The Most Terrible Time in My Life (1993) - full transcript

FOR "K"

Produced by

FOR LIFE RECORDS, FILM DETECTIVE OFFICE

Endorsed by

ASSOC. DETECTIVE AGENCIES, JAPAN

Hey, you.

Go buy a ticket if you want in.

I, uh, didn't come for the movie.

I'm just going up

to the detective agency.

Makes no difference.

If you're coming in,

you need a ticket.

One thousand yen.

Thank you.

Today's movie is an American film...

The Best Years of Our Lives.

I'm not here for the movie, I said!

Come in.

Have a seat.

My, uh, name is Kim.

I want you to find someone.

Fifty thousand yen a day.

Expenses are extra. Also...

there's no guarantee on results.

I know.

You're my third agency.

- They couldn't help?

- No.

I went to the police...

but they're pretty cold to foreigners.

Please.

You've come to the right place.

Who is it you're looking for?

Hey! Not gonna watch the movie?

I told you,

I'm not here for the movie.

To come to a movie

then not even watch it...

What're things coming to?

If you can't take time out

for a movie once in a while...

why even bother?

- Okay, I'm off.

- Take care, now.

Looking good! Here.

The name's Maiku Hama.

My real name.

I was born and raised here.

I'm a Yokohama private eye.

I look for people.

It's what I do.

It's tough sometimes,

and dangerous...

but that goes with the territory.

These days it's just me and Akane...

my 16-year-old kid sister.

It's my dream to send her to college.

Is that wrong? A private eye

having a dream like that?

Starring

MASATOSHI NAGASE

The Best Years of Our Lives

THE MOST TERRIBLE TIME IN MY LIFE

Here we go, go, go!

Here it comes, comes, comes... Ha!

- Winning with such a crappy hand!

- Get over it.

Now, now, don't fight!

You'd think they could get along...

having grown up together.

Right, Maiku?

Like Masako says.

Hey, that's my wife there.

Stop using her first name.

Why not?

Called her that for years.

- Right, Masako?

- Right.

- Don't you have a store to watch?

- Leaving so soon?

Try not to lose it all.

I could eat. What about you?

Hey, waiter.

Two fried rice.

Two vegetable noodle.

Two pork noodle.

No, no!

You're doubling everything.

Listen:

One fried rice, two crab fried rice...

one vegetable noodles,

three orders of gyoza.

- Exactly!

- Two fried rice. Okay.

One fried rice!

- Take it easy, Iwasaki.

- But he...

Chinese, are you?

From Taiwan, yes.

Three months now.

Not much Japanese, then.

No, I understand fine.

You do not either!

Aw, c'mon.

Give it a rest, huh?

Let's all have the same thing.

Good idea. Let's do that.

Four fried rice. Okay?

- Okay, Iwasaki?

- Yeah, yeah.

Four fried rice then, okay?

"1, 2, 3, 4," got it?

And gyoza: "1, 2, 3."

Gotta have dumplings. Okay?

You like what you like, eh, Iwasaki?

Fried rice, four...

and dumpling, three. Yes?

Yes! Perfect! Give him a hand!

Will you shut up?

Who the hell does he think he...

Let it go, let it go.

Being a P.I.'s changed you.

Time was you lived for that stuff.

It's the reason he went

to reform school lots of times, too.

Everyone changes, my friend.

Can't be kids forever, like you guys.

Look who's talking.

Here goes.

So, Maiku...

find the guy you were looking for?

'Course.

In the end, I always find them.

That's why I'm a pro.

You fucking with me?

You're in Japan.

Learn Japanese, damn it!

What're you lookin' at?

I don't do anything wrong.

Things are heating up!

Best stay out of it.

Right, Maiku?

In Japan, when you look

at someone like that...

this is what you get.

I'm sorry.

You don't look it.

I'm sorry.

Get on the floor and apologize!

He apologized already.

Who said that?

You talking to me?

Don't do it!

Ow!

Call an ambulance!

Hey, you guys, wait!

Maiku! You okay?

I saw it on TV once.

- They can sew fingers back on!

- Really?

C'mon everyone,

look for Maiku's finger!

It's dirty!

Look!

- There it is!

- Hey! You're right!

No, doggie!

Don't eat that!

He's gonna eat it!

Hurry up, hurry up!

Oh, man!

Mmm, good.

Best in my shop, I swear.

Now drop that nasty finger.

Come on. Eat this instead.

Good news, Maiku!

We got it!

It's only a little chewed up.

Well, it looks right, at least.

Yeah, but will I be able to move it?

I don't know.

If you're lucky, yes.

And if I'm not?

They put him back together!

Oh, yeah?

Are you okay?

Don't worry.

It wasn't your fault.

It's just a scra...

But you... better be more careful.

Watch that toy of yours.

Best not to use it.

You hear what I'm saying?

That's all, I guess.

Don't let it get to you.

Sayonara.!

Let's go.

My name Yang Hai Ping.

What yours?

Maiku Hama.

"Maiku Hama"?

My real name.

In Kogane-cho, on the 2nd floor of the

Nichigeki Theater, I run a detective agency.

If you ever need anything,

come see me.

And that's how I met Yang.

Are you an idiot?

Look what they did to you!

You always want to help people...

but some just can't be helped.

He should've paid

for the doctor, at least.

He wasn't the one who cut it off.

I'm aware of that!

But you almost lost your finger.

If you were really to lose it,

what would I do then?

Akane, don't cry!

I'll be more careful. Okay?

You better mean it. Swear!

I do! I swear!

Aw, don't cry!

DEAD YAKUZA FOUND MINUS FINGERS

Dangerous times we live in...

It's open.

Hey, come on in!

Is okay, your finger?

No problem at all.

Money for your finger.

Why so much?

Don't worry. Is my money.

Can't take it.

Take it!

I'll accept the gesture, okay?

Just that.

Take it, take it!

I said no.

But you must. Because of me...

you get hurt.

Otherwise, I never forgive myself.

I'm telling you, I don't want it!

It's not necessary!

- I'm sorry.

- Then go on, get out!

I'm on the job.

If is job, is okay?

This person I look for.

My brother, Yang DeJian.

Two years ago he come to Japan,

then disappear!

Please use money to look for him.

And that's how I began looking

for Yang's older brother.

First stop: Yokohama immigration.

I accessed the files

for one ''Yang Toku-Ken. "

Seems he immigrated

two years ago...

and is apparently still here.

He only had a two-week visa...

meaning somewhere in Japan...

he's living as an illegal alien.

Still driving that flashy piece of crap?

Guess you can't be doing too bad.

It just looks that way,

Lieutenant Nakayama.

Can't imagine

the illegal alien stuff pays much.

Tell me about it. I'm flat broke!

Seems to be a lot

of foreigner crime these days.

Gives me a headache.

Drugs, prostitution, theft, murder.

Few days ago, two more got it.

I should be getting back to work...

"Yang, Toku-Ken." Taiwan, huh?

Give it back!

Why are you doing this?

Since when do policemen get

to bully private citizens?

A "citizen"?

Since when, you punk?

What'd you say?

You see?

The eyes of a stray.

Your true nature shines through.

Gimme a break.

I'm just trying to get by, okay?

Seems to me

people don't change that much.

Shits like you stay shits till you die.

I'm sending you up someday,

you know.

Damn it!

Hello!

Hey, hey, look out!

Watch the road!

- You are divorcing her, right?

- What?

You like that, huh, mister?

Afternoon hotel break?

Once you're there...

you'll be doing stuff like this, huh?

K-Keep your hands on the wheel!

The wheel.!

Safety-First Hoshino Taxi.

What's up, Maiku?

I need to talk to you.

Roger.

- Sorry, folks. Ride's over.

- What?

Game... and set.

If I find something out, Hama,

I'll call you.

Nakayama's all worked up

over something.

Know any details, Hoshino?

Maybe I do, maybe I don't, but...

But what?

Oh, that.

You're a little short...

Give me a break!

We're old friends.

Well, yeah...

but it's my livelihood, selling info.

Never mind that.

Speak up!

You know you want to.

I... may want to, yes...

I do, I...

Please let me speak.

Seems the Taiwan and Hong Kong mafia

are planning a gang war.

That's why Nakayama's riled up.

Those murders are wrapped up in it.

Why did you kill them?

Don't go thinking

the Japanese police are fools.

I'll do my job.

You're a clever boy. You might

decide to let him ''escape. "

I've made my decision.

I'm going to kill him.

Don't worry.

He'll do it. I'm certain of it.

You get one last chance.

Screw up, though,

and you're on your own.

I hear he's with a new group anyway...

the Black Dog Gang.

Black Dog?

Isn't that the young yakuza group?

That's not all.

He's been naturalized, too.

He's turned his back on China

and is a traitor to our gang.

We can't let him live.

Here.

Have a nice day.

New home all right?

Not bad, not bad.

Yamamoto-san...

why didn't you take over

Kanno's place?

The wife likes where we are.

Not that I don't appreciate

Kanno's offer.

Is that Beijing I hear in your voice?

Beijing...

That's all in the past.

Always wanted to visit the mainland.

Before coming toJapan, I mean.

You can go anytime, though,

now that you're Japanese.

Shall we speak in Japanese,

Yamamoto-san?

I've decided to forget the past.

People should look to the future.

That's what Kanno always says.

True. Good point.

We have new lives, thanks to him.

So if we see him, we contact you.

Then we get? 5000.

Yes, you will.

I went to the mah-jongg

place the other day.

He got fired, that Chinese guy.

He what?

Because of the other day?

Nope. Got caught in the register.

Wouldn't have thought

he was the type.

Can't always tell by looks, you know.

It's Nakayama!

Yo, bro, buy me some coffee?

Find that Taiwan guy yet?

Bet not.

You saying you have?

Taiwan, Hong Kong...

it's no end of trouble.

They're over here

killing each other left and right.

Your point being?

Don't play dumb, you son of a bitch!

Sniffin' around like this...

What the hell you up to?

Get it straight... the ones chasin'

the dogs here are the cops.

What the hell we need a stray

like you for?

It's gonna be 10 years this time,

you read me?

If you do hear something, though,

gimme a call, huh?

What Nakayama meant by "dog"...

was probably "Black Dog Gang."

This is risky stuff.

We just look, right?

Fine.

This "Black Dog Gang"...

is a new yakuza group...

made up of naturalized foreigners.

Their leader "Kanno"

seems to be an ex-Korean.

They call themselves "The New Japs"...

and they're infamous

for their brutality.

"New Japs," huh?

Why's Nakayama think I'm involved?

The guy you're looking for is.

Why not you?

- Who's there?

- It's me... Maiku Hama, P.I.

What is it, Maiku?

- So, quit your job, huh?

- Yes.

That was the only place

I knew to find you.

If I'd have found your brother...

If I can't contact you,

I can't do my job.

You find him?

- No, uh, not yet.

- I see.

Actually, I'd like to

ask you about him.

How'd you like to go... you know.

- This?

- That.

- You buyin', Iwasaki?

- Who else?

A Taiwanese toast.

One more, one more.

You're too good to me.

Business must be good, huh?

Taiwanese toast!

So, Yang...

tell me more about your brother.

My brother?

He very good, very strong.

All I know, I learn from him.

Any other family?

Nope. Always just brother and me.

Know how you feel.

It's just me and my sister, too.

Mother, father, what about them?

Dead.

Oh? Too bad.

Same as you, Yang.

No, not same.

My father, mother, still alive.

You just said it's the two of you.

Father, mother, they abandon us.

They can't help it, though.

To be poor is hard.

Let's have another Taiwanese toast.

Okay...

next we drink at your place!

- My house? No, my house no good.

- How come?

My house too dirty!

'Sokay, 'sokay!

Mo man tai.! (No problem.)

"Tsu..." How you say?

Chu... Chu fa? (Let's go?)

Studying Japanese?

Wow. What a looker.

- No, Maiku. No look.

- Why not?

Give back.

Don't be shy.

Fact is...

when my sister finishes school...

there's this girl I'm thinkin'

of gettin' together with.

I like to get married too, someday.

Hey, great!

Is secret, though.

Only you know, Maiku.

Okay, but invite me to the wedding.

You come to Taiwan?

I'll come.

You bet I'll come!

Ah, thank you!

Makes me so happy.

Only other family is my brother.

Yeah.

Lookin' forward to it.

Maiku, no...

No, no, I said leave it to me.

Short some help, didn't you say?

What if he gets into the register?

Let me down, Kitamura...

and I'll go back to my bad ol' self.

Bullying your friends, huh?

I'm asking because you're my friend.

- Okay, okay!

- Thank you.

You start immediately.

Hama, you sure?

I'm sure, Hoshino.

It's the quickest way.

C'mon, Hoshino, let's get going.

'Kay.

- You okay?

- Hama, I am so damn sick of this!

Don't talk like that. We're old pals

from reform school, aren't we?

Tell me one thing: Why are you so taken

with that Taiwan guy anyway?

Maybe 'cause there's

something about him?

What the hell's this?

I told you not to steal anything!

Oh, you mean that?

It's, uh, for my collection.

In this line of work,

you kinda need a hobby, you know?

I'll hold it for you.

Oh, no. You...

Aw, hell!

Found your brother.

Tell me!

I want to see him!

Better you don't see him for now.

Why?

He's, uh, kinda mixed up

in some trouble.

Don't worry, though.

I'll make sure you two meet up.

Just wait a bit longer.

Okay, Maiku! I trust you.

Why'd you hire a private eye?

Don't trust me?

It's not what you think.

I wanted him to have some money.

You what?

He got injured because of me.

Friendship?

That can be dangerous.

I'll do it, I tell you.

And what'd you tell the P.I.?

That I was looking for my brother.

Fine.

When you've done the one,

you can do the other.

And now that you know where he is,

go and do him.

What are you after?

What do you mean?

I'm spreading the word of Jesus...

and hopefully selling some Bibles.

That's all.

Why'd you break into our office?

I'm listenin'.

I don't know what you mean.

I belong to a Bible study group. L...

Don't fuck with us.

We're the New Japs.

Okay, okay, I'll talk!

Just stop!

So... who are you?

I told you, I'm with a Bible

study group, you stupid f...

C'mon, New Jap, just try it.

I'll kill you!

You really are an idiot!

You drink, you fight.

All your bad habits, all over again!

You forget your promise already?

Sorry, Akane.

For shame! Make Akane cry

and I'll make you pay for it.

Shishido...

Looks like you really

caught it this time.

Prob'ly do you some good.

Who's this?

That's Yang. He's a friend.

How do you do. I'm Jo Shishido.

Me and this idiot

are in the same field.

My mentor... as a P.I.

- Hello.

- Hello.

We should talk.

I go now too.

Mr. Yang.

Yes, Akane?

Just as your brother

is important to you...

my brother is important to me.

Yes... I understand your feeling.

Ever since he started looking

for your brother...

he's been turning back

to how he was. It scares me.

Is okay, don't worry.

It be over soon.

Drink. It'll help.

The yakuza are the cops' job.

Yeah, I know.

That Kanno guy's one scary bastard.

Used to be under the protection

of the Inamura Gang...

but after taking over,

he pretended to cut all ties...

and started up with Hong Kong.

I'm not interested in the Black Dogs.

All I care about's one of their guys.

Yeah, and that's the problem.

He's the most dangerous of all.

How so?

The "Dragon Union."

It's the largest group in Taiwan.

This "Yang Toku-Ken" of yours...

was their number-one hit man.

But he's been targeted too, now.

Once he's gone, the Dragon Union

and Black Dog gangs'll go at it.

That restructures Asia,

which is what Kanno wanted all along.

'S got nothin' to do with me.

I'm goin' back to work.

Don't you get it?

They're only waiting

for your guy to get killed.

After that, they come after you.

Stay out of it, do you hear?

I won't have it!

What did you say?

Who needs your permission?

Not me!

You're your old self again, I see.

Just like old times.

Okay, okay, that's enough.

There you go, that's it.

Those stray-dog eyes of yours, exactly.

Maiku, you can't play punk forever.

I'm sure as hell too old to play dad.

Why do you care so much?

Take this, too.

TAIWAN'S "DRAGON UNION" HIT MEN

Hello. Who's there, please?

Can I... help you?

Hai Ping? Long time no see.

Came for your big brother, right?

Don't be shy. Come on in.

My younger brother.

Really?

Come in!

Please, come in!

Huang Bai Lan, my wife.

Married six months now.

Congratulations.

I'm happy for you.

She can't understand us.

She's Chinese, but born in Japan.

Like us, her family's from Hunan.

She came over with her grandfather...

but something happened,

and she was left alone.

I'll go fix something.

Why'd you betray the gang?

You left me stranded, alone.!

I never meant to cause you trouble.

How much do you get for killing me?

Two years ago,

I came over here to kill a traitor.

Afterwards...

like always...

I went out and bought a girl.

So, where are you from?

Your country.

Hometown?

Ah, of course!

From Hunan.

My grandfather told me.

Hunan province.

[HU / NAN / PROVINCE]

Same.

Same!

But... I never go there.

Me neither!

Never been there.

I decided to forget Taiwan.

I fell in love instead.

Chinese cigarette.

Good?

- Delicious?

- Delicious.

Oh, good.

Why always... so happy?

I've given up on dreams, you see.

I wanted to marry her,

but she was gang property.

They followed us everywhere.

Yang.! Hey, Yang.!

Where you at?

No need to hide anymore.

Kanno here's fixed it for you

with the gang.

It's okay.!

This is all thanks to Kanno-san.

I pledged him my loyalty...

and at his suggestion,

I became Japanese.

Why couldn't the two of us

share one dream?

It's been two years now

since I quit the gang.

You know I don't speak Chinese.

What can be so serious

that you'd both look like that?

I go home.

Please, stay a bit longer.

How often do you see your brother?

Next time we meet, Hai Ping,

one of us will die.

And come by work. Not here.

- The man's got to die.

- He's good as dead.

Then we start in on Japan.

Stray dogs, the both of 'em.

When a dog barks, they say,

someone dies.

Bai Lan, starting tomorrow,

I'll be staying at work a few days.

Just remember...

if anything were to happen to you...

I would die, too.

He quit?

Going back to Taiwan, he said.

Once upon a time in the East

there was a dragon

The dragon's name was China

Once upon a time in the East

there were people, too

Black eyes, black hair, yellow skin

The dragon speaks

throughout the ages

I am... Japanese.

I'm telling you as a friend:

Go back to Taiwan.

Why?

Just do it.

I don't know what you talking.

That so?

Okay, then.

Don't move!

If you kill your brother...

they'll come after you.

Two dead Taiwanese...

help only the bastards here.

Get me Lieutenant Nakayama.

You say you my friend?

Yes, and I don't want you to die.

That's right, Lieutenant Nakayama.

Nakayama...

Sayonara... Maiku-san.

Don't go! Yang!

Why don't the two of us do the job?

Doesn't have to be a gang thing.

Right?

Kato!

Relax, "Yamamoto"-San.

We're not planning to move...

against your little brother.

Hoshino.

Hoshino!

Step on it.

Hama, it's no good.

Let's go to the hospital.

Step on it, I said!

I've been expecting you.

Take it easy.

I know why you're here.

Just listen for a sec.

Easy now. Just listen.

Then you can do what you have to.

What I told you before...

About Huang Bai Lan?

I used her.

As what?

It's like this...

The marriage was a sham.

To get inside the gang.

The Black Dogs are gonna

take over Taipei.

What about your old gang?

What have they done for us?

Treated us like dogs.!

But traitors are even worse.!

Hai Ping, even dogs, you know...

dream of becoming masters.

You've changed.

I suppose I have.

You will, too.

Let's make our dreams come true.

Let's us dogs become masters.

It's our chance.

I'm going to kill you.

You don't get it, do you?

Didn't I teach you better?

A killer knows when to act.

But you can't be taught.

You won't learn your lesson.

Most blood is red...

but ours is black.

Hai Ping.

Good-bye.

Brother.!

So sorry, Yamamoto-san...

but your shooting first

was not part of the plan.

Yamaguchi, give the gun to Kato.

Okay, Kato...

shoot.

I can't.

I can't shoot a countryman.

Shoot, Kato.

We Japanese

are your countrymen now.

Go on, do it!

Hama...

MAI KU HAMA - OUT

Peng You (True Friend)

Hama, Maiku, c/o Nichigeki Theater

I'm going back to Taiwan.

Thank you for everything.

You are a true friend.

My only friend.

You've been like...

a real big brother to me.

Thank you.

Thank you.

And I'm really sorry

about your finger.

Stairway to the Distant Past

MAI KU HAMA, P.I. - THIS WAY

Keep messing with me and it's over.

Oh, yeah? How?

That cute sister of yours.

I'll tell her about your mother.

Go on, try it!

I'll tear you apart.

Second in the

"Maiku Hama, P.I." Series...

STAIRWAY TO THE DISTANT PAST

If we were strangers, Maiku...

could you make love to me then?

Mother.

Sayonara, Maiku.

COMING SOON

TO A THEATER NEAR YOU!

A KAIZO HAYASHI FILM

Maiku Hama

MASATOSHI NAGASE

YANG HAIPING

HOU DEJIAN

SHIRO SANO

KIYOTAKA NAMBARA

XIUJIAN, AKAJI MARO

SHINYA TSUKAMOTO

JO SHISHIDO

YU WElYAN, CAROLINE LU

WU KAO HSIUNG

HARUKO WANI BUCHI

NORIKO SENGOKU

KAHO MINAMI

Executive Producer

YUTAKA GOTO

Produced by SHUNSUKE KOGA

KAIZO HAYASHI, YU WEl YAN

Associate Producer

KIKUO FUKUJU

Written by

KAIZO HAYASHI, DAISUKE TENGAN

Photography

YUICHI NAGATA

Lighting by

TATSUYA OSADA

Sound Engineering

MElNA CO.

Art Direction

TAKEO KIMURA

Production

FOR LIFE RECORDS, FILM DETECTIVE OFFICE