The Santa Clause (1994) - full transcript
Divorcee Scott Calvin is disgusted to learn that his ex and her husband have tried - and failed - to break it easy to their 6-year-old son Charlie that Santa isn't real. On Christmas Eve, Scott reads The Night Before Christmas... then receives an unexpected visitor on his roof. When he's startled by Scott's calling out and falls, the Santa impersonator disappears, leaving only an 8-reindeer sleigh and a suit with instructions to put it on if he's involved in an accident. Scott does, and is transported around the town dropping gifts through chimneys until he's taken to the North Pole and informed by a group who claim they're elves that he is now Santa. Charlie is proud of his dad's new job, though Scott's convinced it's a dream. Until his hair turns white, his beard refuses to stay shaved, he gains weight inexplicably, even for his sudden love of junk food... Now he's accepted it, there's just one problem: how to keep it secret from his disbelieving family?
♫ Oh Christmas Tree ♫
Ho-ho-ho!
Merry Christmas!
Hey, guys.
Ho! Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention?
This has been our best year ever thanks
to Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly.
And I think we should
give thanks to the people...
responsible for our
record-breaking sales...
our Midwest marketing
and distribution team...
Scott Calvin and Susan Perry!
Let's hear it for 'em! Come on!
Susan, darling, come on up here,
Aren't they adorable?
Say a few words.
Thank you very much.
This was really a team effort.
I would just want to thank every
one of you individually
But we don't have time for that, do we?
In all seriousness, um, here at BNR Toys...
we're not just about
making a profit in quality toys.
We're also about families. But our
families aren't here with us right now.
Which is probably why Johnsons
secretary is sittin' in his lap.
You guys have a great
party. Have a great year.
Drive safe. Thanks very much.
Aren't they wonderful?
Laura, I was hoping to catch you
before you'd left your house.
I ran real late today. You
wouldn't believe the traffic out here.
Yeah, same to you!
And that's not very ladylike!
Anyway, I'll try to get to
my house as soon as I can.
Oh, there's the problem right there.
Three car pileup. I'm really gonna be late.
♫ Hark, carol bells Sweet silver bells
all seem to sing throw cares away ♫
♫ Christmas is here bringing good cheer
to young and old, meek and the bold ♫
♫ Ding dong and dong balance in song,
ring joyful ring, all caroling ♫
♫ One seems to hear words of good cheer
from everywhere filling the air ♫
♫ Oh, how they pound, raising the sound,
go hand in hand Calling in the town ♫
♫ Gaily they ring while people sing
songs of good cheer Christmas is here ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry
merry Christmas ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry,
merry Christmas, ♫
♫ On we will sing Dawn with a hymn,
angel will come to every home ♫
♫ Hark, carol bells Sweet silver bells
all seem to sing throw cares away ♫
♫ Hark, carol bells Sweet silver bells ♫
♫ From everywhere, filling the air, oh,
how they pound Raising the sound ♫
♫ Go hand in hand
Calling in the town ♫
♫ Gaily they ring while people sing
songs of good cheer Christmas is here ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry
merry Christmas ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry,
merry Christmas, “
♫ On we will sing Dawn with a hymn,
angel will come to every home, ♫
♫ On we will sing Dawn with a hymn,
angel will come to every home, “
♫ Ding dong ding ♫
♫ Dong ♫
All right, let's go.
Bye, Charlie.
Bye, Neal.
Oh, sorry I'm late.
Mm. Hi.
Hi.
Did you want to come in for a minute?
Neal's waiting in the car, so-
Why doesn't he come in?
'Cause, Daddy, he says you'll just
end up saying something snotty.
Not necessarily. Could be rude
or sarcastic. Whatever it takes.
See? I gotta go.
Come on, come on.
Christmas Eve. Just a minute.
Watch those steps.
They're real slippery.
Ooh!
Told ya.
So...
Well...-
You goin' to your mom's for dinner?
Actually, we're gonna be with Neal's
family. Ah, Christmas at the pound.
[imitating Dog Howling,
Cat Hissing, Meowing]
There aren't that many
presents over there.
That's because Santa isn't here yet.
Neal doesn't believe in Santa.
Well, Neal's head comes to a point.
He's smart. He's a doctor.
He's not a doctor, he's a psychiatrist.
Take your coat off.
You're stickin' around, aren't ya?
I'll be right there just a sec.
I just want to... Did that jerk tell
Charlie there was no Santa Claus?
Wha... No. Oh, Charlie came home
from school the other day in tears...
because some big kid told him
there was no such thing as Santa. Ahh.
And, you know Neal.
WWll, he sat him down and...
And told him there was a Santa Claus.
Well, all he said was that Santa was...
more like a feeling.
You know, more like a state of
mind than a person. Kind of like Neal.
And who gave you permission to
tell Charlie there's no Santa Claus?
I think if we're going to destroy our
son's illusions, I should be a part of it.
Yeah, but you're never around,
are you, Scott? Oh, oh, please.
Listen, all we are trying to do is give
Charlie a firm grasp on reality.
That's a good idea. You don't want kids
runnin' around using their imaginations.
Oh, yeah. That's from the guy responsible
for the Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly.
Leave her out of this.
"Don't you burp me. Don't you change me".
Why do you guys always have to fight?
I, uh. We're not fighting.
It's your mom singing.
It sounds a lot like fighting,
doesn't it? Cats, even.
The trouble is, Neal and your morn, they don't
believe in Santa because they were real naughty.
Which is why they'll probably
get lumps of coal in their stockings.
I don't know. It seems kinda
babyish to believe in that kinda stuff.
What are you talkin' about? I
believe in Santa Claus. I'm not a baby.
Well...
Maybe it's time you left.
We don't want to keep
Dr. Pinhead waiting.
Come here.
Do I gotta stay?
Listen, you and your daddy...
are gonna have a great Christmas, okay?
Will you pick me up tomorrow?
Of course.
Early?
Yes.
We're talking sunup, you're here?
You'll be fine. Ah, merry Christmas,
Charlie. I love you.
I love you too, Mom.
You be a good boy, okay?
Bye, Mom.
Four hours?
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ I'm dreaming,
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Of a white Christmas ♫
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Your Christmas will be perfect...
just like the ones ♫
♫ I used to know,
“with its own built-in turkey timer. ♫
♫ Where those treetops glisten
Ah-ah-ah ♫
And now, we return you to the most...
♫ And children listen ♫
cherished of Christmas stories,
Miracle on 34th Street, starring
♫ Sleigh bells in the snow, ♫
[Fire Extinguisher Blasting]
Ah.
That is exactly why you want a high quality
fire extinguisher right in the kitchen.
Those flames were really big, Dad.
Well, turkeys funny that way.
Dad!
It's done!
You like osso buco, Charlie?
They're closed. You know,
Neal is a real good cook.
Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.
You don't like him very much, do you, Dad?
Charlie, yeah. I was joking, okay?
I'm sorry. I was just kiddin' around.
I like him a lot... Yeah, sure,
I like him. You know, there...
There's just something about him that
makes me wanna... Lash out irrationally.
Where did you hear that?
From Neal. I learn a lot
from him. He listens to me.
Yeah. Then he charges you for it.
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ I'm dreaming,
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Of a white Christmas
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
All right, Denny's. It's always open.
I don't wanna eat here.
What're you talkin' about? Everybody likes
Denny's. It's an American institution.
[Crowd Conversing in Japanese]
Are you with Hatsutashi?
No.
Dad burned the turkey.
Oh, yeah. This way. Come on.
Right over there.
Thank you.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Here we go.
Burn the turkey?
Coffee?
No, thank you... Judy.
What do you say we start
out with cold glasses...
of delicious seasonal favorite eggnog?
I don't like eggnog.
We're out.
Coffee. Decaf.
Mm-hmm.
I'll have chocolate milk, please.
We're out.
Plain milk's fine.
Okay.
At least we know they got hot apple pie.
We did.
Mm-hmm.
This is nice.
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
"And Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap..."
"Had just settled down
for a long winter's nap."
"When out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter..."
"I sprang from my bed to
see what was the matter."
"Away to the window I flew like a flash"
"With a miniature sleigh and St. Nick...
And Prancer and Dancer"
"...and to all a good night."
What is' that?
What's what?
"A Rose Suchak ladder”?"
It's not a ladder.
I said, "Arose such a clatter."
It means, "Came a big noise."
What?
Charlie, "arose" is a word
that means "it came,”
and "clatter” is a big noise."
Now please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes.
How do reindeer fly?
They don't have any wings.
Fairy dust.
That's from Peter Pan, Dad.
Horns.
Antlers.
Whatever. Their, uh, antlers give them...
You know, there's a slipstream effect. The air
goes... They move fast... They're weightless.
But if Santa's so fat, how did he get down
the chimneys? He sucks it in like Grandpa.
What about people who don't have fireplaces?
How does he get into their house?
Charlie, sometimes believing
in something means you...
means you just believe in it.
Santa uses reindeer to fly because
that's how he has to get around.
But you do believe in Santa, right, Dad?
Of course I believe in Santa.
Now please go to sleep.
Dad?
What is it, Charlie?
Maybe you better leave some cookies
and milk out... just in case, okay?
Great. I'll just go preheat the oven.
And don't forget the fire extinguisher.
Good night, Charlie.
Ho!
Settle down there.
Dad! Dad!
Wh-What? Hmm.
I heard a clatter!
What, Charlie?
There! A clatter.
Charlie, what're you talking about?
You know, it "came a big noise?"
It's coming from outside!
Charlie, it's just the wind or something.
Come on, let's go back to bed.
Somebody's on the roof. Maybe it's Santa.
Not now, Charlie. I want you to sit here,
and I want you to stay right there.
Charlie, do you know how to call 911?
Sure. 911.
Yeah, great. Stay there.
Hey, you!
Oops! Wow! Wow-oh! Oof!
Whoa, whoa!
Wh-Wh-Whoa!
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, buddy.
All right. You should
just... stay still. Perfect.
You got him!
Charlie, stay where you are. Charlie,
would you listen to me? Stay up there!
It is Santa! You killed him.
Did not! It is not Santa.
Well, he was.
He's got some ID on him, I bet.
Fella, if you can hear me.
I'm just looking for your identification.
Once I figure out who you are,
I'll give you a lift back to the mall.
"If something should
happen to me, put on my suit."
"The reindeer will know what to do."
Yeah, right.
Whoa.
Dad!
Hey.
He disappeared!
Whoa!
He's naked somewhere.
You gonna put on the suit like
the card said? Are you? No. No.
Come on, Dad. I wanna go too.
Stop it, Charlie. We're not goin' anywhere.
You never do what I wanna do!
Would you please be quiet for a minute...
so I can figure this out?
Reindeer up on the roof.
Santa suit laying on the ground.
Guy fell. Not my fault.
Reindeer on the roof. That is
hard to explain. It's the ladder.
Ooh!
Where the Hell'd this come from?
Look here, Dad. "The Rose
Suchak Ladder Company."
Huh? "Out by the roof
there's a Rose Suchak ladder."
Just like the poem.
Just like the poem?
Charlie, come on down from there.
Charlie, get down from there!
Dad! You gotta see this!
Don't touch anything!
It's great!
I'm just gonna call the police. I'll carry this
stuff up there. MLet them deal with it, okay?
Whoa! This guy was huge.
Dad, isn't this neat?
Charlie. Charlie!
Stay away from those things.
They're reindeer.
You don't know where they've been.
They all look like they've got
key lime disease.
Oof! Easy, Rudolph.
Excuse me... Comet.
Dad! Check out Santa's sleigh!
There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh.
Sure there is. You said
you believed in Santa...
Right? I did? I do!
What about the reindeer?
These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?
I hope not.
These are, uh...
Ah, a gift.
Probably from the cable company.
We're getting the Disney Channel now.
Merry Christmas.
Now, hop out of there, please.
I don't wanna go.
Listen, Charlie, I'm not kidding. Let's go!
Oh-whoa-whoa!
Yeah, let's go! Whoa!
Aaah!
Charlie!
Hold on, Charlie!
Whoa!
Giddyap, Comet!
Whoa, let's go!
Dad, climb up here.
There we go.
So, ah, if we go straight
on this road and we hit I-94...
Huh-aah!
Uh, Oh!
Well, we made good time. Now what do we do?
Get the bag of toys! And do what?
Go down the chimney. Down the chimney!
You want me to take the
toys down the chimney...
into a strange house in my underwear?
No. You gotta put the suit on first.
You know what we're gonna
do, is we're gonna get outta here...
because this whole thing is stupid.
How come everything I want to do is stupid?
I didn't say that.
Gaah!
Freezing my nubs off out here, and
you want me to get into a Santa costume.
This is great. A Santa costume.
Oh, this thing. You never
know where it's been. Ooh!
A thousand malls.
Well, I hope you're happy, Comet.
Hope you're happy. But most of all...
I hope the guy that lives here is a tailor!
Nice coat.
Well, how do I look?
Nice?
You forgot the sash.
You're right.
This completes the ensemble.
All right. Got my boots.
Now I've got the suit on. How am
I supposed to know what to leave?
Maybe there's a list. A list. How
silly of me. Of course there's a list.
Careful, Dad!
Aah! I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay!
Look! You're flying!
It's okay, I'm used to it.
I lived through the '60s.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aaah! Uuh! Oh!
Uuh-uuh!
Nice teeth.
Who's down there?
It's the holidays. Come on, come on.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Hey, Charles!
Need a little help down here!
Puh-uh!
Whoa! How'd you do that?
What'd it feel like, Dad?
It felt like Americas Most Wanted!
Now pull me in, quick!
We gotta get outta here.
Thanks. We gotta go home.
How do you start this thing?
Just like that!
[House Alarm Continues]
Whoa! This could be a really long night.
Do it again, Dad.
Please?
I can't. That thing's empty.
There's nothing in the bag.
Even if there was, didn't you
notice there's no chimney?
Where there's no chimney,
there's no fireplace.
Are you growling at me?
Look, Comet, like I
said, there is nothing left-
That's so weird, because I know when
I Did that No, no, no, no, no!
Hold it! There's no chimney here!
Can you hear me? No chimney, all right?
Lookin' good, Dad!
You have got to be kidding!
Come on! Look at the size of this thing!
Weird! Ow!
Ow! Oh!
Ow!
Santa?
Scott Calvin.
How come your clothes are so baggy?
Because Santa is
watching his saturated fats.
How come you don't have
a beard? Because I shaved!
Do you want this doll
or not? Go back to sleep.
You're supposed to drink the milk.
Look, I am lactose intolerant.
And I am just about this close to taking
all those presents back up the chimney.
Supposed to drink the milk!
Shut your eyes!
Yo!
How do you get in without a fireplace?
I don't know.
One just kind of appeared.
Awesome!
Oh, boy!
Charlie, look at the clouds
over here. Aren't they pretty...
Yah!
All right. Mornin', fellas.
Mornin', sport. We're
done, Comet. Ho-ho-ho.
Back to the house.
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.
When I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan!
Is this okay, Dad?
No, it's not okay!
Hey, does this look like home to you guys?
No, no!
No, no, no, no!
Hey, hey! Where you
goin'? Come back here. Aww!
♫ In the silence of the night, ♫
♫ When the snow lies soft and still ♫
Hey, hey! Hey, buddy!
You sir. Hey!
♫ You can see a magic light, ♫
♫ And hear the ring of Christmas bells ♫
Can you 'near me?
♫ Though the night seems long and dark ♫
♫ It is the earth ♫
What's that? I don't know.
♫ Just gone to sleep ♫
The stars, that dot...
I think it's the North Pole.
That's the North Pole?
♫ The sky above, ♫
Hey, buddy, we need some help.
♫ Hold you in, ♫
Hello! What are you doing?
♫ Their precious keep, ♫
♫ So close your eyes
and come with me ♫
♫ The Christmas bells
will bring you home ♫
Hey, look! Here comes the new Santa!
♫ And now with song we fill the night ♫
♫ While magic dances in the light ♫
♫ To wish you now and all the year ♫
♫ The joy that comes with Christmas cheer ♫
♫ Sit back.
Hear our voices fill the air ♫
♫ To drive
the winter's cold away ♫
♫ And so our hearts
with all will share ♫
♫ The love that comes
with Christmas day ♫
♫ The love that comes
with Christmas day ♫
♫ The Christmas bells
will bring you home ♫
Where are all the grownups?
This is so cool!
Stay here.
Hey, kid, kid. Kid, who's in charge here?
You are. And I'm not a kid.
I've pointy shoes that are
older than you. I'm an elf!
Uh, you guys, or you girls...
Who gives the orders? Who's your boss?
You are.
No, no, no.
Who's the head elf?
You are!
Hey!
Who's causin' all the trouble around here?
He is.
She is.
Excuse me, are we on a coffee break?
We don't drink coffee.
Then I guess the breaks over.
Back to work.
Thanks.
Take it easy on her, will ya?
Who are you?
I'm Bernard.
Nice to meet ya, Santa.
I'm not Santa! I've had a rough night.
There's been clogs barking, guns goin' off.
Look, my back's killing me. Have you ever
tried to shove a sea kayak down a chimney?
I'm tired of this small talk.
Hmm.
The other Santa disappeared, right?
Wait a minute. Hey!
I know where this is goin'.
It wasn't my fault. The other
guy fell. It was an accident.
I've got homeowners insurance
and a good attorney.
Not as good as my wife's, but
let's not open up that wound.
Hold it a minute. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How did you know the other guy was gone?
Can I get you a drink?
No, I don't want a drink.
I'm thirsty... and hungry too.
Charlie, I thought I told you to
stay in the sleigh. Who's this?
This... this is my son, Charlie.
I'm sorry. Charlie,
this is Buh, Beh, Beh...
Bernard.
Bernard.
Hi, Bernard.
Hiya, sport.
Hey, Dad, he called me
"sport" just like you. Wonderful.
Hey, you know what?
I got somethin' for you.
Okay, now hold out your hand, all right?
Uuh!
Now, be very careful.
This is very old, just like me.
Shake it up, Charlie.
Wow.
Why don't you, uh, hold onto it for me
for a while. It might come in handy.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
I promise I'll take real good care of it.
Make sure you do.
I will.
Hey, Dad, look!
Huh. Fabulous ball. Hey, Barabbas.
Bernard! Bernard!
Can we takea direct flight back to reality.
Or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Uh, Larry...
Take Charlie here and get him some chow.
No, Larry, don't do that. Charlie!
He'll be okay. Follow me,
you'll want to get out of those clothes.
I, Uh... No, look Barnaby.
I just want to go home.
Look, I am not Santa Claus!
Ahh!
Did you or did you not read the card?
Yeah, I read the card.
Then you are the new Santa.
In putting on the hat and jacket, you
accepted the contract. What contract?
The card in the Santa suit.
You said you read it, right?
So when you put on the suit. You
fell subject to the Santa Clause.
Here. The Santa Claus? Oh, you
mean the guy that fell off my roof?
No, no, no. Not Santa Claus the person,
Santa Clause the clause.
What?
Look, you're a businessman,
right? Okay. Yeah.
A clause, as in the
last line of a contract.
You got the card?
Oh!
Okay, look.
The Santa Clause: "In putting on
this suit and entering the sleigh..."
"The wearer waives any and all rights to any
previous identity, real or implied, Huh?"
"And fully accepts the
duties and responsibilities..."
"Of Santa Claus in perpetuity until such
time that wearer becomes unable to do so..."
"By either accident or design."
What does that mean?
It means you put on the
suit, you're the big guy.
That's ridiculous. I didn't put on a
suit just to... Try to understand this!
Oo-oo-ooh!
Let me explain something to you, okay?
Toys have to be delivered. I'm not gonna
do it. It's not my job. I'm just an elf.
It's Santa's job, but Santa
fell off a roof; Your roof.
You read the card, you put on the suit.
That clearly falls under the Santa Clause.
Now you're Santa, okay?
A question.
What?
When can I get outta here?
Dad, you gotta see this place!
You leave tomorrow morning. You have
11 months to get your affairs in order...
and you're due back here Thanksgiving.
I'm not coming back here on Thanksgiving.
I'll ship the list to your house.
What list?
Come on, now. The list.
♫ He's making a list
Checkin' it twice ♫
♫ Gonna find out who's naughty or nice ♫
Ugh! Look, you put a "P" next to the kids who
are nice and a "C" next to the naughty ones.
Yeah! "P" for present,
"C" for coal, right, Bernard?
Right! Huh! Wait a minute! How
do I know who's good and bad?
You'll know.
What if I don't wanna do this?
Don't even kid about a thing like that!
Why not?
What if I don't buy into this Santa Claus
thing? What if I choose not to believe it?
Then there would be millions of
disappointed children around the world.
You see, children hold the spirit
of Christmas within their hearts.
You wouldn't want to be responsible
for killing the spirit of Christmas.
Now, would you... Santa?
Judy will take you to your room. Get out
of the suit, it needs to be cleaned.
And taken in. Then get some sleep.
We've got a lot of work to do
and only a year in which to do it.
Judy.
Santa.
Scott Calvin.
Follow me.
I'll just take the next train.
Dad, come on!
Charlie!
Come on, Dad!
Charlie, wait up!
That's funny. I like that.
I like that too. But I don't like...
Wow,
Oh! Aah!
Can I get you anything?
The kitchen's always open.
How about a stiff drink?
You should get some sleep.
Here are your pajamas. I'll be right back.
Look, Judy. Look over there.
Look over there. I know.
Look over there. There's a canoe.
Aha, yeah, it's true.
Oh, look, there's an emu!
Look at him!
Shoo!
Santa?
Scott Calvin.
I brought you some cocoa.
No, thanks.
My own recipe.
Took me 1,200 years to get it right.
1,200 years?
That's right.
You know, I must say,
you look pretty good for your age.
Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping.
Okay.
Mm.
Hmm. This is good.
Huh! This is really good.
Not too hot, extra
chocolate, shaken, not stirred.
You look distressed.
Distressed? I'm way past distressed.
Why's that?
I'm talking to an elf.
And I stopped believing in
Santa Claus a long time ago.
That's not surprising. Most
grownups can't believe in magic.
It just... sort of
It grows out of them.
Look, you're a nice little elf.
Thanks.
But this is a dream
I mean, this is fabulous. Is that a
polar bear directing traffic down there?
I see it... but I don't believe it.
You're missing the point.
What is the point?
Seeing isn't believing;
Believing is seeing.
Kids don't have to see this place
to know that it's here.
"They just... KNOW."
Well, you should get
some rest, Good night, sir.
Dad!
Dad!
Wake up, Sleepy!
Come on, get up!
Come on, Dad, come on.
See all the neat toys!
Stop shakin' me, Charlie.
Come on, get up, get up!
Okay.
Come on, it's Christmas morning.
Great! Go make some coffee.
Come on, Dad, let's go!
Okay.
Mmm.
Huh!
Hoo! Heh.
Are you okay, Dad?
Yeah. Just fine, just fine.
Are you having a heart attack?
I know CPR.
No, I was just...
S.C. Yeah, Santa Claus.
Hey. Same initials as your name, Dad.
Scott Calvin.
What?
Oh, Charlie!
Oh, merry Christmas, honey.
Did you have a good time?
Great time! The best!
Great-Ho-ho!
Scott, nice Pee Jays. Very festive.
Where'd you get them?
I don't know.
Judy gave them to you.
Judy, remember?
Who?
Up at the North Pole.
Ah, one of Santa's little helpers.
Last night, Dad and me
went with the flying reindeer.
It was really neat, Mom. Dad was Santa,
and Larry showed me the workshop.
You know, where they make all the toys?
Gee, thanks for...
keeping his feet on the ground.
You bet.
Honey, you go wait in the car
for a minute. I'll be right there.
Merry Christmas.
Bye, Dad. Thanks for a
great night at the North Pole.
So, uh...
What've you been telling him?
Nothing.
It's just... I had this
really strange dream...
and I must've told him all about it.
Wait.
Charlie.
Scott. Nice jammies.
Hi, Dad.
Thanks. About what you said in the house...
Who showed you the workshop?
The elf.
How'd I get the pajamas?
I told you.Judy.
Oh, wait, wait.
Judy was the name of the waitress
at the restaurant last night.
Some waitress gave you pajamas?
What's this all about?
Dad took me to the North Pole,
and Larry showed me the workshop.
The North Pole!
Yeah. Dad's the new Santa.
The regular Santa fell off the
roof and Dad put on the suit.
Charlie, we'll, discuss this at home.
The clause. The Santa Clause.
It's just a dream.
Stuff like that doesn't happen.
It was a dream.
Come on!
I don't even wear pajamas.
Normally I sleep naked. Buck naked!
Hah! Morning, Mrs. McGloin, Mary,
Catherine. Eyes front, Mary Catherine!
Sometimes boxer shorts. You know. Heh-heh!
So, remember, kids...
there is nothing more painful
than third degree burns.
Well, thank you, Fireman O'Hara.
And I think the whole
class will join me in saying...
sorry about your partner.
Well, perhaps this is a good
tim to bring up the psychiatrist.
Charlie, would you
like to introduce your, uh
Dr. Miller!
Can I ask Dad to go first?
Well... if that's how you feel, Charlie.
That's how he feels, Neal. Come on.
Nice sweater, buddy.
This is my dad, Scott Calvin.
He's got a really neat job.
Thank you, Charlie.
My dad is Santa Claus.
Oh, boy. Ha ha!
I think what he means is,
I'm like Santa Claus.
We're both giving, we're both jolly...
and we both work very hard one day a year.
Hoe-boy!
That's not what I mean, Dad.
Look, on Christmas Eve, my
clad pushed Santa off the roof.
No, Charlie-Ch-Ch-Charlie! Santa
disappeared and my clad took his place.
Then I went with him to
deliver all the presents.
Then the reindeer flew us to the
North Pole where the head elf...
Bernard, gave me this.
Charlie...
Look, I work for a toy company.
I deliver toys all over the country.
So, in a way, I'm like Santa Claus.
Yes, sweetheart?
Do you make the toys?
No, stupid, the elves do!
Bobby, we don't say "stupid, "and we
don't say "elves." They're "little people."
No, but they really are elves.
Whatever, honey. Which
one's your favorite reindeer?
Comet.
Uh, I-I-I don't have a favorite. Huh!
So, lemme get this straight, Santa.
You mean, when I grow up
if I wanna be Santa Claus...
All I gotta do is push you off a roof?
He said that it was the best
Christmas he ever had? Oh, big surprise!
It's just nice to hear it from him.
Is that a problem with you?
All right. So?
May I speak, please? I am a doctor.
No, he's not. He's a psychiatrist.
Please. Go ahead, Dr. Miller.
I guess we know who's the teacher's pet.
Scott! Oh, grow up.
The reason we're here is
that this is far more serious...
than a boy believing or
not believing in Santa Claus.
That's right, because Charlie thinks
that this whole thing actually happened.
Scott, what was the last thing
you and Charlie did...
before you went to bed Christmas Eve?
We shared a bowl of sugar;
Did some shots of brown liquor;
Played with my shotguns,
field dressed a cat.
Looked for women.
I read him a book!
What book? Uh, Hollywood Wives.
The Night Before Christmas, folks. Come on!
And did you go to the North Pole?
This is ridiculous. I don't
have time for this. Ridiculous...
or not, Scott. For Charlie,
this isn't some dream; It is real.
You need to sit down with Charlie.
Explain to him you are not Santa Claus.
They're like the bears
at the North Pole, Dad.
Charlie, I already told you,
we did not go to the North Pole.
That was a dream.
You're in denial, Dad.
Denial! You don't even
know what that means.
Well, you are. I know what happened.
How do you know that?
How? You don't have any proof.
Proof? Why can't we both...
think of it as just a great
dream and forget about it?
What about this? Remember
all the neat stuff inside?
Charlie... this is a toy.
We used to make things like this
at work, but no one bought 'em.
Here. I don't want to
talk about this anymore.
I know who you are, Dad.
You will figure it out soon enough.
There are a lot of kids that believe
in you. You can't let them down.
Charlie, you're wrong.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
♫ He sees you when you're sleeping ♫
♫ He knows when you're awake ♫
♫ He knows if you've been bad or good ♫
♫ Rollin' Keep those reindeer rollin'... ♫
Okay.
♫ You better watch out
You better not cry ♫
♫ You better not pout, I'm tellin you
why, ♫ Come on Dancer, come on Prancer.
♫ Santa Claus is coming to town, ♫
Whoa! We can't stop.
But I have to go to the bathroom.
I told you, should've gone
before we left the North Pole.
♫ ...and rummy tum-tums ♫
Whoa! Right here. Turn over here.
♫ Curly-haired dolls
that toddle and coo ♫
♫ Elephant spokes
and kiddie cars my ♫
Where is he?
Well, he could be in his room jumping up and
down on his bed, wearing a red hat and galoshes.
I don't care what Neal's doing. Where's
Charlie? Oh, ho-ho! Oh, I see, I see.
Well, if you can't be father of the year.
Why not be Father Christmas, huh?
Charlie, it's just not logical.
How can one man... in one night...
visit all the children of the world?
Not everyone celebrates Christmas.
And I think there's some
sort of time continuum...
that breaks down once
Santa's in his sleigh.
What about fireplaces? A
lot of people don't have them.
How does Santa visit those people?
He turns into jell-O and...
The fireplace kind of appears
and he goes through it like this.
What about... the reindeer!
Have you ever seen a reindeer fly?
Yes.
Well, I haven't.
Have you ever seen a million dollars?
No.
Just because you haven't seen
it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Hi, Neal.
Howdy, sport.
Hi, Dad. You wanna take a walk?
I wanna talk to you.
Sure. I'll get my coat.
Okay, hustle up.
Scott? Can I have a minute?
Sure.
I think Charlie is
conflicted at the moment.
Wow. Really?
Boy. Hmm.
'Preciate your analysis, I really do.
Huh! Boy, you got more important things
to worry about, you know.
Like, where are you gonna get more sweaters
after the circus pulls out of town?
Scott! I mean, you're not listening.
We are very concerned about this.
Concerned about what?
This... If Charlie spending time
with you is the best thing for him.
You were right about the sweater, okay?
Do you think by next year I'll be big
enough to drive the sleigh all by myself?
No!
But I've been practicing.
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Charlie, hold on a second. We've got
to talk about this Santa Claus thing.
Charlie, There, there is no...
No what, Dad?
There's no reason why we have to
tell anybody about the North Pole.
Why not?
Well, sometimes some things, big things...
should remain unsaid,
like between two people...
Oh, you mean like a secret.
Yes. Like a secret. Let's keep it secret.
How come?
Because of Mom and Neal.
Not just because of them. There's school.
Everybody thinks.
No, it's not important what they think.
It...
How does five bucks sound to ya?
This is something I really want you
to do for me, sport.
I want to keep this secret.
Will ya do that, please?
Okay, Dad.
All right.
Great.
You don't have to worry about
the Santa Claus thing anymore.
So when do I get the five bucks?
...in the morning.
It's gonna be a beautiful day.
Spend the day with me, Larry B.
Oof!
Aah!
Huh?
Somethings wrong with the mirror.
What?
Somethings wrong with the scale!
Aaah!
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hmm, I'll have a field
green salad and-Oh, my God.
What the, What? Scott?
Calvin?
Sorry, uh, the dry cleaner...
In my neighborhood went up in smoke,
some big chemical fire.
All my clothes, poof, gone.
God, Your... Your weight.
What happened?
Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic.
Almost killed me. But the guy
at the emergency room says...
the swelling will go down.
I hope.
So... did I miss anything?
No, we were, uh, just about to order lunch.
Great! I'm starving.
I'll have a salad and ice
tea and dressing on the side.
Ah, pasta and tomatoes, uh, and very
light on the oil. Can you do that?
And I'll have a Caesar. No dressing.
And one of those homemade cookies,
the warm chocolate chip. No nuts.
And a little slice of cheesecake.
Uh, creme brulee...
and, um, hot fudge sundae, extra hot fudge.
On the side.
Anything to drink?
Ice-cold milk.
Stung by a bee, Scott?
A big bee.
Finished?
Okay, now, remember.
This is just a storyboard.
But here is our...
preliminary Total Tank TV spot.
Okay, now, we've got Santa.
He's up in the North Pole.
He's gettin' ready for... Christmas!
Oh, no.
Problem?
It's just a little thing. The elves.
What about the elves?
They look so funny.
They're supposed to look funny.
They're elves.
Just my opinion, Can't they look a little
younger with silver specks on their cheeks?
Can we continue here?
Okay, now this year Santa's Not
going out in a sleigh.
This time he's goin' Total Tank!
Wait a minute! No way! No way Santa's
goin' anywhere without his sleigh.
He would if he's tryin'
to sell the Total Tank.
Well, isn't that a pretty picture?
Santa rolling down the block in a panzer.
Well, kids, I certainly hope
you've been good this year.
'Cause it looks like Santa just
took out the Pearson home.
Incoming!
Oh, please.
And another thing. What about the reindeer?
Reindeer and Santa. Santa and reindeer.
It's kind of a package deal.
Calvin. You don't believe in Santa, do you?
Calvin, can we get back to the
presentation? I'm not done yet.
Since we've opened this box, have any
of you tried to build the Total Tank?
It's got 10,000 parts, and
even if you do get it together...
it breaks ten minutes later.
Then you got to spend more
money to buy more parts.
I thought that was the whole point.
No, no, no, no.
What we got to do is develop a basic,
simple, inexpensive toy...
that will nurture a
child's creative thinking.
Calvin!
Here, try the brown ones.
Can I see you outside a minute?
I don't know what's happening to you.
You're starting to look
like the Pillsbury dough boy.
You're falling apart. I know! I know.
I don't know what came over me.
Just get some help.
You should see a doctor, a shrink.
A dietitian, anything. Just get some help.
Okay, Scott. The time is up.
Ooh!
Get over here and check your pulse.
All right.
Okay, hmm?
Ah.
Huh!
Well, nuts. I...
Oh, no, uh, your pulse is great.
I don't know, Scott.
You're as healthy as a horse.
Yeah. Clydesdale.
Okay, look. So, what?
You put on a little weight.
A little weight?
Does this look like a little weight to you?
Weight can fluctuate from year to year.
Fluctuate? You make it sound like
I'm retaining water.
I've gained 45 pounds in a week!
Pete, what's happening to me?
What's your diet like?
Milk and cookies.
Really?
But I don't finish all the milk.
Well, then, there is your problem.
Just try to cut back on the sweets.
Anything else?
Yeah. How fast does hair grow? Facial hair?
What?
I shave in the morning
and in the afternoon I look like this.
Well, it could be a hormonal imbalance.
That would explain the mood swings.
Mood swings?
Look at my hair.
It's turning gray.
It's middle age, buddy. It happens.
And with that body, you
should be thankful you have hair.
Look, if it bothers you, you can dye it.
And you should diet!
Ah, just kiddin'.
Okay, up with the shirt.
Let's take a listen to the old ticker.
Okay.
Ooh! That's cold.
Ah.
Get it!
What?
I want some ballet slippers.
Hi Mom!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Hold on now. Wait a minute.
Wait, I'm not done.
Fax me. Hi, hey. This
probablylooks pretty odd, doesn't it?
These kids lined up all by themselves.
Scott, I think it's safe to say...
you're taking this Santa
thing to an unhealthy level.
Here's my card. Call me.
Scott, I-I really have to tell you
that this is beginning to scare me.
I never in my wildest...
Well, no, okay, maybe my wildest...
But certainly never in my normal dreams.
But then this is Scott we're talking about.
Laura, the point.
I never thought you would stoop
to changing your physical appearance...
in order to make Charlie like you.
Do you have any concept of how
dangerous this is to a little boy?
Whoa, whoa. "How dangerous"?
Mom, what's the matter?
Come on, Charlie. We're going home.
But we just started.
You let him stay. I'll go.
If you don't get your act together,
Scott, so help me... Watch it folks.
Mom!
I will just, Oh!
Hi there.
Hi. I got a delivery for S.C.
You S.C.?
Scott Calvin, that's me.
Sign here, please.
All right.
Thanks. I'll get your packages.
Packages?
Yeah. There's quite a few of them.
That's great.
I'll leave the door open. Just
leave them inside here. Will do.
It's the list!
"Armand Assante"?
Yo!
Hold it! Hold-Oh! Hold it!
You! You! Take that-
Come on! Come on!
Stay away from the truck.
What am I supposed to do with all
these packages, guys? Come on! Aah!
You know, I knew it. I knew that
something was going on. I just...
What I can't believe is that he would
go behind our backs all this time...
confusing Charlie again just...
I, I What are...
What are we supposed to do?
Well, there's one obvious alternative.
Okay.
Ah.
Annie, nice.
Beep!
Johnny, naughty "Johnny, wait up!"
Gary, nice.
Veronica, very nice.
In your dreams, sleigh boy.
Huh?
I'm in big trouble.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Judge Wayland! Office.
Charlie, do you mind if I
talk to you for a minute?
It's okay, honey.
Come on.
We won't be long.
Are we doing the right thing, Neal?
Something needs to shake Scott.
Yeah, but...
But to take away his visitation rights.
Honey, the man is delusional.
Okay, okay.
So maybe I'm having second
thoughts, kind of. I just...
I mean, what was so bad
about Charlie believing in Santa?
Well, he's a little old.
Oh, come on, Laura. Don't you remember
when you stopped believing in Santa Claus?
I was Charlie's age, I guess.
I wrote Santa a letter
every week that year.
Well, okay. You know,
maybe. Maybe not every week.
But...
Boy, I really wanted a "Mystery Date Game."
Do you remember those?
No. Of course you don't.
You know, no one does.
I don't even think they
make them anymore, but...
Well, anyway...
Christmas morning came and...
Oh, I got dozens of presents.
I got everything.
Except "Mystery Date."
I was three, and it was an
Oscar Mayer wienie whistle.
Christmas came. No wienie whistle.
And that's when I stopped believing.
You were three?
Yeah.
Oh, Neal.
Where's Charlie?
I want to talk to him.
He's with the judge.
Dad!
It's all okay. I told
the judge everything...
about you and the North Pole.
After reviewing all of your testimonies,
I've come to a very difficult decision.
I'm sorry to do this in light
of the holiday season.
But in the best interest of the child...
I'm granting the petition
of Dr. and Mrs. Miller.
pending a hearing
after the first of the year.
Hey, Neal.
Scott?
You're not supposed to be here.
Don't make me beat you up, Neal.
Oh, would Santa really beat someone up?
I'm this close.
So you still believe you're Santa?
I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
Of course you are, Dad.
How can you say that?
Think of all those kids.
The only kid I'm thinkin' about is you.
Dad, I'm fine.
You can't let them down.
Then I believe in you.
Charlie, listen.
You listen! You think you know
who he is. You don't! Charlie.
Honey, listen. You're confused.
I know exactly who he is.
Charlie! He's not Santa.
He is too Santa. We went
to the North Pole together.
I saw it. The elves are real old
even though they look like me.
Bernard called me sport, 'cause he
knew everything. Right, Dad?
Remember!
Thank you, Charlie.
Thank you.
I love you, Dad.
Could you guys leave us alone for a minute?
I mean, so I can say
good-bye to him properly?
Sure!
So, you saw the ball come to life?
You bet I did. Well, Charlie,
I guess I better go.
I'll get my stuff.
Wait, sport. Wait, wait.
I think it's a much better idea
if you stayed here with your mom.
I want to be with you, Dad.
Boy, I love hearing you say that.
You mean I can go?
Boy, this bird is dry.
Haven't you people heard about basting?
Bernard!
Hi ya, sport.
Bernard, can I go? Please, can
I go, Bernard? It's okay with me.
Charlie, if I uh...
Charlie?
Scott!
Charlie!
This... is our perpetrator!
Scott Calvin, 38 years old.
Believes himself to be Santa Claus.
Ladies and gentlemen, this one
is not going to be easy to find.
Won't the bright red suit
and beard give him away?
Charlie's got some great
ideas on how to keep you safe.
Santa, this is Quintin, head
of research and development.
Quintin, good to meet ya.
Hello, Santa.
Charlie and I have put our heads together.
I think we've got a few surprises for you.
This is some of the best stuff that's
come out of the workshop since the ball.
Fabulous. What happens
if I fall off the roof?
Is this the most current photo you have?
Hold on.
Hello?
Mom!
Oh, Charlie. Oh, my God.
Honey, how are you?
W-Where are you?
Are you okay?
I'm fine. We're up at the North Pole.
Charlie, are you sure you're okay?
I'm terrific.
I'm helping the elves build a new sleigh.
We're trying for a vertical
takeoff. Well, gotta go.
The elves need me.
No. Charlie, wait.
No. Don't hang up. Charlie, don't
See you at Christmas.
Fireplaces will no longer be a problem.
It's a new fabric.
Completely flame retardant.
It's light, yet durable.
And you can wear the jumpsuit
under your coat and pants.
But what do I do if I fall off a roof?
We'll cordon off a three-block radius
around Dr. Miller's house.
Calvin is to be apprehended unharmed.
And remember, he'll probably
be dressed like Santa Claus.
♫ Give it your best shot ♫
♫ What you got is
oh, so sweet ♫
Freeze!
What?
♫ I need a routine
Gimme all your lovin' ♫
Not even my suit.
It's a rental.
♫ Gimme all your lovin'
Don't let up until we 're through ♫
"From Comet, To Santa."
Did you make the card?
It's a nice rope. Just in
case I fall off the roof?
Comet, Thanks, buddy.
♫ If! Blow my top ♫
♫ Will you let it
go to your head ♫
♫ Gimme all your lovin ♫
All right, let's go!
You ready to go, sport?
You betcha, Dad.
Now Dasher, now Dancer!
Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet, on Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
Hah!
"Hah!"
Bye! Bye, Quintin!
Bye, Peewee!
Merry Christmas!
Hyah! Ooh!
Take your time.
Turn to your right. Hello!
No.
Charlie, stay in your seat.
I gotta show you this.
Radar-jamming jingle bells...
snow screen
DC-10 alert and air freshener.
Wow!
And most important of all...
your hat, My hat?
It's lined with a two-way radio.
Microphone's in here.
It connects you directly to Judy.
Wait a minute. What's this?
Oh, that's a C.D.
Compact disc.
No. Cookie/Cocoa Dispenser.
The cocoa comes out nice and hot.
And... out pops a cookie.
How could I have done
this without ya, Charlie?
You couldn't.
Shh.
You're fatter this year.
Thank you very much.
You've grown too.
And you were a very good girl this year,
but I want you to go back to sleep, okay?
I think the milk's a little sour.
It's soy milk.
Huh?
You said you were lactose intolerant.
I did say that, didn't I?
Thanks for remembering.
Go to sleep.
Merry Christmas, Sara.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
Look, there's Mom and Neal's street.
Can we go there next?
Sure.
I made something for them at the workshop.
Freeze!
Ah, ho, ho! You officers
really gave me a start.
Merry Christmas, guys.
Not for you, fat boy.
"Fat boy"? Guys. Ah, ah, ah!
Nice and easy now.
Oh!
Guys, guys. I got a lot of work to do.
This is a big mistake.
You got to watch the suit too. This is
so old. It's an antique, you know.
Where's the boy? He's in the sleigh.
We got Calvin. We're bringing him out.
Santa, are you okay?
Over, over.
Watch your head.
Santa? Are you all right?
Santa?
It'll be okay, kids.
Let him go! Let Santa go!
Honey, I'm sure Charlie's fine.
We've got a problem. Santa was at
the Millers, but he's not responding.
Well, time to deploy E.L.F.S.
Let's go!
Go, go, go, go!
Look, I know you're Scott Calvin.
You know you're Scott Calvin.
So let's make this simple.
I say, name. You say, Scott Calvin.
Name?
Kriss Kringle.
Name?
Sinter Klas.
Name?
Pere Noel.
Buono Natale.
Pelz-Nicole.
Topo Gigio.
Okay, Calvin. Maybe a couple of hours
in the tank will change your mind.
Charlie?
Yeah?
Don't worry. We're the good guys.
Come on. Let's go save Santa.
We can't. The police
are watching this place.
Yeah, they probably are. But you see, we
weren't figuring on walking out the front door.
We find that we can get around
a lot faster if we fly.
Now... grab hold of my hand.
And hang on tight.
And Charlie?
Yeah?
Don't ever try this
without elf super vision.
Hmm, Hah!
Ahhh!
We're looking for Santa Claus.
Go home, kids. Visiting hours are over.
We're not kids, and we're not visiting.
We're here to bust out my
dad. You're the Calvin boy.
Who are these other kids?
We're your worst nightmare.
Elves with attitude.
Oh!
Shouldn't have had that doughnut. Oh!
Untie me! I mean it!
Untie...
Charlie!
Are you okay, Dad?
I am now.
How'd you do that?
Tinsel. Not just for decoration.
Hmph.
Hey, excuse me.
Can I get some of that tinsel?
Mom?
Mom!
Neal? I'm home!
Charlie?
Charlie? Oh, my God, Charlie! Charlie.
Sweetheart. Oh, God.
Come here, come here.
Oh, my boy. Oh, sweetheart. Oh!
My boy, you're home!
Oh, I missed you so much.
How are you?
I'm fine, Mom.
Are you okay? Look at me.
Oh, Charlie, I missed you, honey,
Mom, I'm fine. It's okay.
I was so worried.
Mom, put me down.
Stop kissing me.
I don't have a lot of time.
Did you leave the gifts
I made under the tree?
You bet I did.
We better go.
No, Charlie. No, no, no.
No! Wait, Charlie.
It's okay, Laura.
Actually, I... I think it's
a much better idea...
that you stay here with your mom and Neal.
Really?
But, Dad...
No buts, Charlie.
I can't be selfish.
I can't be with ya all the time.
We're a family.
You, me, your mom...
and Neal.
And they need to be with ya too.
I miss you too much.
Come here a minute.
Ah, listen to me.
Come on, listen. There's
a lot of kids out there.
Okay? Millions of kids.
They all believe in me.
They're counting on me, Charlie.
I'm not gonna let 'em down.
I got a lot of work to do.
So I can't be selfish either.
You gave me a wonderful gift.
Listen, a wonderful gift.
You believed in me when nobody else did.
You helped make me Santa.
Selfish? Come on.
You're the least selfish person I know.
I love you, Santa Claus.
I love you, son.
Shh.
It's okay. Okay.
It's okay. Shh.
Laura, what do you think? Christmas Eve
you guys spend with Charlie?
Oh, my God.
It's you.
It really is you.
You really are... Santa Claus.
Pretty cool, huh?
Oh, my God.
And your parents thought
I'd never amount to anything.
Wait. Don't go yet.
I have something for you.
It's Santa.
Scott.
Neal.
Santa?
It's okay, Neal.
Here.
It's um, Well, it's...
It's my Christmas present for you.
It's the custody papers.
And, I want you to come and
see Charlie as often as you can.
You can count on it.
Thanks, Laura.
Merry Christmas.
What's all this boo-hooing goin'on here?
Hey, how ya doin'?
It's nothing, Bernard.
I'm just saying good-bye to Charlie.
What good-bye? You still
got the glass ball right? Yeah.
Well, all ya got to do is shake it
whenever you want to see your Dad.
Really?
He can come back to see you...
anytime day or night.
Hey, have I ever steered ya wrong?
Nice sweater.
Hey, did we make this?
Laura. He's sucking us into his delusions.
Look at the elaborate measures he's taken.
Neal, relax.
I'll explain it to you later.
Where'd he go?
Now, go, go!
Team one!
Okay, stand back, folks.
Give us some room.
Here you go, sir.
Thanks.
Return to your homes! Stay off the street!
Come on, folks. Let us do our job here.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hi!
Um, you know, you don't
have to send anybody...
Hey! Hey! My gosh! That's my ex-husband
and he's already up the chimney.
Chief, look up there.
Santa Claus!
Santa.
Look!
What is it?
Oh, wow!
Up there.
Do you see it?
Hey, do you see it?
Good-bye, Charlie.
Bye, Dad!
Merry Christmas to all!
And to all a good night!
I'm sorry, Charlie.
That's okay, Neal. You were
just denying your inner child.
You're gonna make a great
psychiatrist one clay, kid.
No, I think I'm going to
go into the family business.
Look out below!
My wienie whistle.
Bye!
Merry Christmas!
Charlie? Time to come inside.
Mom, this stupid ball. It's not working!
Shoot.
Hey sport!
Dad!
You miss me already?
I've been gone, what? Ten minutes?
Give me a break.
I was on my way to Cleveland.
Come here and give me a hug.
Ohhh! Mmmm!
Do you want to go for a quick ride?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Of course, it's up to your mom.
Please, Mom.
Go on. Get outta here!
All right.
Hold on.
On our way.
Bye, Mom!
Just a quick one.
And, uh...
not over any oceans, Scott.
Bye, Mom! Bye!
Scott.
Scott!
Santa!
♫ All the brightly colored ♫
paper
♫ Lies around
the Christmas tree ♫
♫ While mothers shake
their heads ♫
♫ And pack the decorations
carefully, ♫
♫ Ah the little children
know that ♫
♫ Monday's just another day ♫
♫ They feel a little sad
to think ♫
♫ That Santa's gone away ♫
♫ But Christmas will return ♫
♫ And joyful hearts
like candles burn ♫
♫ With love for all
the little ones ♫
♫ In countries far and near ♫
♫ And if we live and learn ♫
♫ To show the world
our real concern ♫
♫ Then Christmas
will return, yeah ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Yeah ♫
♫ Take a little
Christmas spirit ♫
♫ With you into
each new year ♫
♫ Make a little
Christmas spirit ♫
♫ Last 'til
Easter Sunday's here ♫
♫ Take it with you
through the summer ♫
♫ 'Til the autumn leaves
arrive ♫
♫ In the bitter cold
of winter ♫
♫ The spark is still alive ♫
♫ Christmas will return ♫
♫ And joyful hearts
like candles burn ♫
♫ With love for all
the little ones ♫
♫ In countries far and near ♫
;And if we live and learn ♫
♫ To show the world
our real concern ♫
♫ Then Christmas will return ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Christmas will return ♫
♫ 50 much ♫
♫ Love for the little ones ♫
♫ Oh, they can
live and learn ♫
♫ Yeah ♫
♫ Yeah ♫
♫ Take it with you
through the summer ♫
♫ 'Til the autumn leaves
arrive ♫
♫ In the bitter cold
of winter ♫
♫ See the spark
is still alive ♫
♫ Oh, oh
Christmas will return ♫
♫ joyful hearts
like candles burn ♫
♫ With love for all
the little ones ♫
♫ In counties far and near ♫
♫ If we live and learn ♫
♫ To show the world
our real concern ♫
♫ Christmas will return ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Every year ♫
Ho-ho-ho!
Merry Christmas!
Hey, guys.
Ho! Merry Christmas.
Thanks.
Yeah!
Ladies and gentlemen,
can I have your attention?
This has been our best year ever thanks
to Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly.
And I think we should
give thanks to the people...
responsible for our
record-breaking sales...
our Midwest marketing
and distribution team...
Scott Calvin and Susan Perry!
Let's hear it for 'em! Come on!
Susan, darling, come on up here,
Aren't they adorable?
Say a few words.
Thank you very much.
This was really a team effort.
I would just want to thank every
one of you individually
But we don't have time for that, do we?
In all seriousness, um, here at BNR Toys...
we're not just about
making a profit in quality toys.
We're also about families. But our
families aren't here with us right now.
Which is probably why Johnsons
secretary is sittin' in his lap.
You guys have a great
party. Have a great year.
Drive safe. Thanks very much.
Aren't they wonderful?
Laura, I was hoping to catch you
before you'd left your house.
I ran real late today. You
wouldn't believe the traffic out here.
Yeah, same to you!
And that's not very ladylike!
Anyway, I'll try to get to
my house as soon as I can.
Oh, there's the problem right there.
Three car pileup. I'm really gonna be late.
♫ Hark, carol bells Sweet silver bells
all seem to sing throw cares away ♫
♫ Christmas is here bringing good cheer
to young and old, meek and the bold ♫
♫ Ding dong and dong balance in song,
ring joyful ring, all caroling ♫
♫ One seems to hear words of good cheer
from everywhere filling the air ♫
♫ Oh, how they pound, raising the sound,
go hand in hand Calling in the town ♫
♫ Gaily they ring while people sing
songs of good cheer Christmas is here ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry
merry Christmas ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry,
merry Christmas, ♫
♫ On we will sing Dawn with a hymn,
angel will come to every home ♫
♫ Hark, carol bells Sweet silver bells
all seem to sing throw cares away ♫
♫ Hark, carol bells Sweet silver bells ♫
♫ From everywhere, filling the air, oh,
how they pound Raising the sound ♫
♫ Go hand in hand
Calling in the town ♫
♫ Gaily they ring while people sing
songs of good cheer Christmas is here ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry
merry Christmas ♫
♫ Merry, merry, merry,
merry Christmas, “
♫ On we will sing Dawn with a hymn,
angel will come to every home, ♫
♫ On we will sing Dawn with a hymn,
angel will come to every home, “
♫ Ding dong ding ♫
♫ Dong ♫
All right, let's go.
Bye, Charlie.
Bye, Neal.
Oh, sorry I'm late.
Mm. Hi.
Hi.
Did you want to come in for a minute?
Neal's waiting in the car, so-
Why doesn't he come in?
'Cause, Daddy, he says you'll just
end up saying something snotty.
Not necessarily. Could be rude
or sarcastic. Whatever it takes.
See? I gotta go.
Come on, come on.
Christmas Eve. Just a minute.
Watch those steps.
They're real slippery.
Ooh!
Told ya.
So...
Well...-
You goin' to your mom's for dinner?
Actually, we're gonna be with Neal's
family. Ah, Christmas at the pound.
[imitating Dog Howling,
Cat Hissing, Meowing]
There aren't that many
presents over there.
That's because Santa isn't here yet.
Neal doesn't believe in Santa.
Well, Neal's head comes to a point.
He's smart. He's a doctor.
He's not a doctor, he's a psychiatrist.
Take your coat off.
You're stickin' around, aren't ya?
I'll be right there just a sec.
I just want to... Did that jerk tell
Charlie there was no Santa Claus?
Wha... No. Oh, Charlie came home
from school the other day in tears...
because some big kid told him
there was no such thing as Santa. Ahh.
And, you know Neal.
WWll, he sat him down and...
And told him there was a Santa Claus.
Well, all he said was that Santa was...
more like a feeling.
You know, more like a state of
mind than a person. Kind of like Neal.
And who gave you permission to
tell Charlie there's no Santa Claus?
I think if we're going to destroy our
son's illusions, I should be a part of it.
Yeah, but you're never around,
are you, Scott? Oh, oh, please.
Listen, all we are trying to do is give
Charlie a firm grasp on reality.
That's a good idea. You don't want kids
runnin' around using their imaginations.
Oh, yeah. That's from the guy responsible
for the Do-It-All-For-You-Dolly.
Leave her out of this.
"Don't you burp me. Don't you change me".
Why do you guys always have to fight?
I, uh. We're not fighting.
It's your mom singing.
It sounds a lot like fighting,
doesn't it? Cats, even.
The trouble is, Neal and your morn, they don't
believe in Santa because they were real naughty.
Which is why they'll probably
get lumps of coal in their stockings.
I don't know. It seems kinda
babyish to believe in that kinda stuff.
What are you talkin' about? I
believe in Santa Claus. I'm not a baby.
Well...
Maybe it's time you left.
We don't want to keep
Dr. Pinhead waiting.
Come here.
Do I gotta stay?
Listen, you and your daddy...
are gonna have a great Christmas, okay?
Will you pick me up tomorrow?
Of course.
Early?
Yes.
We're talking sunup, you're here?
You'll be fine. Ah, merry Christmas,
Charlie. I love you.
I love you too, Mom.
You be a good boy, okay?
Bye, Mom.
Four hours?
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ I'm dreaming,
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Of a white Christmas ♫
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Your Christmas will be perfect...
just like the ones ♫
♫ I used to know,
“with its own built-in turkey timer. ♫
♫ Where those treetops glisten
Ah-ah-ah ♫
And now, we return you to the most...
♫ And children listen ♫
cherished of Christmas stories,
Miracle on 34th Street, starring
♫ Sleigh bells in the snow, ♫
[Fire Extinguisher Blasting]
Ah.
That is exactly why you want a high quality
fire extinguisher right in the kitchen.
Those flames were really big, Dad.
Well, turkeys funny that way.
Dad!
It's done!
You like osso buco, Charlie?
They're closed. You know,
Neal is a real good cook.
Yeah, and you should see him walk on water.
You don't like him very much, do you, Dad?
Charlie, yeah. I was joking, okay?
I'm sorry. I was just kiddin' around.
I like him a lot... Yeah, sure,
I like him. You know, there...
There's just something about him that
makes me wanna... Lash out irrationally.
Where did you hear that?
From Neal. I learn a lot
from him. He listens to me.
Yeah. Then he charges you for it.
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ I'm dreaming,
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
♫ Of a white Christmas
Dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
All right, Denny's. It's always open.
I don't wanna eat here.
What're you talkin' about? Everybody likes
Denny's. It's an American institution.
[Crowd Conversing in Japanese]
Are you with Hatsutashi?
No.
Dad burned the turkey.
Oh, yeah. This way. Come on.
Right over there.
Thank you.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Here we go.
Burn the turkey?
Coffee?
No, thank you... Judy.
What do you say we start
out with cold glasses...
of delicious seasonal favorite eggnog?
I don't like eggnog.
We're out.
Coffee. Decaf.
Mm-hmm.
I'll have chocolate milk, please.
We're out.
Plain milk's fine.
Okay.
At least we know they got hot apple pie.
We did.
Mm-hmm.
This is nice.
♫ Ba do de do
dup-dup, dup du-dup ♫
"And Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap..."
"Had just settled down
for a long winter's nap."
"When out on the lawn
there arose such a clatter..."
"I sprang from my bed to
see what was the matter."
"Away to the window I flew like a flash"
"With a miniature sleigh and St. Nick...
And Prancer and Dancer"
"...and to all a good night."
What is' that?
What's what?
"A Rose Suchak ladder”?"
It's not a ladder.
I said, "Arose such a clatter."
It means, "Came a big noise."
What?
Charlie, "arose" is a word
that means "it came,”
and "clatter” is a big noise."
Now please, go to sleep. Shut your eyes.
How do reindeer fly?
They don't have any wings.
Fairy dust.
That's from Peter Pan, Dad.
Horns.
Antlers.
Whatever. Their, uh, antlers give them...
You know, there's a slipstream effect. The air
goes... They move fast... They're weightless.
But if Santa's so fat, how did he get down
the chimneys? He sucks it in like Grandpa.
What about people who don't have fireplaces?
How does he get into their house?
Charlie, sometimes believing
in something means you...
means you just believe in it.
Santa uses reindeer to fly because
that's how he has to get around.
But you do believe in Santa, right, Dad?
Of course I believe in Santa.
Now please go to sleep.
Dad?
What is it, Charlie?
Maybe you better leave some cookies
and milk out... just in case, okay?
Great. I'll just go preheat the oven.
And don't forget the fire extinguisher.
Good night, Charlie.
Ho!
Settle down there.
Dad! Dad!
Wh-What? Hmm.
I heard a clatter!
What, Charlie?
There! A clatter.
Charlie, what're you talking about?
You know, it "came a big noise?"
It's coming from outside!
Charlie, it's just the wind or something.
Come on, let's go back to bed.
Somebody's on the roof. Maybe it's Santa.
Not now, Charlie. I want you to sit here,
and I want you to stay right there.
Charlie, do you know how to call 911?
Sure. 911.
Yeah, great. Stay there.
Hey, you!
Oops! Wow! Wow-oh! Oof!
Whoa, whoa!
Wh-Wh-Whoa!
Whoo-hoo!
Hey, buddy.
All right. You should
just... stay still. Perfect.
You got him!
Charlie, stay where you are. Charlie,
would you listen to me? Stay up there!
It is Santa! You killed him.
Did not! It is not Santa.
Well, he was.
He's got some ID on him, I bet.
Fella, if you can hear me.
I'm just looking for your identification.
Once I figure out who you are,
I'll give you a lift back to the mall.
"If something should
happen to me, put on my suit."
"The reindeer will know what to do."
Yeah, right.
Whoa.
Dad!
Hey.
He disappeared!
Whoa!
He's naked somewhere.
You gonna put on the suit like
the card said? Are you? No. No.
Come on, Dad. I wanna go too.
Stop it, Charlie. We're not goin' anywhere.
You never do what I wanna do!
Would you please be quiet for a minute...
so I can figure this out?
Reindeer up on the roof.
Santa suit laying on the ground.
Guy fell. Not my fault.
Reindeer on the roof. That is
hard to explain. It's the ladder.
Ooh!
Where the Hell'd this come from?
Look here, Dad. "The Rose
Suchak Ladder Company."
Huh? "Out by the roof
there's a Rose Suchak ladder."
Just like the poem.
Just like the poem?
Charlie, come on down from there.
Charlie, get down from there!
Dad! You gotta see this!
Don't touch anything!
It's great!
I'm just gonna call the police. I'll carry this
stuff up there. MLet them deal with it, okay?
Whoa! This guy was huge.
Dad, isn't this neat?
Charlie. Charlie!
Stay away from those things.
They're reindeer.
You don't know where they've been.
They all look like they've got
key lime disease.
Oof! Easy, Rudolph.
Excuse me... Comet.
Dad! Check out Santa's sleigh!
There's no such thing as Santa's sleigh.
Sure there is. You said
you believed in Santa...
Right? I did? I do!
What about the reindeer?
These are Santa's reindeer, aren't they?
I hope not.
These are, uh...
Ah, a gift.
Probably from the cable company.
We're getting the Disney Channel now.
Merry Christmas.
Now, hop out of there, please.
I don't wanna go.
Listen, Charlie, I'm not kidding. Let's go!
Oh-whoa-whoa!
Yeah, let's go! Whoa!
Aaah!
Charlie!
Hold on, Charlie!
Whoa!
Giddyap, Comet!
Whoa, let's go!
Dad, climb up here.
There we go.
So, ah, if we go straight
on this road and we hit I-94...
Huh-aah!
Uh, Oh!
Well, we made good time. Now what do we do?
Get the bag of toys! And do what?
Go down the chimney. Down the chimney!
You want me to take the
toys down the chimney...
into a strange house in my underwear?
No. You gotta put the suit on first.
You know what we're gonna
do, is we're gonna get outta here...
because this whole thing is stupid.
How come everything I want to do is stupid?
I didn't say that.
Gaah!
Freezing my nubs off out here, and
you want me to get into a Santa costume.
This is great. A Santa costume.
Oh, this thing. You never
know where it's been. Ooh!
A thousand malls.
Well, I hope you're happy, Comet.
Hope you're happy. But most of all...
I hope the guy that lives here is a tailor!
Nice coat.
Well, how do I look?
Nice?
You forgot the sash.
You're right.
This completes the ensemble.
All right. Got my boots.
Now I've got the suit on. How am
I supposed to know what to leave?
Maybe there's a list. A list. How
silly of me. Of course there's a list.
Careful, Dad!
Aah! I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay!
Look! You're flying!
It's okay, I'm used to it.
I lived through the '60s.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Aaah! Uuh! Oh!
Uuh-uuh!
Nice teeth.
Who's down there?
It's the holidays. Come on, come on.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Hey, Charles!
Need a little help down here!
Puh-uh!
Whoa! How'd you do that?
What'd it feel like, Dad?
It felt like Americas Most Wanted!
Now pull me in, quick!
We gotta get outta here.
Thanks. We gotta go home.
How do you start this thing?
Just like that!
[House Alarm Continues]
Whoa! This could be a really long night.
Do it again, Dad.
Please?
I can't. That thing's empty.
There's nothing in the bag.
Even if there was, didn't you
notice there's no chimney?
Where there's no chimney,
there's no fireplace.
Are you growling at me?
Look, Comet, like I
said, there is nothing left-
That's so weird, because I know when
I Did that No, no, no, no, no!
Hold it! There's no chimney here!
Can you hear me? No chimney, all right?
Lookin' good, Dad!
You have got to be kidding!
Come on! Look at the size of this thing!
Weird! Ow!
Ow! Oh!
Ow!
Santa?
Scott Calvin.
How come your clothes are so baggy?
Because Santa is
watching his saturated fats.
How come you don't have
a beard? Because I shaved!
Do you want this doll
or not? Go back to sleep.
You're supposed to drink the milk.
Look, I am lactose intolerant.
And I am just about this close to taking
all those presents back up the chimney.
Supposed to drink the milk!
Shut your eyes!
Yo!
How do you get in without a fireplace?
I don't know.
One just kind of appeared.
Awesome!
Oh, boy!
Charlie, look at the clouds
over here. Aren't they pretty...
Yah!
All right. Mornin', fellas.
Mornin', sport. We're
done, Comet. Ho-ho-ho.
Back to the house.
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.
When I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan!
Is this okay, Dad?
No, it's not okay!
Hey, does this look like home to you guys?
No, no!
No, no, no, no!
Hey, hey! Where you
goin'? Come back here. Aww!
♫ In the silence of the night, ♫
♫ When the snow lies soft and still ♫
Hey, hey! Hey, buddy!
You sir. Hey!
♫ You can see a magic light, ♫
♫ And hear the ring of Christmas bells ♫
Can you 'near me?
♫ Though the night seems long and dark ♫
♫ It is the earth ♫
What's that? I don't know.
♫ Just gone to sleep ♫
The stars, that dot...
I think it's the North Pole.
That's the North Pole?
♫ The sky above, ♫
Hey, buddy, we need some help.
♫ Hold you in, ♫
Hello! What are you doing?
♫ Their precious keep, ♫
♫ So close your eyes
and come with me ♫
♫ The Christmas bells
will bring you home ♫
Hey, look! Here comes the new Santa!
♫ And now with song we fill the night ♫
♫ While magic dances in the light ♫
♫ To wish you now and all the year ♫
♫ The joy that comes with Christmas cheer ♫
♫ Sit back.
Hear our voices fill the air ♫
♫ To drive
the winter's cold away ♫
♫ And so our hearts
with all will share ♫
♫ The love that comes
with Christmas day ♫
♫ The love that comes
with Christmas day ♫
♫ The Christmas bells
will bring you home ♫
Where are all the grownups?
This is so cool!
Stay here.
Hey, kid, kid. Kid, who's in charge here?
You are. And I'm not a kid.
I've pointy shoes that are
older than you. I'm an elf!
Uh, you guys, or you girls...
Who gives the orders? Who's your boss?
You are.
No, no, no.
Who's the head elf?
You are!
Hey!
Who's causin' all the trouble around here?
He is.
She is.
Excuse me, are we on a coffee break?
We don't drink coffee.
Then I guess the breaks over.
Back to work.
Thanks.
Take it easy on her, will ya?
Who are you?
I'm Bernard.
Nice to meet ya, Santa.
I'm not Santa! I've had a rough night.
There's been clogs barking, guns goin' off.
Look, my back's killing me. Have you ever
tried to shove a sea kayak down a chimney?
I'm tired of this small talk.
Hmm.
The other Santa disappeared, right?
Wait a minute. Hey!
I know where this is goin'.
It wasn't my fault. The other
guy fell. It was an accident.
I've got homeowners insurance
and a good attorney.
Not as good as my wife's, but
let's not open up that wound.
Hold it a minute. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
How did you know the other guy was gone?
Can I get you a drink?
No, I don't want a drink.
I'm thirsty... and hungry too.
Charlie, I thought I told you to
stay in the sleigh. Who's this?
This... this is my son, Charlie.
I'm sorry. Charlie,
this is Buh, Beh, Beh...
Bernard.
Bernard.
Hi, Bernard.
Hiya, sport.
Hey, Dad, he called me
"sport" just like you. Wonderful.
Hey, you know what?
I got somethin' for you.
Okay, now hold out your hand, all right?
Uuh!
Now, be very careful.
This is very old, just like me.
Shake it up, Charlie.
Wow.
Why don't you, uh, hold onto it for me
for a while. It might come in handy.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
I promise I'll take real good care of it.
Make sure you do.
I will.
Hey, Dad, look!
Huh. Fabulous ball. Hey, Barabbas.
Bernard! Bernard!
Can we takea direct flight back to reality.
Or do we have to change planes in Denver?
Uh, Larry...
Take Charlie here and get him some chow.
No, Larry, don't do that. Charlie!
He'll be okay. Follow me,
you'll want to get out of those clothes.
I, Uh... No, look Barnaby.
I just want to go home.
Look, I am not Santa Claus!
Ahh!
Did you or did you not read the card?
Yeah, I read the card.
Then you are the new Santa.
In putting on the hat and jacket, you
accepted the contract. What contract?
The card in the Santa suit.
You said you read it, right?
So when you put on the suit. You
fell subject to the Santa Clause.
Here. The Santa Claus? Oh, you
mean the guy that fell off my roof?
No, no, no. Not Santa Claus the person,
Santa Clause the clause.
What?
Look, you're a businessman,
right? Okay. Yeah.
A clause, as in the
last line of a contract.
You got the card?
Oh!
Okay, look.
The Santa Clause: "In putting on
this suit and entering the sleigh..."
"The wearer waives any and all rights to any
previous identity, real or implied, Huh?"
"And fully accepts the
duties and responsibilities..."
"Of Santa Claus in perpetuity until such
time that wearer becomes unable to do so..."
"By either accident or design."
What does that mean?
It means you put on the
suit, you're the big guy.
That's ridiculous. I didn't put on a
suit just to... Try to understand this!
Oo-oo-ooh!
Let me explain something to you, okay?
Toys have to be delivered. I'm not gonna
do it. It's not my job. I'm just an elf.
It's Santa's job, but Santa
fell off a roof; Your roof.
You read the card, you put on the suit.
That clearly falls under the Santa Clause.
Now you're Santa, okay?
A question.
What?
When can I get outta here?
Dad, you gotta see this place!
You leave tomorrow morning. You have
11 months to get your affairs in order...
and you're due back here Thanksgiving.
I'm not coming back here on Thanksgiving.
I'll ship the list to your house.
What list?
Come on, now. The list.
♫ He's making a list
Checkin' it twice ♫
♫ Gonna find out who's naughty or nice ♫
Ugh! Look, you put a "P" next to the kids who
are nice and a "C" next to the naughty ones.
Yeah! "P" for present,
"C" for coal, right, Bernard?
Right! Huh! Wait a minute! How
do I know who's good and bad?
You'll know.
What if I don't wanna do this?
Don't even kid about a thing like that!
Why not?
What if I don't buy into this Santa Claus
thing? What if I choose not to believe it?
Then there would be millions of
disappointed children around the world.
You see, children hold the spirit
of Christmas within their hearts.
You wouldn't want to be responsible
for killing the spirit of Christmas.
Now, would you... Santa?
Judy will take you to your room. Get out
of the suit, it needs to be cleaned.
And taken in. Then get some sleep.
We've got a lot of work to do
and only a year in which to do it.
Judy.
Santa.
Scott Calvin.
Follow me.
I'll just take the next train.
Dad, come on!
Charlie!
Come on, Dad!
Charlie, wait up!
That's funny. I like that.
I like that too. But I don't like...
Wow,
Oh! Aah!
Can I get you anything?
The kitchen's always open.
How about a stiff drink?
You should get some sleep.
Here are your pajamas. I'll be right back.
Look, Judy. Look over there.
Look over there. I know.
Look over there. There's a canoe.
Aha, yeah, it's true.
Oh, look, there's an emu!
Look at him!
Shoo!
Santa?
Scott Calvin.
I brought you some cocoa.
No, thanks.
My own recipe.
Took me 1,200 years to get it right.
1,200 years?
That's right.
You know, I must say,
you look pretty good for your age.
Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping.
Okay.
Mm.
Hmm. This is good.
Huh! This is really good.
Not too hot, extra
chocolate, shaken, not stirred.
You look distressed.
Distressed? I'm way past distressed.
Why's that?
I'm talking to an elf.
And I stopped believing in
Santa Claus a long time ago.
That's not surprising. Most
grownups can't believe in magic.
It just... sort of
It grows out of them.
Look, you're a nice little elf.
Thanks.
But this is a dream
I mean, this is fabulous. Is that a
polar bear directing traffic down there?
I see it... but I don't believe it.
You're missing the point.
What is the point?
Seeing isn't believing;
Believing is seeing.
Kids don't have to see this place
to know that it's here.
"They just... KNOW."
Well, you should get
some rest, Good night, sir.
Dad!
Dad!
Wake up, Sleepy!
Come on, get up!
Come on, Dad, come on.
See all the neat toys!
Stop shakin' me, Charlie.
Come on, get up, get up!
Okay.
Come on, it's Christmas morning.
Great! Go make some coffee.
Come on, Dad, let's go!
Okay.
Mmm.
Huh!
Hoo! Heh.
Are you okay, Dad?
Yeah. Just fine, just fine.
Are you having a heart attack?
I know CPR.
No, I was just...
S.C. Yeah, Santa Claus.
Hey. Same initials as your name, Dad.
Scott Calvin.
What?
Oh, Charlie!
Oh, merry Christmas, honey.
Did you have a good time?
Great time! The best!
Great-Ho-ho!
Scott, nice Pee Jays. Very festive.
Where'd you get them?
I don't know.
Judy gave them to you.
Judy, remember?
Who?
Up at the North Pole.
Ah, one of Santa's little helpers.
Last night, Dad and me
went with the flying reindeer.
It was really neat, Mom. Dad was Santa,
and Larry showed me the workshop.
You know, where they make all the toys?
Gee, thanks for...
keeping his feet on the ground.
You bet.
Honey, you go wait in the car
for a minute. I'll be right there.
Merry Christmas.
Bye, Dad. Thanks for a
great night at the North Pole.
So, uh...
What've you been telling him?
Nothing.
It's just... I had this
really strange dream...
and I must've told him all about it.
Wait.
Charlie.
Scott. Nice jammies.
Hi, Dad.
Thanks. About what you said in the house...
Who showed you the workshop?
The elf.
How'd I get the pajamas?
I told you.Judy.
Oh, wait, wait.
Judy was the name of the waitress
at the restaurant last night.
Some waitress gave you pajamas?
What's this all about?
Dad took me to the North Pole,
and Larry showed me the workshop.
The North Pole!
Yeah. Dad's the new Santa.
The regular Santa fell off the
roof and Dad put on the suit.
Charlie, we'll, discuss this at home.
The clause. The Santa Clause.
It's just a dream.
Stuff like that doesn't happen.
It was a dream.
Come on!
I don't even wear pajamas.
Normally I sleep naked. Buck naked!
Hah! Morning, Mrs. McGloin, Mary,
Catherine. Eyes front, Mary Catherine!
Sometimes boxer shorts. You know. Heh-heh!
So, remember, kids...
there is nothing more painful
than third degree burns.
Well, thank you, Fireman O'Hara.
And I think the whole
class will join me in saying...
sorry about your partner.
Well, perhaps this is a good
tim to bring up the psychiatrist.
Charlie, would you
like to introduce your, uh
Dr. Miller!
Can I ask Dad to go first?
Well... if that's how you feel, Charlie.
That's how he feels, Neal. Come on.
Nice sweater, buddy.
This is my dad, Scott Calvin.
He's got a really neat job.
Thank you, Charlie.
My dad is Santa Claus.
Oh, boy. Ha ha!
I think what he means is,
I'm like Santa Claus.
We're both giving, we're both jolly...
and we both work very hard one day a year.
Hoe-boy!
That's not what I mean, Dad.
Look, on Christmas Eve, my
clad pushed Santa off the roof.
No, Charlie-Ch-Ch-Charlie! Santa
disappeared and my clad took his place.
Then I went with him to
deliver all the presents.
Then the reindeer flew us to the
North Pole where the head elf...
Bernard, gave me this.
Charlie...
Look, I work for a toy company.
I deliver toys all over the country.
So, in a way, I'm like Santa Claus.
Yes, sweetheart?
Do you make the toys?
No, stupid, the elves do!
Bobby, we don't say "stupid, "and we
don't say "elves." They're "little people."
No, but they really are elves.
Whatever, honey. Which
one's your favorite reindeer?
Comet.
Uh, I-I-I don't have a favorite. Huh!
So, lemme get this straight, Santa.
You mean, when I grow up
if I wanna be Santa Claus...
All I gotta do is push you off a roof?
He said that it was the best
Christmas he ever had? Oh, big surprise!
It's just nice to hear it from him.
Is that a problem with you?
All right. So?
May I speak, please? I am a doctor.
No, he's not. He's a psychiatrist.
Please. Go ahead, Dr. Miller.
I guess we know who's the teacher's pet.
Scott! Oh, grow up.
The reason we're here is
that this is far more serious...
than a boy believing or
not believing in Santa Claus.
That's right, because Charlie thinks
that this whole thing actually happened.
Scott, what was the last thing
you and Charlie did...
before you went to bed Christmas Eve?
We shared a bowl of sugar;
Did some shots of brown liquor;
Played with my shotguns,
field dressed a cat.
Looked for women.
I read him a book!
What book? Uh, Hollywood Wives.
The Night Before Christmas, folks. Come on!
And did you go to the North Pole?
This is ridiculous. I don't
have time for this. Ridiculous...
or not, Scott. For Charlie,
this isn't some dream; It is real.
You need to sit down with Charlie.
Explain to him you are not Santa Claus.
They're like the bears
at the North Pole, Dad.
Charlie, I already told you,
we did not go to the North Pole.
That was a dream.
You're in denial, Dad.
Denial! You don't even
know what that means.
Well, you are. I know what happened.
How do you know that?
How? You don't have any proof.
Proof? Why can't we both...
think of it as just a great
dream and forget about it?
What about this? Remember
all the neat stuff inside?
Charlie... this is a toy.
We used to make things like this
at work, but no one bought 'em.
Here. I don't want to
talk about this anymore.
I know who you are, Dad.
You will figure it out soon enough.
There are a lot of kids that believe
in you. You can't let them down.
Charlie, you're wrong.
What's so funny?
Nothing.
♫ He sees you when you're sleeping ♫
♫ He knows when you're awake ♫
♫ He knows if you've been bad or good ♫
♫ Rollin' Keep those reindeer rollin'... ♫
Okay.
♫ You better watch out
You better not cry ♫
♫ You better not pout, I'm tellin you
why, ♫ Come on Dancer, come on Prancer.
♫ Santa Claus is coming to town, ♫
Whoa! We can't stop.
But I have to go to the bathroom.
I told you, should've gone
before we left the North Pole.
♫ ...and rummy tum-tums ♫
Whoa! Right here. Turn over here.
♫ Curly-haired dolls
that toddle and coo ♫
♫ Elephant spokes
and kiddie cars my ♫
Where is he?
Well, he could be in his room jumping up and
down on his bed, wearing a red hat and galoshes.
I don't care what Neal's doing. Where's
Charlie? Oh, ho-ho! Oh, I see, I see.
Well, if you can't be father of the year.
Why not be Father Christmas, huh?
Charlie, it's just not logical.
How can one man... in one night...
visit all the children of the world?
Not everyone celebrates Christmas.
And I think there's some
sort of time continuum...
that breaks down once
Santa's in his sleigh.
What about fireplaces? A
lot of people don't have them.
How does Santa visit those people?
He turns into jell-O and...
The fireplace kind of appears
and he goes through it like this.
What about... the reindeer!
Have you ever seen a reindeer fly?
Yes.
Well, I haven't.
Have you ever seen a million dollars?
No.
Just because you haven't seen
it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Hi, Neal.
Howdy, sport.
Hi, Dad. You wanna take a walk?
I wanna talk to you.
Sure. I'll get my coat.
Okay, hustle up.
Scott? Can I have a minute?
Sure.
I think Charlie is
conflicted at the moment.
Wow. Really?
Boy. Hmm.
'Preciate your analysis, I really do.
Huh! Boy, you got more important things
to worry about, you know.
Like, where are you gonna get more sweaters
after the circus pulls out of town?
Scott! I mean, you're not listening.
We are very concerned about this.
Concerned about what?
This... If Charlie spending time
with you is the best thing for him.
You were right about the sweater, okay?
Do you think by next year I'll be big
enough to drive the sleigh all by myself?
No!
But I've been practicing.
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Charlie, hold on a second. We've got
to talk about this Santa Claus thing.
Charlie, There, there is no...
No what, Dad?
There's no reason why we have to
tell anybody about the North Pole.
Why not?
Well, sometimes some things, big things...
should remain unsaid,
like between two people...
Oh, you mean like a secret.
Yes. Like a secret. Let's keep it secret.
How come?
Because of Mom and Neal.
Not just because of them. There's school.
Everybody thinks.
No, it's not important what they think.
It...
How does five bucks sound to ya?
This is something I really want you
to do for me, sport.
I want to keep this secret.
Will ya do that, please?
Okay, Dad.
All right.
Great.
You don't have to worry about
the Santa Claus thing anymore.
So when do I get the five bucks?
...in the morning.
It's gonna be a beautiful day.
Spend the day with me, Larry B.
Oof!
Aah!
Huh?
Somethings wrong with the mirror.
What?
Somethings wrong with the scale!
Aaah!
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hmm, I'll have a field
green salad and-Oh, my God.
What the, What? Scott?
Calvin?
Sorry, uh, the dry cleaner...
In my neighborhood went up in smoke,
some big chemical fire.
All my clothes, poof, gone.
God, Your... Your weight.
What happened?
Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic.
Almost killed me. But the guy
at the emergency room says...
the swelling will go down.
I hope.
So... did I miss anything?
No, we were, uh, just about to order lunch.
Great! I'm starving.
I'll have a salad and ice
tea and dressing on the side.
Ah, pasta and tomatoes, uh, and very
light on the oil. Can you do that?
And I'll have a Caesar. No dressing.
And one of those homemade cookies,
the warm chocolate chip. No nuts.
And a little slice of cheesecake.
Uh, creme brulee...
and, um, hot fudge sundae, extra hot fudge.
On the side.
Anything to drink?
Ice-cold milk.
Stung by a bee, Scott?
A big bee.
Finished?
Okay, now, remember.
This is just a storyboard.
But here is our...
preliminary Total Tank TV spot.
Okay, now, we've got Santa.
He's up in the North Pole.
He's gettin' ready for... Christmas!
Oh, no.
Problem?
It's just a little thing. The elves.
What about the elves?
They look so funny.
They're supposed to look funny.
They're elves.
Just my opinion, Can't they look a little
younger with silver specks on their cheeks?
Can we continue here?
Okay, now this year Santa's Not
going out in a sleigh.
This time he's goin' Total Tank!
Wait a minute! No way! No way Santa's
goin' anywhere without his sleigh.
He would if he's tryin'
to sell the Total Tank.
Well, isn't that a pretty picture?
Santa rolling down the block in a panzer.
Well, kids, I certainly hope
you've been good this year.
'Cause it looks like Santa just
took out the Pearson home.
Incoming!
Oh, please.
And another thing. What about the reindeer?
Reindeer and Santa. Santa and reindeer.
It's kind of a package deal.
Calvin. You don't believe in Santa, do you?
Calvin, can we get back to the
presentation? I'm not done yet.
Since we've opened this box, have any
of you tried to build the Total Tank?
It's got 10,000 parts, and
even if you do get it together...
it breaks ten minutes later.
Then you got to spend more
money to buy more parts.
I thought that was the whole point.
No, no, no, no.
What we got to do is develop a basic,
simple, inexpensive toy...
that will nurture a
child's creative thinking.
Calvin!
Here, try the brown ones.
Can I see you outside a minute?
I don't know what's happening to you.
You're starting to look
like the Pillsbury dough boy.
You're falling apart. I know! I know.
I don't know what came over me.
Just get some help.
You should see a doctor, a shrink.
A dietitian, anything. Just get some help.
Okay, Scott. The time is up.
Ooh!
Get over here and check your pulse.
All right.
Okay, hmm?
Ah.
Huh!
Well, nuts. I...
Oh, no, uh, your pulse is great.
I don't know, Scott.
You're as healthy as a horse.
Yeah. Clydesdale.
Okay, look. So, what?
You put on a little weight.
A little weight?
Does this look like a little weight to you?
Weight can fluctuate from year to year.
Fluctuate? You make it sound like
I'm retaining water.
I've gained 45 pounds in a week!
Pete, what's happening to me?
What's your diet like?
Milk and cookies.
Really?
But I don't finish all the milk.
Well, then, there is your problem.
Just try to cut back on the sweets.
Anything else?
Yeah. How fast does hair grow? Facial hair?
What?
I shave in the morning
and in the afternoon I look like this.
Well, it could be a hormonal imbalance.
That would explain the mood swings.
Mood swings?
Look at my hair.
It's turning gray.
It's middle age, buddy. It happens.
And with that body, you
should be thankful you have hair.
Look, if it bothers you, you can dye it.
And you should diet!
Ah, just kiddin'.
Okay, up with the shirt.
Let's take a listen to the old ticker.
Okay.
Ooh! That's cold.
Ah.
Get it!
What?
I want some ballet slippers.
Hi Mom!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Hold on now. Wait a minute.
Wait, I'm not done.
Fax me. Hi, hey. This
probablylooks pretty odd, doesn't it?
These kids lined up all by themselves.
Scott, I think it's safe to say...
you're taking this Santa
thing to an unhealthy level.
Here's my card. Call me.
Scott, I-I really have to tell you
that this is beginning to scare me.
I never in my wildest...
Well, no, okay, maybe my wildest...
But certainly never in my normal dreams.
But then this is Scott we're talking about.
Laura, the point.
I never thought you would stoop
to changing your physical appearance...
in order to make Charlie like you.
Do you have any concept of how
dangerous this is to a little boy?
Whoa, whoa. "How dangerous"?
Mom, what's the matter?
Come on, Charlie. We're going home.
But we just started.
You let him stay. I'll go.
If you don't get your act together,
Scott, so help me... Watch it folks.
Mom!
I will just, Oh!
Hi there.
Hi. I got a delivery for S.C.
You S.C.?
Scott Calvin, that's me.
Sign here, please.
All right.
Thanks. I'll get your packages.
Packages?
Yeah. There's quite a few of them.
That's great.
I'll leave the door open. Just
leave them inside here. Will do.
It's the list!
"Armand Assante"?
Yo!
Hold it! Hold-Oh! Hold it!
You! You! Take that-
Come on! Come on!
Stay away from the truck.
What am I supposed to do with all
these packages, guys? Come on! Aah!
You know, I knew it. I knew that
something was going on. I just...
What I can't believe is that he would
go behind our backs all this time...
confusing Charlie again just...
I, I What are...
What are we supposed to do?
Well, there's one obvious alternative.
Okay.
Ah.
Annie, nice.
Beep!
Johnny, naughty "Johnny, wait up!"
Gary, nice.
Veronica, very nice.
In your dreams, sleigh boy.
Huh?
I'm in big trouble.
Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Judge Wayland! Office.
Charlie, do you mind if I
talk to you for a minute?
It's okay, honey.
Come on.
We won't be long.
Are we doing the right thing, Neal?
Something needs to shake Scott.
Yeah, but...
But to take away his visitation rights.
Honey, the man is delusional.
Okay, okay.
So maybe I'm having second
thoughts, kind of. I just...
I mean, what was so bad
about Charlie believing in Santa?
Well, he's a little old.
Oh, come on, Laura. Don't you remember
when you stopped believing in Santa Claus?
I was Charlie's age, I guess.
I wrote Santa a letter
every week that year.
Well, okay. You know,
maybe. Maybe not every week.
But...
Boy, I really wanted a "Mystery Date Game."
Do you remember those?
No. Of course you don't.
You know, no one does.
I don't even think they
make them anymore, but...
Well, anyway...
Christmas morning came and...
Oh, I got dozens of presents.
I got everything.
Except "Mystery Date."
I was three, and it was an
Oscar Mayer wienie whistle.
Christmas came. No wienie whistle.
And that's when I stopped believing.
You were three?
Yeah.
Oh, Neal.
Where's Charlie?
I want to talk to him.
He's with the judge.
Dad!
It's all okay. I told
the judge everything...
about you and the North Pole.
After reviewing all of your testimonies,
I've come to a very difficult decision.
I'm sorry to do this in light
of the holiday season.
But in the best interest of the child...
I'm granting the petition
of Dr. and Mrs. Miller.
pending a hearing
after the first of the year.
Hey, Neal.
Scott?
You're not supposed to be here.
Don't make me beat you up, Neal.
Oh, would Santa really beat someone up?
I'm this close.
So you still believe you're Santa?
I don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
Of course you are, Dad.
How can you say that?
Think of all those kids.
The only kid I'm thinkin' about is you.
Dad, I'm fine.
You can't let them down.
Then I believe in you.
Charlie, listen.
You listen! You think you know
who he is. You don't! Charlie.
Honey, listen. You're confused.
I know exactly who he is.
Charlie! He's not Santa.
He is too Santa. We went
to the North Pole together.
I saw it. The elves are real old
even though they look like me.
Bernard called me sport, 'cause he
knew everything. Right, Dad?
Remember!
Thank you, Charlie.
Thank you.
I love you, Dad.
Could you guys leave us alone for a minute?
I mean, so I can say
good-bye to him properly?
Sure!
So, you saw the ball come to life?
You bet I did. Well, Charlie,
I guess I better go.
I'll get my stuff.
Wait, sport. Wait, wait.
I think it's a much better idea
if you stayed here with your mom.
I want to be with you, Dad.
Boy, I love hearing you say that.
You mean I can go?
Boy, this bird is dry.
Haven't you people heard about basting?
Bernard!
Hi ya, sport.
Bernard, can I go? Please, can
I go, Bernard? It's okay with me.
Charlie, if I uh...
Charlie?
Scott!
Charlie!
This... is our perpetrator!
Scott Calvin, 38 years old.
Believes himself to be Santa Claus.
Ladies and gentlemen, this one
is not going to be easy to find.
Won't the bright red suit
and beard give him away?
Charlie's got some great
ideas on how to keep you safe.
Santa, this is Quintin, head
of research and development.
Quintin, good to meet ya.
Hello, Santa.
Charlie and I have put our heads together.
I think we've got a few surprises for you.
This is some of the best stuff that's
come out of the workshop since the ball.
Fabulous. What happens
if I fall off the roof?
Is this the most current photo you have?
Hold on.
Hello?
Mom!
Oh, Charlie. Oh, my God.
Honey, how are you?
W-Where are you?
Are you okay?
I'm fine. We're up at the North Pole.
Charlie, are you sure you're okay?
I'm terrific.
I'm helping the elves build a new sleigh.
We're trying for a vertical
takeoff. Well, gotta go.
The elves need me.
No. Charlie, wait.
No. Don't hang up. Charlie, don't
See you at Christmas.
Fireplaces will no longer be a problem.
It's a new fabric.
Completely flame retardant.
It's light, yet durable.
And you can wear the jumpsuit
under your coat and pants.
But what do I do if I fall off a roof?
We'll cordon off a three-block radius
around Dr. Miller's house.
Calvin is to be apprehended unharmed.
And remember, he'll probably
be dressed like Santa Claus.
♫ Give it your best shot ♫
♫ What you got is
oh, so sweet ♫
Freeze!
What?
♫ I need a routine
Gimme all your lovin' ♫
Not even my suit.
It's a rental.
♫ Gimme all your lovin'
Don't let up until we 're through ♫
"From Comet, To Santa."
Did you make the card?
It's a nice rope. Just in
case I fall off the roof?
Comet, Thanks, buddy.
♫ If! Blow my top ♫
♫ Will you let it
go to your head ♫
♫ Gimme all your lovin ♫
All right, let's go!
You ready to go, sport?
You betcha, Dad.
Now Dasher, now Dancer!
Now Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet, on Cupid! On Donner and Blitzen!
Hah!
"Hah!"
Bye! Bye, Quintin!
Bye, Peewee!
Merry Christmas!
Hyah! Ooh!
Take your time.
Turn to your right. Hello!
No.
Charlie, stay in your seat.
I gotta show you this.
Radar-jamming jingle bells...
snow screen
DC-10 alert and air freshener.
Wow!
And most important of all...
your hat, My hat?
It's lined with a two-way radio.
Microphone's in here.
It connects you directly to Judy.
Wait a minute. What's this?
Oh, that's a C.D.
Compact disc.
No. Cookie/Cocoa Dispenser.
The cocoa comes out nice and hot.
And... out pops a cookie.
How could I have done
this without ya, Charlie?
You couldn't.
Shh.
You're fatter this year.
Thank you very much.
You've grown too.
And you were a very good girl this year,
but I want you to go back to sleep, okay?
I think the milk's a little sour.
It's soy milk.
Huh?
You said you were lactose intolerant.
I did say that, didn't I?
Thanks for remembering.
Go to sleep.
Merry Christmas, Sara.
Merry Christmas, Santa.
Look, there's Mom and Neal's street.
Can we go there next?
Sure.
I made something for them at the workshop.
Freeze!
Ah, ho, ho! You officers
really gave me a start.
Merry Christmas, guys.
Not for you, fat boy.
"Fat boy"? Guys. Ah, ah, ah!
Nice and easy now.
Oh!
Guys, guys. I got a lot of work to do.
This is a big mistake.
You got to watch the suit too. This is
so old. It's an antique, you know.
Where's the boy? He's in the sleigh.
We got Calvin. We're bringing him out.
Santa, are you okay?
Over, over.
Watch your head.
Santa? Are you all right?
Santa?
It'll be okay, kids.
Let him go! Let Santa go!
Honey, I'm sure Charlie's fine.
We've got a problem. Santa was at
the Millers, but he's not responding.
Well, time to deploy E.L.F.S.
Let's go!
Go, go, go, go!
Look, I know you're Scott Calvin.
You know you're Scott Calvin.
So let's make this simple.
I say, name. You say, Scott Calvin.
Name?
Kriss Kringle.
Name?
Sinter Klas.
Name?
Pere Noel.
Buono Natale.
Pelz-Nicole.
Topo Gigio.
Okay, Calvin. Maybe a couple of hours
in the tank will change your mind.
Charlie?
Yeah?
Don't worry. We're the good guys.
Come on. Let's go save Santa.
We can't. The police
are watching this place.
Yeah, they probably are. But you see, we
weren't figuring on walking out the front door.
We find that we can get around
a lot faster if we fly.
Now... grab hold of my hand.
And hang on tight.
And Charlie?
Yeah?
Don't ever try this
without elf super vision.
Hmm, Hah!
Ahhh!
We're looking for Santa Claus.
Go home, kids. Visiting hours are over.
We're not kids, and we're not visiting.
We're here to bust out my
dad. You're the Calvin boy.
Who are these other kids?
We're your worst nightmare.
Elves with attitude.
Oh!
Shouldn't have had that doughnut. Oh!
Untie me! I mean it!
Untie...
Charlie!
Are you okay, Dad?
I am now.
How'd you do that?
Tinsel. Not just for decoration.
Hmph.
Hey, excuse me.
Can I get some of that tinsel?
Mom?
Mom!
Neal? I'm home!
Charlie?
Charlie? Oh, my God, Charlie! Charlie.
Sweetheart. Oh, God.
Come here, come here.
Oh, my boy. Oh, sweetheart. Oh!
My boy, you're home!
Oh, I missed you so much.
How are you?
I'm fine, Mom.
Are you okay? Look at me.
Oh, Charlie, I missed you, honey,
Mom, I'm fine. It's okay.
I was so worried.
Mom, put me down.
Stop kissing me.
I don't have a lot of time.
Did you leave the gifts
I made under the tree?
You bet I did.
We better go.
No, Charlie. No, no, no.
No! Wait, Charlie.
It's okay, Laura.
Actually, I... I think it's
a much better idea...
that you stay here with your mom and Neal.
Really?
But, Dad...
No buts, Charlie.
I can't be selfish.
I can't be with ya all the time.
We're a family.
You, me, your mom...
and Neal.
And they need to be with ya too.
I miss you too much.
Come here a minute.
Ah, listen to me.
Come on, listen. There's
a lot of kids out there.
Okay? Millions of kids.
They all believe in me.
They're counting on me, Charlie.
I'm not gonna let 'em down.
I got a lot of work to do.
So I can't be selfish either.
You gave me a wonderful gift.
Listen, a wonderful gift.
You believed in me when nobody else did.
You helped make me Santa.
Selfish? Come on.
You're the least selfish person I know.
I love you, Santa Claus.
I love you, son.
Shh.
It's okay. Okay.
It's okay. Shh.
Laura, what do you think? Christmas Eve
you guys spend with Charlie?
Oh, my God.
It's you.
It really is you.
You really are... Santa Claus.
Pretty cool, huh?
Oh, my God.
And your parents thought
I'd never amount to anything.
Wait. Don't go yet.
I have something for you.
It's Santa.
Scott.
Neal.
Santa?
It's okay, Neal.
Here.
It's um, Well, it's...
It's my Christmas present for you.
It's the custody papers.
And, I want you to come and
see Charlie as often as you can.
You can count on it.
Thanks, Laura.
Merry Christmas.
What's all this boo-hooing goin'on here?
Hey, how ya doin'?
It's nothing, Bernard.
I'm just saying good-bye to Charlie.
What good-bye? You still
got the glass ball right? Yeah.
Well, all ya got to do is shake it
whenever you want to see your Dad.
Really?
He can come back to see you...
anytime day or night.
Hey, have I ever steered ya wrong?
Nice sweater.
Hey, did we make this?
Laura. He's sucking us into his delusions.
Look at the elaborate measures he's taken.
Neal, relax.
I'll explain it to you later.
Where'd he go?
Now, go, go!
Team one!
Okay, stand back, folks.
Give us some room.
Here you go, sir.
Thanks.
Return to your homes! Stay off the street!
Come on, folks. Let us do our job here.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hi!
Um, you know, you don't
have to send anybody...
Hey! Hey! My gosh! That's my ex-husband
and he's already up the chimney.
Chief, look up there.
Santa Claus!
Santa.
Look!
What is it?
Oh, wow!
Up there.
Do you see it?
Hey, do you see it?
Good-bye, Charlie.
Bye, Dad!
Merry Christmas to all!
And to all a good night!
I'm sorry, Charlie.
That's okay, Neal. You were
just denying your inner child.
You're gonna make a great
psychiatrist one clay, kid.
No, I think I'm going to
go into the family business.
Look out below!
My wienie whistle.
Bye!
Merry Christmas!
Charlie? Time to come inside.
Mom, this stupid ball. It's not working!
Shoot.
Hey sport!
Dad!
You miss me already?
I've been gone, what? Ten minutes?
Give me a break.
I was on my way to Cleveland.
Come here and give me a hug.
Ohhh! Mmmm!
Do you want to go for a quick ride?
Yeah!
Yeah!
Of course, it's up to your mom.
Please, Mom.
Go on. Get outta here!
All right.
Hold on.
On our way.
Bye, Mom!
Just a quick one.
And, uh...
not over any oceans, Scott.
Bye, Mom! Bye!
Scott.
Scott!
Santa!
♫ All the brightly colored ♫
paper
♫ Lies around
the Christmas tree ♫
♫ While mothers shake
their heads ♫
♫ And pack the decorations
carefully, ♫
♫ Ah the little children
know that ♫
♫ Monday's just another day ♫
♫ They feel a little sad
to think ♫
♫ That Santa's gone away ♫
♫ But Christmas will return ♫
♫ And joyful hearts
like candles burn ♫
♫ With love for all
the little ones ♫
♫ In countries far and near ♫
♫ And if we live and learn ♫
♫ To show the world
our real concern ♫
♫ Then Christmas
will return, yeah ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Yeah ♫
♫ Take a little
Christmas spirit ♫
♫ With you into
each new year ♫
♫ Make a little
Christmas spirit ♫
♫ Last 'til
Easter Sunday's here ♫
♫ Take it with you
through the summer ♫
♫ 'Til the autumn leaves
arrive ♫
♫ In the bitter cold
of winter ♫
♫ The spark is still alive ♫
♫ Christmas will return ♫
♫ And joyful hearts
like candles burn ♫
♫ With love for all
the little ones ♫
♫ In countries far and near ♫
;And if we live and learn ♫
♫ To show the world
our real concern ♫
♫ Then Christmas will return ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Christmas will return ♫
♫ 50 much ♫
♫ Love for the little ones ♫
♫ Oh, they can
live and learn ♫
♫ Yeah ♫
♫ Yeah ♫
♫ Take it with you
through the summer ♫
♫ 'Til the autumn leaves
arrive ♫
♫ In the bitter cold
of winter ♫
♫ See the spark
is still alive ♫
♫ Oh, oh
Christmas will return ♫
♫ joyful hearts
like candles burn ♫
♫ With love for all
the little ones ♫
♫ In counties far and near ♫
♫ If we live and learn ♫
♫ To show the world
our real concern ♫
♫ Christmas will return ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Every year ♫
♫ Every year ♫