The Rookie Bear (1941) - full transcript
In a humorous report, "Strife" magazine follows a bear who gets drafted and goes through the rigors of Army basic training.
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)
Uncle Sam's
gigantic defence program
getting well under way.
This week,
the editors of "Strife"
your weekly news magazine
review the many steps necessary
in the making of a soldier.
"Strife" barges on
and on October 29th, 1940
the draft numbers
are drawn from that
now famous goldfish bowl.
And as the drawing continues
"Strife" magazine
is proud to present
the first one to feel
the full effects of the draft.
"Strife" barges on.
And following up
the next number drawn.
O-O.
We find that it's Mr. Bear
of the Big North Woods.
And his present occupation
is hibernating.
[snoring]
[instrumental music]
Ah!
[knocking on door]
ring
creak
clang clang clang
honk
Telegram.
♪ You're in the army now
you're not behind a plow ♪
♪ You'll never get rich ♪
♪ You're in the army now ♪
click click click
vroom
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)
Yes, sir.
Very special accommodations.
But then,
all the accommodations here
are of the very best.
All the modern conveniences,
such as stall showers.
[horse neighing]
And of course,
plenty of good
old-fashioned home cooking.
But we'd better hurry
over to the gate.
Because here comes
that lucky winner.
All set for that
nice, long vacation.
He's gonna have a swell time.
[machine gun firing]
Yes, sir.
boom boom boom
[machine gun firing]
[instrumental music]
boom boom boom
And now that he's
made up his mind
to join the army.
The rookie must first answer
a few simple questions.
(male # 1)
'Okay, buddy, what's your name?'
[indistinct chattering]
(male narrator)
Next, you must be
photographed or shot..
poof poof poof
...in four poses.
Right and left profile,
front view and behind.
And now, for that all important
physical examination.
As you can see,
old Browan is not average.
No, sir, he's perfect.
What a figure! What a..
boing boing
What a bust.
Flat feet like these..
...used to be
sure-fire exemption.
But not anymore.
Good teeth are important.
And with the aid
of modern X-ray..
crackle crackle crackle
...each tooth
is carefully examined
for any sign of cavities.
Ah, there's a dandy.
And look at this one.
Fixing teeth like these
is a major project.
[whirring]
And sometimes, a little
bridge work is necessary.
And now,
with the examination over
he gets that final okay..
...in the end.
Happy?
Yes, sir, because now
he gets that new uniform
and a gun.
Besides all of this
regulation equipment
he gets a gas mask..
...which is thoroughly tested.
[instrumental music]
And these little wedgies
are really built for service.
Because the first step
in the rookie's training is..
(male #2)
'Left, right, left, right.'
(male narrator)
Yes, marching.
Marching mile
after mile everyday
with full military equipment
and a full regulation pack.
Three miles. Four miles.
Five miles,
under a hot, blazing sun.
Six, seven, eight, nine
ten miles and he's tired.
Yes, and his dogs
are tired, too.
[panting]
A short rest
and it's forward march again.
And now, those dogs
really begin to bark.
woof woof woof
woof woof woof
Pretty soon
they feel just like..
Yes, hotdogs.
And they're getting hotter.
And hotter, and hotter.
And if that rookie's
got any corns
they're gonna pop.
And there they go!
[popping]
snap
ting
[fire crackling]
[instrumental music]
[exhaling deeply]
[groaning]
[knocking on door]
creak
Telegram.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)
Uncle Sam's
gigantic defence program
getting well under way.
This week,
the editors of "Strife"
your weekly news magazine
review the many steps necessary
in the making of a soldier.
"Strife" barges on
and on October 29th, 1940
the draft numbers
are drawn from that
now famous goldfish bowl.
And as the drawing continues
"Strife" magazine
is proud to present
the first one to feel
the full effects of the draft.
"Strife" barges on.
And following up
the next number drawn.
O-O.
We find that it's Mr. Bear
of the Big North Woods.
And his present occupation
is hibernating.
[snoring]
[instrumental music]
Ah!
[knocking on door]
ring
creak
clang clang clang
honk
Telegram.
♪ You're in the army now
you're not behind a plow ♪
♪ You'll never get rich ♪
♪ You're in the army now ♪
click click click
vroom
[instrumental music]
(male narrator)
Yes, sir.
Very special accommodations.
But then,
all the accommodations here
are of the very best.
All the modern conveniences,
such as stall showers.
[horse neighing]
And of course,
plenty of good
old-fashioned home cooking.
But we'd better hurry
over to the gate.
Because here comes
that lucky winner.
All set for that
nice, long vacation.
He's gonna have a swell time.
[machine gun firing]
Yes, sir.
boom boom boom
[machine gun firing]
[instrumental music]
boom boom boom
And now that he's
made up his mind
to join the army.
The rookie must first answer
a few simple questions.
(male # 1)
'Okay, buddy, what's your name?'
[indistinct chattering]
(male narrator)
Next, you must be
photographed or shot..
poof poof poof
...in four poses.
Right and left profile,
front view and behind.
And now, for that all important
physical examination.
As you can see,
old Browan is not average.
No, sir, he's perfect.
What a figure! What a..
boing boing
What a bust.
Flat feet like these..
...used to be
sure-fire exemption.
But not anymore.
Good teeth are important.
And with the aid
of modern X-ray..
crackle crackle crackle
...each tooth
is carefully examined
for any sign of cavities.
Ah, there's a dandy.
And look at this one.
Fixing teeth like these
is a major project.
[whirring]
And sometimes, a little
bridge work is necessary.
And now,
with the examination over
he gets that final okay..
...in the end.
Happy?
Yes, sir, because now
he gets that new uniform
and a gun.
Besides all of this
regulation equipment
he gets a gas mask..
...which is thoroughly tested.
[instrumental music]
And these little wedgies
are really built for service.
Because the first step
in the rookie's training is..
(male #2)
'Left, right, left, right.'
(male narrator)
Yes, marching.
Marching mile
after mile everyday
with full military equipment
and a full regulation pack.
Three miles. Four miles.
Five miles,
under a hot, blazing sun.
Six, seven, eight, nine
ten miles and he's tired.
Yes, and his dogs
are tired, too.
[panting]
A short rest
and it's forward march again.
And now, those dogs
really begin to bark.
woof woof woof
woof woof woof
Pretty soon
they feel just like..
Yes, hotdogs.
And they're getting hotter.
And hotter, and hotter.
And if that rookie's
got any corns
they're gonna pop.
And there they go!
[popping]
snap
ting
[fire crackling]
[instrumental music]
[exhaling deeply]
[groaning]
[knocking on door]
creak
Telegram.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]