The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015) - full transcript

MAN: (SINGING) I came in
last night about half past ten

That baby of mine
wouldn't let me in

So movin' on over

Rockin' on over

Move over, little doll
The mean old dog is coming in

Breathe the air,
Mrs. Donnelly!

I'm eating dust.

The wind in your hair!

Put the bloody top back on, Sonny!
(CHUCKLES)

I will not hear
your negativity.

Madam, this is Route 66



and we are most assuredly
getting our kicks!

Whoo!
(HONKING HORN)

MAN: She changed the lock
on my back door

Now my key won't fit no more

Movin' on over

Rockin' all over

Move over, nice doll
The mean old dog's going in

Hi. I'm Chet and I'll be
happy to valet your car.

Not as happy as we are that you
are happy to do so, my friend.

Just tell me...
Just tell me

there's a cup of tea and a
biscuit waiting inside.

That's a great accent.
Are you from Australia?

(MUZAK PLAYING)

The sound of destiny,
madam...



...calling us
with her siren song.

And go to her we must!

For this is our moment.

If not now, when? And if not us, who?
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

Later?

Somebody else?

My hand is powdered,
so the shake is firm and dry.

My clothes precisely
walk the tightrope

between casual and
relaxed formality.

Sonny, Sonny.
Let me do the talking.

Alright?
Okay.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Mr. Burley.

While I am aware that...

...convention dictates
that I should wait

for your assessment
of our proposal...

...please take my interruption
less as rudeness than proof...

...of our profound excitement at the
opportunity to meet yourself...

...and your fine company.

And let me say
right here and now...

Alright, that's enough,
that's enough.

We agreed that my
colleague would do

the speaking and
rightly so for...

...while her language may be...
salty, it has great economy and pith.

MURIEL: I don't care
about any of that.

No, listen and learn, son.

Tea is an herb
that's been dried out.

So to bring it back to life,
you have to infuse it...

...in boiling water.

That is boiling water.

Everywhere I've been
in this country...

...they slap down
a cup of tepid nonsense...

...you know with the teabag
lying beside it...

...which means
I've got to go through

the ridiculous business
of dunking it...

...in the lukewarm piss...

...waiting for the slightest
change of color to occur.

And at my age... I
haven't got the time.

This is what
I'm talking about.

Get her some boiling water.

Now, Mrs. Donnelly. Tell me
more about your establishment.

MURIEL: We've been going properly
for about eight months now.

But phase two of the development
is more or less complete.

Like life and a tortoise.

It's not exactly
fast-moving...

Mrs. Evelyn Greenslade.
Here.

MURIEL: ...but you only make progress
when you stick your neck out.

Mr. Douglas Ainslie.
Here.

We have guests
that come and go.

Mrs. Muriel Donnelly.
Here.

But there's been a hard core of
regulars from the beginning.

Mrs. Madge Hardcastle.
Here.

Mr. Norman Cousins
and Miss Carol Parr.

BOTH: Both here.

We have monthly check-ups
at the local clinic...

...and Sonny takes
a roll-call every morning.

A most valuable
precaution to ensure

that nobody has
died in the night.

MURIEL: Most of our guests don't just
live in India, they now work there.

EVELYN: These are lovely.

HARI: That is why they
cost 10,000 rupees each.

(CHUCKLES) Every day? We
have to do this every day?

Process, madam.
We must respect the process.

Very well.
You and I both know

that since a fine,
genuine pashmina...

...requires the annual growth of
at least three Changra goats...

...you and everyone
in this market

blend the yarn to
give it more body.

The reason I come
to this stall is that

whereas Bharat over
there uses wool...

...and Mohan goes
with the rabbit fur...

...you at least use a
reasonable quality of silk.

I'll give you
5,000 for four.

Done.

Thank you.

I'll see you tomorrow, Hari.

Tomorrow, Miss Evelyn. And
thank you for your respect.

MURIEL: Two of the guests
have made themselves useful

at the local expats club.

Which is, shall we say,
a little down on its uppers.

Norman...
Mmm?

...I know
the membership's dropping,

times are tight, but...

...do you really have
to water down the wine?

What?! I uncorked it myself.

They're on to us.

Let's try the red.

MURIEL: And others are doing jobs
they never thought they could do.

One Queen was so
close to her elephant...

...that when she passed
away, the elephant

stood beside her tomb
for three days...

...before dying of grief.

We should all know
such love,

just not necessarily
from an elephant.

MURIEL: And sometimes
they're right, they can't.

Uh, when were these built?
I'm sorry?

What period are we talking about?
What, um...

...period?
Ah, uh... yeah. Um...

17th... 17th century.

17th century.

Sure?
Absolutely positive.

Wait, wait, wait. Maybe 18th.
Oh, oh, oh...

Please admire
the beautifully carved...

Now please admire these
beautifully carved pillars...

...that are engraved with typical
Rajasthani... (BOYS SHOUTING)

...which are engraved with
typical Rajasthani carvings.

Um...

...typical carvings which...
(STAMMERING)

(BOYS SHOUTING IN HINDI)

(SIGHS)

And, um, you,
you, you can see...

MURIEL: Look,
I could talk and talk...

...but all that counts in the
end is this one had an idea.

I know, I know,
but it works.

The proof of our success
is we are victims of it.

The Marigold Hotel
is full up.

With nobody checking out.
Until the ultimate check-out.

So we have to expand.

There's a local place
we've got our eye on.

The Supreme Quality Hotel.

You put up the notes,
we buy it.

And we become the furthest outpost
of the Evergreen franchise.

Leading to a chain of hotels
stretching across India and beyond...

...for those such as...

...this great lady...

...whose face is
a map of the world...

...and whose mind, though
failing, still contains

many of the secrets
of the universe.

Who had the chance
to say, when she left

her home for the Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel...

...as others will do...

..."Why die here...

..."when I can die there?"

(CHUCKLES)

If you'll indulge me.

Evergreen is
a different concept.

We believe that the...

...well that the leaves
don't need to fall.

That these years,
the mature years...

...are an opportunity for travel,
for further education...

...for different
work situations.

Well, in a word,
an opportunity for life.

And for passing on the value
of that life to others.

I take it you would agree
with me, Mrs. Donnelly?

I'm here, aren't I?

Are you talking to other
companies about this?

MURIEL: We came to you first.

We do have competitors.

Not in our eyes.

SUNAINA ON LAPTOP: And did you
tell them about the roll-call?

SONNY: With a spoon,
they ate it up.

Sonny, this is huge. So when
do they sign the check?

Hoops, Sunaina.

Before our triumph
is complete,

there is one more through
which we must jump.

At some point in the next soon, Mr.
Burley...

...has promised to send an
evaluator to the hotel.

Undercover. "His guy," he
called him, to check us out.

We'll be ready. Now, can I talk
to you about the wedding plans?

The engagement party is on Thursday
and we have dance rehearsal...

...at the Viceroy Club at 4. And I
have some exciting news about that.

Let me put just one word
in your mind, Sunaina.

"Elopement." We elope.

Okay. Can you not see
how romantic that would...

Now get out of the way.
This is important. (LAUGHING)

Hello. Who's there, my love?

Sonny boy. How's America?

Kushal?

I did not know
you were in Jaipur.

I'm back, baby.

And how beautiful did your girlfriend
get while I was gone, huh?

Not girlfriend. No, that
would be my fiancée.

So this is the big news. Kush and my
brother are choreographing our dance.

You call him "Kush"?

Okay, check this out.

(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)

Have you just come for the
wedding celebrations, Kushal?

Only to go away again?

Immediately, straight afterwards,
for a very long time?

I have a business
venture in town.

If that works out,
I'm here for a while.

SUNAINA: Isn't this great?

Mrs. Donnelly. Oh... Now?

You need me now?
I have to go now.

SUNAINA: Sonny, this is
really cool. Watch.

No, she's calling
me from the pool.

Okay.

Okay, okay.
Okay, bye now. Bye.

(SUNAINA GIGGLING)

So they're looking at me, awaiting
my wisdom and knowledge...

...and I have none of either.

How many times have you
done that tour now?

Oh, 63.

And you still can't remember
a word you said?

You know how it is. First
the knees, then the names.

I should have stern
words with your assistant.

Oh, I will.

And when they don't work, offer him money.
(DOUGLAS CHUCKLES)

(EVELYN SIGHS)

Thank you.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well... goodnight.

I wonder, do you fancy a cup of coffee?
Uh, um...

Or chai, perhaps,
would be more appropriate.

I actually don't
have any coffee.

Or chai for that matter.

No, of course not.
Why would you?

Um, right. No, great.
Um, sleep well.

And you, too.
Thank you.

Goodnight.
Goodnight, then.

NORMAN: Suddenly
I realized I wasn't alone.

So I turned round to see who was
tapping me on the shoulder.

Only the bloody
Archbishop of Canterbury.

(ALL LAUGHING)

It's funny because it's true.

Yes, and unfortunately,
it's neither.

Are you walking
out with us, Norman?

No, I'm afraid I...

...I've got to stay
here and count up

the meager takings,
I'm afraid, Susan.

Oh, well, unless you need
some help finding a taxi.

No, I can walk home.
I actually live very near.

Oh, well...
That's lovely.

It is. You should
come round sometime.

Oh.
Or tonight?

Sir Norman?

Yes, what is it?

Miss Carol is on the phone.

She's wondering when you'll be back.
(SIGHS)

Well... another time.

Yes. Yes.

Well, goodnight.

NORMAN: The thing is, you see, what
one has never ever had before is...

...opportunity.

(STAMMERING) I spent years back in
England trying to spread my gift around.

Couldn't find a single
willing recipient. Here...

...cracking job,
bit of bank in my pocket.

Turns out I'm rather
catnip to the ladies.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah, but I can't indulge
myself, or indulge them...

...because I have
already got one...

...and I think
the absolute world of her.

Still, one does think...

...what if she
weren't there at all?

I mean, what if one
were alone again?

How impossibly
free one would be.

I'd miss her dreadfully,
of course.

But I'd have
a bloody good time.

Whoops.

(CHUCKLES)

Better watch out for those.
They could do some damage.

Not to worry, boss.
I take care of everything.

(MUMBLES)

(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING
ON STEREO)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(INDIAN MUSIC CONTINUES)

If you only go
once around the room,

you are wiser than he
who remains sitting still.

And thus we two
return to India

with new ideas and
greater enlightenment...

...of the state of
the world and humanity.

That flight made
my ankles swell.

Sunaina.
Sonny.

Don't mind me. I'm just
standing here on my ankles.

I missed you, too.
(GASPS)

Oh, we weren't away that long. Why
are you here? Who's on reception?

Oh, Sonny's mother
has arrived.

Let's go back to America.

Everything else smooth?
How are the new menus?

They look great.

Oh, and the wedding
tents have arrived.

Then let us go see them.

Is Vikram outside
with his beautiful minibus?

I didn't come with Vikram.
I got a lift.

From who?

Look at you, Sonny.
All of you got bigger

except your little
poppy-out ears.

How I've missed your...
affectionate humor, Kushal.

Mrs. Donnelly, this is Kushal. The
best friend of my brother Jay.

She doesn't need to meet him.

Can he help with
balloon ankles?

I have some grapefruit oil in the car.
A few drops works wonders.

I like this one.

(STAMMERS) You don't like anyone.
How can the one person...

Let me take these,
they look heavy.

I can do heavy.

Thank you.

Shall we go?

(SCOFFS) Who carries
grapefruit oil in their car?

So sorry.

Am I late?
Perfectly on time.

Have you ordered? I'm told the Chilla
pancakes here are not to be missed.

You're probably wondering
why I requested this meeting.

I presume it's to tell me my
services are no longer required.

Why would you think that?

Well, I've loved buying
fabrics and textiles for you.

I'd have been
doing it anyway. But...

...we know it was a test run,
to see if there was any demand.

And after three months
we were either going

professional or giving
the whole thing up.

We're going professional.

Oh, I'm delighted.

And please tell
whoever it is that

I'm around to impart
what little wisdom I...

Evelyn, we want to employ you. We
want to go professional with you.

You have contacts.
You have taste.

You can haggle the hind
legs off a donkey.

We would like you to
be in charge of sourcing

for our whole operation
in this country.

I'm 79 years old.

We don't mind
if you don't.

We'll give you a team
to work under you, of course.

It's going to
mean some travel.

DOUGLAS: Good morning.
Oh!

I was just riding past on my
bike and I saw you in here.

Well, I say riding, damn thing broke
down again, I was pushing it.

Do you mind if I join you?

JODI: No, please do.

I trust everyone's
ordered the Chilla pancakes.

You haven't lived
until you do.

I'm Douglas, by the way.
Jodi.

Jodi's the representative of the
company I've been working for.

You've talked about her.
All good things.

They're mutual.
Actually, I've just asked

if she'd like to
join us officially.

Have you?

Well, congratulations.

It would mean
a lot of traveling.

Yes, I expect so.
You'll love that.

She hasn't said "yes" yet.

Well, she will.
Of course she will.

What's stopping her?

You see I think the problem
this time is the piston...

...which must have had
what we call a seizure.

But, luckily,
Cyril at the bike shop

has this tool called
a gudgeon pin remover...

...which should
minimize damage

to the bearing at either
end of the con rod...

...or, God forbid,
the con rod itself.

I think you're just
making these words up.

Namaste.
Namaste.

Would you have
asked my opinion?

Sorry?

If I hadn't have come in,

would you have talked it over
with me before saying "yes"?

Of course I'd have
told you tonight

and asked you
what you thought.

Thank you.

What do you think?

That you'll
do it wonderfully.

NORMAN: Good morning,
Ainslie.

Morning, you two.

Not riding the bike,
Douglas?

No, the piston's seized up.

But luckily everything
can be saved

by a device called
a gudgeon pin remover.

NORMAN: We just popped out
for some of those pancakes.

I don't suppose
you'd care to join...

EVELYN: Good Lord.
Are you alright?

CAROL: I'm fine.

Thank you. Nothing I
haven't done before.

Something must have
gone wrong with his steering.

It almost looked as if
he was aiming straight at you.

You could be killed
by one of those things.

Oh, God.

How I wish I could
prevail upon you to stay.

Always leave them wanting more, Nimish.
(CHUCKLES)

Are we going to the Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel, madam?

There's another stop first,
if you don't mind.

Goodbye, Nimish.

ABHILASH: Ah!

Your Highness.
Welcome.

In this hand,
I'm nothing but putty.

If you like it, you should
put a ring on it. Mmm.

Uh...

Would you mind waiting? I don't
quite know how long I'll be.

Your command is my wish.

He will wait.

MADGE: Yes, but can you?

ABHILASH: Tough.

Break out the champagne!
Let the klaxons sound!

For home are the happy hunters and fat
is the lamb that we have slaughtered!

Namaste, Anokhi.

(BOTH SPEAKING HINDI)

Namaste, madam.
Namaste, Anokhi.

(SPEAKING HINDI)

How was America?

It made death more tempting.
(SUNAINA TRANSLATING)

Not bad biscuits, though.
I can't call them cookies.

Oh, look.

These are for
your mother, apke ma.

These are for your father,
apke pita.

Hello, beta.
Mummyji.

Come here.

I was just
checking in a guest.

You scare the guests.

I'll do it.

She must be the reason why
things are going so smoothly.

It takes teamwork to make
a dream work, Mummyji.

Cousin Sapna.

And little Ranjan.

Thank you.

And there's more.

And breakfast is
served on the terrace

between 7:00 and 10:00,
Miss Beech.

With roll-call
at 9:00 precisely.

Roll-call?

To ensure that if anyone
has left us in the night,

at least they will
not lie undiscovered.

Although you,
dear lady, are nearer

the menopause
than the mortuary.

Do fill in, please.

Hello?

Yes?

Oh, good morning.

Good morning.

Is this the Marigold Hotel?

Do you have a reservation?

No, it seems great to me.
I meant...

No, I know what you meant.

And, no,
I don't have a booking.

Then you should plan your life a little
better. The last room's just going.

With great pride and joy I offer you
room 6, the jewel in our crown.

Overlooking the restaurant.

I was hoping for
somewhere quite private.

SONNY: Another new guest.

Like lemmings they
come to the cliff edge

that is the Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel.

I'm so sorry,
we're full up.

That's disappointing.
Mmm.

Fail to prepare, sir... prepare to fail.
I'm sorry, buddy.

Come, Miss Beech,
your palace awaits.

I saw you at the airport,
didn't I?

The man with only one bag.

GUY: Guy. Guy Chambers.

LAVINIA: Lavinia Beech.

The name again, please?

Guy Chambers.
(DROPS LUGGAGE)

Mr. Chambers. Forgive me for the
cursory nature of my greeting.

I am Sunil Indrajit Kapoor,
owner and proprietor

of this great and
sincerely profitable hotel.

I'm pleased
to meet you...

Of course we have our most
luxurious room available.

We do? One to which I will
personally escort you.

Don't you want to
see my passport?

Ah, I know who you are,
Mr. Chambers.

I know who he is.
Take Miss Beech to room 19.

Room 19 is not finished yet.

What can carpeting achieve that
a good pair of slippers cannot?

I'd really rather
the room that I...

Please, Miss Beech,
say it walking...

I don't mind what
room I have, really.

But I mind, good sir.
I mind deeply.

Sonny. A word.

In one hot minute,
my darling.

I'm just attending to this
most significant gentleman.

Now.

One moment.

What is your problem? I have
never seen such rudeness.

Bigger fish are frying,
Sunaina.

Mr. Burley promised he would send
someone to evaluate the hotel.

You told me
he'd send someone...

He said he'd send his guy.

His guy! You see?
He was sending me a message.

That's not much to go on.

Instinct, Sunaina.

Instinct is the nose of the mind.
And I have a large nose.

It goes well with
my poppy-out ears.

MURIEL: Yeah,
these aren't bad.

Not bad at all.

You're happy?

When have you seen me happy?

Good evening, Mrs. Donnelly.

Evening, Mrs. Greenslade.

We understand there
are grounds for optimism.

The boy did well.

And you?
How did you find America?

I went with low expectations
and came back disappointed.

(CHUCKLES) Given your age, I'm
impressed you came back at all.

You're still standing,
I see.

The old knee's
hanging in there.

When's your next check-up?

Last week.
And yours?

Tomorrow. We'll see
what's come loose.

Evening, all.

Evening, Mrs. Hardcastle.
Namaste.

Evening. Had a good day?

Wonderful. Spent every
second of it together.

Suffocating. Spent every
second of it together.

He even followed me to the lavatory.
(CHUCKLES)

Everyone,
this is Lavinia Beech.

MADGE: Good evening.
Hi.

You're a bit young,
aren't you?

Well, I'm here for my mother.

Not that one needs an excuse

to escape the six
weeks of warm rain

that constitute an English summer.
(LAUGHS)

She's thinking of coming for a longer stay.
I'm the advance party.

You must be hungry.
Please, come, sit down.

Not there, my darling. That is the
special table, already reserved.

For who?

Lordy lord,
have mercy on my ovaries.

Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen...

...this is
the great Guy Chambers.

As welcome
as he is fragrant.

Hello.

MADGE: Hello.

Good to meet you all.

Perhaps tomorrow
you will allow me to

take you on a tour of
our magnificent Pink City.

But now I shall
bring you food guaranteed

to tickle even your
most talented taste buds.

Well, that was thorough.
Find any polyps up there?

He's the one.

What one?

Our evaluator.

Sent to decide if we are to
be franchise or footnote.

What's your evidence?

The nose knows,
Mrs. Donnelly.

Oh, right.
So that's bollocks, then.

I'm here writing a book, as
a matter of fact. A novel.

That's a coincidence because
I read novels. GUY: Oh.

Have you written others?

No. (CHUCKLES)
No, this is my first.

It's just been kind
of a dream until now.

Any other dreams
I can help you with?

NORMAN: So, what's it about?

It's about getting older, really.
And all that entails.

A sense of emptiness, of loss. A
gradual narrowing of one's...

Yes, well, you've come
to the right place for that.

Yes, yes. Now listen.
It's covered in scorpions.

How many tuk-tuks are there
with bloody scorpions on them?

And the driver is
completely lethal.

Of course I don't know his
name but he's got one eye.

There you are.
Oh, my God.

Now listen, you. I don't want
any more excuses. Just do it!

(SCOFFS) That was the club.
There's been a power cut...

...and apparently
some of the food

for the party tonight
is slightly on the turn.

I'm sure you'll
sort it, darling.

There's a problem
with the party?

No, no problem with
the party, my darling.

Carol. Carol,
where are you going?

To the travel agency
where I work.

Why don't I walk with you?

No need. See you later.

Mrs. Hardcastle. Is there
a problem with the party?

Better not be. It's the
club's biggest night

for years.
Can't afford slip-ups.

There was a power cut.

Norman.

Douglas.
Hello.

You missed roll-call.
I thought we'd lost you.

I was here early.
Cyril's helping me.

I need to get all this sorted for
the wedding. I've got this whole...

...bike thing planned.

Turns out, it wasn't
a piston problem at all.

Something to do with
the carburetor. So...

(LAUGHING)
You don't care, do you?

Only insomuch as
it matters to you.

But still you came.

Listen. I'm going to Mumbai
in a couple of days.

I know,
for Laura's conference.

I was thinking,
why don't you come?

She's my daughter,
I'd like you to meet her.

Of course. But I'm not sure
I can make a trip like that.

Silly idea.

With the new job
and everything.

I shouldn't even
be going myself.

Plenty of tours
to fail to guide...

...and the bike
still isn't finished.

I would love to meet her.

It'll happen.

Oh... will I see you tonight?

What?
The engagement party.

DOUGLAS: Absolutely.
I wouldn't miss it.

EVELYN: Wonderful.

Bye.
Bye.

You should marry that girl.

I want to.

(MRS. KAPOOR AND
ANOKHI SPEAKING HINDI)

Where's our new guest?

Which one?

The American...

I didn't see him
at breakfast...

(BOTH SPEAKING HINDI)

Good morning.

Ah.

The man with no plan
who still gets the best room.

I felt really bad
about that.

Not bad enough
to swap with her.

No, I did swap.
After dinner last night.

So how's the new room?

Monastic. Which I prefer.

No need to tell
the proprietor about this.

He's not the fastest fox
in the forest.

He's my son.

GUY: And a fine fellow he is.
You must be very proud.

Don't speak
to the guests, Mummyji.

Mr. Chambers
was just telling me

how comfortable
he is at the hotel.

I'm both delighted and unsurprised.
But really, no speaking.

Hope to see you again.

Go on, Mummyji.
(CLEARS THROAT)

And now, good sir,
for our tour.

Let us find Vikram and
his beautiful minibus,

and taste the pleasures
of our fine city.

Could I come along? I was just
about to brave the city on my own.

Madam, this perfect
specimen and I

were planning to spend
the day alone together.

I didn't mean to intrude.
Of course she can come.

Of course you can come.

MADGE: It's difficult.

Every morning I take a taxi to the
roundabout and I have a decision.

I can either go
left to Nimish...

...or right to Abhilash.
Both of whom love me.

I'm pretty sure they're going
to propose soon enough.

Just because I'm looking
at you when you talk,

don't think I'm
interested or listening.

Thing is, I don't
know who to say "yes" to.

MURIEL: Well...

No, I don't care.

MALE DOCTOR: Mrs. Donnelly?

The fun just never starts.

(TRUMPETS)

SONNY: ...who gave us our name and
protected us with his six noble gates.

Patterned our concourse
with boulevards

of generous proportion
and exquisite grace.

(SPEAKING HINDI)

SONNY: ...and crowned
his achievement with

the magnificence
that is the Hawa Mahal.

The Palace Of The Winds.

GUY: This is the palace?

This is
the Supreme Quality Hotel.

Well played indeed,
my friend.

Your eye does not
flicker and the cards

stay close to
your noble chest.

I don't know what you're talking about.
Why are we here?

Let us look around
and you will see.

Please, come.
Come, come, come.

Clearly whoever named this
establishment had a sense of mischief.

But had he named it
the Supreme Potential Hotel...

...then, my friends,
we would be talking.

I wanted to ask you
about your mother.

I can only apologize.

Here is our planned
installation of an elevator.

Easy access for the elderly to the
higher floors before they make the...

...greatest climb of all.

And from here to the hospital it is
but a short walk or a stretcher ride.

What about your father?
Where is he?

Scattered on holy waters.
Sorry.

Finding, at last, the peace my
mother denied him while he lived.

Why, why do you ask?

I don't know, I'm just
really struck by her.

By whom?

I'm sorry?

By whom were you struck?

By your mother.

My mother?

Your mother, yeah.

Sorry to butt in,
could I just...

My mother?
Your mother.

Do you own this place?

Yes.

It is the most recent addition
to our burgeoning empire.

Not the last time I looked.

SONNY: Kushal?

To what do we
owe this... pain?

Funny guy.

Kushal Kadania.

Hi. Guy Chambers.

Lavinia Beech.
Great pleasure.

Why are you here, Kushal?
And please explain the hat.

So what do you think?
You like the place?

I think it could be
really great. Yes, I do.

How clever of Sonny
to buy it.

Except he didn't buy it.

You speak for me?
How do you know?

Because I did.
I closed the deal yesterday.

You wouldn't want to
read this, darling.

Please excuse her, madam.

Hello. I don't think I
ever caught your name.

Babul, madam.

Is this your daughter?

My niece, Aaina.

She was in an accident and needs
many hours of physiotherapy.

And you bring her,
and wait?

There's no present
like the time.

I also bring banana chips. Oh.

Shall we go?

Is everything alright?

Oh, it's fine. Fine.
Who's that?

Goodbye. My driver, Babul.

He knows a thing or two.

Please tell me
there'll be something

for the old people
to dance to.

Because we can still
shake it, you know.

Don't worry, Aruva's a professional.
(CHUCKLES)

So when do you and Sunaina
do your dance?

It depends on whether Sonny ever
gets here for the rehearsal.

Sonny.
In-laws.

Beta.

Jay.
You're late.

It's a pleasure to see you.

A ray of sunshine
on a dark day.

JAY: Sonny boy.
Don't call me that.

Your friend Kush
has cheated us

out of what is
rightfully ours.

What are you talking about?

Kush is in town?
SAMARTH: You didn't tell us.

JAY: How did he cheat you?

By snatching from us
the Supreme Quality Hotel.

Had you made an offer on it?
We don't have the money yet.

Then how did
he cheat you?

You think he didn't know
we were planning to buy it?

Sonny. The place has been on
the market for over a year.

I saw it, I contacted my investor.
Your father.

And my investor
agreed that we should

make a move before
the price went up.

How hard it must
be not to choke

on the silver spoon
in your mouth.

Ask him if he knew.

Did you know anything?

Would I have bought
the place if I had?

His tongue is forked
and he lies like a rug!

Why are you being like this?

KUSHAL: Isn't this somebody's engagement
party? We have a dance to rehearse.

I know how to dance.
You still have to rehearse.

That's why I'm here.

Shall we?

(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)

Host is looking dapper.

What? You, Norman. Very spruce.

Ah. (CHUCKLES) Well.

Big night, isn't it?

A happy conclusion
to a slightly bumpy journey.

That's really the point,
isn't it?

For all relationships,
the journey.

It's not enough to stand still.
There's gotta be...

...progress.
Movement towards something.

Because the really frustrating
thing is, we could be

madly happy.

And not to take the risk,
when it's so close

you could almost
reach out and...

...touch it.

(SIGHS)

The great and terrible
thing about life...

...there's just
so much bloody...

...potential.

All of which is
almost certainly nonsense

and I've no idea
what I'm talking about.

Tell me about you, Norman.
What's biting your bum today?

Me?

I think I might have taken
out a hit on my girlfriend.

JODI: You're going to have
to drive some pretty

hard bargains with
the factory owners.

And there's been a switch. Your first
port of call's not Delhi, it's Mumbai.

You're gonna have
to get used to that.

I can't tell you the family holidays
I'd have had to blow out...

...if I had a family.

Are you going
to take Douglas?

I don't know.
I hadn't thought.

How long have you
guys been together?

We're not.

Oh, sorry,
I thought you were.

No, well...
We're not "not" together.

I'm going to be so
late for this party.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(SPEAKING HINDI)

MADGE: Both suitors at
the same party...

...does give one
rather a frisson.

Then why are you hiding?

It's been a while since I had one
suitor, let alone two. (CHUCKLES)

Something of
a dry spell.

Water doesn't flow till you turn
the tap on. Pick someone tonight.

Mrs. Donnelly. Forgive me for not
escorting you to the clinic, but...

...our plans for expansion
have hit a roadblock.

What kind of roadblock?

Good evening,
Mrs. Donnelly.

Oh, you look so beautiful.

Sonny, your mother needs to spend
some time with my parents.

For the guest of honor.

We are the guests of honor.

GUY: Congratulations. This
is just a wonderful night.

I was thinking of celebrating by
asking your mother for a dance.

Whose mother?
Your mother.

Really?

You're looking very
fine tonight, Norman.

I don't suppose you've seen
Carol anywhere, have you?

(CHUCKLES) Here...

Thank you.
I find it awfully hard

not to wipe my fingers
on my trousers.

I've noticed.

Jean used to accuse me of doing
it deliberately to annoy her.

Whereas, the best way
was to stand in front of her

and fold up a road
map the wrong way.

You're happy.

I've just got a text from
Laura. Well, five texts,

although I could
only read the first one.

I hate this machine.

Turns out she's coming here.

I thought she was
going to Mumbai.

She's taking a diversion to see her
old man. In his natural habitat.

That's wonderful.

So the two of you
will finally get to meet.

And she can see
for herself that

all the things I've told
her about you are true.

Mmm. Mmm. Oh.

(LAUGHING)
Mmm. Oh.

I hear you're going
to dance tonight.

We met before.
I'm Lavinia.

Lavinia. Absolutely. (CHUCKLES)

You're probably thinking
I'm a little young

to be staying at the Marigold.

Either that or your plastic
surgeon's a genius. (LAUGHING)

I'm... quite interested
in your new place.

Come by again sometime.

Maybe I will.
Or maybe I won't.

That means I will.

SONNY: Mummyji.
Guy Chambers has chosen you.

A great mystery
for another time.

But the moment he beckons,
you must join him

on the dance floor
to throw some shapes.

I don't think so.
Why not?

The man is so
handsome he has me

urgently questioning
my own sexuality.

What's left of our hopes
for the hotel are

in his hands. So, please,
take one for the team.

Are you pimping
out your own mother?

No, no, not at all. No.

Although, yes.

(EXCLAIMS IN DISMAY)

Ah!

Madge. I can't find
Carol anywhere.

Norman, quick, kiss me.

What?

You know you want to.
I don't want to.

Well, I wouldn't mind but...

I'm sorry, Norman. I can't do this.
I'm in love with someone else.

Fair enough.

I'm breaking your heart.
I'm sorry.

I'll get over it.

Forgive me.

Now, have either
of you seen Carol?

I honestly thought
it might help.

I thought if I could
see them at the same time,

I'd know which
one I preferred...

...which port in
the storm I'd choose.

But it didn't
work out that way.

Some you win, my lady,
and some you learn.

And I don't know why, but I rather
snubbed his kind invitation...

...to go with him to Mumbai.

Where, as it turns out,
I'm going anyway.

So we'd actually
be there together.

(SIGHS)

I don't know if I'm
excited or terrified.

Sometimes it seems to me
that the difference between...

...what we want
and what we fear...

...is the width
of an eyelash.

I'm sorry,
were you talking to me?

Oh, the hearing's
gone then, obviously.

Yeah, along with
your backbone.

I don't know why
I tell you anything.

Because I'm older and wiser.

19 days older.

That's the entire
lifespan of a wasp.

(SOFTLY) Go on, talk to him.

Look, we don't have to dance.
We could just talk.

Well, we start by you telling
me what your name is.

It's Mrs. Kapoor.

That's all I get?

Mmm-hmm.
That's all you get.

Huh. Alright, um...

Um...

Okay, I'm 64.
I am single...

...and my wife left me a couple
of years ago. I don't know why.

Uh, I'm generally kinder
to people than to animals.

Not that I'm mean
to animals, I'm not.

I like animals.
Especially dogs.

What do you want from me?

I don't know, just a little
back and forth. A little...

I went, now you go.

What do you really want?

(CHUCKLES) I don't know.

I don't know.

I prefer cats.

I figured.

Have dinner with me.

Whenever you want.

We can go tomorrow night.
Night after that. That's...

Or I could book a table
right here, if you want?

What makes you
think I'll say yes?

I'm hoping you already did.
Just not out loud.

SAMARTH ON MIC: Ladies and
gentlemen, distinguished guests...

...the moment you've
all been waiting for.

Please welcome to the dance
floor, Jay and Kush...

She is totally frosting him.
The evening's a disaster.

This is our night, Sonny.

Ours.
(CROWD CHEERING)

(INDIAN SONG PLAYING)

(GUESTS GASPING)

Nobody... nobody panic.

Are you okay?

NORMAN: It's just a little outage.
Soon have it sorted.

MURIEL: You better pray
I don't find you in the dark.

I don't believe this.
Norman?!

Carol, darling, where are you?

Neither do I.
It's outrageous.

Don't pretend
you're not relieved.

You think I'd organize
a power cut?

The only thing
you did organize.

I had more important
things to see to.

What is more important
than your engagement?

If I could see where
your leg is, I'd kick it.

Then I wouldn't
have to dance

and you could stay on
the floor with your Kushti.

Who dances like he does everything...
better than me.

Really?

Really.

Sunaina, wait.

You're screwing up, Sonny boy.

I went to one once
where the best man

and the groom were found in bed together.
(LAUGHING)

Which still went slightly
better than tonight.

NORMAN: I'm sure
I paid that bill.

CAROL: It was a power cut,
it happens.

NORMAN: Just, please,
no-one tell Madge.

No-one tell Madge what?

Oh, God.

Douglas?

Yes?

Um, Laura's coming tomorrow, that's
wonderful. I can't wait to meet her.

But, absurdly, um, as it happens,
I now have to go to Mumbai.

Oh.

But I was wondering...

...I mean I was thinking that when
you come for the conference...

...we could...

I don't know how long
I'm going to be there

but the time that I am
perhaps we could...

Hello, Dad.

Darling!

JEAN: Hello, Douglas.

Darling?!

Hello, Evelyn.

It was all so
delightfully last minute.

Yes, a bit of warning
would have been nice.

You didn't get my texts?

I hate that machine.

Laura's giving a speech at an international
conference. Aren't you, darling?

About the exponential growth
of internet start-ups...

...and the consequent effect on...
I'll shut up now.

And when she mentioned
she'd been offered

two return flights,
first class, of course...

...I couldn't resist
the chance to come out

and visit the old
crumbling ruins.

And see how the hotel
was doing as well. (LAUGHS)

Daniel has been saying I was looking
tired and could do with a holiday.

It's typically him to be
so considerate and caring.

Daniel?

Daniel Green. He's a country solicitor.
And my boyfriend.

It was actually his idea that I come
and speak about this in person.

Apparently,
we have three options:

desertion,
unreasonable behavior...

...or adultery. A rather unholy trinity.
(CHUCKLES)

You can take your pick.

I don't understand.

Daniel's proposed
to me, Douglas.

He's asked me to marry him.

I'm here to get a divorce.

(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)

SONNY: Ms. Lavinia Beech.

LAVINIA: Here. Yes, thank you.

SONNY: Mr. Guy Chambers.

I am here.

Mrs. Jean and
Miss Laura Ainslie.

You can see us!

Mr. Douglas Ainslie.

DOUGLAS: Here, I'm here. Yeah.

SONNY: Mrs. Muriel Donnelly.

What's left.

SONNY: Mrs. Madge Hardcastle.

Present. Still fuming.

Mrs. Evelyn Greenslade.

Mrs. Evelyn Green...

Can't find her.

She's gone.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

This is very exciting.

EVELYN: Not too
short notice, I hope.

You've been to
Mumbai before, surely?

Oh, yes, many times.
Very many times.

So you've never been?
Never.

But I've got many
relatives there.

Yes.

Hari, I wonder, could you
do me a favor from now on?

I think it's important if we're
going to be working together.

Could you always
just tell me the truth?

Very well. But I must
warn you, Miss Evelyn...

...I'll be the only one
doing that.

These are serious
business negotiations.

No more playing on the porch with
the puppies. You're a big dog now.

NORMAN: Carol!

Taxi!

Sunaina...

...you're waiting
for an apology.

You deserve one. Although the
power cut was not of my doing...

...I nevertheless plunged
the night into darkness.

For that there is no excuse and I
am completely and sincerely sorry.

Thank you.
In my defense...

You said there was no excuse!

...Kushal is machinating
against me.

Because he bought a building?

He didn't even know
you were interested in it.

"Coincidence" is just a word for
when we cannot see the bigger plan.

All your guests
are happy here.

Nobody is going
anywhere else.

Let us delay this conversation until
the moment I'm proved right...

...when perhaps it will be
your turn to apologize to me.

Dear Mr. Chambers.
I have your breakfast.

GUY: Ah, wonderful.

Excuse me.

A little patience,
please, dear lady.

What would you like,
Miss Beech?

Could I have
a cup of tea, please?

I'll get you a fresh pot.

Just hot water and a teabag on
the side would be marvelous.

Lavinia was curious about
that new place you showed us.

The Supreme Quality,
was that the name?

I don't recall.

Kushal thought
the lift might be

rather a bonus
for my darling mum.

Six stairs without a rest is
about all she can manage now.

Maybe we should
take another look.

And also because the new proprietor
is quite handsome. (LAUGHS)

Truly, madam,
you're on fire today.

Can't you make this
thing go any faster?

My pedal is
to the metal, boss.

Look, I'll give you everything in
my wallet. I'll give you my wallet.

Okay. Then let's go
through the floor.

BABUL: Left or right, madam?

I'm sorry, what?

Uh, when we reach the turning,

with which gentleman do you
wish to spend your time?

Oh, um, left.

How's your niece doing?

She's bored and frustrated.

Her first question
to the doctor

was whether she would
still be able to dance.

Is she good?

She makes movement into magic.

You have no
children yourself?

I did not marry, madam.

I just never fell in love.

Didn't stop me.

Stop here!

Hey, wait! Wait!

Listen. Whatever I said to you the other
night, you have got to forget it.

Oh, my very generous friend!

No, no. The deal is off.
Do you understand?

It is over!

You want to do a deal with me?
We can do deal, sir.

(TUK-TUK DEPARTING)

You... haven't
understood a word

of what I've been
talking about, have you?

You...

...you just... brought
her to work.

Yes.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Ah.

NORMAN: Darling...

DOUGLAS: So do we have this clear?
ASSISTANT: Very clear, Uncle.

DOUGLAS: Are you sure?
ASSISTANT: Very sure, Uncle.

DOUGLAS: We're not
messing this up.

ASSISTANT: Categorically not.

Because this is showtime. So,
let's run through it again.

I stay here with the computer. You go in
the garden and I'll dictate to you...

...so that no-one discovers
that your mind is empty.

Good. And when your friends
invite you to play with them?

I'll tell them where
to stick their ball.

JEAN: This is terribly exciting.
I was too exhausted

to do much tourism
the first time.

The irony of depression. Tired all
day and awake all night. (LAUGHS)

Now I sleep wonderfully.

Although one does
rather miss a rose

on one's pillow
in the morning.

Have you met Daniel?

Mum keeps promising.

I'm saving him up.

Have you thought about
our conversation last night?

Which option are
you plumping for?

The thing is...

...as I recall,
you deserted me

and I'm not sure I was
entirely unreasonable.

It'll have to be
adultery, then.

Not guilty.

Yes, but surely, by now...

Mum!

That's a sorry
state of affairs.

What on earth are
you waiting for?

Is that why she
left so suddenly?

Oh, look,
there's your fan club.

I think she actually went
to start her new job.

What a busy little
pensioner bee she is.

(CHUCKLES)

FACTORY OWNER: This is a
process that takes many weeks

and involves 12
separate dyes...

...to produce
the finished product.

The intricate patterns require
40 passes over the cloth...

...and each pass involves the
entire length of the table.

There are 8 tables in
this room and 24 in all.

We will process around 2,000
meters of cloth in a day.

And as you know, ma'am, the
workforce is highly skilled.

The best that can be found in all India.
Please, follow me.

Be honest.

This man took
one look at me

and thinks he can
charge us double.

No.
No?

Four times.
Read this and learn it fast.

And when I run my fingers through my
hair, say it with great authority.

FACTORY OWNER: I'm sorry. I
cannot go below 50,000 per crate.

My costs
will not permit it.

EVELYN: 30 really is
the most we can offer.

I'm not sure you understand
the work involved.

I understand perfectly,
but 30 is our limit.

Then we can
do no business.

I thank you and your
assistant for coming here.

He's my partner,
not my assistant...

...and he has full authority to
conduct this negotiation himself.

Of course.

My friend...

...we can get four for
this price anywhere else.

You're just asking more because it's her...

You think because you're
with this white woman...

...that you've climbed a treetop?

You think her white hair
is going to fluster me?

Don't talk rubbish!

Just because you've caught hold...

...of some old white buffalo...

...you think I'm going to give in ...?!

(SPEAKING HINDI)

Every single word ... ...?

25,000 Rupees... Done.

EVELYN: What did I say?

That you understood every
word he was saying...

...and he should have more
respect for his elders.

Well, he does now.
(BOTH LAUGHING)

I thought you'd have left
for the Sangeet already.

Where have you been?
I was working late.

You'd gone
before I woke up.

I was working early. And
I did tell you, darling.

Right.

You've missed me,
you sweet man.

Let me get changed, hmm?
We'll go together.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(INAUDIBLE)

MURIEL:
Are you not worried about him?

There's no point in worrying
if there's nothing you can do.

Sonny, in a few days
we will all be one family.

And in this family, we do not
tell each other what to do.

We talk to each other,
beta. We listen.

Guys, I know you're worried,
but it will be okay.

I will find another hotel
into which we can expand.

Why don't you just
talk to Kush. Okay?

Please, Sonny,
talk to him.

Just listen to
what he has to say.

And just like that, another
good party dies a death.

Sonny, thanks for
hearing me out.

I want us to
form a partnership.

Outsourcing old age.
It's a brilliant idea.

It's brilliant
and it's working.

But to keep growing, you've got
to have somewhere to grow into.

You were going
to buy the hotel.

I'm proposing
we own it together.

As part of the company we form
together, equal partners.

I know you began this
journey on your own,

but you've gone as far
as you can without help.

Without me.

What do you say?

I can see you're
talking now, Kushal.

Your lips are moving.

But all I hear is the soft hiss
of treachery and betrayal.

This was your plan all along.
I had no plan!

Mrs. Donnelly, can you
please talk to this guy?

JAMUNA: What's your advice, Mrs.
Donnelly?

Never to give any.

Listen, think about it,
take some time.

Long as you want.
Five minutes?

(LAUGHS)

Five is more than enough.

Is there really
nothing you can do?

MRS. KAPOOR: Are you
really writing a book?

(GUY CHUCKLING)
Well, I'm trying, yeah.

My son thinks you're not
who you say you are.

Is that why you came?

So tell me
about your book.

Ah, okay.

Well... The story's
changed quite a bit.

It was meant to be a story about
the end of things but now...

...maybe it's about
the beginning of them.

It's about a man who...

...whose life
has fallen apart...

...and he's done what people
do when they've been bruised.

He circles the wagons,
he shuts down.

But now he's, he's come
somewhere very far away and...

...suddenly he's awake.

His blood is moving.
He's...

It's the place, it's the
extraordinary place.

But mostly...

...it's this person
that he's met there.

And how does...

How does she feel?

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Well, she doesn't know. Not
immediately, of course not.

That would be kind of
a short story if she did.

I think that she's scared.

And I'm sure that she was an incredibly...
beautiful young woman...

...and she knows she's not that
young anymore. Although to him...

...to him
she looks wonderful.

But she wouldn't trust him
if he said that, so...

Actually, I don't think she
trusts anybody, really.

Least of all herself, which is
probably a sign that she's become...

...become someone who she
doesn't really wanna be.

And every day that goes by
makes it harder to remember...

...that she once was
passionate, willful.

She disapproves of those things.
Now she fears them.

Which is why
he's not pushing.

For now...

For now he just wants
an evening with her.

And another.

To see what happens.

That's my story.

Or at least what
I know of it so far.

(SIGHS)

Shall we write
the next chapter?

SONNY: I don't know what
to do, Mrs. Donnelly.

I used always to
dream of the future...

...but now all I see
is him in front of me.

Looking back and laughing. Having
taken from me my livelihood...

...and my Sunaina.

You know, there's a long list
of things I don't care for.

Doctors, sunburn.
Mosquitoes.

People who outstay
their welcome.

I could go on forever.
But there is one thing...

...I cannot bear
and that's self-pity.

It destroys everything around it.
Now don't be that idiot.

Don't let that happen.

Then tell me
what to do, madam.

You have to work
that out on your own.

Why, when you are here?

So you can do it
when I'm not.

Evening all. Oh, good evening, Mrs.
Hardcastle.

In before midnight.

Only two customers.

I finished my shift early.
I felt like being alone.

Oh, call for
the doctor, Sonny.

Nimish asked me to marry
him this morning.

And Abhilash did the
same this afternoon.

Decision time.

Your mother was
one of the customers.

It appears she won
the Mr. Chambers lottery.

I didn't even realize
she was playing.

Congratulations
would have been nice.

(SIGHS)

(MOPED ENGINE STARTING)

I'm looking for my mother, Mr. Dharuna.
And her dinner companion.

I believe they
were here tonight.

I could not
possibly say, sir.

Did they leave together?

The Viceroy Club values
discretion above all else, sir.

You cannot
put a price on it.

1,000 rupees.

They went into one
of the bedrooms, sir.

You have bedrooms?
Yes.

For when our members get tired.
Or fortunate.

Thank you.

Pleasure doing
business with you.

MRS. KAPOOR: Sonny?

What are you doing here?

(SCOFFS) I think that's
my line, Mummyji.

I came to speak
to the inspector.

I have business
to discuss with him.

What kind of business?

I need to know if I can
rely on his support...

...with or without
the Supreme Quality Hotel.

He's not an inspector.

If that's what he's saying,
he's lying to you.

I don't think so.

I don't want to see
you hurt, Mummyji.

I can take care
of myself, beta.

And your business can
wait till the morning.

Go home now.

RECEPTIONIST: Is there anything
else I can get you for morning?

JEAN: I'd like breakfast
in my room at 9:00, please.

And Earl Grey tea
with pasteurized milk.

That's very important.

Anyone for a quick
drink before bed?

I'd quite like
a walk along the bay.

It's one of the sights, after all.
Especially at night.

What a lovely idea.
Shall we come?

Oh, well, yes, of course. I mean, if you...
(STAMMERING)

Douglas,
I was joking.

I'd rather walk naked through
the fiery flames of hell.

Bye, darling.

Practically the same thing.
Shall we go up?

She checked out, sir.

I beg your pardon?

Mrs. Greenslade
checked out earlier, sir.

DOUGLAS: Did she say
where she was going?

RECEPTIONIST: Not to me, sir.
Very, very sorry.

DOUGLAS: Okay.

Okay.

HARI: I tell you,
he turned white as a sheet.

(ALL LAUGHING)

And the silly thing is I don't have
enough hair to run my hand through. See?

(ALL LAUGHING)

Your cousin was
brilliant today.

It was the Hindi scolding
that did the job.

I thought my mother
has walked into the room.

Thank you,
that was delicious.

Thank you.

So kind of you
to put me up.

When you live in a hotel, you rather
crave an alternative occasionally.

It is our pleasure to welcome our
cousin and his friend to Mumbai.

Namaste.
Namaste.

(SPEAKING HINDI)

There's no welcome
like an Indian welcome.

It is genuine.

(CHUCKLES)

That was rubbish
about the hotel.

The truth is
that I checked out

because there's something I
can't deal with at the moment.

For reasons that are
utterly stupid and feeble.

I'm only telling you because you
don't know the person involved.

Mr. Douglas.

My friend is
mending his bike.

He's a good man.

And a brave one.
Far braver than me.

Who fails to give him back
even half of what he deserves.

I want to say to him, "Just give
me time and I'll get there."

If I wasn't so useless,
that's what I'd say.

"Just give me
a bit more time."

How much time
do you have?

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

NORMAN: Just had an idea.

Why don't I pop by the agency
today, take you out to lunch?

Oh, not today, darling.
Busy, busy, busy.

I'll probably just have
a sandwich at my desk.

I could bring it to you.

(CAROL CHUCKLES)
You are so sweet.

Good morning.

Morning, Miss Beech.
How are you today?

Not bad at all. Kushal and I
rather painted the town red.

Might I have some
of that, please?

Now, Sunaina...

...are you allowed to tell
me about your dress or is...

(IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Oh Jesus! God,
that's hot! What the heck were you...

(ANOKHI APOLOGIZING
IN HINDI)

I'm so sorry, Miss Beech.
Are you alright?

(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
Oh, no. No, it's no problem.

(SUNAINA SPEAKING IN HINDI)

LAVINIA: Honestly.
It was my fault.

Hello, Dad.

Morning, darling.

You look tired.
Did you not sleep?

I've been trying to learn
my speech for the wedding.

Thought I'd do it
note-free.

Never say die and all that.
Until you die, obviously.

Um, darling...

What?

I went to look for
a friend last night.

Evelyn. Yes. I was hoping
to meet her properly.

She checked out.
As in...

I think she went
back to Jaipur.

Then what are
you waiting for?

But I'm here. I came
here to see your speech.

Oh, bollocks to that!

You wouldn't
understand a word.

Dad.

You've spent your life seeking out
people who can stop you being happy.

Doing the things you want to do.
Don't put that on me too.

Don't make me even more
like mum than I am already.

You have all the good bits,
all the brilliant bits.

Go on.

I'll make it alright
with her. Go.

Yes.

Thank you.
Bye.

MADGE: I've bought
a present for your niece.

Something from the market.
I hope that's alright.

BABUL:
Much more than alright.

Good.
Will you give it to her?

Of course.

Actually, wait a minute.
Which way is your house?

This way.

She's my sister.

Namaste.

My brother.
My cousin sisters.

Namaste.

My cousin brothers.
And 3 of my friends.

Namaste.
Namaste.

My uncle.
Namaste.

My auntie.
Namaste.

And, uh...

Hello, darling.

(BOTH SPEAKING HINDI)

She still wants
to read your book.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Your uncle told me how
very brave you're being...

...and I thought
you deserved a reward.

(SPEAKING HINDI)

What you do is
wind her up like this.

And then, very gently...

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

That was me
when I was her age.

Twirling away.

I wasn't bad, I don't
think, but I gave it up.

Just like most
things in my life.

Which is your house?
Uh...

White house.
I was born there.

So was she and her sisters.
My sister. My whole family.

What a lovely place
to have lived.

I'm very happy you came.

So... what happened last night?
You left in a hurry.

I went to talk
to the inspector.

And?

His mind was
on other matters.

Because he's
not the inspector.

No, Lavinia Beech is.
Except her name's

not Lavinia and
she's American.

And you've done
nothing but show her

the back of your hand
since she got here.

That is absolutely not true.

My God, that is true.

Excuse me.

Ah, Miss...
Miss... Miss...

Miss...

Beech. Miss Beech. How
delightful to see you.

Might I ask most humbly
if you have plans

for today and, if so,
can I feature in them?

I was actually just
on my way to see Kushal.

And is that,
if so bold I might be,

for the purposes of
business or pleasure?

Both, really.

No offense,
but I think in the end

the Supreme Quality will
just suit my mother perfectly.

Please, madam, I'll give you a better room.
One that's finished.

Sonny. I heard you
were looking for me?

Room 6 will
shortly be available.

I'm in room 6.
You are? She is?

A lot's been going on.

I'm sorry, no.

So, Mr. Chambers.

Could you hold on a sec,
Miss Beech?

The great
Mr. Chambers.

The great writer
Mr. Chambers.

Sure, if you like. I do not like, sir.
I do not like one bit!

What did you
wanna tell me?

To leave this hotel and never
darken its towels again.

You lied, sir.
He did not lie.

You pretended not to be
something you weren't.

There was an inspector. It just wasn't him.
It was that one.

Lavinia. Except that's
not your name, is it?

(IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
No. My name's Theresa.

I knew that I knew you. You
work for the competition.

"Golden Years," right? Correct.

How did you know that?

It's his business to know.

And ours to know
what he's up to.

Please explain.

She is a hotel inspector. Just not the
one that they were worried about.

That would be me.

I told you.

The nose knew.

While there are patterns
we can study...

...to mitigate the amplitude of
the extreme highs and lows...

...that characterize any entrepreneurial
journey, they'll come anyway.

(ALL LAUGHING)

But don't let that stop you
because the highs...

...like being here today with you
all, make everything worthwhile.

Just get in the game. I'll see
you in the bar. Thank you.

(ALL APPLAUDING)

They were riveted.

Riveted, they were.
No, really.

Thank you.

Laura's success
continues, evidently.

Yes, I'm very
proud of her.

It's a shame Douglas couldn't
be here to enjoy it.

What exactly
is your job here?

Sourcing fabrics
and liaising between

the merchants and
the company I work for.

Ooh, doesn't that
just trip off the tongue.

Oh, it's easier
to say than to do.

Well, you look as if
you're handling it.

I must say, I admire what
you've made of yourself here.

Thank you.

There's only one
thing puzzling me.

Douglas pleaded not guilty to adultery.
Why would that be?

Do you not fancy him?

Even when I could
hardly stand the man,

I still found him
rather attractive.

In some ways rather
more so than Daniel.

Well, Douglas has
one great advantage

over Daniel which is
that he actually exists.

Daniel exists.

He does.
Oh, if you say so.

I work in his office.

I've started doing clerical
stuff, Tuesdays and Thursdays...

...just to keep
the ends meeting.

Money doesn't stretch as far
in Reigate as in Rajasthan.

Daniel knows my name, of
course, we're a small team.

But he hasn't proposed,
I grant you that.

That's why
I want the divorce.

I can hardly expect a man to want to go
out with me while I'm still married.

What do you suppose we should
do for our first date?

I'm too embarrassed
to ask Laura.

A film? A shared experience.
Something to talk about afterwards.

Which will prevent
any possible awkwardness.

Oh, there won't be
any awkwardness.

No, I don't suppose
there will be.

There are some people into whose
laps the good things in life fall.

I'm not one of them.

Coming out here
finally taught me that.

So, if the good things
won't come on their own,

I must make them.

And that's what
I intend to do.

DOUGLAS: ...given them roots
and now they can...

Sonny and Sunaina's
wonderful families

have given them
roots and now...

(SIGHS)

Sunaina?
You can't come in.

I don't want you to see
the dress until Friday.

I need my clipboard.

You know the names of the guests.
Why do you need a clipboard?

It's just an excuse
to come in.

I must apologize to you.

You apologized already.

I mean it more now.

And I promise
you three things.

I promise I will properly
rehearse the wedding dance.

I promise I'll wear the turban your
mother chose for the ceremony.

And I promise I'll be a
better husband than fiancé.

Good... because
you're a terrible fiancé.

Listen to me.

If there is ever a time
in our life together when...

...I find myself
attracted to another man

or even confused a little,
I will always tell you.

And that way, you know that
I will never, ever act on it.

I don't find Kush attractive.

His ears are too
close to his head.

I hoped you would find his
offer of a partnership...

...more attractive.

But that is up to you.

Have you seen my other
shoe, darling? Hmm?

If you don't tell me what's been
the problem for the last few days,

I'll need it
to kick you with.

Your shoe's
under the bed.

And you're having
an affair.

Oh, so it is.
Wonderful.

I said I know you're
sleeping with someone else.

Of course I am, darling.
Aren't you?

What about that twitchy little
witch at the club? Susan.

Obviously you've both been at
it like rabbits for weeks now.

No. I mean no!

Well, why not?
What's been stopping you?

Well, you have.

What?

That's not fair.

Do you mean
I didn't need to be

carrying on with
any of these men?

There's more than one?

I am only out there
because I thought you were.

Look, I'm not "out" at all.
I couldn't be more "in."

You know,
when we met...

...you said you were lonely.

I was. It doesn't
mean I was celibate.

I don't want to be
that lonely again, Norman.

Neither do I.

SONNY: (SHOUTING) Mr. Norman
Cousins and Miss Carol Parr.

BOTH: Both here!

SONNY: Miss Theresa Beech.

Present.

If no longer correct.

SONNY: Miss Madge Hardcastle.
Here.

SONNY: Mrs. Muriel Donnelly.

Just about.

Mr. Douglas Ainslie.

Learning my speech.

A couple of days,
I'll be fine.

SONNY: Mrs. Evelyn Greenslade.

Not back yet.
Which is a surprise.

Mr. Guy Chambers.

GUY: Now whether you want
my good wishes or not...

...you'll have them
on your wedding day.

Thank you.

I don't care what you are.
I still would.

How will you rate us?

Not that it
matters now, but...

...what will
the report say?

Shall I be frank?

A welcome change.

To say that...

...there is huge
room for improvement

in the running
of this hotel...

...would be to
understate the surreally

haphazard nature
of your operation.

Thank you... for your feedback.

But the fact that
you get away with it...

(SCOFFS)

...I mean,
it's a testament to the...

...to the reservoirs
of affection

in which you're held
by the residents here.

No-one can put
a price on that.

So, I would have said...

...that with a new and better-equipped
facility like the Supreme Quality...

...you would have
had my endorsement.

Would have?

Well, I'm resigning. My position
is totally compromised here.

I see.

But you've got another
inspector right here.

I don't like the people
she works for

but if that's
the only game in town...

We've spoken already.

Her recommendation
is also based upon

the acquisition of
the Supreme Quality Hotel.

Why don't you just
do a deal with him?

If only for the sake
of your beautiful bride.

Right, well I'll be,
I'll be staying

at the Viceroy
until my plane leaves.

Could you... Would you
please tell your mother...

Would you please tell her
that I'm quitting my job?

What are you
going to do?

Write my book.

She knows the story.

Mr. Chambers.

Allow me to offer you
a lift to the Viceroy Club.

Vikram's beautiful
minibus awaits.

Please.

Good.

Careful. You'll never
get back up again.

Well, you're still in one
slightly sagging piece, I see.

Barely. The plane was
diverted just before landing.

A cow on the runway. Not exactly
the way I always wanted to go.

Death by cow.

I suppose it would make people
sit up and take notice.

Yeah, I wouldn't
want that.

I'd like everyone to turn around one
day and realize I've already gone.

Tell me about Mumbai.
Did you find your spine?

Well, I'm taking the job.

I thought I wouldn't.
I thought...

"How many new
lives can we have?"

And then I thought, "As many
as we like." While we can.

Be a lot of traveling.

How else could I
come home afterwards?

You'd be missed.

You do know that?
You must know that.

Anyway, Mrs. Greenslade, the
wedding is nearly upon us.

You got your
glad rags ready?

I'm a bit nervous,
actually.

It's a big day.

For all of us.

MURIEL: I never understood why
anyone would want to get married.

I barely found a bugger
I could spend a week with...

...let alone a life.

(ALL CHEERING)

But I've been
looking forward to this.

And it turns out some things
really are worth the wait.

(WHOOPING)

I'm not good with
special occasions...

...or the gifts
that go with them.

So you'll have to make do
with this letter instead.

Written from the heart
to the children I never had.

(ALL APPLAUDING)

I said at your party,
I don't do advice.

I do opinions.

And my opinion of
the groom is this:

...he gets plenty wrong...

...but never when it counts.

And when he's right...

My friends...

...it is something to behold.

...I must tell you,
the reception cannot

take place at the Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel.

(PEOPLE GASPING)

A bride as
radiant as this one...

...deserves a more splendid
setting for her wedding party...

...and I have just the place.

Please, step into
Vikram's beautiful minibus.

And for those who are less close
to it, or just move slower...

...you may use either of his
cousin's and together...

...we shall ride
to my new hotel!

(ALL CHEERING)

Don't look at me.
No, no, no. Don't look at him.

Although,
as the future unfolds,

perhaps we will also take the Supreme
Quality Hotel under our wing...

...and my old friend
Kushal shall find himself

working but a short
distance beneath me...

...such is the level
of my victorious magnanimity.

But for now,
to your chariots!

And let us travel
to the new jewel in my crown!

The apple of my eye!

Let us travel to
the pearl in my oyster!

No longer the Viceroy Club...

...but my gift on
her wedding day...

...to the girl of my dreams,
where I will welcome you.

Ladies and gentle gentlemen...
Oh, yes.

...to the Second Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel!

That is for you! Come!

(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)

You see?

Ladies and Germs...
(CHUCKLING)

(STAMMERING) ...I wonder if I could
have your attention just for a moment.

I have a few words
I'd like to say:

I cannot rest from travel:

...I will drink
Life to the lees

All times have I
enjoyed greatly...

For always roaming
with a hungry heart

Much have I seen and known;

I am a part of
all that I have met;

Life piled on life
Were all too little,

...and of one to me

Little remains:
but every hour is saved

From that eternal silence,
something more,

A bringer of new things.

(SIGHS) Um...

A few words of Alfred,
Lord Tennyson...

...speaking to something which we
all know, and should never forget.

That every hour
brings new things.

ASSISTANT: And Sonny and Sunaina
have today announced...

...that they want to
face those hours...

(DOUGLAS REPEATING
TO AUDIENCE)

...those things,
this life together.

...those things,
this life together.

And it's a privilege
to be able...

...to send them on their way
in such remarkable style.

Actually, talking of style...
(DOUGLAS REPEATING WORDS)

...I had a fairytale
wedding myself.

I had a fairy tale wedding myself.
Although mine was Grimm.

ASSISTANT: Pause for laugh.

Moving on...

The two things we can give our
children, it seems to me...

...it seems to me,
are roots and wings.

And Sonny and Sunaina's wonderful
families have given them roots...

And now... ...they can
take flight together.

Read this.

(STAMMERING) ...and as they
embark on this...

Vegetarian, non-vegetarian...

...journey,
um, yeah, uh...

...journey on which we send
them with all our love...

...and, and, and tremendous...

...you know...

...not obviously...

ASSISTANT: This is what the...

...the young...

This is what the young
make us remember...

For this is what the young
make us remember...

...that in the end...

...that in the end,
it's all very simple...

...that all it takes is to
look into someone's eyes...

...and say..."Yes...

... "this is what I want."

And for them to reply...

..."It's what I want, too...

..."and there's nothing
to be afraid of."

Evelyn and I would like
to wish the two of you...

...all the love and
luck in the world.

And so say all of us.

Sonny and Sunaina!

(ALL CHEERING)

If you really want
to try monogamy,

even though I think it's for
the young and very naïve...

...I suppose we
could give it a go.

Norman?

You lied to me.

Well...
(SIGHS)

...well, I'm not
a hotel inspector anymore

and I am gonna
write that book.

So, actually, everything
I said was true...

just a few days early,
that's all.

What about your wife?

Well that,
that was true already.

You were my first
since my husband died.

You weren't the first.

But I think you
could be the last.

Please...

...come dance with me...

...Chandrima.

Sonny told me.

I'm gonna kill that boy.

Thank you for coming.

You called.

Left or right, my lady?

Sorry?

When we reach the turning, do
you want to go left or right?

What do you do when you're faced
with a difficult decision?

I don't believe
there is such a thing.

Throw a coin in the air and we always
know which side we want it to land.

Hmm.

Left or right, my lady?

Mrs. Donnelly?

Mrs. Donnelly?

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Are you in there, madam?

Piss off back to your wedding.
I'm having a rest.

Yes. Of course.
Sorry to disturb.

Did you forget
your dancing shoes?

No, madam.

Then go and knock them dead.

Yes, madam.

Sonny...
I'm going. I'm going.

(MOPED DEPARTING)

(INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING)

BURLEY: Is there
no-one on reception?

I thought
this was a hotel?

What are you doing here?

Checking on
my investment.

You've come to
the wrong place.

I don't think so.

I couldn't find
you at the party.

How are you,
Mrs. Donnelly?

Why did you
come here, really?

To pay my respects to you.

There's nothing I admire more
than someone planting trees...

...under whose shade
they may never get to sit.

Others will.
That's what counts.

How long
are you staying?

I fly tomorrow morning. It's a
punishing itinerary, I'm afraid.

In which of your hotels do you
think I should spend the night?

Second or the first?

I don't think you'll get
a lot of sleep over there.

I...

...I have to deliver this...
then I'll check you in.

Thank you,
Mrs. Donnelly.

(INDIAN MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING)

MURIEL: I know you'll understand
me missing the reception...

...and I hope you'll forgive me
for not coming to say goodbye.

Go and have the
honeymoon you deserve.

I'm sure there'll be somebody
there to see you off.

Thank you.

There is no such
thing as an ending.

Just a place where
you leave the story.

And it's your story now.

I spent 40 years
scrubbing floors...

...and the last months of my
life as co-manager of a hotel...

...halfway across the world.

You have no idea now
what you will become.

Don't try and control it.

Let go.

That's when the fun starts.

Because as I once
heard someone say...

...there's no present
like the time.