The Rum Diary (2011) Movie Script

♪ Volare

♪ Oh, oh

♪ Cantare

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Let's fly way up

to the clouds

♪ Away from

the maddening crowds

♪ We can sing in the glow

of a star that I know of

♪ Where lovers enjoy

peace of mind

♪ Let us leave the confusion

♪ And all disillusion behind

♪ Just like

birds of a feather

♪ A rainbow together

we'll find

♪ Volare

♪ Oh, oh

♪ E cantare

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ No wonder

my happy heart sings

♪ Your love

has given me wings ♪

(AlRPLANE SOARlNG OVER)

(GRUNTS)

(SlGHS)

(AlRPLANE APPROACHlNG)

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Who is it?

MAN: Room service.

ls it eggs?

l don't know, sir.

l didn't order it.

You want some

water with that?

No, no.

No, l don't.

Looks like you

had a night.

They look perfect.

Get out.

l intended to bring that

to the attention

of a member of staff.

l had some difficulty

getting it to open.

lt's the little key

on the door key, sir.

Right.

l was looking for

some nuts.

l tend to avoid alcohol.

When l can.

(SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

l don't speak Spanish.

Cuatro cincuenta.

No change.

(MUTTERlNG)

(CROWD CLAMORlNG)

(SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

(FEEDBACK SCREECHES)

(SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

(SHOUTlNG lN SPANlSH)

No, no, no, no,

you're not listening.

l said the Pirates,

not the Yankees.

lt's going to be

Roberto's year,

l'm telling you.

Looking for Mr. Lotterman.

End of the room.

No, no, the Pirates.

You guys are going

to be all over.

lt's Roberto

Clemente, man.

And by the way, l

want to talk about. . .

LOTTERMAN: Not now!

He's having

the Friday crisis.

You Kemp?

Yeah.

He was expecting you

yesterday.

We had some weather.

Yeah, l heard.

Big snow in New York.

He's still on a call.

You want some coffee?

No, thanks.

What's all the fuss

out front?

You came

in the front?

We don't use that door.

Not when los jibaros

pitch up.

What do they want?

l don't know.

Some fucked idea

of a living wage.

They've been out there

on and off for months.

By the way,

my name's Sala.

Bob Sala,

staff photographer.

Pleased to meet you, Bob.

Yeah.

He's off.

You might want to try

another subservient knock.

Yeah.

Kemp.

Don't notice the wig.

LOTTERMAN:

Yeah. What?

lf you're

who l think you are,

you better sit down.

You find it

a little bright in here?

l'd take them off,

but l have

a medical condition.

What do you mean,

you're blind?

Conjunctivitis, sir.

The old red eye, huh?

(CHUCKLES)

You arrive at a very,

very trying time, Mr. Kemp.

One of those days

stacking up.

So, uh, why don't we cut

through the niceties

and just get

right to it, huh?

That's how

l like to proceed.

Okay.

Your resume here.

(SPlTS)

Very impressive CV.

Yeah.

You worked your way up

some interesting titles.

l really like

the "fluent Spanish."

Mmm.

Wow.

(CHUCKLlNG)

This CV. . . This CV is

a bunch of bullshit.

ls it?

This is two days

on the wire.

A day dead.

We don't have it.

Oh.

What is the matter

with Moburg?

He's about as useful

as a dug-up body.

(CHUCKLES)

You see, the problem with

this newspaper, Mr. Kemp,

is that l am among many

who don't enjoy reading it.

We have

an ailing circulation,

and l just have to

look around this building

to understand why.

Lack of commitment and

too much self-indulgence.

Mmm. Mmm.

So what l'm looking for

is some enthusiasm,

some energy,

some fresh blood.

And the question

that l'm asking myself

is how much alcohol

is usual in yours.

My fresh blood?

How much do you drink?

l suppose at

the upper end of "social."

l'm poised to give up.

Well, Puerto Rico may not be

the best place on Earth

to do that.

Mmm. Mmm.

Don't look so

anxious, Mr. Kemp.

l wouldn't have paid

for your hotel if

l hadn't already hired you.

But this is not

the Last Chance Saloon,

and l do not need

another heavy drinker.

Which l perceive,

from the condition of

eyeballs behind glasses,

that you might

very well qualify as.

This is a medical

condition, Mr. Lotterman.

l know it might look

like something else,

but this is a. . .

Looks like

a fuckin' hangover.

Does it?

(WHlSTLE BLOWlNG OUTSlDE)

(CLAMORlNG)

Come here.

That's the kind of

commitment l like

to see in a man.

Oh ! Determination,

balanced with

appropriate humanity.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah.

Which side

do you dress, Kemp?

l beg your pardon?

Politics.

l kind of hang

in the middle.

(LAUGHS)

This is a schizoid

society, Kemp.

They got two languages,

two flags, two loyalties,

two anthems.

We bring them stuff

they never had.

They either hate it or

they want more of it.

lt's a reluctant part

of America.

lt's like an England

with tropical fruit.

Bob.

Just the man

l wanted to see.

This is Paul Kemp.

He's joining us

from New York.

Yeah, yeah,

we already met.

Uh, that's. . .

That's Mr. Clive Donovan,

sports.

And this is

Mr. Hubert,

accounting.

Listen, do me a favor,

will you?

Show him around,

the dos and don'ts.

lntroduce him

to some of the guys.

l'll take him

up to Al's.

Oh, the hell you will.

You take him to

the library.

You pull out

some volumes.

l want him to get

a sense of the paper.

You know,

make some notes,

go back a few years,

paying particular attention

to bowling alleys.

There's bowling and

bowling alleys.

Very big here.

They're up

like mushrooms.

A new one premieres

every week.

Been to

Puerto Rico before?

No.

Oh, you're going to

fall right into it.

There's a boom

on here, Kemp.

lt's an open door.

You play it right,

you can surf the place.

Ah.

What do you know

about horoscopes?

Nothing.

Ah, well, if l can

write one, you can.

So it's every day with

a special "Star's Star"

featured Saturday

with Betty Grable

and Neil Sedaka,

things like that.

So here,

everything you need

is right there.

lt's called

"Madam La Zonga Predicts."

What happened to

Madam La Zonga?

He got canceled.

What do you

mean, fired?

They raped him to death.

They raped him to death?

There are

very few places

on this island

l decline to visit,

but the toilets

frequented by sailors

on the west side

of Candado Pier is one.

They raped him to death?

La Zonga died in a cubicle.

Say, you're not,

uh, artistic,

are you, Kemp?

Oh, no.

You might want to

rethink those

menthol cigarettes.

They don't do

a thing for you.

(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTER)

Come by the house.

l will.

l like your stuff.

The cuttings you sent

to Lotterman.

Oh.

lt's good writing.

Thanks.

We'll talk.

SALA:

One more floor!

(BUZZER SOUNDlNG)

They put in automated

packing machines

about six months ago.

They mechanized

almost everything.

There used to be

50 guys down here.

Now there's five.

Hence happiness

in the street.

Souvenir, day one.

SALA:

Here's to pretty women

with filthy thoughts.

(CHUCKLlNG)

Want a burger?

No.

Burger?

No, thanks.

Try it. Dos.

So how was

the induction?

Somewhat fraught.

No disrespect, Paul,

but he didn't have

a lot of choice.

You know how many people

applied for the job?

One. You.

ls that right?

Even then,

l thought l'd blown it.

Zeroed in on

my weakest spot.

WOLSLEY:

Which is what?

Two and a half

unpublished novels

and references

of equal fiction.

Oh, you're

a novelist.

Mmm, in a manner

of speaking.

Can't even get read.

So l figured l'd do

some words for money,

see how it's looking

in a year or two.

SALA:

At El Star?

Hate to tell you this

on the way in,

but this publication's

on its way out.

And as far as l'm concerned,

it can't come soon enough.

Not going to happen.

SALA: You like

a little vonga on that?

l'll give you 1 3 to 2

this thing's over by June.

They're going to

cut the cord.

Then why put in

all the new machinery?

Precisely my point,

and he can't answer it.

Well, like l'm tired

of arguing the obvious.

Come on.

Let's eat.

Now, l got to go

and see a man

about a horse.

Good to meet you, Paul.

(SlGHS)

Another night unfolds

over Old San Juan.

You been here long?

Too long.

This place is like

someone you fucked

and they're still

under you.

Why don't you quit?

Life's full of exits.

Because l'm waiting

for it to collapse

so l get the payoff.

Three grand redundancy

puts me in Mexico.

Don't look left.

That's an introduction

you don't want to have.

Who's he?

Living example

of everything that's

wrong with this paper.

His name's Moburg.

Our Crime and

Religious Affairs

correspondent.

Lotterman can't fire him

because he never sees him.

He's rarely out

in daylight.

Looks like

he enjoys a drink.

The entire substructure

of his brain

is eaten away with rum.

l'm telling you,

this enterprise is doomed.

There's maybe three or four

professionals in the building

running the entire show.

Wait a minute.

Who is Hal Sanderson?

ln the library.

Who's he?

He used to work

for the paper.

Now he's what

he says he is.

A PR consultant.

Selling this place

street by street

to the Yankees.

Keeps a greasy little

bastard of a contact

called Segurra.

Mmm.

l saw him.

We didn't meet.

Wouldn't bother.

Piss on the make.

The boy, Segurra,

is at the property

wickedness.

l'm not sure

where Sanderson fits.

But Sanderson's

worth cultivation.

He's got some

good connections.

He's good for

some freelance.

This place is depressing me

beyond belief tonight.

You're at

Plage Xanadu, right?

Mmm.

Come on.

l'll give you a ride.

(TlRES SCREECH)

l was thinking,

if you need somewhere,

l got a room for rent.

Not the best address

in town, but it's got

a fridge and TV.

60 a month.

Sounds inviting.

l might remention that.

Meanwhile,

bleed it dry.

Uh, sir. . .

l was hoping for a swim.

The pool is

closed tonight.

Really? Why?

What's going on?

lt's a Union Carbide party.

lt's a private function.

(MUSlC PLAYlNG lN DlSTANCE)

(SlGHS)

Sorry.

l didn't realize

anyone was there.

l thought

it was just floating.

lt is just floating.

You doing

what l'm doing?

l don't think so.

What are you doing?

Escaping

the dreadful party.

l just snuck out

and unzipped.

Well, that's very

courageous of you.

l thought maybe

you were a mermaid.

They tell me the coast

is infested with them.

l'm from Connecticut.

My boyfriend's

making a speech.

Takes exactly 21 minutes.

Well, then l guess

it's pointless,

me inviting you for a drink.

What you got?

No, l mean at the bar.

Pointless.

l'd better go before

they wonder where l went.

Wait a minute.

What's your name?

Let's keep that a secret.

l don't even know it.

Well, then you'll

keep it even better.

What about your star sign?

l'm an experienced

astronomer.

Could try Pisces.

The fish.

Oh, God.

Why did she

have to happen?

Just when l was doing

so good without her.

KEMP: What would you say you

like most about Puerto Rico?

The bowling alleys

and the casinos.

Course, she likes

the duty free.

Well, the more you spend,

the more you save.

KEMP: Have you seen

a lot of the island?

We don't leave the hotel.

lt isn't safe.

KEMP: But

you're having fun?

Oh, yeah !

A lotta, lotta fun !

KEMP: Have some fun

with a fucking Luger.

These alleys are magnets

to the glutton.

They come off the boats

like locusts.

Beasts of obesity.

Asses that wouldn't

feel an arrow.

The great whites.

Probably the most dangerous

creatures on Earth.

SALA:

There's your baby.

Walt and his woman.

Bowling alleys

isn't exactly

what l had in mind.

Tread it till

the snow melts,

then join the exodus.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Red light!

LOTTERMAN:

Looking for Kemp.

Too many adjectives,

too much cynicism.

Nobody wants what's

wrong with the place,

they want to read about

what's right.

lt's a rewrite.

Yeah, l'm aware of that.

And while you're at it,

you might want to rewrite

the title and call it

"Ten Things That l Love

About Puerto Rico."

So,

how's the sobriety

coming along?

l'm cutting down.

Oh. By that,

l assume you mean

the size of the bottles.

How does anybody

drink 1 61 miniatures?

You're averaging

93 miniatures a week.

What, do they

stock the place

four times a day?

Are they not

complimentary?

No, Mr. Kemp,

they are not.

And neither is wine

and long-distance

phone calls.

So, as of Monday,

you are no longer

a resident of the Xanadu.

And what exactly

brings you

into the building?

Don't hazel me.

l got the X-rays back.

l got less than

a week to live.

LOTTERMAN: Hazel you?

What are you talking about,

you Swedish twerp?

You know,

it may have crossed

what's left of your mind

that l have

a newspaper

to run here,

that we have

something called news

going on out there.

But as far as

you're concerned,

l might as well look out

of the fuckin' window!

What are you

doing here?

This is a newspaper.

There's nothing

here for you.

Two of the best scoops

you ever had

came out of my brain.

And you better

moderate your language

or l'll go elsewhere.

Elsewhere where?

You couldn't get work

as a fly repellent.

You're worthless, Moburg.

The last onion

in the jar.

Don't push me, Lotterman.

l'm dangerous when pushed.

Oh, l know why

you're here.

lt's payday. (LAUGHS)

But in your case,

deferred on

a permanent basis.

You're fired !

You can't fire me.

You owe me money.

And you better pay it,

or l'll come through the roof

and turn this place

into an insurance claim.

LOTTERMAN:

Are you threatening me?

Hey, guys,

let's take it easy.

You want to

suffer some voodoo?

You twerp!

Eat the death pill, Lotterman !

Come on,

we're walking.

Did you hear

what he said to me?

This guy's

my blood pressure.

This guy's

going to kill me.

And l want the negative

of that picture destroyed !

l don't want that animal

in this building again.

He is hygienically

unacceptable.

Did you see the side

of his nose?

Blackheads

like Braille.

They should have him

put down.

(PANTlNG)

Moburg is history.

He's out of here

at the earliest

opportunity.

And the earliest

opportunity

You understand

what l'm saying, Kemp?

l think l get

the drift.

l want you to

immerse yourself

into this paper,

'cause you got

the talent and l think

you got the will.

You make it grow

and you grow

right along with it.

l'm not best placed

to do that.

You think

it's my intention

to keep you on

horoscopes and rewrites

and bowling alleys?

(CHUCKLES)

Matter of fact,

l'm gonna move you

right now.

Take a cab to

the airport.

The mayor of Miami's

coming in.

Make him sound nice.

l want a picture

and an interview.

Make it work, Paul.

(WOMAN SPEAKlNG

lNDlSTlNCTLY ON PA)

You leaving

us already?

l'm moving into

an apartment if this

mayor guy ever shows up.

They keep changing

"delayed" to "delayed."

You want to have

some breakfast?

Little lobster

on the beach?

Twenty minutes away.

Sounds inviting,

but l got to wait

for the mayor.

lsn't coming.

Canceled.

That's not what it

says on the board.

lt will in a minute.

l just called Miami.

Come on, let's have

some breakfast.

l got a couple things

might interest you.

l better call in.

You can call

from the car.

All right.

Yeah, thanks.

There's only

two of those

on the island.

Maybe three.

No one told me it

was so pretty here.

God's idea of money.

You know what makes

this place a gold mine?

Something that

doesn't exist.

How's that?

Land.

There isn't enough of it.

Those who know how to

get it get the gold.

Chenault?

Paul's joining us

for breakfast.

Looks like

it's gonna be

a lunch.

This is Chenault.

You two know

each other?

l don't know,

l thought maybe

we met on the plane.

Oh, l don't

think so.

l flew

Boyfriend Airlines.

Tell me, do you

like lobster, Paul?

You know what,

l might not have

time today.

l didn't realize the drive

was gonna take so long.

How much time you got?

ln 1 5 minutes,

l'm late.

l'll cut up

a pineapple.

SANDERSON: You might want

to put on some clothes.

She sunbathes

in the nude.

A few of

the over-tanned locals

tend to treat it

as a tourist attraction.

Doesn't surprise me.

l mean that in a. . .

ln a very tasteful way.

lt's a private beach.

They shouldn't be here.

Sit down, Paul, sit down.

We'll grab you a cab.

(CHUCKLES)

His name's Harry.

Got the idea

from a book.

Paul, l wanted to talk,

because l'm looking

for someone who can

assimilate contradictory

points of view

and make them

into one voice.

You're a novelist, right?

Who told you that?

Oh, please.

Newspapers are

full of gossip.

l'm looking for someone

who's good with words,

next day, you turn up.

And 'cause l believe

in good luck,

l thought maybe

you were it.

What l need

is someone with

the right kind of eyes.

For looking at what?

Looking at that.

An ocean of money.

(DOG BARKlNG)

Hey, you made it.

Door at the end.

Hey.

Hey. Just give me

two minutes.

Walk right in.

All right.

(JAZZ MUSlC PLAYlNG QUlETLY)

(ROOSTER CLUCKS)

(CROWS)

(CLUCKlNG)

l was trying to

get the place shipshape

before you arrived.

Adolf Hitler Speaks?

Not mine.

Nazi stuff belongs

to Moburg.

Moburg lives here?

He keeps his uniform here.

l never see him

from one month's end

to the next.

So, you can see,

it's quite spacious.

Don't look in

the kitchen.

The water's off.

There's a problem

with the valve.

Thought you said

you had a TV.

l said l kind of

have a TV.

The guy across the alley

has a TV,

l have binoculars.

His wife's deaf.

With the window open,

you hear every word.

Oh, here it comes.

Water's coming up.

l, uh, noticed

you had some chickens

in the bedroom.

Cockerels.

Yeah, l'm sweating

the grease out.

Don't worry about them,

l'm moving them to my room.

What do you

do with them?

You eat them?

Eat them?

Nah.

l don't eat them.

(ALL SHOUTlNG)

Come on, baby, come on !

Get in there,

get in there!

Come on !

(CHEERlNG)

(ALL CHEERlNG)

Hey, on a trade wind,

my boy!

On a trade wind !

Come on, bump it up,

there, Bobby.

Bump, bump,

bump, bump.

Yes, sir!

(CLUCKlNG)

(CAMERA CLlCKS)

(MEN CHATTERlNG lN SPANlSH)

Hey. They call him

El Monstruo.

Say he's never lost

a fight in three years.

Come on,

we're out of here.

Come on,

rapido, rapido.

(KlDS CHATTERlNG lN SPANlSH)

Hey, hey,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

Come on.

Go on.

(KlDS CHATTERlNG lN SPANlSH)

(COlNS CLlNKlNG)

(KlDS CHATTERlNG EXClTEDLY)

l tell you, we were

on a roll til that

thing turned up.

That's $21 7.

Not bad.

$21 7 is

a shitload of money.

Relatively a shitload.

They're expensive

to train.

l've seen guys win 2,000,

ten on North Beach.

1 0,000?

Why didn't he take

El Monstruo down there?

You're talking

the environs of

the Hilton Hotel.

They wear bowties

and shiny shoes.

There's no hope for

his kind of hat.

The question, again,

is not one of goals.

We're for those goals.

lt's one of means.

MAN: Were you claiming

that the Eisenhower

administration...

How long can

this blizzard of shame

go on?

Look at this ingrate

besotted with

his own righteousness.

Black is a very dark

shade of white.

Well, thank you

very much, Mr. Nixon.

l can't listen to

any more of this.

Lies like he breathes.

lmagine spending

your entire life lying.

Holy Christ.

Never got worse.

The only eventuality

worse than him is

you know that one day,

some filthy whore-beast

is gonna show up,

make him look

like a liberal.

The only upside

with Nixon is

he ain't gonna win.

He's got the grin.

He ain't gonna win.

lrish guy's

going to win.

But they'll never

let him live.

How do you know that?

l do "horror-scopes."

(DOOR OPENS)

Thought you said

he never came here.

He's got filters.

What filters?

He goes over the wall

at the Barcardi plant.

These filters

are the last in line in

the distillation process.

They contain more ethanol

than rocket fuel.

What's it like?

A hand on the brain.

Off the scale.

470 proof.

No such thing

as 470 proof alcohol.

Certainty you might be

required to moderate.

Ah.

No smoking

in the extraction area,

if you please.

Don't be ridiculous.

Not for the social drinker.

You want to quaff?

No.

Not right now.

l got to write.

l got a deadline.

Oh, what's he writing?

He's lifting the stone

on the American Dream.

Guayanilla Bay.

Oh, yeah.

lt's bad down there.

You might find such

a topic attracts

a limited readership.

Only need one.

Taking it to Lotterman.

Yeah. Oh, did

l hear somebody

say "good luck"?

(LAUGHS)

Yeah, l went down

there this morning,

he unfired me

on a temporary basis,

maggot that he is.

l'd like to

bring something in

to Lotterman.

Like a slide-action,

"fuck you" gun.

Don't drink

that here.

(GROANS)

Just a nipperoo,

old boy.

Quality test.

Man, slow-motion murder,

just like they do

in the movies.

See him flying back,

fuckin' arms

flapping in the air.

Okay, mother.

Look upon the last

face you'll see

this side of hell !

Bam !

(LAUGHS)

Down he goes,

morsels of

vital organs

spinning off

into flesh orbit.

Bam !

There goes

his asshole.

Bam !

There goes

his dick.

Bam ! Bam !

Fuck you, Lotterman !

You're in a B-fucking movie,

and l am the death machine!

Shall we have

some Adolf?

Definitely not.

On your way,

on your way,

Moburg.

Hey, we're

expecting guests.

l thought you said

he was writing a book.

Said l was

writing an essay.

And it requires

some shut mouth.

Oh, don't waste

your time on

those junkyard losers.

This country was

built on genocide

and slavery.

We killed

all the black guys

that were here,

and then

we shipped in new

black guys of our own,

and then we

brought in Jesus,

like a bar of soap.

Let's go.

You know it.

l am the religious

correspondent.

Fuck off with

your Jesus Police!

lf the Bible's God's

book, why didn't He

give it to everyone?

(DOOR SLAMS)

(SlGHS)

"We give more money

to parking meters than

we do to kids to eat."

Don't read me like that.

l've done the research.

1 2,000-ton rust bucket

went down in the bay

full of hydrochloric acid.

Killed off

everything in the sea.

Killed off the fishermen.

Their kids

are picking garbage.

All right,

don't get angry.

lt's hot outside.

You want a Scotch?

Yeah.

Ten years ago. . .

Five. Five years ago,

l might have said

go after it.

Now l say go with it.

There's nothing

you can change.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Sometimes you just

got to spew over the side

and keep rowing.

(CHUCKLES)

lnto a nut

brown sunset.

lt's the land of

multiple outrage.

Thousands trodden on

before you wake up

for breakfast.

That isn't news,

it's a commercial reality.

And providing it

isn't their sunset,

nobody gives

one-fifth of a fuck.

You underestimate

your readers.

l don't think so.

You underestimate me.

You told me to make it work,

that's what l want to do.

Wind down this La Zonga crap

and make a newspaper.

Let me tell you

some home truth.

This paper's been

on its knees to a bank

since the day it opened.

And like most every other

newspaper on Earth,

it's financed

by its advertising.

And without advertising,

not only is

there no La Zonga,

there's no paper

to put it in, so, thus,

there are one or two things

that we don't write about.

ln other words,

nothing at all.

ln one other word,

discretion.

You're not

a foreign correspondent

in some far-flung

foreign land,

this is America.

This is Puerto Rico.

This is America.

You think some plumber

from Normal, lllinois,

saves up for 25 years

to come here

on a cruise ship

to read about bad times

in the sugar plantation?

They don't give a fuck!

The average guy

don't rock the boat,

'cause he wants

to climb aboard it.

And our readership

is vividly average.

(CHUCKLES)

They don't care

who the losers are.

(CHUCKLES) They want

to know who won.

Who won the bowls,

who won the races,

who won the pot

at the slot machines.

Look at me, Kemp.

You're not sleeping,

you're wide awake.

And this is

the American Dream.

So many hotels,

you can't see the sea.

You can see the sea

by checking into

the hotels.

Pay to see the sea?

What's the matter

with that?

You're paying to be

in the dream.

There's a thin

veneer, Kemp,

between the dream

and the reality.

You wake them up

and the people might start

asking for their money back.

You're the boss.

Not quite.

The editorial policy

of this newspaper

is owned by the dream.

Oh, God.

Oh, Christ.

Oh, God, look at that.

Oh, God !

Hal?

Oh.

No, no,

l'm a friend of Hal's.

l was looking at his boat.

She's a sweet

little beauty.

You been aboard?

No.

Great little

island hopper.

We've all been

down on her.

lt's a wonderful

experience.

You two are early.

Oh, you got lucky.

SANDERSON: Yeah.

Did you meet?

Oh, yeah,

we got first names.

Art Zimburger, late of

the U.S. Marines,

great friend of mine.

This is Mr. Paul Kemp,

New York Times.

Oh, you're the writer.

Paul's a novelist.

Uh-huh.

(MR. ZlMBURGER CHUCKLES)

New York Times?

He don't know one

from the other.

Just go with it.

This guy's key.

Key to what?

Key to the discussion

we're about to have.

Look at those mothers.

Come with me, Kemp.

This is a private beach.

We are not on it.

No, but we are!

And what we do is private!

Now get the fuck gone!

Get the fuck out of here!

l see your face again,

you're gonna have

a 1 2-gauge shotgun

telling you what to do.

Talking about Satan. . .

lf there ever was

a kingdom of Satan,

the Soviet Union is it.

The only way to come

to terms with Communism

is to destroy it.

Hit it before it hits us

in a devastating

democratic strike.

No more for

the major.

They're looking for a man

to push that button,

l am that man.

MRS. ZlMBURGER:

Yes, you are, honey.

You look ravishing,

Chenault.

Thank you.

You need rescuing?

Oh, don't

take him away.

He's very

entertaining.

(CHUCKLES)

We were discussing Cuba and,

l don't know, we kind of

veered off, didn't we?

Paul presents us

with a somewhat

liberal point of view.

MR. ZlMBURGER:

There is no such thing

as a liberal.

A liberal is a Commie

with a college education

thinking Negro thoughts.

Well, here's a fact

for you.

76.4% of all Negroes

are controlled from Moscow.

That's why Castro gets

such an easy ride.

ln my view,

we ought to bomb Cuba

off the face of the Earth,

let its people

live in peace.

Art.

Hey.

Come on, let's eat.

Come on.

Who's the guy

in the shades?

Segurra's Daddy.

lt's who you're waiting for.

Oh.

Thank you for my roses.

l didn't think you noticed.

Of course l noticed.

SANDERSON:

Paul, would you mind

joining us?

Oh.

How do you do, sir?

Mr. Kemp.

Nice to see you.

Mr. Kemp.

Okay.

Let me just start

by saying

this is a purely

informal meeting.

And, incidentally,

you don't worry

about Lotterman, okay?

Lotterman?

What the hell's Lotterman

got to do with

The New York Times?

Mr. Kemp subs for

a variety of newspapers.

Occasionally, he writes

for the news.

What he does

in his spare time

is his affair.

That's how l like it.

We'd like you to do

some writing for us.

So l gather.

About what?

SANDERSON: ln a sentence,

we want to set something up,

and have the public

as our friends.

And there are a variety

of ways we can do that.

Let me tell you

how this kind

of thing works, Paul.

Suppose, by way of example,

you wanted to put up taxes

by five percent.

The smart way of doing it

is to float the idea

of a ten percent hike.

Let them all shout about it,

get themselves in a fuss,

then you offer concessions.

"How about seven percent?"

"No way," they'll say.

"All right, let's

stay friends and make

a compromise at five."

Bingo.

They think

they won something,

you get the five percent

you wanted

in the first place.

Same thing applies

to real estate.

You want to build

five houses,

you put in a planning

application for 50.

How many do you

want to build?

None.

We want to

build one hotel.

Well, looking

around this place,

l don't think

anyone would notice.

lt isn't in this place.

lt's an island.

Sensitive for a variety

of reasons we don't

want to get into now.

Nobody wants a paradise

choked with hotels, but

everybody will be pleased

to compromise at one.

This is going to require

some clever writing

lsn't that

kind of thing illegal?

MR. ZlMBURGER:

lf l may say, Mr. Kemp,

that's an

inappropriate comment.

Where's the island?

Can't tell you.

Not yet.

Discretion is paramount,

Mr. Kemp.

lf you want to join us,

you'll have to

sign some papers.

We're having a meeting

tomorrow in Hal's office.

lf you want to be

part of what will be

a very exciting project,

come along.

There's a man outside

in a funny little car

for Paul.

Oh, yeah.

Gentlemen,

if you'll excuse me.

l have to run.

Can't stay?

l hear the mermaids

come out in the moonlight.

(TUNlNG RADlO)

From the moment we met,

l knew

there was going to be

something between us.

lt's called her fiance.

God, l'm so hopelessly

and progressively in love.

Do not confuse

love with lust,

nor drunkenness

with judgment.

(ROOSTER CLUCKlNG)

You want my advice?

No. lf it involves her,

no, l don't.

Stay away from her.

And stay away

from Sanderson.

You're way

out of depth.

l got no brief for Sanderson

or his pissy rip-off island.

l just want some

apple blossom lipstick

and fucks.

You are in total denial.

She's fucking

someone else.

Oh !

And as l understand it,

about to be

married to him.

La-la-la-la-la-la!

You won't even

make an invite.

(TlRES SCREECH)

l don't believe this.

We're right back

where we started.

That is the same

Cabrones we passed

ten minutes ago.

(HORN HONKlNG)

We need directions.

Let's get in there and

get something to eat.

(GASPS)

(HOARSELY) No.

Please, no.

l haven't spent

all day on a beach

munching lobster

with criminals,

and l'm starving.

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG QUlETLY)

(VOLARE PLAYlNG)

Two beers, two rums,

one steak.

The kitchen is closed.

All right then,

two beers and two rums.

And one steak.

Cerrado,

Mister. . .

Yeah, but let's not

bother me with that.

You got a sign down there

saying, "Food til midnight,"

and l want a steak.

(SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

Girl of the swamp.

Which reminds me,

we need a map.

You know

what l think?

l think we're drinking

too much rum.

There's no other way.

l'm getting double ashtray

and double salt pot.

(CHUCKLES)

You got a Moburg bifocal.

Christ, this is heinous.

lmagine what it must be like

to be an alcoholic.

$2.

You pay and you go.

l don't see a steak.

No steak.

What do you mean,

no steak?

l think he means no steak.

The kitchen is closed.

l got no way

of serving you.

Listen, you don't want

to hear about my bad day,

and l don't want

no grave side out of you.

lf you can't cook it,

bring it like it is.

l'll eat it raw.

Two dollars,

you pay and go.

Don't bother me.

You pay now,

or l call the cops.

lf you have no intention

of serving me steak,

why don't you do

your best to fuck off.

(MEN SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

lt seems to me there's

a bad vibe developing.

There are one or two oddities

giving us the eye.

Don't get paranoid.

He's on the phone.

For what?

Ordering food

in a restaurant?

Let's hope

he's through to the FBl.

Si, la policia?

What's the matter?

What are you smiling at?

l'm not smiling.

l'm maintaining

a casual face.

(MEN SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

A man just walked in

and has good reason

for regarding us

in a negative light.

Us?

Me.

And he's just seen me.

And he wants revenge

on the white man.

The fuck are you

talking about?

How about the one

with the dent?

The one with the eye?

The very same.

Do we walk or run?

Walk.

l'll push the car.

Let's walk and

hope he's happy.

(MEN SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

Hey, Yankee.

Yankee!

(SHOUTlNG lN SPANlSH)

Don't let me

see headlights.

Please don't let me

see headlights.

l just seen

headlights.

Put your foot down.

Where exactly do

you think l got it?

(MEN SHOUTlNG)

Can you go faster?

Going fast as l can.

(MEN SHOUTlNG lN SPANlSH)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(SHOUTS lN SPANlSH)

(SHOUTlNG lN SPANlSH)

KEMP:

Jesus Christ, man.

(ROOSTER CLUCKlNG)

(SHOUTS lN SPANlSH)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

(CLUCKlNG)

We're gonna be killed !

Hey!

Get ready to run.

Run in

opposite directions.

Give me the brew!

Give me the fucking brew!

(SCREAMS)

(SlRENS APPROACHlNG)

Paul !

(PEOPLE SPEAKlNG lN SPANlSH)

(CAMERAS CLlCKlNG)

(MEN MURMURlNG)

Piece of luck.

l just saw Moburg.

At least l think

he saw us.

(MAN SHOUTS lN SPANlSH)

They got some kind of

night court going.

(MAN SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

He says

we were animals

on a rampage

of drunken anarchy,

poured gasoline

on one of his cops.

(GROANlNG)

(GAVEL BANGlNG)

(MAN SHOUTlNG lN SPANlSH)

(SHOUTS lN SPANlSH)

Oh, my God,

we're doomed.

You have

something to say?

Yes, Your Honor,

l do.

Firstly, this guy

handcuffed to me,

l never seen in my life.

And second,

we'd like a translation

of the charges.

You heard

what they said?

With respect,

l heard people

speaking Spanish.

What kind of language

do you think we speak

in this country, Mister?

(VOMlT SPLATTERlNG)

(GROANlNG)

He's not with us.

The cops attached him

to get a conviction.

Did you leave

the Cafe Cabrones

without paying?

Did you set fire

to the police officer,

yes or no?

Unfortunately, Your Honor,

he got in the way

of our flame.

That's right.

No way did we pour

gasoline on his head

and laugh as we did.

(LAUGHS)

lt wasn't like he said.

Like he said?

Like you say

you don't speak Spanish.

Mr. Kemp doesn't

speak Spanish.

JUDGE: Well, he will

have plenty of

opportunity to learn.

The charges against you

are grave.

Resisting arrest

carries a tariff alone

of one year in prison.

Never mind assault

with a deadly weapon.

l'm going to

refer this case

to a higher court.

Meanwhile,

l remand you both

in custody for 30 days.

(MAN CLEARS THROAT)

(SANDERSON SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

lf l may,

Your Honor.

(SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

Go ahead, Mr. Sanderson.

Thank you,

Your Honor.

lt isn't my purpose

to interrupt proceedings,

but if the intention

is to remand

these gentlemen,

l would respectfully ask

for a brief recess

to allow me

to contact

their counsel.

JUDGE: Who is who?

Alfredo Quinones.

lt would necessitate

getting him out of bed,

of course.

But given the importance

of these gentlemen to

various interests,

l'm sure that he would

be as pleased as l

to come down here

at 3:00 in the morning.

How much did

we cost him?

About $1 ,000 apiece.

(ENGlNE STARTS)

l can't thank

you enough.

Don't be late.

(GROANlNG)

(GRUNTS)

(GULPlNG)

SALA:

Mother of balls!

We got to rescue the car.

Not now.

We'll do it later.

l've got a meeting.

We do not have later.

They've already

had it 1 2 hours.

l know how

these bastards work.

They can strip a train

to axles in 1 2 minutes.

We'll be lucky

to find an oil spot.

How long is this

gonna take?

How would l know?

l can't be late.

l don't know

why you're going at all.

That guy is bad company.

He's a manipulative prick.

He manipulated us

out of jail, didn't he?

Now he fucking owns us.

l got a tongue like. . .

Like a towel.

Want a beer?

Do l want a beer?

No, l do not.

l am never gonna

touch alcohol again.

What fresh

hell is this?

Front seat's gone.

That's a write-off.

lsn't it?

(PANTlNG)

You know what,

l've got a brilliant idea.

(CAR RATTLlNG)

What's that?

SALA: There's too much

weight on the axle.

Try and move

forward a bit.

Ugh, gonna be late.

l'm gonna be a week late.

What are you doing, Sala?

l suddenly realize

how much l like you.

What do you mean,

what am l doing?

There's something wrong

with the axle.

Oh, my God,

it's the cop

we set on fire.

Try and look normal.

(SlREN WAlLlNG)

Make a right!

What right?

There is no right.

Any right!

(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

(BOTH SCREAMlNG)

(SCREAMlNG)

(CAR CRASHlNG)

SANDERSON:

Oh, there he is.

Paul, come in.

Sorry. There were

unexpected developments.

l had to go home

and start the day again.

Tell me about it.

Some days are

two sizes too small.

Well, l'm afraid

some of us

had to leave.

But, Mr. Zimburger

you know.

And this is Mr. Green

of First National

Maritime Bank.

You want some coffee?

l think we should

move right along, Hal.

l gotta go.

Sure.

Sit down, Paul.

As you may know,

Mr. Kemp,

the island is owned

by the U.S. government.

Part of it presently

used as a target range

by the Navy.

We know from

internal sources. . .

ls that what

you're calling me?

(MEN CHUCKLlNG)

. . .that the government

is preparing

to relinquish the lease,

and this place wakes up

as 32 square miles

of magnificent

and untouched

real estate.

Knock your eyes out.

No prettier beaches

in the Caribbean.

Orientated around

one hell of a

beautiful marina.

Thought it was one hotel.

We start with one hotel.

lt's a foot in the door.

Once we're up and running,

we're servants of a market.

Like here?

Like here.

You look worried,

Mr. Kemp.

He's not worried.

Paul and l shared

a tricky little night.

Right, Paul?

Oh.

Neither of us

got much sleep.

(CHUCKLES)

l gotta go, guys.

Well, we'll leave

you gentlemen to it.

Has Mr. Kemp

signed the papers?

Doing that

right now.

What. . . What am l

actually signing?

Just a confidentiality

agreement,

affirmation of trust.

Just so we're all sitting

in the same Jacuzzi.

ln case a turd floats up,

if you know what l mean.

Come on, Paul,

let's go over here.

Here you go.

(SlGHS)

lt's just

a technicality, Paul.

Means you promise

not to talk to anybody

about the project.

How's the head?

Unpleasant.

Gotta thank you again

for putting up the bail.

lt's held on

my cognizance.

And l think it

more than likely

to slip various minds.

This place is a sea

of money, Paul.

Unbelievable money.

Practically every

major corporation

hides its cash offshore.

No, thanks.

And that is

good news for us,

because we are the shore.

Not one dollar

that wings its way

into Puerto Rico

pays a cent in tax.

Nothing?

Not penny one.

That includes

chemical companies,

oil companies,

mining companies.

There's $1 2 billion

worth of copper

in mountains less than

20 miles from here.

A dozen billion dollars.

And there's

people like me

who know how

to get it out.

So, putting it

into context,

l don't envisage

the breaking of bones

to get at a thousand bucks.

Because you

weren't here,

l agreed to an itinerary

with Zimburger

on your behalf.

You'll be traveling down

in the morning.

Hope that's okay.

What do you need, Paul?

Well, just in the context

of this Zimburger thing,

do you think

there's a possibility

of an advance?

l don't like to ask,

but Lotterman's

pretty erratic

with the paycheck,

you know.

Need to get

a hold of a car.

You don't have a car?

Nothing too reliable.

Plus, sooner or later,

l'm gonna have to find

a decent place to live.

Well, we can

help you with that.

When you get back,

we'll sort you out

something with a view.

Carol, what do we

have in the garage?

No, no, no, no,

no, no, not that.

Yeah, that's fine.

Okay, thank you.

Got you a car.

She'll give you the keys

on the way out.

Feels like 500?

Yeah. Thanks.

Oh, Paul. . .

How's your afternoon?

A half-written horoscope.

Do me a favor, will you?

Drive out to the beach

and pick up Chenault.

l need her

downstairs by 6:00.

All right.

(ENGlNE REVVlNG)

So, this one?

Or. . .

This one?

What are these for,

a party?

lt's for carnival.

Didn't he say anything

to you about it?

No.

Oh, you've got to come.

We're all going down

on the boat.

He didn't invite me.

Well, it isn't

his carnival.

Oh, this one.

Um. . .

l like the other one.

Yes.

Love this car.

Did he give it to you?

(CHUCKLES) l wish.

Fast.

You want a little bet?

A bet about what?

That you scream

before l do.

That l scream

before you do,

in relation to what?

Well, how fast

does it go?

l don't know.

That's the bet.

l already crashed

one car today.

lt's okay.

l'll just go sit

in the foyer

and wait for him.

What do l get if l win?

l'll let you know

if you do.

(ENGlNE REVVlNG)

(TlRES SCREECH)

(ENGlNE REVVlNG)

(BOTH SCREAMlNG)

(TlRES SCREECHlNG)

Come on,

l'll take you back.

KEMP: Christ,

where'd they get this?

l don't remember.

l've been slightly

avoiding Lotterman.

You have me to thank

for your freedom.

Thanks.

l got a feeling

of total anxiety

trying to put

my anxieties together

in a single, coherent lump.

l'm fucked without a car.

l got us a car.

lt's the Chevy downstairs.

lt belongs to Mr. Sanderson.

So what?

l gotta go

type this up.

(LOTTERMAN SHOUTlNG)

l don't know

what's going on.

He's freaking out

and we're down 1 2 pages.

(SHOUTlNG CONTlNUES)

You better

frigging do it!

l see your filthy

animal face

in here again,

l'll have you

locked up!

What part of the building

are you creeping

towards, Sala?

Darkroom.

Cops are

looking for you.

Looking for me?

Looking for you.

And it ain't

just your mug

in the paper!

What a day.

What a week.

l tell you,

l'm out of here.

One way to

friggin' Mexico.

Listen, l got

a trip tomorrow.

Sanderson's island.

No, no, no.

Oh, dear.

lt's green money,

and l'm thinking of cutting

across for the carnival.

You know they

got that carnival

in Saint Thomas.

l know.

Why don't you

come with me?

Give the cops

a few days to forget.

Yeah. Fun.

(LAUGHlNG)

(DlSTANT EXPLOSlON)

Our guys.

1 2-inch Naval,

1 4 miles out.

Nobody lives here?

No one who's staying.

(DlSTANT EXPLOSlONS CONTlNUE)

Lazar!

Mr. Zimburger.

(LAUGHS)

This is Mr. Lazar,

our much put-upon

site architect.

How do you do.

Hello.

Mr. Monk,

l think you know.

l assist Mr. Green,

First Maritime Bank.

This is Mr. Kemp

from The New York Times.

What did you say

your name was?

Bob Sala.

Yeah, Sala.

From American

Travel Writers

Association.

(CHUCKLES)

Mr. Kemp is

preparing

our brochure.

"Wish you were here."

Beer in the cooler,

gentlemen.

l have everything

next door.

This and this are

the main hotels.

22 floors.

Guardians of the bay,

so to speak.

Why the different colors?

Blue is for

public dissemination,

red is for the investors.

Yeah.

Hill villas,

ocean condos.

Marina.

(CHUCKLES)

Parking for 2,000 cars.

There's no roads.

Damn it, Lazar,

you forgot the roads!

(LAUGHlNG)

We're building them.

Let's have some lunch.

(DlSTANT EXPLOSlONS CONTlNUE)

1 0,000 waiters, maids,

bellhops, janitors, clerks.

Plus, whores

for the fat man.

Hard to believe

they'd do it.

l was talking to that

architect kind of guy.

He's going

to Saint Thomas,

if you want a ride.

When?

How do l know when?

When he's finished here.

You know what

Oscar Wilde said?

"They know the price

of everything,

"the value of nothing."

(LlVELY MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Two rums.

l thought

you'd given up.

Finally beat my willpower.

Come on,

let's go here.

(LlVELY MUSlC PLAYlNG)

(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)

Hey, mi amigo!

Hey, Rosie's a singer.

Paul !

Where's Hal?

Boat.

Boat?

Help me find

my girlfriend.

CHENAULT: Hey!

How are you?

Watch your step.

Thank you.

All right.

There we go.

Thank you.

Hi.

Look at you.

SANDERSON: Good.

Grab some champagne.

Hey, Captain.

Hey.

Did you take Sala

to the island?

You shouldn't have

done that, Paul.

lt's why we have

a confidentiality agreement.

He isn't interested.

He's got a mouth

like an AP wire.

l just don't know

what he was doing there.

And l sure as shit don't

know what he's doing here.

(SOFT MUSlC PLAYlNG)

Not going glum

on us, are you?

Just thoughts.

What's the book?

The Rime of the

Ancient Mariner.

lt was written in 1 797

by a junkie

called Coleridge.

He wrote that

when he was

25 years old.

l've been dragging

a typewriter

around with me for 1 0.

l've written nothing.

You've written some books.

Nah.

They had no voice.

l don't know how

to write like me.

l resent that.

No, l really have

to say he's all right.

l have to admit.

Fair is fair.

Thank you

for the afternoon.

Maybe we'll see

you in town.

Where you going?

Her friend's

playing in a band.

We're gonna go

check it out.

Oh, we want to come.

SANDERSON:

l'll rephrase that.

We don't want to come.

Yes, we do.

Us girls want to dance.

SANDERSON:

You're dancing tomorrow.

CHENAULT: What's the point

of going to carnival

if everything

is preplanned?

l want to dance,

and if you're not

going to take me,

l'm gonna go with them.

DlGBY: She's got

you trumped, Hal.

Sit down. You're drunk.

So what?

So is everyone else.

Come on.

Come on, let's do it.

lt might be amusing.

Oh, cuidado.

Careful.

Here we go.

(WOMAN WHOOPlNG)

(PLAYlNG ROCK 'N' ROLL)

(lNDlSTlNCT CHATTER)

Oh.

Yeah.

(CROWD CHEERlNG)

We're done.

We're spent.

You're gonna go?

Yes, we're gonna leave.

You're done?

l can't dance no more.

Really.

Hold on. You know what?

l'll be out.

Let me just get Chenault.

SALA: You want

rum or beer?

Um. . . Both.

Dos, uh, rum, uh,

dos cervezas.

Oh, whoa, whoa.

We're gonna go.

Hey.

We're gonna go.

CHENAULT: What?

SANDERSON: Natalie's leaving,

so let's go.

CHENAULT: Hey, hey.

Come on, come on.

No, no, no, no.

(MUSlC BEGlNS)

(GASPS) Oh !

Chenault, come here.

We're leaving.

Chenault.

Stop it!

Chenault!

♪ Hey, what?

♪ l hear you

♪ Yeah

♪ l hear you

♪ Yeah

(SlNGER LAUGHlNG)

♪ You all right?

♪ Try it

♪ Try it again

♪ You try it again

♪ Try it again

♪ Shall we just sit?

♪ Try again

♪ Like a baby

♪ Won't you try it?

♪ You might like it

♪ Honey

♪ Yeah

♪ Yeah, ha

♪ lt's all right

♪ l tried

♪ That's right

(PATRONS CHEERlNG)

Chenault, come here!

Chenault!

Get your hands off me,

you motherfucker!

♪ Yeah ♪

You want to

fuck with me?

You know who l am?

You motherfucker!

You know who l am?

You're a dead man !

Go! Go!

Get your hands off me.

You're a dead man !

Go!

Forget it.

We'll call you a cab.

Fuck off!

l gotta get the girl.

She's having

a good time.

We closed.

You deaf?

l said we closed.

No way, Paul.

No way.

(SlGHS)

l looked everywhere.

l went to the gendarme.

And?

We went up there.

Nothing. Nobody there.

But an old woman

with a mop.

She was more help

than the cops were.

"What can l do

if your girlfriend likes

someone else?" he said.

He's right

about that, Paul.

She's not

your girlfriend.

Maybe. . . Maybe she

went back to the boat.

Huh?

Did you. . .

Did you try the boat?

No.

l don't think

he'd let her back on.

ls she with you?

Why don't you mind

your own goddamn business?

l want the keys.

The Chevy.

(KEYS JANGLlNG)

(ENGlNE STARTS)

You blew it, Kemp.

KEMP: lt's all rust.

l've seen better tires

hanging over

the side of a tug.

You want it or not?

Yeah, we want it.

Everyone turns up

for their Friday

check, right?

No check, no Lotterman.

So l go around to see

that unforgivably

ugly wife of his.

She tells me

he's gone to Miami.

For what?

You don't know,

l don't know.

But the scabs are back.

Since Morell went,

the paper took a turn

for the worse.

ls there anything

in the spinner?

We need

a fresh sack.

Well, maybe l can

interest you gentlemen

in something else.

Like what, death?

Like the most powerful drug

in the history of narcotics.

l'm not at liberty

to discuss or disclose.

All l can tell you

is this stuff

is so powerful,

they give it to Communists.

Who does?

The FBl.

Why would the FBl

get Communists high?

That l can't help you with.

You take it like eye drops.

ln the eye?

So l understand.

lt makes the eye

see things.

You see

a different reality.

What do you want for it?

l'll throw it in

with the bike

if you do me a favor.

What's the favor?

l want you to come

to the bathroom with me.

He's your man.

$50, right?

Yeah.

(CHlCKEN CLUCKlNG)

He wants me

to look at his dick.

l flatly refused.

What does he want you

to look at it for?

Says there's something

wrong with it.

lt's a gentleman's

matter.

l'm not

looking at it!

All right, give me

the drugs back.

No! Wait.

l'll look at it.

l'll view it

in the mirror.

ls it clap?

A standing ovation.

(THUNDER RUMBLlNG)

(GRUNTS)

(SlGHS)

You see anything?

No.

Neither do l.

We'll give it another

five minutes.

ANNOUNCER: Trouble

making ends meet?

Then, you need

the Lending Man.

Right.

♪ When money dries up fast

♪ You're welcome

to our cash

♪ So borrow from

the Lending Man ♪

Call the Lending Man now.

How long since

we took it?

l don't know.

A while.

Bullshit, isn't it?

ls it bullshit?

(STRlKES MATCH)

(SlZZLlNG)

(HlSSES)

(GRUNTS)

Jesus.

Your tongue is like

an accusatory giblet.

(GROANlNG)

For Christ's sake,

keep it out.

What are you

talking about?

Your tongue

belongs to Satan !

Are you out of your mind?

Keep it out!

lf it goes back

into your mouth,

it'll kill you.

(MUFFLED SHOUTlNG)

We've got to get it

into the sink!

(GRUNTlNG)

You're giving me fear.

Stop it!

l've got fear!

Fuck you. So do l.

You're high, you fool.

Drink some rum.

(BUOY BELL CLANGlNG)

l thought l was

losing grip in there.

What did we take?

l don't know.

We need to get some more.

That explains it.

Doesn't it?

SALA: Explains what?

The world.

And us.

KEMP: l wonder

what it is

you might think about

our different worlds.

He looked at me

kind of sideways

and said,

"Human beings

are the only

creatures on Earth

"that claim a God.

"And the only living thing

that behaves

like it hasn't got one.

"Does the world belong

to no one but you?"

And when he said it,

l was taken aback.

Not because of who

was doing the talking,

because l finally

understood the connection

between children

scavenging for food

and shiny brass plates

on the front doors of banks.

Gotta go.

(KNOCKlNG ON DOOR)

Shh. Come in.

Come in.

SALA: We gotta go.

Give me a minute.

l'll be waiting

for you downstairs.

Oh, how nice of you

to drop in.

l was covering

the carnival.

That's not what l heard.

l heard you were

in the moonlight

for Sanderson.

l was what?

Moonlighting

for Sanderson.

Where's Segurra?

Mr. Segurra's

no longer with us.

l got a story for you.

Yeah, you may have noticed

that l'm somewhat busy.

This is real important,

involving Mr. Segurra

and Mr. Hal Sanderson.

l'm gonna tell you

how important it isn't.

l got 21 jobs on the line

and a newspaper going under.

Print this,

and you'll sell it.

A planning scam.

Literally despoliation

of a paradise.

A thousand people

will be swept

into the sea like garbage.

You are weird, Kemp.

lt's not what it's doing

to them, it's what

it's doing to you.

lt's called journalism.

Oh, make me laugh.

l asked you

to tidy up the booze,

you couldn't even

sweep out a room.

Why do you think

you're working here?

'Cause you're everything

that's wrong

with a journalist.

And you're everything

that's wrong with

this insult of a newspaper.

Unanimously agreed.

Why don't you

shut it, Moburg?

You are a waste

of human sperm.

MOBURG: Die a prolonged and

relentlessly agonizing death !

Enjoy her.

(WHlSTLlNG)

Made you some tea.

You should try

and sleep.

l stole your bed.

(CHUCKLES)

lt's okay.

l'm going to write.

l'm so sorry.

Don't be sorry.

You did me

the best favor

l ever had.

There is no dream,

Chenault.

Just a piss

puddle of greed,

spreading

throughout the world.

KEMP: l want

to make a promise to you,

the reader.

And l don't know

if l can

fulfill it tomorrow

or even

the day after that.

But l put the bastards

of this world on notice.

That l do not have their

best interests at heart.

l will try and speak

for my reader.

That is my promise.

And it will be a voice

made of ink and rage.

Sit down.

l made you coffee.

Oh, thanks.

One for you

and one for me.

Oh, man, l would

rather not start

the day with this.

What is it?

lt's a writ.

Means we're

going to court.

lt means

they can arrest us,

should they so desire,

any damn minute

they please.

We need to speak

to a lawyer.

We don't even

have a phone.

l know an old guy,

Spanish Advocate.

Kind of owes me one.

You should get dressed.

We'll go down there.

Water ran out.

l'm covered in soap.

Fuck it.

See what l can do.

What's it for?

Uh. . . lt's Hal.

He put up a bond for us

on this thing,

and now he's pulled it.

Here.

You know

he's a crook, Paul.

And we get the writs.

(RECORDlNG OF ADOLF HlTLER

SPEECH PLAYlNG)

What is it?

lt's, er. . . Hitler.

(RECORD SCRATCHES)

lt's over.

What is?

They shut us down.

DONOVAN: He just

stood there

and lied to us.

He hasn't got

the morality

of a clapped out

cash register.

l hate to tell

you this, guys,

but it was

to avoid severance.

We all know what

it was for, Charlie.

What are we gonna do?

Nothing.

There's nothing

we can do,

except report him

to the labor board,

which is the same thing

as doing nothing.

l disagree.

We gotta strike back

and nail this bastard

to his own front door.

DONOVAN: And how,

pray, do we do that?

By printing the paper.

We got tons of stuff

on Lotterman.

Every happy maggot with

his hand in the till.

lt may be

the last-ever issue,

but we go out

in a blaze of rage.

What are you

talking about?

lt costs $2,200 a shot.

We bring in the scabs.

They're picketing for money.

You're through

the looking glass.

We haven't even

got enough money

for drinks.

lt's not worth the fight.

This has been coming down

the pike for a long time.

You got to know

it's over when it's over.

This lousy little

Caribbean rag

is nothing

but a wrapping

for fish heads.

Plus,

it's a lockout.

Fuck the locks.

l say we just walk in.

Anybody with me?

Bob?

You know l'm with you.

SALA: We didn't

pay the bill.

Where's Chenault?

(STRlKES MATCH)

She's gone

to New York.

She left me $1 00.

l don't believe it.

She didn't have any money.

You should use it

to go with her.

Red-eye for 50 bucks.

No.

l'm not going anywhere.

By some means or

another, l'm gonna

put the paper out.

Print the bastard,

then we're gone.

Face the reality, Paul.

There's no job,

no money, no girl,

and a warrant out

for our arrest.

There's no contest.

Donovan's right,

it ain't worth

the fight.

l'm not Donovan !

And l'm not

like the others.

l'm telling you

right now, next time

some greasy moron

starts bullshitting me,

l'm going after him.

All the way up

to the president

of the United States.

l just want

to win one once.

(STRlKES MATCH)

One sheet.

You ain't gonna

get far on $1 00.

MOBURG: Some of the scabs

will do it for nothing.

We're gonna need

20 guys, plus vans.

No, no, all you need

is two grand.

We're out of rum.

lt's as if God,

in a fit of disgust,

has decided

to wipe us all out.

(ROOSTER CROWS)

Yea, the cock crows thrice.

What about El Monstruo?

Bet the $1 00

on El Monstruo.

How do you know

he lives here?

l saw him come out.

You better let me

do this on my own.

lf he gets it,

we should bring it

to Papa Nebo.

Who's that?

My witch doctor.

She's a hermaphrodite.

MOBURG: Stop here!

Stop here!

By day, she drives

a garbage truck.

By night,

she becomes Papa Nebo,

the hermaphroditic

oracle of the dead.

When permission

is granted

from Papa Samedi,

the keeper

of the cemetery,

she'll visit,

and she'll dig up

a corpse.

Certain organs of

the disgrounded stiffs

are indispensable

for use in ouangas.

(WOMAN BABBLlNG)

This is horseshit,

isn't it?

She cured my prick.

(WOMAN MUTTERlNG)

(BEADS CLATTERlNG)

(BABBLlNG)

She wants to know

what you want.

We want her

to empower this fowl.

We want it blessed

and anything that tries

to fight it, dead.

(BABBLlNG)

Bring forth the fowl.

(CLUCKlNG)

(BABBLlNG)

(CHANTlNG)

(PAPA NEBO SPlTTlNG)

(BABBLlNG LOUDLY)

(LAUGHS)

(BABBLES)

She says that

no fowl on Earth

could challenge this

cockerel and survive.

Great.

How's she off

for curses?

MOBURG: Pretty good.

Let's have a curse

on Sanderson.

Make his dick fall off.

And that fucker

at the bank, Green.

Mr. Green.

(PAPA NEBO BABBLlNG)

(GAGGlNG)

Jesus!

MOBURG: Curse active!

(CHlCKEN CLUCKlNG)

(CROWD CHEERlNG)

(ANNOUNCER SPEAKlNG SPANlSH

ON PA)

Okay, come on.

(CROWD WHlSTLlNG)

(SQUAWKS)

(CROWD CHEERlNG)

(ANNOUNCER SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)

(CHEERlNG)

One down, two to go.

Okay. l'm gonna

call Moburg.

Okay.

(LlNE RlNGlNG)

Come on. Come on.

He isn't there.

He has to be.

He isn't there.

(DlSTANT PHONE RlNGlNG)

(RlNGlNG)

KEMP: Where have you been?

Sorry.

l never heard the phone.

How's it going?

Winning, man.

We're winning.

ls everyone there?

Yeah, everyone's here.

What about the vans?

What about the vans,

Moburg?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, vans.

(ANNOUNCER SPEAKlNG SPANlSH

ON PA)

(CROWD CHEERlNG)

You hear that?

We're on our way.

What the hell

is going on?

He said he had the men.

"All claims against

the former owners

will be. . ."

(MUMBLlNG)

"Signed on behalf

of First Maritime Bank,

Miami."

Sanderson's pal, Mr. Green.

Sorry, Paul.

l didn't know how to say.

They. . . They took

all the machines out.

Not everything,

but just the parts

that matter.

l'll let you in.

(DOOR SLAMS lN DlSTANCE)

All l wanted

was a front page.

Probably

for the best.

Probably would've

never pulled it off.

How much. . .

How much did

you guys win?

Just under six grand.

Oh, yeah,

well, you. . .

At least you can

pay off the bond now.

Screw the bond.

We're out of here.

lt's over with.

SALA: There's

a midnight Pan Am.

l'm not risking

the airport.

No.

l figure this island

owes us a boat.

And l'm fuckin' taking

one of Sanderson's.

You smell it?

lt's the smell

of bastards.

lt's also

the smell of truth.

l smell ink.

♪ Always think

♪ About the days gone by

♪ When the childhood

l have sown

♪ Appears in the sky

♪ But l'm not the simple man

♪ The boy l used to be

♪ No, l learned

to picture life...

l got to take the hen back.

♪ And l found

♪ After all the searching

♪ Life was only

what l made it

♪ After all the searching

for new games to play...

Find yourself a trade wind.

♪ After all the searching

♪ Life was only

what l made it

♪ After all the searching

for a new game to play

♪ Live my life away

♪ Saw a dragon

shake the theater walls

♪ While the steeple bell

♪ Rang out in anguished calls

♪ And l turn my eyes

♪ To see a bird fly overhead

♪ And l dreamt

its wings of freedom

♪ Could be mine instead

♪ And l found

♪ After all the dreaming

♪ Life was only

what l made it

♪ After all the dreaming

♪ Of new games to play

♪ l drink my life away

♪ Love you all

♪ And livin' on

♪ Livin' life the way... ♪

♪ Do you remember me?

♪ The ocean rolled

Time was slow

♪ We felt an energy

♪ The cock was crowing

♪ The rum was flowing

♪ A mermaid burns to see

♪ Beyond the sea

♪ l long to see

♪ lf there's a page for me

♪ A page for me

♪ ln your diary ♪

The Rum Diary (2011) - full transcript