT THE BIDDING WILL BEGIN
AT...
OH, SHALL WE SAY TEN...
BILLION?
FOLLOW ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AFTER DINNER,
THE BIDDING WILL BEGIN!
GENERAL?
( excited chatter )
NICE SHADES.
SCRATCH RESISTANT?
AHHH.
Man: KEEP DOWN.
( foreign language chatter )
(speaking Russian): GENERAL?
HA! (mumbles in fake Russian)
( Russian )
MM-HMM. (mumbles )
( Russian )
GUARDS!
( growls )
( gunfire )
( gunfire, shouting )
HUH?
( gunfire )
( clicking; gun empty )
NICE SHOOTING.
( growls )
BRING HIM TO ME.
OHHH.....HO HO!
( beeps )
( gunfire )
OHH! HOW COULD YOU HAVE
LET HIM ESCAPE?!
OHH! WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M SORRY.
AND?
WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
OKAY.
I WANT YOU TO FIND THAT MAN
AND BRING ME THE WEAPON!
AND WRECKS, DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD POSSIBLY KILL HIM
NEXT TIME? HMM?
OH, YEAH.
( kids chattering )
♪ WOKE UP THIS MORNING
♪ THREW THE CLOCK
♪ ACROSS MY BED
♪ THE PARTY FROM THE WEEKEND
♪ STILL RUNNING IN MY HEAD... ♪
HEY, JEREMY, WANT TO GET IN
ON A LITTLE BET ON THE GAME?
I'LL GIVE YOU 5-1 ODDS--
AGAINST US.
NO, THANKS, SLY.
HEY, IT'S A GOOD BET. WE'RE
GONNA GET OUR BUTTS KICKED.
Coach: GO!
Kid: RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!
HIT THE RELAY MAN!
STRAIGHT IN!
SAFE!
THEN AGAIN, MAYBE NOT.
YES!
DID YOU SEE THAT?
GOOD RUN.
DON'T WORRY. HE'LL BE HERE.
WHY SHOULD THIS TIME
BE ANY DIFFERENT?
( tires screeching )
( honks horn )
WHOA!
♪ BA-BA-BAH ♪
( horns honking )
♪ I HATE MONDAYS
♪ NO REGARD FOR TUESDAYS
♪ GETTING OVER HUMP DAYS...
( deep sigh )
HEY, JEREMY! HE MADE IT!
OOPS.
AAH.
( chuckles )
( crowd cheering on teams )
HI, GUYS.
WHAT A CLOD.
SUPERDAD HAS ARRIVED!
IS THAT YOUR DAD, SON?
YES, SIR.
COME JOIN THE GAME, DAD!
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
A GOOD IDEA.
AW, COME ON.
OH, NO.
SORRY I'M LATE, SON.
IT'S OKAY.
ONE DOWN NOW, ONE DOWN.
YO! CHASE!
COMIN' YOUR WAY!
DON'T HURT YOURSELF!
( laughs )
HEY, KIDS! YOU BETTER
COME ON IN AND HELP OUT RAY!
OH...
I DID IT!
I GOT IT! I DID IT!
DID WE WIN?
( happy chatter )
I DID IT!
HA HA HA!
NO! I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!
DID YOU SEE, JEREMY?
I DID IT! HA HA HA!
WAIT UP! WHOO!
Ray: HEY, GOOD CATCH, HUH?
(flat) YEAH.
GREAT ONE, DAD.
DON'T DO THAT TOO OFTEN.
IT WAS GOOD.
I JUST WISH...
MOM COULD HAVE SEEN IT.
I KNOW, SON.
I MISS HER, TOO.
DAD?
YEAH?
NEVER MIND.
WHAT?
HOW COME WE NEVER GO OUT
FOR PIZZA WITH THE GANG ANYMORE?
I MEAN, WE USED TO.
I TOLD YOU, JEREMY,
I HAVE TO MAKE A DELIVERY.
( toy train whistle blowing )
GOOD AFTERNOON, JEREMY-SAN.
HELLO, MR. YAMATA.
BASEBALL GAME EXCELLENT?
I MADE A GOOD CATCH.
EVEN ONE-LEGGED MAN
SOMETIMES KICK BUTT.
( laughs )
ANY PROBLEMS, JEREMY?
HE DIDN'T SHOW UP
UNTIL THE END.
AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO
GO OUT FOR PIZZA.
HE PROMISED,
THEN WENT BACK ON IT.
AHA. (dialing phone)
(phone ringing )
( beep )
( beep )
( communications chatter )
GENERAL ANDERSON.
CHASE HERE. I'M LEAVING
THE ITEM AT BASE CAMP, SIR.
CHASE, YOU MUST STAY WITH
THE ITEM UNTIL YOU CAN
RENDEZVOUS WITH ONE OF OUR
AGENTS AT 1400 HOURS.
EVE AND HER CRONIES WERE SEEN
ENTERING THE COUNTRY.
INTEL INFORMS US THAT
THEY MAY BE ON TO YOUR LOCATION.
DIDN'T TAKE HER LONG.
HMM. DOES IT EVER?
WELL, UH...
THERE'S A SLIGHT PROBLEM, SIR.
A PROBLEM?
MY SON IS WITH ME NOW.
YOUR SON?!
YOU KNOW, JEREMY,
WHEN YOUR MAMA DIED,
VERY HARD ON YOUR PAPA.
YOU THINK HE NOT MISS HER
AS MUCH AS YOU?
HE WAS NEVER HOME ANYWAY.
HE WAS ALWAYS OFF AT SOME
STUPID TOY CONVENTION
OR SOMETHING.
HE WASN'T EVEN AT HOME
WHEN SHE DIED.
JEREMY,
HE NEEDS YOU NOW.
I DON'T THINK SO.
WELL, YOU THINK AGAIN.
HE HAS NO ONE ELSE.
DAD?
WOW! WHAT IS THAT?
NOTHING.
NO, IT'S COOL.
IT'S A NEW TOY, RIGHT?
YEAH, RIGHT.
CAN I SEE IT?
NO, SON.
BUT...
OKAY. YOU CAN LOOK,
BUT DON'T TOUCH.
IT'S ONLY A PROTOTYPE.
WHAT'S IT DO?
LIKE, SMOKE? LIGHTS? NOISES?
IT MUST DO SOMETHING.
JEREMY, NO! I TOLD YOU
NOT TO TOUCH IT.
I WASN'T GONNA HURT IT.
LET'S JUST PUT IT AWAY
FOR NOW, SON.
COME ON, SON, WE GOTTA GO.
GOT YOUR SEATBELT ON?
YEAH. GOOD.
( tires screech )
( engine revving )
SCOOTCH TO THE FRONT
OF YOUR SEAT, JEREMY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT DO THESE GUYS WANT?!
THE TOY BUSINESS,
IT'S CUT-THROAT.
SLIDE TO THE FRONT OF
YOUR SEAT, SON!
JUST DO IT!
NOW REACH IN THE GLOVE BOX.
YOU'LL FIND A TINY BUTTON.
PUSH IT THREE TIMES, PAUSE,
AND THEN TWICE AGAIN.
( beeping )
( horn honking )
( beeping )
( gun cocks )
HANG ON!
AAAH!
WOW! WHERE'D YOU LEARN
TO DRIVE LIKE THAT?
LIKE WHAT?
HUH? HUH?!
( beeping )
( shouting )
DAMN!
DAMN!
WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.
DAMN!
( evil chuckle )
JEREMY, GET OUT OF THE CAR.
GO. HIDE. DON'T COME OUT
UNTIL YOU KNOW THEY'RE GONE.
BUT DAD--
TAKE THIS. KEEP IT WITH YOU.
GO!
YOU CAN TRUST MAX SIMPSON!
( car alarm )
( chuckles )
IT AIN'T HERE.
( tires screeching )
( chuckling )
SOMEBODY HELP!
( growls )
HEEEEEEELP!
WHOA!
( growls )
UNHH! OHH!
HA HA HA!
ARRGGHH!!!
HEY, DAD?
DAD...
DAD?
Man: IS HE THERE?
Man 2: THE KID'S
NOT HERE YET.
YOU GOTTA FIND HIM.
( kids laughing )
I'M ON IT.
Jeremy: IT'S TRUE!
ALL RIGHT. AND THEN YOUR DAD
WENT ZOOMING DOWN THE HILL
AT THE CARS AND LOST
ANOTHER ROCKET, AND
THE CARS EXPLODED.
NO, HE CRASHED.
BLAM! RIGHT INTO
A STREETLAMP!
NO! INTO A PARKED CAR!
THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU!
YOU FLOATED AWAY
IN A BALLOON.
LANDED ON IT.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS BELIEVE ME?
WELL, COME ON, JEREMY--
HEY! YOU STAY OUT OF THIS.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE.
YEAH. NO GIRLS ALLOWED.
SHUT UP, BIG BROTHER!
YOU SHUT UP, LITTLE SISTER.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
HEY! HEY! HEY!
EVERYBODY SHUT UP!
OKAY, I'LL PROVE IT.
THERE'S ONE OF THE FAKE COPS
OUTSIDE SPYING ON THE HOUSE.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
COME ON, COME ON! LET'S GO!
COME ON!
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, BART!
GO FASTER! COME ON!
GO! GO! GO! GO!
LET'S GO!
COME ON.
SHH.
COME ON.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
Sly: I DON'T SEE ANYBODY.
HE WAS THERE.
WELL, MAYBE HE LEFT.
YEAH, WITH THE GIANT
TEDDY BEAR.
FORGET IT. JUST FORGET
I SAID ANYTHING.
JEREMY.
THERE. THAT'S PROBABLY
YOUR DAD NOW.
HUH? WHOA!
SHH! SHH!
QUIET. QUIET. SHH.
LET'S GO.
COME ON.
WAIT UP.
GO! GO! GO!
HANG UP AND THEN DIAL
YOU'RE OPERATOR...
( beeping )
( phone continues beeping )
OH, MAN, THIS IS WRECKED.
( hangs up phone )
HEY, MAN, SORRY WE DIDN'T
BELIEVE YOU.
DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL FIND YOUR DAD.
I WONDER WHAT THEY WANTED?
THEY WERE SEARCHING
FOR THE GUN.
WHAT GUN?
A PROTOTYPE TOY RAY GUN
MY DAD HAD.
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
THOSE GUYS MUST HAVE BEEN FROM
A RIVAL TOY COMPANY.
IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE
THE LASER GUN IS, THEN MAYBE
YOUR DAD GOT AWAY.
OR MAYBE HE'S DEAD.
SHUT UP! YOU ARE SUCH A DORK!
SORRY, JER.
IT'S OKAY.
LOOK, IF HE DID GET AWAY,
AND HE'S NOT HERE,
WHERE WOULD HE BE?
TOY STORE!
Mr. Yamata: YES, SIR.
I UNDERSTAND.
I'LL TAKE OVER. OKAY, BYE.
( hangs up phone )
EASY. I'M JUST AN OLD MAN.
I TOLD YOU, I'M AN OLD MAN.
OH-- OH--
WHOO-HOO!
ARRGGHH!
AAAAH!
Man: HEY! WATCH IT!
WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!
( chatter, laughter )
OKAY.
DAD?
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
DAD?
THIS PLACE IS A WRECK.
MR. CHASE? DAD?
MR. CHASE? DAD?
MR. CHASE?
All: OH!
HEY!
AAAH!
OHHH!
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M JEREMY CHASE.
MY DAD RUNS THIS TOY STORE.
UM, WHO ARE YOU?
SHIGEO YAMATA.
I'M LOOKING FOR--
( screams )
GRANDFATHER!
( dog barking )
Guard: COME ON THROUGH.
HUNGRY, CHAMP?
YEAH.
GREAT CATCH TODAY, DAD!
THANKS, SON.
SO, DAD...
WHERE IS IT?
WHERE'S WHAT?
WHERE'S THE WEAPON, DAD?!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT!
WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT!!!
( screams )
WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?
EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.
WHERE IS IT?!
IT'S MY BEST CREATION YET.
VIRTUAL REALITY SIMULATIONS
COUPLED WITH MIND-ALTERING DRUGS
MAKE THE EXPERIENCE SEEM
COMPLETELY REAL TO HIM.
MODERN TECHNOLOGY
AT ITS FINEST.
WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?
HE'S FIGHTING THE DRUG.
I-- I DON'T KNOW HOW,
I'VE TRIPLED THE DOSAGE.
HE SHOULD BE BABBLING
EVERY SECRET HE KNOWS.
THE TECHNOLOGY, IT'S STILL
IN DEVELOPMENT.
WELL, LIVE SUBJECTS ARE
SO HARD TO COME BY.
IF ONLY I COULD DRILL
INTO HIS BRAIN AND GET
DIRECT EXPOSURE.
WAKE HIM UP.
TRY AGAIN.
AND DON'T FAIL ME THIS TIME.
SPEAK.
IT'S ME.
I'M NEAR THE TOY STORE.
DO YOU HAVE THE WEAPON?
THERE WERE, UM,
COMPLICATIONS.
I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU LOST THEM AGAIN!
OHH! WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M SORRY.
AND?
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'M SENDING SCARLETTI.
HE'S THE BEST AT
THIS SORT OF THING.
EXCUSE ME, FOLKS,
COMING THROUGH.
ALL RIGHT, ON THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
SHIGEO, TAKE CARE OF
YOURSELF. I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU WANT TO CALL
YOUR MOM AND DAD?
LIVE WITH GRANDFATHER.
JUST COME FROM JAPAN.
WELL, I GUESS YOU BETTER
COME WITH US, THEN.
( siren )
HI. MY NAME'S BART.
OH.
( all laugh )
I'M ROSALIE.
HMPH. HMPH.
I'M SLY.
WELL, I'VE BEEN THINKING,
IF THEY WANT THIS RAY GUN
SO BAD, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD
FIND IT OURSELVES.
I MEAN, AT LEAST WE'LL HAVE
SOMETHING TO BARGAIN WITH.
THEN WE'LL HAVE TO
TRACK DOWN THE CAR.
THE POLICE IMPOUND LOT!
IF THEY FOUND A WRECKED CAR ON
THE STREET, THERE'S WHERE
THEY'D TAKE IT.
GUYS, COME ON.
WAIT UP. SLY!
IT'S A SILVER VOLVO.
ALL RIGHT, SPREAD OUT.
THERE! RIGHT THERE!
( beeping )
THAT'S COOL!
ALL RIGHT!
THAT'S SO NEAT!
UH, GUYS.
SHUT THE DOOR! HURRY!
( panicky chatter )
GO! GO!
DO SOMETHING!
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?
HE'S COMING!
( Rex chuckling )
WHY NOT START CAR?
MOVE UP, MAN!
( ignition stutters )
GO! GO! GO!
AAAAH!
GO!!!
AAAAH!
ARRGH! ARRGHH!
COME ON! GET OUT!
COME ON! RUN!
HURRY! COME ON!
AAAAAH!
( all shouting )
I'M COMING, I'M COMING.
( shouting, screaming )
THANKS, GUYS.
( laughing )
I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL
DEAD MEAT.
THANKS AGAIN.
( Japanese )
DON'T TOUCH THE MUSTACHE?
NO, NO, NO. ( Japanese )
IT MEAN, "YOU'RE WELCOME"
IN JAPANESE.
( tires screech )
( all scream )
HA HA HA HA!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
OH, NO.
GIVE ME THE GUN.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
I'LL MEET YOU IN THE CLUBHOUSE
IN AN HOUR.
GOTCHA NOW, YOU LITTLE BRAT.
AAAAAH!
All: YES! ALL RIGHT!
YEAH!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
HEY, KIDS!
GET DOWN!
GET DOWN!
COME ON, GET IN THE VAN!
IT'S OKAY. COME ON.
RUN AROUND.
LET'S GO, GUYS!
GET IN. QUICKLY.
Jeremy: CLOSE THE DOOR!
ARE YOU KIDS OKAY?
YEAH.
COOL.
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO YOU,
YOUR DAD WOULD KILL ME.
DAD?
YOU MUST BE MAX SIMPSON!
AT YOUR SERVICE.
YOU MUST BE JEREMY, HUH?
I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU,
KID.
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS ROSALIE,
BART, SHIGEO.
NICE TO MEET YOU ALL.
OUR PLEASURE.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
( beeping )
SO COME ON IN, MAKE
YOURSELVES AT HOME.
COME ON, COME ON.
COME ON.
( disarms alarm )
SIT DOWN.
SO, KIDS...DO YOU LIKE MAGIC?
WATCH THIS.
TA-DA!
WOW!
NEAT!
HA HA HA! NO, WAIT,
NO APPLAUSE. THERE'S MORE.
HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS.
THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
READY?
NOTHIN'.
READY...
THAT IS SO COOL!
HA HA! WHAT? NOTHIN'.
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
( Ray gasping )
YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR US!
NEVER!
YOU KILLED HER, YOU KNOW?
SHE DIED OF LONELINESS.
I HATE YOU!
JEREMY--
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
BUT I'LL FORGIVE YOU IF YOU
TELL ME WHERE YOU HID
THE WEAPON.
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT...
HIS WILL IS TOO STRONG.
IF ONLY I COULD DRILL...
DRILL, DRILL, DRILL!
THAT'S ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT
IS DRILLING!
RAISE THE INTENSITY LEVEL TO...
MAXIMUM.
THEN WE'LL SEE HOW LONG
HE LASTS.
SO IS THIS YOUR HOUSE?
OH, NO, NOT EXACTLY.
IT'S WHAT WE CALL A SAFE HOUSE.
IT'S WHERE WE BRING PEOPLE
WE NEED TO PROTECT--
LIKE YOU LITTLE GUYS.
THERE'S SOME PRETTY BAD PEOPLE
AFTER YOU.
BECAUSE OF THE TOY.
TOY?
OH! YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU?
KNOW WHAT?
WHOA.
NO. JEREMY, YOUR DAD DOESN'T
RUN A TOY STORE. I MEAN,
HE DOES, BUT IT'S SORT
OF A COVER.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HMM.
WE WORK FOR AN ORGANIZATION
CALLED "SHADOW" -- YOUR DAD,
MYSELF, AND YOUR GRANDFATHER.
NO WAY.
WAY.
AND THIS WEAPON, KIDS,
IT'S NOT A TOY.
IT'S THE REAL THING, AND THERE'S
A LOT OF BAD PEOPLE TRYING
TO GET THEIR HANDS ON IT.
IS MY DAD OKAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I DO KNOW THAT I CAN HELP
HIM IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE
THE WEAPON IS.
OKAY. SLY HAS IT.
SLY?
YEAH, ANOTHER FRIEND.
WE'RE MEETING HIM AT THE
CLUBHOUSE IN AN HOUR.
THE CLUBHOUSE. WHERE'S--
IT'S THE OLD BOMB SHELTER
AT MY HOUSE.
AH. GOOD. WELL,
THAT'LL HAVE TO DO.
SIR, WOULD IT BE OKAY
IF I CALL GRANDFATHER
AT THE HOSPITAL?
I AM VERY MUCH WORRIED
ABOUT HIM.
YEAH, SURE, GO ON.
WELL, LOOK, I HAVE TO REPORT IN,
SO I'LL USE THE PHONE
IN THE VAN.
I'M GONNA SET THE ALARM...
( beeping )
DON'T GO OUT THE DOOR.
YOU KIDS ARE GONNA BE OKAY,
WON'T YOU?
YES, SIR.
GOOD.
UM, BACK IN A FLASH.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
WHERE'D HE GO?
OH, MY GOSH!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE...
YOU'RE GOING TO BE MY
GREATEST CREATION EVER.
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE...
YOU WOULDN'T BE FAKING,
WOULD YOU?
( video continues )
GUESS NOT.
THAT HURT.
OOH.
( watch beeps )
( phone rings )
DAD?
JEREMY. YOU OKAY, SON?
YEAH, DAD, I'M FINE.
ARE YOU OKAY?
I'M FINE. LET ME TALK
TO MAX.
HE'S NOT HERE.
OKAY. TELL HIM THAT EVE IS
LOCATED AT THE ABANDONED ASYLUM.
GOT THAT?
YEAH, I GOT THAT, DAD.
AT THE ASYLUM. WHAT'S GOING ON?
ARE YOU OKAY?
SORRY, JEREMY, BUT--
DAD? DAD?
DAD, ARE YOU THERE?
DAD? DAD?
OH, WHAT AN INTERESTING
LITTLE TOY.
DAD? DAD, YOU OKAY?
HELLO?
UH, DAD?
OH, JEREMY!
WHO IS THIS?
THIS IS A FRIEND OF YOUR
FATHER'S, DARLING. EVE.
WHERE'S MY DAD?
OH, HE'S, UM, LYING AROUND
SOMEWHERE.
YOU'RE NOT HIS FRIEND.
THAT'S RIGHT, BOY,
I'M HIS WORST NIGHTMARE.
NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY.
THERE IS THIS MAN WHO WORKS
FOR ME, HE'S A DOCTOR,
ONLY HE DOESN'T HEAL PEOPLE.
NO, QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
NOW, HE TELLS ME HE WOULD LIKE
TO TRY A NEW EXPERIMENT
ON YOUR DADDY, ONE THAT INVOLVES
DRILLING INTO THE BRAIN.
IF THE WEAPON ISN'T IN MY
POSSESSION BY SIX O'CLOCK,
I'M GOING TO LET HIM DRILL,
SWEETIE.
JEREMY, NO!
AH, I DON'T HAVE IT.
THEN YOU'D BETTER FIND IT,
BOY!
OR DON'T YOU CARE ENOUGH ABOUT
YOUR DADDY TO SAVE HIS LIFE?
( hangs up )
SPEAK.
OH, EXCELLENT!
MOVE IN AND TAKE THE BRATS.
THEY'RE GONNA KILL MY DAD
IN TWO HOURS.
WE'VE GOTTA TELL--
DON'T MOVE!
( alarm wailing )
( Rosalie whimpering )
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR YOU KIDS.
WOW!
All: YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
SHIGEO! WAY TO GO! YES!
UNHH....
LET'S GET SOMETHING
TO TIE HIM UP.
I MUST GO SEE GRANDFATHER.
OKAY. IF WE NEED YOU,
WE'LL LEAVE A MESSAGE ON
THE COMPUTER AT THE CLUBHOUSE.
BE CAREFUL, SHIGEO.
( laughs )
YES, MR. PRESIDENT.
WE'VE JUST LOCATED THEM, SIR,
THERE'S A TEAM ON THE WAY.
YES, SIR. OTHER THAN
RAYMOND CHASE, MAX SIMPSON
IS OUR BEST MAN.
IF HE SAYS THEY'RE THERE,
SIR, THEY'RE THERE.
COME ON.
GO! NOW!
MOVE! MOVE! EVERYBODY IN!
UH, MR. PRESIDENT.
THEY'RE NOT THERE, SIR.
( keyboard tapping )
HOW'S IT GOING?
GIVE ME A BREAK, HUH?
THEY DON'T EXACTLY MAKE IT EASY
TO TAP INTO GOVERNMENT FILES,
YOU KNOW.
I'M SORRY. I JUST....
WANT TO KNOW WHO MY DAD
REALLY IS.
( Sly chuckling )
YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS HACKER.
"AGENT RAYMOND CHASE.
JOINED SHADOW ORGANIZATION 1984.
1986: LED COVERT OPERATION
IN ANGOLA.
1988: COMMENDATIONS FOR
NEGOTIATING MIDDLE EAST
PEACE TREATY.
1990: SINGLE-HANDEDLY CAPTURED
TERRORIST ORGANIZATION
SHINING STAR.
TRADECRAFT: THIRD DEGREE
BLACK BELT, AIKIDO,
CS-12 WEAPONS TRAINING.
DISGUISE EXPERT.
JEREMY, YOUR DAD ISN'T
A DWEEB AT ALL!
NOT AT ALL.
DO YOU THINK MR. SIMPSON'S
GONNA COME GET US?
I'LL SEE IF I CAN FIND
ANYTHING ON MR. MAX SIMPSON.
ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
IT'S JUST THAT...
WHAT?
THIS WHOLE THING WITH MY DAD,
I MEAN, HE'S LIKE A WHOLE
DIFFERENT PERSON,
LIKE I NEVER KNEW HIM.
IT'S LIKE HE'S LIED TO ME
MY WHOLE LIFE.
WELL, MAYBE HE DID THAT
BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IT'S SORT OF LIKE THE WAY
CLARK KENT NEVER TOLD LOIS LANE
HE WAS SUPERMAN.
IF HE DID, THAT WOULD PUT HER
IN DANGER, AND THE BAD GUYS
WOULD GO TO HER TO GET TO HIM.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM?
WHAT ABOUT HER?
DON'T YOU THINK SHE KNEW?
SHE MUST HAVE.
SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU EITHER,
BUT SHE LOVED YOU, RIGHT?
OF COURSE.
WELL?
I THINK YOUR DAD'S
PRETTY SPECIAL.
I MEAN, HE MUST BE TO HAVE
A GREAT KID LIKE YOU.
( kissing noises )
OH! SHUT UP!
HA HA HA HA!
WHOA! GOT IT!
MR. MAX SIMPSON,
COME TO PAPA.
THERE HE IS.
WHERE?
LOOK THERE!
MR. SIMPSON!
JEREMY! HEY, COOL.
GOD BLESS THE RUSKIES, HUH?
HA!
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU,
LITTLE BUDDY, HUH?
ARE YOU OKAY?
YES. SOME GUY CAME TO THE
HOUSE AND SHIGEO KARATED HIM
AND EVE CALLED AND WE BOOKED
AND SHE'S GOT MY DAD!
WHOA, WHOA, SLOW DOWN,
SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.
YOU SLY?
YES, SIR.
YOU GOT THE WEAPON?
I STASHED IT SOMEPLACE SAFE.
GOOD MAN. ALL RIGHT.
FIRST THING: LET'S GO GET IT.
THIS WAY. COME ON.
COME ON.
OH...WHERE'S SHIGEO,
BY THE WAY?
HE'S AT THE HOSPITAL
WITH HIS GRANDFATHER.
HOW'S HE DOIN'?
OKAY, I GUESS. MR. SIMPSON,
LOOK, WE ONLY GOT TWO HOURS
TO FIND MY DAD, TWO HOURS,
AND THAT WOMAN IS GOING TO--
( all gasp )
HA HA HA HA!
INTO THE VAN, KIDDIES.
MOVE IT!
( kids screaming )
HA HA!
MY DAD SAID WE COULD
TRUST YOU.
NO, YOUR DAD SAID YOU
COULD TRUST MAX SIMPSON.
I'M AFRAID I HAD TO BORROW
HIS NAME FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
WHO ARE YOU?
VINCENT SCARLETTI
AT YOUR SERVICE.
AND YOU, YOU-- YOU--
YOU CAN CALL ME VINCE.
NEVER JUDGE A CROOK
BY HIS COVER.
HA HA HA HA!
BUT YOU SAVED US FROM HIM.
YOU WERE SET UP, KID.
WE HAD TO MAKE YOU TRUST US.
GET ON WITH IT.
RIGHT.
WHERE TO?
OVER MY DEAD BODY.
DON'T SAY THAT. I'M AFRAID
WRECKS HERE WOULD RATHER
ENJOY THE IDEA.
( growls )
TELL HIM.
TELL HIM.
TELL ME.
THIS WHERE YOU LEFT IT?
NICE NEIGHBORHOOD.
( whistling )
COME ON!
MOVE IT. MOVE IT.
( whistling )
TOLD YOU I LEFT IT
SOMEWHERE SAFE.
WHOA!
OKAY, BACK OFF OR I MELT
THE LITTLE BRAT'S FACE.
OOH!
COME ON! COME ON!
I'M RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU!
COME ON!
EWW!
YOU GOT IT.
( thugs laughing )
WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW,
BIG GUY?
PRETTY FUNNY, HUH?
GET HIM!
THAT'S IT. OBVIOUSLY
WE CAN'T TRUST ANYBODY.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
WE CAN DO.
WHAT'S THAT?
WE'LL NEED SHIGEO.
CAN WE GET HIM A MESSAGE?
I CAN EMAIL ONE OVER
TO THE CLUBHOUSE
ON THE COMPUTER.
WHAT IS IT WE'RE PLANNING
ON DOING?
BUT IF SHIGEO CAN READ IT,
ANYBODY CAN.
HMM. YEAH.
WHAT ABOUT A PASSWORD?
EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME--
I GOT IT. WHAT'S THAT?
TELL HIM TO MEET US AT MY
DAD'S TOY STORE IN A HALF HOUR.
HOLD IT! WHAT EXACTLY IS IT
WE'RE PLANNING ON DOING?!
WE'RE GONNA RESCUE
MY DAD OURSELVES.
GENTLEMEN, AND ROSALIE,
CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS.
♪ YOU'RE ON A MISSION....
( song continues )
ALL RIGHT,
YOU GOT THE MESSAGE!
DID YOU ERASE IT?
DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S IN CODE,
WHO COULD READ IT?
ANY LUCK?
NOT YET.
I THOUGHT THESE WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE THE BEST COMPUTER HACKERS
IN THE WORLD, GENERAL.
THEY ARE, MAX.
IT'S JUST A HIGHLY
UNUSUAL PASS CODE.
HMM.
"THANK YOU, SHIGEO-SAN."
THAT'S QUITE A RIDDLE.
WHERE IS IT, DAD?!
WHERE IS IT, DAD?!
WHERE...
( growls )
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO!
WRECKS!
BE NICE.
THERE'LL BE TIME FOR THAT LATER.
( video continues )
GO! GO! GO!
SHH! SHH!
( urgent whispering )
MOVE IT!
MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!
COME ON!
COME ON, BART, HURRY!
OKAY, WE GOT A PLAN.
WHAT WE GOT DO IS--
HEY, GUYS!
( all groan )
( walkie-talkies feed back )
SORRY.
LET'S MOVE.
GO! GO! GO! SHHH!
STAY CLOSE.
SHH!
SLOW. SLOW...
OHH, GUARDS!
LET'S GO AROUND BACK.
( buzzing )
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
WE CAN DO.
GO HOME?
DIG.
WE'RE ABSOLUTELY AWARE
OF THE URGENCY.
NOT YET, MR. PRESIDENT.
YES, SIR, I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
ANYTHING?
NO, NOTHING.
WE'RE LOSING PRECIOUS
TIME HERE.
AS SOON AS THE CODE BREAKS,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE
READY TO MOVE.
YOUR TEAM READY?
EVERY MAN I'VE GOT
IS ON THIS.
LISTEN TO ME, GENERAL, YOU'VE
GOT TO UNDERSTAND, WE'VE ALL
OWED RAYMOND CHASE AT
ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.
YOU JUST TELL US WHERE.
GET ME AN OUTSIDE LINE.
Video: WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT?!
( video continues )
( electricity crackling )
COME ON. YOU CAN MAKE IT.
LET'S GET HIM.
YOU KNOW, IT TOOK US A LONG
TIME TO GET THROUGH THERE.
IF WE HAVE TO BOOK IN A HURRY,
WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
I GOT AN IDEA.
YOU GUYS GO ON AHEAD.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
WE'VE ONLY GOT A FEW MINUTES
TILL SIX. WE GOTTA GO FAST.
BONSAI!
BONSAI!
BONSAI!
BONSAI!
BINGO!
I'VE GOT THE PASSWORDS!
"DON'T TOUCH THE MUSTACHE."
COME ON. HURRY.
IT'S LOCKED.
Man: JOHNNY, WE'RE GOING IN,
YOU STAY DOWN THERE.
I'M BUCKWHEAT.
VERIFY VOICE.
( beeping )
VOICE ANALYSIS CONFIRMED.
ACCESS GRANTED.
( door buzzes )
"DON'T TOUCH THE MUSTACHE."
WHAT KIND OF A PASS CODE
IS THAT?
IT'S JAPANESE FOR
"YOU'RE WELCOME."
SORT OF.
IT SAYS THEY'RE AT
THE OLD PRISON ASYLUM.
WHERE'S THAT?
I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
TEAMS ALPHA, BETA, DELTA...
SCRAMBLE NOW!
GO, GO, GO, GO!
( chatter )
GO!
SOMEONE'S COMING. HURRY!
I'M SPANKY. VERIFY VOICE.
VOICE ANALYSIS CONFIRMED.
ACCESS GRANTED.
( door buzzes )
Recording: I'M SPANKY.
VERIFY VOICE.
VOICE ANALYSIS CONFIRMED.
ACCESS GRANTED.
( door buzzes )
IT'S TIME.
GENTLEMEN, YOU MAY BEGIN.
BUT PLEASE, COULD YOU GET
RESULTS BEFORE HE DIES?
WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN' HERE?
( man drops to floor )
( Ray moaning in distance )
( moaning continues )
OH, GEEZ!
WAIT. WE CAN'T JUST GO
RUNNING IN THERE.
BUT IT'S MY DAD!
IT'S NOT GONNA DO YOUR DAD
ANY GOOD IF WE ALL GET CAUGHT.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT AN IDEA.
LISTEN...
( groaning )
WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT?
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.
( Ray groaning )
( drill whirring )
( groaning )
( loud popping )
FREEZE!
OR I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!
BACK OFF! DROP IT!
DAD! DAD?
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
DAD?
DADDY?
SON?
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
COME HERE, SON.
BUT I'M GLAD YOU DID.
YOU. SIT DOWN.
GO! GO!
LET ME HAVE THAT.
YOUR WEAPON. TWO FINGERS.
BACK UP.
NO!
AAAH!
( all laugh )
Eve: HOW WARM AND FUZZY.
DROP IT!
IT'S A FAMILY REUNION,
REALLY, ISN'T IT?
GET YOUR HANDS UP!
I'D LIKE NOTHING BETTER THAN
TO GET YOU ALL OUT OF MY HAIR.
RAY, YOU HAVE A VERY BRIGHT
BOY HERE.
VERY BRIGHT, INDEED.
WHERE'S THE WEAPON?!
AH! AH-AH-AH.
MY GUN IS REAL.
( beeping )
Eve: AND I'M RATHER KEEN
ON USING GUNS.
OH, BUT I HATE TO CLEAR UP
THE MESS.
SO WHY DON'T YOU MAKE MY LIFE
EASY AND COOPERATE?
YOU, TUBBY. RELEASE HIM.
SORRY. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
HMM.
( karate yell )
YOU GUYS OKAY?
YEAH, YEAH.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
COME ON, GUYS.
UH, DAD, COME HERE.
SOLID.
WHOO!
SO NICE OF YOU TO
JOIN ME, BOYS.
DON'T DISAPPEAR AGAIN.
( alarm wails )
COME ON! COME ON!
( all shouting )
COME ON, KIDS, LET'S GO!
HURRY UP!
COME ON, MOVE IT!
MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
COME ON!
COME ON!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
( shouting )
( all groaning )
GET OFFA ME!
( alarm wailing )
HEY, THERE HE IS!
GET BACK, KIDS! HURRY!
( shouting )
WRECKS....
WHERE ARE YOU?
OHH.
WRECKS!
( groaning )
DOCTOR.
DOCTOR!
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I HATE YOU!
WHAT?
( mumbles )
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
YOU!
HMM.
AAAAHH!
HEEAH! HEEAH!
YEAH!
DAD, THIS WAY!
THERE WERE HARDLY ANY GUARDS
ON THE WAY IN!
OOPS.
LET'S GO BACK.
SOMEONE'S COMING.
AAAH!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA...!
ALL RIGHT, MAN!
LET'S MOVE!
ALFALFA, THEY'RE UP HERE!
WE'RE TRAPPED.
NEVER GIVE UP, SON.
WE'RE NOT BEAT YET.
THEN MAYBE THIS...
WOULD HELP?
YOU KIDS ARE UNBELIEVABLE.
All: YEAH!
Eve: CHASE, THERE IS
NO WAY OFF THE ROOF.
IT'S OVER. I HAVE 200 MEN
SURROUNDING THE BUILDING.
WELL, LET'S EVEN THE ODDS.
YES! YES!
( all shouting )
YEAH!
LET'S MOVE, GUYS.
OKAY. WE'VE ALL HAD
OUR LITTLE BIT OF FUN.
NOW, HAND ME THE WEAPON, OR...
THE BOY DIES.
NO!
DON'T DO IT, DAD.
DAD?
LET HIM GO.
HAND ME THE WEAPON. NOW.
AT THE SAME TIME.
OHH!
( clicking )
WHAT--
COME ON, KIDS!
IT'S ALL YOURS.
COME ON, GUYS.
( bad guys shouting )
TAKE 'EM OUT!
( gunfire )
PICK 'EM UP, PICK 'EM UP!
GO!
( gunfire )
( sirens )
( all shouting )
GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT!
( beeping )
OHH!
PICK 'EM UP! FASTER!
OHH!
GET READY, GET READY!
GO! GO!
OKAY, I SEE IT!
DIVE!
AAH!
DIVE!
YEAH!
DIVE!
WHOO!
BONSAI!
AAAH!
YEAH! WHOO!
YEAH!
WHOA!
HO HO HO!
YES! YES!
COME ON, GUYS,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
( sirens )
( chatter, shouting )
RAY! YOU OKAY?
YEAH. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
SORRY, BUDDY.
DON'T BE.
I WAS IN GOOD HANDS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
GUESS I KIND OF BLEW
MY COVER, HUH?
MAYBE A LITTLE.
I LOVE YOU.
( muttering )
AGENT CHASE.
GENERAL.
WHERE'S THE WEAPON?
SHE HAS IT, SIR.
WHAT?! SHE HAS IT?!
SHE HAS IT-- FOR ANOTHER
30 SECONDS OR SO.
( beeping )
OHH....
OHH. OH...
AAAAAH!
( whimpering )
OHH!
I SET THE SELF-DESTRUCT.
YOU SET THE--?
HOLY COW!
GET THE KIDS OUT OF HERE!
MOVE! MOVE!
SCRAMBLE THE CHOPPER!
MOVE!
( Eve whimpering )
OH, WRECKS! WRECKS!
THANK GOD!
COME HERE. QUICK! QUICK!
HURRY UP, YOU IDIOT!
HURRY UP!
HIT IT, GUYS!
HIT THE CLEAR BUTTON.
HURRY.
( beeping )
( growling )
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WHAT?!
NEAH.
NO! WRECKS. WRECKS.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
AND?
OHH!
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
NOW, CLEAR THE WEAPON!
IT'S ON SELF-DESTRUCT!
WRECKS, WRECKS, WRECKS, WRECKS!
COME BACK HERE!
COME BACK HERE NOW! WRECKS!
WRECKS!
WRECKS, YOU'RE FIRED!
WHOA!
( laughing )
ALL RIGHT!
HO HO HO!
Bart: OH, BROTHER.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY SISTER IS
FINALLY INTERESTED IN A BOY.
YOU AGENTS GET TO THOSE
VEHICLES! I WANT THIS AREA
EVACUATED IN FIVE MINUTES!
WELL, SIMPSON,
MAYBE NEXT TIME.
LET'S MOVE IT OUT!
General: I WANT TO THANK
EVERYONE FOR COMING.
THIS HAS BEEN QUITE
AN ADVENTURE.
YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE TODAY:
TO HONOR THESE YOUNG PEOPLE
WHO HAVE DONE SO MUCH
FOR THEIR COUNTRY.
HEY, SOME OF YOU COULD TAKE
A LESSON FROM THESE KIDS.
( laughter )
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, ON BEHALF OF THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES,
I BESTOW UPON YOU CHILDREN
THE DISTINGUISHED INTELLIGENCE
CROSS FOR ACTION AND BRAVERY
ABOVE AND BEYOND
THE CALL OF DUTY.
GENTLEMEN...AND LADY...
WE SALUTE YOU.
( applause )
AH.
♪ HEY, WHAT'S THE WORD
♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD
♪ YOU'RE DAD THE NERD'S
♪ BEEN CAPTURED BY A WOMAN
♪ NAMED EVE WHO YOU BETTER
♪ BELIEVE HAS SOMETHING NASTY
♪ UP HER SLEEVE
♪ SHE'S AN EVIL ONE
♪ DOING ANYTHING TO GET THAT GUN
♪ THE RAY GUN, RAY GUN
♪ RAY GUN, RAY
♪ HIS NAME IS RAY
♪ HE WEARS A TOUPEE
♪ WHAT HE TAKES HOME COULD
♪ BECOME A CLICHE, BUT BEHIND
♪ THAT TOOTHY, GOOFY GRIN
♪ IS A SECRET AGENT
♪ A TRAINED ASSASSIN
♪ ( gunshots )
♪ MAN IF HE STARTS FLEXIN'
♪ THOSE AWESOME PECS
♪ THEN YOU'D UNDERSTAND
♪ THE RESPECT HE COLLECTS
♪ FROM ALL THE EVIL-DOERS
♪ WHOSE PLANS HE WRECKS
♪ WRECK, WRECKS, WRECKS
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ AGENT CLUB, AGENT CLUB
♪ THEY CALL HIM WRECKS AND
♪ YOU BETTER START TO BEG IF YOU
♪ SEE HIM COMING AT YOU WITH
♪ HIS BAD METAL LEG
♪ HE'LL RUSH YOU
♪ HE'LL CRUSH YOU
♪ HE'LL TURN YOU INTO MUSH
♪ YOU SEE HIM COMIN'
♪ AND YOU BETTER RUN FAR
♪ OR THE WRECKS IS GONNA
♪ LEAVE YOU WITH ONE BIG SCAR
♪ SCAR, SCAR
♪ LIKE SCARFACE, IN A CAR CHASE
♪ RACIN' DOWN THE ROAD
♪ AT A BIZARRE PACE
♪ HE'S REAL UGLY
♪ MIGHTY SCARY GUY, GOING EVERY
♪ PLACE 'CAUSE HE'S KNOWN
♪ TO BE SLY, SLY, SLY
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ AGENT CLUB
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ AGENT CLUB, AGENT CLUB
♪ SLY, SHIGEO, ROSALIE AND BART
♪ ARE FOUR YOUNG PEOPLE
♪ WITH A WHOLE LOT OF HEART
♪ ONE IS A BEAUTY AND
♪ THE OTHER ONE'S SLICK
♪ SHIGEO BEATS THE BAD GUYS
♪ WITH A FINE KICK
♪ YEEAH! YEEAH! YEEAH!
♪ YEAH, THAT BART KID
♪ HE'S A SMART KID, WHEN ANYONE
♪ ATTACKS HE MAKES TRACKS, KID
♪ WHEN THE OTHER KIDS IN
♪ THE PACK PUSH THEMSELVES
♪ TO THE MAX, MAX
♪ MAX SIMPSON, NO WIMP, SON
♪ AND ON THE CHARM
♪ HE NEVER SKIMPS NONE
♪ WHENEVER THERE'S TROUBLE
♪ HE'S THERE ON THE DOUBLE
♪ IS HE A GOOD GUY
♪ OR SOMETHING OTHER?
♪ NEVER JUDGE A CROOK
♪ BY ITS COVER
♪ MY COVER, MY COVER
♪ YO, COVER ME, YOUNG JEREMY
♪ I'M GOING TO GET DADDY FREE
♪ HE WALKS THE WALK
♪ HE TALKS THE TALK
♪ RAY'S YOUNG SON'S
♪ A CHIP OFF THE BLOCK
♪ HE RIGHTS WRONG, FIGHTS WRONG
♪ HE'S LOOKING FOR HIS DAD
♪ ALL NIGHT LONG
♪ BUT IT'S GETTING BAD
♪ HE CAN'T FIND HIS DAD
♪ AND NOW HE'S GETTING MAD
♪ MAD SCIENTIST WAS INSANE
♪ WANTS TO DRILL INTO
♪ OUR HERO'S BRAIN
♪ SO HE CAN GET THE SECRETS
♪ THAT IT CONTAINS
♪ SECRET, SECRETS
♪ SECRET, SECRETS
♪ SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ SECRET AGENT
♪ ( gunfire )
♪ CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET... ♪♪
( rumbling )
( rodent squeaking )
( helicopter flies overhead )
POWER...
YOU ALL WANT POWER.
YOU CAN HAVE IT.
THIS WILL MAKE YOU UNTOUCHABLE.
ON SALE FOR TONIGHT ONLY,
I HAVE A ONE-OF-A-KIND TOOL.
IT DOESN'T SLICE, IT DOESN'T
DICE, BUT IT CAN BE YOURS--
FOR A PRICE.
( rodent squeaking )
( helicopter flies overhead )
( squeaking continues )
UNNHH!
UNNH!!!
( shouts in Arabic )
( device beeps )
( Arabic)
( whistling )
HUH.
( crackling, beeping )
WRECKS.
BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?
DON'T TOUCH,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
( growling )
IN THE SAME WAY THE LONG BOW,
GUN POWDER, AND THE GLORIOUS
ATOMIC BOMB CHANGED THE BALANCE
OF POWER IN THEIR TIME,
SO WILL THIS WEAPON IN OURS.
( gun beeping )
( excited murmuring )
PARDON ME, SIR.
SECURITY CHECK.
PLEASE STEP THIS WAY.
BUT I AM LATE!
SECURITY HERE IS RIDICULOUS!
YOU'RE RIGHT, SIR.
IT'S SHOCKING.
AAAAAH!
SLEEPING ON DUTY.
I'M GONNA HAVE TO STRIP YOU
OF YOUR RANK.
THIS PRODUCT IS
A LIMITED EDITION.
THERE IS ONLY ONE.
THAT IS ALL ITS LATE CREATOR
HAD TIME FOR BEFORE HIS
UNFORTUNATE DEMISE.
( Wrecks chuckles )
Woman: OUR WORLD IS STILL
RULED BY THE LAW OF THE JUNGLE--
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.
AND TONIGHT, ONE OF YOU
WILL PROVE HIMSELF MORE FIT
THAN THE OTHERS.
THERE ARE MANY WAYS
TO SHOOT A MANNEQUIN.
I AM NOT IMPRESSED.
AHA. I SEE THAT YOU
ARE MORE INTERESTED IN
BREATHING TARGETS?
VERY WELL.
( gun beeps )
( zapping, whirring )
Man: NO, SHE WOULD NOT...
AH.
OH!
BRIGHT LIGHTS. BEAUTIFUL.
MY SON'S POP GUN
COULD DO AS MUCH.
All: OH!
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO
NEED A RIDE HOME, SHEIK.
TONIGHT THE BIDDING WILL BEGIN
AT...
OH, SHALL WE SAY TEN...
BILLION?
FOLLOW ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
AFTER DINNER,
THE BIDDING WILL BEGIN!
GENERAL?
( excited chatter )
NICE SHADES.
SCRATCH RESISTANT?
AHHH.
Man: KEEP DOWN.
( foreign language chatter )
(speaking Russian): GENERAL?
HA! (mumbles in fake Russian)
( Russian )
MM-HMM. (mumbles )
( Russian )
GUARDS!
( growls )
( gunfire )
( gunfire, shouting )
HUH?
( gunfire )
( clicking; gun empty )
NICE SHOOTING.
( growls )
BRING HIM TO ME.
OHHH.....HO HO!
( beeps )
( gunfire )
OHH! HOW COULD YOU HAVE
LET HIM ESCAPE?!
OHH! WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M SORRY.
AND?
WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
OKAY.
I WANT YOU TO FIND THAT MAN
AND BRING ME THE WEAPON!
AND WRECKS, DO YOU THINK
YOU COULD POSSIBLY KILL HIM
NEXT TIME? HMM?
OH, YEAH.
( kids chattering )
♪ WOKE UP THIS MORNING
♪ THREW THE CLOCK
♪ ACROSS MY BED
♪ THE PARTY FROM THE WEEKEND
♪ STILL RUNNING IN MY HEAD... ♪
HEY, JEREMY, WANT TO GET IN
ON A LITTLE BET ON THE GAME?
I'LL GIVE YOU 5-1 ODDS--
AGAINST US.
NO, THANKS, SLY.
HEY, IT'S A GOOD BET. WE'RE
GONNA GET OUR BUTTS KICKED.
Coach: GO!
Kid: RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN!
HIT THE RELAY MAN!
STRAIGHT IN!
SAFE!
THEN AGAIN, MAYBE NOT.
YES!
DID YOU SEE THAT?
GOOD RUN.
DON'T WORRY. HE'LL BE HERE.
WHY SHOULD THIS TIME
BE ANY DIFFERENT?
( tires screeching )
( honks horn )
WHOA!
♪ BA-BA-BAH ♪
( horns honking )
♪ I HATE MONDAYS
♪ NO REGARD FOR TUESDAYS
♪ GETTING OVER HUMP DAYS...
( deep sigh )
HEY, JEREMY! HE MADE IT!
OOPS.
AAH.
( chuckles )
( crowd cheering on teams )
HI, GUYS.
WHAT A CLOD.
SUPERDAD HAS ARRIVED!
IS THAT YOUR DAD, SON?
YES, SIR.
COME JOIN THE GAME, DAD!
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
A GOOD IDEA.
AW, COME ON.
OH, NO.
SORRY I'M LATE, SON.
IT'S OKAY.
ONE DOWN NOW, ONE DOWN.
YO! CHASE!
COMIN' YOUR WAY!
DON'T HURT YOURSELF!
( laughs )
HEY, KIDS! YOU BETTER
COME ON IN AND HELP OUT RAY!
OH...
I DID IT!
I GOT IT! I DID IT!
DID WE WIN?
( happy chatter )
I DID IT!
HA HA HA!
NO! I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!
DID YOU SEE, JEREMY?
I DID IT! HA HA HA!
WAIT UP! WHOO!
Ray: HEY, GOOD CATCH, HUH?
(flat) YEAH.
GREAT ONE, DAD.
DON'T DO THAT TOO OFTEN.
IT WAS GOOD.
I JUST WISH...
MOM COULD HAVE SEEN IT.
I KNOW, SON.
I MISS HER, TOO.
DAD?
YEAH?
NEVER MIND.
WHAT?
HOW COME WE NEVER GO OUT
FOR PIZZA WITH THE GANG ANYMORE?
I MEAN, WE USED TO.
I TOLD YOU, JEREMY,
I HAVE TO MAKE A DELIVERY.
( toy train whistle blowing )
GOOD AFTERNOON, JEREMY-SAN.
HELLO, MR. YAMATA.
BASEBALL GAME EXCELLENT?
I MADE A GOOD CATCH.
EVEN ONE-LEGGED MAN
SOMETIMES KICK BUTT.
( laughs )
ANY PROBLEMS, JEREMY?
HE DIDN'T SHOW UP
UNTIL THE END.
AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO
GO OUT FOR PIZZA.
HE PROMISED,
THEN WENT BACK ON IT.
AHA. (dialing phone)
(phone ringing )
( beep )
( beep )
( communications chatter )
GENERAL ANDERSON.
CHASE HERE. I'M LEAVING
THE ITEM AT BASE CAMP, SIR.
CHASE, YOU MUST STAY WITH
THE ITEM UNTIL YOU CAN
RENDEZVOUS WITH ONE OF OUR
AGENTS AT 1400 HOURS.
EVE AND HER CRONIES WERE SEEN
ENTERING THE COUNTRY.
INTEL INFORMS US THAT
THEY MAY BE ON TO YOUR LOCATION.
DIDN'T TAKE HER LONG.
HMM. DOES IT EVER?
WELL, UH...
THERE'S A SLIGHT PROBLEM, SIR.
A PROBLEM?
MY SON IS WITH ME NOW.
YOUR SON?!
YOU KNOW, JEREMY,
WHEN YOUR MAMA DIED,
VERY HARD ON YOUR PAPA.
YOU THINK HE NOT MISS HER
AS MUCH AS YOU?
HE WAS NEVER HOME ANYWAY.
HE WAS ALWAYS OFF AT SOME
STUPID TOY CONVENTION
OR SOMETHING.
HE WASN'T EVEN AT HOME
WHEN SHE DIED.
JEREMY,
HE NEEDS YOU NOW.
I DON'T THINK SO.
WELL, YOU THINK AGAIN.
HE HAS NO ONE ELSE.
DAD?
WOW! WHAT IS THAT?
NOTHING.
NO, IT'S COOL.
IT'S A NEW TOY, RIGHT?
YEAH, RIGHT.
CAN I SEE IT?
NO, SON.
BUT...
OKAY. YOU CAN LOOK,
BUT DON'T TOUCH.
IT'S ONLY A PROTOTYPE.
WHAT'S IT DO?
LIKE, SMOKE? LIGHTS? NOISES?
IT MUST DO SOMETHING.
JEREMY, NO! I TOLD YOU
NOT TO TOUCH IT.
I WASN'T GONNA HURT IT.
LET'S JUST PUT IT AWAY
FOR NOW, SON.
COME ON, SON, WE GOTTA GO.
GOT YOUR SEATBELT ON?
YEAH. GOOD.
( tires screech )
( engine revving )
SCOOTCH TO THE FRONT
OF YOUR SEAT, JEREMY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT DO THESE GUYS WANT?!
THE TOY BUSINESS,
IT'S CUT-THROAT.
SLIDE TO THE FRONT OF
YOUR SEAT, SON!
JUST DO IT!
NOW REACH IN THE GLOVE BOX.
YOU'LL FIND A TINY BUTTON.
PUSH IT THREE TIMES, PAUSE,
AND THEN TWICE AGAIN.
( beeping )
( horn honking )
( beeping )
( gun cocks )
HANG ON!
AAAH!
WOW! WHERE'D YOU LEARN
TO DRIVE LIKE THAT?
LIKE WHAT?
HUH? HUH?!
( beeping )
( shouting )
DAMN!
DAMN!
WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.
DAMN!
( evil chuckle )
JEREMY, GET OUT OF THE CAR.
GO. HIDE. DON'T COME OUT
UNTIL YOU KNOW THEY'RE GONE.
BUT DAD--
TAKE THIS. KEEP IT WITH YOU.
GO!
YOU CAN TRUST MAX SIMPSON!
( car alarm )
( chuckles )
IT AIN'T HERE.
( tires screeching )
( chuckling )
SOMEBODY HELP!
( growls )
HEEEEEEELP!
WHOA!
( growls )
UNHH! OHH!
HA HA HA!
ARRGGHH!!!
HEY, DAD?
DAD...
DAD?
Man: IS HE THERE?
Man 2: THE KID'S
NOT HERE YET.
YOU GOTTA FIND HIM.
( kids laughing )
I'M ON IT.
Jeremy: IT'S TRUE!
ALL RIGHT. AND THEN YOUR DAD
WENT ZOOMING DOWN THE HILL
AT THE CARS AND LOST
ANOTHER ROCKET, AND
THE CARS EXPLODED.
NO, HE CRASHED.
BLAM! RIGHT INTO
A STREETLAMP!
NO! INTO A PARKED CAR!
THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU!
YOU FLOATED AWAY
IN A BALLOON.
LANDED ON IT.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS BELIEVE ME?
WELL, COME ON, JEREMY--
HEY! YOU STAY OUT OF THIS.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE.
YEAH. NO GIRLS ALLOWED.
SHUT UP, BIG BROTHER!
YOU SHUT UP, LITTLE SISTER.
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
HEY! HEY! HEY!
EVERYBODY SHUT UP!
OKAY, I'LL PROVE IT.
THERE'S ONE OF THE FAKE COPS
OUTSIDE SPYING ON THE HOUSE.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
COME ON, COME ON! LET'S GO!
COME ON!
ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, BART!
GO FASTER! COME ON!
GO! GO! GO! GO!
LET'S GO!
COME ON.
SHH.
COME ON.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
Sly: I DON'T SEE ANYBODY.
HE WAS THERE.
WELL, MAYBE HE LEFT.
YEAH, WITH THE GIANT
TEDDY BEAR.
FORGET IT. JUST FORGET
I SAID ANYTHING.
JEREMY.
THERE. THAT'S PROBABLY
YOUR DAD NOW.
HUH? WHOA!
SHH! SHH!
QUIET. QUIET. SHH.
LET'S GO.
COME ON.
WAIT UP.
GO! GO! GO!
HANG UP AND THEN DIAL
YOU'RE OPERATOR...
( beeping )
( phone continues beeping )
OH, MAN, THIS IS WRECKED.
( hangs up phone )
HEY, MAN, SORRY WE DIDN'T
BELIEVE YOU.
DON'T WORRY.
WE'LL FIND YOUR DAD.
I WONDER WHAT THEY WANTED?
THEY WERE SEARCHING
FOR THE GUN.
WHAT GUN?
A PROTOTYPE TOY RAY GUN
MY DAD HAD.
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT.
THOSE GUYS MUST HAVE BEEN FROM
A RIVAL TOY COMPANY.
IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE
THE LASER GUN IS, THEN MAYBE
YOUR DAD GOT AWAY.
OR MAYBE HE'S DEAD.
SHUT UP! YOU ARE SUCH A DORK!
SORRY, JER.
IT'S OKAY.
LOOK, IF HE DID GET AWAY,
AND HE'S NOT HERE,
WHERE WOULD HE BE?
TOY STORE!
Mr. Yamata: YES, SIR.
I UNDERSTAND.
I'LL TAKE OVER. OKAY, BYE.
( hangs up phone )
EASY. I'M JUST AN OLD MAN.
I TOLD YOU, I'M AN OLD MAN.
OH-- OH--
WHOO-HOO!
ARRGGHH!
AAAAH!
Man: HEY! WATCH IT!
WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT!
( chatter, laughter )
OKAY.
DAD?
WHAT HAPPENED HERE?
DAD?
THIS PLACE IS A WRECK.
MR. CHASE? DAD?
MR. CHASE? DAD?
MR. CHASE?
All: OH!
HEY!
AAAH!
OHHH!
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO ARE YOU?
I'M JEREMY CHASE.
MY DAD RUNS THIS TOY STORE.
UM, WHO ARE YOU?
SHIGEO YAMATA.
I'M LOOKING FOR--
( screams )
GRANDFATHER!
( dog barking )
Guard: COME ON THROUGH.
HUNGRY, CHAMP?
YEAH.
GREAT CATCH TODAY, DAD!
THANKS, SON.
SO, DAD...
WHERE IS IT?
WHERE'S WHAT?
WHERE'S THE WEAPON, DAD?!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT!
WHERE IS IT! WHERE IS IT!!!
( screams )
WHERE IS IT? WHERE IS IT?
EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.
WHERE IS IT?!
IT'S MY BEST CREATION YET.
VIRTUAL REALITY SIMULATIONS
COUPLED WITH MIND-ALTERING DRUGS
MAKE THE EXPERIENCE SEEM
COMPLETELY REAL TO HIM.
MODERN TECHNOLOGY
AT ITS FINEST.
WHY ISN'T IT WORKING?
HE'S FIGHTING THE DRUG.
I-- I DON'T KNOW HOW,
I'VE TRIPLED THE DOSAGE.
HE SHOULD BE BABBLING
EVERY SECRET HE KNOWS.
THE TECHNOLOGY, IT'S STILL
IN DEVELOPMENT.
WELL, LIVE SUBJECTS ARE
SO HARD TO COME BY.
IF ONLY I COULD DRILL
INTO HIS BRAIN AND GET
DIRECT EXPOSURE.
WAKE HIM UP.
TRY AGAIN.
AND DON'T FAIL ME THIS TIME.
SPEAK.
IT'S ME.
I'M NEAR THE TOY STORE.
DO YOU HAVE THE WEAPON?
THERE WERE, UM,
COMPLICATIONS.
I DON'T BELIEVE
YOU LOST THEM AGAIN!
OHH! WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M SORRY.
AND?
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'M SENDING SCARLETTI.
HE'S THE BEST AT
THIS SORT OF THING.
EXCUSE ME, FOLKS,
COMING THROUGH.
ALL RIGHT, ON THREE.
ONE, TWO, THREE.
SHIGEO, TAKE CARE OF
YOURSELF. I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
DO YOU WANT TO CALL
YOUR MOM AND DAD?
LIVE WITH GRANDFATHER.
JUST COME FROM JAPAN.
WELL, I GUESS YOU BETTER
COME WITH US, THEN.
( siren )
HI. MY NAME'S BART.
OH.
( all laugh )
I'M ROSALIE.
HMPH. HMPH.
I'M SLY.
WELL, I'VE BEEN THINKING,
IF THEY WANT THIS RAY GUN
SO BAD, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD
FIND IT OURSELVES.
I MEAN, AT LEAST WE'LL HAVE
SOMETHING TO BARGAIN WITH.
THEN WE'LL HAVE TO
TRACK DOWN THE CAR.
THE POLICE IMPOUND LOT!
IF THEY FOUND A WRECKED CAR ON
THE STREET, THERE'S WHERE
THEY'D TAKE IT.
GUYS, COME ON.
WAIT UP. SLY!
IT'S A SILVER VOLVO.
ALL RIGHT, SPREAD OUT.
THERE! RIGHT THERE!
( beeping )
THAT'S COOL!
ALL RIGHT!
THAT'S SO NEAT!
UH, GUYS.
SHUT THE DOOR! HURRY!
( panicky chatter )
GO! GO!
DO SOMETHING!
WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?
HE'S COMING!
( Rex chuckling )
WHY NOT START CAR?
MOVE UP, MAN!
( ignition stutters )
GO! GO! GO!
AAAAH!
GO!!!
AAAAH!
ARRGH! ARRGHH!
COME ON! GET OUT!
COME ON! RUN!
HURRY! COME ON!
AAAAAH!
( all shouting )
I'M COMING, I'M COMING.
( shouting, screaming )
THANKS, GUYS.
( laughing )
I THOUGHT WE WERE ALL
DEAD MEAT.
THANKS AGAIN.
( Japanese )
DON'T TOUCH THE MUSTACHE?
NO, NO, NO. ( Japanese )
IT MEAN, "YOU'RE WELCOME"
IN JAPANESE.
( tires screech )
( all scream )
HA HA HA HA!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
OH, NO.
GIVE ME THE GUN.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
I'LL MEET YOU IN THE CLUBHOUSE
IN AN HOUR.
GOTCHA NOW, YOU LITTLE BRAT.
AAAAAH!
All: YES! ALL RIGHT!
YEAH!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
HEY, KIDS!
GET DOWN!
GET DOWN!
COME ON, GET IN THE VAN!
IT'S OKAY. COME ON.
RUN AROUND.
LET'S GO, GUYS!
GET IN. QUICKLY.
Jeremy: CLOSE THE DOOR!
ARE YOU KIDS OKAY?
YEAH.
COOL.
IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO YOU,
YOUR DAD WOULD KILL ME.
DAD?
YOU MUST BE MAX SIMPSON!
AT YOUR SERVICE.
YOU MUST BE JEREMY, HUH?
I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU,
KID.
THESE ARE MY FRIENDS ROSALIE,
BART, SHIGEO.
NICE TO MEET YOU ALL.
OUR PLEASURE.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
( beeping )
SO COME ON IN, MAKE
YOURSELVES AT HOME.
COME ON, COME ON.
COME ON.
( disarms alarm )
SIT DOWN.
SO, KIDS...DO YOU LIKE MAGIC?
WATCH THIS.
TA-DA!
WOW!
NEAT!
HA HA HA! NO, WAIT,
NO APPLAUSE. THERE'S MORE.
HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS.
THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT.
READY?
NOTHIN'.
READY...
THAT IS SO COOL!
HA HA! WHAT? NOTHIN'.
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
( Ray gasping )
YOU WERE NEVER THERE FOR US!
NEVER!
YOU KILLED HER, YOU KNOW?
SHE DIED OF LONELINESS.
I HATE YOU!
JEREMY--
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
BUT I'LL FORGIVE YOU IF YOU
TELL ME WHERE YOU HID
THE WEAPON.
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT...
HIS WILL IS TOO STRONG.
IF ONLY I COULD DRILL...
DRILL, DRILL, DRILL!
THAT'S ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT
IS DRILLING!
RAISE THE INTENSITY LEVEL TO...
MAXIMUM.
THEN WE'LL SEE HOW LONG
HE LASTS.
SO IS THIS YOUR HOUSE?
OH, NO, NOT EXACTLY.
IT'S WHAT WE CALL A SAFE HOUSE.
IT'S WHERE WE BRING PEOPLE
WE NEED TO PROTECT--
LIKE YOU LITTLE GUYS.
THERE'S SOME PRETTY BAD PEOPLE
AFTER YOU.
BECAUSE OF THE TOY.
TOY?
OH! YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU?
KNOW WHAT?
WHOA.
NO. JEREMY, YOUR DAD DOESN'T
RUN A TOY STORE. I MEAN,
HE DOES, BUT IT'S SORT
OF A COVER.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
HMM.
WE WORK FOR AN ORGANIZATION
CALLED "SHADOW" -- YOUR DAD,
MYSELF, AND YOUR GRANDFATHER.
NO WAY.
WAY.
AND THIS WEAPON, KIDS,
IT'S NOT A TOY.
IT'S THE REAL THING, AND THERE'S
A LOT OF BAD PEOPLE TRYING
TO GET THEIR HANDS ON IT.
IS MY DAD OKAY?
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I DO KNOW THAT I CAN HELP
HIM IF YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE
THE WEAPON IS.
OKAY. SLY HAS IT.
SLY?
YEAH, ANOTHER FRIEND.
WE'RE MEETING HIM AT THE
CLUBHOUSE IN AN HOUR.
THE CLUBHOUSE. WHERE'S--
IT'S THE OLD BOMB SHELTER
AT MY HOUSE.
AH. GOOD. WELL,
THAT'LL HAVE TO DO.
SIR, WOULD IT BE OKAY
IF I CALL GRANDFATHER
AT THE HOSPITAL?
I AM VERY MUCH WORRIED
ABOUT HIM.
YEAH, SURE, GO ON.
WELL, LOOK, I HAVE TO REPORT IN,
SO I'LL USE THE PHONE
IN THE VAN.
I'M GONNA SET THE ALARM...
( beeping )
DON'T GO OUT THE DOOR.
YOU KIDS ARE GONNA BE OKAY,
WON'T YOU?
YES, SIR.
GOOD.
UM, BACK IN A FLASH.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
WHERE'D HE GO?
OH, MY GOSH!
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE...
YOU'RE GOING TO BE MY
GREATEST CREATION EVER.
WHERE IS IT?! WHERE...
YOU WOULDN'T BE FAKING,
WOULD YOU?
( video continues )
GUESS NOT.
THAT HURT.
OOH.
( watch beeps )
( phone rings )
DAD?
JEREMY. YOU OKAY, SON?
YEAH, DAD, I'M FINE.
ARE YOU OKAY?
I'M FINE. LET ME TALK
TO MAX.
HE'S NOT HERE.
OKAY. TELL HIM THAT EVE IS
LOCATED AT THE ABANDONED ASYLUM.
GOT THAT?
YEAH, I GOT THAT, DAD.
AT THE ASYLUM. WHAT'S GOING ON?
ARE YOU OKAY?
SORRY, JEREMY, BUT--
DAD? DAD?
DAD, ARE YOU THERE?
DAD? DAD?
OH, WHAT AN INTERESTING
LITTLE TOY.
DAD? DAD, YOU OKAY?
HELLO?
UH, DAD?
OH, JEREMY!
WHO IS THIS?
THIS IS A FRIEND OF YOUR
FATHER'S, DARLING. EVE.
WHERE'S MY DAD?
OH, HE'S, UM, LYING AROUND
SOMEWHERE.
YOU'RE NOT HIS FRIEND.
THAT'S RIGHT, BOY,
I'M HIS WORST NIGHTMARE.
NOW LISTEN CAREFULLY.
THERE IS THIS MAN WHO WORKS
FOR ME, HE'S A DOCTOR,
ONLY HE DOESN'T HEAL PEOPLE.
NO, QUITE THE OPPOSITE.
NOW, HE TELLS ME HE WOULD LIKE
TO TRY A NEW EXPERIMENT
ON YOUR DADDY, ONE THAT INVOLVES
DRILLING INTO THE BRAIN.
IF THE WEAPON ISN'T IN MY
POSSESSION BY SIX O'CLOCK,
I'M GOING TO LET HIM DRILL,
SWEETIE.
JEREMY, NO!
AH, I DON'T HAVE IT.
THEN YOU'D BETTER FIND IT,
BOY!
OR DON'T YOU CARE ENOUGH ABOUT
YOUR DADDY TO SAVE HIS LIFE?
( hangs up )
SPEAK.
OH, EXCELLENT!
MOVE IN AND TAKE THE BRATS.
THEY'RE GONNA KILL MY DAD
IN TWO HOURS.
WE'VE GOTTA TELL--
DON'T MOVE!
( alarm wailing )
( Rosalie whimpering )
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING
FOR YOU KIDS.
WOW!
All: YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
SHIGEO! WAY TO GO! YES!
UNHH....
LET'S GET SOMETHING
TO TIE HIM UP.
I MUST GO SEE GRANDFATHER.
OKAY. IF WE NEED YOU,
WE'LL LEAVE A MESSAGE ON
THE COMPUTER AT THE CLUBHOUSE.
BE CAREFUL, SHIGEO.
( laughs )
YES, MR. PRESIDENT.
WE'VE JUST LOCATED THEM, SIR,
THERE'S A TEAM ON THE WAY.
YES, SIR. OTHER THAN
RAYMOND CHASE, MAX SIMPSON
IS OUR BEST MAN.
IF HE SAYS THEY'RE THERE,
SIR, THEY'RE THERE.
COME ON.
GO! NOW!
MOVE! MOVE! EVERYBODY IN!
UH, MR. PRESIDENT.
THEY'RE NOT THERE, SIR.
( keyboard tapping )
HOW'S IT GOING?
GIVE ME A BREAK, HUH?
THEY DON'T EXACTLY MAKE IT EASY
TO TAP INTO GOVERNMENT FILES,
YOU KNOW.
I'M SORRY. I JUST....
WANT TO KNOW WHO MY DAD
REALLY IS.
( Sly chuckling )
YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS HACKER.
"AGENT RAYMOND CHASE.
JOINED SHADOW ORGANIZATION 1984.
1986: LED COVERT OPERATION
IN ANGOLA.
1988: COMMENDATIONS FOR
NEGOTIATING MIDDLE EAST
PEACE TREATY.
1990: SINGLE-HANDEDLY CAPTURED
TERRORIST ORGANIZATION
SHINING STAR.
TRADECRAFT: THIRD DEGREE
BLACK BELT, AIKIDO,
CS-12 WEAPONS TRAINING.
DISGUISE EXPERT.
JEREMY, YOUR DAD ISN'T
A DWEEB AT ALL!
NOT AT ALL.
DO YOU THINK MR. SIMPSON'S
GONNA COME GET US?
I'LL SEE IF I CAN FIND
ANYTHING ON MR. MAX SIMPSON.
ARE YOU OKAY?
YEAH.
IT'S JUST THAT...
WHAT?
THIS WHOLE THING WITH MY DAD,
I MEAN, HE'S LIKE A WHOLE
DIFFERENT PERSON,
LIKE I NEVER KNEW HIM.
IT'S LIKE HE'S LIED TO ME
MY WHOLE LIFE.
WELL, MAYBE HE DID THAT
BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
IT'S SORT OF LIKE THE WAY
CLARK KENT NEVER TOLD LOIS LANE
HE WAS SUPERMAN.
IF HE DID, THAT WOULD PUT HER
IN DANGER, AND THE BAD GUYS
WOULD GO TO HER TO GET TO HIM.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOM?
WHAT ABOUT HER?
DON'T YOU THINK SHE KNEW?
SHE MUST HAVE.
SHE DIDN'T TELL YOU EITHER,
BUT SHE LOVED YOU, RIGHT?
OF COURSE.
WELL?
I THINK YOUR DAD'S
PRETTY SPECIAL.
I MEAN, HE MUST BE TO HAVE
A GREAT KID LIKE YOU.
( kissing noises )
OH! SHUT UP!
HA HA HA HA!
WHOA! GOT IT!
MR. MAX SIMPSON,
COME TO PAPA.
THERE HE IS.
WHERE?
LOOK THERE!
MR. SIMPSON!
JEREMY! HEY, COOL.
GOD BLESS THE RUSKIES, HUH?
HA!
I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU,
LITTLE BUDDY, HUH?
ARE YOU OKAY?
YES. SOME GUY CAME TO THE
HOUSE AND SHIGEO KARATED HIM
AND EVE CALLED AND WE BOOKED
AND SHE'S GOT MY DAD!
WHOA, WHOA, SLOW DOWN,
SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN.
YOU SLY?
YES, SIR.
YOU GOT THE WEAPON?
I STASHED IT SOMEPLACE SAFE.
GOOD MAN. ALL RIGHT.
FIRST THING: LET'S GO GET IT.
THIS WAY. COME ON.
COME ON.
OH...WHERE'S SHIGEO,
BY THE WAY?
HE'S AT THE HOSPITAL
WITH HIS GRANDFATHER.
HOW'S HE DOIN'?
OKAY, I GUESS. MR. SIMPSON,
LOOK, WE ONLY GOT TWO HOURS
TO FIND MY DAD, TWO HOURS,
AND THAT WOMAN IS GOING TO--
( all gasp )
HA HA HA HA!
INTO THE VAN, KIDDIES.
MOVE IT!
( kids screaming )
HA HA!
MY DAD SAID WE COULD
TRUST YOU.
NO, YOUR DAD SAID YOU
COULD TRUST MAX SIMPSON.
I'M AFRAID I HAD TO BORROW
HIS NAME FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
WHO ARE YOU?
VINCENT SCARLETTI
AT YOUR SERVICE.
AND YOU, YOU-- YOU--
YOU CAN CALL ME VINCE.
NEVER JUDGE A CROOK
BY HIS COVER.
HA HA HA HA!
BUT YOU SAVED US FROM HIM.
YOU WERE SET UP, KID.
WE HAD TO MAKE YOU TRUST US.
GET ON WITH IT.
RIGHT.
WHERE TO?
OVER MY DEAD BODY.
DON'T SAY THAT. I'M AFRAID
WRECKS HERE WOULD RATHER
ENJOY THE IDEA.
( growls )
TELL HIM.
TELL HIM.
TELL ME.
THIS WHERE YOU LEFT IT?
NICE NEIGHBORHOOD.
( whistling )
COME ON!
MOVE IT. MOVE IT.
( whistling )
TOLD YOU I LEFT IT
SOMEWHERE SAFE.
WHOA!
OKAY, BACK OFF OR I MELT
THE LITTLE BRAT'S FACE.
OOH!
COME ON! COME ON!
I'M RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU!
COME ON!
EWW!
YOU GOT IT.
( thugs laughing )
WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW,
BIG GUY?
PRETTY FUNNY, HUH?
GET HIM!
THAT'S IT. OBVIOUSLY
WE CAN'T TRUST ANYBODY.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
WE CAN DO.
WHAT'S THAT?
WE'LL NEED SHIGEO.
CAN WE GET HIM A MESSAGE?
I CAN EMAIL ONE OVER
TO THE CLUBHOUSE
ON THE COMPUTER.
WHAT IS IT WE'RE PLANNING
ON DOING?
BUT IF SHIGEO CAN READ IT,
ANYBODY CAN.
HMM. YEAH.
WHAT ABOUT A PASSWORD?
EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME--
I GOT IT. WHAT'S THAT?
TELL HIM TO MEET US AT MY
DAD'S TOY STORE IN A HALF HOUR.
HOLD IT! WHAT EXACTLY IS IT
WE'RE PLANNING ON DOING?!
WE'RE GONNA RESCUE
MY DAD OURSELVES.
GENTLEMEN, AND ROSALIE,
CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS.
♪ YOU'RE ON A MISSION....
( song continues )
ALL RIGHT,
YOU GOT THE MESSAGE!
DID YOU ERASE IT?
DOESN'T MATTER. IT'S IN CODE,
WHO COULD READ IT?
ANY LUCK?
NOT YET.
I THOUGHT THESE WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE THE BEST COMPUTER HACKERS
IN THE WORLD, GENERAL.
THEY ARE, MAX.
IT'S JUST A HIGHLY
UNUSUAL PASS CODE.
HMM.
"THANK YOU, SHIGEO-SAN."
THAT'S QUITE A RIDDLE.
WHERE IS IT, DAD?!
WHERE IS IT, DAD?!
WHERE...
( growls )
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO!
WRECKS!
BE NICE.
THERE'LL BE TIME FOR THAT LATER.
( video continues )
GO! GO! GO!
SHH! SHH!
( urgent whispering )
MOVE IT!
MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!
COME ON!
COME ON, BART, HURRY!
OKAY, WE GOT A PLAN.
WHAT WE GOT DO IS--
HEY, GUYS!
( all groan )
( walkie-talkies feed back )
SORRY.
LET'S MOVE.
GO! GO! GO! SHHH!
STAY CLOSE.
SHH!
SLOW. SLOW...
OHH, GUARDS!
LET'S GO AROUND BACK.
( buzzing )
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING
WE CAN DO.
GO HOME?
DIG.
WE'RE ABSOLUTELY AWARE
OF THE URGENCY.
NOT YET, MR. PRESIDENT.
YES, SIR, I'LL LET YOU KNOW.
ANYTHING?
NO, NOTHING.
WE'RE LOSING PRECIOUS
TIME HERE.
AS SOON AS THE CODE BREAKS,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE
READY TO MOVE.
YOUR TEAM READY?
EVERY MAN I'VE GOT
IS ON THIS.
LISTEN TO ME, GENERAL, YOU'VE
GOT TO UNDERSTAND, WE'VE ALL
OWED RAYMOND CHASE AT
ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.
YOU JUST TELL US WHERE.
GET ME AN OUTSIDE LINE.
Video: WHERE IS IT?!
WHERE IS IT?!
( video continues )
( electricity crackling )
COME ON. YOU CAN MAKE IT.
LET'S GET HIM.
YOU KNOW, IT TOOK US A LONG
TIME TO GET THROUGH THERE.
IF WE HAVE TO BOOK IN A HURRY,
WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
I GOT AN IDEA.
YOU GUYS GO ON AHEAD.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.
WE'VE ONLY GOT A FEW MINUTES
TILL SIX. WE GOTTA GO FAST.
BONSAI!
BONSAI!
BONSAI!
BONSAI!
BINGO!
I'VE GOT THE PASSWORDS!
"DON'T TOUCH THE MUSTACHE."
COME ON. HURRY.
IT'S LOCKED.
Man: JOHNNY, WE'RE GOING IN,
YOU STAY DOWN THERE.
I'M BUCKWHEAT.
VERIFY VOICE.
( beeping )
VOICE ANALYSIS CONFIRMED.
ACCESS GRANTED.
( door buzzes )
"DON'T TOUCH THE MUSTACHE."
WHAT KIND OF A PASS CODE
IS THAT?
IT'S JAPANESE FOR
"YOU'RE WELCOME."
SORT OF.
IT SAYS THEY'RE AT
THE OLD PRISON ASYLUM.
WHERE'S THAT?
I KNOW WHERE IT IS.
TEAMS ALPHA, BETA, DELTA...
SCRAMBLE NOW!
GO, GO, GO, GO!
( chatter )
GO!
SOMEONE'S COMING. HURRY!
I'M SPANKY. VERIFY VOICE.
VOICE ANALYSIS CONFIRMED.
ACCESS GRANTED.
( door buzzes )
Recording: I'M SPANKY.
VERIFY VOICE.
VOICE ANALYSIS CONFIRMED.
ACCESS GRANTED.
( door buzzes )
IT'S TIME.
GENTLEMEN, YOU MAY BEGIN.
BUT PLEASE, COULD YOU GET
RESULTS BEFORE HE DIES?
WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN' HERE?
( man drops to floor )
( Ray moaning in distance )
( moaning continues )
OH, GEEZ!
WAIT. WE CAN'T JUST GO
RUNNING IN THERE.
BUT IT'S MY DAD!
IT'S NOT GONNA DO YOUR DAD
ANY GOOD IF WE ALL GET CAUGHT.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, I GOT AN IDEA.
LISTEN...
( groaning )
WOULD YOU GET ON WITH IT?
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS.
( Ray groaning )
( drill whirring )
( groaning )
( loud popping )
FREEZE!
OR I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!
BACK OFF! DROP IT!
DAD! DAD?
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
DAD?
DADDY?
SON?
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
COME HERE, SON.
BUT I'M GLAD YOU DID.
YOU. SIT DOWN.
GO! GO!
LET ME HAVE THAT.
YOUR WEAPON. TWO FINGERS.
BACK UP.
NO!
AAAH!
( all laugh )
Eve: HOW WARM AND FUZZY.
DROP IT!
IT'S A FAMILY REUNION,
REALLY, ISN'T IT?
GET YOUR HANDS UP!
I'D LIKE NOTHING BETTER THAN
TO GET YOU ALL OUT OF MY HAIR.
RAY, YOU HAVE A VERY BRIGHT
BOY HERE.
VERY BRIGHT, INDEED.
WHERE'S THE WEAPON?!
AH! AH-AH-AH.
MY GUN IS REAL.
( beeping )
Eve: AND I'M RATHER KEEN
ON USING GUNS.
OH, BUT I HATE TO CLEAR UP
THE MESS.
SO WHY DON'T YOU MAKE MY LIFE
EASY AND COOPERATE?
YOU, TUBBY. RELEASE HIM.
SORRY. IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
HMM.
( karate yell )
YOU GUYS OKAY?
YEAH, YEAH.
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!
COME ON, GUYS.
UH, DAD, COME HERE.
SOLID.
WHOO!
SO NICE OF YOU TO
JOIN ME, BOYS.
DON'T DISAPPEAR AGAIN.
( alarm wails )
COME ON! COME ON!
( all shouting )
COME ON, KIDS, LET'S GO!
HURRY UP!
COME ON, MOVE IT!
MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
COME ON!
COME ON!
COME ON, LET'S GO!
( shouting )
( all groaning )
GET OFFA ME!
( alarm wailing )
HEY, THERE HE IS!
GET BACK, KIDS! HURRY!
( shouting )
WRECKS....
WHERE ARE YOU?
OHH.
WRECKS!
( groaning )
DOCTOR.
DOCTOR!
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I HATE YOU!
WHAT?
( mumbles )
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU,
I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!
YOU!
HMM.
AAAAHH!
HEEAH! HEEAH!
YEAH!
DAD, THIS WAY!
THERE WERE HARDLY ANY GUARDS
ON THE WAY IN!
OOPS.
LET'S GO BACK.
SOMEONE'S COMING.
AAAH!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA...!
ALL RIGHT, MAN!
LET'S MOVE!
ALFALFA, THEY'RE UP HERE!
WE'RE TRAPPED.
NEVER GIVE UP, SON.
WE'RE NOT BEAT YET.
THEN MAYBE THIS...
WOULD HELP?
YOU KIDS ARE UNBELIEVABLE.
All: YEAH!
Eve: CHASE, THERE IS
NO WAY OFF THE ROOF.
IT'S OVER. I HAVE 200 MEN
SURROUNDING THE BUILDING.
WELL, LET'S EVEN THE ODDS.
YES! YES!
( all shouting )
YEAH!
LET'S MOVE, GUYS.
OKAY. WE'VE ALL HAD
OUR LITTLE BIT OF FUN.
NOW, HAND ME THE WEAPON, OR...
THE BOY DIES.
NO!
DON'T DO IT, DAD.
DAD?
LET HIM GO.
HAND ME THE WEAPON. NOW.
AT THE SAME TIME.
OHH!
( clicking )
WHAT--
COME ON, KIDS!
IT'S ALL YOURS.
COME ON, GUYS.
( bad guys shouting )
TAKE 'EM OUT!
( gunfire )
PICK 'EM UP, PICK 'EM UP!
GO!
( gunfire )
( sirens )
( all shouting )
GO FOR IT! GO FOR IT!
( beeping )
OHH!
PICK 'EM UP! FASTER!
OHH!
GET READY, GET READY!
GO! GO!
OKAY, I SEE IT!
DIVE!
AAH!
DIVE!
YEAH!
DIVE!
WHOO!
BONSAI!
AAAH!
YEAH! WHOO!
YEAH!
WHOA!
HO HO HO!
YES! YES!
COME ON, GUYS,
LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
( sirens )
( chatter, shouting )
RAY! YOU OKAY?
YEAH. WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
SORRY, BUDDY.
DON'T BE.
I WAS IN GOOD HANDS.
YEAH, I KNOW.
GUESS I KIND OF BLEW
MY COVER, HUH?
MAYBE A LITTLE.
I LOVE YOU.
( muttering )
AGENT CHASE.
GENERAL.
WHERE'S THE WEAPON?
SHE HAS IT, SIR.
WHAT?! SHE HAS IT?!
SHE HAS IT-- FOR ANOTHER
30 SECONDS OR SO.
( beeping )
OHH....
OHH. OH...
AAAAAH!
( whimpering )
OHH!
I SET THE SELF-DESTRUCT.
YOU SET THE--?
HOLY COW!
GET THE KIDS OUT OF HERE!
MOVE! MOVE!
SCRAMBLE THE CHOPPER!
MOVE!
( Eve whimpering )
OH, WRECKS! WRECKS!
THANK GOD!
COME HERE. QUICK! QUICK!
HURRY UP, YOU IDIOT!
HURRY UP!
HIT IT, GUYS!
HIT THE CLEAR BUTTON.
HURRY.
( beeping )
( growling )
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
WHAT?!
NEAH.
NO! WRECKS. WRECKS.
RIGHT. RIGHT.
I'M SORRY.
AND?
OHH!
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
NOW, CLEAR THE WEAPON!
IT'S ON SELF-DESTRUCT!
WRECKS, WRECKS, WRECKS, WRECKS!
COME BACK HERE!
COME BACK HERE NOW! WRECKS!
WRECKS!
WRECKS, YOU'RE FIRED!
WHOA!
( laughing )
ALL RIGHT!
HO HO HO!
Bart: OH, BROTHER.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY SISTER IS
FINALLY INTERESTED IN A BOY.
YOU AGENTS GET TO THOSE
VEHICLES! I WANT THIS AREA
EVACUATED IN FIVE MINUTES!
WELL, SIMPSON,
MAYBE NEXT TIME.
LET'S MOVE IT OUT!
General: I WANT TO THANK
EVERYONE FOR COMING.
THIS HAS BEEN QUITE
AN ADVENTURE.
YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE TODAY:
TO HONOR THESE YOUNG PEOPLE
WHO HAVE DONE SO MUCH
FOR THEIR COUNTRY.
HEY, SOME OF YOU COULD TAKE
A LESSON FROM THESE KIDS.
( laughter )
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, ON BEHALF OF THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES,
I BESTOW UPON YOU CHILDREN
THE DISTINGUISHED INTELLIGENCE
CROSS FOR ACTION AND BRAVERY
ABOVE AND BEYOND
THE CALL OF DUTY.
GENTLEMEN...AND LADY...
WE SALUTE YOU.
( applause )
AH.
♪ HEY, WHAT'S THE WORD
♪ SAY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD
♪ YOU'RE DAD THE NERD'S
♪ BEEN CAPTURED BY A WOMAN
♪ NAMED EVE WHO YOU BETTER
♪ BELIEVE HAS SOMETHING NASTY
♪ UP HER SLEEVE
♪ SHE'S AN EVIL ONE
♪ DOING ANYTHING TO GET THAT GUN
♪ THE RAY GUN, RAY GUN
♪ RAY GUN, RAY
♪ HIS NAME IS RAY
♪ HE WEARS A TOUPEE
♪ WHAT HE TAKES HOME COULD
♪ BECOME A CLICHE, BUT BEHIND
♪ THAT TOOTHY, GOOFY GRIN
♪ IS A SECRET AGENT
♪ A TRAINED ASSASSIN
♪ ( gunshots )
♪ MAN IF HE STARTS FLEXIN'
♪ THOSE AWESOME PECS
♪ THEN YOU'D UNDERSTAND
♪ THE RESPECT HE COLLECTS
♪ FROM ALL THE EVIL-DOERS
♪ WHOSE PLANS HE WRECKS
♪ WRECK, WRECKS, WRECKS
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ AGENT CLUB, AGENT CLUB
♪ THEY CALL HIM WRECKS AND
♪ YOU BETTER START TO BEG IF YOU
♪ SEE HIM COMING AT YOU WITH
♪ HIS BAD METAL LEG
♪ HE'LL RUSH YOU
♪ HE'LL CRUSH YOU
♪ HE'LL TURN YOU INTO MUSH
♪ YOU SEE HIM COMIN'
♪ AND YOU BETTER RUN FAR
♪ OR THE WRECKS IS GONNA
♪ LEAVE YOU WITH ONE BIG SCAR
♪ SCAR, SCAR
♪ LIKE SCARFACE, IN A CAR CHASE
♪ RACIN' DOWN THE ROAD
♪ AT A BIZARRE PACE
♪ HE'S REAL UGLY
♪ MIGHTY SCARY GUY, GOING EVERY
♪ PLACE 'CAUSE HE'S KNOWN
♪ TO BE SLY, SLY, SLY
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ AGENT CLUB
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ DOO DOO DOO
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ AGENT CLUB, AGENT CLUB
♪ SLY, SHIGEO, ROSALIE AND BART
♪ ARE FOUR YOUNG PEOPLE
♪ WITH A WHOLE LOT OF HEART
♪ ONE IS A BEAUTY AND
♪ THE OTHER ONE'S SLICK
♪ SHIGEO BEATS THE BAD GUYS
♪ WITH A FINE KICK
♪ YEEAH! YEEAH! YEEAH!
♪ YEAH, THAT BART KID
♪ HE'S A SMART KID, WHEN ANYONE
♪ ATTACKS HE MAKES TRACKS, KID
♪ WHEN THE OTHER KIDS IN
♪ THE PACK PUSH THEMSELVES
♪ TO THE MAX, MAX
♪ MAX SIMPSON, NO WIMP, SON
♪ AND ON THE CHARM
♪ HE NEVER SKIMPS NONE
♪ WHENEVER THERE'S TROUBLE
♪ HE'S THERE ON THE DOUBLE
♪ IS HE A GOOD GUY
♪ OR SOMETHING OTHER?
♪ NEVER JUDGE A CROOK
♪ BY ITS COVER
♪ MY COVER, MY COVER
♪ YO, COVER ME, YOUNG JEREMY
♪ I'M GOING TO GET DADDY FREE
♪ HE WALKS THE WALK
♪ HE TALKS THE TALK
♪ RAY'S YOUNG SON'S
♪ A CHIP OFF THE BLOCK
♪ HE RIGHTS WRONG, FIGHTS WRONG
♪ HE'S LOOKING FOR HIS DAD
♪ ALL NIGHT LONG
♪ BUT IT'S GETTING BAD
♪ HE CAN'T FIND HIS DAD
♪ AND NOW HE'S GETTING MAD
♪ MAD SCIENTIST WAS INSANE
♪ WANTS TO DRILL INTO
♪ OUR HERO'S BRAIN
♪ SO HE CAN GET THE SECRETS
♪ THAT IT CONTAINS
♪ SECRET, SECRETS
♪ SECRET, SECRETS
♪ SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ SECRET AGENT
♪ ( gunfire )
♪ CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET AGENT CLUB
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET, THE SECRET
♪ THE SECRET... ♪♪