The Night Before (1988) - full transcript

Winston Connelly wakes up in the middle of the night in an alley with no idea of how he got there. Nor does he know where in Los Angeles he is or why he is wearing a beat-up tuxedo. Through a series of flashbacks, he remembers that he was sidetracked on his way to the prom the night before. In the meantime, he has to figure out what happened to his wallet, his car keys, his date, and why a pimp named "Tito" wants him dead.

Where am I?




Bed's kind of hard.

Oh, what a night.

Time to wake up.


Come on, Winston.

Winston, get up, sleepyhead.

Just a few more minutes, Mom.



Hey, kid, I hope you
put it in a safe place.

- The money.
- What?


Do I know you?

Oh, very funny.

You're a great comedian.

Now, don't tell me,
you can't remember.



I can't remember anything.

Listen, kid...

Do yourself a favor.

Get lost.

Just don't hang around,
you sabe?

Excuse me...

do you know where we are?

Well, the way I look at it,
it's not where you are,

but where you're going.


Yeah, I'm too smart.

I should be in another business.

A stockbroker, yeah,
a stockbroker.

I could buy this building here.

Do a little paint job...

Maybe even become a distributor.

I could do wonders.


Hold it!


I'm not from around here.



Damn bug over there.

Excuse me.


Ma'am, excuse me, cou...

Help you?


A coffee.

Coffee and a doughnut, please.

Excuse me, could you
tell me where this is?

I mean, where we are exactly?

It's just that I don't
know where I am.

I know that sounds
strange, but...

Phone company's got information.

Here we got doughnuts
and coffee.

You want doughnuts
and coffee, fine!

You want information, try 411.


You want a bib, too?

No, sorry.

The coffee was hot.

Let it cool first, dear.

Quiche retains heat
longer than most foods.

Damn it!

Watch your language
at the table, son.

No, he's just nervous
about tonight.

I am not.

It's okay to be nervous.

After all, she's
the prettiest girl in school.

I'm not nervous.

Of course, you're not.

You've had dancing lessons.


The prom, the prom!

What did you say?

I said it's none
of your business. Period.

- I mean, dig it,
- Tara Mitchell,

captain of the Pep Squad.

Homecoming Princess.

Galleria Teen Model
of the Month,

five months running.

And then there's you.

After three years of high school
you've worked your way up

to Vice President
of the Astronomy Club.

She asked me to go out
to the prom with her.

I'm going.

That's all you need to know.

Look, bud, pay up.

50 for the joe,
two bits for the sinker.

My wallet!

Hey, Spike!

Got a guy out here looking
to tennis shoe his tab.

It's okay, Spike, no problem.


Hi, Winston.

Hi, Lisa.

Tara's waiting for you.


- Hi.
- Oh, hi, Mr. Mitchell.

I'm Winston Connelly.

I'm here to take Tara to
the Junior/Senior prom.

That's your car, son?

Yes, it is.

I mean, it belongs to my dad.

Your dad?


He let me use his car tonight.

What, you lose the keys?

I guess I must have.

Well, hey.

I got a master key.

Really? Will it
work on my dad's car?


It works great
on all kinds of cars.

That's a pretty
bitching stereo in there.

- It's not that good.
- Yeah?

I don't know.

Yeah, check it out.

Great, thanks a lot.

Like, how you going
to start it, man?


This is me.

Hey, don't sweat it,
man, it's cool.

- My name is Danny Boy.
- Winston.


That's pretty weird name, dude.

Oh, great!

You've saved my life.

- Really, thanks a lot!
- No problem.



Come back!

That's my dad's car!

Hey, what's all the noise, man?

Hey, I remember you.

Yeah, you're the dude
with the red Mustang, right?


Here's your keys, man.

You promised me five bucks
if I kept my eye on it.

I did?

You got money, right?

Do you have any money, Winston?

Hi, Tara.

Don't hi me, Winston.

I asked if you have any money.

Yes, I have money.

Enough for me to get a cab
home in case you get weird?

I won't get weird.

It's $17.90.

I called Yellow Cab
this afternoon.

And I know we're going
to have a great time.

Look, Winston, we both know
what the deal is, right?

I mean, I lost
the bet with Lisa,

and because I lost this bet,

I have to go to the biggest
dance of the year with...

well, with someone I
wouldn't normally go with.

But hey, that's just
the way it goes.

I mean, now, after all,

if our team had
beaten Madison High,

it would be Lisa going
to the prom with you.



I guess what I'm trying
to say is that...

I can handle it.


that's good.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.


please don't make it
any harder on me with chitchat

about what a swell time
we're gonna have, okay?

Will you excuse us
a moment, please, honey?

- Oh, of course, Daddy.
- Young man.

Oh, my God.

I told her gambling
would get her into trouble.

And I'm convinced
that deep in her heart,

she knows how sordid it is,

betting with human lives.

Actually, sir, I'd like to
look at this as a normal date.

I know you would, Winston.

That's why I'm going to tell you

the same thing
that I tell, you know,

all the regular guys
that she goes out with.

Since her mother died,
Tara's all I got.

I'm real proud of her.

Sure, she's spoiled and...

I guess she's got me wrapped
around her little finger,

but if anything happened to her,

I don't know what I'd do.

I know one thing though.

I would sure hate to be
the one I did it to.

Might be a storm coming, son.

Better play it safe and have
her home by midnight.

Yes, sir.

I won't be here,
I have to go on duty.

- Can I trust you, Winston?
- You bet.



Oh, God.

Oh, God.

The girl, what happened to her?

What girl?

The girl I came with.

- Oh, the chick in the party dress?
- Yeah!

I didn't take her home, say,
around 10 to 11, did I?

I mean, and then come back
here or something, maybe?

Man, there's only $4.25 here.

Please, man!

If I didn't take her home,
her old man's gonna kill me.


Before or after Tito?

Are you going to tell me
or I have to ask?

Look, all I know is that.

Tito is supposed to have
it out with you at sunrise

over on Beacon Street.

Something about a bad business
deal and something you said.

I don't even know
anybody named Tito.



That's probably not a here
nor there at this point.

My friend, what makes you
think that I am the one.

Tito is supposed to
have it out with

at sunrise on Bacon Street?

- Beacon Street.
- Beacon Street, right.

Well, I heard it
was some cracker

in a white coat
and a pink carnation.

Well, maybe it was
some other dude

in a white coat
and pink carnation.

You better hope.



Yeah, okay, I'll accept.

Oh hi.

Listen, I tried calling Tara,

but there was no answer.

I was wondering have you
heard from her,

like, after she got
back from the prom?

What are you talking about?

Who is this?


I mean, Lisa.

I mean, Lisa.

It's you, you son-of-a...

I'll call back later.




you want to party?



Excuse me.


It's my father's car!


Wait, hey.


Officers, officers, I need help.

Stop, stop.


You gotta help me!

I don't know what I'd do.

I have to go on duty,
so I won't be here.

Can I trust you, Winston?


Just, have a nice day.

Night, I mean.


Winston, we should
get back on the freeway.

It'd probably just jam up again.

Then we'd be stuck in traffic.

I'd feel better
on the freeway, honestly.

Everything's okay.

Don't worry.

We're totally lost, aren't we?

Look, I mean, sooner or later
we'll come to the ocean,

Then we hang a right
up Pacific Coast Highway,

and zip up to Marina Del Rey.

All we have to do
is keep heading west.

We're probably already
practically there.

I'm talking about
for the future.


What's in the box?

A little something
I picked up for you.

For me?

It's a little owl,
and its eyes wiggle.

Well, I, I really couldn't.

I know you're thinking,
"A little owl? Pretty stupid,"

but actually,
it's kind of practical.

It's a refrigerator magnet.

You know, you can tack up
notes to, like, your dad.

You know, "Sorry Dad,
I gotta go out.

I won't be home till later."

You know, stuff like that.

- A refrigerator magnet?
- Yeah.

Oh, Winston, didn't you
take general science?


We're on the wrong side of the...

Hey honey, come on.

Get rid of that snatch
and let's...

Oh, my God.

What if we shine on the prom?

Maybe go to a movie instead?

Let me know if you
see a taxi cab.

You hungry?

I'm not kidding, Winston,
look for a cab!

You know, we're
probably missing out

on some really good ethnic food.

I'm sure that if we
just looked around...

It's not that bad.

- Just ignore him.
- Roll up the window!

Don't let him know
that you're frightened.


Put your hands on the wheel!

Winston, take the wheel!

Put your hands on the wheel!

Next corner,
roll down the window!



Turn right!

Hey man, can you, like, loan
us a few bucks for bus fare?

Gee, sorry.

I bought some information
with my last $4.25.

What the hell do you call this?

Hey, honest, I didn't
know that was in there.

- This is a rented outfit and...
- Shut up!

- $1,400!
- I think I'm gonna kill you.


Say what?


I mean, I-I-I thought...

Is this... is this Tito's money?

It could be, I guess.

You tell Tito, we didn't
take none of it?


Go ahead, count it.

- Count it, count it.
- That's okay, I trust you.

Then everything's cool,
right, man, cool?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, all right, maybe we'll
run into you sometime at the,

- the Rat's Nest Bar.
- Yeah, the Rat's Nest.

You and Tito!

Money, money, money, money.

Credit card.

Look where we are, Winston.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe it!

Somehow that guy got
my wallet when he grabbed me.

And knowing that, you promised
the parking lot attendant,

$5 which belonged to me,
to watch the car?

It was almost out of gas.

I couldn't just leave
it out on the street.

But look, look, Tara,
I have this great idea.

I know how we can get
some money for a taxi.

You have credit cards, right?

Forget it!

It's done all the time, Tara.

We just go in here, ask them
to fill out a credit card slip

like we were buying something,

only instead, we get the cash.

We can get a taxi

or a limo, if you want it.

I'll pay you back
on Monday, I promise.

- Winston?
- Yeah?

I have some change.

I think I'll call my dad.


We don't have to
bother your dad.

Excuse us.

Come here!

Don't say a word, Winston.

Let's just get the money, okay?

I don't want to stay here
until we get murdered.

You know,

you're probably safer
here than at the prom.

I doubt it.

It's a known fact that 90%
of all the people murdered

are murdered by
somebody they know.

You know anybody here?

- No.
- See?

Excuse me.

- Do you take credit cards?
- What?

Do you take...

credit cards?

I do.

Do you take credit cards?

What kind?

What kind?




They're real easy to sell.


There goes my credit rating.

Excuse me.

Oh, sorry.

You just don't know
how to show your feelings.


- Sorry, excuse me.
- I'm talking about

- you and me, you know.
- Bartender?

I think you
misunderstood what I said.

What I meant was,

does this place accept
credit cards?

Hell, no, man!

There's too many stolen
ones floating around!

Look kid, let me
get you a drink.

What'll you have?

Ginger ale.



Tequila. Tequila.

- So...
- Before...

you say or do anything,

I just want you to know
that I happen to be a minor.

That's okay.

My first wife was
a truck driver.

She's dead now.

It's on me.

It's for the...

Hey, boy.


I wouldn't drink that
if I was you.

Yeah, well, you're not me.

I'm glad of that.


I didn't think
I'd see you again.

Yeah, me too.

I mean see you again.

I knew I'd see me again.

I assumed...

It's me.


- You don't remember, do you?
- Remember what, exactly?


You really don't remember.

Well, it's a really good thing

that I'm not like a super
emotional chick.

Remember what?

Well, drugs will do that
to you, I guess.


I don't do drugs.

Ain't that some...

I know a lot of people
who never did nothing

before they came in here.

You can't say I didn't warn you.

I wouldn't drink that
if I was you.

What do you expect?





Over there, over there.


Over there, over there.


Be... right back.


Stay away from
ginger ale and tequila.

It's a bitch.

Yes, could I please speak
to Captain Paul Mitchell?

No, Mitchell!


M as in Mickey Mouse!




I'm okay.

What are you looking at?

No, don't put me on hold!




You can't get me,
you can't get me. Oh yeah?

Hey, Carmen, is that you?

I'll be out in a sec, okay?


Is this the cloak room?


Is anyone here?

I know what they call it, Duke,

but you don't actually blow!

Oh, wow!

Band leader!

But we had something so special.

Excuse me.

Are we going to talk,

or are we going to rock?

- Oh man.
- White guy.

That sounds impossible, Duke.

I don't think I could do that.

Excuse me.

As you can see, I don't
really belong here,

and I need to use this phone.

Hold that thought, Duke.

Do you have a quarter?


This is a private call.

Do you have another...

Don't worry, it's me.

Winston Connelly.

Do you like my glasses?

I just got them.

- Operator?
- You're safe now.

I shot them.

This is an emergency, Operator?


Hey, you wanna dance?

What I want, Winston,
is I want out of here,

- and I want out now!
- Why?

Don't you know how to dance?

Yes, I know how to dance!

Well, great!

So do I!

I've had lessons.

It looks like fun.


Winston, I, Winston!

- Winston!
- Come on.


You okay?

Here you go.

No, hey, come on!

Winston, this is the most
embarrassing moment of my life.

All right!
Let's rock.

Five, six, seven, eight.


Come on.

You're doing great.


You're doing great.

Hey, don't you be
putting no snake on me!

Oh, that was pretty weird.

This is scary.

No problem, I'm okay.



Hey, it's you!

Hi, could you excuse
us for just a minute?


Now, listen, kid.

Was that always there?

Look, most of the girls
around here belong to Tito.

- Tito?
- Yeah, Tito.

And he is pretty intense where
his ladies are concerned.

Tito... Schmito!


if I start acting stupid,

tell me, okay?

- Hi.
- Hi.

How y'all doing tonight, good?


Listen, you know

you got a guy
around here named Tito.

All right, Tito, all right!

But, hold it, hold it,
hold it, wait, wait!

But hold it.

I gotta tell you
something about Tito.

The man

is dumb!

What, where's your
sense of humor?

Tito wants to see you at dawn!

On Beacon Street, you be there!

Who is this guy Tito, exactly?


He's a big guy.

Fingers in everything.

Well, mostly he's a pimp.

He runs a bunch of girls.

Pretty tough?

Are you kidding?

Listen, it really took
a lot of nerve

for you to come back here,

Well, he's gotta know
I was just kidding.

Yeah, but don't forget, he
was already pissed off at you.

I mean, you never told him
you girl's dad was a cop.

What does that have to
do with anything?

You should have told him that
before you sold her to him.


Sold her to him.

He gave you $1,500.

- Yeah.
- Oh God.

I got to confess, I was
pretty shocked myself.

- Oh, God.
- Weird.

I mean,

her old man being a cop,

and her being a hooker.

That's life, I guess.

I didn't sell her to anybody.

Yes, you did.

It was just before they
threw your ass out.

You were telling me
you needed some money,


What the hell.

Maybe you guys could help us.

I mean, this guy has a problem.

You bet.

I got this girl,

and I need some money,
like fast!

And she wants to work?

She works at the mall, I know.

Check her out.


What exactly do you want?

A little action, maybe.

"And just what do you mean
by action?" she asked.

You are smart.

Always make the John
spell it out.

John who?

Let's say a grand.

All right, $1,300.

1,300 what?

$1,500, that's it!

Tito goes no higher.

You tell Tito




- $1,800.
- $1,700.



It's a deal.

All right, got a deal.

All right!

$1,500 what?


Who is this guy, Monty Hall?


You sold her too cheap.

I would have given you
twice as much.

And personally, I think
you could have gotten

- $3,000, too.
- Oh God.

Something wrong?

Nothing, it's...

It's just that.

I was supposed to have
her home by midnight,

and instead.

I sold her to a pimp.


look at it this way.

You made $1,500.

In the first place,
I only got $1,400.

And in the second place,

she's not a hooker
in the first place!

- She's not?
- No!

She's a cheerleader

and the junior class treasurer

and a member of
the Young Republicans.

Then why did you
sell her to Tito?

I got a feeling this is not

the last time I'm gonna
hear that question.


I got to go.

- Ladies must live, you know.
- Wait!

What am I going to do?

Find her, I guess.

Just go out on the street
and ask around.

I can't do that.

I wouldn't know how.

That's right.

You're from the suburbs where
people do things for you.

See, around this part of town,

you have to do it for yourself.

You're much more together
than you think you are, Winston.

I know.



Sure, just go out and find her.

We're only talking about
400 square miles of city.

Watch the dress, bud!

Okay, take it easy!

This happens to be 100% silk!

Somebody is gonna pay for this!

And in a major way!


Ask around.

Who's around to ask
at 4:30 in the morning?

Information, por favor.

Donde esta Tara Mitchell?

The prom!

La prom-a?


Hey! Hey!


Hey, that's my father's car!

That's my car!

It's mine!


Say hey, bro!

What it is?

I was wondering if you
could help me out.

One dude to another?

Get your honky ass out of here.

You bet, Jim, you bet.

But first I got to find my lady.

My main squeeze.

You know what I'm saying?

And I was wondering
if you've seen her around.


The cops are like
totally after me.

- Just be cool.
- Cool.

Just be cool.

Just act like
nothing's going on.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry I got you into this.

Get your hands
over your head! Now!

I confess, I did it!

I took drugs
and sold her to a pimp.

Drop them, man,

or I'll splatter Mr. White
Bread all over the street!

Excuse me, officers?

Is there some reason
we're hesitating on this?

In the car!


Just take it easy,
son, take it easy.

Don't give me that son crap!

What's up, Willis?

A couple of jive ass cops, man!


Where did he come from?

- The valley!
- Shut up!

Since I,

didn't have anything
to do with this...

I don't know why we even

ripping off toy stores!

I'm not going to jail,
Willis, I'm not going to jail

for knocking over no
two-bit toy store, man.

Be cool.

You guys can let me off
anywhere along here.


Lose them in the factories, man!

Excuse me!

Could you...


My dad's car!

Hey, watch the short, homeboy!

Oh, God!

Now, what was it exactly
you said you wanted, Bro?

We got a problem, my man.

Yeah, caught us some white
bread down here

right in the middle
of our action, brother.

Yeah. What I need you to do is,
you know, check him out.

Check him out, you know.

Right, right.


You guys rob toy stores.

We don't rob
toy stores, ordinarily.

You said this chick is
wearing a pink party dress?


"About 5'5" with brown hair?

Yeah, that's her, that's her!

Gal Baby's.

What's a Gal Baby's?

That's whore house
over on Boyle and Eighth.

- Do that head thang.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Is it possible to go any faster?

Hey, we getting there.

We'll get another
speeding violation this year.

Say, my man.

How did you happen to
lose your old lady anyway?

Well, it's sort of
hard to explain.

Somehow I got to mixed up
with this guy named Tito.

Later on for you, white trash.


It's tough to beat this, a
new Pete Ellis Ram conversion

priced at $11,988, plus
a $500 factory rebate.

I'm blowing up the inventory
for the best deals in town,

and that's the truth.

This is certainly
no place for a woman.

I quite agree with you there.


I'm looking for a girl
in a prom dress who...

Beat it, kid.

God, Tara.

I'm so sorry.


Oh, my God.

Oh, hey,

you can't just
be walking in here.

You gotta see Gal Baby first.

The lady downstairs?

I saw her.


God, you're young.

This is a great dress.

Where did you get it exactly?


Me and my mom went
shopping for it.

It's my first formal dress,

and it's my first real date.

- What, you mean, like, for real?
- Yeah.

It belonged to this girl
that was working for this guy.


- You know Tito?
- What happened to the girl?

Tito found out her old man
was like the chief of police,

or something, so he sold her.

Sold her?


He sold...

- To who?
- I don't know.

Look, I gave one of Tito's guys
10 bucks for this dress

'cause I had this great
kind of first date idea, but

I don't want any trouble.

If Tito wants the dress back...

How much did Tito get for her?

Three grand.

I know who's got her!

Just take the damn dress.

It's that guy who was
shooting pool!

What the hell?

Hey, hey!

Next time, kid,
you see me first!

Hey, you got that?

- Excuse me!
- Oh, no!

Sir, wait!

Wait, sir!

Please sir, I need a ride!

No, no, no forget it, amigo.

I've places to go.

Please, it's a life
or death situation!

What does this look
like to you, pendejo,

some kind of taxi?

I have money, I'll pay!

You don't have that much money!

So, what are we going to do,

just drive around, or what?

I'm looking for someone.


- So, where does he hang out?
- I don't know.

Then how we going to find him?

We're gonna ask around.

Listen, there may be
some trouble here.

- Oh, si?
- Will you wait here for me?

Oh, sure, you bet.

Thanks a lot.

Don't worry about it, amigo.

You know a guy
they call Cueball?

They say he lives up there.

That true?

Who wants to know?


Oh, it's the first
floor, third on the right.

First floor, third on the right.


Hey, how much are these?



Hey, dipshit, that's
my door, you know.

I wanna know where
the girl is, Cueball.

What girl, pal?

The girl.

I wanna know
where she is right now.

You're a little too late,
tough guy.

I sold her to this guy
I know who exports.


You think it's funny?

I think you're funny, pal!

Then laugh this off, curly!

Hold it, hold it, man, hold it.

Is that piece real?

What do you think?

I don't think so.

What the hell,
no skin off my nose.

This guy name Fat Jack
is picking her up

at a hotel on Burlington Wall.

Room 415.


Hey, Dipshit!

I hope you get there in time!

Fat Jack, he likes to
test out the merchandise

before he ships.


Come on.

Hey, you can't be doing that!


This thing don't work.

Well, it work good
for the man who owns it.


Jump back!

Hey, you, got an elevator
in this dump?

If we had one,
I ain't never seen it.

Watch your step, porky.

These floors are what
you call antiques.



Well, it's about time.

Thank God.

Oh, no!

Oh, it's alright, Winston.

As you can see, modesty counts
for nothing around here.

Did they...

Did anything happen to you?

Well, let's see...

I was kidnapped.

They stole my dress,

and I was driven over here
in the trunk of a car.

Did you mean besides that?


No, that about covers it.

Listen, we gotta
get out of here!

We've gotta get you loose!

There's a guy
named Tito after me

and a guy named
Fat Jack after you.

Do you have the keys?


Oh, Jesus.


I'm going to try
to take the bed apart.

Is there anything you can wear?

No, they gave me
a tube top and a mini skirt.

It's better than nothing!

Winston, tube tops are out
and the mini skirt is vinyl.

What was that?

Damn termite-infested...

- Gotta think, gotta think.
- What?

I'm gonna go in there and think.

You must be Fat Jack.

- How did you know?
- Lucky guess.

You're gonna take
a little trip, baby.

Gonna meet some guys in Morocco.

But first,

how'd you like to
make it with me?

- Make it with you?
- Yeah.


I wouldn't make it with you if
you went out, lost two tons,

and came back with a bag
over your head.


Don't knock it till
you've tried it.

You're kidding, right?

I mean,

I've had half of the varsity
football team come on to me,

and I didn't make it
with any of them.

So, it, it wouldn't be
fair if I made it with you.



- Winston!
- All right, asshole!

Don't clown around, okay!

Who's in the can?

Somebody who's gonna
beat your brains out.

That's right!

- Right!
- Oh, yeah?


How'd you like that, Bluto?

You shut up!

Don't let him go, Winston!

Somebody owns me a $300 dress,

and I get to pick it out!

You guys can sit on your taste!

Okay, I give.

Toss me the vinyl mini-skirt.

This is for shit, man!

Oh, boy.

One last bolt.



I just wanted to say


you know, for showing
up when you did.

You bust your ass all night
trying to make a living,

then somebody drops
a fat guy on you.



something I have to
explain to you.

What in the...

Hey, you found her!

I told you you could do it.



Explain what?

- About the kidnapping...
- You know,

I don't want to say nothing,

but a tube top really doesn't

look all that good with a bra.

Believe me, I know
what looks good with what.

I've practically lived
at the Galleria.

Yeah, well, listen, all
I'm trying to say is this:

If you're gonna work
the streets...

She's no hooker, Rhonda!

I told you I sold
her by mistake!

You sold me, Winston?

Hey, you should be flattered.

Tito gave him $1,500.

I mean, pimps don't
usually go that much.

You sold me

to a pimp

named Tito

for $1,500?

I only got $1,400.

You're gonna tell your dad.


Your ass is grass, buster,
and Daddy is the lawn mower!


I can't believe it!

- Sold?
- Tara!

And into prostitution, no less.

Come on!

- At least let me help you.
- Let go of that!

I can carry my own bed,
thank you very, very much!

Come on, Tara!

- I'm sorry!
- Turn blue!

- Hey, give me a break here!
- Gee, am I overreacting?

Well, I guess being
sold into prostitution

has made me a little edgy!

Or maybe it's the thought
of almost losing my virtue

to the Goodyear blimp!

And then again,
it could be simply

the sleazy feeling
of vinyl against my skin!

You know what you are?

You are an egotistical,
self-centered little brat!

That's terrific!

- Excuse me, sir.
- Yeah!

Now, it's insults;
Pardon me, sir.

Do you win over a lot of girls
this way, Winston?

I'm sorry, sir.
We'll be out of your way

in just one moment.

All life means to you...

Excuse me.

All life means to you
is good looks,

popularity, and credit cards!


Yeah, what can I say to that?

I am a product of my
environment, Winston,

and I am getting
back to my environment

just as fast as I can!

- Yeah?
- Yes!

Well, me too!

Young love, what a kick.

Oh, my God.

People coming in here
and messing up things.

I don't understand that.

- You know what your problem is?
- You!


You're always
thinking about yourself!

Not true!

Hey, what did y'all
do to that bed?

Right now, I'm thinking
about you, Winston!

I'm thinking about what's
going to happen to you

- when my father gets his hands on you.
- Hey, kid!

What do you want me to do,
open on artery?

You'd better get out of here!

No, I don't want you
to open an artery!

You wouldn't do it anyway!

You are exactly
where you shouldn't be!

You know, stealing
a bed ain't worth jail!

Hey, do you mind? We're having
a private conversation here!

I put myself in
what I consider to be

a fair degree of danger
looking for you.

- Danger!
- Yeah!

Oh, danger.

Well, I shudder to think
what the vice president

of the Astronomy Club
would call danger!

What did you do, jaywalk,
or something?

Oh, yeah?

- Women!
- What do you mean, women?

Come back with that bed,
that's my bed!

I'm going to put you
in jail about my bed!

Oh yeah?

Yeah, well, I flattened
Fat Jack, didn't I?

With more than a little
help from gravity!

Tell you what, kids,
forget about the bed, bye.

I see you got the bitch back.

I beg your pardon?

You've made a big mistake.

I beg



You should have told me
her old man was a pig.

- Pig?
- Tara.

For your information,
that stands for

pride, integrity
and guts, buster!

Will you for just
once in your life

please just shut up,
shut up, shut up!

- Fine!
- Fine!

- Fine!
- Fine.

- Look, Tito...
- Hey, boss.

This guy thinks I'm you.

I don't like that.

Makes you look like a hooker.

It's okay, I know this guy.

I'm not surprised.

Kid, hi!



I guess I sort of
made a fool out of myself.

Last night, I mean.

Yeah, sort of.

Hey, everybody had a good laugh.

Of course, I got
insulted, but hey.

- Not every day is a Sunday.
- Look, Tito,

I couldn't leave without her,

but now that I got her
back, we'll just split.

It's too late.

I mean, God, it's not like
if I didn't give you a chance.


It's too late, kid.


You hear that, asshole?

That's your heart beating.

Hey, Tito, what's
happening, man?

Hey, where you been, dude?

Man, I've been driving around
for the past three hours

trying to find you, man.

Hey, I know you.

Hey, yo, Tito,
check it out, man.

I knew you're looking for one

- just like it.
- Hey.

- Yeah?
- Shut up.

All right.

Shit, Tito's my man.

Winston, that's
your father's car.




But, you can have it.

Oh, gee,



Why don't you pick on
somebody your own size?

- God.
- Hey!


Get back, get back!

Tara, get in the car!

Winston, where did
you get that gun?

Tara, get in the car!

Oh, I can't get
the bed in the car!

- Here, Tara, cover them.
- Oh.

I thought you said
he wasn't packing!

He wasn't!

- Then what is that?
- Hey, move the bed!

I don't think it's real.

God, all I wanted to do
was go to the prom.

Maybe you're right.

- Go get it from her.
- Point the gun!

Maybe it's real.

I told you it wasn't real.

Winston, did you know
this gun's not real?


You stuck those guys up
with a fake gun?

We'll talk about it later, okay?

Yo, Tito, that dude's
ripping off your car, man!

All right, Tito!

You know, Winston,

back there it was,

it was

almost like you risked
your life for me.

Hold on.

Watch where you're driving,
all right!

When I get a hold of this kid,

I'm gonna bury him in concrete.

Watch it!


Well, I guess you could

call this a real
growth experience.

I definitely feel I've grown.

- We got him now.
- Yeah.

All these streets dead end here.


Listen, you let him get
away, that's your tail!


I hate chickens!

Hello, Police Department,

- West Valley division.
- Yes.

Could you please connect
me with Homicide?


it's not like everything
didn't work out okay.

Hello, this is Tara Mitchell.

May I please speak to my
father, Captain Paul Mitchell?

- I'm dead.
- Listen Tara.

The deal was that you
go to the prom.

- Yes, I know he's very upset.
- He's upset?

You wouldn't happen to have
a bullet-proof vest around,

- would you?
- Daddy, hi.

Yes, Daddy, I know
that you're angry,

and you have every right to be.

God, my life is flashing
before my eyes.

I shouldn't have spent
the night at Lisa's.

- What?
- What?

But Daddy, it is
partly your fault, too.

Now, did you check
the answering machine?

No, you never do.

Well, yes I know,
but occasionally

there is a message
for you, Daddy.

Yeah, I'm at Lisa's.

Okay, bye.

- I...
- Tara?

Why did you do that?

Dial my house.

- Dial.
- The whole point of this bet

was so that the loser had
to be seen with a geek.

Now, going into
some part of town

where they don't even know
what kind of a geek he is...

No offense, Winston.

None taken.

But, it defeats
the whole purpose!

- Nice hairdo.
You get FM on that?

- Shut up, you jerk!
- Shut up!


Hi Daddy.

I just got back from the prom,

but I had Winston take me
to Lisa's house.

I'm gonna spend the night here.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Bye, Daddy.


You know, it's awesome
when you think about it,

being able to manipulate
history like that.

You mean, you're not
gonna tell your father

about getting sold to the pimp?

- You got sold to a pimp?
- Or about Fat Jack?

- Fat Jack?
- A total blimp.

- And he was the pimp?
- No, he was the blimp.

Tito was the pimp.

Fat Jack was more of
a white slavery guy, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, and that's why
you're handcuffed

to half a bed headboard?

- Yeah.
- Exactly.

Only, it use to be
a whole bed headboard

until we went into the sewer.

You took Tara into a sewer?

Yeah, only for
a couple of seconds.

Still, it was pretty gross.


This sounds like maybe
it would be as bad

as being seen at the prom
with Winston.

Tara, not that I'm not
grateful or anything,

but why did you do it?

You risked your life
for me, Winston.

Nobody's over risked
their life for me before.

Oh, yuck!

- Winston!
- What?

My dad is oh his way
over here to pick me up!

Yeah, so?


He's a police officer.

He's trained to notice
things like this!

Oh, right.

Do you have a saw?

I mean, I, like,
totally don't believe it.

Now, you're, like, changing
clothes in front of this guy?

I'm sorry, but I don't
understand it.

Well, that's because
you're a self-centered,

egotistical little brat.

- What?
- Really.

I mean, all life is
to you is good looks,

popularity, and credit cards.

Well, so?

How much longer, Winston?

About, five minutes.


Daddy, hi.

After I talked to you, I
checked the machine at home.

Sure enough, there was
a message for me.

Well, I hope you didn't
worry too much, Dad.

What's wrong
with your arm, honey?


at all,




I guess I shouldn't ask
how it went last night.

Don't worry, honey,
I'll get rid of him.


Hi, Tara.

- Mr. Mitchell.
- Hey, Hot rod.

What the hell was that phone
call this morning all about?

Well, I was trying to find Tara.

I mean, get Tara on the phone
to tell her something.

Tell her what?

Tell her what?


I wanted to tell her
that even though

she's a pain in the ass...

- What?
- Hey, Mr. Mitchell, come on!

Don't tell me this is
news to you?


No. No, it's not.

But even though she is,
you know, a pain,

and apparently doesn't
seem to care who knows it,

I still wouldn't want her
to change much.

I guess what I'm
trying to say is

I can handle it.

Oh, yeah?


Take her straight home,
Winston, and I'm not kidding.

I've had enough
excitement for one night.

Me too.