The Road to Christmas (2006) - full transcript

Love it! Love it!

Wait, wait,that's it!

Stand up, all together.

I don't want you togo.

It's only for four daysClaireand then we'll be married.

Why can't we justelope tonight?

Claire, I make a beautifulwedding for you,

and besides you have to work.

I'll quit.

You?

I don't think so.



I feel terrible.You're stuck handlingthe

wedding arrangementsall by yourself.

It is perfect.

It is exactly whyI have Michele.

He and I willtake care of everything.

So call me as soonas you get toAspen.

The second my planetouches the ground.

You have your phone?

Oh not again!

I must have leftit by your bed.

Oh, you did.

What did I dobefore you, huh?

I don't evenwant to know.

Lorenzo...



Excuse me...

We must go or wewill miss the plane.

Do not worrysenorina, I promise,

your wedding willbe magnifico.

Why can't we fly?

Because, drivingis more fun.

Did you bringToby's leash?

Not to me.

It's boring.

Then read a book.

There is no excuseto be bored - ever.

Can't we flyjust once?

Kelly driving to Grandma'sis a Christmas tradition.

Done it every year sincebefore you were born.

It always sucks.

You're psyched for a roadtrip aren't you Toby?

Aren't you buddy?

We're off on anothergrand adventure!

Right.

What's thisgeezer music?

from this century.Fine, you're the deejay.

Thank you.

Dad stop it.

I'm gettin' down!

If you keep doing thatI'm going to get out.

What?

Dad, stop.

Pow!

Stop! You're not cool!

If you can't take alittle funky stuff,

I don't know what's up.

Getting nervous?

Not nervous exactly, morelike excited, and nervous.

I shouldn't eat that ...

I feel bloated.

Do I look bloated to you?

N'naa, you've hadlike three olives,

I don't think thatwould cause bloat.

No, but are yousure?

I feel enormous.

You're a freak.

Okay, okay.

So you're good?

No reservations?

Why do you think I shouldbe having reservations?

No, of course not,not at all.

Seems a littlequick though.

N'naa, I've knownhim for years.

Yeah, but you onlygot nasty of late.

Oh please!

And then there'sthe Italianthing.

What Italian thing?

Come on Claire everyone knowsItalian men love women,

lots of women.

That's ridiculous.

That's like me sayingbecause you're black

you must lovewatermelon.

I do love watermelon.

It's about the onlything I can eat...

Oh that's not thepoint and you know it.

You just don't like Lorenzo.

Oh that is so nottrue.

I love Lorenzo, Ido.

He's smart, funny...

considerate...

gorgeous and on top ofall of that he's richtoo.

This is man isperfection in pants.

Oh I get it,you're jealous.

Claire, it's just alittle surprising.

N'naa, I love him.

He's the one.

Be happy for me.

I am. Come here.

Miss Jameson, foryou...

And who arethose from?

I miss you already,Lorenzo.

Okay, I'mjealous.

This is not apromising start.

What are youtalking about.

It's a minorsetback.

I told you weshould have flown.

Okay, hit the gas.

This is some adventure Dad!

Okay cut it, I thinkI see what's wrong.

Oh hey Mike.

Saw your wife at pilates.

Enjoy your lunch.

Orchids? Really?

Si, Michele found them.

Oh I thought weagreed on roses.

You'll love them.

They're sexy andexotic just like you.

How am I going toargue with that?

Bravo.

I'll order them today.

God, I miss you.

Wish I was there.

Soon.

Amore mia.

Amore mio.

A Christmas wedding,that is so romantic.

It's Christmas Eveactually.

His idea.

Well no coal in yourstocking this year, right?

Has this guygot a brother?

No, unfortunately,just sisters.

Just my luck.

So he is from Colorado.

No, no.

He just vacations there.

He owns this beautifulchalet in Aspen.

Oh, now we'retalking... Aspen?

Oh he was born in Italy.

Oh.

Something wrong with that?

No, no, no, no.

Italy's a beautiful country.

It sure is.

Yeah, and they havereallygreat food, I hear.

The best.

Italians...

Yeah...

What do you mean?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

No. What?

It's...

I dated an Italianguy once...

and he dumped mefor my best friend

and then he turned aroundand married her sister

and I heard he evenslept with the mother.

Well that's a terrible story.

Tell me about it.

But what does that haveto do with my fiancé?

Nothing. Nothing.

Your fiancé isprobably a great guy.

Hello.

Oh hi Tracy, what's up?

You're kidding!

Thank you!

No, thank you.

Oh you just made my day.

And a merry Christmas to you.

Good news!The best.

My shoot was cancelled andnow I can go to Aspen

a couple of days earlyand surprise Lorenzo.

He loves surprises.

Yeah, so did mine.

I found him this one time--Are done here?

Yeah we're done.

You have a weddingto go to!

Damn.

What's happening?

Nothing Honey,go back to sleep.

Just another minor setback.

Well it's a cinch to fix butI just don't have the part.

I can send a guy to Omahatomorrow to get it.

I guess that'swhat we'll do then.

Any place to stay around here?

Just the Ritz upthe street there.

Yup, there's avacancy, as usual.

Another adventure. Great.

So glad we didn't fly,this is much more fun.

What'd I tell you.

You're in luck.We just had a cancellation

and believe me there arenotvery many of those to behad.

Great, I'll take it.

It's a middleseat in coach.

Oh, there's nothingin business seating?

It is a miracle we even havethis with the holidays.

Fine, I'll take it.

What time does it get me in?

You should be inAspen by latemorning.

Barring any unforseen delays,of course.

Not going to happen.

This is my luckyday, I can feel it.

Oh!Excuse me.

Watch it lady,those shoes arenew.

Sorry.

Sorry...

Hi.

Hi.

I'm Enid.

Don't you just lovetraveling, it's so exciting.

Are you goingskiing at Aspen?

No.

Well, maybe...

Actually I'm getting married.

Oh, married.

Oh my isn't that nice.

Now me, I've doneit six times.

My first husband'sname was Lester.

And my second one...let's not mention him.

And then one day...

Do you want toeat over there?

Or can you waituntil Omaha?

Ew. Let's wait.

Deal.

...it was the worstday of my life.

On my way home fromCecil's funeral,

oh God rest his soul,

I got rear-endedby Norm.

Go figure it.

That was him.Look at those muscles.

Oh.

Oh he was as dumb as a stickbut a real bobcat in thesack.

Ladies and gentlemen, this isyour second officer speaking.

We're having sometechnical difficulties

and we're going to bediverting our flight

to Omaha today.

What?

We expect to be at the gatein Omaha in 15 minutes.

Omaha is near Aspen right?

Um...

I'm not sure.

Oh, I was dreaming lady.

Cheerleaders everywhere.

You wrecked it.

Next!

No, it's still my turn.

It's still my turn.

You don't understand.

I have to get to Aspen.

I'm getting marriedin three days.

I do understand but allof our flights today

are booked solid.

What about tomorrow?

Same thing.

I can wait listyou if you like.

There must be some wayto get there, I mean...

oh, I know, I'll drive.

Good luck.

You won't find a rentalcar this time of year.

Look, the best thingthat we can offer you

is a returnflight to Chicago.

No I am not going back.

Is there a bus?

There must bea bus station.

Well yes, but it's half way...

May I have theaddress please?

Thank you so muchand Merry Christmas.

Ho, ho, ho.

Thank you ma'am.

Merry Christmas.

What's good?

Nothing.

Ladies and gents

we're just getting thelate bags onto the bus,

we'll be on our way to Lincolnin just a few minutes...

Nice and cozy eh?

Yes.

Care for a swig?

No, it's againstmy religion.

Amen!

Ladies and gents,this is Lincoln.

We have a stationstop for ten minutes.

That last step's a doozey.

Oh, hey, hey.

Ow.

Hey there, hey you okay?

Yes, I think so.

Oh my, my hair is going toget ruined in this rain.

Hey, hey, hey, have Igot the thing for you.

Oh, oh.

Try it, try it,it will work.

Hey.

Thank you.

Do you know where Iget the bus to Aspen?

Aspen?

There ain't nobus to Aspen,

you got to goout of Wichita.

But they told me in Omaha...

oh never mind.

Do you know what time thebus leaves for Wichita?

I think there'sone at midnight.

Midnight?

I can't wait that long.

I have to get to Aspen.

What am I gonna do?

I don't know.

Excuse me, I am verysorry, very sorry,

but I am hearing that you arelooking for a ride to Aspen,

yes?

Oh yes, are you going there?

No, but veryclose, very close.

Denver.

Close is good enough.

Could you give me a ride?

It would be givingme much pleasure.

Thank you, thank you.

Good Lord.

Come, please.

How cozy,

sort of like a campfire,

with no hotdogs...

...or fire.

It's kind ofchilly in here, huh?

I don't suppose one ofyou has an extra jacket?

Yes, please.

I have worn that since I leftmy country ten months ago.

Warm, very warm.

Thank you, thank you.

It is giving me much pleasure.

I'll just put this on too.

I'm Claire Jamesonby the way.

And you are?

Tiny Snoates

Oh, obviously anironical nick name.

What do you mean?

It's my Grandmother's name.

Your grandmother'sname was Tiny?

Hell no, my grandmother'sname was Snoates.

Right. Yeah.

And you are?

I'm Cootie Dumar.

Wow!

Brutal!

You must have beentormented in grade school.

Why do you say that?

Because of cooties,you know...

surely you've not sayingyou've never heard of...

I love the matching outfits.

What's so special aboutBenny's Buns anyway?

Well last year a guy gotone that looked exactly

like Mother Theresa.

Come on!

You think I'm kidding?

I heard they got a shrineover near Lincoln.

That better not be whywe drove two hours

out of our way.

It's not.

Oh, oh wow.

Excuse me?

This is the best thingI've ever had in my life.

Can't get that inan airplane can you?

We have to move here so wecan have these all the time.

Play your cards rightI might even take you

to the InternationalHub Cap Museum.

You'd like thatwouldn't you?

Oh yes I would.

Okay, that's weird.

No, no, not you Operator,

the town is called Ogalala,

if you can believe that.

Okay I need a pen,

do you have anythingI can write with?

Would you mind not smoking,I'm really allergic.

Thanks.

There has to be acar rental place.

What kind of a city doesn'thave a Hertz or something?

Please check again.

This idiot is telling me thatthere is no car rental agency

in Ogalala.

I mean whereare we, Mars?

Pronto.

Oh Lorenzo, it's sogood to hear your voice.

Ah Claire, I am soglad you called.

We've decided on the theme.

A theme?

It's going to be aVenetian Masked Ball.

Our wedding?

Si, isn't that amazing?

Wow, it seems like a lot toorganize in only three days.

Oh Michele hasit all, the mask,

the waiter costume,

little gondolas,

You love it?

Uh, no, I don't.

You don't?

I guess I was justpicturing something

a little less 'fantastico'.

It's going to bebeautiful Claire,

very elegant and Italian.

Can I have a hotwater with lemon, please?

Let me email you a picture.

Um, you know, I am justup to my ears on this shoot

just now, so I tell youwhat, if you like it,

I'm sure it will be wonderful.

Okay here we are,hot water andlemon.

Yeah.

Hey, what are you doing?You can't do that.

Claire what's happening?

I got to run!Model vomiting!

You can't do this,oh please, oh god...

Don't forget your bags!

Are you okay?

Why would you ask that?

Well, for starters those guysjust threw your suitcase

off the back oftheir truck.

Oh yeah, that.

Dad, that's thewoman.

What woman?

The one I've beenseeingeverywhere.

I have no idea whatyou're talking about.

Come on let's help her.

Can we help?

No I'm fine.

No problem, I've goteverything under control.

No problem.

Can you please notfondle my underwear?

I wasn't fondling it,I was looking at it.

Well how would you feel ifI fondled your underwear?

Whatever makes you happy.

Can we give youa ride somewhere?

Not unless you'regoing to Aspen.

We're not.

I didn't think so.

We're going to Vale.

You are, really?

Well that's nearAspen right?

Ah, sort of.

Do you think I could catcha ride with you guys?

There's not muchroom in our truck.

Oh please,please.

I'll do anything.

I'll pay for gas, forfood,I mean really anything.

I'll buy youChristmaspresents.

I just got to getout of this place.

What, and leavebeautiful Ogalala?

Please I'm desperate.

I'm gettingmarried on Sunday...

and I'm really aniceperson, really I am.

I can give you references.

Today has just beena total disaster.

I've been on a plane, a bus,a truck and now of course

there's no rental caragency in this city,

and my cell phonebattery is getting low,

and I just...please...

just look at me.

Please.

Guess we should beproperlyintroduced.

I'm Tom Pullman andthisis my daughterHillary.

Hilly.

You're name soundsso familiar.

Have we met before?

I don't think so.

You sure?

I'd remember.

And you are?

Oh I'm sorry,I'm Clare Jameson.

About ready dear?

We should get going.

Okay, I guessit's hopeless anyhow.

Do you mind ifI plug this in?

Sorry, the lighterdoesn't work.

It doesn't?

Oh man, my batteryis almost out.

Don't worry, that thingprobably won't work

out here anyway.

Don't be silly, there'sreception everywhere.

Wait a minute...

those no signal,I have no bars.

Told you.

But you don't understand, Ihave wedding plans to make;

I have to call my office.

I can't afford tobe out of contact.

What do you wantme to do about it?

I don't know, don't you havea CB radio or something?

Roger that,no Big Mama.

Sorry, they didn't teachtrucker in my high school.

I'm sure they didn't.

Oh hell!

I think I have aflat.

Oh come on.

Everybody out.

You almost done?

I really do needto use the phone.

There's a town up ahead;

we can stop thereif you really have to.

I do, I really, really do.

Where are we anyhow,should we be on a highway?

This is a more direct route,

besides you see more of thecountry on the back roads.

Oh I've seen enough of thecountry in the last 2 days

to last me a lifetime.

Give mecivilizationany day.

You can have it.

So you're getting married?

Christmas Eve.

That is so cool.

Isn't that cool?

Way cool.

So what's your husband,

I mean the guyyou're marrying, like?

He's funny andsmart and he adores me.

So romantic.

What's he do?

He owns a cablecompany in Italy.

He's Italian?

Yeah.

Oh.

What do you mean 'oh'?

Nothing, just oh,like uh huh.

Are you sure?Yes.

Geez lady it wasan exclamation,

not an editorial comment.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'mjust a little sensitive

on the subject lately becauseeveryone I talk to seems to

have this attitudeabout Italians.

You saying my daughter'santi-Italian?

I like Italians.

No, I'm sureyou do...

I'm sure she does.

I'm sorry, forget it.

I'm really sorry.

I'm sorry.

Hey Dad, I'm gonnatake Toby for a walk.

No!

Okay honey, don't betoo long okay, okay?

Want to go for a walk?

Good boy.

Oh, no thank youI'm not eating.

I'd just likea double latte.

With or without soy milk?

Regular milk is fine.

He's kidding.

Oh you don't have soy milk?

We don't have lattes either.

Just regular oldfashioned coffee.

What blend?

Folgers.

Well I guess that'swhat I'm having.

Make that two.

This certainly is rustic;

sort of early faux dive.

Nothing faux about it.

Oh this cream looks likeit's older than I am.

That old huh?

Funny.

Could we justhavesome fresh cream?

Sure.

There you go.

If you're really hungry I'vegot some fresh baked scones.

Oh, you do?

No.

Everybody's a comedian.

Dad, dad,Toby ran away!

What are you talking about?

He went after a rabbit and Icouldn't hold on to his leash.

Oh geez.

Come on we've gotto find the dog.

He'll come back won't he?

I don't know, he goesa little brain dead

when he's chasing rabbits.

He could be in Wyoming by now.

We'll have more luck ifall three of us look.

Come on.

Sure.

Come on.

Toby!

Come on!

Nice doggy,come on,

I've got awedding to go to.

Please don't do this to me.

Come on.

Doggie!

Come on boy.

Toby!

Doggie!oh doggie.

Toby...

He's lost.

We'll find him.

But how canyou be sure?

It's just am.

Don't you have a dogwhistle or something?

If he's notcomingwhen we call,

then what goodwoulda dog whistle do?

I don't know I was justthinking out loud here.

Well don't.

What happens ifwe don't find him?

We're not leavinghere until we do.

Are you suggesting thatwe stay here over night?

We don't havemuch choice.

There's a motel overnext to the restaurant,

we'll stay there.

But I have to get to Aspen.

Look lady, it's not myfault the dog ran away.

Are you blaming me?

Yeah, as a matterof fact I am.

If it wasn't for you we neverwould have stopped here.

That's just great!

Fine, go ahead, blame me,

but I'm not staying inthis God-forsaken place.

Then get another ride'cause we're not leaving.

Fine, I will.

Whoa!

Oh my goodness.

Stop it.

Yeah, hardy har, har.

Help me out of here.

The last step'sa doozey.

So much for my winter white.

You look fine.

I do?

No.

You're a mess.

And Doby'sstill missing.

Toby.

Whatever.

Come on, we should get youinside before you freeze.

This is all you have?

Well the other 7 units areall tore up for repairs.

You should comeback this summer,

we're putting in a sauna.

Oh like a Siouxsweat lodge?

Hell no.

Swedish sauna.

Oh, this place isgoing to look great.

DSL, games room andan espresso machine.

It's gonna be sweet.

But you must have someplaceelse where one person

could sleep.

Could sleep in oneof the other rooms;

got no windows yet.

Be pretty cold.

But there are only2 beds in here.

I'll get a rollaway.

Dad, I think somethingjust ran under the bed.

Probably a mouse.

A mouse?

Or a rat.

A rat?

Yeah.

Here we go.

That was fast.

Do you know that you have aninfestation of mice or rats?

Sure do.

Don't worry though,they're friendly.

Snug as three bugs in a rug.

Well it certainly is cozy.

Well I'll letyou get settled.

If you need anythingelse the name's Chaba.

I'll let you settleup in the morning.

Thank you.

I told you threetimes

the dress needs tobe Aspen by the23rd.

Yeah, you do that.

Don't worry, I'm sureyour dad will find him.

How do you know?

He just strikesmeas the kind ofguy

who's not gonnaquit until he does.

So tell me somethingabout yourself.

What do you want to know?

I don't know.

What grade are you in?

Eight.

Do you like it?

It sucks.

Yeah 8th grade does suck.

I was a whale in 8th grade.

No way, you're like a stick.

Trust me I was a total,I was a total whale.

My nickname wasMoby

and it was not inhonor of thesinger.

I find thathard to believe.

So where's your momspending Christmas?

Bad question?

No.

Yeah, it's prettyhard to talk about it.

I'm sorry, forget I asked.

She's dead.

Oh Hilly, I'm sosorry, I didn't know.

It's okay.

I'm used to it.

There's no way youcould have known.

When did she die?

When I was little, rightbefore I turned two.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah me too.

It would have beennice to know her.

I don't everreally remember her.

It's really hard.

You have no idea.

Yeah I do.

My mom diedwhen I was seven.

Then you understand.

Yeah, I do.

Did you find him?

I'm sorry honey, no.

Don't worrywe'll find him.

There's nothing morewe can do tonight.

How long has shebeen in there?

I don't know,a while.

Wish she'd hurry up.

I need to usethe facilities.

You're a guy.

Go outside.

Yeah the shoot'sgoing really great.

We should be wrappedright on schedule, yeah.

How about you,how's it all going?

Ah, the masksheld up at customs,

the ice sculptorhas the flu

and we're running out of time.

Are you havingsecond thoughts?

Second thoughts, Claire,no I love you.

I just hope we madethe right decision.

I was talking aboutthe Venetian thing.

Oh.

What's going on Lorenzo?

Is something wrong?

No, no, it's nothing.

Well whatever it is,you can tell me.

Forgive me Cara it'sbeen a long day.

I'm very tired;let's talk tomorrow.

I love you.

I love you too.

Toby!

Good boy Toby.

Toby, silly boy.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Dad, dad, get up!

Toby's back!

Toby, Toby,where'dyou go buddy?

Oh!

Toby!

Oh, we're family again.

Dad, what are you doing?

Huh?

You're driving past it.

Yeah well, we lost a lotof time back there and...

It's the InternationalHubcap Museum.

How can you callthis an adventure

if you're just going to drivepast something like that?

Fine go.

You think I want to bethe one to deprive her

of an educationalopportunity like that?

This is thelargestcollection

west of theMississippi.

How do you know that?

It was on a signwhen we came in.

Hi.

I got you guys these.

What are they?

Deep fried Twinkies.

Apparently they're thespecialty du maison.

Thanks.You not having one?

Oh no, I nevertouch fried foods.

I do.

Wow, it's good.

I think it just tooka month off my life.

And I got a corn dogfor Tony...

Toby.

That's the one.

So are we almostdone here?

Just about.

Ah, now there'sa beaut.

It's gonna be yourclassic Buick.

What are you, somekind of car aficionado?

No, not really but I mean,

what can I tell you?

A classic is a classic

and that's a classic.

You know that looks a lotlike a Studebaker to me.

What, that one?

Yeah.

No, not a chance.

Five bucks.

You're on.

Yeah, she'sright,52 Studebaker.

Buy yourself a razor.

That's funny.

I'm gonna waitin the truck.

Me too.

Damn.

See, it hardly costus any time at all.

Oh, oh.

That can'tbe good.

Can you fix it?

Yeah, I think it'sjust a bad spark plug.

So Hilly told meabout your wife.

She did?

Yeah.

It must have been hard.

Sorry, it's noneof my business.

I shouldn't havebrought it up.

It's fine.

I'm just surprisedshe told you.

It's not somethingshe talks about.

She's a sweet kid.

Isn't she great?

Yeah well she'sgot a great dad.

Oh my god!

Oh my god, are you okay?

Let me see, let me see.

Oh, you already have a bump.

It's fine.It's nothing.

I'm all right.

Are you okay dad?

Yeah, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Let me just clean upthese spark plugs

so we can get backon the road, okay.

Oh!!

I'm sorry, areyou all right?

It's your lip.

It's no biggy,it's my lip.

You all right?

Are you sure?

Here, wait.

Let me just...

okay you got a little cuton the inside of your lip.

Oh, my lip is bleeding.

Yeah, it's just a littlecut on the inside.

I need a bandaid.

You can't use aband aid on a lip.

Hold this on there,keeps the pressure.

Well we're some pair.

It's the gang whocouldn't shoot straight.

I'm gonna tryto fix this now.

For your own protection juststep away from the vehicle.

What are youdoing?

I'm going to ask herif she needs a ride.

Do we have room?

We'll make room.

Hi there, can wegive you a ride?

That'd be great.

My distributor is shot.

It's too damncoldfor car trouble.

Tell me about it.

How far yougoing?

Just to my brother's aboutten miles up the road.

Going there for Christmas?

Christmas, no.

He got a brand new HD TV

and we're gonna watch theCamacho-Ferraro figh.

Oh.

Your daughter isvery beautiful.

Actually she'snot my daughter.

She's my friend.

That's funny, I wassure she was yours.

Sure we can't take you there?

Oh no, that's fine.

My brother just livesa quarter of a mile

up this road.

Okay.

It's been nice witha couple of people

who are so obviouslyin love.

Makes me feelall Christmassy.

Oh no, actually we...

we barely know each other.

We just met yesterday.

Really?

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

So what do you do?

I'm aphotographer.

Really?What kind?

Mainly fashion.

That is so cool.

Also do somecelebrity shoots.

Really, like who?

A lot of people,mainly musicians.

I shot Avril Lavigneand Joss Stone

when theywere in Chicago.

Wow.

And one time I did ashot of Johnny Cash.

Get out.

You shotJohnny Cash?

I love JohnnyCash.

He was amazing.

Wow, that'simpressive.

I've been pretty lucky.

I've met someinteresting people.

I've seen someamazing places.

Still, it's not exactlywhat I saw myself doing

when I started out.

What do you mean?

Well, you know whenI began my career

I wanted to be thenext Diane Arbus.

Who's that?

A greatphotographer.

She did these hauntingportraits of misfits

and outsiders.

You know Diane Arbus's work?

Yeah, contraryto appearances,

I'm not a completeidiot.

No one said you were.

I like a lotof photographers.

I like Adams, Edward Weston,

I love Mary Ellen Mark.

Oh, I'm surprised.

Yeah well,

I'm a man ofmany surprises.

Whatever.

Wow this is so cool.

It's a Leica.

Can you take a pictureof me and my dad?

Sure.

Can I have anice face please?

One more.

That's a nice one.

Oh, oh!

Wow, I didn't know I couldget reception out here.

Wow, I'm surprised.

Hello?

Lorenzo... hello...

Hello?

Damn I lost the signal again.

Can you back up?

I'd really rather not.

Oh look this couldbe important.

It'll just takea second, please.

I don't thinkthat's a good idea.

Please?

Okay, but just for a minute.

We're really takingour chances here.

Okay, I'll be quick, I'lljust find the signal.

No bars, no bars.

oh, one bar,

Go that way, that way,

no bars again, wait, onebar, one bar, a little more,

little more, ohI got two bars...

I got nothing, I gotnothing, I got nothing.

Oh god, I got nothing!

Will you stopyelling at me?

What are you doing?

I'm trying to findyou reception.

You're doing a terrible job.

Do you want to drive?

Oh no!What's wrong?

We're stuck.

Can't you put it in fourwheel drive or something?

I don't have four wheel drive.

Who doesn't have four wheeldrive these days?

I don't, it's an old truck.

Ow!

Can you get out?

No we can't get out.

Why'd you backinto this ditch?

Do you think I meant to?

This is all because of youand that stupid cell phone.

Give it to me.

No. No, you're justgoing to break it.

You got that right.

Will you two stop it?

Okay, so what do we do?

Well, we don't havea lot of options.

We can stay here and wait forsomeone to give us a tow...

We haven't seen anothercar on the road

in the last two hours.

Or we can walk out.

Oh, you've got to be kidding.

You got a better idea?

What about helicopter rescue?

Are you crazy?

What about the Mounties?

I think they're in Canada.

Well, is that far away?

Hello?

Okay forget aboutthe Mounties,

why don't we send up a flare?

What good would that do?

It might attractthe attention

of a St. Bernardor something.

What, do you think there'sarmies of St. Bernards

roaming themountainsides

waiting to rescuestranded motorists?

Okay forget aboutthe St. Bernard.

You're Grizzly Adams,you think of something.

Why would you call me that?

I am nothing likeGrizzly Adams.

Okay forget it.

I'm sorry I said anything.

I just find it hard tobelieve that this is

the only option for us,to walk out.

Think of it as one oflife's little adventures.

We're in themiddle of nowhere.

Actually,that's not true.

My mom's place is just10 miles up the road.

If we start walking now wecan probably make it

before nightfall.

Walk?

We'll freeze todeath.

I've got an extra pair oflong johns here in my bag.

Oh, you're not Grizzly Adams?

Got to be preparedfor all possibilities.

I have never metanyone

who carried a second setof long johns.

You never met my dad.

Here, I hope they fit.

Where do I change?

Jack ass.

Take this too, here.

Is everybody ready?

Yup.

Let's go.

Mush!

What?

Is that what you say?

That's witha dog sled.

Oh, well what do yousay when you're hiking?

I don't know, 'mush' soundspretty good to me.

Mush!

Come on boy, mush!

Well there you are!

I was beginning to thinkyou wouldn't make it.

Where's your truck?

Long story.

I'll tell you later.

Come in.

This is about the bestChristmas present I could get.

Hi grandma.

Hello there.

Look at you, you're gonnabe taller than me soon.

I hope so.

I don't believewe've met.

Ma, this isClaire Jameson.

My mother,Rheduel Pullman.

Well welcome.

Just call me Sasquash.

Well you do looka little scary.

Come in, come in.

We'll get youall warmed up.

So, the fella's Italian?

Yeah.

You gotta watch out forthose Latin lover types.

They've got a girlat every court.

Not Lorenzo.

He never evenlooksat another woman.

Mhm.

Well for yoursake I hope not.

So his name's Lorenzo?

Yeah.

So what's that,like Larry?

Yeah, well actually Lawrence.

Same difference.

So when's this weddingsupposed to take place?

In two days,

on Christmas Evein Aspen.

Good luck getting there.

The pass is closed.

Big slide.

They've been working onclearing it for days.

Are you telling methat I'm stranded.

Oh cheer up, you'llget there eventually.

They're clearing thehighway as we speak.

Don't worry.I'll get Mack Owen to tow

my truck in the morning.I'll drive you there as soon

as the road's cleared.

Thanks.

It's a nice look -

early Melissa Gilbert.

Oh shut up.

What do you sleepin long johns?

With the flap in the back.

Just like Grizzly Adams.

My hero.

Good night.

Good night.

There you gosweetheart.

Thank you.

I didn't hearthem leave.

What timedid they go?

Mack got here about daybreakso they got an early start.

He'll be back soon.

Oh no, no, let me do that.

You relax.

Thanks.

Do you mind if I take awalk around your place?

Well there's not muchto see, but be myguest.

Hi.

What are youdoing in here?

Oh, I was just looking around.

I'm sorry.

You're mother didn't tell methat this was off limits or...

It's not, I guess.

Who did these?

They're amazing.

I did.

Are you serious?

I didn't know youwere an artist.

I'm not anymore.

These were all donea long time ago.

Why are they here?

They're brilliant.

They should be exhibited.

They were.

Now I know why theseseem so familiar.

I've seen these,didn't I, years ago

at theContemporaryin Chicago?

Yeah.

Well what happened?Why did you stop?

Life intervened.

After Angie...

after my wife died,

I just couldn'tsee the point.

And there was Hilly.

That's right.

Why?

Because they're beautiful.

You gonna watch TV all day?

Sure.

Why don't you gooutside and play?

I was outside allday yesterday.

There are poorkids in the world

who'd givetheir eye teeth

to be in thecountry for Christmas.

They can have it.

Besides I'm getting tiredof hearing about gangsters,

rappers, cribs.

The least you could do isput on the food network.

Yuck.

Or better yet go and find outwhat you're dad is up to.

We need a few thingsfrom the store.

This one's my favorite.

Want to know why?

I was midwayinto the piece

when I discovered thisflaw in the metal.

See it, here?

Oh yeah, I neverwouldhave noticed that.

It's subtle,

but completely at oddswith my original design

and I almostabandoned the piece.

But then the more Iconsidered thisimperfection,

the more it seemedlike a gift

so I followed it

to see where itwanted me to go

and, I know itsounds strange,

but it's as if thispiece of metal

revealed itself to me.

I don't think it'sso strange at all.

No?

No.

What'sgoing on?

I was just talking toClaire about this piece.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, he was just talkingto me about the piece.

Cool.

Grandma said she neededsome stuff from the store.

Okay.

I think shemeans like now.

Tell her to hold herhorses,I'll be there in aminute.

You tell her.

I'm going to go play inthe clean country air

for all the poorkids who can't.

Guess I'm goingto the store.

I guess so.

This is sucha good idea.

I've never donethis before.

It's justpopcorn.

But it's so festive.

Oh we don't doit to be festive.

We do it becausewe're broke.

You didn't tell meher dad was an artist.

You didn't ask,besideshe's not anymore.

He's a teacher.

You like himdon't you?

Yeah I think he'sa really nice man.

No, I mean you like him.

I'm not sure whatyou're getting at.

No big deal.

He likes you too.

He does?How do you know that?

Are you kidding?

He acts like a totalspaz around you.

Well that's very niceand I'm flattered,

but I'm about to getmarried to someone else.

He could be the wrong guy.

You never know.

Just heard some good news.

Apparently they're goingto have the road to Aspen

cleared by tomorrow morning.

Oh great.

Yeah, so we can driveyou up there early.

That's great.

You don't seemvery happy.

I thought you weredying to getthere.

I was...

I am, it's just alittle unexpected.

Well, expectthe unexpected,

that's what I always say.

So I got to finishmaking dinner.

Anyone wantto help?

I will.

I should go call Lorenzo.

Absolutely, yeah.

This looks good.

Mom's homecooking.

What, aren't youhaving any roast beef?

I'm a vegetarian now.

Not in this houseyou're not.

Really I am.

Dad, tell her.

It's true, sheis.

It's a moralchoice.

Uh huh, so what doesthat make me, immoral?

You have freedom of choice.

You're free to eat thatflesh if you want to.

Oh, you're killing myappetite you know.

So did you gethim?

Oh I didn't get him.

It just went straightto voice mail.

Well sit down andhave some roast beef.

Come in.

Oh, no thanks,I'm a vegetarian.

Really, you too?

Yeah.

Cool.

What is this, a conspiracy?

It's not a judgmentalthing, it's more of a...

I know, it's a moral choice.

Okay, well you two havesome moral vegetables

and Tom and I willeat the dead flesh.

Have some flesh Ma.

The voice mail box of thecustomer you are calling

is full, please ...

Hey.Hey.

What are you looking at?

A picture of my mom.

Can I see?

Oh wow.

She's so beautiful,just like you.

I'm not beautiful.

You are.

You think?

I know.

Is that Grandma'snightgown?

Yeah.

That's hot.

I think so.

You're up late.

So are you.

Can't sleep huh?

A little apprehensiveabout tomorrow I guess.

Oh, right.

I heard youtalking with Hilly.

I really appreciatewhat you said to her.

Oh, well I meant it.

She's a special girl.

Well thanks.

It's really nice for herto hear that from a woman.

I'm sure she'sheard it from you.

Oh yeah, but I'm herdad, I don't count.

You count more than you know.

Can I ask you something?

You don't have toanswerif you don't want to.

What?

What's the big rush...

to get married I mean?

I don't know,

I mean I love Lorenzo andI really like the idea

of whatmarriage represents.

And what's that?

Having a partner,security, stability...

haven't had a lotof that in my life.

Yeah, me either.

Well, you've had it.

Yeah, once.

Well that's better than never.

This is my chance I guess.

Well, Lorenzo'sa very lucky man.

Well I better tryand get some sleep.

Good night.Good night.

Sorry.

That was really stupid.

That was myfault.

No, it was my fault.

You didn't do anything.

It was my fault and...

you know what...

Listen...

I'm gonna go to bed.Good night.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

God.

Drive safely, the roadsare still real icy.

Thanks mom, I know howtodrive in theseconditions.

Sure you do, that's whyyou backed into a ditch.

That's not goingto happen again.

I hope not.

Oh here she is.

Thank youfor everything.

You have awonderful wedding.

No, no come hereyou rock head.

Hilly are youcoming or not?

Look about last night...

No, really it's silly,you don't need to...

I don't even knowwhat I was...

No me either, I shouldn't--

No, no, no, you were fine.It was me.

It was me and Ishouldn't have...

No, you were fine,it was...

What's up?

What are you twotalking about?

Wow, that'ssome house.

Maybe we shouldjustsay goodbye here.

Don't be ridiculous,come in and meet Lorenzo.

Are you sure?

Absolutely.

Oh, it's open.

Lorenzo?

Lorenzo?

Wow.

Maybe he got upearlyand went skiing.

This is amazing.

Lorenzo!

Claire, what a surprise!

I wasn't expecting you now.

I can see that.

How did you gethere so early?

Your flight was notuntil this afternoon.

I didn't fly, we drove.

Drove, oh, youshould have called.

Ah, we must havebeen skiing.

Skiing, si.

Lorenzo,what is going on?

What do youmean Claire?

This.

This...?

Michele and I are going overthe schedule for the wedding.

In bed?

It's more comfortable.

Oh god.

Nice to meet you.

Dad, what's going on?

Well sweetheart

sometimes two mencanhave the same kind

of feelings for eachotherthat a man and a womando.

Oh god, is the birds andthe bees conversation

about gay people?

Oh yeah, kind of.

Please spare me.

I've known all about gaypeople since BrianMcConnelly

came out in the 5th grade.5th grade?

Isn't that a little young tobe coming out of a closet?

I don't know, what does agehave to do with anything?

You are what you are.

Yeah, I guess that's right.

Is there anythingI can do?

Tell me thisisn't happening.

I wish I could.

I thought I camehere to get married.

I feel like such a fool.

Sometimes lifehas other plans.

Screw him.You're hot.

Claire...

it breaks my heartto see you cry.

Please come inside.

We must talk.

We have nothing to talk about.

Claire, please.

You okay here?

Want us to give you a ride?

No you should go.

I really appreciateeverything you've done,

both of you.

Please just go.

Cara--

Don't Cara me,you lying, cheating,

two-faced...Italian.

Hitting me will solve nothing.

Maybe not, but itfeels really good.

How could youdo this to me?

Was marrying mejust a charade?

No, no, I love you,I still love you.

But you're gay.

Well I won't exactly say gay.

Lorenzo!

All right I'm gay...

I guess Ialways knew it

but I never wanted to admitit to myself until now.

Well you're timingis incredible.

Please, pleaseforgive me Cara.

I wanted this to work morethan anything in the world.

So did I.

Hey dad?

What?

It's your song.

Yeah great.

Well aren't yougonna get down?

Not today Hilly.

Dad?

Dad!

What are you doing?

I'm just workingon this piece.

How come?

I don't know, Ijust felt like it.

I've never seenyou work before.

Can I watch?

Want to help?

Okay.

Okay put thoseon.

Thank you, okay.

Is that foryou Toby?

Is that yourpresent?

Okay I got one.

There you go.

Let's see,what could it be?

What's this?

It's Emeril'snew cook book.

Emeril.

I thought youliked Emeril.

I do, I do, it's just...

the Naked Chef ismore up my alley.

That guy is cute.

Yes, you got goodtaste girl.

I can return it if you want.

No, no, he'sa great chef.

I'm sure there are lots ofwonderful recipes in it.

Thank you dear.

Who could that be?

I'll get it.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

What are you doing here?

I was hoping maybe I couldhitch a ride to Chicago?

By a strange coincidence Ihappen to be going that way.

Then I guess today'smy lucky day.

It's a long drive.

I like car trips.

Bad roads.

Makes it more exciting.

No lattes.

I love Folgers.

No cell phonereception.

Who needs it whenthe company's good?

This is not how I thought I'dbe spending Christmas day.

All of life is an adventure.

No way!

Oh Hilly.

Look who's here!

For God's sakeyou two,

invite the poor woman in.

Come on, you're just intime for Christmas dinner.