The New King of Comedy (2019) - full transcript

Follow your dreams and don't hold back

No matter how long it may take

Follow your dreams and don't hold back

(An Actor Prepares)

Just like the howling wind

ls someone hurt?

Let's go check it out

Old man, where are you hurt?

It hurts

Where?

I don't know...everywhere



Let me help you

No...

ls this a scam? ls it for real?

Hello, Emergency?

I'm here at Da Peng

Pardon me Sir...I'm also an actor

Your acting is not good.
Pain is the essence of a scam

You're not showing enough emotion!
Not convincing enough!

Ai-ya!

Your 'Ai-ya'...is not gonna do it

You were just hit by a car.
You can't just say 'Ai-ya'

You need to be believable

otherwise, you won't get
any sympathy from the audience

Ohh...it really hurts



No kidding dude!

This is lame, be serious!

Watch me

I'm going to pass out!

What...don't act smart!

Fainting is fine, but don't rush it

The blood looks good

Too bad your acting lacked in the beginning

You've already lost your audience

Just sharing some tips with you

Don't take it personally, Sir

The ambulance's here

Make way!

Mild fracture in left chest,
third rib bone...not life-threatening

Let's go

Ready...up

Careful

I'm so sorry, Sir

ls she a family member?

She's just crazy...ignore her!

Help!

My leg...

Cut!

Hey! What the hell are you doing?
Don't you know how to act?

You're in pain! Why aren't you screaming?
Can't you act?

Well, in my own experience...

When people are in pain,
they don't always scream out loud

What the hell are you talking about?!

Hey mister...come here

Can you do a painful reaction?

Ah!

That's so fake

Let me show you

That's real! See! No screaming, no shouting

Please tell the director

Director, what do you think?

- I...
- Director?

You...

Get the hell out!

Hey...

Need extras to play dead.
Must keep the make-up on for two days

- How much?
- Who wants to go?

$400 for two days

That's it?!

I'll go!

Any chance I can show my face?

Are you bargaining with me?!

If you show my face, just a meal will do

Deal! Let's go!

ls she crazy?

Crazy!

Come on, let's eat. Food's getting cold

You're the birthday boy

We can't eat until you start first

Dad

Happy birthday!

Dreamy...

Your make-up's very unique

It's quite terrifying!

ls acting fun?

I get to play a corpse this time

There's a close-up
so I can show my acting skills

Show your acting skills by playing a corpse?

Dad...

Death makes an interesting context for actors

Imagine...

If you were chopped dead alive...

The feel of that scene...

What did you say?!!

Say it again!!

Birthdays should be a happy occasion

Dreamy, stop the nonsense
and remove your make-up!

But I still have a shooting tomorrow

You really think you're a big movie star?!

You guys grew up together, right?

Look at Bobby!

He's now a big-time lawyer!

It's nothing much...nothing to brag about

And look at Peggy!

She's happily married...

With a great husband!

But look at you now!

We'd hoped you would become a lawyer

Not a corpse!

Everyone has their own talents...even a corpse

I'm an extra but I can take care of myself

I have my own dreams too

You're thirty already and
you've been an extra for over a decade

Have you ever played the lead?

I believe in my talents. If I work hard...

I can definitely make it as the lead actress

Sorry, I choked on water!

Mum, am I right?

Yes...you can do it

That's bullshit!

You've spoiled her!

I'm giving you one last chance!

Take that thing off and burn it!

Cleaver is not flammable, right?

Then I'll add one more!

You asked for it!

Wait a second!

Your emotions are so inspiring!

Dad, hold the cleaver and hop again

I want to record this

Ready, jump!

Jump!

Daughter, what are you doing?

Auntie, we'll be leaving now

So sorry!

Get out!

I'm disowning you!

And take your trash with you!

But Dad...that's your trash

I don't give a damn!

You total bum!

Get the hell out of here!

Please calm down!

I'll beat you up everytime I see you!

Hey!

Can anyone act here?!

I can!

You

Do a happy face

Do a sad face

Alright, come with me

Who can do an angry look?

Me! Me! Me!

You

Get lost!

You try

Okay, very good

Someone react to a deathly blow

Me! Me! Me!

You

Can you specify the type of deathly blow?

What's with all the questions?
Get lost if you can't do it...

How about "Icy Palm Attack"?

Okay, Icy Palm Attack

so cold...

See a doctor if you're sick...
Don't give it to me!

You! Try!

Why are you dragging me here? I'm not going!

Just want to bring her some soup

Soup for her?! Are you on her side?

Just pretend we're passing by

If I see her, I'm gonna hit her! Don't stop me!

Or I'll hit you too!

You're asking for it! What's wrong with you?!

Why do you need to know everything?

I just want to build up my character

Build my ass!

No one will even see you! Are you the lead?

Would you get it if I gave you the context?

You won't! You're just an extra!

Go, come with me

That was intense

Hello

What?

Couldn't you be nicer?

Why blow up over a simple question?

None of you business!

She's serious about acting. Can't you see that?

Who?

You know who I'm talking about!

God is watching what you're doing!

Be careful...karma!

Crazy! PA...come here!

I'm sorry

Do you know who I am?

No!

- Good
- Let's go

Hello

Your acting in Icy Palm Attack
had a lot of depth. It hit the mark

It was alright

The key is imagination...
immerse yourself into the scene

That's amazing!

I'm Young

I'm Dreamy

You're reading this book too?

Yes!

You like "King of Comedy" too?

I love it! I memorized all the lines!

Wanna give it a go?

Right here?

Why not?

Hey...

What?

Are you leaving?

Yes

Where are you going?

Home

And then?

Off to work

Do you have to go to work?

Who will take care of me if I don't work?

Hey!

What now?

I'll take care of you

My boyfriend's here

Hey, that's the wrong line

No, my boyfriend's really here

See you!

Who's that guy?

Some colleague

Really?

Yes. Let's go!

You can have my sausage

Let's share

I put $4,000 into our wedding fund this month

You only make $5,000 a month.
If you give me $4,000...

How would you survive?

$1 ,000 is enough for me

I get meals on the movie set
so it doesn't cost me a penny

Let me contribute $4,500...

So take back $500

No, don't worry

We agreed to half each

I thought my love was deeper

But turns out, your love is just as deep

You're really giving him your money?

Of course

Then why not give it to me?

But I'm not getting married to you!

You might as well be with me then

Lend me your soap

Why do you keep staring at Mimi?
Do you like her?

Pisses me off if you say that!

Looking doesn't mean I like her!

I despise her from the bottom of my heart

She's so cheap!

Don't you think Mimi's pretty?

Beauty means nothing...

If she's got nothing inside

You know why I love you?

Why?

Because you have taste

Of course!

Dear...

I want to introduce you to my parents

They'll be so relieved to know we're together

That's for sure

Actually, I'm busy with a big project now

When accomplished...

Your Mum and Dad will be so proud of me

Not to brag but, I, Charlie...

Shall be the next Bill Gates!

Aren't you being too ambitious?

Let's be realistic and
go for number two or even three?

I am very humble and realistic!

How many eyes does Bill Gates have?

Two

How many eyes do I have?

Two

He doesn't have more and I don't have any less

- ls that right?
- Yes!

Whatever he can do, I'm capable of it too!

Absolutely right!

Listen to me. You must believe you're the best!

Not be second or third place!
You are number one!

Stop thinking about those online videos

Go for the big global movies!

Actually, an international production is
looking for Chinese actors

That's your chance!

But they're looking for Snow White

You're Snow White!

Me?

How many eyes does Snow White have?

Two

How many eyes do you have?

Two

So why can't you be Snow White?

Tell me! Why not?

Tell me!

Ask yourself...

Am I right?

Doesn't it make sense?

You are...

Snow White!

You really want to get beauty injections?

Well...Snow White is a Western classic

Reckon adding some
Western features to my face...

Wow, you've even thought of that

Famous actors do it all the time

Marlon Brando went
all out to get the Godfather role

He did a lot to change his face

Bullshit! You just want to look better
with cosmetic surgery

You wrong me!

Getting prettier is surely a good thing

I found this amazing beauty App!

SoYoung Medical Aesthetic App

It shows all the information and
the different cases

I actually know a 80 year old well known brand

Where?

Here we are

Doctor, here's a new customer for you

What would you like to do?

I want to look like her

Are you sure?

It's my first time. I'm a bit nervous

This style is also my first time.
I'm a bit nervous too!

You do Chinese faces more often right?

Honestly...

I usually do humans

Do you want the hair too?

What hair?

There's hair all over

Right...they're more hairy...

But most people won't notice

It's hard not to notice

You're so professional.
But I'll pass on the hair

What a shame!

The effect will only lasts for two days

It's simple...very quick

Doctor, I want a tall upward nose

More upwards...your nostril will be
as big as a yin-yang hotpot

Yin-yang hotpot?

Whatever you like

Doctor

Why do you keep looking at that gorilla?

I need to look at it so I know what to do!

Why?

You wanted this gorilla look, right?

No, not that!

I wanted this!

Why didn't you say so?!

I want a mirror!

Don't look! You can't take it!

Relax, I can fix it!

Just lie down

Alright, it's done!

How is it? Let me see...

How do I look?

It's gorgeous!

How gorgeous?

Too gorgeous to look at

It's much better now

Next

(Snow White audition. Line up here)

Wait there

What do you want?

I'm here to audition

Which role?

Snow White

Why?

Because I want to audition for Snow White

Say again?

Why am I repeating?

Not sure I heard you right

I'm here to audition for Snow White

Say that again

Never mind...sorry

Stay there!

Stop that woman!

Don't let her go!

Stop her!

Get her!

Don't Run!

Stop her!

Come with me!

Wanna run?

You can't get away?

Wanna run?

I'm so sorry!
It was just my wishful thinking...

I shouldn't have come!

Boss, take a look

What do you think?

Get to work!

Please don't!

I won't do it again!

Neck...thirty-three

Start working!

Sleeve...sixty

What's going on?

Don't move

Please tell me what's going on?

You got the role

Director, we're almost ready

I got it?!

We're ready...

Hurry up!

(Miracles happen here)

Let's go!

May I know what this scene's about?

Don't worry about it.
We'll tell you after we shoot

What's the character's emotional state?

Great!

Good idea! Actor's on the way...

Ready...

Stay here!

Hello

Camera!

Action!

Cut

Okay. Switch to the actor

Lose the double! Actor, ready for your lines!

Take her away!

Hurry up!

Move aside!

Action!

Go ahead! I'm not afraid to die!

Cut!

Okay

Keep beating

Actor, take a break. Double, take over

Thank you

- Come
- Tilt your head up

Tilt your head

- Stay sharp
- Come on...hold up your finger

Point your finger up

Posture, don't collapse

Action!

Cut!

Switch!

Action!

Can't believe you killed me!

- Cut!
- Cut!

Wonderful!

The Seven Dwarves have
finally avenged Snow White

This is so touching

Director

Aren't I supposed to be Snow White?

What the hell are you doing?

Get lost!

- Sorry, Director
- Take her away

Director!

Sorry

Ready for Snow White's scene

Okay

Mr. Marco

Tell that 'has-been' to hurry up.
Need him on set

Who's the 'has-been'?

Me

Watch your mouth!

Sure

(Snow White - Bloodbath in Chinatown)

Make way! Make way! Mr. Marco is coming!

We'll do company move after this scene...

Director, please pick the female
version of Snow White

Any pretty face will do...there's only one shot

Mr. Marco is here! Stay calm!

Attention, everyone! Make way!

Go away! Stay away!

Go away! Don't come over!

Stay calm! No pushing!

No touching! No photo!

Mr. Marco...

In this scene, you will play Snow White

The evil witch tricked you into eating...

A poisonous banana and then you became a man

The prince got too drunk to realize...

that he slept with you

Did I do him? Or did he do me?

Both ways

When the prince woke up,
he found out you were a man

He couldn't accept it so he tried to kill you

But you killed him first

The prince's men tracked you down in Chinatown

They attacked you

You were badly hurt...
your guts came spilling out

Isn't that gruesome?!

It's my tribute to Zhang Che's
Aesthetic of Violence

Zhang Che, Aesthetic of Violence

Do you get it?

Fine

Not fine or not.
It's whether you get it or not?

What do you think?

It's hard to say

Of course I get it! You meant violent right?

Perfect!

Let's do the scene when you get stabbed
and you're angry. Okay?

Okay, let's begin!

Mr. Marco, let me set up the props

Camera

Take one

Action!

I...

I am so angry...

Cut!

Mr. Marco, can you try to be really angry?

I already said I'm angry

You all heard it, right?

Director, only you didn't hear what I said

Do you think I'm lying?

It's hard to say

Then don't say anything! No one is forcing you!

Can you be more girly?

That's what I said!

I'm a princess after all

You are really slow

Come on!

One more time!

Action!

I am so angry...

I am really...

Bloody hell!

What the hell is this?

Cut! Wrong lines

What the...You thought that was a line?

How did my guts become hotdogs?

Mr. Marco, listen to me.
A New Year film can't be too violent

What about all that "as..." violent crap?!

- Aesthetic of Violence
- Attention! Attention!

Attention, everyone! Attention!
Mr. Marco is pissed off!

I was just about to get into character!

Why did you interrupt me?

Even though this is
a movie with aesthetic of violence...

...it can still be innocent

Seeing my guts as hotdogs...

I almost burst out laughing!

How can I get into character?

The business side is very complicated

You're an amazing actor...

the hotdogs won't be a problem for you!

Of course it won't!

But you're insulting
the audience's intelligence

New Year movie

You might as well add some cute kidneys!

- Props! Get me a kidney!
- Copy that

Right away!

Director, would this work?

Dip it into the ketchup and let's see...

Okay

Oh my God! So bloody and innocent!

That's it

Ready! Actors in position!

Not yet cut?!

I'm worn out!

Attention everyone! Attention!

Mr. Marco is here. Make way!

Attention everyone! Attention!
Mr. Marco is coming!

Stupid director...making a stupid movie!

In the old days, I would've slapped him!

Why don't you now?

I'm a classy gentleman now!

What are you laughing at?!

You fool

Are you mocking me?

How dare you mock me?

You think I'm funny, huh?!

Attention, everybody! Attention!
Mr. Marco is kicking!

No kidding! Mr. Marco is kicking!

No touching! No photo!

Self control!

Dreamy

ls it really you?

Young

Yes

ls it a special make-up?

Yes

Everything's okay?

I'm fine

You can have my meal

Don't worry

Excuse me

Mister, can I get another meal please?

One for each person

You 'extras' are always so greedy!

Get lost!

If you come back, I'll call the cops!

I told you guys earlier

God is watching everything you do!

Why are you always so mean?!

What?

Aren't those lunch boxes for eating?

What the hell?!

Tell me!

Tell you what?!

Aren't those lunch boxes for eating?

Yes, so what?

Why didn't she get one?

Who?!!

That girl with special make-up

Answer me!

Calm down!

- Why didn't she get one?
- Calm down!

Why didn't she get one?

Hold on!

Why did you hit yourself with a bottle?

I couldn't hit him, could I?

Didn't you see how big he was?

Did you see our daughter?

No

So we just leave?

Yeah

I saw Marco on set the other day

- Who's Marco?
- That Marco

- Who?
- Never mind

He was in a bad mood...
he kicked away my lunch box

So I asked the PA for another one,
but he wouldn't give it to me

But suddenly as I was leaving, he gave me one

ls good luck coming my way?

You're just an extra. Don't overthink it

Have some respect for extras

Many stars started as extras

Sun Li, Carina Lau, Zhao Liying...

Are you as talented as them?

We're all special in our own ways

And I work harder than them

You're delusional

So work hard and you'll have a chance

No one gets discovered
just standing on the streets

Excuse me, Miss

Would you like to be in a movie?

Who are you?

She's a famous producer

Hi, I'm Dreamy...I'm an actor

Hi...we're looking for actors in our movie

Are you interested?

Yes, I want to try!

Oh sorry...

Not you

It's you

Me?

Yes, I've been talking to you

How about it? We're just over there

Don't be sad

Consider it a game

Don't cry

They picked me for the female lead!

Really?

I know nothing. Why would they pick me?

I went in and they removed my make-up.
Said only two lines...

Then I got the lead! What should I do now?

What do you mean? It's a great opportunity!

I would trade fifty years of my life
for this chance!

But I don't want it!

I'm so scared. I don't want to be an actor!

It's okay...don't cry

I'm so innocent,
the industry will pollute my innocence

I don't mind to be polluted,
perhaps you can tell them...

I can take your place

I beg them to take you...

But they said they would rather die

They would rather die?

Yes, they said they would rather die

- Would rather die
- What should I do?

Car's here

Okay. ls everything fine?

- Yes...
- Hi

You still here

Thank you for giving me the chance

- Do your best
- Sure

You want a ride?

Sure, I live nearby

Thank you

Take the back seat

Mimi moved out just like that?

Everything's gone

She even took my soap and sanitary pads

Told you so

Cheap!

If I hadn't ask Mimi to eat with me...

they would have picked me

Even without Mimi,
they might not have picked you

Don't people said 'hard work pays off'?

So that opportunity
wasn't meant for you, but for Mimi

But if she doesn't try her best,
she will eventually screw up

Hang in there. You'll make it!

You're right! I'll try even harder

I'll send out my CV all over China,
I want everyone knows

what acting actually means!

Well said!

Be positive!

I'm short on cash for my start-up,
but I still have hope

How much do you need?

$20,000

Just use the wedding fund

No! Then we would never get married

Maybe I can work overtime or get a second job

Let me worry about it

I don't want you to suffer

Hey boss

Excuse me

Boss

I need money.
Do you have any work that pays more?

Are you serious? Who do you think you are?!

I'll do anything

Please...thank you

Cut!

Are you kidding me?

She looks perfect

Get lost! Don't know what the hell
you're saying!

Who hired the double?

Old hag, I beg you! Put on some clothes!

- Get out!
- Man, she's scary!

Sorry, Director

I didn't know she looks hideous unclothed

Are you joking? This double sucks!

Bad figure and sagging skin

And black dots on her ass

Sorry, Director

You might as well have asked me to do it!

- Go get me another one!
- Dreamy

Are you okay?

I'm fine

The director said my body and skin suck

And begged me to put my clothes back on

That was it, I am super fine

Ask the howling wind, how long is the road

Before I can see my dreams

Will I survive the waves and the wilderness

(Hiring Extras for Drowning Scene $400 per day)

Before I make it with a smile

The wind does not begin or end

It just has to surge and go

No questions asked

No worries about the long journey
and wild waves

Let's go with the wind

No matter the seasons change

Follow your dreams and don't hold back

No matter how long it may take

Follow your dreams and don't hold back

Just like the howling winds

Director

Do I need to move?

Have you ever seen a moving statue?

No. Why don't you use actual statues?

Because they're too expensive. Get lost!

Dreamy, are there any acting tips
to be a statue?

I see...just meditate to appear lifeless

I'll try this

Let's begin!

The prince wakes up and
discovers that Snow White is a man

Rolling

Scene four. Shot one. Take one

Action!

Who are you?

Snow White

I slept with you?

Cut!

What are you doing?!

It's only lust for you but love for me!

Why so upset?

What?

Your character lie for chips...

You no pain heart, understand?

What?! But...

Director, get someone to teach him English

Come on. Let's do the close-up
of me killing him first

Everybody, I no time, quickly, quickly!

Mr. Marco, do you know your lines?

Of course! Hurry up...

Okay, ready!

Action!

What's the line?

Cut!

It's all my fault, blame it on my body,
you heartless man!

Okay, let's begin

Action!

It's all...fault...

Whose fault?

Cut!

It's all my fault, blame it on my body,
you heartless man!

I got it! Again!

It's all my fault...

Blame it on my booby...

Cut!

Sorry Mr. Marco, it should be "body"

Who cares!

Just a bit off

Kids watch movies during New Year...

Better be careful with pronunciation

Kids don't care about pronunciation!

Shall we say "1 , 2, 3, 4, 5".
We can dub the lines later

Counting numbers?

Are you insulting me?

No, this is easier

Easier? Why didn't you say so!

You wasted my time...you damn fool!

Come on, shoot!

Rolling

Action!

1 , 2, 3...

Cut!

1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Don't interrupt! Shut up and shoot!

1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...

...8

Cut!

1 , 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Counting numbers make it more difficult!

Tell me! Who on earth can do this?

My Chinese's not good. Let's do it in English

Okay. Rolling

Action!

Thousand wrong ten thousand wrong

My meat wrong

You negative...

Heart people

What's he doing?

Cut!

Mr. Marco. Are you okay?

Can't you understand simple English?

No, I don't...what happened actually

Of course you won't understand...
but if you insist...

I'll tell you

Attention! Everyone attention!

Mr. Marco is giving acting lessons.

No photo! No touching!

I killed my beloved with a knife

My emotions are so complex!

Sad, fearful, selfish, arrogant,
excited, shy...and so on

Those emotions...

They are just like...just like this...

...and that...

What do you know? And you interupted me?!

So sorry. I thought you were having seizure

Seizure?!

My acting was amazing
but you thought I was possessed!

Didn't you guys see it...my amazing acting?!

What are you doing?!

You fall asleep when I give lesson

Sorry Mr. Marco

It's you again!

Come here!

This statue doesn't look real...too clean

I didn't sleep well last night.
I didn't mean to fall asleep

Get down on the ground!

Quickly!

Right!

Stay still!

Way too clean...need retouching!

You need to look more realistic!

Dirts enhance texture

It's way too clean

Forget it...don't use this statue!

Everyone...back to work!

Hurry up!

Hello

How've you been? Alright?

Pretty good, Mum. Everything's fine

That's good

Remember to be humble and learn from others

I know...I get it

Dad and I are worried that you're being bullied

Don't worry

Everyone likes me here...really

That's good to know

Oh, Mum...

ls Dad still mad at me?

No

Your Dad got a headache and just resting now

Please tell Dad that...

I love you both

What did you say?

Say that again, louder

Damn you! Get lost!

This make-up room is for actors,
not for extras!

Isn't she sweet?

Damn you!

What?

Isn't that sweet?

Dreamy

Are you okay?

Young...

Please, stop asking me if I'm okay

Your face...This is too much!

Stop! Don't make things more difficult for me

I need money and I need this job!

Why didn't you say so? Money is all I have

How much do you need? I can give it to you

Stop joking around with me!

You are just like them!

Can't you see I've reached rock bottom?

I just want to help

If you really want to help...
just leave me alone!

I am sorry

Wish I could fly a rocket, fly you to the skies

Live together in outer space

Live for a thousand years
and be blissful everyday

Having you by my side is endless fun

Being together with you is my pride and joy

Fear not of the end of the world

When storm comes, as long as I see you

It is like a thousand miles of sunshine

Having you around is joyful
and make everything marvelous

Even plain water taste sweet

Longing to be with you forever,
I need you every minute

You are sunlight. You are my breath

Dressing up for you, feeling crazy for you

Be a fool for you

Scream like crazy is joyful too

Having you by my side is endless fun

If I lose you one day, blossoms would feel sad

I would desert the world to live on an island

Carve a figure of wood in the memory of you

Live alone with the figure of you

Having you around is joyful
and make everything marvelous

Even plain water taste sweet

Longing to be with you forever,
I need you every minute

You are sunlight. You are my breath

Cut

Mr. Marco, this is the first shot
of the entire movie

You ate a poisonous banana and
turned into a man

I want you to show more deep inner fear

Or this movie is doomed

Not like this...

I want true fear

Show me

Try expressing it with your eyes

Cut

What are you doing?

Do it again

Truly feel it...

Cut!

If you keep doing this...the movie's doomed!

Do it again

For example...it's really...

Cut!

Forget it. Take a break

Well...

Cut...

Get lost!

How did it feel?

Unhappy?

It's hard to say

We're all just making a living here

Let's not give each other a hard time

Why so serious?

PA

Show him to the restroom,

Clean him up

Hello

Mr. Marco

Did you see the news?

No, what's up. Quick!

Do you remember the extra you were yelling at?

Yeah?

She's dead

How did she die?

She hung herself

She wore a red dress to show her deep vengeance

Look! What's she doing there?!

I don't see anyone

That person in red...standing by the wall

Can't you see her?

Mr. Marco, stop joking

Get a close-up of him looking scared!

Got it

Director, why am I looking at the wall?

It's not a wall. It's an ocean

You're ice-skating and
you see your crush, Mr. Marco

You dare not to look at him...
so you steal a glance

Then hide behind the wall and
steal another glance. Got it?

Got it

Action!

Now you gather your courage

Give him your necklace and smile

Action!

This is for you...

Great! Cut!

Perfect! Beautiful!

Director, this...

He peed his pants...

Never mind...hold on

Sorry Mr. Marco. Please don't be angry

That was the expression I needed

That's awesome. Let's continue!

I'm not doing it!

I need to go to the hospital...

Damn you!

You will hear from my lawyer

Sorry, Mr. Marco

I just wanted a better performance

You could've just told me how!

I'm a world-class actor. I can do anything

I kept asking and you kept failing

So you came up with this evil plan?

Attention! Attention everyone!
Mr. Marco pissed his pants!

What did you just say?

Attention everyone!
Mr. Marco did not piss his pants

They're just wet

I've had enough of you!

I've been in the movie business for decades

I've never been so humiliated in my life!

How is it possible for an extra...

to humiliate a world-renowned star?

What the hell!

It's total nonsense!

How dare you stand there still?

I am sorry

No, you stay!

You go!

Yes. You should go!

I meant you, Marco. Leave!

You, young people these days...

ls so inexperienced and come up with this crap

I get it

I totally understand

I had to do this because your acting sucks

My acting sucks? Why did you hire me
in the first place?!

Because you were cheap and
everyone else was busy

You've been a total has-been for years

Thought you would have cherished this chance

You're a failure because
you don't have what it takes to be an actor

Let's not waste more time. Sun's coming up

Everyone, get ready. Let's roll again

One more time, everybody!

Don't worry about it. We're replacing you!

Don't be a prick. I'm trying to be nice here

You're the prick here!

We should talk

Get back to work. Come on

Director

I appreciate the chance. I'm really gratefuI

I think about repaying you even in my dreams

How about giving back my script?

Please don't do this!
I haven't worked for seven, eight years!

I can't lose this job!
Please give me another chance!

I'll give you half my acting fee

Deal?

Do me this favor

I can't

Please?!

Take back the script from him

Excuse me

Please don't!

Let go!

- Give me some face, please...
- Let go!

Let go!

I'm so sorry

I didn't mean to scare you

Don't say a word!

I didn't know it would turn out that way

I don't need anyone's sympathy

Coming here make me feel like fighting

You weren't fighting...
you were just beating yourself up

Marco!

Haven't seen you for a while.
So you're still acting

Hey, I'm taller than you.
You've got sagging skin

Dad. Mum

She's our daughter

- Come
- What are you doing here?

Let's take a selfie

Please Stop!

Don't worry...

Come on, let's pose together!

- What pose?
- Show me the 'heart' pose

Come on...be a good boy

Smile! One, two, three!

Sorry to bother you, Mr. Marco

Marco

When my daughter was a kid...

She saw your movie "Orphan Adventure" and
fell in love with acting

You're her inspiration

Mum, please stop

Mr. Marco. Please don't mind us

We're big fans of yours

Mr. Marco

My daughter won't listen to me

But she's just not cut out for this

Can you help me talk her out of it?

She works very hard

She'll make it

Thank you Mr. Marco!

Young!

Nice suit!

It's okay

Whose fancy car?

Dreamy...is $200,000 enough?

I can give you more if you need it

Stop messing around!
Using prop money will get you arrested

Boss

Time's up. We have to go

In a minute...I'm almost done

Dreamy, just take it

No, I can't

I found a part-time job. I have enough money

That's good then

So you're actually rich

It's from my family business

Why did you even become an extra?

I really enjoy it

But I need to go abroad for my family business

I can't fool around anymore

That's so amazing!

Not really. I've got to go

By the way...

I want to tell you I like you

Well, I like you too

No, I mean in a romantic kind of way

I thought of you as a friend...
but you wanted something more?

Yes

What do you like about me?

You've got a beautiful soul

So you're saying I'm ugly on the outside?

No, you look beautiful too

That's so fake! Imagination

Come on. Try again with more feeling

You're really good-looking!

Just forget it

I don't blame you.
The lines are a bit of a stretch

Right!

How dare you!

I've got a boyfriend already

I know

But thank you anyways

I'll be going then

Come and visit me sometimes

I'll be in America.
Might not be able to come back for a while

You're a big-shot now! I'm so envious

I should be the one that's envious

You get to do what you love

I'll be rooting for you

Hello

Your food's here

Please give me a five-star rating. Thank you

Mimi!

Try it on

It's been a while...how are you?

You know her?

Yes

Director Chen!

It's really you! What an honor to meet you!

I'm a big fan of your movies. I love your work

Thanks

Try this one

Actually, I'm an actor. My name's Dreamy

Can you give me a chance to act in your movie?

I'm willing to play any roles

Sure

Really?

That's wonderful!

If you give me a chance...

I won't let you down!

That's good

Thank you!

I'll get going

Pardon me

Director, please have a look at this

Director, when will the movie start shooting?

I want to clear my schedule for you...

Do you know her well?

Not really

We'll call you

You can go now, thank you

I'm sorry, but...

May I have your WeChat?
I can come anytime to audition

We don't use WeChat. Why are you still here?

Oh okay

Can I borrow a pen? I'll just leave my number

- The Director can reach me anytime
- Just go!

Okay

Thank you so much

I won't be calling you

Just go

Thought you said you'll call me?

Hold on!

I was only being polite.
Didn't want to hurt your feelings

Have you never looked in the mirror?

I look at it everyday

You actually think you have a chance?

I do

No, you don't!

I know the chances are slim...

but I'm willing to wait

You don't need to wait!

You'll never get a chance....ever!

How long would 'ever' be?

Till the end of the universe!

Do you understand?

Well...what about after the universe ends?

People like that are a disgrace to humanity

They'll never make it
but yet they're in denial!

These people never know when to quit!

We just want your food!
Aren't you here to deliver our meals?!

Sorry Director,
Sorry everyone for the disruption

I'll lead her out

Let's go

What are you doing?
You're making a fool of yourself!

I had to try

Forget about it. It's fate!

Do you know what fate is?

What is it?

I never wanted to be a star, but here I am

You've always wanted to be a star,
but you're only an extra

This is fate!

Don't fight it, okay?

Charlie, where are you?

I'm with a client

I want to see you

I still have a meeting later. I'm really busy!

I'll call you later

Wait, don't hang up

What's up?

What are you wearing today?

I wear the same thing everyday

White shirt and black pants

Why are you asking?

Oh nothing...just curious

I'll talk to you soon. Bye bye

Let's take a taxi

Okay

Where can we find taxi?

Right over there

It's raining hard

Hi Cousin...what a coincidence!

Darling, she's my cousin. Wait here

Who's she?

A client

Why did you call me your cousin?

Don't worry about it! It's just a label!

Let me talk to her

She's really my client and
you're my client too!

I provide service...okay?

What service?

You know

Boyfriend for hire

You're an escort?

Whatever...it's just a label

Why me?

ls this my fate?

Or because I'm stupid?

Don't be so hard on yourself

Ignorance is a bliss, makes you happier!

Alright

Give me back my wedding fund

About that money...

I'll take good care of it. Don't worry

The money you are after...

It's all here

Take it. Just do whatever you want

I'm not scamming you

I'm just collecting my service fee

You can't just dine and dash, right?

You never thought
I would make it as an actor, right?

You'll make it

You're the best

As long as you pay me,
I'll keep telling you this...

As often as you want

Don't cry! She'll get suspicious!

Stop it!

Don't give me any trouble!

Why did you do this?

Don't screw it up for me!

Cousin! Don't take drugs!

It'll kill you!

Don't ask me for money anymore!

It's never too late to turn it around, Cousin!

You did the right thing

Don't lend her any money

She'll use it to buy drugs!

Are you okay?

Did you fall asleep? Were you drunk?

Are you trying to kill yourself?

Of course not

Are you making a movie? Are you an actor?

No

I'm not an actor

I'm awake now

Falling asleep while driving is very dangerous

Don't do this again!

Hello

Mr. Marco! Haven't seen you for a while

What's your role?

A dying courageous soldier

Just lie down over there!

Quickly!

Costumes...make-up...get ready!

Over here right?

Heads, stick closer!

It's getting dark, hurry up

Should I open my eyesor keep them closed?

Who cares!

Then I'll die with open eyes

After all, this battle is
a glorious sacrifice to avenge the nation

Dying with regret. I should...

Don't move!

Ready

Action!

Protect the General!

Go!

Quick

I cover you

Go!

Look at this! What the hell!

Where did you get that?

Tencent WeeSee...

Check this out

So scared he peed his pants!

Marco is ridiculous!

Do you know Marco?

No, I don't

No

He did wet his pants!

I've watched this many times

Can't stop laughing everytime I watch this

Didn't know he makes comedy

This clip is hilarious

Marco!

Marco?

- Are you Marco?
- ls it really him?

Looks like him

ls it real?

- Yes, it's Marco!
- It's really Marco!

He looks better in person

Can you take a picture with me?

- I like you!
- Let's selfie

Look here

Really?

No rush...

No rush, let's do it together

Your clip was so funny! I love it so much!

(Record-breaking views: Marco is back!)

(Has-been child celebrity breaks
internet record with peeing video!)

(Wetting your pants to success!
Marco shocked over unexpected fame!)

(Brands fighting over new star -
Marco endorses baby nappies)

(Marco mad at Pee meme.
I'm not the God of Pee!)

Mr. Marco. We're so glad to have you today

Can you tell us how you made your comeback?

What 'comeback'?

You're red-hot once again

What red-hot once again?

I...

Was I dead and gone?

I didn't mean it that way

No, what did you mean by 'comeback'?

Are you trying to insult me?

That was really good!

Of course!

Mr. Marco is absolutely brilliant,
emotions come out anytime!

Sure, when my emotions explode, I can't stop it

Can you show us the 'peeing-the-pants' look?

So many children will be watching...

Let's not do that

You're right. Please tell us
what's next for you

What else? Just some international blockbuster

I've met Marco. This is the video of
me scaring him to pee himself

You're an actor too?

Yes, I used to be an actor

Have you met Bruce Lee?

Of course, I've met them all

Hey!

Stop chatting! Get back to work!

There were so many ups and downs for you.
Tell us how you feel

I feel so blessed

Not everyone can experience these ups and downs

I am grateful to the person
who scared me in the video

I wouldn't be here today without her

Who is she?

I don't know her name...but...

She's an actor

Dreamy!

Look who's here!

You look so good!

Mr. Marco!

Mr. Marco

Dreamy! I found you finally!

I came to thank you

She didn't do much. All she did was scare you

My hair turned white
from the shock she brought me

I wouldn't thank her for that

Come sit down

Come...

It smells delicious

You're super popular now!

Thank you for your scary face!

You have an amazing daughter

You are so mean

She looks like her Dad

No, like her Mum

She looks like her Dad

She looks like both of you

Also, I want to say congratulations!

You're shortlisted for Stephen Chow's movie

What?

You didn't know?

They're casting
some new actors with real talent

I saw your name on the list

Where did you see it?

Online

It's tomorrow in Beijing. See, right here!

- What happened to the internet?
- Sorry...

Anyways, I'm not going

Why not?

I have a new job now

I don't want to be an actor anymore

Why?

I'm a waitress now

Also, I've opened an online shop and
making a decent living

Dad and Mum are very content

Dreamy finally came to her senses. That's good!

Brilliant

Soup for Marco...

Very good

What's the matter?

I'm not feeling okay

ls it menopause?

Nonsense! He's way too young!

ls it a heart attack?

- Quick, call for an ambulance!
- No need. I'm okay

- Does your family know?
- It's okay. I'm fine

I can't watch Dreamy waste her life
as a 'happy' waitress

It's just not right

Don't get me wrong

What I mean is...

It's like an undefeatable boxer...

Giving up before the match even starts

I didn't give up. I finally understood

I don't fantasize about being a star anymore

You're giving up!

Mr. Marco

It's been more than a decade already

I've been ridiculed and rejected every day

Nobody wants to see me act

I've never got a single moment of respect

I've had enough!

Why?

What do you mean by 'why'?

Why give up?

I'm not giving up!

It's just...

It's just that I'm not cut out for it!

Hard work doesn't always pay off!

I told you so! But you insisted!

Let her be. She was bullied all the time

I know, I get it

I totally understand...

I came all this way just to show my gratitude

Now, I've got to go

Leaving so soon?

Mr. Marco, stay for dinner!

Please stay!

I thought that...

Not giving up...is what success is all about!

You had taught me that

Maybe I should give it a try...

I knew it! You just won't let it go!

You useless bum!

Then go!

Book her a ticket!

Train or plane?

- Plane!
- Plane

First class!

Get out of here!

I don't need that much, Dad

Take it!

You're a total bum!

Got the tickets! Get going!

First class right?

Sure

Thank you Mum

Dad, you're the best!

Stupid kid! Don't ever come back!

Alright

Don't forget your keys!

Got it!

(Acting and movement)

I'm a robot

Ok, next

Morning

I'm a growing mushroom

Next!

Hurry up!

Next!

(Emotional control)

Mum

Grandpa. Grandma

Uncle. Cousin

Brother-in-law

Auntie

Help me please!

My whole family's dead!

Fantastic! Next

Hello

Okay, next!

Sorry...I need five minutes to warm up

There're over a hundred people waiting!

(Talent showcase)

Thank you

That's very good. Next

Hello

I can make sounds with my hands

Next!

I'm sorry

This is a talent showcase!

Idiot!

(Role-play)

Hello

I will play a hero

Alright. Begin

I, Chen Zhen will take revenge!

Who killed my Master?!

Hello

I will play a spy

Get started

Boss, don't...

Aren't we supposed to be playing mahjong?

What are you doing? It hurts!

Don't...

No belt please

Hello

Hurry up

I play a con-man

Go ahead

Hurry up! Still over
a hundred people is waiting!

Cousin!

Darling, she's my cousin. Wait here

Who's she?

A client

Why did you call me your cousin?

Whatever! It's just a label!

Let me talk to her

She's really my client! You're my client too!

I provide service...Okay?

What service?

You know...that kind of service

Boyfriend for hire

You're an escort?!

Whatever! It's just a label!

Why me?

Am I just stupid?

Don't be so hard on yourself

Ignorance is a bliss, makes you happier!

Take it. Just do whatever you want

I'm just collecting my service fee

And also...

You can't just dine and dash, right?

You never thought I would make it as an actor

Sure, you can make it. You're the very best

As long as you pay me,
I'll keep telling you this

As often as you wish

Don't cry! She'll get suspicious!

Don't screw it up for me!

Cousin, quit doing drugs!

It'll kill you!

Never too late to
turn your life around, Cousin!

Thank you

Why did you hit me?

I'm not the cousin!

Sorry, I didn't mean to!

Can you switch and play the victim?

Sure

You're an escort?!

Whatever...it's just a label!

Why are you an escort?

Don't cry!

She'll get suspicious!

You look like a retard.
How could you be an escort?

Whatever you say, don't say I'm a retard!

That's not true

The truth hurts, right?

You must be seen as a retard since little

So now you scam people to prove yourself

Bullshit! Everyone loves me since I'm a kid!

They don't love you. They just pity you

Shut up!

You shut up!

Someone like you...doesn't deserve love

I...

You lowlife!

You retard!

I'm going to kill you!

Why me again?!

I'm so sorry!

I really didn't mean to hurt you!

Alright! Enough! Next!

So sorry!

Hey!

That way!

You made it to the next level!

(A year later)

Hey, what are you doing?

We are looking for our daughter!

Go to the police station! Not here

- That way please
- Thank you

That way

This song brings out
all kinds of emotions for me

Trust everyone here feels the same way

- Over there
- Okay, let's continue with the awards

The competition for Best Actress
this year is intense

For our nominees...

Are from all generations...

in the industry

Who will get the award?

But first...

Let's look at some footage
from before they became famous

Jelly was quite pretty before

Yes

Who's that?

That's Dreamy!

Yes

Please welcome our award presenters on stage

It's an honor tonight to give out this award

The Best Actress goes to...

This actress is really 'one-of-a-kind'
from the beginning...

to the end of the universe

Just cut the crap!

Life is...

But a dream!

Dreamy!

You did it!

Congratulations!

Dreamy!

It's alright

Hello, Dreamy!

I'm a fan of yours!

I love all your movies!

Thank you

I'm an actor too. Do you think I can make it?

Do you really love acting?

I was born to act. Will I make it?

No, you won't

Even to the end of the universe...not a chance!

Do you understand?

I get it

So what are you going to do?

I'll go back to be a farmer

Of course not!

Don't let people tell you what to do

Keep working hard

You can make it

I get it. Thank you!